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♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ It's the name and career ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ Which is what they do best ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ They have special tools ♪
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♪ For which they are fools ♪
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♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪
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♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪
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Announcer: At Warriors for Hire Headquarters! Ebee-ebee!
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♪ Grup, Grup, Grup ♪
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♪ Grup is sweeping ♪
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♪ Grup is sweeping ♪
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Huh? [ Gasps ] No!
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[ Sighs ] Huh?!
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No! [ Snoring ]
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Not in Grup's happy home!
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Huh? Huh?
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Get out of my house, scary things!
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Grup, stop. Oh, hey, Prohyas.
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I mistook you for a terrifying heckbeast.
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Prohyas was simply using Monster Suit Magisword
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to make us nice and snug!
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Ooh! I, too, want to be snug.
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Boop! Yay! I'm a dragon!
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Aw! He's a dragon! Aw! He's a dragon!
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[ Doorbell ringing quickly ]
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Together: Tracy, Bobbipher!
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Announcer: It's the now-adult children of Teri Gargantuan,
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the spider the Warriors met at the top of the Octoped Tower!
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They used to look like this! They grow up so fast!
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Greetings, Uncle Prohyas.
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Looking positively tasty in that fly getup, Aunt Vam.
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Tracy and Bobbipher
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sound like perfectly normal human person names.
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Please, dearies, come inside and have a seat!
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Yep, inviting totally normal human peoples into our home.
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So how's mama Teri doing these days?
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Not great.
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Yeah, Mom's fighting a crazed game hunter
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named Francis Thingshooter
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on top of Octoped Tower as we speak.
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Gasp! Gasp!
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Yeah, we tried asking our hundreds of siblings,
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but they're all pretty busy
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leading their fulfilling adult lives.
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Boop! Tyler and Zander are off
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backpacking in the wilds of the Lyvsheria sign.
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Boop! Candi's eggs just hatched.
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Boop! Logan is a janitor at some big building in Galacton.
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So, yeah, you get the idea.
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Okay, we can totally--
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Ptooey!
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Aah!
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We were already gonna do it, and now there's jemms!
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Yay! Yay!
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Announcer: Soon, at Octoped Tower!
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Is that Franklin Thwartshaver?
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Boo, boo, boosh!
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It is I, Francis Thingshooter, in fact!
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And that... giant spider shall be mine!
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Boosh! Boosh! Boosh!
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[ Laughing ]
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Kids, Warriors, don't get caught up in Mama's web of dramas!
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[ Grunts ] Ptooey!
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Serve!
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Francis, I demand you leave
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Teri Gargantuan alone this instant!
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You may think me a monster, some lady,
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but I am in fact, law-abidingest of citizens!
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Licensed, approved, be-permitted,
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and notarized the corporation of Galacton, Incorporated.
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Well, we're still gonna kick your booticus, no matter --
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Brother, stop! If we wish to save Teri,
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we must do so within the boundaries of the law.
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-Vambre's right, kids! -Tally-ho!
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It's super important to abide by the law,
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even in situations like this.
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[ Munching ] I'd go fill out some forms in Galacton, but...
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[ Slurps ] I gotta dodge this fellow,
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lest, you know, I be eliminated and whatnot.
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The law! The law!
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The law! [ Screeches ]
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-Huh. -Hey, babies.
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You honies go to Galacton
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and try to sort this one out for us, 'kay?
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We'll stay here and help
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by staying very much out of the way.
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What helpful children I raised!
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Announcer: Soon, in Galacton!
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Galacton Incorporated Inquiry Center
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seems like a fine place to start.
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Hello. Please come back after lunchtime.
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Huh? Nope!
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Announcer: Retractable Ladder Magisword!
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Not leaving here until you answer our questions!
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[ Sighs ]
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Prohyas, you have to speak in a bweezness-like manner
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or it shan't take you seriously!
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Ahem. To whom it may concern, which is you.
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I, Vambre Marie Warrior, possess an inquiry
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which I must beckon of you
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at this chronological vertice relevatory --
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Request understood without further verbosity.
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Announcer: Ball Point Magisword!
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So what does it do?
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It -- It writes, Prohyas.
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I know what a pen d-- Combined eye color?
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Um, mauve, I suppose?
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Nature of soul? Good?
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Least favorite bug? Fig wasp.
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Why? Don't ask
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and don't look it up.
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We adulted! We adulted!
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Commence shredding. Please take a number.
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Now serving one.
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Now can we finally ask you a question?
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Yes. Thank you for your inquiry.
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Not fair! That did not qualify as a real question!
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It ended with a question mark.
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I am only able to answer one inquiry per individual visitor.
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[ Both growl ] What are these?!
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A form apologizing to me
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for your distastefully aggressive behavior.
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[ Growling ] Oh, dear!
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This unknowable black void of excruciating emptiness
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wasn't here before, right?
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I won't wait for answers any longer!
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Yah!
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All right, you! Hey, hey--
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What is that?
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Well, that's...new.
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Ugh... It got newer!
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[ Gargling ]
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How do you do?
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Uh...huh? Uh...huh?
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How do you do?!
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Uh, fine, thank you.
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Really? Do you know where you're going?
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Who are you? When will you know?
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Did you leave the oven on?
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I don't know what I did with the oven!
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I don't know what I did!
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Hmm...
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And where might you be going?
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Wait, are -- are they...
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Noncommittal oven response?
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Gasp! It is just as I thought.
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They know too little!
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We might know more
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if you actually told us some useful information!
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Please take a number. Bye-bye!
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There's a triangle in this rectangle!
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This isn't even a number!
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See here, automata, we--
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[ Both screaming ]
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Oof! Oof! My posterior!
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I hate tri-tangles that don't help us at all!
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Hey. Gasp! Gasp!
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No littering or loitering.
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Wait, Logan? Logan Gargantuan?
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Uncle Prohyas, Auntie Vam-Vam?!
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Hey, wait, is this about Mom?
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Yes! If we don't hurry back, your mother might get squished.
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We need to do something about Francis Thingshooter's permit.
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Gosh, this sounds serious.
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But I do know who can counter that hunter's permit.
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You want to talk to Thaddius Thirdwell III.
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If he can't help ya, no one can.
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That fails to reassure.
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Now, uh, right through the door with ya.
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[ Sighs ] A stinking waiting room?!
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Logan, if you could just pull a few --
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Logan plays by the rules.
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Also, here's a form you gotta fill out.
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For?
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Making a dang old mess in my nice clean hallway.
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Och!
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The lighting in here makes me itchy.
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Please take a number.
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I think I might hate numbers now.
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I used to at least like the odd ones.
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Now serving zero-zero-one.
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The problems are multifold.
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Announcer: 20 minutes later! Wow!
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Bacon technology has come a long way since...10 years ago?!
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What?! No! What?!
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They can't do this to us -- we are human beings!
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Now serving number zero-two-F.
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[ Both screaming ]
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Announcer: 45 minutes later!
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This -- This is punishment, right?!
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We're -- We're being punished?!
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Will the suffering never end?!
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Now serving number 12.
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Finally!
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We're just one digit away from freedom!
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Now serving number 12.001.
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What?! What?!
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Now serving blue.
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I'm warning you.
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Now serving unladen swallow.
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Now I shall -- Is that a Rhyboflavish swallow
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or a Galactonian swallow?
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I-I... I'm not sure, I...
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I -- Er, I --
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I've had it up to here with bureaucracy!
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Right there? Right here!
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Let's see their bureaucracy and raise them some och-racy!
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Yeah! Disestablishmentarianism!
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Ya guys still in here? I gotta clean!
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We were just leaving, Logan!
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But, first, may we borrow your employee badge?
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Did you not hear me mention that Logan plays by the rules?
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We're trying to save your mother, you horrible
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little arach-nerd!
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Announcer: Soon in Thaddius's Thirwe--
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Th-- yeah!
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My office is the fanciest in all the land!
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Announcer: Monster Suit Magisword!
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Cleaning spider! Clean!
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-Spidering. -Ah, good, you're here!
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My can has become infested with garbage!
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Yes, sir, Thaddius, sir! Glad to clean and --
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I can't breathe in here! Abort, abort!
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Mah, mah, mah, mah, what?!
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Mr. The Third, we've most urgent matters to discuss with you.
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It's pronounced "3.0."
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I shan't listen to your flim-flam
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unless you've gone through the proper channel-flannels.
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Sir, you've okayed a permit
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that affects whether someone should live or perish.
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I sign everything!
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You like forms, eh?
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Announcer: Ballpoint Magisword!
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Forms like this?
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A form! Give to Thaddy!
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"From this moment forward, I hereby declare Teri Gargantuan
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off-limits forever, signed Thaddius Thirdwell III."
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That was surprisingly easy.
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After it goes through the system,
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you can expect the delivery between 30 minutes and 30 days!
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It seems that while we wait for said form to arrive,
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we'll have to resort to action.
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Agreed! Announcer: Rad Rocket Magisword!
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So long, Mr. 3.0!
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[ Screaming ]
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Robot Secretary, please order me a new door.
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I have a name, you horrible man!
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Announcer: Soon! Ya had enough, ya mallet head?!
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[ Maniacal laughter ]
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[ Sobbing ]
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Leave our mama alone, ya stinky poodle!
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Silence, beast! Keep that up and you're next!
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Hey! You don't talk to my kids that way!
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I have so much net for your face! Boosh!
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No, please! So full!
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No!
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[ Gasps ]
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Francis! Hi!
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00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,000
Hi, Teri! Hi, Teri!
265
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,000
There's a permit arriving at any minute now
266
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,000
that says you cannot hunt her anymore!
267
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,000
Ha! I'll believe that when I see it!
268
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000
Boosh! Boosh, boosh!
269
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000
-Ach! -Eek!
270
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,000
Oh, no, you did not, Francis.
271
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,000
Oh, no, you did not!
272
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,000
I did, actually. My name is "Thingshooter."
273
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,000
Like, it's my actual name.
274
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,000
Let's tango! Let's tango!
275
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:25,000
I'm more of a waltz man. Boosh! Boosh, boosh!
276
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,000
Is that the best you can do, Francis?
277
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,000
Hyah!
278
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,000
Yeah, actually. What of it?
279
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,000
Egads!
280
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,000
[ Panting ]
281
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,000
Hey, Francis?! Look it.
282
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000
Announcer: Instant Wrap Magisword!
283
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,000
Ach! This won't hold me!
284
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,000
For I have a secret.
285
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,000
I'm sucking it in, like, all of the time! Boosh!
286
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,000
Aah! Aah!
287
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,000
I got to relax for an entire few minutes!
288
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000
Yeah! Bring it!
289
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,000
Yeah! [ Screaming ]
290
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,000
Special Delivery for Warriors for Hire.
291
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,000
Huh? Huh?
292
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,000
Have an incorporated day.
293
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,000
Francis Thingshooter, you gotta stop it now!
294
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,000
What?! Let me see that!
295
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,000
[ Mumbling ] Well, that boils my buttons.
296
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000
As an honorable and law-abiding hunter,
297
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,000
I cannot mount you on my wall.
298
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,000
Therefore, I shall obtain a counter-counter permit
299
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,000
for your counter permit. [ Maniacal laughter ]
300
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,000
If Galactonian red tape is what you desire...
301
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,000
Here's a one-way ticket to bureaucracy-land.
302
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,000
Announcer: Spider Web Magisword! Slingshot Magisword!
303
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,000
Together: Super Teamwork Combo -- boosh!
304
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,000
[ Screams ]
305
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,000
Together: Spider Trebuchet!
306
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:36,000
How dare you not think I already had transportation!
307
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,000
-Yes! -Yes!
308
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,000
Phew! Glad that mallet-head is gone.
309
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,000
Tracy, Bobbipher!
310
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,000
Is it safe?
311
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000
You bet your sweet spider buns it's safe!
312
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000
Come on, group hug!
313
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000
You're the best uncle and aunt a spider could ask for!
314
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,000
[ Gasping ] Don't mention it!
315
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,000
It -- It was nothing!
316
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,000
Ah, you two -- so modest! And soft.
317
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,000
Robot Secretary, order me one more fake animal head.
318
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000
[ Thump ]
319
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000
Robot Secretary, cancel that order.
320
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,000
You'll have to fill out a cancelation form, sir.
321
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,000
I love forms!
322
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,000
[ Upbeat music plays ]
22958
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