Original subtitles

Maxine, I question‐‐.

No, ah. I am not covering your ass again for it.

Are we a team?

Alright, what is it?

People v. Falcon. The defendant is charged with possession

with intent to sell. He had no drugs on his person

but he did have powder all over his shoe.

If one were to mention plea bargaining

your feeling would be along the‐‐

‐ No way. ‐ That's my feeling exactly.

And if I were to refer to a president, I might‐‐.

People v. Ricky.

‐ Get out of my head. ‐ Get out of my face.

People, people.

Now, I just stopped down to introduce you

to your new supervisor, Preston August.

And now, folks, we're really lucky to have him.

So please, don't give him any ulcers, migraines

hives or facial ticks.

It's good to see you again, Maxine.

♪ We are living single ♪

♪ Oh, and in a 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life gets tough you got a fight with ♪

♪ My home girls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue, it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living single ♪

Obie, you put these in my pile, but they're yours.

Oh, I know that, I was kinda of hoping you'd wear em' later.

Oh, well. Ignore that red laced bra in your pile

there's no message there.

Hello, people.

Seeing you wheel around that trolley reminds me

of my uncle, Levi. 'Course he was transporting coffins

but the technique is very similar.

Khadijah, I'm here to pick up my 150 copies of Flavor.

Well, you're a day early. It doesn't come out until tomorrow.

Khadijah, women in New York are holding their breath

awaiting the story you did on moi.

Well, tell them to exhale.

It's only a picture and a paragraph.

Yeah, Kyle, you're one of a bunch of men profile.

Yes, but the others will simply recede into the background

once the women get a load of me.

It's called the Barker effect, yeah.

Yes, scientists been working round the clock to find a cure.

Yeah!

Khadijah, I've begged you not to put him in your magazine.

But no, you just had to do it, he already cleared

off a whole wall for his press clip.

Even took down my diploma and my graduate polaroid

from the DeVry institute.

I earned that!

You two went shopping together?

No, Max ran into me outside and is helping with my bags.

How come? That's not food.

Can't I help a friend?

Did you get with one of your boy toys at lunch, today?

No, I did not.

I did however run into an old friend.

‐ Ah‐ha. I knew it was a man. ‐ Whoo!

For a minute I thought she was setting me up

for a practical joke.

So Max, who did you run into?

You remember him.

Preston August.

Is that the guy you spent all your beads on at Club Med?

No, no. That was Augustedo, he had only one name.

Preston August the attorney, I met a couple of years ago

on that ski trip, yes.

Oh, yeah. You'll really hit it off.

Yes, it was only repeated and mind numbing sex

that kept me from falling in love.

‐ So where did you see him? ‐ At my office.

He's my new boss.

‐ Oh, girl. You in danger. ‐ Oh, please.

It's not about that.

But still, you got to work for somebody you've seen naked.

Now that's distracting.

Yeah, how do you think I feel

every time I see Overton change a light bulb. Uff.

Well, it's not about that.

It's just nice to be working with someone that I respect.

Girl, I know you since freshmen year, you lying.

Okay, when I was with Preston, it was good.

But that's in the past. This time it's strictly business.

Mm‐mm. So when you two getting together?

Tomorrow night.

Khadijah, girl, good choice on

the guy you picked for number eight.

But number 27, who did you owe a favor?

Regine this was not a beauty contest.

But look at number 34. He is fine.

Mm‐mm. If only you could just turn that picture over.

‐ See other side. ‐ I second that.

You know, it's comforting to know that

when there are no men around, you women can be

just as raunchy as we are.

It is a bit disheartening to realize that right now

you ladies seem to think, there are no men around.

Check out Kyle trying to look all GQ.

Oh, I didn't know he was volunteer for.

The International Red Cross.

Oh, he gave blood all over Europe.

He was a travelling student and he did it so

he could get free punch and cookies.

Here's another interesting tit‐bit about Kyle.

It says here he's married with two children and one on the way.

What the devil!

You think you know someone.

I can't believe, I missed this.

Somebody else's bio must have got tacked onto Kyle's.

Oh, Khadijah, he'll be so in love with his picture

he probably won't even notice.

Mm, I wouldn't be so sure. Kyle prides himself on two things

his bachelorhood and his ability

to raise one eyebrow independently over the other.

[knock on door]

Hey, hey, alright. Where is it? Where is it?

‐ Why you gave it to him. ‐ He asked.

Oh, the camera loves me.

Oh, good you got the Red Cross thing in.

Right about now.

Khadijah, in the name of all that is holy

what have you done to me?

It must've happened at the printers, I'm sorry, Kyle.

I will print a retraction in next month's issue.

Next month?

An eternity, Khadijah.

Do you realize what will happen, when the dozens of women

with whom I've an exclusive relationship.

Read that I'm married with two children.

And one on the way.

I‐I don't know what to say.

I‐I'm without words. I‐I'm speechless.

I am bereft of utterances.

So Kyle... if that's your real name.

What's the little lady cooking for supper, tonight?

[soft music]

We can not just throw people's right to do process away.

No, I'm sorry but the public defenders office has been

plea bargaining way to much.

There are lot of attorneys out there, too concerned

with getting it done. No, no.

See, I'm concerned with getting done right.

Yes, yes, yes. Finally someone who agrees with me.

Oh, we can bring a whole new energy to the office.

Well, we always did see eye to eye.

Oh‐ho, okay.

You know, I can't believe that it's been two years

since I mowed you down at that ski slope.

You do make quite a first impression, you know?

I thought a lot about you since then.

[sighs]

Strange how we... lost touch.

Yes. Now look at us.

Practically working on top of each other. I mean, you know..

Together.

Yeah, but... this time no ski boots.

No room service.

No zebra skin rug.

No rug burn.

You made thawin' out fun.

And you made gettin' warm even better.

Waiter.

Check, please.

As you all know, the district attorney has promised

to eliminate prostitution in New York.

Again?

Sorry, I'm late. My heel got stuck in a manhole cover.

And I had to wait for the city to come out with a crowbar.

Again.

There's no need to apologize.

The important thing is you're here.

Well, since the DA is going to pushing for convictions

I'm pleased to say that we're going to spending time in court.

Now, I've divvy'd up the case load

and we're working on these in teams.

Here's the list of assignments.

Fred, you and Shirley.

Max, you'll be working with me.

Ah, sir? Not that I mind in the least working

with my esteemed colleague, Mrs. Catsun Baum.

But was there any particular strategy or technique

you used to decide who would be working with whom?

‐ I'm just curious. ‐ Nope, random.

Random. Okay, good. Thank you.

Well, if there are no further questions. Let's get to it.

I feel like I'm wearing a sign that says.

"Just slept with co‐worker."

At least your pantyhose aren't on backwards.

I got dressed in record time this morning.

‐ Yeah, but you look perfect. ‐ Thank you, so do you.

Oh, Max. We're in some pretty dangerous territory here.

I know, I know. Office romance is almost always failed.

And if doesn't work out, we still gonna have to work here.

This is a no win situation. We must stop before it gets deep.

There you go. And in a few weeks we'll look back on this

and think, "Hey, we made the right choice."

I'm feelin' it already. No offence but you're not all that.

‐ Thank you. ‐ Yes.

Come here, baby.

Ah, I think, we're both mature enough to handle this.

Hmm. Most definitely.

[knock on door]

(Fred) 'Mr. August, uh, did I leave my day runner in there?'

Well, Khadijah.

Thanks to you and your yellow journalism

everybody thinks that I am married.

I can not buy a date in this town, girl.

For $40, Synclaire and I will go out with you.

But if you don't call us the next day, we'll be so hurt.

Look, Kyle, if you're having problems with these women

I will talk to them and set them straight.

I was hoping, you'd say that. LaDonna Martin

a woman of great beauty and short‐temper is on hold.

Hi, this is Khadijah James, publisher of 'Flavor'.

I just wanted to set you straight on this whole thing

Kyle is not married, he's very single.

Who are you calling a liar?

Let me somethin', Kyle has more women than you can count.

He don't need you. That's right.

With LaDonna taken care of, who else you need me to talk to?

This is unbelievable.

I mean, Kyle Barker without a woman.

It's apocalypse now.

Oh, cheer up, shorty. You've had droughts before.

No, no, no. Correction. I have taken a dating hiatus before.

This‐this is uncharted territory, I don't know.

Then, let me suggest that you curl up with a good book.

I recommend C. J. Rollins', Tools, Power Tools

and Battery Operated Mechanisms.

Look here, I dare you, I dare you to read the chapter on.

"The rise of the mighty Phillips Head."

And not be moved.

Well, Kyle, as it so happens, I'm free tonight.

Take me to the Rainbow Room

and I'll help you keep up appearances.

Oh, this is truly a low point in my social life.

A platonic dinner.

Well, go, go, get dressed. Go.

Now, let's see what to wear.

I need something that says, "I'm with him but it's a favor."

Hey, Kyle, shouldn't you be at home with the wife

practicing Lamaze?

Hey, Maxine, shouldn't you be at home cooking Hansel and Gretel?

Tell Regine I'll be back in an hour.

Hey, girl. What's up? I ain't seen you for a few days.

Well, you know the life of a public defender, work, work.

Yes. How is Preston?

The best.

I see him at work, I seen him after work, I've seen him later.

This is gettin' deep for you.

Dare we use the "L" word?

Absolutely. I really like him.

Oh, Max, you're so lucky.

I would love to have Obie with me at work at Flavor.

You already spend half your time talking to him on the phone.

Yeah, but then I wouldn't get that nasty rash in my ear.

Oh, that's real sweet, my little fruity pebble.

But I got a strict policy against

mixing business with pleasure.

Have we learnt nothing from the tragic saga

of Tom Roseanne Arnold.

Well, maybe, working together is a problem for others.

But Preston and I are professionals.

Isn't this cute?

Preston won this for me today at Coney Island.

But you hate Coney Island.

Isn't that funny?

Preston hates it too but we had a great time.

Look, not that I don't trust your judgment but..

Do you know what the hell you doin'?

Khadijah, I've got it all under control.

I can have a man and I can have my work.

And I can have my man and my work.

What is all that?

Alright. Today I had a little bit too much man

and not enough work.

Hey, Khadijah, Khadijah.

I have changed my mind, I do not want you to print that retraction.

Man, I can't believe, you'd stoop this low.

What are you up to, Kyle?

Because of your libelous remarks

I've reached dating heights even I never dreamed of.

I'm tellin' you, I've become a magnet for those women

who that non‐committed feel of a married man.

You are going to burn, Kyle.

Khadijah, there are a lot of very troubled women out there.

And some of them very beautiful.

For three dollars a minute, they'll love you all you want.

I can't believe, you're goin' take advantage like this.

Wait, it is they who are taking advantage.

I am a married man.

[phone ringing]

Oh, there's a needy one now.

I feel so used.

Hello?

Sharon, I told you never to call me on this line.

Suppose my wife would've picked it up, huh?

You know, Vanelle is not a stupid woman.

Yes. I'll call you later. Bye‐bye.

[giggling]

You know, shorty, I hope Vanelle gets half of everything you got.

This tastes better than the usual stuff.

Yeah, it's Preston's special blend.

‐ Oh. ‐ I wonder what's in it.

Kenyan rose and Jamaican blue mountain.

I know my third world coffees. Ha‐ha.

Hmm, hmm, hmm.

He can grind my coffee beans anytime.

He's handsome and single. I wonder if has a girlfriend.

Oh, I hear he has a very jealous girlfriend.

That, "waits for you to come out of your house so"

"she can run you down with your car" kind of girlfriend.

Oh, I wonder if she knows

that his assistant is in there with him all the time.

Just taking..

(together) Dictation.

And with the recent cuts in federal funding I‐‐

I have to talk to you.

Gail, would you excuse us?

Well, certainly.

I will just get a cup of your delicious coffee.

Open or close?

What is it, Maxine?

Well, for starters, she spends way too much time in here.

She's my secretary.

Oh, and how convenient that she's a woman. Ho‐ho.

I cannot believe that you're jealous.

You're the one with all the men buzzin' around you.

Fred Meyer.

Fred Meyer is a dork.

So? I saw the way he was checkin' you out in that suit.

And if he wasn't lookin', he was thinkin' about lookin'

That's ridiculous.

So is the notion that I have any interest in my assistant.

Oh, please. She did not start wearing that wonderbra

until you came along.

Well, you see, that's because I felt that her cleavage

wasn't pronounced enough. So I suggested she go buy one.

In fact, I went with her to buy it.

In fact, we went to pick it out together

walking hand in hand through Bra World.

And why did you have to bring your special coffee beans

in here, gettin' the women all worked up?

Vonwel Diaz never got so much attention.

Well, I feel like an idiot, how about you?

Yeah.

Truth is..

I find it really difficult being your lover and your boss.

I mean... I've seen you in a G‐string.

Frankly, I'm seein' you in that G‐string... now.

How do I look? Oh, nevermind.

Ah, honestly, I can't concentrate either.

This morning when the judge called us in to chambers

I didn't hear a single word.

Doggone!

This is not going to work, is it?

I don't see how.

Well, maybe, you can get another job.

Maxine, I just got here.

Well, I can't move on. I had to get arrested to get this gig.

I don't want either one of us to leave.

Well, then I guess we don't have any options.

It's too bad we can't ski for a living.

We'll always have warming hut three.

In that perfect mid‐night sleigh ride.

You know, if we're goin' make a clean break of this

I'm really going to have to hate you.

Okay.

I'll partner you with Fred.

That helps.

And I want these cases checked, prepped and on my desk

first thing in the morning, 8 a. M. Sharp.

You know, you are becoming a real jerk.

And I appreciate it.

Hi. My name is Kyle Barker.

Can I buy you a drink?

Oh, this?

Yes, it is a wedding ring and yes, I am married.

But can we not talk about it.

My wife's a very troubled woman.

You know, if it hadn't been for little Joey

we would've divorced a long time ago.

God, that kid means everything to me.

If there was just some safe harbor

from this storm of loneliness I..

You know, a man has needs and..

So, how about that drink, huh?