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ANNOUNCER:
Today on Chrissy's Court,
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Derek Tran is suing
his boyfriend Daniel Falanga
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for $70 for buying the wrong
gift for Daniel's cousin.
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Daniel says this is typical Derek
and is over it.
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The people are real, the cases are real,
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and the judgments are legally binding,
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no matter how unqualified the judge is.
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- This is Chrissy's Court.
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[dramatic music plays]
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- All rise to the Honorable Judge
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Chrissy Teigen.
- Hello, everybody.
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- Hi, Judge.
- Hi, Mom.
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You may be seated. All right.
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Derek v. Daniel.
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So you guys are in a relationship...
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- As of today, yeah.
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[laughter]
- Or it ends today?
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- TBD.
- Okay, so,
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Derek, go ahead and explain
your side of this case here.
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- It was his cousin Katie's birthday.
- Mm-hmm.
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- And we decided to go halfsies
on gifts together.
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I wanted this really cute sweater
that says "that bitch" on the side.
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- [laughs]
- Very cute. It would go well
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with high-waisted pants.
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Is this from the Lizzo song?
She loves that song?
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Or is it...
- Yes, I sent him the link,
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and then he told me that
he bought the sweater already.
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- Okay.
- And then, cut to:
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it's Katie's birthday.
- Uh-huh.
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- And she sends us
this photo of a sweater,
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and I thought it was the ugliest
sweater in the world.
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- It did the job! She needed
a (bleep) birthday present.
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I don't understand!
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- Stop.
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- I love you both already.
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Okay, so, did she say, like,
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"Oh, my God, I just got the
ugliest sweater in the world,"
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or did you take a look at it and say,
"This is a really ugly sweater"?
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- That's a very good question,
Your Honor.
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- Thank you.
DEREK: Um...
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[laughter]
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- Ruling in favor for the defendant.
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- Uh...
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I knew that she was probably thinking
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it was the ugliest sweater,
and I thought the same thing.
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So now I'm suing him for $70,
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which was half the total cost
of the entire gift.
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- Okay, let me see this sweater.
- Okay.
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CHRISSY:
Mom, can you actually put it on, please?
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PEPPER:
Sure.
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It's really cute.
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CHRISSY: Oh, that's it?
Just a sweatshirt, simple sweatshirt.
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Put it on.
- I don't want to ruin my hair.
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You have literally no other job here.
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[laughter]
It's like all you do
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is every once in a while
you get your line right
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at the beginning,
and that's what you have to do.
- All right.
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So it's just "that bitch."
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- You know, it's simple.
It's not doing a lot.
- Yes.
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DEREK: But it's doing enough.
- What do you think of it, Mom?
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- Fit me perfectly.
- Actually, my mom
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would wear this in a heartbeat.
- [laughs]
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- You are that bitch, too, so...
- Yeah.
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- It's a good fit.
Daniel, your side of the case.
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- Okay, so I'm gonna fill in
the holes of the bullshit
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that Derek just gave us.
- Okay. [laughs]
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- Derek said he was going
to get this sweater,
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and then Derek has this talent
of just sitting on that forever.
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- Uh-huh.
- And not taking initiative.
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CHRISSY:
Okay, so,
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you were waiting on him to buy it,
and by the time that you finally realized
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he wasn't gonna get it,
you had to get something.
- Yeah.
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- Yeah, you want to see it?
- Yes, I want to see the sweatshirt.
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- If that's what you think
is so much nicer, we should've
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gotten her a (bleep) gift card
at this point.
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- More words!
- Chrissy.
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- Shut up, Derek.
CHRISSY: Oh, you can just
put it on over...
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Hey! Guys.
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Mom, can you read this to me?
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- "My DNA test confirmed
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I am 100% that bitch."
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[laughter]
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- That is a great sweatshirt, Derek.
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Uh, you're gonna double up now?
- DANIEL: It-it's gonna be hot,
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-sweetheart, don't...
CHRISSY: Yeah.
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She'll get it.
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Wait, so where do you both live?
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BOTH: Culver City.
- Okay.
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Amazing restaurants out there.
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Have you been to Vespertine?
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- No. That's...
- We don't have that much money.
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- n/naka?
- No! We don't have
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the kind of money you have!
[laughter]
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- It's less than Vespertine!
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- n/naka.
- Maybe that'll be my judgment,
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is just I'll send you both
to n/naka and shut up about it.
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[laughter]
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Okay, this one's great, too.
I really understand,
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there's differences in these sweatshirts.
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- It's a bubble font.
- Mom, what do you think?
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- Uh, I-I like the first one.
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The small word.
- Yeah, you're just that bitch.
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No, there was no DNA test
that confirmed it.
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We have Katie, actually, on Skype live,
and we're gonna talk to Katie.
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Katie is going to be giving us
the honest truth.
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- Hi, Katie.
- Hi.
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- When you received
the sweatshirt that says,
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"My DNA test confirmed
I am 100% that bitch,"
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you were like, "Thank you
so much for this sweatshirt."
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- Of course.
- But you can be honest with us now.
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Would you have preferred
to have this more simple
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"that bitch" sweatshirt?
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- I'm a big Lizzo fan,
and I think the sweatshirt I got
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more outwardly displays my love of Lizzo.
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- Oh, my goodness, Daniel.
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Derek, she loves the one she got.
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She can't say that she doesn't
in front of her cousin.
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- She already said it, Derek.
KATIE: I will say,
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I did bring it out at the bar
and showed it to people.
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- So you wore it out.
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- I didn't wear it.
It was in my bag.
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- See? See? See?
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CHRISSY:
Do you want to see my mom in it?
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KATIE: You look great.
[laughter]
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- Here's what you
could have had, though.
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- So I'm not giving it back, then.
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- No. Take it off!
[laughter]
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What the hell?
Who gets you dressed
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in the morning?
- W-Watch-watch my hair.
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Watch my hair and my ears.
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- Okay, so this is what
you could have had.
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- That's nice, too.
It's not showing my support
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at the level that I need
to be displaying it, so...
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- You're hearing this, Derek?
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- Has she worn it once out
since she's got it?
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- Yeah. You have a picture of me in it.
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- Where did you wear it?
Was it in public,
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or was it around the house?
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- Oh, it was in my house.
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- Chrissy...
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[laughter]
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- We have an expert celebrity witness.
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- Oh, wow.
- And I would like
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to put him up on the screen now.
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- The DNA results are in,
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and Katie is 100% that bitch.
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[laughter]
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CHRISSY:
All in all, she's happy
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with the gift she got, so case dismissed.
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You guys may leave the courtroom.
Thank you so much.
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- Come help me, Judge.
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- Oh, God.
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Okay, what do you guys think?
Let's get a round of applause.
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Who would prefer "that bitch"?
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[applause]
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Who would prefer the longer version?
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[gasps, shushes]
[laughter]
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- I still think that Katie
wasn't telling 100% of the truth,
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which kind of biased Chrissy's decision.
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- I pretty much crushed it.
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I, uh, delivered what I needed to,
and I came out with the W,
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which is all I wanted
to come here and do today.
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- Chrissy, we have a surprise for you.
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- What?
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- I have one more DNA result.
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Chrissy Teigen,
the DNA test determined
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you are also 100% that bitch.
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- Yes!
PEPPER: Yeah!
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[dramatic music plays]
13052
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