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Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
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Wow.
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Fuck.
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♪ Muggy nights ♪
5
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♪ The curtains drawn ♪
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♪ In the little room downstairs ♪
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♪ Prima... prima donna, Lord ♪
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♪ You really should've been there ♪
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♪ Sittin' like a princess perched ♪
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♪ In her electric chair ♪
11
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♪ And it's one more beer ♪
12
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♪ And I don't hear you ♪
13
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♪ Anymore ♪
14
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♪ We've all gone crazy lately ♪
15
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♪ My friends out there ♪
16
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♪ Rollin' round the basement floor ♪
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♪ Ooh ♪
18
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♪ Oo... ♪
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♪ Ooh ♪
20
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♪ Someone saved my life tonight ♪
21
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♪ Sugar bear ♪
22
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♪ Almost had your hooks in me ♪
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♪ Didn't you, dear? ♪
24
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♪ You nearly ♪
25
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♪ Had me roped and tied ♪
26
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♪ Altar-bound, hypnotized ♪
27
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♪ Sweet freedom whispered in my ear ♪
28
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♪ You're a ♪
29
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♪ Butterfly ♪
30
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♪ And butterflies are free to fly ♪
31
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♪ Fly away ♪
32
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♪ High away ♪
33
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♪ Ah... ♪
34
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♪ Bye... ♪
35
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♪ Bye... bye. ♪
36
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Here we go.
37
00:03:18,873 --> 00:03:21,526
I'm getting the worst hands.
38
00:03:21,611 --> 00:03:24,430
- Me too.
- Uh-oh. Don't say those words.
39
00:03:24,514 --> 00:03:26,765
The PC police might show up
and arrest me
40
00:03:26,849 --> 00:03:30,335
for playing cards alone
with you three gorgeous women.
41
00:03:32,487 --> 00:03:34,936
I think all this Me Too stuff is good.
42
00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:37,342
Seeing all those horrible men
being taken down.
43
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:40,111
Lord knows I wish
my Daddy would be around
44
00:03:40,195 --> 00:03:41,580
to get his reckoning.
45
00:03:41,664 --> 00:03:43,348
Oh, things used to be so different.
46
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,903
I'd probably be in prison
for ten life sentences.
47
00:03:49,404 --> 00:03:51,155
Kidding. Just kidding.
48
00:03:51,239 --> 00:03:53,558
Can't even joke anymore?
49
00:03:53,642 --> 00:03:55,993
Whenever a man would pinch my behind,
50
00:03:56,077 --> 00:03:58,230
I took it as a compliment.
51
00:03:58,314 --> 00:04:00,998
And I would pinch him right back.
52
00:04:03,152 --> 00:04:06,538
My sexuality was my greatest asset.
53
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,130
I didn't have higher education.
I couldn't type.
54
00:04:09,214 --> 00:04:12,176
And yet I got hired
for every job I ever applied to,
55
00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:14,146
and I knew it was because
of the way I looked.
56
00:04:14,230 --> 00:04:15,581
- Mm...
- Mm-hmm.
57
00:04:16,566 --> 00:04:18,216
Hi!
58
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,252
- Hi!
- Hi!
59
00:04:20,336 --> 00:04:21,519
Hmm.
60
00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:23,754
- Mm.
- Mm.
61
00:04:23,838 --> 00:04:25,389
Phil?
62
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:27,992
- What?
- Phil, it's today.
63
00:04:28,076 --> 00:04:29,194
- Mm-mmm.
- It's today.
64
00:04:29,278 --> 00:04:31,414
We're not putting it off anymore.
65
00:04:31,498 --> 00:04:33,331
Give me your spit.
66
00:04:33,415 --> 00:04:34,533
What is that?
67
00:04:34,617 --> 00:04:36,490
I think it's a DNA test.
68
00:04:36,574 --> 00:04:37,844
No, I don't want to.
69
00:04:37,928 --> 00:04:41,874
And the advances of my coworkers
were just part of it.
70
00:04:41,958 --> 00:04:42,941
Part of what?
71
00:04:43,025 --> 00:04:44,076
Not your business.
72
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,576
Okay. That's fine.
73
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,211
Let's go. Come on.
74
00:04:47,295 --> 00:04:49,715
Let's just do it today.
You guys don't mind for one sec?
75
00:04:49,799 --> 00:04:51,216
She promised me she would do this.
76
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:53,352
- Spit in here.
- Stop it!
77
00:04:53,436 --> 00:04:54,752
Spit in here. It'll be fun.
78
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,321
No!
79
00:04:56,405 --> 00:04:58,624
It does not sound fun to me.
80
00:04:58,708 --> 00:05:01,959
I have no interest in some Irish
third cousin I've never heard of
81
00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:04,228
tracking me down,
trying to get money out of me.
82
00:05:04,312 --> 00:05:06,764
This is so annoying!
You said you would do this.
83
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,766
I'm not going to do it.
84
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,134
- You're gonna do it.
- I'm not going to.
85
00:05:09,218 --> 00:05:10,802
- I'm gonna get you.
- You're not.
86
00:05:10,886 --> 00:05:12,237
- Goddamn it, Phil.
- I am not...
87
00:05:12,321 --> 00:05:14,305
Phil, stay!
88
00:05:14,389 --> 00:05:15,641
- No!
- Phil,
89
00:05:15,725 --> 00:05:18,110
- stop it!
- I'm not going to do it!
90
00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:20,345
Phil, you want me to chase you?
91
00:05:20,429 --> 00:05:21,379
I will chase you.
92
00:05:21,463 --> 00:05:22,381
- You'll never catch me.
- We're not...
93
00:05:22,465 --> 00:05:23,447
Phyllis!
94
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:24,816
You w... Phil, you...
95
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,050
- Mom!
- No!
96
00:05:26,134 --> 00:05:27,586
- Phyllis!
- What?!
97
00:05:27,670 --> 00:05:30,288
This is silly.
98
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,156
You are such a child.
99
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,158
- Phil! Goddamn it!
- I'm not going to. No!
100
00:05:34,242 --> 00:05:35,927
- I'm not going. No.
- Fine.
101
00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:37,429
I'm not letting you through.
102
00:05:37,513 --> 00:05:38,797
No. Mom.
103
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,798
I'm taking you down.
104
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,569
- Mom, give me your spit!
- Ow!
105
00:05:43,653 --> 00:05:44,535
- Stop.
- What?
106
00:05:44,619 --> 00:05:46,405
Okay. Spit!
107
00:05:46,489 --> 00:05:47,471
Ooh.
108
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,006
Not just one spit.
109
00:05:49,090 --> 00:05:50,275
You got to fill the whole vial.
110
00:05:53,828 --> 00:05:55,747
Jesus, I may puke.
111
00:05:55,831 --> 00:05:57,014
I may puke.
112
00:05:57,098 --> 00:05:58,283
Just do it.
113
00:06:06,826 --> 00:06:09,461
There! Go away! For God's sake.
114
00:06:09,545 --> 00:06:11,129
Jesus.
115
00:06:11,213 --> 00:06:13,732
I'd better be Samoan or something cool,
116
00:06:13,816 --> 00:06:15,266
worth doing this for.
117
00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:16,468
Bye!
118
00:06:16,552 --> 00:06:17,500
- Bye.
- Bye.
119
00:06:17,584 --> 00:06:21,506
Hey, Sam. What do you call
Jewish girls who won't give blow jobs?
120
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,841
Married. Ha!
121
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:25,143
Good one, Hal!
122
00:06:25,227 --> 00:06:27,713
See? She doesn't mind.
123
00:06:27,797 --> 00:06:29,814
Oh, my God.
124
00:06:29,898 --> 00:06:31,316
You're a dirty old man.
125
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,317
- Eh.
- I like it.
126
00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:41,559
After seeing three other doctors,
127
00:06:41,643 --> 00:06:43,461
only Dr. Ballinger
128
00:06:43,545 --> 00:06:46,331
was able to make me pain-free again.
129
00:06:46,415 --> 00:06:49,201
Dr. Ballinger is a miracle worker.
130
00:06:53,088 --> 00:06:55,591
Thank you.
131
00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,852
What are you in for?
132
00:07:06,936 --> 00:07:10,055
Eh, wear and tear.
133
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,391
I don't got a good story.
134
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:13,725
Same.
135
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:16,360
When did your hands start to go bad?
136
00:07:16,444 --> 00:07:18,095
When I was about, uh,
137
00:07:18,179 --> 00:07:19,720
78, 79.
138
00:07:19,804 --> 00:07:21,617
Not too long ago.
139
00:07:22,951 --> 00:07:25,903
So, wh-what should we do?
140
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,072
Oh, man. I'm-I'm...
141
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,341
I think I'm a little emotional.
142
00:07:30,425 --> 00:07:33,578
It took me six months to get
this appointment.
143
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,180
Why'd you wait so long?
144
00:07:35,264 --> 00:07:36,773
Because you...
145
00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:40,951
Anyway, I'm here now, so...
146
00:07:41,035 --> 00:07:42,888
I will do whatever it takes.
147
00:07:42,972 --> 00:07:44,723
I know you're the miracle worker.
148
00:07:44,807 --> 00:07:46,290
Whatever you want to do...
149
00:07:46,374 --> 00:07:47,826
P.T., O.T.,
150
00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:49,261
supplements, steroids.
151
00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:51,263
Well,
152
00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:54,566
this side is mild to moderate,
153
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:58,002
and this is moderate to severe.
154
00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:00,639
Mm.
155
00:08:00,723 --> 00:08:04,747
Your hands are much older than you are.
156
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,410
Oh.
157
00:08:06,494 --> 00:08:09,531
- May I touch you?
- Yeah.
158
00:08:10,566 --> 00:08:11,482
This hurt?
159
00:08:11,566 --> 00:08:12,951
Ow. Yeah.
160
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:14,819
Mm.
161
00:08:14,903 --> 00:08:16,254
How about this?
162
00:08:16,338 --> 00:08:19,175
Yeah.
163
00:08:20,607 --> 00:08:22,842
Mm-hmm. Yup.
164
00:08:23,478 --> 00:08:25,647
Your muscles have atrophied.
165
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:30,401
Jesus. Well, what about
physical therapy?
166
00:08:30,485 --> 00:08:32,604
Won't help. Listen, I'm a surgeon.
167
00:08:32,688 --> 00:08:34,672
I would love to go in there and cut,
168
00:08:34,756 --> 00:08:37,475
but your hand could wind up like this.
169
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,277
Well, what about
all the patient testimonials
170
00:08:39,361 --> 00:08:40,914
in the waiting room?
171
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:43,782
How am I supposed to function
without opposable thumbs?
172
00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:46,150
I'm sorry, Sam.
The technology just isn't here
173
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,930
for what you've got, yet.
174
00:08:48,014 --> 00:08:50,121
You are a lot younger than your hands.
175
00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:52,823
Jesus.
176
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:56,695
That's the first time in forever
anyone ever said I was young.
177
00:08:57,196 --> 00:08:59,464
This blows dead donkey dicks.
178
00:08:59,548 --> 00:09:01,298
Well, you don't need hands for that.
179
00:09:03,953 --> 00:09:05,362
It's true.
180
00:09:10,059 --> 00:09:11,308
Yello?
181
00:09:11,392 --> 00:09:13,177
Sam, quick thought.
182
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,813
I spoke with my producers,
and we want to move you up.
183
00:09:15,897 --> 00:09:17,983
Oh, wow. Really?
184
00:09:18,067 --> 00:09:20,685
Yeah, you know, I can't
stop thinking about you, and then
185
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,355
I started thinking about me.
I just got tired of being
186
00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:24,889
some gun for hire, you know?
187
00:09:24,973 --> 00:09:28,726
I mean, fuck, I'm gonna be
30 in, like, five minutes.
188
00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:29,999
Yeah.
189
00:09:30,083 --> 00:09:31,797
You need to prepare yourself, Sam.
190
00:09:31,881 --> 00:09:34,633
You're gonna wake up and be 50,
and then what are you gonna do?
191
00:09:34,717 --> 00:09:36,033
Well,
192
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:39,538
I hadn't actually thought about that.
193
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:42,474
I mean, you need to have
something of your own, right?
194
00:09:42,558 --> 00:09:44,475
Because if we don't come up with it,
195
00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:46,477
then nobody else is gonna goddamn do it.
196
00:09:46,561 --> 00:09:47,845
Yeah.
197
00:09:47,929 --> 00:09:49,480
Fuck, yeah.
198
00:09:49,564 --> 00:09:51,015
And I'm aware of the irony here,
199
00:09:51,099 --> 00:09:52,854
that technically you're my hired gun.
200
00:09:52,938 --> 00:09:53,717
That's okay.
201
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,253
I'm okay with irony.
202
00:09:55,337 --> 00:09:58,156
But I really want you
to make this your own thing.
203
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,874
I think you are brilliant,
204
00:09:59,958 --> 00:10:01,860
and I want that Sam Fox brilliant brain
205
00:10:01,944 --> 00:10:03,928
splattered all over my show.
206
00:10:04,012 --> 00:10:06,908
Wow. That is cool.
207
00:10:06,992 --> 00:10:08,533
Hey, can you say that shit
208
00:10:08,617 --> 00:10:11,202
about how brilliant
you think I am to my daughters?
209
00:10:11,286 --> 00:10:13,705
See? Fucking hilarious!
210
00:10:13,789 --> 00:10:15,429
I am so excited.
211
00:10:15,513 --> 00:10:17,609
I discovered you.
I want everybody to know
212
00:10:17,693 --> 00:10:19,211
that you never existed
before this moment.
213
00:10:19,295 --> 00:10:20,611
It's gonna be amazing.
214
00:10:20,695 --> 00:10:22,547
Think of some ideas,
and then we'll chat.
215
00:10:22,631 --> 00:10:26,035
I cannot even begin to tell you
how excited I am about this.
216
00:10:58,071 --> 00:10:59,242
Whoa.
217
00:11:01,469 --> 00:11:03,439
O... kay.
218
00:11:04,839 --> 00:11:07,826
Okay, boy. Okay, boy.
219
00:11:08,693 --> 00:11:10,361
Okay, boy.
220
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,599
Get somebody to...
221
00:11:16,084 --> 00:11:18,470
Is it gone?
222
00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:21,005
- Nope.
- Why isn't it leaving?
223
00:11:21,089 --> 00:11:23,926
It's probably just scared.
224
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:29,080
Maybe it got a letter
from Hogwarts. Heh!
225
00:11:29,164 --> 00:11:32,182
Mom, this is serious.
An owl in the house is bad luck.
226
00:11:32,266 --> 00:11:34,753
Don't say that!
227
00:11:34,837 --> 00:11:37,522
So, owls have traditionally been
seen as a harbinger of death,
228
00:11:37,606 --> 00:11:41,025
but they can also be a sign
of change and fertility.
229
00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:42,744
So which is it?
230
00:11:44,012 --> 00:11:45,730
We should take the snake out.
231
00:11:45,814 --> 00:11:48,605
- Owls eat snakes, shit licker.
- Not baby ones.
232
00:11:48,689 --> 00:11:49,634
Oh, so you want
233
00:11:49,718 --> 00:11:51,536
- to murder a baby owl?
- Nuh-uh.
234
00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:52,937
That ain't no baby owl.
235
00:11:53,021 --> 00:11:54,773
No, I just want to s... scare it off.
236
00:11:54,857 --> 00:11:56,408
You want me to go get my dad?
237
00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:58,943
I'm gonna go get my dad.
238
00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:13,977
Did she just go in there?
239
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:17,913
Uh...
240
00:12:20,248 --> 00:12:22,866
Why do you have "penis" on the wall?
241
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,287
We have a lot of penises on the wall.
242
00:12:27,655 --> 00:12:29,673
We should really...
243
00:12:29,757 --> 00:12:31,976
take the penises off the wall.
244
00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:34,379
It's not good with company, you know?
245
00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:37,382
Hi. I'm Duke.
246
00:12:49,178 --> 00:12:51,595
I promise I'll be careful
247
00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:55,533
if you promise not to peck my eyes out.
248
00:13:09,363 --> 00:13:12,417
Take the penises off the wall.
249
00:13:15,471 --> 00:13:16,720
Oh!
250
00:13:18,973 --> 00:13:21,725
- Wow.
- Whoa.
251
00:13:21,809 --> 00:13:23,227
Cool.
252
00:13:23,311 --> 00:13:25,562
Gosh, look at its little beak.
253
00:13:25,646 --> 00:13:27,765
Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah.
254
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,466
- What?
- You don't touch it.
255
00:13:29,550 --> 00:13:31,869
With the finger oil,
his mother may kill him
256
00:13:31,953 --> 00:13:33,904
or not come back or something.
257
00:13:33,988 --> 00:13:35,407
Actually, Mom, that's a myth.
258
00:13:35,491 --> 00:13:37,642
You just want to be careful,
you don't want to hurt it.
259
00:13:37,726 --> 00:13:39,143
Mm.
260
00:13:42,997 --> 00:13:45,749
Oh, my God.
261
00:13:45,833 --> 00:13:47,951
Be careful. So soft.
262
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,523
All right, little guy,
263
00:13:51,607 --> 00:13:54,759
we got to get you back where you belong.
264
00:13:54,843 --> 00:13:57,494
Okay, I got to, like, call...
265
00:13:57,578 --> 00:13:59,812
Animal Control or something.
266
00:13:59,896 --> 00:14:00,765
We should name it first.
267
00:14:00,849 --> 00:14:03,668
- What should we name it?
- What's his name? Edwin.
268
00:14:03,752 --> 00:14:05,070
- Edwin.
- Oh, my God. It's perfect.
269
00:14:05,154 --> 00:14:07,172
Edwin. Oh, my God.
270
00:14:07,256 --> 00:14:09,474
Edwin, oh, my God. Edwin, Edwin, Edwin.
271
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,810
- The softest thing in the world.
- Okay, let's get him
272
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,244
- to... because...
- Be careful. Be careful.
273
00:14:13,328 --> 00:14:14,645
- Be careful. Be careful.
- I got it.
274
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,429
- Oh, my God.
- You're like his mommy.
275
00:14:16,514 --> 00:14:17,633
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
276
00:14:20,702 --> 00:14:21,985
Hi, José.
277
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:23,654
Hey. Hi, Sam.
278
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,023
Hi.
279
00:14:25,752 --> 00:14:27,024
Everything okay?
280
00:14:27,108 --> 00:14:29,094
Uh, yeah, yeah.
281
00:14:29,178 --> 00:14:30,395
The pets are fine.
282
00:14:30,479 --> 00:14:32,529
It's just that I had them
take away the girls.
283
00:14:32,613 --> 00:14:33,932
Couldn't housebreak 'em.
284
00:14:35,153 --> 00:14:37,134
- Uh, Reinita's behaving herself?
- Oh, yeah.
285
00:14:37,218 --> 00:14:38,802
She's the best. I'm keeping her.
286
00:14:38,886 --> 00:14:41,206
Ah. She made a list
for me the other day.
287
00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:44,842
All the colleges she wants
to go to... all out of state.
288
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,878
- Whoa.
- And she said, "Papi, if I get
289
00:14:46,962 --> 00:14:48,859
into these schools,
can you help pay for them?"
290
00:14:48,943 --> 00:14:49,899
What can I say to that?
291
00:14:49,983 --> 00:14:51,182
I want to give her everything, you know?
292
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,984
Yeah, she's a really great kid.
293
00:14:53,068 --> 00:14:55,519
Yeah. Between that
and her quinceañera next month,
294
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:58,487
my wife thinks we should move
to Phoenix to save money.
295
00:14:58,571 --> 00:15:00,591
- Really?
- Yeah. What am I supposed to do for work?
296
00:15:00,675 --> 00:15:02,446
Nothing grows there.
297
00:15:02,530 --> 00:15:06,021
You know, maybe we should team up.
298
00:15:06,851 --> 00:15:07,831
What do you mean?
299
00:15:07,915 --> 00:15:10,268
Frankie was talking
about doing one of those...
300
00:15:10,352 --> 00:15:12,202
- A quinceañera?
- Yeah.
301
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,671
But a-aren't you guys Jewish?
302
00:15:13,755 --> 00:15:15,507
- Mm.
- I mean, even though I do
303
00:15:15,591 --> 00:15:17,142
bring you a Christmas tree
every Hanukkah.
304
00:15:17,226 --> 00:15:18,876
Yeah. Heh!
305
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,147
No, I mean, is that weird? Is that bad?
306
00:15:22,231 --> 00:15:25,383
They're a lot of fun. She should.
307
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,351
Hey, have you seen your new trees?
308
00:15:27,435 --> 00:15:30,220
Grapefruit, Meyer lemon and kumquat.
309
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,157
- You like the pots?
- They're so gorgeous!
310
00:15:32,241 --> 00:15:34,769
- Yeah?
- Thank you, José. I love it.
311
00:15:34,853 --> 00:15:36,094
- Of course.
- José?
312
00:15:36,178 --> 00:15:37,394
I'm so glad you haven't left.
313
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,364
- Oh, hi.
- It seems
314
00:15:39,448 --> 00:15:42,422
you've pruned the wrong branches
on my plum tree.
315
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:43,649
- ¿Qué?
- Mm?
316
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:45,503
- I'm pretty sure I didn't.
- Afraid you did.
317
00:15:45,587 --> 00:15:46,937
Okay. I'll go check it out then.
318
00:15:47,021 --> 00:15:48,373
- No, no, no, no.
- What?
319
00:15:48,457 --> 00:15:49,474
- What are you doing?
- What?
320
00:15:49,558 --> 00:15:50,874
- It's not your day.
- I know that,
321
00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:53,278
but he likes my latkes.
Come along, José.
322
00:15:53,362 --> 00:15:55,212
- No.
- She made it a little weird.
323
00:15:55,296 --> 00:15:57,472
Oh, my God!
324
00:15:57,556 --> 00:15:59,082
That's so rude.
325
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,884
- Sam, I got it.
- He won't be long.
326
00:16:00,968 --> 00:16:02,253
- Ugh.
- I'm coming, Phil.
327
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,421
- Phil!
- Good, good.
328
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,889
- Be nice!
- I will!
329
00:16:08,309 --> 00:16:09,931
Is this the Meyer lemon?
330
00:16:10,016 --> 00:16:12,553
Oh, I love it.
331
00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:17,329
Mom! Mom!
332
00:16:17,886 --> 00:16:20,938
Mom, can Pepper start the El Camino?
333
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,407
Just-just start it.
334
00:16:22,491 --> 00:16:24,908
Oh, God. Geez!
335
00:16:24,992 --> 00:16:26,744
Say yes, Sam!
336
00:16:26,828 --> 00:16:28,078
Oh, God.
337
00:16:28,162 --> 00:16:29,581
Just don't tell your mom!
338
00:16:29,665 --> 00:16:32,115
- Oh, my God!
- I know!
339
00:16:33,968 --> 00:16:35,570
Go, go!
340
00:16:37,606 --> 00:16:39,123
Your chariot, miss.
341
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:42,245
Oh, thank you kindly.
342
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,044
What happened? What happened?
343
00:17:01,128 --> 00:17:03,081
What happened?
344
00:17:03,165 --> 00:17:04,482
Oh, okay.
345
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,450
Let me see. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
346
00:17:06,534 --> 00:17:08,453
Raise your hand in the air.
347
00:17:08,537 --> 00:17:10,821
I got you. I got you. It's okay.
348
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:13,725
Okay. It's okay, sweetie. It's okay.
349
00:17:13,809 --> 00:17:15,025
Let me just wrap it up.
350
00:17:15,109 --> 00:17:17,160
What is wrong with you?!
351
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,629
I'm sorry, I can't help it.
352
00:17:18,713 --> 00:17:20,331
Get a towel!
353
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:22,065
- Is it bad?
- It's okay, baby. No.
354
00:17:22,149 --> 00:17:23,735
- Honey, honey, just calm down.
- Ow! Ow!
355
00:17:23,819 --> 00:17:26,437
Lay your head back.
Lay your head back. Yeah.
356
00:17:26,521 --> 00:17:28,106
You just cut it a little bit, sweetie.
357
00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:29,706
Yes. It's okay.
358
00:17:29,790 --> 00:17:32,043
- It's okay.
- Mom, is it "qualm with"
359
00:17:32,127 --> 00:17:34,212
or "qualm about"? Mom!
360
00:17:34,296 --> 00:17:37,715
Frankie, call Pepper's mom!
361
00:17:37,799 --> 00:17:40,985
- It's okay, honey.
- Mom, Chewy's got something.
362
00:17:41,069 --> 00:17:42,853
Chewy, release!
363
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:44,656
What is that? Come here, come here.
364
00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:46,556
Duke, Duke, where are the keys?
365
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,626
- Duke, where are the keys?!
- I don't know.
366
00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:50,093
Looks like a worm or something.
367
00:17:50,177 --> 00:17:52,429
- Duke.
- Pepper has them.
368
00:17:52,513 --> 00:17:54,131
- Okay. Okay.
- He swallowed it.
369
00:17:54,215 --> 00:17:55,899
Oh. Oh, God.
370
00:17:55,983 --> 00:17:57,467
Oh, shit.
371
00:17:57,551 --> 00:17:58,503
Oh, Jesus.
372
00:17:58,587 --> 00:17:59,971
It's okay. That's fine.
373
00:18:00,055 --> 00:18:01,839
That's fine. No, no, no, no, no.
374
00:18:01,923 --> 00:18:03,675
Don't look at that.
Don't look at... Pepper?
375
00:18:03,759 --> 00:18:05,075
Pepper! Okay.
376
00:18:05,159 --> 00:18:06,661
Frankie!
377
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,546
Good boy. What a good poop.
378
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,014
Yes, a good poop.
379
00:18:11,098 --> 00:18:12,516
Good boy. Who made a good poop?
380
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,584
- Mom, where's my black dress?
- What?
381
00:18:14,668 --> 00:18:16,754
- Like, with the neck.
- Check your closet.
382
00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:18,822
No, it's not there,
and I have to go to work.
383
00:18:18,906 --> 00:18:20,558
Well, I'm sorry. I'm kind of busy
384
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:23,093
'cause I have to sift through
Chewy's shit right now,
385
00:18:23,177 --> 00:18:24,361
so maybe you can look yourself?
386
00:18:24,445 --> 00:18:26,597
- Ew, Mom. That's disgusting.
- Yeah,
387
00:18:26,681 --> 00:18:28,149
and she's probably gonna
have to put him down, too.
388
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:28,850
What?!
389
00:18:28,934 --> 00:18:30,735
- Frankie!
- He tasted human flesh.
390
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,003
Mom, you can't kill Chewy.
391
00:18:32,087 --> 00:18:33,204
- Nobody's killing Chewy.
- Mom,
392
00:18:33,288 --> 00:18:35,540
- I'm gonna be late.
- So wear something else.
393
00:18:35,624 --> 00:18:38,042
I can't wear something else
'cause I have my period.
394
00:18:38,126 --> 00:18:40,144
Max, can you just check the laundry room
395
00:18:40,228 --> 00:18:42,045
because, I'm sorry, full disclosure,
396
00:18:42,129 --> 00:18:44,081
I forgot to put the load in last night.
397
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,083
- Sorry.
- Mom, the laundry?
398
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,218
And, Duke, no one's killing anyone.
399
00:18:48,302 --> 00:18:50,254
- Promise?
- Yes, I promise.
400
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,491
Chewy's gonna be around for a long time.
401
00:18:52,575 --> 00:18:55,092
Unless that coyote comes back, you know.
402
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:56,460
You know, Mom, if you don't
403
00:18:56,544 --> 00:18:58,029
do the laundry and we think you are,
404
00:18:58,113 --> 00:18:59,629
it's kind of messed up.
405
00:18:59,713 --> 00:19:00,849
I was counting on that to be clean.
406
00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:03,400
So sorry.
407
00:19:03,484 --> 00:19:05,269
Oh, my God.
408
00:19:05,806 --> 00:19:07,909
I didn't check the laundry.
409
00:19:13,228 --> 00:19:14,745
Mom, get out.
410
00:19:14,829 --> 00:19:17,314
Oh, my God. Nothing fits.
I'm so bloated.
411
00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:20,083
I'm sorry that you feel bad,
412
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:23,087
but you have to learn
to rein this shit in, okay?
413
00:19:23,171 --> 00:19:26,757
I never took my period out
on anybody the way that you do.
414
00:19:26,841 --> 00:19:28,091
Oh, mm, sorry, Mom.
415
00:19:28,175 --> 00:19:29,659
Maybe I should just go, like,
lay down in my trailer,
416
00:19:29,743 --> 00:19:31,262
- right?
- What?
417
00:19:31,346 --> 00:19:32,929
This is actual work,
418
00:19:33,013 --> 00:19:34,799
Mom. I have to be on my feet all night.
419
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,066
It's not like some movie set.
420
00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:38,535
Max, I know you're a little stressed out
421
00:19:38,619 --> 00:19:41,171
and this is your first job,
but that doesn't mean
422
00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:44,042
you get to be super shitty to me
whenever you want.
423
00:19:44,126 --> 00:19:46,823
Mom, I'm not being super shitty.
You're so dramatic.
424
00:19:46,907 --> 00:19:48,931
I can't believe I still have
to put up with this bullshit.
425
00:19:49,998 --> 00:19:52,358
You realize
you live here rent-free, right?
426
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:54,619
- You do realize that?
- Oh, you want me to go?
427
00:19:54,703 --> 00:19:57,287
- I'll go. I am fucking gone.
- Good.
428
00:19:57,371 --> 00:19:58,523
The second I save up some money.
429
00:19:58,607 --> 00:20:00,526
You have a paycheck.
What's stopping you?
430
00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:01,793
You think I won't?
431
00:20:01,877 --> 00:20:03,127
Goodbye. Good.
432
00:20:03,211 --> 00:20:05,265
Your dirty dress is in the laundry room.
433
00:20:05,349 --> 00:20:06,798
My dad said I can live
with him whenever I want.
434
00:20:06,882 --> 00:20:09,199
Oh, that old chestnut. Perfect.
435
00:20:09,283 --> 00:20:12,136
- That's great. Go, go. Great.
- Great.
436
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:15,639
- Great. Great.
- Great. Great.
437
00:20:15,723 --> 00:20:18,382
You know what would be great, Max?
438
00:20:18,466 --> 00:20:19,903
If you helped me.
439
00:20:19,987 --> 00:20:22,609
It would be great if you helped me.
440
00:20:22,693 --> 00:20:24,881
If you cleaned up after yourself,
441
00:20:24,965 --> 00:20:26,183
that would be great.
442
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,479
If you helped me with your sisters,
443
00:20:28,563 --> 00:20:29,786
that would be great.
444
00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:31,155
Kids aren't supposed to help their mom.
445
00:20:31,239 --> 00:20:33,023
Their mom is supposed to help them.
446
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:35,325
Oh, is that the law? I didn't realize
447
00:20:35,409 --> 00:20:37,794
that I was breaking,
like, the mommy law.
448
00:20:37,878 --> 00:20:39,996
Yeah. And great job
you're doing, by the way, Mom.
449
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,199
You know, Frankie basically does
whatever the fuck she wants,
450
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:45,136
and I-I'm probably gonna
be fired now, so...
451
00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:47,839
Oh, yeah. I'm bad. That's bad.
452
00:20:47,923 --> 00:20:51,441
- I'm a bad mommy.
- No, you're a disaster, Mom.
453
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,212
And you don't always have to be so hard
454
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:57,032
just 'cause you don't know what
it's like to be a woman anymore.
455
00:21:00,164 --> 00:21:01,737
You cunt.
456
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,223
What?
457
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:07,757
You're a cunt, Max.
458
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,061
- I'm a cunt?
- Yep.
459
00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:11,553
You're a cunt.
460
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,563
You're a cunt.
461
00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:16,533
No, Max. You're a cunt.
462
00:21:16,617 --> 00:21:18,602
No, you're a cunt, Mom.
463
00:21:18,686 --> 00:21:20,571
No, you're a cunt, Max.
464
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,072
No, you're a fucking cunt, Mom.
465
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,774
- You're a fucking cunt, Max.
- No, you're a fucking cunt, Mom.
466
00:21:24,858 --> 00:21:26,677
You're a fucking cunt, Max.
467
00:21:26,761 --> 00:21:29,112
You're a big fucking cunt, Mom.
468
00:21:29,196 --> 00:21:30,926
You're a big fucking cunt,
469
00:21:31,010 --> 00:21:32,873
your sister's an asshole,
470
00:21:32,957 --> 00:21:34,851
and your other sister's great!
471
00:21:34,935 --> 00:21:36,914
Aw, thanks, Mom!
472
00:21:36,998 --> 00:21:38,206
Love you, Mom!
473
00:21:53,421 --> 00:21:54,897
Oh, my God.
474
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,078
I'm sorry.
475
00:22:01,162 --> 00:22:02,580
No.
476
00:22:02,664 --> 00:22:03,706
I am a cunt.
477
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,699
No. I'm a cunt.
478
00:22:06,501 --> 00:22:08,093
No, you're not.
479
00:22:08,730 --> 00:22:09,853
You're the best.
480
00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:11,664
And I am such a cunt.
481
00:22:12,339 --> 00:22:13,957
Well...
482
00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:19,663
My Uncle Sid called me a cunt.
483
00:22:19,747 --> 00:22:20,764
I was nine.
484
00:22:21,682 --> 00:22:22,934
Uncle Sid?
485
00:22:23,018 --> 00:22:24,410
He's dead now.
486
00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:27,204
Fuck you, Uncle Sid.
487
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,978
Aw.
488
00:22:35,690 --> 00:22:36,980
I love you.
489
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,082
And I love you.
490
00:22:39,166 --> 00:22:41,770
I don't want you to move out.
491
00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,406
But I do.
492
00:22:46,789 --> 00:22:48,102
So you shouldn't.
493
00:22:48,782 --> 00:22:51,062
But please move out soon.
494
00:22:51,146 --> 00:22:52,454
But don't.
495
00:22:55,096 --> 00:22:56,167
Oh, wow.
496
00:22:56,251 --> 00:22:57,334
What?
497
00:22:58,118 --> 00:22:59,603
I just realized
498
00:22:59,687 --> 00:23:01,805
you're gonna have
to go through this three times.
499
00:23:01,889 --> 00:23:03,808
Oh, Jesus Christ.
34174
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