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1
00:00:05,009 --> 00:00:08,029
(Tweety)Russia's changed sincethe Iron Curtain went down.
2
00:00:10,025 --> 00:00:12,025
rattle
3
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:21,000
(Sylvester)Still Moscow remainsthe center for music and dance.
4
00:00:21,004 --> 00:00:24,004
- Ooh. What's that?- Bolshoi.
5
00:00:24,006 --> 00:00:26,006
(Tweety)Granny's gonna washyour mouth out with soap.
6
00:00:26,015 --> 00:00:29,015
(Sylvester)I said Bolshoi, as in ballet.
7
00:00:29,025 --> 00:00:33,015
It's modern ballet.
It's capitalism.
8
00:00:38,002 --> 00:00:40,022
So I bit him.
9
00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:42,020
'See, he hadn't had
bite in weeks.'
10
00:00:42,017 --> 00:00:46,007
Hey, I know you're out there,
I smell caviar on your breath.
11
00:00:48,005 --> 00:00:49,025
Comrades, it's not my fault.
12
00:00:49,028 --> 00:00:51,008
Nobody's gettin' a laugh
in this club
13
00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:55,016
since some traitor stole
the famed Bolshoi Borscht Belt.
14
00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:56,020
[all gasping]
15
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:58,022
(male #1)
'Bolshoi's gone.'
16
00:00:58,022 --> 00:01:00,032
Help! Back off, Manski.
17
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,020
'Somebody find that
belt...quickly.'
18
00:01:11,024 --> 00:01:14,004
♪ Whenever there's
a crime or trouble ♪
19
00:01:14,003 --> 00:01:17,013
♪ That no one who can solve
that all it seems ♪
20
00:01:17,008 --> 00:01:19,018
♪ That's when they call
them on the double ♪
21
00:01:19,017 --> 00:01:22,007
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
Mysteries ♪
22
00:01:22,014 --> 00:01:24,024
♪ If every day
or night whenever ♪
23
00:01:24,026 --> 00:01:27,026
♪ Conditions are right
for them to flee ♪
24
00:01:27,028 --> 00:01:29,998
♪ Somehow it all
still fits together ♪
25
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:32,022
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
Mysteries ♪
26
00:01:32,021 --> 00:01:35,021
♪ If there's a full moon ♪
27
00:01:35,022 --> 00:01:38,002
♪ An old house
with rocking stairs ♪
28
00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:40,033
♪ Just wook around you ♪
29
00:01:40,028 --> 00:01:43,018
♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪
30
00:01:43,023 --> 00:01:46,013
♪ Someday I'll eat
that darn canary ♪
31
00:01:46,007 --> 00:01:49,007
♪ And then I'll be happy
yes siree ♪
32
00:01:49,013 --> 00:01:51,023
♪ But Hector thinks
you should be wary ♪
33
00:01:51,018 --> 00:01:54,018
♪ Sylvester and Tweety
Mysteries ♪
34
00:01:54,019 --> 00:01:56,029
♪ The chase goes on
with each new mission ♪
35
00:01:56,029 --> 00:01:59,019
♪ With backdrops aplenty
globally ♪
36
00:01:59,025 --> 00:02:02,005
♪ And through it all
they're in contention ♪
37
00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:04,009
♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪
38
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:07,014
♪ Mysteries ♪♪
39
00:02:09,008 --> 00:02:10,018
[instrumental music]
40
00:02:19,021 --> 00:02:21,001
Anything to the claim?
41
00:02:21,006 --> 00:02:23,006
Oh. Oh, why, yes.
42
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:26,009
I'm thrilled
to be back in USSR.
43
00:02:26,014 --> 00:02:28,034
We're no longer USSR, madam.
44
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We are Russian now.
45
00:02:30,021 --> 00:02:33,011
Oh! Oh, how silly of me.
46
00:02:33,013 --> 00:02:35,033
'Eh, well,
we were booked for Hawaii'
47
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'but then a space at Lennon's
Leisure Village opened up.'
48
00:02:39,005 --> 00:02:40,005
Ah!
49
00:02:44,019 --> 00:02:45,999
[growls]
50
00:02:48,022 --> 00:02:49,022
[gulps]
51
00:02:49,026 --> 00:02:51,026
(male #2)
Nice kitty-catski.
52
00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:06,010
Ha! You cannot bring American
blood jeans into this
country.
53
00:03:06,010 --> 00:03:07,020
- Let go.
- They're mine.
54
00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:09,027
- They're mine. Mine.
- Mine. Mine.
55
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And they call us ugly Americans.
56
00:03:13,014 --> 00:03:16,014
(male #2)
You can keep them.
57
00:03:16,011 --> 00:03:19,001
Oh, I did need a skosh
more room.
58
00:03:19,005 --> 00:03:21,005
[giggles]
59
00:03:21,008 --> 00:03:24,018
And I could use
a skosh more dinner.
60
00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:29,001
Aah..
61
00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:32,021
[whirring]
62
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,020
[instrumental music]
63
00:03:39,026 --> 00:03:41,996
[Sylvester laughing]
64
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:47,007
Ooh. Lucky that worked.
65
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:52,011
[gasps]
66
00:03:59,007 --> 00:04:01,007
[groans]
67
00:04:05,018 --> 00:04:09,008
Hurry, Sylvester,
the shuttle's about to leave.
68
00:04:15,002 --> 00:04:17,032
[instrumental music]
69
00:04:26,013 --> 00:04:27,033
Eeh!
70
00:04:31,013 --> 00:04:33,023
[instrumental music]
71
00:04:43,007 --> 00:04:45,997
Be prepared.
Pack, wash, and wear.
72
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,020
Goodness! This isn't mine.
73
00:04:53,029 --> 00:04:57,019
[laughs]
But it does go nicely
with my skirt.
74
00:04:57,019 --> 00:04:59,009
Oh, I feel funny.
75
00:04:59,013 --> 00:05:01,023
Oh, so funny.
76
00:05:01,023 --> 00:05:03,013
[knock on door]
77
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:05,030
Knock knock, who's there?
78
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,011
[screams]
79
00:05:07,009 --> 00:05:10,019
Sylvester,
the man just wants a tip.
80
00:05:13,024 --> 00:05:15,024
Here's your tip, fella.
81
00:05:15,018 --> 00:05:17,998
'Ah, don't eat any yellow
snow.'
82
00:05:18,005 --> 00:05:19,005
Uh?
83
00:05:21,001 --> 00:05:22,021
I thought I heard a rimshot.
84
00:05:22,026 --> 00:05:25,006
You've been a wonderful bellhop.
85
00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:26,030
I'm here all week.
86
00:05:26,028 --> 00:05:28,008
Try the beets.
87
00:05:28,024 --> 00:05:30,034
[laughing]
88
00:05:32,006 --> 00:05:36,006
And they say Russians
have no sense of humor.
89
00:05:36,012 --> 00:05:38,012
'A bum walks up to me and says'
90
00:05:38,009 --> 00:05:41,999
"I haven't had a bite
in a week, so I bit him."
91
00:05:42,002 --> 00:05:43,012
[snoring]
92
00:05:43,012 --> 00:05:45,012
I tell you, there are more
93
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,022
communist plots around here
94
00:05:46,026 --> 00:05:49,016
than in a Moscow cemetery.
95
00:05:49,021 --> 00:05:53,001
'Why did the Russian find
a rubber tire in a soup?'
96
00:05:53,005 --> 00:05:56,015
'Because the automobile
is finally replacing the
horse.'
97
00:05:56,022 --> 00:06:00,022
'Did you hear the one about
Russian-Japanese food?'
98
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:03,010
And now or later
you're hungry for power.
99
00:06:04,024 --> 00:06:06,004
Hmm?
100
00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:11,020
Hey. Give me back
my subcutaneous insulation.
101
00:06:11,026 --> 00:06:14,006
Don't try that at home.
Result may vary.
102
00:06:14,012 --> 00:06:18,012
Come on, boys,
let's paint this town red.
103
00:06:18,008 --> 00:06:19,008
Eh, red?
104
00:06:19,013 --> 00:06:21,013
[laughs]
105
00:06:21,007 --> 00:06:24,007
Shh. Oh, I'm hot tonight.
106
00:06:25,022 --> 00:06:27,022
(male #3)
'Look, granny wears the stolen'
107
00:06:27,021 --> 00:06:29,021
'Borscht Belt in open
defiance.'
108
00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:31,011
'Purely to mock us.'
109
00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:33,031
[snoring]
110
00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:35,021
[camera clicks]
111
00:06:39,022 --> 00:06:43,012
(male #3)
'It is time for plan B.'
112
00:06:45,024 --> 00:06:47,024
[instrumental music]
113
00:06:47,024 --> 00:06:49,024
Ah, the cold war.
114
00:06:49,023 --> 00:06:51,013
Those were the days.
115
00:06:51,009 --> 00:06:53,029
Wiretaps and microchips.
116
00:06:53,029 --> 00:06:55,019
How I miss spying.
117
00:06:55,024 --> 00:06:59,034
We need a nice international
incident to liven things up.
118
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:02,028
[both screaming]
119
00:07:02,027 --> 00:07:05,017
Hmm. You ever heard
of the Borscht Belt?
120
00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:09,034
Sure. I opened
for Jack Shekky..
121
00:07:10,001 --> 00:07:12,031
Not that Borscht Belt,
you Bolshevik.
122
00:07:12,027 --> 00:07:15,007
The one that makes
anyone a comedian.
123
00:07:15,009 --> 00:07:16,019
I hear it's missing.
124
00:07:16,023 --> 00:07:20,003
(all)
Manski! Manski! Manski!
125
00:07:20,003 --> 00:07:21,013
[audience cheering]
126
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,018
Ta-da!
127
00:07:24,014 --> 00:07:27,014
Take my dental, please.
128
00:07:27,008 --> 00:07:29,008
[audience laughing]
129
00:07:31,004 --> 00:07:36,014
My car is such a lemon, they
found medflies in the engine.
130
00:07:36,013 --> 00:07:41,013
Citizens, that Amerikanski
grandmother is thief.
131
00:07:41,009 --> 00:07:44,019
'She wears our beloved
Bolshoi Borscht Belt.'
132
00:07:44,017 --> 00:07:45,027
[audience gasping]
133
00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:47,009
Gracious, no.
134
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:50,018
I only thought
it went with my pumps.
135
00:07:50,024 --> 00:07:52,004
[indistinct chatter]
136
00:07:52,003 --> 00:07:54,023
Time to call the ambassador.
137
00:07:57,008 --> 00:08:00,008
Oh! Oh, goodness, you're fast.
138
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,023
Who are you?
139
00:08:01,025 --> 00:08:03,005
I'm Fud Figmanski.
140
00:08:03,014 --> 00:08:05,014
Owner of the Gulag Giggle Coach.
141
00:08:05,016 --> 00:08:07,016
You're being set up. Look.
142
00:08:07,023 --> 00:08:12,013
Citizens, the Amerikanskisare
trying to start World War III
143
00:08:12,011 --> 00:08:15,021
by presently taking away
our greatest resource.
144
00:08:15,024 --> 00:08:18,024
Comedy. They must be stopped.
145
00:08:18,025 --> 00:08:19,025
Now, the world.
146
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:22,021
All I did was accessorize.
147
00:08:22,026 --> 00:08:24,016
With that belt,
you'll become
148
00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:27,011
the funniest American
since Pauly Shore.
149
00:08:27,016 --> 00:08:29,006
I want you for my club.
150
00:08:29,012 --> 00:08:30,022
You'll be safe there.
151
00:08:30,021 --> 00:08:32,031
Oh, but I couldn't possibly..
152
00:08:32,027 --> 00:08:34,997
[audience clamoring]
153
00:08:37,012 --> 00:08:39,002
Ah, when do we leave?
154
00:08:40,016 --> 00:08:42,006
[indistinct]
155
00:08:42,011 --> 00:08:44,031
(Fud)
'Because they's thinking
capitalist waterfowl.'
156
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,010
Thank you, Marx Brothers.
157
00:08:46,014 --> 00:08:49,014
And now, direct from America.
158
00:08:49,016 --> 00:08:50,016
Granny!
159
00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:52,019
I'm starving.
160
00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:54,010
[audience laughing]
161
00:08:54,013 --> 00:08:57,023
I'm serious.
I have low blood sugar.
162
00:08:57,023 --> 00:09:01,003
I need to eat something sweet.
163
00:09:01,006 --> 00:09:02,006
[audience laughing]
164
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:05,010
Russian candy bars.
Wait a minute.
165
00:09:05,007 --> 00:09:08,017
Ooh, granny loves caviar
and chocolate nougat.
166
00:09:08,023 --> 00:09:11,013
Oh, pardon me, but I ate so much
167
00:09:11,012 --> 00:09:13,022
I need to loosen my belt.
168
00:09:13,026 --> 00:09:15,996
[groans]
169
00:09:19,013 --> 00:09:21,023
[instrumental music]
170
00:09:23,013 --> 00:09:24,023
rumbles
171
00:09:24,026 --> 00:09:26,016
[growling]
172
00:09:32,017 --> 00:09:34,007
screech
173
00:09:34,012 --> 00:09:35,022
[audience laughing]
174
00:09:35,024 --> 00:09:38,004
Granny's fine,
but I have a life.
175
00:09:38,006 --> 00:09:40,006
And I have a canary craving.
176
00:09:40,007 --> 00:09:43,027
Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh.
177
00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:46,999
Sylvester, there is no eating
in the theatre.
178
00:09:47,006 --> 00:09:48,016
Have some respect.
179
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:51,012
Respect?
You've got our Borscht Belt.
180
00:09:51,014 --> 00:09:53,034
And I'm taking it back.
181
00:09:53,029 --> 00:09:55,009
[groaning]
182
00:09:57,006 --> 00:09:58,016
[groaning]
183
00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:01,019
[screaming]
184
00:10:01,025 --> 00:10:03,995
(Tweety)
'Gremlins from the Kremlin.'
185
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:05,022
I don't get it.
186
00:10:05,019 --> 00:10:07,019
Why would you want to frame me?
187
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:10,020
- We've been bored.
- Pieces hack.
188
00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:12,023
♪ We are Gremlins ♪
189
00:10:12,024 --> 00:10:16,014
♪ From the Kremlin ♪
190
00:10:16,008 --> 00:10:20,008
Say, I wonder if there are
anymore of those little
guys.
191
00:10:20,009 --> 00:10:22,999
There could be.
192
00:10:23,025 --> 00:10:24,995
[yelps]
193
00:10:26,003 --> 00:10:28,013
[audience laughing]
194
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,998
[theme music]
13282
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