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1
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Previously on Californication...
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I can't believe
you made me get a vasectomy.
3
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,553
- What do you know about it?
- I know you fucked and punched him,
4
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,352
set him up, stole his book.
5
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,913
What are you gonna do about it, huh?
6
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,316
- You guys are officially back together?
- Until we fuck it up.
7
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:17,510
We're going to this party
up in Laurel Canyon.
8
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,635
- My mama!
- What the fuck?
9
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,478
I leave you alone for two seconds!
You're not supposed to do that!
10
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,590
- What are you doing?
- Assuming the posish.
11
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,278
I'll be right back.
12
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,868
Dude, this fucking perv
just tried to mouth-rape me!
13
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:40,909
I accidentally went down on her.
14
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,598
How do you accidentally
go down on someone?
15
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,230
- Have you been drinking, sir?
- Hours ago.
16
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:46,429
Out of the car.
17
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,835
You just mind your own fucking business!
18
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:51,794
No!
19
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:11,515
Silent treatment?
20
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:12,913
Yes.
21
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,871
- How long?
- Hard to say.
22
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,639
Think we can skip the part
where I apologise profusely
23
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,796
and tell you what a lame parental figure
I am?
24
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,432
No.
25
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,189
- I'm sorry.
- I know. Me too.
26
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,037
Why are you sorry?
27
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,310
Because we're not bailing you out.
28
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,954
- You're shitting me.
- I shit you not.
29
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Mom says you should use this time to think.
30
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About what?
How much my balls ache?
31
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:39,992
What about Mom's heart?
32
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,190
Don't you think that aches a bit, too?
33
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,439
Touché, daughter.
34
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,236
Check it out. You're on Defamer.
35
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,754
- That's a pretty good picture.
- I thought so.
36
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,439
- I'll work on her.
- OK.
37
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:13,109
In the meantime,
don't bend over for the soap.
38
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,556
- What's the occasion?
- Do we need an occasion?
39
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,272
Life is good. Business is better.
40
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,880
Let's party while this bitch can still get wet.
41
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,319
You guys are great together.
42
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,920
Baby, tonight we are kickin' it old-school.
43
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,520
Condoms, coke and lobster claws.
44
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:17,959
Meet me after work.
45
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,318
I reserved our favourite room.
46
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,272
- Marce...
- Don't "Marce" me, short bus.
47
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,914
Turn over. I got to get your tail.
48
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,798
You sure you don't want me
to step outside?
49
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,831
Please. I've had way grosser dudes
than you
50
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,599
staring into the business end
of my cooter all day long.
51
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,870
- Porn!
- Thanks. Got it.
52
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,310
- How's that working for you?
- I don't know. I mean, I love it. I do.
53
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,432
But I'm just not getting
the kind of jobs I really want.
54
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:48,155
You got to be careful. One wrong move
and you end up the ass-licker.
55
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,316
I'm loathe to ask.
56
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,158
You're watching some porn
with two girls and a guy.
57
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,713
One girl, she's clearly the star.
58
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,558
But the other one, she ends up
tonguing the dude's balloon knot
59
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,989
while he fucks the shit
out of the leading lady.
60
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,953
That's what I'm afraid of.
Chocolate-starfish duty.
61
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,468
Come on, you're far too pretty
for such things.
62
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,158
- You really think so?
- I do.
63
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,668
You could cross over, go mainstream.
I've seen it happen.
64
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:11,994
Don't tell her that.
65
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,077
Don't fill her pretty little head
full of Hollywood bullshit.
66
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,315
She does what she does,
and she's good at it.
67
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,554
That's the secret.
68
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,751
You find your fucking niche,
and you stick to it.
69
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,997
Like me. I could branch out.
I could diversify.
70
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,793
But, no, I wax hairy tacos.
71
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,991
Maybe I bleach an asshole or two.
That's my thing.
72
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,508
One wrong move,
you end up the ass-licker.
73
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,791
Words to live by. Give me some.
74
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,993
Yeah, Charlie Runkle.
75
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,510
Yeah. No, he's not in a meeting.
He hates meetings. Come on.
76
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,437
Try his cell. No, don't hang up.
77
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,234
Listen, tell him Hank Moody called.
Tell him they set bail.
78
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,952
Just...
79
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:56,511
One more. I'm trying to reach my agent.
Come on.
80
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,438
Maybe you should think
about new representation, homey.
81
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,111
Everybody's a fucking comedian.
82
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,839
What the fuck?
83
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,114
What?
84
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,071
You touched my ass.
85
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,030
Not my thing, man. Trust me.
86
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:28,232
My sweet, sexy ass, and you touched it.
87
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,279
Can't say I blame ya.
88
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,390
What are you on? I want some.
89
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,470
Now you're looking at it.
90
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,954
Not giving me a lot of choice in the matter,
are you?
91
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,991
Thing of beauty, ain't it?
92
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,952
This nice, white,
mick-kraut ass of mine.
93
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,912
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.
94
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,239
Coming in on the gate!
95
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,833
You. I know you.
96
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:20,749
Last night.
97
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,473
The whole cunnilingus switcheroo incident.
98
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,954
- Right.
- Mouth rape.
99
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,471
That chick, stone freak.
100
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,192
I ended up banging these other two.
101
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,232
She flips out, calls the cops,
and cries "domestic abuse".
102
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,795
I'm pretty sure I never laid a hand on her.
103
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,634
- Lew Ashby.
- Hank Moody.
104
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,714
The writer?
105
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,399
- So, how's the script coming?
- Really good.
106
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,432
I don't see what the big deal is.
Screenplays are easy.
107
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,516
What's hard is adapting your own work.
108
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,790
Sure, sure. I would imagine.
109
00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,115
I bet you just look at those pages
sometimes
110
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,470
and have no idea
where all that brilliance came from.
111
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:07,513
You know, as one of my agents, I would
think you'd be a whole lot nicer to me.
112
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,835
- I would think so, too.
- You know what, ladies?
113
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,872
Just don't gang-bang up on me, OK?
Please.
114
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,957
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you,
you sweaty, little perv?
115
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,678
I've got a meeting.
116
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,000
Good luck. Just be yourself.
117
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,999
- A little cleavage is always good.
- Done... and done.
118
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,076
Don't you have a school
to attend somewhere?
119
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:31,317
If it's all the same to you,
I'd rather sit down with David Fincher.
120
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,920
Word of advice,
if he's about to come, just let him come.
121
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,235
Don't punch the poor guy in the face.
122
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,349
Dick.
123
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,433
What's your problem?
124
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,914
- She's an important client.
- Not to me.
125
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,552
Well, she is to me and the agency.
126
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:51,230
She is everything that's wrong with
Hollywood right now, much like yourself.
127
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,238
- How the mighty have fallen.
- What's that supposed to mean?
128
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,555
You've gone soft, Charlie.
129
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,353
You lost that killer instinct
I used to admire so much.
130
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,039
I see. You've been an agent now
for three whole months?
131
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,117
- You got it all figured out now?
- I love what I do. I know that much.
132
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:09,278
Blackmailing your way into a career
doesn't make you a good agent.
133
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,231
No, just a successful one.
134
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,032
I'm sorry I ever spanked you.
135
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,356
I'm not.
136
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,438
I miss you, boss.
137
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,434
I miss our little...
138
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,072
play dates.
139
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:37,998
Wrong move, Charlie.
140
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,191
Wow, you are just totally
bat-shit crazy now, aren't you?
141
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,069
A year from now...
142
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:49,238
when you're selling BMWs in the Valley,
remember this moment.
143
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,111
I've had enough of this, all right?
144
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,594
It's time I have a little chat
with our president.
145
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,428
He's had his share of psycho-hosebag
assistants. I think he's gonna have my back!
146
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,232
Don't go there, Charlie.
147
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:04,400
Instead, maybe it's time to think about
doing something different with your skill set.
148
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:05,589
What about producing?
149
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,950
The only thing I'd like to produce right now
is a fist up your ass.
150
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,560
Once upon a time,
I might have taken you up on that.
151
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,032
Good luck, boss.
152
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,556
You got a lot of fans
in the music business.
153
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,272
Yeah?
154
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:28,279
Your writing always had this
in-your-face, rock 'n' roll energy to it.
155
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,517
Hunter S. Thompson
meets a lost Stooges album.
156
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:34,677
God Hates Us All. That was your Gatsby.
157
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,518
- What happened to you, man?
- What happened to me?
158
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,474
I came out here from New York
to fight the good fight.
159
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,557
- I lost. This fucking city happened to me.
- Please.
160
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,149
All you haters can go fellate yourselves.
Always whining about L.A.,
161
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,988
and how New York is like a holy land.
Well, go the fuck... Move back there.
162
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:56,431
The sheer amount of talent in this town,
any given time, mind-boggling.
163
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,550
That caveman over there,
farting in his sleep,
164
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,070
one of the greatest rock 'n' roll
guitar players of all time.
165
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:07,149
I got... I got this book deal.
166
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,876
They wanna write about
why everything I touch turns to gold,
167
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,638
platinum, zirconium, or some such shit.
168
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:16,116
FSG is trying to push
these dweeby Rolling Stone writers on me.
169
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,318
You write it.
170
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,191
Be my Boswell.
171
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:25,028
Slow down there, charm school.
I don't put out on a first date.
172
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:28,550
I'm not trying to put it in your pail, buddy.
I got instincts about these things.
173
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,397
Yeah, but I'm one of the haters.
174
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,273
I'm actually doing something about it.
I'm moving back to Mecca.
175
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,753
Bullshit. You're not going anywhere.
176
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,268
You took a swing at a cop.
You need a fuckin' lawyer.
177
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,311
- Ashby.
- A good lawyer is everything.
178
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,429
I got a great one.
179
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,474
- Good hanging with you, Moody.
- Ashby.
180
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,590
Get writing again. Peace.
181
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,232
Thank you.
182
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,432
OK, look, I know I'm supposed
to be like a sister here,
183
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,153
but it's not like he did it on purpose.
184
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:09,194
Sonja, you slept with the father of my child
in my very own bed,
185
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:10,593
then you vomited all over it.
186
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,029
I would never accuse you of being a sister.
187
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,992
- You hooked me up with him, so...
- What the fuck was I thinking?
188
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,235
I'm sorry about the comforter.
189
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,554
You ready?
190
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:20,794
For what?
191
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:22,715
My pitch.
192
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,513
What, are you peddling screenplays now,
or...
193
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,039
Oh, God. No, no, no.
194
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,197
I think we should go into business together.
195
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,276
I'm flattered, really.
196
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:36,518
Thank you, but this is kind of a hard time
for me right now.
197
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,755
The house is on the market,
198
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,997
- and I'm interviewing for jobs in New York.
- How would you feel...
199
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,873
about restoring
an original Lautner house with me?
200
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,992
- Don't fuck with me.
- I'm not.
201
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,474
I'm bidding on one tomorrow.
202
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,829
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
203
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,878
I got some things to say to you.
204
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,593
Some of it ugly, some of it embarrassing,
but all of it true.
205
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,200
I am not going down without a fight.
206
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,553
So, what?
207
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:31,394
You gonna shit-can 15 years' experience
cos a guy messes up one time?
208
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,630
OK, that's it!
209
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:03,832
I'm ankling! Runkle is ankling!
210
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,038
OK, Becca, dinner.
211
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,393
What are you up to, young lady?
212
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:23,193
How long are you going
to let my father rot in jail?
213
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:30,549
I know this is hard for you,
but your father has to understand
214
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,068
that there are consequences
to his actions, OK?
215
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:37,591
He can't just go around saying and doing
exactly what he wants at all times.
216
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,870
I mean, you get that, right?
217
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:44,752
Hi.
218
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,430
- What's this?
- Galley proofs.
219
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,916
Before you humiliated my father
on his wedding night,
220
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:54,350
you promised to read my book.
High time I collect, don't you think?
221
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,118
You're right. I did and I will.
222
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,593
I want to read it.
223
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:02,109
I think this one might be
a little too NC-17 for you, Juno.
224
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,752
What are you talking about?
225
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,792
If I've read all my father's books,
I'm sure I can handle yours.
226
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,392
Where is the esteemed author
this evening?
227
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,431
In the big house.
228
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,597
Jail. He's in jail.
229
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,993
- No shit. What did he do?
- I'm not allowed to know.
230
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,635
Because I don't want to turn you off men
for the rest of your life.
231
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:25,874
What are we gonna do?
232
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,309
Shouldn't we be calling Chico's Bail Bonds
or something?
233
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,237
Mom thinks he needs time to think.
234
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,633
He does need time.
235
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,399
What if, while he's thinking,
some Cholo tosses his salad?
236
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,429
Mia...
237
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,677
- What does that mean?
- Nothing good.
238
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,678
I got to say, I don't approve
of this course of action.
239
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,632
For all of his faults,
Hank's a lover, not a fighter.
240
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,433
The man is far too pretty for jail, Mom.
241
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,710
What if he's someone's bitch right now?
242
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,830
Instead of being yours.
243
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,599
That is not fair... or nice.
244
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,312
He is who he is, Mom.
245
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,999
You knew that when you jumped
into the car with us.
246
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:03,794
If you're worried you made a mistake,
that's not his fault.
247
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:08,709
You have to love him for who he is,
not his potential.
248
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,750
No, no, no, sweetie.
249
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,792
Shit. Could you watch her?
250
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,751
Sure. Where you going?
251
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,472
To bail him out,
252
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:28,514
because that is
the infuriating magic of Hank.
253
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,711
You can never stay mad at him
for very long.
254
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,991
I'll be back... with the Hank.
255
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,675
Dude, you ate the wrong pussy.
That's all there is to it.
256
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,109
That shit is fucked up.
257
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,469
- Beyond fucked up.
- Fuck!
258
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,034
If I got caught munching the wrong rug,
259
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,310
the warden would go
Lorena Bobbitt on my ass.
260
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,078
My sweet, sexy ass.
261
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,917
Moody, you're out of here.
262
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,596
Gentlemen... Lady... It's been a slice.
263
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,471
Let's keep in touch.
264
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,589
You?
265
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,349
- That's right, motherfucker.
- Why the fuck would you bail me out?
266
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:13,509
Why the fuck not?
267
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,518
- That's mighty white of you.
- Hey, it's only money.
268
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,596
Now you got to drink with me.
269
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,791
I hate to seem unappreciative,
but I got some girls back home
270
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,116
who deserve the full-court press on
this one, so I'm gonna have to pass.
271
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,391
Come on, one drink,
and then I'll drop you off. One.
272
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,079
Come on. Yes!
273
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,997
Silence is a "yes".
274
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,671
My balls.
275
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:53,714
Take a whiff. Smell the history.
This was Led Zeppelin's table.
276
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,718
Jimmy fucking Page
used to get under-the-table oral
277
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,557
from Miss Pamela right here.
278
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,398
I bet you could still scrape
some of his DNA off the floor.
279
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,874
First album I ever bought
with my own money, Zeppelin ll.
280
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,036
You had good taste.
Mine was Captain & Tennille.
281
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,390
- I was a homo until I heard the hard stuff.
- Indeed.
282
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,876
- Want a blowjob?
- I don't know. It might ruin the friendship.
283
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,831
Take your pick. I'll hook you up.
284
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,916
- Her? Her?
- No, I'm...
285
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,679
- Him?
- I'm good. I had a big breakfast.
286
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:24,919
- OK. You have a problem with blowjobs?
- Actually, I'm a big fan of the blowjob,
287
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,394
as long as she uses two hands
and doesn't meander too much.
288
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,908
I just have a woman at home
who might not appreciate
289
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,030
somebody else's lips
wrapped around my monkey.
290
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,833
I imagine she's still a little miffed
about the accidental muff dive?
291
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,836
- You would imagine correctly.
- Right.
292
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,074
Any...
293
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,953
.. tit-suckers?
294
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,991
Daughter. Rebecca.
295
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,679
She's magic. Plays guitar.
296
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,790
Loves the heavy metal.
Worships Satan.
297
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:52,356
Aw, shucks, you got yourself
a little famn-damily, Moody,
298
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,868
which is why you should write
my fuckin' book,
299
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,638
cos you need to provide for them.
300
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,638
You know what?
What am I gonna write about?
301
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,911
What, you were born a poor, black child,
and now you're an icon?
302
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,916
Everything you touch turns to gold?
303
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,951
No offence, but I need a bigger theme.
304
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,990
- Thanks, sweetheart.
- Any time.
305
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,917
- Job well done.
- Thank you.
306
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,233
Cool. Very cool.
307
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,710
Let's find ourselves a bigger theme.
308
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,715
Hang the fuckin' Pope!
309
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:43,793
You want some, Daddy?
310
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,991
I got to tell you something, Marce.
311
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:52,432
Marce? Marce!
I got to fuckin' tell you something, baby.
312
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,550
What? What do you got to tell me?
313
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,477
I love you.
314
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,796
Oh, I fuckin' love you, babe.
315
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,239
You want to fuck?
316
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,350
You could choke me if you want.
317
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,469
Just a little.
318
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,992
I don't know if I can do it anymore.
319
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,918
That's cool. Take it easy, baby. Slow down.
320
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,439
I won't bogey any of yours.
321
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,436
Not the blow! The job! Jesus Christ!
322
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,789
You got to listen to me once in a while!
323
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,515
OK! But what the fuck
are you talking about?
324
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,791
You love your job.
You were born to be a 10-percenter.
325
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,434
Babe, I got to get off the train.
It's fucking killing me.
326
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,313
You know what? Maybe I need to produce.
327
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:35,591
Fuck that, you fucking ass-licker.
328
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:36,868
You're not creative.
329
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,151
You haven't had an original thought
since the day we met,
330
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:41,838
which isn't a bad thing.
331
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,074
You need to sell.
332
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:46,192
It is what you do,
and you do the shit out of it.
333
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:50,756
But what if I couldn't? What if,
all of a sudden, I just fuckin' couldn't?
334
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,395
Like, if you ended up in a fuckin'
wheelchair, all tweaked and shit?
335
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:58,592
You're not fuckin' listening to me!
You never fuckin' listen to me!
336
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,439
I'm listening, baby. I'm right here.
337
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,719
What the fuck?
You're supposed to be taking me home.
338
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:19,038
I just thought I'd give you
a little something to put in your book.
339
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,794
We drove out here together
340
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,116
in a beat-to-shit Mustang
that didn't go in reverse anymore.
341
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,596
I was gonna be a guitar hero.
She was gonna design my stage clothes.
342
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:33,671
I ended up producing.
She ended up alone. All the time.
343
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,393
She wanted the house.
344
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,671
I wanted the freedom.
345
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,317
Sure as fuck got it.
346
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,669
Now I drink what I want,
347
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,314
snort what I want,
348
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,475
fuck what I want.
349
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,035
All I want is her.
350
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:59,432
- Let's go knock on her door.
- Fuck that.
351
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,112
Not nearly drunk enough for that.
352
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,038
- Thank you.
- For what?
353
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,832
Reminding me to call my old lady.
354
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,996
The one who didn't bail you out?
355
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,429
Probably what I dig most about her.
356
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,155
Karen?
357
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,559
Marcy?
358
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:19,993
What? Hold on a sec. What?
359
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,792
Is somebody crying?
360
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,355
Charlie's crying? What the...
You guys are fuckin' retarded.
361
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,674
What's up, Cokey Smurf?
362
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,280
He's saying shit about
not wanting to be an agent anymore.
363
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,471
- I didn't know what to do.
- You did the right thing, half-pint.
364
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,191
Hey, Runkle, open up!
365
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,071
Charlie, come on, let me in.
366
00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,269
Charlie?
367
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,237
Charlie?
368
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,679
Come on.
369
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,112
Charlie!
370
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,030
What the fuck, Runkle?
371
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:05,832
I got the axe today.
372
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,039
You got fired?
373
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,911
Why the fuck didn't you tell me?
374
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,997
I tried! You weren't fucking listening!
375
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,156
You never fucking
listen to me anymore!
376
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,715
Right, right, right!
I never listen to you! Got it!
377
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:19,829
- Asshole!
- Hold it!
378
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,598
Scarface, you're not helping.
379
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,471
Go elsewhere.
380
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,754
OK, big boy. Lay it on me.
381
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,231
Well, help yourself. Whatever.
382
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:48,196
They shit-canned my ass,
which makes total sense.
383
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,470
My heart wasn't in it anymore.
384
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,353
Well... that and the masturbation videos.
385
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,399
Do I even want to know?
386
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,670
It's sobering, Hank.
387
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,870
Seeing yourself make faces like that.
388
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,148
I hear you.
389
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,431
No man should ever have
to bear witness to his "oh" face.
390
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:06,469
Word.
391
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,911
Well, what's the worst that can happen?
392
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,076
You never work again in this town?
393
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,678
No! OK, look, no, no, sorry.
394
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,869
Sorry, sorry.
395
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,037
Let's cross that bridge
when we inevitably come to it.
396
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:24,473
OK? Look, but till then, it's me and you,
broheme. I'm with you through hill and dale,
397
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,272
- through hell and back.
- That's nice.
398
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,880
- I'm right behind you.
- But you don't bring in money.
399
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:33,038
Well, it just so happens,
Lew Ashby is out there right now.
400
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,116
Wants me to write his biography for him.
401
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:39,950
Really? That's a big deal. They've been
trying to put a writer on that for a while now.
402
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,230
You see that?
Things are looking up already.
403
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,714
You done with your bath there, King Dong?
404
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,348
Let's towel you off, big boy.
405
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,709
What's with the bib, bub? Come on.
406
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,113
I ate some crustaceans.
407
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,799
You look like you crawled out of a dumpster
behind the Red Lobster,
408
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,035
and you smell like a mermaid's ass crack.
409
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,238
Any points for saying "I'm sorry"
in a Romance language?
410
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,840
I don't know.
411
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,277
I'll think about it next time
I'm going down on the wrong guy.
412
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,195
Fair enough.
413
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,708
As long he's thin, bent,
and uncircumcised.
414
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,354
That's lovely.
415
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,238
Come to bed.
416
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:32,352
I'm sorry, baby.
417
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,910
I know. Me too.
418
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,240
I love you.
419
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,916
I love you too.
420
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,154
But what if that's not enough?
421
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,875
This is not very good pillow talk.
422
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,512
Oh, shut up.
423
00:26:03,513 --> 00:26:05,513
Rip: DevilsBackbone
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