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♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ It's the name and career ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ Which is what they do best ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ They have special tools ♪
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♪ For which they are fools ♪
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♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪
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♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪
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Announcer: At the Rhyboflaven Bazaar!
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[ Both scream, grunt ]
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[ Both groaning ]
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My, but that was a spectacular failure.
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Yay, spectacle!
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That may be our longest hang time.
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I'm jotting this down in our personal record book.
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So things didn't go as smoothly as we hoped, as "yuzhe."
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We still got away with the Cat Tongue Magisword.
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I consider this a messy successy.
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Hello, what's this?
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I'm so glad y'all asked, young lady!
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This here be the Rhyboflaven Bazaar Board of Opinions.
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Why?
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Well, shoot, everyone's got opinions.
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'Course, that's just my opinion.
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Give folks a way to express 'em,
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and, hot dog, does they feel empowered.
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Empowered folks are happy, and happy folk buy things.
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-Does it cost anything to post? -Nope, the board's free,
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and also unregulated and anonymous and what have ya.
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Huh. I foresee no negative repercussions
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-to any part of that statement. -You kids have fun
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trying it out, now, ya hear?.
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-[ Grunts ] -I'm-a do that right now.
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"Slugburger equals delicious."
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And post.
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[ Shudders ] Hey, I do feel a little of that empoweratude.
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Oh, I'll give it a go, I suppose.
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"The Printed Page is my favorite bookstore,
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and it is managed by the most platonic of friends
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you'll ever make."
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[ Shatters ] [ Screams ]
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[ Laughter ]
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Hey, Warriors, there's a post here about you, too.
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Really? Swizzity-sweet. "The Warriors for Hire blowed up
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that cat statue with egg how," the letter "U," "even do that?
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Usign bomberang and bubble gum magic swords together
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4 make Boomerwad was genious."
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Then like seven ellipses, "Not. What a losers."
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[ Sighs ] Really, Borp? You can do better.
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-Hey, he didn't write it. -Yeah, don't Borp the messenger.
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Uh, how is there a review of our latest mission
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if we just got back from it?
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Why would you even use eggs in that blistering heat?
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Are you some sort of egghead?
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[ Laughter ]
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And what even was that Boomerwad combo thang?
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Oh. I ended up having to use Sharkblade Magisword
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to cut all the gum out of Prohyas' hair after that one.
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Yes, yes, amusing. Run along, children.
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We're the Broccoli Dumplin' Kids.
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Yeah, I'm not calling you that.
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What's got you all miffed in a tizzy, brother?
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The laughter of children is never a good thing
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in any context, but you seem to be taking it harder than usual.
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It's not them. It's this mysterious stranger.
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At least the doopy kids had the nerve to mock me to my face.
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This post wasn't even constructive.
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They were just being a mean Billie-Jean.
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No, this libel must be nipped in the bud.
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-[ Snickering ] -I said "bud."
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"Hi, it's me, Prohyas Warrior.
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First of all, there are no mere magic swords.
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They're Magiswords. It's a portmanteau, you see.
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Now, as far as as how Giant Egg Magisword
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could possibly explode an ancient temple"...
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Announcer: Soon. "But I've trained my hair,
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so it's okay. I hope that clears everything up."
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And post. There, that should do it.
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-Should it? -Yes.
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Ah, Warriors, I was just on my way over to hire y'all.
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I'm in need of a pungent purple-flowered crocus stigma
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to grind into saffron for my famous Flaming Flamingo Paella.
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Those certainly were words.
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Glad to do it, Fued. It'll be a nice distraction.
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Announcer: One mission later!
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So we give thanks to Vambre and Prohyas Warrior.
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Decades of fighting between the once-mortal enemies
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of pirates and unicorns has finally come to an end.
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Glitter Clan owes you young adventurers a great debt.
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You've saved many peg-legs and rainbows
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from being spilled on the battlefield.
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I, Long James, love this guy. Bring it in, Cornan.
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[ Laughs ] The tears won't stop flowing.
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-Pirate Mayor. -Seriously, guys, rock on.
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Y'all can use the spa whenever you want after this.
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[ Squealing quietly ]
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Let's hear it for peace in all of Lyvsheria!
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It's hard to believe that fetching food for Fued
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finished this feud.
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I've never, ever been more proud of us as people.
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"Warriors," the number 4, "here are phonies.
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They end unicron fights here that were cool.
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I lick 2 watch dose.
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They didn't even get dat flower 4 Fudd,
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so their big fails, LOL." [ Growls ]
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Announcer: That evening...
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If I can catch that poster posting posthaste,
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I can finally!!
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...calmly inform them of how they are mistaken.
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That's it. Come have an opinion. You know you can't resist.
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I'll be here, waiting to give you the ultimate tongue-lashing.
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[ Snoring ]
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Prohyas, I've been nooking every cranny for you all morning.
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Huh? What?
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Dang it! "Way to sleep on the job, dingus, ROFL."
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I was not on a job! The stakeout was a personal failure!
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Ohh, this letter will be sternly worded.
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Prohyas, love, put the pen down.
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Don't feed the trollblins.
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We have a mission. That always puts my mind at ease.
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[ Groaning ]
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Fine. What's the gig?
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Announcer: Soon.
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They're supposed to be somewhere near the marshes.
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Ah, there. That's the trilobite
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that Omnibus wants for his terrarium.
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So if we want that doopy doopster to stop writing
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the nasties on us, this needs to go flawlessly.
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Slow and steady will win this race.
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Announcer: Cat Tongue Magisword!
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There'll be no screw-ups if we slow-ups.
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Easy now. Careful.
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Care...
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Announcer: 13 hours later!
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Three, two, one.
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There. The swamp has been successfully drained
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with zero embarrassing mishaps.
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Now we simply walk out to the big rock
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and take this dopey little giant pillbug, like so.
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[ Growls ]
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Where did that terrible trilobite go?!
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How ya doin'? Ya know, I swear that yesterday,
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right where we're standin', there was a marsh.
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You wouldn't happen to know what happened to it, would you?!
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Get over here, you cuddly creepy-crawly!
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Yes. Ning!
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-Get over here. -I must procure it.
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[ Both exclaiming indistinctly ]
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Um, hello? Remember me?
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King Rexxtopher, the single most ferocious predator
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in the history of Lyvsheria?!
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[ Grunting ]
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-Now! Yah! -Now! Yah!
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[ Trilling ]
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Oh, crumbs.
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[ Grunting ]
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I got it. I got --
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Ew. That is so gross.
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[ Growls ]
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-Ptooey. -Must succeed.
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Must succeed. Where'd it go?!
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Announcer: Electric Razor Magisword!
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Heads up, brother!
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[ Trilling ]
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-And gotcha! -Double gotcha.
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-Double squish ya. -[ Trilling ]
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No, no, no, no, no!
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That's it, no more humans
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sabotaging the local eco-lo-lo-logies here.
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What's the current record on your midair hang time?
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13 minutes.
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Hmm, I can beat that.
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-Ning! -Good form!
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And stay out of our delicate enviro-system-s-s-s.
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[ Both screaming ]
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[ Both groaning ]
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27 minutes. Impressive.
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[ Laughter ]
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Hey, Prohyas, sounds like you took a lickin'
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after takin' a lickin'!
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There's mud in your face. [ Laughter ]
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[ Growls ] What has that jerk said about me now?!
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Announcer: Foam Finger Magisword!
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Can't you see we failed Omnibus' mission
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due to your obsession with this mystery commenter?
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[ Sighs ] You're right, Vambre.
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The only reasonable thing I can do is to find out
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who this contemptible commenter really is!
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-Och. -You!
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Yes. It was us, Witch Way,
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purveyors of misdeeds for our own twisted amusement.
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[ Cackles ]
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Uh, just for our records, which specific purveyed misdeed
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are you referring to? Leaving nasty
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anonymous comments about us
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on the Bulletin Board of Opinions?
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-What?! -What?! That wasn't us.
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-It wasn't? -It wasn't.
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When we mock you,
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we do it right up to your broccoli-farming commoner faces,
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so you know it was us who did it.
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-See? -See.
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Oh, well, that is in line with your usual motives.
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Come, Prohyas. We've another gig to do.
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Oh, before you go, you want to buy a Trilobite?
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-We got dozens of 'em. -Omnibus hired us
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to get just one, but they were so easy to capture.
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[ Screaming ]
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Announcer: Later! Vambre:
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Princess Zange has hired us
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to collect Puca Shells from the Puca Shell tree.
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Hmm. Making this simple victory look epic won't be easy.
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Announcer: Bulldozer Magisword!
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Don't you think this sword is a bit overpowered?
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Nope. Ning!
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Got 'em! Whoops. Wait, no.
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[ Groans ] You're ruining my epic victory!
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Foolish mammal!
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Your reckless attack on the innocent Puca Shell tree
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has made all the shells a-flee-flee-flee.
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You would have known that, if you had paid attention
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to current events. [ Laughs ]
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Would you like me to explain my hilarious pun to you?
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No. What in blazes?
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-Oh, no. -Grande asperge!
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It is Lyvsheria's number-one pop bard, Frankie Jupiter!
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♪ Hey, you hired me ♪
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♪ To read the things they say about you ♪
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♪ And now and how ♪
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♪ Are the words that may or may not be true ♪
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♪ Be ready for the words from the bulletin board ♪
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♪ So once again ♪
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♪ Prohyas is in over his head ♪
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♪ The Puca Shells got away ♪
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♪ So here's man-fish instead, you ain't ready ♪
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♪ Dude, you just had one job ♪
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♪ You smell, you stink ♪
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♪ You've no future in this bweezness ♪
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♪ I don't think you'll ever be ready ♪
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Uh, hey, that's all the guy wrote. Sorry.
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So, did hiring someone to sing you the mean comments
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improve the quality of your life the way you thought it might?
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-It's fine. -Really?
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-I have a plan. -And that is?
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I'm going to head back to town, go to the bazaar,
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and destroy that abominable bulletin board
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of jerk-face meanies!
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Announcer: Rad Rocket Magisword!
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[ Shrieks ]
254
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Prohyas, destroying the bulletin board isn't right!
255
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I can has revenge!
256
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I've got to stop him.
257
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Announcer: Chainsaw Magisword!
258
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-[ Screaming ] -No!
259
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Announcer: Wad of Gum, Beehive, Cheese, Brick Magisword!
260
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[ Squish ] [ Groaning ]
261
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[ Grunting ]
262
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I dislike this post!
263
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,000
-Halt. -Eh?
264
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,000
What's this weird thing from the sky
265
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that's impeding us on our quest?
266
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-Could it be a ferocious beast? -Yay, beasts!
267
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-Prohyas, are you alive? -No!
268
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-Vambre? -And Prohyas!
269
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-The Warriors for Hire! -The Warriors for Hire!
270
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You've heard of us, younglings?
271
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Are you kiddin'? We've heard about all your adventures.
272
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Like how you escaped an exploding temple.
273
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And stopped a unicorn/pirate war.
274
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You literally got in the face of the king of dinosaurs.
275
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And fought a terrifying fish-gentleman hybrid.
276
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Look out. It's a terrifying fish-gentleman hybrid.
277
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Och. I failed the quest.
278
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You only fail if you quit.
279
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Now, let's ding-dong do this.
280
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-Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew! -Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
281
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Looks like they're too busy having fun with our adventures
282
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to go leave comments on some board.
283
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So why obsess over the opinion of a person
284
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who will always be negative regardless of what you do?
285
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Look out, kids. There's a seven-headed wombat
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destroying the town. Pew, pew, pew, pew!
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-Pew, pew, pew, pew! -Come on, guys.
288
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Last one to Slugburger's in second place!
289
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Wait, that's it? That's how this ends?
290
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But we never found out who wrote all those mean posts
291
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-about the warriors. -Well, yeah, the whole point
292
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is that it doesn't matter who it was.
293
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They're letting the message get in the way of the backstory?!
294
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They have no idea what we want.
295
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♪♪
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