Original subtitles

ANNOUNCER: Today on Chrissy's Court,

lounge singer Joey Valenza is suing

David Oganesyan for the cost of a speaker

that was damaged when David

startled Joey with an outlandish song request.

David says it was Joey that knocked the speaker over,

so...

The people are real.

The cases are real.

And the judgments are legally binding,

no matter how unqualified the judge is.

- This is Chrissy's Court.

[dramatic music plays]

- All rise

to the Judge-- Honorable Judge Chrissy Teigen.

- Oh, are we using that?

- Yeah. - "For the Judge

Honorable Chrissy Teigen." Okay. - [laughs]

- Hello, everybody! - Hi. [giggles]

- Joey v. David.

Joey, you look so familiar.

- I have a generic face. - No! You don't have

a generic face. - I do.

I had a nose job, but it grew back.

- Did we date? I think we might have dated.

Joey, present me your case.

- I was singing in a restaurant.

Uh, I just finished a Sinatra song.

I was walking back to the stage,

and I heard a voice behind me say...

[deep voice]: "Hey, you do any rap songs?"

- Wait, how did he say it?

"Hey, you do any rap songs?" - Yeah. "Hey, you.

You sing any rap songs?"

I turned around.

It was a nice-looking young kid. I said,

"Uh, this room isn't right for rap.

Sorry about it."

And the look on his face scared me.

I went back, and my shoulder hit the-the speaker.

And fell off the table.

So I'm suing David for the value of my speaker,

which is approximately $999.

- So, David, your defense.

- So, I walked into the restaurant.

I ordered some takeout.

Uh, decided to listen to some music.

I saw he was singing good songs, you know?

- Yeah. - Like, you know,

I just wanted to hear my own style,

maybe joke around... - What song did you want

to hear? - A rap song.

I mean, do you look at him

and do you think that he knows a rap song?

- I mean... - [laughing]

- I mean, like, were you drinking

a little bit? - No.

- No, not at all. No. - No? Okay.

Well, that's not helping your case.

You should've said you were drinking.

Um, okay. - [laughter]

- He got worked up, and, uh,

he backed up into his speaker,

knocked it down, and he broke his own speaker.

So I don't owe him anything. - We actually have an expert

in music, and he's gonna come out and help me out.

So come on out.

- [applause]

- Thank you. So, John is actually a professional judge.

- I'm actually a coach.

I'm not a judge. - Oh, I'm so sorry.

You're a coach. That's right.

- But I do judge people. - [chuckles]

- So, can we hear a little bit of music from you?

- Now, I don't know if it's go-- It's working. - Oh.

- Now it works. - That sounds good.

- So it's not even-- it's not even broken.

- It works perfectly. - It won't work

for half hour, an hour.

But you never know.

- I want you to sing for me,

and I'll know if the speaker's working.

- ♪ I dream of Jeanie ♪

♪ With the light brown hair ♪

- Can I have one thing to myself ever?

- I just want to dance with you. - ♪ Born like a vapor ♪

♪ On the summer air. ♪

- Wait, you're singing that type of song,

and then David walks up to you and says, "Hey!

Can you...?" - "Play some Dr. Dre!"

- "Can you play some Dre?" - Exactly.

- Okay, John, can you go ask him

to perform a so-- a rap song?

John will approach you... - Yeah...

- Let's get the mic for you.

- ...and apparently scare the shit out of you.

- [laughter] - Look at me. I'm scary.

- ♪ And did it ♪

♪ My... ♪

- Excuse me, sir.

- [vocalizing]

- Could I hear some rap music?

- I'm sorry.

This room is con-- not conducive to rap music.

But I can tell you how they got the word "rap."

They took the "C" out of "crap." - What?!

- [shouts] And I hit the speaker.

- [laughing] DAVID: Right, right, right. Automatically.

- It's not funny, Judge.

- [laughter]

- It's not funny.

- David, is that how it happened?

- That's not. I can reenact it. - Okay, David,

please approach. Can you do it in the way that you think

that it happened? - Yeah.

JOHN: Okay. - John, you sing "My Way."

- Okay. ♪ I did it ♪

♪ My... ♪

♪ Way... ♪

- [applause, light whooping]

- Thank you, everybody!

- Very nice. That was very nice. - Thank you.

- That was very good. Can-- Do you have some rap music?

Maybe you could twist it...

- [shouts] - [laughter]

JOEY: Don't do it again, please.

That's exactly how he did it. - That's exactly...

- [laughter]

- Wow. So, I mean, either way, that was terrifying.

Uh... - [laughs]

- That's right.

- [laughing]

- John, how do you feel as an artist

if, uh, anyone approaches you to sing something different?

- Yeah. Well, I just think

the audience has a responsibility

to request responsibly,

if you know what I mean. - Yes.

- So he shouldn't have asked you to rap,

especially he's a takeout customer.

Like, how does a takeout customer get to request songs?

- [laughter] - Okay, so,

I mean, you backed up to your own [bleep] speaker, Joey.

Um... - [laughter]

[suspenseful music playing]

- [chuckles]

- [laughing]

- I mean, David, just know

that you don't go up to an entertainer in a restaurant

and ask for rap music.

I'm gonna go ahead and rule in favor of Joey for $999

for the speaker. [gavel bangs]

JOHN: Wow.

- But I'm gonna cover it. [chuckles]

'Cause I love you both.

Joey, you get a new speaker.

- ♪ And did it my... ♪

- ♪ My... ♪

♪ My... ♪

- [chuckles, vocalizing]

- ♪ Way...! ♪ - ♪ My way! ♪

- [holding note] - [applause]

- One breath, John.

- [chuckles]

LUNA: Good job, Mommy. - Thank you.

- What did you say, Luna? JOHN: "Good job, Mommy."

- Oh, thank you, baby girl. - [chuckles]

- Next time I want to request a song, I'll ta--

definitely take a extra look on the performer.

- Justice Christy-- Chrissy Teigen,

uh, did the right thing.

Thank you very much, everybody.

[dramatic music plays]