Original subtitles

Max, why are you digging through Regine's stuff?

I'm just making sure she's not taking anything that's mine.

I've left a lot of things over here over the years.

Crumbs maybe.

Synclaire, tell me that's not a cigarette in your mouth.

No. It's a cigadont.

It's for people who are trying to quit.

You don't smoke.

Yeah, but I feel like I could start at anytime.

Khadijah, this is all your fault.

If it weren't for you, Regine wouldn't be moving out

and I wouldn't be suckin' on plastic right now.

Well, if you want somebody to blame your nutsy cuckoo

behavior on, it's Regine.

She's the one that made the decision of leavin'

I'm not playin' her game this time.

Okay, well, everything upstairs is packed up.

So, Khadijah, what are we gonna do about this couch?

What you mean, what we gonna do? I bought it at stake.

Yes, dear. But I had it reupholstered.

So, what do you want? The fabric?

Hey, that's a great idea. I'll make drapes.

Well, I'm gettin' off on outta here because I'm, I've not time.

Give me my..

[Queen Latifah singing "We Are Living Single"]

♪ We are Living Single ♪

♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough You gotta fight ♪

♪ With my homegirl standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True‐blue we tight like glue ♪

♪ We are Living Single ♪

♪ Ah‐h ♪

‐ Hey, Mr. Foster. ‐ Hey, Max.

Oh, I see you're stockin' up this week.

Yeah, yeah. I had a craving for toast and Khadijah's out of rye.

You don't sell this by the slice, do you?

Sorry, girlie.

Alright, everybody, freeze.

You, give me the money. Just put the money in a bag.

Let's go, let's go.

Ah!

Oh, my God, you saved my life.

(man on TV) 'This mild light‐bodied cigar has a spicy character'

'but is dominated by woody flavors and..'

What are you doin', sweet pea?

Watchin' the Smoking Channel.

What is this cravin' you have for the evil weed?

I can't help it. Whenever I get stressed, I get this urge.

When Buddy was a puppy he ran away.

I was so upset that I took a cigarette

out of my mother's purse.

Turns out, Buddy was just at the groomer's

but it was too late.

I was already a slave to the demon nicotine.

Um, honey, snugglepuss..

That was a long time ago.

But Regine's moving out now.

It's separation anxiety.

I'm gettin' Buddy flashbacks.

[slurping]

Ooh! There's a noise I won't miss.

Well, good, here's one for the road.

[slurping]

Alright, ladies, I tried to stay out of this

but I can't hold my tongue no longer.

Your hostility got my baby experimentin' with tobacco

this must stop.

Alright, Synclaire, if it'll make you feel any better

you can have the airbrush kitty potholders my mother gave me.

Thank you.

Whenever I press this kitty's face

to a scalding piece of metal, I'll think of you.

Oh, Khadijah, look, look.

All the good kitchen stuff belong to Regine.

She even took the lemon zester.

Now, we'll never know what it does.

Max, I'm‐I'm tellin' you, it's really no big deal. Alright?

How can you say that?

Max, you holdin' on to Kyle.

You two been drinkin' again?

This wonderful man saved my life.

‐ 'What?' ‐ What?

I'm standing in line at Mr. Foster's market

when this gunman with a ski‐mask comes in

and points his gun right at me.

My heart's beating out of my chest. I'm repentin' big time.

Then this beautiful man..

[laughs]

Oh, he just appears from nowhere

wrestles the thug to the ground.

It was the bravest thing I've ever seen.

Well, alright. Shorty rescuing the damsel in distress.

Max, you okay?

I'm fine.

Thanks to my hero.

Come on, Max. Now, you makin' way too much of this.

[gasps]

I could've died.

That could've been it. Maxine Shaw... case closed.

When I saw that gun swing at me, it came to me in a flash.

You never know how much time you have left.

Kyle, what can I get for you?

What can I buy for you? What can I do for you?

Well, alright then.

Max, Ma‐Max‐Max, look.

Nothin', nothin' please.

Okay?

Well, at least let me make you dinner?

You gonna cook?

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I'm gonna cook.

Tomorrow night. 6 o'clock, my place.

See you there.

[clanging]

Synclaire, you can clean your pipe later.

Come on. Zina's gonna be here any minute.

We gotta make this place look nice.

I don't want the place to look nice. Don't want her to like it.

I don't wanna interview a new roommate. I want Regine to stay.

Why?

Once again she has turned a little argument

into a major drama.

I'm not havin' it.

We've to find somebody to cover the rent she's stiffin' us on.

Not necessarily.

If we grow potatoes in Regine's room

the government will subsidies us.

[doorbell ringing]

Hi, I'm Zina, Russell's friend.

‐ Whoa! ‐ Come on in.

This place is huge!

Y'all got furniture. I like that in a place.

[Khadijah laughs]

Uh, look, Zina, I don't know what Russell told you

but basically we're lookin' for a roommate

who can pay her rent on time

and occasionally cook a five course meal.

Well, I try to stay away from fats and sugars, carbohydrates

protein. Mind if I smoke?

Please do, my ashtray is hungry for cinder.

Oh, and you don't have to worry about bills

'cause I always pay on time.

Creditors hassle you enough, you learn.

‐ Do you have bad credit? ‐ Uh‐ah, no, no, no.

My wages are only attached for two more months.

That's exactly what we were looking for.

I feel like we're family already.

Don't she look like Khaliah Ali without the mustache?

Well, it seems like y'all are really hittin' it off, huh?

Hi, Zina right? Well, I'm Regine.

[coughing]

Yes, I am the roommate that is movin' out.

You are gettin' a great room and a great roommate

in Synclaire.

So, where you from? What do you do?

I'm from the Bronx and I work.

Well, isn't she snappy.

Well, it was nice meetin' you. Smooches.

Ooh! Now I understand why y'all gettin' rid of her.

Attitude!

Did she say smooges?

You know, Zina, Regine may have her faults

but nobody talks about her like that, except for me.

So, uh, you take your chain‐smokin'..

No cookin'

credit‐impaired behind right up on outta here.

Yeah! What she just said, yeah.

Yo, Overton.

I've been thinkin' about this dinner with Max

and, uh, I'm just not sure what to do, man.

If you want my opinion, I say dress casual.

You have a tendency to... overdress.

I'm trying to decide whether or not I should go at all.

Oh, man. Put some wool socks on those cold feet and get goin'.

'Hold up, hold up.'

Are you implying that I, Kyle Barker am afraid?

Afraid, chicken, lily‐livered. Call it what you will.

Two cookie kids belong together.

Everyone knows it except for you two.

Yeah, man, but Max is only havin' me over

because she thinks I'm a hero.

Well, you disarmed a man that had a gun in her face

I'm guessin' that qualifies.

Yeah, truth be told

I was just runnin' in to get some Kaopectate.

Yeah.

When I ran in, I accidentally knocked the guy over

I didn't even know what was goin' on until Max straddled me.

So, instead of being a hero

you just a klutz with a trutz, huh?

Hey, don't worry about it, your secret's safe with me.

Man, isn't it wrong to take advantage?

I mean, she's throwin' herself all over me because of a lie.

Oh, man, you didn't seem to have that problem

when she was all lickin'‐‐.

Hey, hey, hey.

So, what are you sayin', I should go through with this?

Heck, yeah.

Float on.

If I'm gonna find out if this is real

between me and Max, it can't happen like this.

I'll gonna tell her the truth.

Da, da, da. Ha!

[phone ringing]

(Max on answering machine) 'Yeah, hey, you know who this is'

'uh, leave a message, you know.'

[beeps]

(Kyle on phone) 'Max, uh, this is Kyle.'

'I've been thinking about your invitation to dinner..'

Yeah.

'...very flattered, it's very generous of you..'

Thank you.

'...but, uh, the truth is'

'we‐well, I just don't deserve it. Thanks anyway. Bye.

Well...

Out of the eight possible roommates we've interviewed

I only kinda like the biker who's smokin' a joint.

I don't want her to go either, but I won't sit here and beg.

(Regine) 'Watch it! Watch it!'

Hey, hey, watch that corner.

Alright, Regine. What you got in this box? Books?

No, no, that's the heavy box. This is just sandals.

Alright, Kyle, I don't know who you think you are

but I did not spend the whole day cooking, cleaning

and hanging pictures for the first time

so that you could cancel on me at the last minute.

‐ But‐‐ ‐ But nothing.

I've had enough of this humility crap.

You saved my life, and there is such a thing as been gracious.

‐ Max‐‐ ‐ Max my ass.

I've got a roast that's ready.

A salad that's going to wilt, and candles I plan to light.

So you're coming to my house.

I'm gonna stuff food down your throat and you'll feel faint.

Is that clear?

Max, you seem to have a lot of energy.

Can you help us with this box?

My house. 6 o'clock sharp.

Or from now on, our relationship is going to become

really unpleasant.

[door closes]

Yeah, right. Like I'm scared of her.

Like she gonna tell me what to do.

Please..

I'm going.

[knock on door]

Six o'clock, on the dot.

Well, I wouldn't dare be late

after such a gracious invitation.

Just shut up and come in.

So, this is the palace of Maximus, huh?

Ha, I figure this is where you trap them and..

That's where you cage 'em, huh?

Only by request. The rest are released back into the water.

Ah, so you have a piano. I didn't know you play.

I don't.

It's a gift from McLay. Well, not really.

But, uh, when he gives me the 1800 bucks he owes me

he can have it back.

[piano music]

I see you don't play either.

‐ Let's see what you can do. ‐ Okay.

[sighs]

Liberace.

[off‐key piano music]

[chuckling]

And not one lesson.

I see nothin' but potential. Come here, put your hand here.

♪ That's a C ♪

♪ That's a D ♪

[hums softly]

♪ Ye ooh ooh ooh.. ♪

Ooh, yes, crab cakes! Crab cakes.

And this desk, that box, and that plant.

Well, that's it.

‐ I guess this is it. ‐ Guess so.

Bye, Regine.

Stop her! This is your chance to be the mature one.

No, this is Regine's chance to be the mature one.

Look at her. She's just waiting for you to ask her to stay.

How can you tell?

Because I'm looking with my heart.

Well, take you heart to Lenscrafters

because I ain't seeing it.

Please..

‐ I'll smoke. ‐ You wouldn't.

[chuckling] Oh, yeah.

Soon as I find a match

this place is gonna smell like a bar in the east village.

Okay, okay.

Alright, I will talk to her... for you.

You are not a well‐woman.

Look, um, Regine, how would you react if someone were to say

they were sorry, and ask you to stay?

I never really thought about it.

I guess I'll have to be in that situation to know.

So you might stay if someone would ask?

Honestly, I don't know.

Okay, Regine, I will admit..

When you told me you were moving out, I didn't believe you.

Well, look, don't do this just to prove me wrong.

I am really, really sorry. I want you to stay.

I know you really mean that, Khadijah.

Thanks.

But I really think we've outgrown each other.

I need to do this for me.

Unbelievable!

You mean to tell me

you get me to break down and apologize, and you leave anyway?

You are true to form to the end. See ya.

‐ Ciao. ‐ Bye.

‐ X's and O's. ‐ Later.

Ah, you..

[sighs]

I don't think I've ever seen you carry

a tray of food that you were not eating.

I don't think I've ever seen you without losing my appetite.

But here we are.

‐ Thank you. ‐ Mm‐hmm.

Um..

Look, I'm not real good with this gratitude thing.

So, um, open it.

Oh, wow.

Max, this is beautiful.

It belonged to my grandfather.

Now it's yours.

You gave me more time.

It keeps time.

Ooh, that's corny.

[laughing]

But you know what I'm saying.

Um, I‐I don't know what to say, Max, uh..

‐ I can't except this. ‐ Yes, you can, dammit!

Come on, why are you making this so hard?

Because it was an accident, woman, alright?

What?

I didn't even know the store's been robbed.

I just bumped into the guy.

So I do not deserve your gratitude

or the watch, or the crab cakes.

So come on and insult me in that special Max way.

You know I'd love to.

I'd really love to. But I can't.

Kyle, it doesn't matter whether you did it by accident

or on purpose.

You saved my life.

So, so, wait. What are you saying?

If some policeman had disarmed that gunman

he'd be standing here right now instead of me?

Maybe for drinks.

But I would not have defrosted the seafood.

So then, this is more than just a thank you?

Oh, I don't know. You know, look.

When you called and canceled..

I was upset.

Like I'd been stood up by a real date.

Well, um, this kinda feels like a real date.

Yeah.

[chuckling]

Truth be told, I've..

Been developing a sort of sick curiosity about you.

[laughs]

Well, um, I must admit to a certain

perverse fascination with your inner workings.

‐ So what do we do now? ‐ Hey..

This is your house. I am just a guest.

Nah! We can't, we can't.

You know, things could really get complicated.

Yeah. We live to regret it.

[laughs]

Whoo! It would be the stupidest thing we've ever done.

But it's not like we haven't done it before.

[chuckling]

Yeah, yeah. But, but that was by circumstance.

This time it would be by choice.

I've always been pro‐choice.

Well, it would be a shame not to take advantage of that.

A waste.

[laughing]

You know, Max, uh..

You could get addicted..

[laughing]

Please..

‐ You may never leave. ‐ You may be right.

[chuckling]

Oh, no! What the hell are we doing?

I don't know. I'm following you.

Come on, you're not helping me here.

Max.

Tell me, what do you want from me?

I don't know.

But look, alright.

This is moving way too fast.

‐ Let's just slow it down. ‐ Maybe you're right.

Maybe we should take this one step at a time.

[sighs]

Is this really going to happen?

It's been happenin'.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

H‐how much for the Kools?

‐ Three dollars. ‐ And Marlboros?

‐ Three dollars. ‐ How much for the lights?

‐ Three dollars. ‐ Oh, they're lights.

They should be cheaper.

[coughing]

Are you gonna buy somethin' or stand there suckin' air?

Okay, okay, okay. Uh, uh..

Chewing tobacco. How much is chewing tobacco?

‐ 'Synclaire!' ‐ Huh?

Damn, it's a bust. We never had this conversation. Shh!

What, what, what..

Woo‐hoo!