Original subtitles

(male narrator) In the criminal justice system,

sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous.

In New York City,

the dedicated detectives who investigate

these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad

known as the Special Victims Unit.

These are their stories.

Good night.

(Cragen) Good night.

Good morning.

You get your confession?

Nine hours, guy held out for nine hours.

Well, the desk sergeant asked me to bring this up.

You want a cup of coffee?

Yeah, and two eggs over easy, some hash browns

and toast.

Coffee's fine.

"Have you seen this child?

"Missing, March 22nd, 1980.

Jeffrey Ronsen."

Jeffrey Ronsen?

Yeah, an old missing child flyer

and a photo of Yankee Clipper Park.

Somebody wrote an "X" in the right field corner.

Look at this.

"He is here."

(Cragen) Jeffrey Ronsen was seven when he disappeared in 1980.

We spent the entire spring trying to find him.

(Benson) Wasn't there a guy you liked for this?

Yeah, Lucas Biggs.

He played ball in the Independent League.

Liked to pick up little boys

and take 'em home for extra innings.

The day Jeffrey disappeared,

a dozen witnesses saw him talking to Biggs.

We just didn't have enough to make a collar.

I remember Biggs.

He got popped for a kidnap-murder down in Virginia.

He's on death row, right?

Not for long.

He's slated for execution next week.

Captain, we have something.

Got a hit off the ground penetrating radar,

started digging, found this...

Child's skull, buried face down.

(Benson) He's still got on his baseball jersey.

(Cragen) It's gotta be Jeffrey.

This is his neighborhood.

He played ball here.

Maybe leading us to the body was Biggs' way of getting

a stay of execution.

Virginia won't fry him if our case is active again.

If Biggs is behind this, he's got help on the outside.

Somebody hand-delivered that flyer and photo.

Which he coulda sent to anybody.

Why did he pick you?

These are Jeffrey Ronsen's dental records.

The two cavities and the missing baby tooth

match the remains.

How'd he die?

Probably a broken neck.

See the breaks here in C3 and C4.

[cell phone ringing]

Biggs suffocated the one boy he killed.

What's up?

Kid started screaming.

He held a hand over his mouth.

Breaking Jeffrey's neck doesn't fit his M.O.

I did say probably.

Jeffrey coulda been suffocated

and the vertebrae could've been broken postmortem

when the body was dumped.

I'll call the Ronsens, let them know

they'll have the remains first thing tomorrow.

(Stabler) Captain, that was Kathy.

She's at the hospital with Dickie.

They think it's appendicitis.

Go.

(Stabler) I'll check in with you later.

I'll set up surveillance at the funeral,

in case our tipster decides to show.

I'll call the family,

make sure they don't mind you crashing their wake.

(Benson) Mr. and Mrs. Ronsen, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you, Detective.

The guestbook's right here.

Please sign in before the service.

Thank you.

(man) She writes her name and the pen transmits

everything she wrote to our wireless receiver.

The magic of digital pens.

We just cross-reference the name with the original case files.

(Morales) "Ronald Hooper."

(Munch) Jeffrey's maternal uncle.

Lived in Seattle in 1980.

Tag him "low priority."

(Morales) "Deacon Brinn."

(Munch) Lived across the street from the Ronsens.

Was babysitting Jeffrey the night he disappeared.

Let him walk home by himself.

Deacon was the last person to see Jeffrey alive.

(Munch on radio) Liv, we're gonna have to interview Deacon

as soon as the service is over.

Copy that.

(Morales) I got another one. "Avery Shaw."

Played on Jeffrey's baseball team.

Week after Jeffrey disappeared, Avery remembered seeing

Biggs talking to Jeffrey.

(Morales) Hang on, what's he doing?

He's leaving.

I'll go talk to him.

'Scuse me.

Avery?

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Do I know you?

I'm Detective Benson. You left pretty quick.

I couldn't handle seeing all those people again.

I just wanted to say good-bye to my best friend.

You played baseball with Jeffrey Ronsen?

He played short, I played second.

We got a trophy once for turning

the most double plays in the season.

I can remember when we took that.

Jeffrey yelled at Deacon for getting his finger in the photo.

Deacon Brinn?

He was like our guardian.

He was older, so he'd walk us home.

Made sure we looked both ways before crossing.

Do you think finding Jeffrey's body will prove

who killed him?

We're looking for evidence. We're re-interviewing everyone.

Tell me about Lucas Biggs.

He had this huge stash of baseball cards.

Everybody from Reggie to Goose to Tekulve and...

He didn't look like a pervert. He was cool.

So you didn't think that he'd hurt Jeffrey?

Is that why it took you so long to go to the police

and tell 'em that you saw them together that day?

Everybody was blaming Deacon

for Jeffrey's disappearance.

I didn't want them to blame me.

(Deacon) Even my parents yelled at me

because I was the last person to see Jeffrey alive.

I thought it was my fault.

Why were you with Jeffrey that night?

I had to stay home and babysit him,

so our folks could go out to dinner,

like they did every Saturday.

I was 13. I wanted to go to parties.

I was sick of missing all the fun.

So I kicked him out of our house and told him to go home.

That doesn't make what happened to Jeffrey your fault.

Tell that to the Ronsens.

They haven't spoken to me

or my parents since 1980.

Even though they were the ones

that let that child molester Biggs into their home.

How did that happen?

Biggs' girlfriend was the Ronsens' housekeeper.

That's gotta be how he found out about Jeffrey.

(Benson) We got nothing from the funeral.

No unexpected guests.

No changes in anyone's statement.

Just a lotta people pointing the finger at Biggs.

I guess it's time to talk to the man himself.

I want you on the next flight to Virginia.

You really think he's gonna talk after all these years?

Maybe to you.

If he sent the map, it's an invitation.

(Biggs) Last time a cop came here,

he tried to pin the death of a boy from Louisville on me.

Where you from?

New York City.

You're a long way from home.

You must've heard they're gonna kill me next week.

Nothing like waiting till the last minute.

You know how many of your colleagues

tried to get me to admit that I killed Jeffrey Ronsen?

Twelve.

That'd make you 13.

Could be your lucky number.

Your girlfriend, Vivian...

she used to work for the Ronsens.

Now tell me, Lucas, is that a coincidence?

It was the first time I saw him.

I went to pick Viv up from work.

Jeffrey was running around naked.

Screaming about having to get in the bathtub.

His hair smelled like Mr. Bubbles.

Is that why you went to the ballpark

to lure him away with you?

I never lured him anywhere.

He wasn't my type.

You sure?

'Cause I think you went back to the ballpark that night, Lucas.

I think that you kidnapped Jeffrey Ronsen.

You molested him, and then you murdered him.

Listen to me carefully.

I never touched Jeffrey Ronsen.

Then how did you know where he was buried?

What are you talking about?

Why'd you send me these?

[chuckling]

You think it's funny?

Next Friday, they're gonna fry me like a piece of bacon.

Why would I send you these now?

So we'd find Jeffrey, the case stays alive

and so do you.

What you don't understand, Detective Benson,

is I'm ready to die.

I've made peace with my Lord.

He's forgiven me my sins.

And Jeffrey Ronsen isn't one of 'em.

Any luck?

Biggs wouldn't give it up.

So I guess he's gonna take it to his grave.

Jeffrey was seven.

The boy Biggs killed was older, right?

Yeah, he was 12.

So were the other kids that Biggs molested.

He likes pubescent boys not little kids.

Well, maybe Biggs never got caught with the smaller ones.

Younger the victim, less likely they are to talk.

Guess who's been drawing on Biggs' baseball pension

since he's been locked up.

One Vivian Tate.

Jeffrey Ronsen's old housekeeper.

Biggs' old girlfriend.

She's been living off of Biggs gravy train

for the last nine years.

The minute he kicks,

she's back to paying her own way.

That's a good reason to keep the ex-boyfriend alive.

If Vivian knew where Biggs buried Jeffrey,

she coulda led you to the body and Biggs woulda never known.

He stays alive, the cash keeps coming.

I'll go have a chat with her.

(Vivian) Biggs can't cash his pension check,

so I do it for him

and put a little spending money in his inmate account.

And then you keep the rest for yourself.

I didn't do nothing wrong. He owes me.

I lost a good job on account of him.

No one will hire me.

Because your boyfriend killed your boss' son.

He didn't kill Jeffrey.

Sure he did.

Just like he killed that boy in Virginia.

We couldn't prove it until you led us to Jeffrey's body.

I didn't lead you anywhere.

You sent me this map to his grave.

Tell me.

What happened? Guilty conscience get to you?

Have it your way.

Vivian Tate-- What the hell?

You're under arrest for grand larceny.

I didn't steal anything.

Look, most of that money went to pay his bills.

He's been in jail for nine years.

What bills could he have?

Lawyers for his appeal, his storage locker.

What storage locker?

(Benson) Oh, my God.

There's gotta be 100 baseball caps in here.

Trophies.

Each one from a different victim.

(Biggs) You had no right to touch those.

They gave 'em to me.

To remember them by.

And I remember them.

Their necks, their shoulders...

their bellies.

Always changing.

Turning from boys into men

right before my eyes.

Shelf six, cap number three,

that little kid with the cowlick.

From St. Louis.

Shelf two,

cap number four.

Little Mexican boy from El Paso.

Huh.

They were always there waiting for me in my room.

Waiting for me...

till I need 'em.

Tell me their names.

Only if I can touch them.

Take him back to his cell.

You know what we do with old evidence?

We burn it.

Big old incinerator.

Turns all this junk into ash in a heartbeat.

That--

That hat belongs to Randy Morgan.

October 17th, 1979.

Macon, Georgia.

I went three for four that afternoon.

Drove in two runs.

This could be fun.

Do you wanna go on?

Shelf two, cap number three.

Benny Giles.

July 31st, 1984.

Bethesda, Maryland.

I hit a walk-off double down the left field line.

Shelf six,

cap number three.

Freddy Rule.

June 1st, 1977. Tampa, Florida.

Larry Jones. July 12th. Charlotte.

Scott Blevins, September 29th, Providence.

Charlie Thomas. January 10th, 1982.

Marcus...

Johnny...

Drew...

Kenny...

Eli...

Bobby...

Jeremy...Johnny...Pete...

Floyd...Joey...Neil...

Patrick...Ethan...Effram... Zeke...

Alex...Daniel...Lance... Jeremy...

Eddie.

Riverside Eagles.

Jeffrey Ronsen.

I told you, I never touched Jeffrey.

Well, then whose hat is it?

March 2nd, 1980.

New York City.

Deacon Brinn.

Deacon Brinn was interviewed five times

after Jeffrey's disappearance.

He never said a word about being molested.

Not even after Richmond PD arrested Biggs.

You think Biggs is messing with us?

He had no way of knowing that we'd already ID'd 13 hats.

He gave us right names on all of them.

So where's Jeffrey's hat?

Maybe he wasn't wearing one.

Then tell me this, Doc.

Why didn't Deacon admit to Olivia that Biggs molested him?

When you've been lying to everyone for 25 years,

the lie becomes like a cancer.

It just keeps spreading until it's outta control.

By now it's bigger than he is.

He lied to his friends. He lied to his family.

He's been editing himself his whole life

just to keep up the lie.

That's incredibly isolating.

The secret always stands between you and the rest of the world.

Seems like giving it up would set him free.

He doesn't know how.

After 25 years, it's who he is.

Maybe it's not.

Deacon has to be the one who sent us this photo.

He and Jeffrey were friends.

They were both molested by Biggs.

I mean, it just makes sense.

(Cragen) The execution is next week.

Deacon can't stand the thought of Biggs dying

without confessing to Jeffrey's murder.

Deacon's been carrying this secret for 25 years.

How am I gonna get him to talk?

Tell him you already know.

(Benson) You recognize this hat?

(Deacon) That's the Riverside Eagles.

That was my baseball team.

Where'd you get that?

We found it in Biggs' storage locker.

He kept souvenirs of all the boys that he molested.

You were one of them.

He gave me tips, taught me how to hit a curveball.

I couldn't believe it when he invited me to his place.

He treated me like a grown-up.

We drank beers,

we watched dirty movies.

Then one day he did...

things to me.

He kept telling me that we weren't doing anything wrong,

but I knew we were.

That's why you sent me this photo.

How'd you know I sent it?

You just told me.

I should have told 25 years ago.

So do it now.

You're the victim here.

Deacon, you've been swallowing the truth all these years.

It's time to stop.

I went to Biggs' apartment

the night that Jeffrey disappeared.

I just needed somebody to talk to.

I saw him leaving, so I followed him to the ballpark.

He was carrying a big bag.

I saw him drop Jeffrey's body in the hole.

Then he saw me.

And he said he'd kill me if I told.

(Mrs. Ronsen) So you're convinced

Biggs did it?

(Novak) Mr. Ronsen, we have a witness who can help convict

Lucas Biggs of killing your son.

How long would a trial take?

Well, could take a year, maybe two.

That's years of going to court,

talking about what happened, answering questions.

Years Biggs gets

to spend eating, breathing, watching TV.

But in the end, at least you'll have the peace of mind

that comes with knowing that the man who killed your son

will pay for what he did.

We were out having a nice dinner while that man murdered our son.

Peace of mind won't be coming anytime soon.

(Mrs. Ronsen) We just want this to be over.

Don't stop the execution.

[door opens]

Olivia.

Get your coat.

Engineer called it in.

He thought he saw something go under the train.

The body was cut in two.

Deacon Brinn.

(Munch) That's his car over there.

Drove out to middle of nowhere [cell phone ringing]

and jumped in front of the train. [cell phone ringing]

He wasn't ready to deal with what Biggs did to him.

He's been burying it for so long.

He sent you that note because he wanted the truth to come out.

The truth about Jeffrey.

Not himself.

(Munch) That was O'Halloran.

He wants us at the lab.

(O'Halloran) Warner sent over everything she dug up

with Jeffrey Ronsen's bones.

The cotton clothing's long gone,

but his baseball jersey was acrylic.

It's pretty much intact.

The wonders of biodegradation.

But that can't be the reason why you called us down here.

This is. Found it stuck on Jeffrey Ronsen's shirt.

(Munch) What is it?

Bubble gum.

So Jeffrey was chewing gum when he died.

What's the significance?

Jeffrey wasn't chewing gum. His killer was.

Jeffrey was found face down.

Gum's right there on the front of Jeffrey's shirt.

So the killer spit out his gum

and tossed Jeffrey's body on top of it.

Not exactly.

Ever notice how kids love to play with their gum?

My ten-year-old nephew rolls it between his fingers

and smushes it before he throws it away.

So did our killer.

Now run that print through AFIS,

my name would come up in five seconds flat.

So whose print is on this gum?

Deacon Brinn.

Deacon killed Jeffrey Ronsen?

It wasn't shame that drove him to suicide.

It was guilt.

My victim is my perp.

Deacon killed Jeffrey Ronsen, and he got away with it.

He had a good life, a wife, and a kid.

There's no way he sent you a photo of Jeffrey's grave.

I screwed up. I showed him the photo and the map.

He knew he had to lie about 'em, so I wouldn't suspect

he'd killed Jeffrey.

But why kill his friend?

He was probably pretty close to the edge

after Biggs molested him.

Deacon was angry at Biggs, but he redirected that anger

towards Jeffrey, the younger version of himself.

It's called identification with the oppressor.

Did he simply kill Jeffrey or did he molest him too?

(Munch) I'll bet he molested him.

The kind of trauma Deacon suffered

can warp a victim's sexuality.

So Deacon doesn't want to be the victim anymore.

He becomes the victimizer.

Until someone put a bullet in him.

I thought he was killed by a train.

So did I till I X-rayed the body.

Nine millimeter slug in his heart.

I put time of death

around 10:00 last night,

two hours before the train hit him.

Could Deacon have shot himself?

(Warner) No residue on his hands.

Whoever killed him, put him on the tracks

to make it look like a suicide.

Maybe the same person that led me to Jeffrey's body.

Talk to Deacon's wife.

Find out where he was last night.

Deacon wasn't home.

(Benson) Where was he?

I don't know.

Zeke and I went out for pizza.

And I let him play video games until the place closed.

And what time did you get home?

It was, um... just after 10:00.

Did you hear from Deacon at all that night?

I called his cell phone

when we got back from the pizza place.

Zeke wouldn't go to bed without saying good night to his dad.

Was it unusual for Deacon to be out so late?

We were having problems.

Julia, it's important that you tell me.

I thought he was having an affair.

Did you confront him about this?

Six months ago.

He said that nothing was going on.

He just had some things he needed to figure out.

He said he needed some space, so he moved out.

Where to?

His old apartment.

He sublet it after we got married.

When things got bad he moved back in.

(Munch) No picture, no books.

Looks like Deacon used this place

as nothing but a crash pad.

Then why'd he keep his desk locked?

A bunch of mail.

Some addressed here.

Some addressed to the other house.

Love letters?

Hate mail.

"You're gonna pay for what you did."

Postmarked a month ago.

"Truth time."

Photo of Deacon and his family.

There's writing on the back.

"Before: the perfect American family.

The after version won't be as pretty."

Deacon's stalker knew about Jeffrey.

Probably sent me the flyer and the photo,

hoping that we'd collar Deacon.

Stalker knew about Biggs too.

Here's a clipping about Biggs' execution.

The stalker wrote on it.

"He owned you then, I own you now."

Deacon said he never told anyone about the abuse.

So who knew?

Pedophiles like to share their exploits.

Maybe Biggs bragged to our stalker about molesting Deacon.

(Benson) Somebody murdered Deacon Brinn.

Somebody who knew that you abused him.

I never abused Deacon or any of the boys.

I loved them.

Your love ruined their lives.

I didn't do anything wrong.

Come on, Lucas, you know that's not true.

What did I do wrong?

I was born with these feelings.

I don't know why I have them.

They were always there.

It wasn't exactly like I had a choice.

Neither did the 117 boys you molested.

I never hurt them.

It never hurt me.

You were abused.

My father left when I was a baby.

And when I was about nine,

this man moved across the street.

He was the only one I could talk to.

He loved me, he cared for me.

And touching me was how he showed it.

I'm sorry.

[crying]

[crash]

I never meant to hurt the boys.

Lucas.

Deacon Brinn is dead.

And the killer knew what you did to him.

Just tell me who you told.

No one.

There has to be somebody.

In jail, somebody who knew you back then.

Somebody who knew about you and Deacon.

There was a little boy.

He used to follow Deacon and Jeffrey around.

And Deacon used to look at him...

the way I looked at boys.

What was his name?

Avery.

His name was Avery.

Go, go, go, go!

Police.

Avery Shaw.

Bedroom's clear.

(Benson) John, in here.

Photos of Deacon's prom.

His college graduation.

Avery's been obsessed with Deacon for years.

Look at this.

Deacon's wedding announcement.

(Munch) Check this out.

A map of Queens

with all these different routes marked

leading to Deacon's house.

Copies of Jeffrey Ronsen's missing poster.

Just like the one he sent me.

Deacon's not the only one he's obsessed with.

"Special Victim, Special Cop."

(Munch) Avery's been stalking you too.

Liv, look at this.

Avery's childhood diaries from 1983

when he was ten.

"I wish I had superpowers hidden inside me.

"The kind that'd come out when I need them.

"Like the Hulk.

"I couldn't stop Deacon.

If I was the Hulk..."

"I could have smashed Deacon, pounded his head

"until blood came out and he was dead.

"But I'm just me, and I couldn't do anything

for me or for Jeffrey."

So Avery was there the night Jeffrey died.

According to Avery's diary, Jeffrey and Avery

were both at Deacon's house.

Deacon made the boys drink until they passed out.

Then Deacon raped Avery.

Jeffrey fought back and Deacon broke his neck.

Avery knew where Jeffrey was buried

because he saw it happen.

Worse. He made Avery help him dump the body

and told him that he was going to jail too

because he was there.

Avery's diaries end at 14.

But until then, it is all about Deacon.

"I shoulda stopped him.

"I can't wait till I'm bigger than him.

I wish he were dead."

(Cragen) Deacon ever rape him again?

Avery avoided Deacon in any way he could.

Even talks about killing himself.

Now he's gonna spend the rest of his life in jail for murder.

If we can find him.

No trace of him since Deacon's death.

Financials came in.

There's no activity on his credit cards or ATM.

Well, any flights, gas receipts, hotels?

Nothing.

But his bank records show a bunch of big checks

written to a woman in Manhattan.

$1000 made out to Kimber Faulk, cashed last week.

Same last month, same the month before.

Goes back at least a year.

He was paying her off.

Let's find out why.

(Kimber) This is Theo.

Avery's son.

Is that why he's sending you money?

Avery started supporting me

the day I found out I was pregnant.

Same day he left.

Said he couldn't handle being a dad.

Nice guy.

You don't know Avery.

He's the sweetest man I've ever known.

We were together for two years.

And the only thing we ever fought about was having kids.

You wanted them, he didn't.

At least he was honest about it.

When it came to having children, Avery didn't just have issues.

He had a subscription.

Someone really screwed him up when he was a kid.

How often do you talk to Avery?

We don't talk. He just sends money.

Avery try to and borrow any?

No.

So this $400 you took out of the ATM this morning,

that still in your wallet?

I spent it on groceries.

Nothing but formula.

Try again.

(Benson) You said that you never talked to Avery.

Why does your phone show four incoming calls

in the last two days?

(Benson) All from Avery.

Where's he, Kimber?

I don't know.

Tell us where to find him,

or I'll arrest you for aiding a fugitive.

What's gonna happen to Theo?

Social Services will take care of him.

Detectives, let her go. Please.

She doesn't have anything to do with this.

Stay back, stand back.

Don't hurt him.

Put your hands on your head.

Now!

I never meant for this to happen.

(Benson) Avery Shaw, you're under arrest for the murder of Deacon Brinn.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you

in a court of law. I'm sorry.

You have the right to an attorney...

I killed Deacon.

(Benson) Because he raped you when you were seven.

Yeah.

How did you know?

We searched your apartment.

And I read your diaries.

But, Avery, what I don't know

is why you sent these to me.

I thought you'd figure it out.

Arrest Deacon without involving me.

And then, you went after Biggs instead.

I couldn't let Deacon get away with it.

So you shot him?

Yes.

You coulda gone to anybody in this precinct

with what you knew.

Why me?

I read about you in the papers.

About how you never sleep when you're on a case.

About how your whole life is about helping kids.

Same with my partner, same with any of my colleagues.

You singled me out.

You stalked me for weeks.

Why?

There was just something about you.

I knew you would understand.

You and me, we're so alike-- No, we're not alike.

You killed a man.

So have you.

I didn't have a choice.

Neither did I.

I had to stop him from hurting any more kids.

You did it as payback for 25 years ago.

No.

I went to Deacon's apartment to confront him.

And he said he was sorry for what he did.

But he was lying.

He was still hurting children.

How do you know that?

When I went in there,

he was watching a tape.

And what was on the tape?

Deacon.

With a little boy.

John, call Crime Scene.

Have him meet you and Olivia at Deacon's, find that tape.

Okay.

If there is one.

Can you arraign Avery tonight?

Why do you care? He's a murderer.

Because he's also a victim.

Lights and siren, we might make it.

(woman) Ms. Conrad, how does your client plead?

Not guilty.

Guilty, Your Honor. I did it.

Mr. Shaw, please confer with your counsel.

I-I know what I'm doing.

I want to plead guilty.

We shoulda checked the VCR.

We're looking for leads on Deacon's murder,

not America's Skankiest Home Videos.

(Benson) Son of a bitch.

Not yet, okay.

Hey, why don't you come up and sit up on the couch. Come on.

It's more comfortable. There you go.

(Munch) He filmed it right here.

Where the hell's the camera?

From the angle of the tape, it's gotta be right there.

The air vent.

(Deacon) What do they call it? Dog fights.

Airplane goes--[whirling noise].

[Deacon laughing]

(Deacon) Yeah, I think this one...

Okay, we got a fiber optic camera here.

Connected to a DV recorder

and a motion detector.

Starts recording whenever the sensor's tripped.

I'd say when someone walks past the sofa.

And the recorder's wired to the TV.

Is there a tape in there? Yup.

Let's see who's Deacon's last victim was.

What the hell are you doing?

Something I shoulda done a long time ago.

Don't, don't, don't, please!

I went to Deacon Brinn's apartment last week

to see if he was still the monster I remembered.

(Avery) You molest your son

like that little boy?

No. No, no.

I would never do that to my son. I love him.

Like you loved me?

Wait, wait, please, just hear me out.

All right?

Avery, I never meant to hurt you.

You gotta believe me. Look, I did love you.

He kept lying, pretending like he gave a damn about me.

Just like he did 25 years ago.

Shut up!

I don't want to hear that!

Just tell me why you did it.

'Cause I was so pissed off at the world

after what Biggs did to me.

He said he raped me because he was confused,

messed up by the pervert who molested him.

(Deacon) Avery, I was drinking all the time,

I couldn't-- I couldn't tell my parents.

I hurt so bad.

And I just wanted someone else to hurt as bad as I did.

Why'd you choose me?

You needed a friend.

And I knew you'd never tell anyone.

And I ask him how many other boys

he'd abused over the years.

And he said dozens, maybe hundreds.

Look. You wanna kill me now, I understand.

But it's just not in you.

It's not who you are. You can't hurt anybody.

You just can't do it.

And I wanted to kill him right then and there.

But I knew I couldn't do it in the apartment,

so I forced him downstairs into his car.

And I made him drive to the train tracks.

And I shot him.

Avery didn't shoot Deacon.

[sobbing]

Fast-forward it.

(Benson) Hold on, stop, stop, stop.

[cell phone ringing]

Hello?

Don't do anything. I'll be right there.

(Munch) Where's he going with that gun?

(O'Halloran) We dumped the phones.

Only call Deacon got that night--

(Benson) Was from his wife.

Julia.

I thought you already arrested Deacon's killer.

We arrested Avery Shaw.

But he didn't kill your husband.

Then why did he confess?

He felt guilty for not stopping Deacon when he had the chance.

All those years of Avery keeping silent,

Deacon was molesting other boys.

We found tapes that he made in his apartment.

Dozens of victims.

I had no idea.

Yes, you did.

This is one of the tapes

that we found.

It's of your son.

I thought there was something wrong with me.

Deacon wouldn't touch me.

When I found out that Biggs had molested him,

suddenly it made sense.

And you thought about Zeke.

Zeke loves his dad so much.

And Deacon loved him.

I didn't want to ask, but I knew that I had to.

When?

At the pizza parlor.

I asked Zeke if daddy had ever touched him.

He started to cry. He said he promised not to tell.

So you went home.

You called Deacon.

I told him I was going to the police.

He said to wait,

that he was coming over.

When he came in, he had a gun.

He threatened to kill me.

Zeke woke up, started crying.

Deacon got distracted. I grabbed the gun.

I told him I would shoot him if he came near Zeke.

He said that he was going to move away.

That he wouldn't bother us anymore.

He walked out.

I followed him to his car.

I was thinking about what he did to Zeke.

And I couldn't help myself.

I forced him to drive to the train tracks.

Then I shot him.

(Avery) She doesn't deserve to go to jail.

I should have killed Deacon.

I started all this. I should have finished it.

Why now?

After all these years,

what made you want to end it now?

Kimber got pregnant, and I got scared.

I didn't want to hurt the baby.

Hurt the baby how?

Have you ever been afraid of what might be inside you?

What do you mean?

I can't help thinking

there's like a switch inside of me,

waiting to be flipped.

Just like it did in Deacon.

And I'd start hurting kids.

And that's why I left my son.

You're not a monster, Avery.

How do you know?

Because you didn't shoot Deacon.

Because you love your son so much

that you were willing to give him up to protect him.

And the truth is...

you didn't have to.

Go to Daddy.

There you go.

Go to Daddy.

You hear about Biggs?

Prison doc declared him dead 12:01 A.M.

No last words.

I guess he'd left enough of a legacy.

Yeah.

How's Dickie?

A handful.

He's demanding cookie dough ice cream

and Jacka 24/7.

Reminds me so much of me, it's scary.

Didn't know you were a Jackass fan.

I meant, getting what I want.

According to Kathy,

it's not one of my more endearing qualities.

Before you had kids, you ever worry what they'd be like?

All the time, I still do.

At least you and Kathy

know what you're passing on.

Half my genes are drunk

and the other half are violent and cruel.

Look how great you turned out.

It's not all about the genes, Liv.

All you can do is love your kids.

Good night.

[wolf howling]