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♪ light synth music ♪
2
00:00:03,553 --> 00:00:05,223
♪ singers harmonizing ♪
3
00:00:05,303 --> 00:00:07,853
♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪
4
00:00:07,929 --> 00:00:10,259
Previously,
on Black Monday...
5
00:00:10,345 --> 00:00:12,295
You borrowed money from actual
villains who will cripple us.
6
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,177
All you have to do is
keep Blair in the dark
7
00:00:14,261 --> 00:00:15,891
until he marries
that Georgina chick.
8
00:00:15,970 --> 00:00:17,300
- Hi there!
- I didn't hate
9
00:00:17,387 --> 00:00:18,507
your Blair plan; I hated
that you didn't tell me!
10
00:00:18,595 --> 00:00:19,845
How do you guys
get it done?
11
00:00:19,929 --> 00:00:20,929
I just don't feel like
there's enough
12
00:00:21,011 --> 00:00:22,301
- hours in the day.
- Cocaine.
13
00:00:22,387 --> 00:00:23,427
Should I try some?
14
00:00:23,512 --> 00:00:24,892
♪ intense music ♪
15
00:00:24,970 --> 00:00:26,600
You know what?
Fuck your dad!
16
00:00:26,679 --> 00:00:28,139
I would rather
fuck my father!
17
00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:30,850
I broke up with Tiff!
18
00:00:40,428 --> 00:00:42,178
♪ Bass ♪
19
00:00:42,261 --> 00:00:43,051
♪ Ooh ey ♪
20
00:00:44,595 --> 00:00:46,295
♪ Work ♪
21
00:00:46,387 --> 00:00:49,007
♪ Ooh, white lines ♪
22
00:00:49,095 --> 00:00:50,885
♪ Vision,
dreams of passion ♪
23
00:00:50,970 --> 00:00:53,350
♪ Blowin' through my mind ♪
24
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,508
♪ And all the while,
I think of you... ♪
25
00:00:55,595 --> 00:00:57,595
I'm not getting a real
"I made a huge mistake
26
00:00:57,679 --> 00:01:00,469
and I'm rushing back to
my fiancée" vibe off him.
27
00:01:00,553 --> 00:01:02,143
I mean, it's gonna be tough
to do the Georgina play
28
00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:04,550
- without the Georgina.
- Nah, it's fine.
29
00:01:04,637 --> 00:01:06,847
You know, it's--He's just
making cash for the first time.
30
00:01:06,929 --> 00:01:09,049
I mean, you remember
the moneymoon period, Dawn.
31
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:10,716
He'll get sick
of this shit.
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00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,144
- It's like when the nuns
33
00:01:12,220 --> 00:01:13,390
caught me smoking.
34
00:01:13,470 --> 00:01:15,140
They locked me in the closet.
35
00:01:15,220 --> 00:01:16,930
They made me smoke a whole
carton of cigarettes
36
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:18,141
till I didn't want another
fuckin' cigarette
37
00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:20,260
- as long as I lived.
- Hmm.
38
00:01:20,345 --> 00:01:22,385
- ♪ Ticket to ride... ♪
- Fuck this.
39
00:01:22,470 --> 00:01:24,220
It's been a month, Mo.
We gotta step in.
40
00:01:24,303 --> 00:01:26,103
No, no, no--he's gonna
get it outta his system.
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00:01:26,178 --> 00:01:27,598
Don't worry about it.
42
00:01:29,178 --> 00:01:31,048
- Come on, Blair.
- Come on.
43
00:01:31,136 --> 00:01:33,136
- Yeah. Ha. Hey, hey, kid.
- Oh, yeah--
44
00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:34,930
Guys he's gonna be okay?
45
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,971
Oh, good. You gave us
quite a scare, Blair!
46
00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:39,053
Hey, buddy,
I'd say being dead
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00:01:39,136 --> 00:01:40,636
for a song and a half
kinda qualifies
48
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,220
as hittin' rock bottom,
don't ya think?
49
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,223
Hey, maybe we should
call Tiff?
50
00:01:44,303 --> 00:01:45,183
- Let's call Tiff, buddy.
- Let's call her.
51
00:01:45,261 --> 00:01:46,511
Let's call her.
52
00:01:46,595 --> 00:01:49,295
Fuck that bitch.
53
00:01:53,261 --> 00:01:54,761
♪ Rang dang diggedy ♪
54
00:01:54,845 --> 00:01:55,755
♪ Dang di-dang ♪
55
00:01:57,053 --> 00:01:59,683
Okay. "Fuck that bitch"
isn't the best start,
56
00:01:59,762 --> 00:02:02,012
but Blair is a puss.
57
00:02:02,095 --> 00:02:03,965
Deep down,
he still loves Tiff.
58
00:02:04,053 --> 00:02:06,143
We just have to remind him of
that, and he'll take her back.
59
00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:07,640
I'm way ahead of you.
60
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,220
And these are...
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00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:11,223
Contestants
for the Manhattan Pageant.
62
00:02:11,303 --> 00:02:13,853
Jesus. Are you still
doing that dumb shit?
63
00:02:13,929 --> 00:02:15,889
Dawn, it's a venerable
Wall Street tradition
64
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,550
to auction off the most
eligible pit trader.
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00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,137
Look, just because
I moved upstairs
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00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,100
doesn't mean I forgot
where I came from.
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00:02:21,178 --> 00:02:22,548
It's a very
prestigious honor
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00:02:22,637 --> 00:02:24,007
to be asked to emcee
this thing, you know.
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00:02:24,095 --> 00:02:25,755
- You're emceeing?
- Hey,
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00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,715
well, when you set the all-time
auction record, baby...
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00:02:27,804 --> 00:02:29,394
By having a couple of
trick hos,
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00:02:29,470 --> 00:02:31,430
as in tricka-mo-niasis?
73
00:02:31,512 --> 00:02:33,432
get into a bidding war over you
with your money?
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00:02:33,512 --> 00:02:36,102
It's for charity!
The Afghani Mujahideen are
75
00:02:36,178 --> 00:02:38,098
in the fight for their lives
with these Russian bastards.
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00:02:38,178 --> 00:02:39,798
Fine, fine, fine.
What does this have to do with
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00:02:39,887 --> 00:02:41,257
getting Blair and Tiff
back together?
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00:02:41,345 --> 00:02:42,465
It is a honeypot, Dawn.
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00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:43,893
A honeypot?
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00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:46,680
Hogan's Heroes.
Classic con.
81
00:02:46,762 --> 00:02:49,262
Look, we just have to
convince Blair
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00:02:49,345 --> 00:02:51,545
that Tiff is dating
a newer, hotter guy.
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00:02:51,637 --> 00:02:53,547
He's gonna get jealous,
and he's gonna want her back.
84
00:02:53,637 --> 00:02:57,177
And there is no hotter guy
than Jackson Polack.
85
00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,431
Ha. Yeah, the traders
call him that
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00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,602
because he's Polish and he
splatter-painted half the town.
87
00:03:03,136 --> 00:03:04,716
Ehh. I get it.
88
00:03:04,804 --> 00:03:06,644
Face: ten.
Body: ten.
89
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,350
Brains: Polish joke.
90
00:03:08,428 --> 00:03:10,258
Exactly. Guy'll do
anything for a buck.
91
00:03:10,345 --> 00:03:11,755
- Foolproof.
92
00:03:11,845 --> 00:03:13,215
So your plan is foolproof
93
00:03:13,303 --> 00:03:14,603
because it worked
on a sit-com?
94
00:03:14,679 --> 00:03:16,639
Everything
works on a sit-com.
95
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,640
There's two different TV shows
with little black midgets
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00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,010
playing
rich white people's kids.
97
00:03:20,095 --> 00:03:21,465
- Come on!
98
00:03:21,553 --> 00:03:23,683
Can we just please
try it my way for once?
99
00:03:23,762 --> 00:03:26,432
Let's just talk to the kid
about the power of love.
100
00:03:26,512 --> 00:03:28,432
The Huey Lewis song?
How's that gonna help?
101
00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,222
Keith!
102
00:03:30,303 --> 00:03:32,143
Yo! What's up, boss?
103
00:03:32,220 --> 00:03:35,600
Is...so weird
calling a chick a boss.
104
00:03:35,679 --> 00:03:38,139
It's the weirdest thing
that's ever happened to me.
105
00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:40,680
Yeah, it's crazy.
Listen, I need you to take
106
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,222
these big payments
over to the Yakuza.
107
00:03:42,303 --> 00:03:43,643
Little behind on my loans.
108
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,640
Uh, Do- Mo arigato...
109
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,470
- Stop it, please.
- Jesus Christ.
110
00:03:48,553 --> 00:03:49,803
You know, actually,
I have tics to a show tonight,
111
00:03:49,887 --> 00:03:51,257
so maybe I can
drop this off tomorrow?
112
00:03:51,345 --> 00:03:53,215
Oh, yeah, that's no problem.
113
00:03:53,303 --> 00:03:55,263
I don't mind getting my dick
teppanyaki'd by the Yakuza
114
00:03:55,345 --> 00:03:57,175
- 'cause you wanna go see
115
00:03:57,261 --> 00:03:59,101
Starlight Express
for the tenth fucking time.
116
00:03:59,178 --> 00:04:00,678
It's layered, okay?
Ha.
117
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,932
The whole show is actually
a young boy's dream
118
00:04:03,011 --> 00:04:05,851
as he kind of teeters
on the cusp of manhood
119
00:04:05,929 --> 00:04:08,099
Ah. Fine.
120
00:04:10,303 --> 00:04:12,303
Is it me,
or is he getting weirder?
121
00:04:12,387 --> 00:04:14,507
He's definitely getting
whiter.
122
00:04:18,845 --> 00:04:20,255
- Thank you, Kyle.
123
00:04:20,345 --> 00:04:22,385
It's so cool
you live in a hotel.
124
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,140
- You're like Eloise.
125
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:26,350
I don't know who that chick is,
but, yeah, it's pretty nice.
126
00:04:26,428 --> 00:04:28,388
You know, it's just temporary,
till I get my own place.
127
00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:30,350
- I been lookin' around.
- For the last 15 years.
128
00:04:30,428 --> 00:04:32,888
Do they give you, like,
a monthly rate or something?
129
00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:34,180
Mm-hmm.
130
00:04:34,261 --> 00:04:36,221
So Blair, how are you?
131
00:04:36,303 --> 00:04:38,103
I can't imagine
how hard it must be
132
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,008
to be apart from
the love of your life.
133
00:04:40,095 --> 00:04:41,755
Iiiit's pretty great.
134
00:04:41,845 --> 00:04:43,175
Yeah. Yeah.
135
00:04:43,261 --> 00:04:44,351
- Yeah?
- Tiff's been living
136
00:04:44,428 --> 00:04:45,928
with her parents uptown,
so I get to do
137
00:04:46,011 --> 00:04:48,011
- whatever, whenever.
138
00:04:48,095 --> 00:04:50,175
Last night,
I ordered ethnic food.
139
00:04:50,261 --> 00:04:51,971
- Oh, hard to argue with that!
- Oh!
140
00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:57,350
But I will, because,
Blair, love is dope.
141
00:04:57,428 --> 00:04:59,138
Ah, exactly.
Ethnic food--
142
00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:01,100
you know, it gets old.
143
00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:03,718
Except falafels. Now, those
fuckers are built to last.
144
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,644
Like true love.
145
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,600
You know? And it
doesn't come around often.
146
00:05:07,679 --> 00:05:09,509
Trust us: you don't
wanna be the 40-year-old guy
147
00:05:09,595 --> 00:05:11,845
in the club that everybody
feels bad for.
148
00:05:11,929 --> 00:05:13,849
Well, I-I don't know
that they feel bad for the guy
149
00:05:13,929 --> 00:05:15,759
so much as they wanna
high-five him, you know,
150
00:05:15,845 --> 00:05:17,385
for not settling.
151
00:05:17,470 --> 00:05:18,970
You know what I'm talking
about, right?
152
00:05:19,053 --> 00:05:20,803
No! Blair
wouldn't be settling.
153
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,637
I mean,
Tiff is his soul mate
154
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,010
just like Spencer
is my soul mate.
155
00:05:25,095 --> 00:05:26,755
I agree with the Tiff
part of that sentence.
156
00:05:26,845 --> 00:05:28,175
I'm just saying that,
you know,
157
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,101
sometimes it's brave
to be alone
158
00:05:30,178 --> 00:05:32,428
instead of, you know,
settling for the first
159
00:05:32,512 --> 00:05:34,762
lame-ass doctor
that you lay eyes on
160
00:05:34,845 --> 00:05:36,715
that satisfies your parents
but not you.
161
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,304
Sexually.
162
00:05:38,387 --> 00:05:40,177
I'm sorry--is Tiff
the limp dick doctor
163
00:05:40,261 --> 00:05:42,011
- in this scenario?
- You know what?
164
00:05:42,095 --> 00:05:43,795
It is brave to not
jump off a roof
165
00:05:43,887 --> 00:05:45,597
when your best friend
is a robot.
166
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,429
Well, if Short Circuit
has taught us anything--
167
00:05:47,512 --> 00:05:50,182
Blair, everyone needs
someone to share life with,
168
00:05:50,261 --> 00:05:52,471
someone to share
a bottle of wine with
169
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,183
at the end of a shitty day
and toast to not...
170
00:05:55,261 --> 00:05:57,101
dying alone
in a hotel room.
171
00:05:57,178 --> 00:05:59,598
With a fuck machine in...
172
00:05:59,679 --> 00:06:01,509
- Jesus Christ.
- A coke-induced haze--
173
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:02,715
- What the fuck?
- What the fuck?
174
00:06:02,804 --> 00:06:04,684
Yeah.
That the fuck.
175
00:06:04,762 --> 00:06:06,262
I'm sorry that you had to find
out like this, kid, all right?
176
00:06:06,345 --> 00:06:09,005
I got a friend over at
Page Six, the socialite beat.
177
00:06:09,095 --> 00:06:11,215
Is Tiff like out there?
178
00:06:11,303 --> 00:06:13,053
Yeah, I'm afraid so, champ.
Word on the street--
179
00:06:13,136 --> 00:06:14,966
this guy's hung like a hose.
180
00:06:15,053 --> 00:06:16,143
You mean horse.
181
00:06:16,220 --> 00:06:17,720
I do not.
182
00:06:17,804 --> 00:06:19,394
I mean, I know I broke up
with her,
183
00:06:19,470 --> 00:06:21,890
but I just didn't expect...
this
184
00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:24,300
this soon--
I--
185
00:06:24,387 --> 00:06:25,467
- I gotta go find her.
- Yeah.
186
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,223
'Scuse me.
187
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,973
See ya, buddy.
188
00:06:29,053 --> 00:06:30,643
- Right?
189
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,430
- Mission accomplished.
- No.
190
00:06:32,512 --> 00:06:33,552
Let's go celebrate.
Cedar Tavern.
191
00:06:33,637 --> 00:06:35,047
What do you say?
192
00:06:35,136 --> 00:06:36,386
I am going home
to my husband.
193
00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:38,350
You wanna bag all this up
for him?
194
00:06:38,428 --> 00:06:40,508
You know, I appreciate
a man with hips.
195
00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:43,505
Oh, good.
'Cause he's got those.
196
00:06:43,595 --> 00:06:45,845
Enjoy fucking Kyle.
197
00:06:45,929 --> 00:06:46,969
Jealous!
198
00:06:50,762 --> 00:06:52,352
- Y-you can't take
199
00:06:52,428 --> 00:06:53,508
that kinda shit to heart, Kyle.
200
00:06:53,595 --> 00:06:55,465
Just let it roll off your back.
201
00:06:55,553 --> 00:06:57,013
♪ The Cars' "Drive" plays ♪
202
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:03,007
Tiff?
203
00:07:04,762 --> 00:07:08,222
- Spence?
- In the bedroom, babe.
204
00:07:10,345 --> 00:07:13,505
Hey, bring us
a bottle of wine, yeah?
205
00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:23,182
♪ Who's gonna
tell you when ♪
206
00:07:23,261 --> 00:07:26,181
♪ It's too late ♪
207
00:07:26,261 --> 00:07:28,931
Kyle? I'm home.
208
00:07:29,011 --> 00:07:30,891
Kyle?
209
00:07:30,970 --> 00:07:34,720
♪ Who's gonna tell you
things ♪
210
00:07:34,804 --> 00:07:38,144
♪ Aren't so great? ♪
211
00:07:41,845 --> 00:07:43,505
Papa Bear, I've been naughty--
212
00:07:43,595 --> 00:07:45,345
Hey!
213
00:07:45,428 --> 00:07:46,798
I thought we were gonna
get busy.
214
00:07:46,887 --> 00:07:49,347
Oh, babe, I'm so full,
I can hardly move.
215
00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:54,345
You can do stuff to me
if you like.
216
00:07:54,428 --> 00:07:55,598
♪ Who's gonna
drive you home ♪
217
00:07:55,679 --> 00:07:56,849
Mm-mm.
218
00:07:58,136 --> 00:07:59,506
♪ Tonight? ♪
219
00:08:05,637 --> 00:08:08,717
♪ Who's gonna pick you up ♪
220
00:08:08,804 --> 00:08:10,604
Would you get me
a paper towel?
221
00:08:10,679 --> 00:08:12,299
- Dip it in some cold water.
- I'll even
222
00:08:12,387 --> 00:08:14,047
- wipe it off of you.
- Ooh! You don't wanna
223
00:08:14,136 --> 00:08:15,756
lick it off?
224
00:08:15,845 --> 00:08:18,045
And...scene.
That felt really good.
225
00:08:18,136 --> 00:08:20,596
You think Body Heat's
a weird movie to audition with?
226
00:08:20,679 --> 00:08:22,549
I just really wanna get
into this acting class.
227
00:08:22,637 --> 00:08:25,137
Maybe I'd loosen up
if we had sex again.
228
00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:26,550
- Ah.
- Yeah. Then we can clean up
229
00:08:26,637 --> 00:08:28,757
all the laundry
that we knocked over
230
00:08:28,845 --> 00:08:30,465
- when we had sex in the hall.
- Yes! Ohh...
231
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,430
♪ To your dreams... ♪
232
00:08:34,512 --> 00:08:35,762
- Rrr!
- Rrr!
233
00:08:35,845 --> 00:08:38,675
Ah...ahh!
234
00:08:38,762 --> 00:08:40,932
Mo, we've got a problem.
235
00:08:41,011 --> 00:08:43,301
Yeah, you're damn right
we do--the Yakuza killed Kyle!
236
00:08:43,387 --> 00:08:44,927
- Where the fuck is Keith?
237
00:08:45,011 --> 00:08:46,851
- I been trying him all night!
- He just skipped in
238
00:08:46,929 --> 00:08:48,219
singing show tunes.
239
00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:50,223
Look at this shit.
I had it translated.
240
00:08:50,303 --> 00:08:51,803
It's something
Kyle would have done.
241
00:08:51,887 --> 00:08:53,257
He loves languages--
Loved languages.
242
00:08:53,345 --> 00:08:54,795
Oh, fuck me!
243
00:08:54,887 --> 00:08:57,047
- They never got their money?
- No!
244
00:08:57,136 --> 00:08:58,596
- Keith!
- Keith!
245
00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:00,349
Hey.
You screamed?
246
00:09:00,428 --> 00:09:02,428
What happened with the drop?
247
00:09:02,512 --> 00:09:04,512
The Yakuza never got
their fucking cash!
248
00:09:04,595 --> 00:09:06,215
Whaaat? That doesn't
make any sen--
249
00:09:06,303 --> 00:09:07,643
You just save it
for the Yakuza
250
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,930
that I'm sending to your house
to get their money
251
00:09:10,011 --> 00:09:13,391
outta the fillings in your
children's goddamn teeth!
252
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,760
That's pretty dark.
Your Rachel's godfather.
253
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,425
- Go handle it!
- On it.
254
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,262
Mo, I'm sorry.
255
00:09:18,345 --> 00:09:21,215
All robocide aside,
but we've got bigger issues.
256
00:09:21,303 --> 00:09:22,973
Bigger than me getting
my dick chopped off?
257
00:09:23,053 --> 00:09:24,893
You're gonna be broke.
258
00:09:24,970 --> 00:09:26,890
♪ edgy music ♪
259
00:09:28,929 --> 00:09:31,099
This fuckin' day!
260
00:09:32,637 --> 00:09:33,967
What the fuck
did you do?
261
00:09:34,053 --> 00:09:35,513
The Yakuza
didn't get their money.
262
00:09:35,595 --> 00:09:38,505
I asked you to do
one simple thing.
263
00:09:38,595 --> 00:09:40,635
- Whaaa--
- Oh, don't "whaaat?" me!
264
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,430
'Cause I was just in there
"whaaat"ing Mo!
265
00:09:42,512 --> 00:09:44,012
Look, this chick Geena
I been mackin' on
266
00:09:44,095 --> 00:09:46,795
beeped me 69-1-1.
That's an oral emergency.
267
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,677
- I had Wayne do it.
- Wayne?
268
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:50,392
- Yeah.
- Wayne's a test tube baby!
269
00:09:50,470 --> 00:09:51,890
Why the fuck
would you do that?
270
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:53,890
Same reason you had me do it,
so you could go see
271
00:09:53,970 --> 00:09:55,720
fuckin' Starlight Express
again?
272
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,304
- It's layered, okay?
273
00:09:57,387 --> 00:09:58,637
Greaseball represents
the twilight of the...
274
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,470
Industrial
Revolution...
275
00:10:00,553 --> 00:10:01,513
- before it got--
You got the Wayniac.
276
00:10:01,595 --> 00:10:03,505
The Yakuza
didn't get their money!
277
00:10:03,595 --> 00:10:05,505
- Whaaaat?
- No. Nope, Wayne.
278
00:10:05,595 --> 00:10:07,385
- Where the fuck are you?
- Home sick.
279
00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:09,720
Jeez!
Hey, unrelated to that,
280
00:10:09,804 --> 00:10:11,644
I just wanted to
let you guys know
281
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,800
how much fun I've had
workin' with you.
282
00:10:13,887 --> 00:10:16,717
You're not just good.
283
00:10:16,804 --> 00:10:18,514
- You're golden.
- Are you dying?
284
00:10:18,595 --> 00:10:21,005
Is that the Golden Grahams
slogan?
285
00:10:21,095 --> 00:10:22,845
This is the final
boarding call for flight...
286
00:10:22,929 --> 00:10:25,509
Wayne...are you at LaGuardia?
287
00:10:25,595 --> 00:10:27,505
No, man, I told ya,
I'm at the movies.
288
00:10:27,595 --> 00:10:29,635
You just said
you were home sick.
289
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:33,180
Tell me you did not take
the VIG money
290
00:10:33,261 --> 00:10:35,051
that we owe murderers
291
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:37,006
and put it all on
the LaGuardia Spread.
292
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,295
This call
has been disconnected.
293
00:10:39,387 --> 00:10:40,887
- Fuck!
294
00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,010
Fuck!
295
00:10:42,095 --> 00:10:44,005
What's the LaGuardia Spread?
296
00:10:44,095 --> 00:10:46,095
You! Are there any
abnormally huge positions
297
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,138
- open on Wayne's account? Go!
- What? Wayne's a day scalper.
298
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:49,640
He never trades
anything larger than--
299
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,470
Oh, God!
300
00:10:51,553 --> 00:10:54,723
Wayne's long 100,000
contracts of feeder cattle?
301
00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:56,434
- On margin.
- Fuck!
302
00:10:56,512 --> 00:10:58,432
What's
the LaGuardia Spread?
303
00:10:58,512 --> 00:10:59,932
My name's Karen,
by the way,
304
00:11:00,011 --> 00:11:01,551
- if you guys--
- Shut the fuck up,
305
00:11:01,637 --> 00:11:02,757
Karen!
306
00:11:03,804 --> 00:11:05,474
Hey, there he is.
307
00:11:05,553 --> 00:11:07,303
- How'd it go, slugger?
- Well, it was a night
308
00:11:07,387 --> 00:11:08,757
of passion between
309
00:11:08,845 --> 00:11:13,255
Tiff and this, like,
Polish centaur.
310
00:11:13,345 --> 00:11:16,545
And now she doesn't wanna
get back together with me.
311
00:11:16,637 --> 00:11:19,007
How'd she meet someone
so fast?
312
00:11:20,553 --> 00:11:22,013
You have to help me.
Please?
313
00:11:22,095 --> 00:11:23,755
Blair, this is
totally fixable.
314
00:11:23,845 --> 00:11:26,005
You take her to
a super-romantic spot
315
00:11:26,095 --> 00:11:28,045
and just...I want you to
tell her how you feel.
316
00:11:28,136 --> 00:11:30,426
Yeah,
like that'll work.
317
00:11:30,512 --> 00:11:32,972
Well, it worked for you.
318
00:11:33,053 --> 00:11:35,053
You took me
to the Cedar Tavern,
319
00:11:35,136 --> 00:11:37,596
And you poured your heart out
that night after work.
320
00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,179
Remember?
I hate to admit it,
321
00:11:39,261 --> 00:11:41,051
but that's what did it for me,
your vulnerable side.
322
00:11:41,136 --> 00:11:42,846
I don't remember that.
And I don't have any sides.
323
00:11:42,929 --> 00:11:44,509
I'm all edge.
324
00:11:44,595 --> 00:11:46,385
You don't remember telling me
325
00:11:46,470 --> 00:11:48,390
that you were the last guy in
your junior high to get pubes
326
00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:50,850
- and how it totally defined--
- Nope. No, no, nope, nope.
327
00:11:50,929 --> 00:11:52,679
Don't remember that.
Hey, listen, Blair.
328
00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:54,432
You wanna get Tiff back,
you know what you need?
329
00:11:54,512 --> 00:11:56,182
Good, old-fashioned
honey pot.
330
00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:58,261
- Ugh, God.
- Like Hogan's Heroes.
331
00:11:58,345 --> 00:12:00,295
Like Hogan's Heroes.
Exactly.
332
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,757
Foolproof.
333
00:12:01,845 --> 00:12:03,635
Except when it makes
shit worse.
334
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,470
Well, it worked
on you, didn't it?
335
00:12:05,553 --> 00:12:07,013
There's no way you would
have shown up
336
00:12:07,095 --> 00:12:08,675
at Cedar Tavern that night
if you hadn't seen me
337
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,472
makin' out with
that Oreo model.
338
00:12:10,553 --> 00:12:11,973
I think you're supposed
to say "mulatto" now.
339
00:12:12,053 --> 00:12:15,393
Yeah. She was a print model
for Oreo Cookies, asshole.
340
00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:17,510
Uh, no, she ate Oreos.
I mean, she was fat.
341
00:12:17,595 --> 00:12:19,045
- Jealous.
- You know what?
342
00:12:19,136 --> 00:12:20,966
She had shit to do with it,
and fine.
343
00:12:21,053 --> 00:12:23,223
- Honeypot it is.
- Great.
344
00:12:23,303 --> 00:12:25,183
And I'll be
the honey.
345
00:12:26,970 --> 00:12:28,640
Great.
Just as I intended it.
346
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,970
- Great.
- Great!
347
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:31,353
So I will get Tiff's
boyfriend
348
00:12:31,428 --> 00:12:32,848
to bring her
to watch him tonight
349
00:12:32,929 --> 00:12:34,299
in the Manhattan Pageant,
350
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,467
and you two kids
can do your thing.
351
00:12:35,553 --> 00:12:36,763
- Great.
- Great.
352
00:12:36,845 --> 00:12:38,255
Wait. How do you know
who he is
353
00:12:38,345 --> 00:12:39,885
or that he's in a pageant?
354
00:12:39,970 --> 00:12:41,720
Jesus Chris, kid,
did you ask this many questions
355
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,144
when you watched
Hogan's Heroes?
356
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:45,350
Yeah. It's a sit-com
that takes place
357
00:12:45,428 --> 00:12:48,098
- in a Nazi concentration camp.
- Mmm.
358
00:12:48,178 --> 00:12:49,178
That's fair.
359
00:12:50,095 --> 00:12:51,845
Remember that guy
who could fuckin' pull
360
00:12:51,929 --> 00:12:53,549
the handkerchief
through his nostrils?
361
00:12:53,637 --> 00:12:55,347
Bo Melp! What happened
with that maniac?
362
00:12:55,428 --> 00:12:57,098
Who the fuck knows?
Same thing
363
00:12:57,178 --> 00:12:58,848
with Sammy Marsh,
Len Burger, and Chippy Cox.
364
00:12:58,929 --> 00:13:00,929
When you're down to
your last stack
365
00:13:01,011 --> 00:13:02,801
and you're all outta moves,
there's always one last play
366
00:13:02,887 --> 00:13:04,637
if you're crazy enough
to try it.
367
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,220
You take a huge position
out on the margin--
368
00:13:06,303 --> 00:13:07,853
I'm talking about
a crazy fuckin' long shot--
369
00:13:07,929 --> 00:13:09,639
you pack a bag,
you head to the airport,
370
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,010
and you call the floor.
If you're lucky,
371
00:13:11,095 --> 00:13:12,595
you come home a hero.
If you're not,
372
00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:14,099
you don't come home ever.
373
00:13:14,178 --> 00:13:16,348
You get on a plane,
and you fuckin' disappear.
374
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:18,508
But Wayne has a family.
375
00:13:18,595 --> 00:13:20,345
- Bo Melp had two.
376
00:13:20,428 --> 00:13:22,298
Damn. The LaGuardia
fuckin' Spread.
377
00:13:22,387 --> 00:13:23,757
That motherfucker!
378
00:13:30,053 --> 00:13:34,103
Wheeeere's the beef?
379
00:13:34,178 --> 00:13:36,678
Ha ha. Isn't that what
all you ladies are wonderin'?
380
00:13:36,762 --> 00:13:38,472
Welcome to the motherfuckin'
381
00:13:38,553 --> 00:13:42,353
43rd Annual Manhattan Pageant!
382
00:13:42,428 --> 00:13:44,048
- Whoo!
383
00:13:44,136 --> 00:13:45,756
Those of you who don't know me
384
00:13:45,845 --> 00:13:47,595
are fulla shit,
'cause I'm a Goddamn legend.
385
00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:50,349
- I came up in these very pits
386
00:13:50,428 --> 00:13:52,348
and there is not a day
that goes by
387
00:13:52,428 --> 00:13:54,718
that I don't think how much
I hate you dumb immigrants.
388
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,180
Okay, enough, enough, enough.
Enough foreplay.
389
00:13:58,261 --> 00:14:00,681
First up, ladies,
comin' to the stage--
390
00:14:00,762 --> 00:14:03,102
you know him, you hate him.
391
00:14:03,178 --> 00:14:04,968
He's an incredible bigot.
392
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:08,393
Flanny, the oranges'
frozen orange juice trader.
393
00:14:08,470 --> 00:14:10,350
- Look at this fucking
394
00:14:10,428 --> 00:14:11,968
alcoholic with
the Irish tan, huh?
395
00:14:12,053 --> 00:14:14,683
He doesn't have a liver.
This is a die-er.
396
00:14:14,762 --> 00:14:16,352
Come on, get those
paddles up, ladies.
397
00:14:16,428 --> 00:14:17,968
You better hurry up, 'cause
he's knock-knock-knockin'
398
00:14:18,053 --> 00:14:19,893
on hell's door.
Come on, preach, Flanny.
399
00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:21,850
You're one of the good ones,
Mo.
400
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,759
- I tell you what...
- Are the categories
401
00:14:23,845 --> 00:14:25,675
really
"man, hat" and "tan"?
402
00:14:25,762 --> 00:14:27,762
It's all very
first thought.
403
00:14:27,845 --> 00:14:29,545
A thousand, a thousand.
404
00:14:29,637 --> 00:14:30,847
1,000.
1,500.
405
00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:32,139
2,000.
406
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:33,680
You look incredible.
407
00:14:33,762 --> 00:14:36,142
Oh! Thank you!
Just, uh...
408
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:37,760
little something I had
409
00:14:37,845 --> 00:14:39,755
to spend my last two
paychecks on.
410
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:41,295
- Okay, 2,000--
411
00:14:41,387 --> 00:14:42,967
Ah...
412
00:14:43,053 --> 00:14:44,893
There she is.
413
00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:47,970
Oh, God. I haven't
acted since college.
414
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,893
And the UPenn Gazette
called my performance
415
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:52,890
as Otto Frank the worst thing
to happen to Anne Frank.
416
00:14:52,970 --> 00:14:54,760
Couldn't have been
that bad.
417
00:14:54,845 --> 00:14:56,345
- Just follow my lead.
- Whoo!
418
00:14:58,011 --> 00:14:59,391
- Oh.
419
00:14:59,470 --> 00:15:00,930
- What about this?
- Okay.
420
00:15:01,011 --> 00:15:02,431
Yeah, yeah.
It's natural.
421
00:15:02,512 --> 00:15:03,762
Sold! 2,500!
422
00:15:03,845 --> 00:15:05,215
Somebody's going home happy.
423
00:15:05,303 --> 00:15:07,013
Those Irish eyes
are smiling!
424
00:15:07,095 --> 00:15:09,595
- I love you too.
425
00:15:09,679 --> 00:15:12,009
Uh...let's keep it goin'!
426
00:15:15,553 --> 00:15:17,513
Shit.
427
00:15:17,595 --> 00:15:20,175
It's time for
Market Watch with Ali Greer.
428
00:15:20,261 --> 00:15:22,351
What's goin' on in those
futures pits today, Ali?
429
00:15:22,428 --> 00:15:24,298
The U.S. Agriculture
Department
430
00:15:24,387 --> 00:15:26,177
just released this quarter's
livestock report,
431
00:15:26,261 --> 00:15:28,301
and it's a record surplus,
432
00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:30,467
causing feeder cattle futures
to plummet.
433
00:15:30,553 --> 00:15:32,513
Hey, bartender.
434
00:15:32,595 --> 00:15:34,345
This is my last hundred.
435
00:15:34,428 --> 00:15:37,138
I want 90 on drinks
and 20 in smokes.
436
00:15:38,178 --> 00:15:40,048
Just fuckin' do it!
437
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:46,010
- Thank you!
438
00:15:50,303 --> 00:15:52,643
Hey, honey.
Listen.
439
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,220
I'm not comin' home.
440
00:15:55,303 --> 00:15:57,393
But I wanna let you know...
441
00:15:57,470 --> 00:15:59,640
I've never loved anyone
442
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,970
as much as I loved...
443
00:16:02,053 --> 00:16:03,513
your sister!
444
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:06,005
I--That's right!
You were right!
445
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,635
I fucked your sister!
446
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,760
It was nice!
Uh, buh-bye now!
447
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,095
- Fuck!
448
00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:13,798
Fun fact about Fat Fred--
449
00:16:13,887 --> 00:16:15,097
You know how
he got his nickname?
450
00:16:15,178 --> 00:16:17,258
- Mean children.
451
00:16:17,345 --> 00:16:19,715
- True story.
452
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,894
- Dude looks like
453
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:23,850
a John Candy version
of Soul Man.
454
00:16:23,929 --> 00:16:26,139
- Was it just me,
455
00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:27,800
or was that movie
about racism
456
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,597
really, really racist?
457
00:16:29,679 --> 00:16:31,799
Uh, like every movie.
458
00:16:31,887 --> 00:16:34,047
I mean,
you've seen Teen Wolf.
459
00:16:34,136 --> 00:16:35,176
When the guy turns into
an animal,
460
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,721
he starts dunking,
break-dancing,
461
00:16:36,804 --> 00:16:38,434
turning on white women,
462
00:16:38,512 --> 00:16:40,602
scaring the shit
outta white men.
463
00:16:40,679 --> 00:16:42,639
My favorite line
from that movie is,
464
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,550
"I'm not a fag.
I'm a werewolf."
465
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,547
- Michael J.!
466
00:16:46,637 --> 00:16:49,097
He is the reigning
rainmaker, Jack Piechowski,
467
00:16:49,178 --> 00:16:52,758
but you all know him
as Jackson Polack!
468
00:16:55,178 --> 00:16:56,848
- Whoo!
- So debonair!
469
00:16:56,929 --> 00:16:58,849
Show 'em the goods, baby.
470
00:16:58,929 --> 00:17:01,549
Oh!
471
00:17:05,136 --> 00:17:06,716
Let me tell you
something.
472
00:17:06,804 --> 00:17:08,264
You would never wanna
be that chiseled.
473
00:17:08,345 --> 00:17:09,925
- Women don't like that.
- That masculine.
474
00:17:10,011 --> 00:17:11,431
- No!
- No!
475
00:17:11,512 --> 00:17:12,432
Let's get this
bidding going.
476
00:17:12,512 --> 00:17:14,012
I want to serve him hot.
477
00:17:14,095 --> 00:17:15,795
All right, I'm gonna
start this cat at a thou!
478
00:17:15,887 --> 00:17:17,137
Who got a thou?
479
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:18,890
- Fifteen!
- Fifteen hundred.
480
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:21,430
- Thank you, young lady.
- Fifteen thousand.
481
00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:25,850
- Fifteen thousand.
482
00:17:25,929 --> 00:17:27,139
Fifteen thousand.
Pretty sure that's gonna
483
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,970
close out the bids right there.
484
00:17:29,053 --> 00:17:30,103
Thank you very much.
Fifteen thousand, Jackson.
485
00:17:32,261 --> 00:17:33,931
Mmm. Whatever.
486
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,891
- Jackson!
- Whoo!
487
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:37,510
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
488
00:17:38,679 --> 00:17:40,139
Is that White Rain?
489
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,930
Yeah. You can
smell it, huh?
490
00:17:42,011 --> 00:17:43,301
- It's really nice.
- It's like the best spray.
491
00:17:44,261 --> 00:17:45,761
Hey, it's me, Wayne.
492
00:17:45,845 --> 00:17:47,885
I just wanted to say
493
00:17:47,970 --> 00:17:50,760
you're a piece of shit,
and I've always hated you.
494
00:17:50,845 --> 00:17:53,345
You put Mom on the phone?
495
00:17:53,428 --> 00:17:55,138
Hi, Mom.
496
00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:56,350
Yeah.
I know you've always
497
00:17:56,428 --> 00:17:58,138
liked Mark best,
but guess what.
498
00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:01,140
The joke's on you,
because I outlived him.
499
00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:03,350
Will you please put
the dog on the phone?
500
00:18:14,387 --> 00:18:15,717
I know it didn't work,
501
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,684
but...honeypot or not,
502
00:18:17,762 --> 00:18:19,302
I had a really great
time tonight.
503
00:18:19,387 --> 00:18:21,217
Me too.
You're cute.
504
00:18:21,303 --> 00:18:23,013
You could be
the third Corey.
505
00:18:23,095 --> 00:18:24,845
Some Mo moves there.
506
00:18:28,387 --> 00:18:29,847
Wait, wait, wait.
Here she comes.
507
00:18:29,929 --> 00:18:31,719
- Here she comes.
- Backin' it up.
508
00:18:31,804 --> 00:18:33,514
Don't look, don't look.
509
00:18:34,887 --> 00:18:36,177
- Oh--Blair!
- Uh--
510
00:18:36,261 --> 00:18:37,551
What are you doing here?
511
00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:39,547
Oh, I'm just, uh,
you know,
512
00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:41,547
here supporting
the Mujahideen.
513
00:18:41,637 --> 00:18:44,257
Just gotta get them
as many weapons as possible.
514
00:18:44,345 --> 00:18:46,175
- You're a good man.
- Thank you, babe.
515
00:18:46,261 --> 00:18:48,351
- And who is this?
- I'm Jack.
516
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,008
- Like the cheese.
- Oh!
517
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:52,635
Young...Einstein.
518
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,760
Impressive.
519
00:18:54,845 --> 00:18:57,005
- This is Dawn.
- Dawn, of course.
520
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,215
I've heard so much
about you.
521
00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,603
Wow, you are beautiful.
522
00:18:59,679 --> 00:19:02,009
- Thank you.
- Ah, your husband
523
00:19:02,095 --> 00:19:03,845
- is a very lucky man.
524
00:19:03,929 --> 00:19:06,389
- Wherever he is.
- Ha ha ha ha ha.
525
00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:08,470
Listen,
I just came over to say
526
00:19:08,553 --> 00:19:09,643
I don't want things to be
awkward between us, Blair.
527
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,300
And I'm hoping that
eventually
528
00:19:11,387 --> 00:19:13,597
you and I could be friends.
529
00:19:13,679 --> 00:19:15,469
You do?
530
00:19:15,553 --> 00:19:18,893
For once in my life,
I need to focus on myself.
531
00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:20,720
On Tiff.
532
00:19:20,804 --> 00:19:23,604
For once.
So good-bye, Blair.
533
00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:25,299
Nice to meet you.
534
00:19:25,387 --> 00:19:27,387
That bow makes you look
skinny.
535
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:29,680
Oh, thank you.
You should get one.
536
00:19:33,845 --> 00:19:35,295
- It didn't work!
- No--
537
00:19:35,387 --> 00:19:37,097
- I'm already in her rear-view.
- Listen, no.
538
00:19:37,178 --> 00:19:38,888
Tonight was just
the first step, you know?
539
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:40,390
It might take a little--
540
00:19:46,679 --> 00:19:48,639
Blair!
541
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,550
Tiff.
542
00:19:51,845 --> 00:19:53,505
- Oh!
- Ah!
543
00:19:53,595 --> 00:19:55,635
Oh, my God.
Tell me.
544
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,890
Tell me that you just
brought Dawn here
545
00:19:57,970 --> 00:19:59,430
- to make me jealous.
- Yes. Did it work?
546
00:19:59,512 --> 00:20:01,762
Of course it worked.
Oh, my God, she's so hot.
547
00:20:01,845 --> 00:20:03,255
Part of me didn't know
whether I should be jealous
548
00:20:03,345 --> 00:20:05,385
of her or of you,
and that part of me
549
00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,260
- was my Hot Pocket.
- Yeah, your little Hot Pocket.
550
00:20:07,345 --> 00:20:09,385
- Yeah...
- Hey.
551
00:20:09,470 --> 00:20:12,430
Is this wrong?
552
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,302
I mean...
553
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:16,297
Tiff's sort of the worst,
and Blair's not.
554
00:20:16,387 --> 00:20:18,297
Yeah, well, I can give you
60 million reasons
555
00:20:18,387 --> 00:20:21,137
why it's right.
556
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,640
- I missed you.
- I missed you too.
557
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,260
- I'm sorry.
- Me too. I love you.
558
00:20:24,345 --> 00:20:25,885
- I love you.
- Huh? Oh, my God.
559
00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:27,720
Is that my earring?
560
00:20:27,804 --> 00:20:29,804
Okay, I'd know that emerald-cut
emerald anywhere.
561
00:20:29,887 --> 00:20:31,217
Stop. Stop-ay.
562
00:20:31,303 --> 00:20:33,013
- Earring-a?
- Oh!
563
00:20:33,095 --> 00:20:35,635
Lo siento.
Lo siento.
564
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,220
Oh, it's okay-o.
565
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,263
- Buenas dias.
566
00:20:38,345 --> 00:20:39,715
Gracias.
567
00:20:39,804 --> 00:20:42,354
Why didn't you tell me
that you lost this?
568
00:20:42,428 --> 00:20:44,178
You know these earrings
were the only survivors
569
00:20:44,261 --> 00:20:46,431
when my great-grandpa's
mine collapsed!
570
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:48,222
I know, I'm sorry.
I didn't wanna disappoint you,
571
00:20:48,303 --> 00:20:50,303
and honestly, sometimes
you can be a little bit scary.
572
00:20:50,387 --> 00:20:51,927
I know I can, and I'm sorry.
I'm working on it
573
00:20:52,011 --> 00:20:53,141
with my numerologist.
574
00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:55,220
Look, uh, I'm sorry
I brought up
575
00:20:55,303 --> 00:20:56,853
all our old stuff,
you know?
576
00:20:56,929 --> 00:20:59,099
The past is the past.
577
00:20:59,178 --> 00:21:01,428
Well...
578
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,511
What if it wasn't?
579
00:21:05,595 --> 00:21:09,095
We did such a great job
of getting them back together,
580
00:21:09,178 --> 00:21:12,468
what about...us?
You know what I mean?
581
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:15,510
Oh, Momo.
582
00:21:15,595 --> 00:21:17,385
What?
583
00:21:17,470 --> 00:21:19,260
That was
a long time ago,
584
00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:22,045
and...remember?
Kinda married.
585
00:21:22,136 --> 00:21:23,386
No, I don't remember,
okay?
586
00:21:23,470 --> 00:21:24,850
I don't ever remember that.
587
00:21:24,929 --> 00:21:26,549
That guy's a nonentity
to me.
588
00:21:26,637 --> 00:21:28,097
Okay? I mean, when was
the last time
589
00:21:28,178 --> 00:21:29,968
you had a good time
with that white boy?
590
00:21:30,053 --> 00:21:31,263
Last night.
591
00:21:31,345 --> 00:21:32,385
- Last night?
- Yeah.
592
00:21:32,470 --> 00:21:33,890
Dawn, I know your
593
00:21:33,970 --> 00:21:35,390
"I had a good
time last night" face,
594
00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:37,350
- and that ain't it.
- Oh. Well, I got a new
595
00:21:37,428 --> 00:21:38,928
"good time last night"
face, that's all.
596
00:21:39,011 --> 00:21:41,101
Okay.
597
00:21:41,178 --> 00:21:43,138
Look, after I
sash and crown here,
598
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:45,390
I'm gonna go over
to the Cedar Tavern.
599
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,720
I'm gonna be there
around 10:00, okay?
600
00:21:47,804 --> 00:21:50,764
So...show up,
don't show up.
601
00:21:50,845 --> 00:21:53,255
It's up to you.
I'm gonna be there.
602
00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:55,135
You're gonna be there
alone, Mo.
603
00:21:55,220 --> 00:21:57,550
I'm not coming.
604
00:21:57,637 --> 00:21:59,967
We'll see.
605
00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:02,013
- We'll see.
- Uh-huh.
606
00:22:03,512 --> 00:22:05,352
- Ha ha. Uh-huh!
- Okay.
607
00:22:05,428 --> 00:22:06,888
- Bye!
- Bye.
608
00:22:11,136 --> 00:22:13,176
Let's get this back where it--
609
00:22:13,261 --> 00:22:15,601
You know what? No.
No, this thing's bad luck.
610
00:22:15,679 --> 00:22:17,299
Ever since I put it on you,
it's just kicked off
611
00:22:17,387 --> 00:22:18,927
a series of disastrous events,
okay?
612
00:22:19,011 --> 00:22:20,511
This thing is cursed.
613
00:22:20,595 --> 00:22:22,005
Hey, hey, hey!
614
00:22:22,095 --> 00:22:23,635
There's the happy couple!
615
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,430
Oh, my God.
616
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:26,762
You've gotta be Tiff--
the one and only.
617
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,635
- Yeah, I am.
618
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,640
Blair has been heartbroken
without you, I gotta tell you.
619
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:31,850
And I can see why.
620
00:22:31,929 --> 00:22:33,599
Ah-ooga!
Ha ha ha.
621
00:22:33,679 --> 00:22:35,299
What a beautiful dress.
622
00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:36,547
- Well, actually...
- Whoa!
623
00:22:38,136 --> 00:22:40,466
Oh! It's a skort.
624
00:22:40,553 --> 00:22:42,303
- Skants. Prototype.
- Skants.
625
00:22:42,387 --> 00:22:44,257
Oh. Well, I'd say they better
rush that baby to market.
626
00:22:44,345 --> 00:22:46,465
- Right?
- What is it: Levi's, Guess?
627
00:22:46,553 --> 00:22:48,933
No, it's Georgina.
I'm Tiff Georgina.
628
00:22:49,011 --> 00:22:50,601
Tiff Georgina.
629
00:22:50,679 --> 00:22:52,889
Now I see where this guy
gets his fashion sense from--
630
00:22:52,970 --> 00:22:54,890
a beautiful, fashionable lady
631
00:22:54,970 --> 00:22:57,010
from a famously
fashionable family.
632
00:22:57,095 --> 00:22:58,635
- Ah!
- And you must be the very
633
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,350
famous Maurice Monroe
that I've heard so much about.
634
00:23:01,428 --> 00:23:03,258
All good, I'm sure?
635
00:23:06,762 --> 00:23:09,182
So what else?
636
00:23:10,762 --> 00:23:12,512
- A lot of people, huh?
- Yeah.
637
00:23:12,595 --> 00:23:14,635
You know, Maurice,
I have been meaning
638
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,800
to thank you for giving
my man here a little job.
639
00:23:16,887 --> 00:23:18,547
- Ah.
- So please,
640
00:23:18,637 --> 00:23:21,047
consider this tie pin
a gift for luck.
641
00:23:21,136 --> 00:23:22,846
Oh, my God. Ha ha!
Well, I'm gonna say yes.
642
00:23:22,929 --> 00:23:25,049
- Ah!
- Ha ha ha ha ha!
643
00:23:25,136 --> 00:23:26,346
- You kids have a great night.
- Oh, so nice seeing you
644
00:23:26,428 --> 00:23:27,798
- and meeting you.
- Thanks again!
645
00:23:27,887 --> 00:23:30,467
- That was so generous, babe.
- Fuck him.
646
00:23:30,553 --> 00:23:31,933
- Ooh!
- Yeah?
647
00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:33,431
- I'm back!
- Yeah, you are back.
648
00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:35,392
Oh, I'm actually on the air.
649
00:23:35,470 --> 00:23:38,470
Hi, Howard! Long-time
listener, first-time caller.
650
00:23:38,553 --> 00:23:41,223
Hey, can you put Robin's boobs
on the air?
651
00:23:41,303 --> 00:23:43,353
Huh?
No, no, I love you guys.
652
00:23:43,428 --> 00:23:45,928
Hey, whoa, hey, Howard,
before you hang up--
653
00:23:46,011 --> 00:23:47,641
Fuck Jackie Martling!
654
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:48,930
- Wait!
655
00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,511
- Stop him!
- Shit!
656
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:52,505
Stop him!
Get him, get him, stop him!
657
00:23:52,595 --> 00:23:54,715
You dumb-ass LaGuardia
fuckin' Spread idiot!
658
00:23:54,804 --> 00:23:56,684
What the fuck
are you doin', man?
659
00:23:56,762 --> 00:23:58,352
The Yakuza's gonna
track us down and kill us.
660
00:23:58,428 --> 00:24:00,008
...killed today
by a food-borne illness
661
00:24:00,095 --> 00:24:02,175
found in beef.
662
00:24:02,261 --> 00:24:03,761
Mad cow disease is affecting
663
00:24:03,845 --> 00:24:06,595
livestock across
Canada and the U.K.,
664
00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:10,349
causing one of the biggest
beef recalls in history.
665
00:24:10,428 --> 00:24:11,798
The outbreak
of mad cow disease
666
00:24:11,887 --> 00:24:14,467
forced supermarkets
across the U.K.
667
00:24:14,553 --> 00:24:17,723
to dispose of
the tainted beef.
668
00:24:17,804 --> 00:24:19,974
Resupplying the market
with safe beef from the U.S.
669
00:24:20,053 --> 00:24:22,513
is causing the demand
to skyrocket.
670
00:24:25,595 --> 00:24:28,175
It is my distinct honor
to present
671
00:24:28,261 --> 00:24:30,261
these brave Mujahideen warriors
672
00:24:30,345 --> 00:24:34,595
- with a check for $44,250.
673
00:24:34,679 --> 00:24:38,179
Fight on, brave men.
We will not forget you.
674
00:24:38,261 --> 00:24:40,391
We're actually not going
by Mujahideen anymore.
675
00:24:40,470 --> 00:24:41,680
We're rebranding.
676
00:24:41,762 --> 00:24:44,352
What do you think about,
uh, Taliban?
677
00:24:44,428 --> 00:24:47,428
Taliban, uh...
yeah, that's got legs.
678
00:24:48,845 --> 00:24:50,385
♪ edgy music ♪
679
00:24:50,470 --> 00:24:51,760
Oh, shit, I gotta
get outta here.
680
00:24:51,845 --> 00:24:53,005
- All right, take it easy.
- Salaam!
681
00:24:53,095 --> 00:24:54,965
Yeah.
Salami and bacon!
682
00:25:23,512 --> 00:25:28,182
♪ Where do I find
the strength ♪
683
00:25:28,261 --> 00:25:31,181
♪ To face the future ♪
684
00:25:31,261 --> 00:25:35,221
♪ With...without you? ♪
685
00:25:35,303 --> 00:25:37,353
Uh...make it a double.
686
00:25:37,428 --> 00:25:39,218
You haven't ordered.
687
00:25:40,345 --> 00:25:42,385
Scotch.
688
00:25:43,428 --> 00:25:46,348
♪ dramatic music ♪
689
00:25:48,095 --> 00:25:50,925
I'm gonna need that finger.
690
00:25:51,011 --> 00:25:52,391
No hard feelings, Mo.
691
00:25:52,470 --> 00:25:54,470
You have a boss.
I have a boss.
692
00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:57,263
Technically,
I'm my own boss, but...
693
00:25:59,929 --> 00:26:02,429
Mm!
694
00:26:02,512 --> 00:26:03,602
I have to do it?
695
00:26:14,178 --> 00:26:16,048
How much pinky
are we talkin' about?
696
00:26:16,136 --> 00:26:18,676
- Mo!
- Yeah.
697
00:26:18,762 --> 00:26:20,762
Oh, shit.
698
00:26:22,762 --> 00:26:24,432
Stop! Stop!
699
00:26:24,512 --> 00:26:26,432
Stop! Shit!
700
00:26:26,512 --> 00:26:28,222
We got the money
and then some.
701
00:26:28,303 --> 00:26:30,683
Turns out Wayne was pulling
a LaGuardia Spread
702
00:26:30,762 --> 00:26:31,892
- with the dough.
- And it worked!
703
00:26:31,970 --> 00:26:33,800
Well, it didn't until
the U.K. was overrun
704
00:26:33,887 --> 00:26:35,467
by zombie cows.
705
00:26:35,553 --> 00:26:37,223
U.S. livestock
futures are--
706
00:26:37,303 --> 00:26:38,723
Do you wanna give this guy
his Goddamn money
707
00:26:38,804 --> 00:26:40,724
so I don't have to cut off
my fucking pinkie?
708
00:26:40,804 --> 00:26:42,224
The money's already been
wired into your account, Mo.
709
00:26:42,303 --> 00:26:44,473
So...are we good?
710
00:26:47,387 --> 00:26:49,847
Ohh...
Ha. Ha ha.
711
00:26:49,929 --> 00:26:52,469
Ha ha ha ha. Oh!
712
00:26:52,553 --> 00:26:54,353
I'm not even mad at you,
Wayne okay?
713
00:26:54,428 --> 00:26:56,098
You're a fuckin' wild man.
714
00:26:56,178 --> 00:26:57,848
- Yeah, right?
715
00:26:57,929 --> 00:27:00,099
It takes some big--
Actually, that's not true.
716
00:27:00,178 --> 00:27:01,468
I'm very upset with you!
717
00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:03,303
I'm upset
with all three of you.
718
00:27:03,387 --> 00:27:05,347
I'm gonna individually
fuck each one of you up.
719
00:27:05,428 --> 00:27:07,098
- Do you understand--
- Mm! So...
720
00:27:07,178 --> 00:27:10,598
You wanna do a money order?
Write us a check?
721
00:27:10,679 --> 00:27:12,349
Whatever's easier.
722
00:27:12,428 --> 00:27:15,298
♪ suspenseful music ♪
723
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,510
And again.
Again, I fell for it.
724
00:27:19,595 --> 00:27:24,465
And...again,
Mo let me down.
725
00:27:24,553 --> 00:27:27,143
You know, it's like,
uh...
726
00:27:27,220 --> 00:27:29,600
I feel like I'm Lucy,
727
00:27:29,679 --> 00:27:31,179
you know,
and the football,
728
00:27:31,261 --> 00:27:32,801
or...maybe
I'm Charlie Brown.
729
00:27:32,887 --> 00:27:36,677
I don't know.
Or maybe I'm the football.
730
00:27:36,762 --> 00:27:39,222
Who knows? Ooh!
Peanuts!
731
00:27:39,303 --> 00:27:40,643
What if I do some peanuts
732
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,350
to soak up some of
this alcohol.
733
00:27:42,428 --> 00:27:45,258
This is supposed to be
one of the most romantic spots
734
00:27:45,345 --> 00:27:46,795
- in the city.
- Eew.
735
00:27:46,887 --> 00:27:48,847
I gotta pee.
736
00:27:52,178 --> 00:27:53,798
Hey. You're here!
737
00:27:53,887 --> 00:27:55,467
Mmm!
738
00:27:55,553 --> 00:27:57,683
Did you see Tiff and I
are, uh, we're back.
739
00:27:57,762 --> 00:27:58,722
- I think.
- Oh...
740
00:27:58,804 --> 00:28:00,894
Uh, so thank you
741
00:28:01,011 --> 00:28:02,761
for everything.
742
00:28:02,845 --> 00:28:04,675
Well, I'm just--I'm happy
that you're happy.
743
00:28:04,762 --> 00:28:06,932
I see you took my advice
on this spot?
744
00:28:07,011 --> 00:28:08,351
Yeah, yeah, I did.
745
00:28:08,428 --> 00:28:10,468
Again, I...owe you.
746
00:28:10,553 --> 00:28:11,683
Big.
747
00:28:11,762 --> 00:28:13,012
Yeah.
748
00:28:37,595 --> 00:28:40,295
♪ upbeat synth music ♪
50325
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