Original subtitles

[door opens]

Damn! My advertisers are gonna freak.

I sold all this space based on having "TLC" on the cover

but now "TLC" has to go to LA to shoot a PSA for the NBA.

‐ Now, I'm PO'ed. ‐ Join the club.

I tried to get tickets for "Naughty by Nature" today

all they had was row, Triple Z. And I do not like nose bleeds.

"Naughty by Nature" is in town?

‐ 'Yeah.' ‐ I'll get them for the cover.

I know Vinnie.

You're tight with "Naughty by Nature"?

Prove it. Get me a date with Treach.

Nah. She's tight with him.

Her and Vinnie used to torture me when we were kids.

Alright, let it go, Regine.

He made me eat flies, Khadijah. Flies!

Khadijah, you think you can get me front row seats?

I mean, money is no object.

I'll pay 40 percent of the face value.

‐ Consider it done. ‐ Thank you.

Me and Vinnie are like fam, I'm tellin' you.

But he's a big celebrity and you're a big... nobody.

[Kyle smirks]

Please, I can call him anytime.

Hm‐hm.

Got his home number memorized.

Uh‐huh.

Hi, Vinnie? Wassup, it's Dijah.

Yeah.

Oh. A photo shoot, huh?

Well, I'll call you back later.

Alright, peace. Ha ha.

‐ That's my boy. Ha ha. ‐ Disconnected?

Uh‐huh.

[laughing]

[Queen Latifah singing "We Are Living Single"]

♪ We are Living Single ♪

♪ Ooh in a 90s kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough You gotta fight ♪

♪ With my homegirls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True‐blue we tight like glue ♪

♪ We are Living Single ♪

♪ Ah‐h ♪

"Naught's had, all's spent.

Where our desire is got without content."

[applause]

I totally dug your "Lady Macbeth."

Man! It was really... earthy.

Personally, I have a lot of respect for "Lady Macbeth."

Oh, the chick was a total villain.

How she manipulated her husband into committing

terrible acts of evil.

Kinda like Nancy Reagan.

Wow, 10 o'clock. Remember, next week my place.

"King Lear" and Tupperware. Don't forget your checkbooks.

‐ 'Bye now.' ‐ Goodbye now.

(Synclaire) See you next week. See you.

Get home safe. Bye.

Synclaire.

I had no idea that you could act like that.

You're a natural.

‐ Really? ‐ Yeah.

Now, there's this play I wrote that's being produced

at the Park Slope Playhouse.

And we open in a week

and there's one part I still haven't cast.

I want you to be in it.

Me? I don't know what to say.

Say you'll read it. And if you like the part, you'll do it.

Okay. Which character would I play?

Oh, it's major. You'd be, woman with shopping bag.

Wow!

Exactly.

Guess what? I just got offered a part in a play.

‐ Alright. ‐ Oh.

That's great, sweet pea. Congratulations.

Guess that acting class really paid off, huh?

Big time.

Being on stage has always been a secret dream of mine.

I wouldn't say takin' acting classes

and updating your headshot every six months is a secret.

So, what part do you play, my little mahogany?

Woman with shopping bag.

Sounds good, eh?

Nah, I don't know. Depends on where she went shoppin'.

Well, let's have a little look, shall we?

Yada yada yada, my part.

Yada yada, my part, my part, my part.

My part, whoa! This is a good play.

You know, it's gonna take a lotta rehearsal.

It could eke into our snuggle time.

You don't have to use our relationship

as an excuse not to pursue your dream.

I find plenty of time to practice the oboe

it doesn't interfere.

I didn't know you play the oboe, Obie.

I didn't know you had headshots.

No, I told you, I'm a friend of Vinnie's.

No, I already spoke to the agent

who transferred me to their publicist

who transferred me to their personal assistant

who transferred me to you. Who are you?

No, I'm very happy with my long distance carrier.

‐ Hey. ‐ Oh, good, Regine, you're home.

Need your help with this acting exercise called The Mirror.

The Mirror? Hmm, sounds intriguing.

Yes, all we have to do is look each other in the eyes

and mirror each other's every move.

Wha‐what are you doing?

Well, in my mirror, you need a touch up.

Hey, hi, ma.

Oh, nothing.

I just wanted to call you and tell you I love you.

Okay, here's a favor.

Look, I need you to run over to Vinnie's mother's house

and get his number for me.

She's not talking to you?

Well, ma, there is a pooper‐scooper law.

You shouldn't have let Smokey do that on her lawn.

She said what about Smokey?

You didn't track down Naughty yet?

[chuckles]

Look. I'm a journalist, Max.

Would you let me work my sources?

[whispers] I'm sorry.

Okay, ma, thanks anyway.

‐ Oh, eggplant. ‐ Back off, it's mine.

I don't wanna eat it. I wanna say it.

Oh, well, that makes sense.

It's an acting technique.

If you remove all language except for one word

it forces you to use that one word to express all emotion.

Eggplant.

Eggplant.

Eggplant!

Eggplant.

You know, somehow I don't think Denzel's walking around

his house going..

Eggplant.

So, what is this play about?

It's about the choices that we have to make

between material goods and spiritual fulfillment.

Nah, I read it and thought it was about eight people

standing in line at the ATM.

It's about that too.

And Aaron is thinking about expanding my part.

So that you're woman with two shopping bags.

[laughing]

Hey, now, I finally found something I'm good at.

Remember, many a successful actor had humble beginnings.

Michelle Pfeiffer was a checkout girl.

Brad Pitt worked in a chicken suit.

I worked for Khadijah, I'm gonna be big.

[laughing]

Eggplant.

The ATM just ate my card.

And I have exceeded my withdrawal limit.

I can receive no more.

Then you may only give.

[clapping]

Powerful stuff, people.

Oh.

Okay, notes.

Uh, lady in heels, project.

Fat man with camera

you need to focus.

That was a truly moving performance

and I should know.

I studied acting across the street from Juilliard.

Oh.

Okay. Everybody, gather around.

Now, last night, I was reading this final scene

and I got really bummed out.

You know, I felt like the climax just didn't.

Then I got inspired.

It is so exciting when your muse strikes.

Mine always pops up when I loofah.

Aaron, the scene, yeah

it takes the play to a whole new level.

From heels, to clogs, to sandals.

It's every woman's story.

Aaron, um, this Xerox is a little fuzzy.

What's that word? Rude, crude?

Oh, no, that's nude.

‐ I come into the scene nude? ‐ Yeah.

Okay. Everybody, let's take it from the top.

[door opens]

I come home from a long day's work

and find you two kickin' it in my apartment

what's wrong with this picture?

Kyle's here.

I'm here waitin' for Khadijah to come home with my tickets.

I'm waitin' for Khadijah to come home with my weekend.

Treach.

There I am trying to jump on the hood of Vinnie's car, right

as it comes out of the private garage.

Then out of nowhere, these two bodyguards

grab me and throw me into the fruit stand.

I got kiwi all over my butt.

Oh, so basically what I'm hearing

is there are no tickets.

Come on, Khadijah

you can call one of your other celebrity friends.

I hear Shaun Cassidy is in town.

Okay.

Hmm.

You win. I guess you're right.

I guess me and Vinnie weren't as tight as I thought.

I don't know why you tryin' to track him down.

Little rat used to wear mirrors on his shoes in the playground.

Looking up under my dress.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Alright, this time try it happy.

Wassup, Synclaire?

Aaron reconceptualized the play.

He made a very interesting costume change.

Oh, well, if you don't like the wardrobe just accessorize.

Some pearls and a purse makes a world of difference.

I'd need a whole lot of pearls and a mighty big purse.

So, what does he want you to wear?

Nothing.

You, you gonna be naked?

Synclaire, I'm asking you this because I love you.

You're not gonna be dancing in a cage

or nothin' like that, are you?

Of course not.

My character represents purity in this technocratic society.

Her nudity is essential to the play.

So what's the big deal?

My character looks a lot like me in the nude.

Oh, please. It's no big deal.

I've gone to a lotta nude beaches, this is no different.

Yeah, but you don't have 50 people starin' at you

with their mouths wide open.

Speak for yourself.

I don't know what to do?

This is gonna be a hard one for you, Khadijah.

Uh‐ah, no, it's not. This is your decision.

Yeah, what's running through my mind is

what did Overton have to say?

I haven't seen him yet. I'm sure he'll understand.

Hell, no!

I don't want your special gifts on display

for every Tom, Dick or Rahim.

I know.

One of the messages of the play is that clothing is artificial.

Not if you wear all cotton.

I'm so confused.

If I wanna be an actor and the part calls for nudity

who am I to say no?

Overton's girlfriend.

Obie, I'm not totally comfortable with it either

but isn't this part of the commitment

I've made to my craft?

Oh, hey, I'm a craftsman too

but you don't see me usin' my ratchet in the raw, do you?

Alright, Obie, if you really don't want me to do it.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

I'm man of the 90s, I'm much too savvy

to fall into that trap.

Gee, if I say no, you'll resent me for the rest of your life.

If I say yep, then you catch a cold and it's still my fault.

Oh, no, girly, this decision is yours.

You're not gonna help me with this, are you?

Oh, sure I will.

I'll be behind you no matter what you do.

Now, if you'll excuse me

I'm gonna go down to my workshop and make a sign that says.

"Upon entering the theater

please leave all photographic equipment with the handyman."

Aaron, how do I put this?

There's no way on God's green Earth

I'm gonna show my tatas on stage.

Now, let me explain what I've done

with the ballet sequence.

You will pirouette, arabesque, and leap, landing here.

‐ So, we're loosing the split. ‐ Hm‐hm.

[chuckles] Aaron, you're a genius.

Synclaire, you're not supposed to be here for another hour.

Well, I‐I want to talk to you.

Oh, you guys have got to be my most dedicated actors.

You know, that's the kinda commitment that separates

the wannabes from the gonnabes. You two rule.

Fat man, why don't you stretch

while I talk to Synclaire?

So, uh, what's up?

Aaron.

You, I believe you are an extraordinary director

and I respect your work deeply.

Ditto.

You know, that's why I gave you the pivotal moment.

Because I know you can carry it.

Oh, gee, it's not so much me

as a gift that comes through me.

Man, I can't wait for tomorrow night.

You know, we are gonna show that audience

something they rarely see.

Maybe not. Ha ha ha.

What I'm trying to say, Aaron, is that I fee‐‐.

You know what? Wait till you see these really cool posters.

Check it out.

'"ATM. No Funds Available.'

Featuring, Synclaire James."

Why, I've never been featured before.

My name is so big.

What time do you want me here tomorrow night?

‐ 6:30, sharp. ‐ I'm there.

Aaron, question.

Who's going to lift me?

Alright, Regine, curtain goes up at 8 o'clock

let's get a move on.

[knocking]

Vinnie!

Well, you can hey‐ho your ass right out the building.

Khadijah, that was "Naughty by Nature."

Treach!

Hi, Naughty. I am too. Won't you come in please.

Khadijah, how you just go and slam the door on my face.

I knew he wasn't still tight with her.

Braggin' about knowin' some big magazine publisher. Yeah.

So, so, Treach.

What are your plans for the evening?

Hmm. Nothin' much, just a little..

Ooh, it's, uh

too freaky for me, excuse me.

Oh, come on, Khadijah.

I came as soon as I figured out what happened at the hotel.

It was that silly clerk, told me it was some groupie

stalkin' me, named Cathedral Jones.

Cathedral Jones?

Isn't that the girl who did those scrap movies in the 70s?

Look, first of all, your mother owes my dog an apology.

Alright, cool. It's‐it's done, It's done.

Secondly, the reason I'm going through all of this..

I really need an interview and some photos for "Flavor."

Alright, we'll handle that too. Anything for you.

Cathedral.

Hey, Nay‐Nay.

Get him out of my house.

We sure got a big Vin Fan Club in here.

Vinnie, I got one question for you.

Hm‐mm?

Why did you make me eat flies?

Listen, listen, I was just a kid and it was the only way

I could think of to let you know that I liked you.

Yeah, well..

You must've really liked Wanda Richardson

you made her eat a caterpillar.

Check it out, babe, you see, he's the smoothest player

out of the three of us here.

So, so, so, so.

[chuckles]

Listen, um..

Would you guys like to go to a play with us?

Khadijah's cousin is starring in it.

Hmm, thanks, but we really don't have the time.

‐ She's going to be naked. ‐ Whoa!

‐ We can carve out an hour. ‐ Two.

Alright, alright. Hey‐ho. Ha ha.

There, your face is done.

And these are the only cheeks I'm doin'.

Aww, there's my little theater moss.

Oh, Obie, I wasn't sure you'd come.

Oh, I wasn't sure either, but I figured since you

gonna be topless, you might need a little extra support.

Thank you. They're beautiful.

Yep. You can either put 'em in a vase or wear them.

Pretty much your choice.

Synclaire, this is nothing like a nude beach

even I couldn't do this. Good luck.

You know, I'm really proud of you.

You are really showing me what you're made of.

'Course, you're showing that crowd out there too.

But, you know, rock on with your bad self.

Synclaire, Synclaire, when I tread the boards

while I was in college

I had the occasional bout of stage fright.

So, I'd just imagine the audience in their underwear.

However, in this case, maybe you should imagine yourself

in your underwear.

Anyway, break a leg. Alright?

Okay.

Okay, everybody, places. Curtain in five minutes.

I am so stoked!

Hey, you okay, my little showstopper?

I'm so nervous, I'm shaking.

Oh, well. Don't shake too much.

You are here to inform and entertain. Not titillate.

When my camera is disposable..

What will ever develop?

You know, actually, Vincent

this is a fascinating examination

of societal values.

You know, I disagree, treacherous one.

This is nothing we haven't seen before.

I think Synclaire's big moment is comin' up.

Shorty, look away.

As agreed.

[panting]

No!

No funds available?

I'm zeroed out.

I have nothing.

Therefore, I am nothing.

Alright, you guys lead, I'll follow.

(Synclaire) Greed strips us of everything. More ATMs inside.

[camera clicking]

Was that Synclaire?

I just recognized her voice.

I didn't know she could run that fast.

(Synclaire) 'More ATMs inside.'

We should all go... inside.

[applause]

Is it over?

I believe so.

Oh, bravo!

Delightful!

Delightful!

[applause continues]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]