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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,522 Nice! 2 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,709 I love this belt. 3 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,265 Only 30 minutes more TV. Okay, hon? 4 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,813 This lamp. Sweet. Oh. 5 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,318 Donnie's gonna be here any minute. 6 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,280 Yeah. Whoa. 7 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,736 Welcome home, Sean Floyd. 8 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,574 All right, Donnie's here. See you guys tomorrow. 9 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,658 All right, honey. 10 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,410 - Have fun camping, kiddo. - Bye! 11 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,414 Oh, yeah. Ah, Ooh. 12 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,082 Oh, my God. 13 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,375 Ooh. 14 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,418 Holy shit. 15 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,003 - What is this? - I don't know! 16 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,172 - Oh, my God. - Work! 17 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:13,467 - Just walk over, hit the button on the TV. - What are they doing? 18 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,052 Okay, I'll see you guys later. 19 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,638 What are you doing? 20 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,223 Dude, what are you doing? Are you serious? 21 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:24,102 Sean Floyd, back on American soil for one week only! 22 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,438 Dude, turn that off. My little brother is crying in there. 23 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,231 That's crazy porn. 24 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,399 She's a big girl. 25 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,443 What are you wearing? 26 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,071 They're my hiking shorts. 27 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,281 Why do those cover your belly button but not your balls? 28 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,992 What's that on your face? You spilled something on your face. 29 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,329 It looks like you drank a glass of Ed Sheeran's pubes. 30 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,207 In fact, the '80s nostalgia wave we're living in, it's about to crest. 31 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,459 When it does, I'm gonna be swimming in puss. Know why? 32 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,169 Are you growing a Narcos coke 'stache? 33 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,254 I am growing a Narcos coke 'stache, my friend. 34 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,964 - You're growing a coke 'stache. - Mm-hmm. 35 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,675 Donnie Escobar, right here. 36 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:55,592 - Wow. - That's right. 37 00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,303 How you doing, pal? 38 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,389 - I'm good. How are you? - Glad to have you back. 39 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,599 Ah, it's good to be back and... 40 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,309 Oh, we're hugging. 41 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,195 Oh, hey, dudes. 42 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,114 'Sup, Virgin Megastore? 43 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,366 - Excuse me? - Oh, shit. 44 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,702 - Hey, Mrs. Abelar. - Hey. 45 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:22,619 Hi. 46 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:26,039 Jeremy, what are you doing over there? 47 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,250 Jeremy! 48 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,211 I can see you are jerking off the walking stick! 49 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,546 Mom, I'm packing. 50 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:36,007 Your dad and I are leaving in an hour, and I want you out of here ASAP. 51 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,217 Okay, I'm going! 52 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,344 Oh, God, I so need this vacation. 53 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:41,888 Six hours, I'll be in Napa with a Zinfandel. 54 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,390 Bye, Mrs. Abelar. 55 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,808 Look who the fuck is back. 56 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,185 - What's up, man? - What's up, man? 57 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:51,273 - Yo, you dogs ready to get... - ...fucked up? 58 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,482 - Oh, yeah. - Show him the ID. 59 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,776 It's a military ID. 60 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,611 1991, dude. 61 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:59,239 - What? You buy stuff with this? - Fuck yeah, he does. 62 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,491 Jack Jessop reporting for booze. 63 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,826 You don't look like this guy. 64 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,453 This guy looks like a soldier. 65 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,163 You look like Pocahontas. 66 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,498 - No one says shit to an Army ranger. - All right. 67 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,418 I found this outside the booth at the gun and knife show 68 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,588 when I was picking up this bad boy. Check it out. Check it out. 69 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:15,589 Huh? 70 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:16,757 - Whoa. - Oh, shit. 71 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,799 Hoo-rah! 72 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,301 - Pretty tight, huh? - Yeah, it's cool. 73 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:22,512 This is in case we run into any crazy shit out in the woods. 74 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,474 - Like, fucking crazy shit! Shit. Fuck! - Whoa, man! 75 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,225 - I'm... Sorry, dude. - Come on, man. 76 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:31,021 I try to act like I'm riding a bike, but I still got the training wheels on. 77 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,397 - You feel me? - Yeah. 78 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,441 - Let's pack up the van. - Let's do it! 79 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:38,570 - Yeah, let's just get out of here. - Let's pack it up. Hit the road. 80 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,197 Why are there so many bags? 81 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,573 - What is all this shit? - Oh! 82 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:47,078 Uh... Yeah, there's a slight change of plans, dude. 83 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:50,332 It sucks total donkey dick. 84 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,834 - Stop going through my shit, perv. - Sarah? 85 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,337 No. No. No! 86 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,464 No, no. No way. No, no, no. 87 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,841 - For real? - Why does this feel so awkward? 88 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,927 Jeremy, did you not tell them that we were coming? 89 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,806 I was... I'm telling them now. Like, they're learning of it right now. 90 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,933 - Are you kidding? - They're coming. 91 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,018 Welcome back, Sean. 92 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,895 Hey! Hey, what's up? 93 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,607 - Do you not hug people anymore? - Oh, yeah, sorry. 94 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,108 - They don't hug in Germany? - Yeah. 95 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,945 Welcome back. I mean, I'm back. You're not back. 96 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,364 I'm just back for the next week. Hey, Sarah, what's up? 97 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,532 Were you really in Germany? 98 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,493 There was a rumor you were in rehab for bath salts. 99 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,578 - Everyone's talking about it. - What? No. 100 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,580 Nein! Nein! I was in Germany. Yeah. 101 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,415 Cool hiking gear. 102 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,209 Hmm? Oh. What? 103 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,419 - How'd that get tucked in? - Stop! 104 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,213 - You're ruining my bra! - I don't care. 105 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,549 This shit's expensive. Stop! 106 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:43,009 Jeremy said we're going six miles into the woods. 107 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:43,927 Yeah! 108 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,595 Yeah. I'm glad you're coming, though. 109 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,472 It's gonna be worth it when you see me twerking 110 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,182 with Mother Nature. 111 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:52,185 Are you gonna be twerking against a tree or... 112 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,354 - How does that work? - I don't know. 113 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,023 Excuse me! 114 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,317 This is supposed to be a bros trip. 115 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:02,279 So I need a group meeting. Now! Sean! 116 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,073 - Sounds mad. Yeah. - I gotta go. Um... 117 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:06,908 Bye. 118 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,871 Hey, did you guys know that people think I've been in rehab? 119 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:11,830 - Yeah. - Yeah. 120 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:15,041 Yeah, it's some bullshit rumor, dude. Forget about it. 121 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,627 Look, I'm feeling fucking betrayed with you, J-Tron. 122 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,170 Chad and my sister broke up yesterday, 123 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,131 so she bailed on Cancun with his family. 124 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,300 - That's fine. - Oh, what? They broke up? 125 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,637 - That sucks. - Yeah, she found out he cheated on her... 126 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,723 I don't care what happened. 127 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,684 I'm not going camping with my ex this weekend. 128 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,061 Wait, I thought you guys were never "official." 129 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,272 Yeah, that's one of our many disputes. Thank you, Sean. 130 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,401 Spring break. Indigonanza... 131 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:45,030 - is about bros. Bonding. - Uh-huh. 132 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,489 Ceremoniously drinking 133 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,951 a bottle of Indigo Caribbean Spiced Rum in 48 hours. 134 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,246 - That's the tradition. - This is true. 135 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:56,541 Plus, we only have Sean for one week before he goes back to dipping his balls 136 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,376 in sauerkraut for the rest of the school year. 137 00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,878 That's not something we do. 138 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,213 All right. This is shitty for me too, okay? 139 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,090 My girlfriend freaked out when she found out 140 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,217 ladies were coming and I didn't invite her. 141 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:09,095 How many times do I have to tell you? You're being catfished. 142 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,724 Her name is Kendall Jenners. 143 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,517 With an S. 144 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,978 - Not real. - That's her name, okay? 145 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,647 She's real, all right? 146 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:22,317 We're gonna meet this summer at theater camp and we're gonna have sex. 147 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:25,320 Hey, actually, that reminds me, Sean. 148 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:28,949 This weekend might actually be your chance to bang my sister. 149 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:31,117 - Whoa, whoa! - What the fuck? 150 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:34,871 She's my twin sister, okay? We have this special connection thing. 151 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,332 If she's having sex, it's like if I'm having sex. 152 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:40,085 - Dude, that's gro... Don't say that! Now... - Why not? 153 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,754 Why would you not want me to feel sex? Sex is great. 154 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:43,755 It's your fucking twin. 155 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,173 Don't be disgust... 156 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:48,593 - Jesus Christ! - Stop pouting in there, cheddar bush. 157 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,764 It's gonna be like this the whole fucking time. 158 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,516 Scared me. 159 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,893 Here we go. 160 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,354 - Bye! - Bye, Mrs. Abelar. 161 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,065 - Bye! - Fuck you, Mrs. Abelar. 162 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,942 Don't say "fuck you" to my mom, man. 163 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,904 - We say "fuck you" to Mom all the time. - Well, yeah, but she's, like, our mom. 164 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,783 I just don't think any Abelar woman should be disrespected… 165 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,243 like that. 166 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,704 Yeah. 167 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,622 Ah, they're good kids. 168 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,041 - They're nightmares. - I know, hon. Let's go. 169 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,335 - They're my suicidal nightmares. - I know, I know. 170 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,361 Hey, um, I'm really sorry about Chad. 171 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,114 Thanks. 172 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,243 So, do you guys keep in touch at all? Or... 173 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:58,329 Oh, well, we broke up 17 hours ago. 174 00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,956 So... 175 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,332 I'll keep you posted. 176 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,014 Hey! 177 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,225 Are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance? 178 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,351 Oh, wow, really? 179 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,687 You know what, Sarah? I'm gonna have to think about it, 180 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:23,813 but thank you for asking. 181 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,316 Actually, I just wanted to warn whoever you end up going with 182 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,734 that you shart during blow jobs. 183 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,778 - That happened one time! - Happened two times. 184 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,988 You said you'd never... 185 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,532 Dog, you sharted mid-beej? 186 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,876 All right. Stay in the van. Be cool. I got this. 187 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,586 Hoo-rah! 188 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,095 What's up? 189 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,263 You got ID? 190 00:09:58,473 --> 00:09:59,724 Blammo! 191 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,646 Hmm... Ranger, huh? 192 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,190 $47.65. 193 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,485 Military discount. 194 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:14,364 - Stop. Wipe it on your dirty butt. - No! Not on my... Ah! Not on my butt! 195 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,865 Know what? Just keep the change. 196 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,077 You have a great day. No receipt. Heh. 197 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,558 That's not funny, man. 198 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,228 Yeah, you're great. Yeah, I'm just gonna put it in there. 199 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:49,274 All right, guys. Let's get these Snow Mates ready for their cover shoot. 200 00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,576 Ow. 201 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,100 Jeremy, where are you taking us? 202 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:28,521 We're going deep into Mother Nature's puss... 203 00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,649 all the way up past the ovaries. 204 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,110 Whoo! 205 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,035 Kendall gets so wet for this shit. 206 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,746 I'm sure that he does. 207 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,186 Oh, this is it, dogs. 208 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,355 This is base camp. 209 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:13,191 Fucking finally! Jesus Christ. 210 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,778 Oh, here we go. 211 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,989 Here we go. Oh, what the fuck? 212 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,415 Fuck Chad, right? 213 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,793 Uh, yeah. 214 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,087 High school relationships are bullshit, anyway. 215 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,506 I just feel really embarrassed. 216 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:37,799 Yeah. 217 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,635 But what if you tried to just... 218 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:44,180 you know, do something to take your mind off of it a little bit? 219 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:48,726 You could hook up with Sean. 220 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:54,023 Come on, it might be fun just to hook up with someone that's nice for a change. 221 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:58,194 Plus, you've always kind of liked him, and he got kind of hot in Germany. 222 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,115 I wouldn't say "hot." 223 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,535 I feel like he finished going through puberty. 224 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,457 - You're blowing it with Becky. - Man, they just broke up. 225 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,294 This is the Rent cast party all over again. 226 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,963 This is not like the Rent cast party. Okay? It's not like that. 227 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,923 Remember what happened at the Rent cast party? 228 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:21,676 You sat on the couch sipping your Mike's Hard. 229 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,386 Her hand on your thigh. 230 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,430 You were on the couch and you squeezed his thigh. 231 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,724 Then I asked if he wanted to go smoke on the roof. 232 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,600 Wait, yeah, what did he say again? 233 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:32,270 I told her that I passed on grass. 234 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:36,441 Which doesn't make any sense because we smoke literally all the time. 235 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,026 They literally smoke all the time. 236 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,652 And you sat there watching as she left. 237 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,195 I just got up and left. 238 00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,948 I told you that I couldn't stand up because... 239 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,909 - Maybe he just had a boner. - I had a boner. 240 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,077 Oh, ew. 241 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,163 Who gets a boner from someone touching their thigh? 242 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,915 You're being cock blocked, literally, by your own cock. 243 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,542 I don't know, man. I can't control it. 244 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,627 She then goes upstairs, makes out with Chad, 245 00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:59,005 and they've been fucking dating till this moment. 246 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,089 The Rent cast party? 247 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,425 That was your chance to be with Becky, and you blew it. 248 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,552 - Yeah, Donnie's right. - Thank you. 249 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,679 Musical theater's the ultimate aphrodisiac. 250 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,265 That's why me and Kendall are composing an R-rated musical 251 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,225 based on the songs of Britney Spears. 252 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,395 Dude, get this, all right? It's called Blonde to Bald to Back Again. 253 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,939 Shit is gonna be so fucking tight, dude. I can't wait. 254 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,025 I mean, you remember Christmas Eve, right? 255 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,986 When I sang Kendall my "Oops! I Did It Again" solo? 256 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:25,782 Dude, I had to Urban Dictionary the shit she said she was gonna do to my body. 257 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,283 Oh, dude, I almost forgot. 258 00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:30,244 I got you something, dude. It's for you and Becks. 259 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:31,871 It glows in the dark and shit. 260 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,624 What? "The Fuck King Condom"? 261 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,751 Yeah. King of fucking, dude. 262 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:41,089 Or you can go raw, dog. I mean, I'm down to be an uncle. 263 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,508 Stop it with the fucking your sister stuff. 264 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,677 As weird as this fucking guy is, he's right about one thing. 265 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,554 Becky's always had a thing for you. 266 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,223 No, that's 100% conjecture. 267 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,226 I don't know. I'm slow-playing it, okay? 268 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,686 You're no-playing it. Be her rebound, okay? 269 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:58,606 Take off your practice sweats and crash the fucking boards. 270 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,024 - Yeah. - Play dirty. 271 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:03,152 You think I didn't throw a few 'bows to get where I am with Sarah? 272 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,655 What? Where do you think you are with Sarah? 273 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,823 You guys hate each other. 274 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:08,658 Donnie? 275 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,787 Drink up, bitch. 276 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,414 Oh! 277 00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,498 - Snap. - Fuck! 278 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,624 What was that? 279 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,667 Oh! 280 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,335 Why? 281 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,003 Fuck! 282 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,214 Well, nature's great, but it's still spring break. 283 00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,258 And I'm ready to rage. 284 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:26,801 Let the games begin. 285 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:30,054 Actually, Sarah, this is a bros trip that you're intruding on. 286 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,597 Indigonanza's our thing. 287 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,684 So I'm gonna be the one who officially starts everything off. 288 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,601 Okay. 289 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,270 - Let... - Indigonanza begin. 290 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,357 Okay. Let... 291 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,025 - Let Indigonanza begin. - This is my thing. 292 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,027 Guys, it's important to him, so... 293 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,821 Let Indigonanza... 294 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,781 begin. 295 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,743 I liked it better when she said it. 296 00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:47,006 I mean, look at him. 297 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,008 He's going to town on that trail mix. 298 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,843 Do you still have your bong bear? 299 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:51,969 Yeah, I do. 300 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,263 Get over there and make a move. 301 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,682 You should fuck my sister. 302 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,936 - I'm gonna piss. - Thanks for letting me know. 303 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,521 - Go get 'em. - Okay. 304 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,439 - Nice ass. - Okay. Fine. 305 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,275 Hey! 306 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,278 - Quit hogging that trail mix. - Okay. 307 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,367 - Oh... - Coming in. 308 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,995 - Beep, beep, beep. - No, that's enough. Thank you. 309 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,795 Uh, so did you hear about the... the bear thing? 310 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,047 - No. - Yeah. 311 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,216 Here's one right now. Oh! 312 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,093 - Whoa! What? - What? 313 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,136 - It's just a... It's a bong bear. - The bear bong. 314 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,097 Bear bong! 315 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:41,936 Hey, if you wanted, we could... we could go hot box the tent later. 316 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,523 We could do that. 317 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:46,857 - I'm free now. - You're free? 318 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,735 Uh, that's kind of perfect, 'cause I'm free. 319 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,280 Yeah, our schedules lined up perfectly. 320 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,073 - Uh, let's go now. - Okay! 321 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,074 - Here we go. - Cool. 322 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,367 Oh, my God. Did you hear that? 323 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,452 Jeremy's talking to himself. We gotta fuck with him. 324 00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,413 We gotta go. We gotta go right now. Let's go. 325 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,540 Sorry. 326 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:03,916 Bye. 327 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,501 This knife is so sharp, 328 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,420 it can cut piss. 329 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,256 Oh, what's that? 330 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:14,051 - Are you pissing on this endangered fern? - What the fuck is he doing? 331 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:18,055 Oh, shit, it's an anthill. I'd better get 'em. 332 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:18,973 Let's get him. 333 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,225 - We approach a wild teen. - You're dead! 334 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:37,658 - Oh, shit. I think I cut myself. - Did you... Did you just... 335 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,243 Oh, no! 336 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,495 Why... why are you looking down there? 337 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,664 Keep your eyes above... No. What are you doing? 338 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:45,249 That's not okay. That's... 339 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,385 Where'd my dick go? Did you see my dick, Sean? 340 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,386 Sean, you didn't it? 341 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,097 What about you, Donnie? Did you see my dick? 342 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,433 What is... What is happening? 343 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,394 - I just cut off my dick. - Jeremy, is this a fucking prank? 344 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,313 Don't be stupid. Come on, show me your dick. 345 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,814 I cut off my dick, Becky! 346 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:13,653 I cut my dick off! 347 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,905 - Oh, my God, it's not a prank. - Help! Help him! 348 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,408 I don't think it'll be okay. 349 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,077 You'll be fine, man. We'll lay you down. 350 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,828 Come on. 351 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,413 Here we go. Put this under his head. 352 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,708 Shit. That's a lot of blood, goddammit! That's a lot of blood. 353 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,628 - I'm gonna fucking die. - Jeremy's gonna die. 354 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,880 We can all stand here and have a meltdown 355 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,132 or we can get our shit together and save Jeremy. 356 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,634 Oh, my God, I'm gonna die! 357 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,679 - We need to call 911, now. - Yeah, get our phones. 358 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:42,682 - Kendall... theater camp. - My phone's in the van. 359 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,768 - Don't die. - Fuck. I don't have any service. Do you? 360 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:46,936 - I don't. - Fuck. Me neither. 361 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,813 - I got nothing. - Fuck. You don't have service? 362 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,564 Just... Oh, give me one second to think. 363 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,025 Okay. I'm going to the top of the ridge. Give me your phones. 364 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,152 Okay. One of them has to have service, right? 365 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,613 - What's the passcodes? - 3-5-3-2. 366 00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,574 69-69, which is pretty ironic now. 367 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:03,035 - Mine's 0-0-4-7. - 0-0-4-7. 368 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:04,829 - Go. - What's your passcode, Donnie? 369 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,664 - All ones, dude. All ones. - Okay. 370 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,835 Guys! Hey, guys, in times like these, we... we gotta... Fucking... 371 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,586 - Just go! - Get out of here! 372 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:15,089 - Yeah, I'm going! - Oh, my God. Okay, Jeremy. 373 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,968 Someone... Someone needs to find the... penis. 374 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,428 - Get my penis. - Okay. 375 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:21,929 - Get my penis. - Yeah. 376 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,806 Dude, I'm gonna get your fucking peen. 377 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,516 I'm taking this. I'm getting a flashlight. 378 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,810 - I'm gonna go with Donnie. - Yeah, I'll stay with Jeremy. 379 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,604 - It's gonna be okay, right? All good? - It's gonna be okay. Yeah. 380 00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:32,732 You're gonna get my dick. I'm gonna get my dick back. 381 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,275 Yeah, we're gonna find it. 382 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,820 Just for scale, what am I looking for? Like half this? A... a quarter? 383 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,030 I'm not gonna tell her how big my dick is. 384 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:42,366 I'm gonna take it as a quarter. 385 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,410 If this doesn't work out, Becky, 386 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,912 - I'm gonna be your sister now. - Okay. 387 00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,706 - You already have the hair for it. - Yeah. 388 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,545 Hey! That is a cliff. 389 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:58,090 All right. Okay. 390 00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,800 Nope. All right, come on. 391 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,470 Crap. No, come on! Come on! 392 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,013 Come on! Bars! Bars! We got bars! 393 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,682 We got bars. Oh, baby mama. 394 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,685 All right. I can hear you now. 395 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,645 Fuck yeah. 396 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,065 911, what's your emergency? 397 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,358 Hello! Hello! Hello! 398 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,404 911. I have a medical emergency. I need a medevac pronto. 399 00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:24,784 My friend has lost his penis. He cut it off. I think it was an accident. 400 00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:25,701 Okay. 401 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,247 Okay. Come on. Okay. 402 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,333 Fuck. 403 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:33,292 Shit! 404 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,924 - If I was a dick, where would I be? - You are a dick. That shouldn't be hard. 405 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,091 Oh, my God. 406 00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:42,134 - What? - Found it! 407 00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:43,219 Where? 408 00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:44,762 Oh. 409 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,597 It's a pine cone. 410 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,890 It's gotta be here somewhere. 411 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,017 I mean, how fucking far could this dick fly? 412 00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,603 It could be anywhere within a thousand-foot radius. 413 00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:55,523 Okay, sir, I'm triangulating your current location. 414 00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,191 Uh... 415 00:21:57,525 --> 00:22:00,569 "Hey, babe, I'm sorry I was an idiot. Where are you?" 416 00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:03,906 "I bailed on Cancun. Are you at your house?" 417 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,116 - Oh, come on. - We're sending a medevac helicopter. 418 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,368 Okay, yes. Thank you. 419 00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:11,455 "I want to make this work. I miss you. You're the shit." 420 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:16,460 Crash the boards, Sean. 421 00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:20,631 Fuck Chad, man. Fuck you. 422 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:23,551 You're a... 423 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:28,472 dirty taint. 424 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,057 Fuck, yeah. 425 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,477 Shit. 426 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:34,436 Send. 427 00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:38,899 Fucking send. 428 00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:42,194 - Send it. Come on. - Did you get a signal? 429 00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:47,032 - Oh! - Sean? 430 00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:50,286 Please tell me that wasn't all the phones. 431 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,245 No, no. 432 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:55,207 - I mean, yes, it was... - It was. 433 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,751 ...all the phones. But, hey, hey, I called 911. 434 00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:00,379 I talked to them. They're gonna send a medevac in 30 minutes. 435 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,006 - So... So that's good! - Okay. 436 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,424 - Yeah! - Let's go. Let's go. 437 00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:04,717 That's... All right. 438 00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:08,971 Hold on! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Whoa! 439 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,431 It's a fucking mushroom, dude. 440 00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:13,517 - Everything looks like a dick at night! - What is that? 441 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:14,894 Hmm? 442 00:23:14,977 --> 00:23:17,479 Is that a piece of coyote scat? Are there coyotes here? 443 00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,149 That's not shit. 444 00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:22,484 What do you mean? 445 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:24,194 That's Jeremy's dick. 446 00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:25,195 Oh, my God. 447 00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:32,620 Damn it. 448 00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:35,414 I'm gonna get some sticks to pick that up with. 449 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:39,043 The medevac's on its way. 450 00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,127 We got the dick! 451 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:41,712 - Yes. - And Sarah puked on it. 452 00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:43,380 - Donnie! - Sean lost the phones. 453 00:23:43,464 --> 00:23:44,340 What? 454 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,550 First my dick, and now my 7, Sean! 455 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,428 Is my pee-pee okay? 456 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,722 - Okay. We gotta keep this warm. - Okay. 457 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,433 Where is it? I wanna see it. Where... 458 00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:55,935 Warm it up, baby. Come on. 459 00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:57,728 - Whoa! - What are you doing? 460 00:23:57,811 --> 00:24:00,272 I'm keeping the capillaries open. Stop yelling at me. 461 00:24:00,356 --> 00:24:01,565 You gotta put that on ice! 462 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:03,776 I don't know. They don't teach you this in health class. 463 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,861 My dick is on a stick! 464 00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,947 - Gotta put it on some ice. - Ice, ice! 465 00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:12,117 Ew! 466 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,721 Do you think the helicopter is gonna find us? 467 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,433 I hope so. 468 00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:38,769 Yeah, I do. Yeah. 469 00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:53,617 Is this normal? 470 00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:57,079 It's from his Britney Spears musical he's writing with his fake girlfriend. 471 00:25:55,137 --> 00:25:57,931 Over here! Come on! Hey! 472 00:25:58,057 --> 00:25:59,433 - Wait. Where are you going? - Hey! 473 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:01,477 Oh, my God. It didn't see us. It didn't see us. 474 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,519 Okay. 475 00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:05,606 - This. This'll get their attention. - What are you doing? 476 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,149 Fuck this! Everybody run. 477 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:09,026 - What? Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 478 00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:10,903 What? Yo! Yo! 479 00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:13,072 Get your head down, Jeremy. 480 00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:14,907 Fuck you, Donnie! 481 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,493 Oh... Okay. 482 00:26:18,202 --> 00:26:19,036 Guys? 483 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,747 - What the fuck? - Guys! 484 00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:24,166 Seriously? 485 00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:28,003 Wow, Donnie, I am so impressed. This is some of your best work. 486 00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:42,726 Becky! Becky! 487 00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:47,022 - What the fuck! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 488 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:49,483 Damn, that was dope. 489 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:50,734 - You okay? - No. 490 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:52,152 Holy shit. That was crazy. 491 00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:55,114 Oh, hey! It worked! Hey, we're here! 492 00:26:55,197 --> 00:26:58,575 - Let's get the dick. I got it. Let's go. - Let's go, Jeremy. 493 00:26:58,659 --> 00:27:01,078 Oh, hey! 494 00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:02,788 Hey, guys. Come on! 495 00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:08,377 - Hey, look! Hey! - Hey! 496 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,419 - Hey! - Hi. 497 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:11,713 Hey! 498 00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:17,219 We'll get him to East General Hospital, ASAP. 499 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:21,014 As long as it's within twelve hours, a severed member can still be reattached. 500 00:27:21,098 --> 00:27:22,266 - Yes! - Okay, thank you. 501 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,059 Your friends did a good job. You're gonna be okay. 502 00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:24,977 Thank you! 503 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,563 Whose idea was it to set off the fireball? 504 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:28,856 That was all me, dude. 505 00:27:28,939 --> 00:27:30,274 You're a fucking idiot! 506 00:27:30,357 --> 00:27:32,609 We saw you guys on our initial approach. 507 00:27:32,693 --> 00:27:35,988 Hike down to your car and you can meet him at the hospital. 508 00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:38,657 Okay. Okay, okay. Hey. 509 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:42,411 You're gonna be okay. Yeah. We're gonna see you at the hospital, okay? 510 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,330 Becky, you need to shut the fuck up. You're wasting time. We gotta go. 511 00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:46,456 Okay, yeah! Yeah! 512 00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:48,417 - He's not gonna die! - He's gonna be fine. 513 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:52,337 Stay strong, Jeremy! 514 00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:53,797 Bye, Jeremy. 515 00:27:57,259 --> 00:27:59,469 Look. He's reverse-Terminator- ing. 516 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:00,721 That's epic. 517 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,893 Okay. He's gonna be okay. 518 00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:08,395 Oh, my God. Thank God. 519 00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:14,610 - He's good. - He's good. 520 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:21,366 Whoo! 521 00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:46,475 - He really lost a lot of blood. - Yeah, man, I'm covered. 522 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,853 Can I propose a little toast to the first responders? 523 00:28:50,020 --> 00:28:51,772 - Yes. - May the heroes that... 524 00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:56,026 - Guys? - What? 525 00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:58,111 - What? - Guys! 526 00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:00,322 What? Ah! 527 00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:04,243 - What is it? - What? 528 00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:09,581 Sean? 529 00:29:09,957 --> 00:29:12,209 You gave the EMT the wrong cooler? 530 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:15,379 No! No, no. No way. 531 00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:17,965 - Wait. Wait, we have the dick! - Donnie, no! 532 00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:19,841 - Wait! Come back! - Oh! 533 00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:23,011 - Oh, shit! - The ice... 534 00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:34,898 We have my brother's dick. 535 00:29:35,357 --> 00:29:37,734 With no ice and no phones. 536 00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:41,321 - We have 12 hours, right? - Yeah, I think the EMT meant if it's, 537 00:29:41,405 --> 00:29:42,322 you know, on ice. 538 00:29:42,948 --> 00:29:44,741 Oh, shit! Oh, wait. They... they... 539 00:29:44,825 --> 00:29:46,034 They also told us to hike down. 540 00:29:46,118 --> 00:29:47,744 They probably don't think we're here anymore. 541 00:29:47,828 --> 00:29:50,163 Shit. Look, I'm willing to wait and see. 542 00:29:50,247 --> 00:29:52,374 But by that time, Jeremy's dick is gonna be rotten 543 00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:53,417 and have flies on it... 544 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:55,836 No, no, no, no, we can't freak out. Don't freak out. 545 00:29:56,253 --> 00:29:57,170 We'll hike down. 546 00:29:57,546 --> 00:30:01,466 We'll... We'll find someone with ice or a phone along the way. 547 00:30:01,717 --> 00:30:02,968 And worst case, 548 00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:06,763 we'll be back in the parking lot in, like, six or seven hours. 549 00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:08,765 This is gonna work. 550 00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,186 Yeah, okay, Becky's right. Let's do this. 551 00:30:13,270 --> 00:30:15,022 This is gonna work. That's a good plan. 552 00:30:16,732 --> 00:30:19,234 Okay, let's leave our shit. We'll move faster. 553 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:21,278 - Okay. It's gonna be a long way. - Okay, let's go. 554 00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:22,529 Okay. 555 00:30:25,449 --> 00:30:29,328 Hey, stay with us. Don't head for the light! 556 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:30,537 Hang in there, buddy. 557 00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:33,206 We got a male. Severed penis. Cut clean to the base. 558 00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:35,292 - Oh, shit. - What? 559 00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:38,128 There's no penis. It's just two cans of Flittson. 560 00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:39,296 My dick isn't in there? 561 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,716 Just cans. There's literally no penis. It's just two cans of beer. 562 00:30:43,008 --> 00:30:47,179 You guys, where's my dick? 563 00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:53,727 I don't think this is a good plan. 564 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:57,064 I told Becky it was. We've been hiking for over an hour, and there's no one. 565 00:30:57,147 --> 00:31:00,692 Of course it's not a good plan. There are no good plans in this situation. 566 00:31:00,776 --> 00:31:02,235 Look, um... 567 00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:03,445 - Dude. - What? 568 00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:05,572 - Uh, he texted her. - Who texted her? 569 00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:07,032 - Chad. - What? 570 00:31:07,157 --> 00:31:09,034 When I was calling 911 from Becky's phone, 571 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:10,452 Chad texted, 572 00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:11,828 and said he wants to get back together. 573 00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:14,122 - Rent cast party, man. - Yeah, I, um... 574 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,583 Oh, man, I think I fucked up. 575 00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:19,252 I, like, I think I texted him back as her. 576 00:31:20,087 --> 00:31:22,255 Whoa. That is epic. What did you say? 577 00:31:22,339 --> 00:31:25,217 I said, "Fuck you," and then I called him a dirty taint. 578 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,718 Guys! Guys? 579 00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:29,096 We're gonna stop and pee really quick. 580 00:31:29,179 --> 00:31:31,848 Ginger Pablo Escobar, please keep your eyes downhill. 581 00:31:31,932 --> 00:31:33,975 Ha! Hope you pee on your shoes. 582 00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:35,727 People are noticing. 583 00:31:35,811 --> 00:31:37,687 It still looks like you blew Chester Cheetah. 584 00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:39,272 - Oh, shit! - What? 585 00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,400 - Is Donnie coming to perv on me? - No. 586 00:31:41,483 --> 00:31:42,734 Hey, Sean! 587 00:31:43,068 --> 00:31:46,071 Sean, there's a ranger lookout station. They might have ice. 588 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:47,906 Hey, that's good. 589 00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:49,408 That's awesome. Let's go. 590 00:31:57,207 --> 00:31:58,291 Let's go! 591 00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:00,710 Hello? 592 00:32:01,086 --> 00:32:03,296 - Hello, anybody? - Hello? 593 00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:05,715 - Hello? - Hello? 594 00:32:06,216 --> 00:32:08,593 We need some help! It's an emergency! 595 00:32:08,677 --> 00:32:09,845 - Excuse me? - Hello? 596 00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,221 Hello? 597 00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:12,347 Is anybody home? 598 00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:14,307 Seems like we have to break into this bitch. 599 00:32:14,391 --> 00:32:15,809 What? We're not doing that. 600 00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,561 I don't know. This is government property. 601 00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:18,854 I feel like it would be... 602 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,105 a bad idea. 603 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,065 Damn. 604 00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:24,985 But, yeah, you know, this is a time-sensitive case 605 00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:26,820 so it's a good call. It's a good call. 606 00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:35,370 Mm, it's empty. 607 00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:36,580 Great. 608 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,252 Please have ice. Please have ice. 609 00:32:42,377 --> 00:32:44,421 Oh, dude. No, close that. 610 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,426 Well maybe there's still a phone or radio or something, right? 611 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:50,802 - Yeah? Yeah. - Yeah. Okay. 612 00:32:56,349 --> 00:32:58,894 Oh, my God! 613 00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,520 Oh, my God! 614 00:33:05,275 --> 00:33:06,818 - Oh! - No, no, no. 615 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:08,904 I think the rattlesnake bit the dick. 616 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:11,031 Oh, my God. A snake bit the dick? 617 00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:12,866 We have to get the venom out somehow. 618 00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:14,826 - Yeah. How do we do that? - We have to get it out. 619 00:33:14,910 --> 00:33:17,496 Maybe if we shake it a lot, the venom will pour out. 620 00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:18,872 No, we have to, uh... 621 00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,543 Someone has to suck it out. 622 00:33:27,130 --> 00:33:31,092 It seems only fair that the person who's had that dick in their mouth do it. 623 00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,555 Donnie, what the fuck are you talking about? 624 00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:39,184 - I'm obviously referring to Becky. - What? 625 00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:43,104 You guys shared a womb together, so obviously at some point in the dark... 626 00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:45,482 - that dick went in your mouth. - This idiot. 627 00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:47,859 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Fumbling around. 628 00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:51,571 Donnie, I didn't suck his fetus penis when I was in the womb. 629 00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:53,031 I am his sister. 630 00:33:53,114 --> 00:33:55,075 I am obviously the last person to suck the dick. 631 00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:57,744 - You're sucking before I do. - I'm sucking... 632 00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:59,829 I am not sucking my brother's dick. End of story. 633 00:33:59,913 --> 00:34:02,332 The women should suck the dick. We don't even know how. 634 00:34:02,415 --> 00:34:06,127 It's not even the same kind of sucking, you stupid idiot. 635 00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:09,756 - I am not going to do it! - You should. This is your fault. 636 00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:11,883 - Yeah, you should. - I'll do it. 637 00:34:12,259 --> 00:34:16,471 I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll suck it! I will suck the dick. 638 00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:19,724 I lost the phones. 639 00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:22,018 I gave them the wrong cooler. 640 00:34:24,104 --> 00:34:25,188 I'll suck the penis. 641 00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:28,775 - It's really cool of you. Thanks. - Yeah. 642 00:34:29,109 --> 00:34:29,985 Just, uh... 643 00:34:31,444 --> 00:34:32,779 I'd like to do it... 644 00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:34,948 alone. 645 00:34:35,532 --> 00:34:36,575 Yeah, you got it. 646 00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:38,368 - I'll tell your story. - Okay. 647 00:34:38,994 --> 00:34:39,953 You're a hero. 648 00:34:40,036 --> 00:34:40,912 Yup. 649 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:49,004 You da man. 650 00:35:19,075 --> 00:35:19,909 Thanks. 651 00:35:24,581 --> 00:35:27,000 Man, we came all the way up here for nothing. 652 00:35:28,168 --> 00:35:31,588 I really fucked this up. I'm sorry. 653 00:35:32,005 --> 00:35:34,924 What now? We're just gonna run down this mountain and pray that J-Tron's D 654 00:35:35,008 --> 00:35:36,509 doesn't fester before the car? 655 00:35:37,677 --> 00:35:39,804 We've only been hiking for three hours. 656 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,515 That means we still have nine hours. 657 00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:45,935 That was before it got bit by a snake. 658 00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:48,688 You guys hear that? 659 00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,067 Dude, look! 660 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:53,860 A drone? 661 00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:56,154 Wait a minute. Wait. 662 00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:57,405 If there's a drone, 663 00:35:57,489 --> 00:36:00,450 that means there's a person, and they probably have a phone. 664 00:36:01,242 --> 00:36:03,703 We should... We should follow it. Let's go get Sean. 665 00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,748 Sean! Sean, there's a drone... Oh! 666 00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:10,543 - Don't look at me! - Sorry. Sorry. 667 00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:14,422 Uh, it's just... There's a drone, so there's people, and we need to go now. 668 00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:16,424 Oh, my God. That's great. Okay. Um... 669 00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:20,303 - Just... Stop looking. - One second. I gotta... 670 00:36:20,387 --> 00:36:22,180 I'm getting a lot of venom out of this thing. 671 00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:28,269 Hey! 672 00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,066 Come here! 673 00:36:34,234 --> 00:36:35,193 There. Get it. 674 00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:36,861 Stop! 675 00:36:40,573 --> 00:36:42,867 - Where'd it go? - Does anybody see it? 676 00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:46,621 Oh! There it goes. 677 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:48,039 I got this shit. 678 00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:26,035 - Sarah! - Oh, shit! 679 00:37:26,119 --> 00:37:26,953 Fuck! 680 00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:29,873 - Oh, my God! Oh! - Fuck! 681 00:37:30,165 --> 00:37:31,833 I got it! 682 00:37:32,542 --> 00:37:35,044 - Are you okay? - Yeah, totally! 683 00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:38,423 - There are people there. They have a boat. - Nice! 684 00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:39,758 Watch this. 685 00:37:41,301 --> 00:37:43,261 Let's get wet! 686 00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:45,013 - Oh, shit. - Oh, my God. 687 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:49,768 - Holy fuck. - Whoo! 688 00:37:49,851 --> 00:37:50,769 Yeah! 689 00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:52,812 - That was pretty cool. - Yeah. 690 00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,023 Yeah. It looks easy. He made it look easy! 691 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:57,400 - Yeah. Do... do you wanna go next? - Yeah! 692 00:37:57,734 --> 00:37:58,860 Yeah, yeah. No, I'll go. 693 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:02,280 Hey, I get the feeling that you maybe don't wanna jump. 694 00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:05,575 So, uh, we can try to find a way to hike down. 695 00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:08,203 - No, I wanna... I want to go. - Okay. 696 00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:09,829 Es geht um die Wurst, ja? 697 00:38:09,913 --> 00:38:11,998 Which means "it's do or die" in German. 698 00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:13,917 Actually, the literal German translation is, 699 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,919 "it's all about sausage," which is funny... 700 00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:18,254 Are you making a dick joke right now? We, like, gotta go. 701 00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:19,923 Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, okay. Let's do it. 702 00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:21,049 - Let's do it. - All right. 703 00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:24,302 I'm not gonna take the long way, I'm gonna take the Sean way, huh? 704 00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:26,095 - Oh, shit! - Oh, my God! 705 00:38:26,179 --> 00:38:28,348 - Fuck! Oh, fuck. - Oh! 706 00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:35,772 Yeah! 707 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,275 I'm good! I'm good! Whoo! 708 00:38:41,528 --> 00:38:44,447 So, the "Sean way" is going for 709 00:38:44,614 --> 00:38:47,033 the maximum amount of pain you can inflict on your body? 710 00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:48,952 No, no. Honestly, it didn't hurt that much. 711 00:38:49,035 --> 00:38:52,455 It was actually really fun. I actually... It was a fun ride. 712 00:38:52,539 --> 00:38:53,998 Ooh. 713 00:38:54,082 --> 00:38:55,542 Oh, my God. 714 00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:58,044 Dude, uh, your back is like... 715 00:38:58,837 --> 00:38:59,671 red raw. 716 00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:05,593 Oh my... Oh, my God. 717 00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:07,637 Oh, fuck me. 718 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:08,763 You guys, look. 719 00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:10,348 Huh? 720 00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:14,686 Oh! That's so dumb. 721 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:18,231 They fucking came back. And we're not there. That's awesome. 722 00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:21,276 Ow! 723 00:39:21,401 --> 00:39:24,821 - Damn it! - All right, man! Jesus. We're all mad. 724 00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:26,739 No, the wind blew against my back. 725 00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:28,408 It's okay. I'm fine. 726 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,202 What? 727 00:39:31,911 --> 00:39:34,914 You guys, come on. Let's... Let's just keep going. 728 00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:43,131 - The helicopter went back to the campsite. - Yes. 729 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,216 - But your friends weren't there. - No. 730 00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:49,596 So, the doctor's gonna need to operate before this gets infected. 731 00:39:49,679 --> 00:39:51,264 Okay. No, my friends, 732 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:53,725 they'll... they'll get me my penis back. I know they will. 733 00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:58,062 Okay, I know they will, too. If they don't, though, you'll be fine. 734 00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:02,525 We can do a full penal reconstruction using a graft from your forearm or glute. 735 00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:04,110 The results are fantastic. 736 00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:06,195 - Really? - Absolutely. 737 00:40:06,279 --> 00:40:08,281 In addition to increased self-esteem, 738 00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,658 most patients report successful ejaculation 739 00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:12,327 in ten percent of sexual encounters. 740 00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:15,246 On a pleasure scale, we're hitting mid-to high-threes. 741 00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:16,539 Is that good? 742 00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:18,291 Those numbers sound bad. 743 00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:21,210 Well, in comparison with not having a penis, 744 00:40:21,294 --> 00:40:22,795 I think those numbers sound great. 745 00:40:22,879 --> 00:40:25,131 Okay. I will wait for my dick. 746 00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:29,052 I have a strong dick. I know it'll last days out in the wild. 747 00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:29,969 No. 748 00:40:30,053 --> 00:40:32,847 Everyone thinks their penis is special. It's not. 749 00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:37,185 Okay? It's like one of these flowers. Right? 750 00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:41,189 If you remove it from the body, cut off its flow of blood, 751 00:40:41,689 --> 00:40:45,652 and then eventually, if left on its own, it will wilt... 752 00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:47,278 and die. 753 00:40:54,369 --> 00:40:55,828 HBO's on Channel 3. 754 00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:02,210 Come on, guys. 755 00:41:03,169 --> 00:41:06,673 I know you're doing whatever it takes to get here as fast as you can. 756 00:41:08,716 --> 00:41:09,801 Hey, Becky! 757 00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:14,347 Hey, don't beat yourself up over the helicopter. 758 00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:17,558 I think you're doing great. I've always thought you were really great. 759 00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:20,812 Uh, are you forgetting the time you totally rejected me? 760 00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:24,065 That never happened. I don't remember that happening. 761 00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:27,276 Come on. Remember the Rent cast party? 762 00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:30,113 - Kinda made a move. - I... might remember. 763 00:41:31,072 --> 00:41:33,533 I had a momentary crush on you. 764 00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:38,454 - You had a crush on me? - I just thought... 765 00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:40,540 Sean, emergency bro discussion. 766 00:41:40,623 --> 00:41:42,375 - One sec, man. - 911, Sean. 767 00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,877 - You better go. Sounds very important. - Sorry. 768 00:41:44,961 --> 00:41:48,256 Sean, Sean, you are not gonna believe what I found in the woods. 769 00:41:48,589 --> 00:41:50,883 Wait till you feast your eyes on these. 770 00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:54,220 What are those? Why do you have those? 771 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:57,098 When Sarah went behind that big bush to dry off or whatever, 772 00:41:57,181 --> 00:41:58,891 I went after her, 'cause I needed to pee. 773 00:41:58,975 --> 00:42:01,769 Okay, I find those waiting on a rock. 774 00:42:02,311 --> 00:42:03,354 For me. 775 00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:05,023 Knew she came to win me back. 776 00:42:05,106 --> 00:42:09,485 What? Maybe she just didn't want to wear wet underwear, you psychopath. 777 00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:11,612 That's like serial killer behavior. 778 00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:12,864 Okay, these are a sign. 779 00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:15,992 She wants us to be together. And you know what, Sean? 780 00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:18,036 I'll tell you the truth. I'm ready to forgive her. 781 00:42:18,286 --> 00:42:19,412 Forgive her for what? 782 00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,748 Over Christmas break, usual spot, 783 00:42:21,831 --> 00:42:23,166 abandoned church my grandma used to take me to. 784 00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:25,543 Before we start hooking up, I throw around I want a DTR. 785 00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:28,046 - She freaks out. - DTR? 786 00:42:28,129 --> 00:42:29,547 You said you wanted dick to rim? 787 00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:32,425 No. What? I wanted to "define the relationship." 788 00:42:32,508 --> 00:42:34,969 - What the fuck is dick to rim? - I don't know. Butt stuff. 789 00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:37,138 What has happened to you in Germany? 790 00:42:38,431 --> 00:42:41,309 Anyway, I tell her I wanna DTR. 791 00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:43,686 And she's all like, "Relationships are bullshit." 792 00:42:43,770 --> 00:42:45,772 Then I feel like an idiot. I don't know what to do. 793 00:42:45,855 --> 00:42:48,483 So I kick her out of a car... may or may not have been moving. 794 00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:51,110 - Wow, that's really mean. - I also told her... 795 00:42:51,194 --> 00:42:52,779 um, that I never liked her. 796 00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:55,364 - Wow, man. - And she was gaining weight. 797 00:42:59,035 --> 00:43:01,245 Sean! This is a power play. 798 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:02,538 She wants me back. 799 00:43:02,622 --> 00:43:04,624 Come on, Donnie. The camp's around this bend. 800 00:43:06,501 --> 00:43:09,003 - Hi! Hello. Hey, bud! - Hey, buddy. 801 00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:10,588 - Hey, there. - Hey, hi. 802 00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,048 - Oh, my God. - Okay. 803 00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:13,591 - Whoo! - Hey. 804 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:15,259 I believe this belongs to you. 805 00:43:15,343 --> 00:43:19,222 And I believe you're the bitch that fucked it up! 806 00:43:19,305 --> 00:43:20,431 - What now? - Whoa. 807 00:43:20,515 --> 00:43:22,600 You better have cash to pay for this. 808 00:43:23,059 --> 00:43:25,269 Okay, uh, where are your parents? 809 00:43:25,353 --> 00:43:27,438 My dad went fly-fishing. 810 00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:29,565 What about the boat? Where are the keys? 811 00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:32,068 Because we're in an emergency, and we need some help. 812 00:43:32,193 --> 00:43:36,489 All right. If I'm gonna give you the keys, then I wanna see some stuff. 813 00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:39,700 Okay. 814 00:43:39,784 --> 00:43:42,829 - No. Ugh. - We are not going to show you our boobs. 815 00:43:42,912 --> 00:43:43,996 Bitch, please! 816 00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:46,290 I'm 11, not five. 817 00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:49,168 I've seen thousands of titties. 818 00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:51,629 I wanna see you two scissor. 819 00:43:53,005 --> 00:43:54,048 - Yeah! - Oh! 820 00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:56,884 - Take that, you little perv. Gross. - That is inappropriate. 821 00:43:57,260 --> 00:43:59,137 I'm not helping you with shit! 822 00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:01,222 Stay the fuck away from me! 823 00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:04,559 - Kid's a monster. - Jesus Christ. 824 00:44:05,059 --> 00:44:06,477 I kind of love him, though. 825 00:44:06,686 --> 00:44:08,855 Okay, if we're not outta here in, like, an hour… 826 00:44:08,938 --> 00:44:11,357 - Jeremy will be dickless... - The rest of his life. 827 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,192 That's decades with no dick. 828 00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:15,278 No. We need that boat. 829 00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:17,488 Fuck this little baby Bieber wannabe. 830 00:44:17,864 --> 00:44:19,198 What are you doing? 831 00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:22,785 Listen here, you little terrorist. This is my brother's dick. 832 00:44:23,119 --> 00:44:25,538 He's in the hospital right now, and he needs us. 833 00:44:25,621 --> 00:44:29,000 We need your boat so we can get to the hospital to reattach it. 834 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:33,087 Listen, kid, when we're around, dicks get cut and dicks get sucked. 835 00:44:33,171 --> 00:44:34,630 I saw him suck this dick. 836 00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:37,300 I sucked that dick this morning. Now, give us the keys. 837 00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:40,928 Yes! 838 00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:45,391 All right. Tell your dad the boat's gonna be at the south campground lot. 839 00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:47,476 Jesus, Sean, that dick really fucked him up. 840 00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,645 He hasn't said a word since you showed him the dick. 841 00:44:49,729 --> 00:44:51,272 What if he never talks again? 842 00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:55,318 - Whatever. Fuck this kid. - The worst. 843 00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:56,652 Piece of shit, anyway. 844 00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,490 Hey, buddy. 845 00:45:03,159 --> 00:45:05,411 Son are... Are you okay? 846 00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:07,622 Dicks get cut. 847 00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,875 Dicks get sucked. 848 00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:15,796 - All right. I got you. - Okay. 849 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:17,757 Good God. Hey! 850 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,842 - Hey! - Oh, shit! 851 00:45:19,967 --> 00:45:23,387 - Oh, my God! Go! - Guys, we gotta go! 852 00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:26,557 - Go! Shit! There's too many keys. - I'm getting the anchor. 853 00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:29,435 Hello, sir, I can completely explain what's going on here. 854 00:45:29,518 --> 00:45:31,395 What have you done to my son? 855 00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:33,189 It's a good thing you're... Okay, fuck this. 856 00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,107 I'll kill all of you perverts! 857 00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:42,531 Hey, he has a bruise. Leave him alone. 858 00:45:42,615 --> 00:45:44,116 You're a fucker! 859 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,160 Hit me again. I fucking dare you! 860 00:45:46,244 --> 00:45:49,330 Oh, my God. Ugh. Go. 861 00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:51,207 Let's go! Come on! Move! 862 00:45:51,332 --> 00:45:52,291 I got it! 863 00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:54,001 I'm gonna kill you, son of a bitch. 864 00:45:54,085 --> 00:45:55,169 Back the fuck up! 865 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,005 Oh, fuck. 866 00:45:58,089 --> 00:46:00,841 Oh, God. It's slipping, guys! 867 00:46:00,925 --> 00:46:03,886 Shit! He's Cliffhanger- ing! Oh, hold it, Sean. 868 00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:06,264 Fucker! 869 00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:08,432 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God. - I got it. 870 00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:13,771 - Fucker! - Auf Wiedersehen! 871 00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:15,439 Hey! That's my boat! 872 00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:16,983 Come back with my boat! 873 00:46:17,650 --> 00:46:20,319 - Holy shit. - Whoo! 874 00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:22,822 That was insane. 875 00:46:23,322 --> 00:46:26,075 - That guy tried to murder us. - Yeah. He was crazy. 876 00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:29,787 I mean, in all fairness, he probably thought we molested his kid. 877 00:46:29,870 --> 00:46:32,540 I shouldn't have said, "Dicks get cut and dicks get sucked." 878 00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:33,666 That was too much. 879 00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:36,210 Nice going, pinch hit. 880 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:39,255 Yeah, thanks. I learned from the best. 881 00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:43,843 When you nailed me in the head with a beer can. 882 00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:46,804 Oh, yeah. That was awesome. 883 00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:54,854 By the way, I got your sign and... message received. 884 00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:56,939 - My sign? - Yeah. 885 00:46:58,733 --> 00:46:59,567 Look familiar? 886 00:47:01,110 --> 00:47:05,156 If I'm wearing your underwear, that means you're not wearing any. 887 00:47:06,032 --> 00:47:07,533 Those aren't my underwear. 888 00:47:08,701 --> 00:47:09,994 Oh, my... Oh, my God. 889 00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,370 Man, that's gross. 890 00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:13,748 - Okay, don't tell anyone. - I... 891 00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,958 I really appreciate that you tried. 892 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:19,378 I think we're actually gonna make it to the hospital in time. 893 00:47:19,462 --> 00:47:21,422 - We're a good team. - Yeah. 894 00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:27,845 - Yeah! - Yeah. 895 00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:31,849 Time to cooler it up. Whoo! 896 00:47:44,403 --> 00:47:46,155 Let's find Jeremy and get some ice. 897 00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,657 - Get that dick to the hospital! - God! Donnie! 898 00:47:48,741 --> 00:47:49,617 Oh, my God. 899 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:52,119 It's all crumbed. Like a churro. 900 00:47:52,578 --> 00:47:55,206 - Oh, my God. We made it! - Let's go get some ice. 901 00:47:55,289 --> 00:47:56,123 Yes! 902 00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:01,712 Let's go! Let's go! 903 00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:08,302 I have read the literature, and I've come to the conclusion 904 00:48:08,386 --> 00:48:10,805 that I do not fucking want this, okay? 905 00:48:11,180 --> 00:48:12,556 - I don't want a butt dick. - Hey! 906 00:48:13,182 --> 00:48:16,519 Don't you yell at me. I'm not the one who got drunk and... Pfft. 907 00:48:16,602 --> 00:48:19,397 Ob... Obviously, you don't have a dick. 908 00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:21,565 No, I don't have a dick! 909 00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:23,734 No one in this room has a dick. 910 00:48:25,361 --> 00:48:26,195 Right? 911 00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:28,864 - Yeah. - Okay. 912 00:48:35,996 --> 00:48:37,998 Let's hope they're on their way. 913 00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:43,671 Think we should call your parents? 914 00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,423 What's your mom's number? 915 00:48:46,132 --> 00:48:47,299 Uh, it's... Uh... 916 00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:50,594 I don't know it. 917 00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:52,763 - At all? No? - No. Mm-mm. 918 00:48:52,847 --> 00:48:56,892 I don't know. I just programmed them into my first phone. I was 11. 919 00:48:56,976 --> 00:48:59,562 We can maybe check if they left a message on your phone. 920 00:48:59,645 --> 00:49:01,397 Don't leave a message, just text me. 921 00:49:02,398 --> 00:49:04,650 You have one new message. 922 00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:07,361 Fuck you, Becky. You're the taint. 923 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:09,822 - Is that Chad? - You hear me? 924 00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:11,073 - Um... - You're the real taint. 925 00:49:11,157 --> 00:49:12,241 I'm glad this is over. 926 00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,160 You deserve to be alone. 927 00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:18,080 I want you to take that note I wrote you our four-month anniversary and burn it. 928 00:49:18,164 --> 00:49:19,748 I don't mean any of that anymore. 929 00:49:19,832 --> 00:49:20,749 Ah! 930 00:49:20,833 --> 00:49:22,877 You made me so mad, I dropped my vape! 931 00:49:23,252 --> 00:49:26,672 You owe me a new vape, Becky. You hurt my feelings, dawg. 932 00:49:29,592 --> 00:49:31,844 Becky, um, I have to tell you something. 933 00:49:32,136 --> 00:49:33,179 When... Um... 934 00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:37,516 - I'm really sorry, but... - What? No, no. It's not your fault. 935 00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,602 It's just really fucked up 936 00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:43,105 how someone you thought cared about you can lie to your face. 937 00:49:46,066 --> 00:49:46,942 Yeah. Yeah. 938 00:49:55,910 --> 00:49:58,954 Wow. Damn. Girl, you are a really good driver. 939 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:00,789 - Thanks. - God. 940 00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:03,375 You're like a young Furiosa. 941 00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:16,972 All right, man, we gotta get this dick on life support. 942 00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:18,933 - We need bags and ice. - Oh, my God, dude. 943 00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:20,726 This looks like a cat shat in a cooler. 944 00:50:20,809 --> 00:50:22,436 - Oh, shit. - Ugh. 945 00:50:22,561 --> 00:50:23,854 Should we... Should we clean it? 946 00:50:23,938 --> 00:50:26,857 I'm fucked if I know. What do you even clean a dick with? 947 00:50:26,941 --> 00:50:28,359 Doxycycline. 948 00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:30,194 Or a Z-Pak. 949 00:50:31,737 --> 00:50:34,156 I've had everything in the book. It works. Trust me. 950 00:50:34,657 --> 00:50:36,867 Which one of you's is it? You? 951 00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:38,827 You? 952 00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:40,829 Or is it the ranger? 953 00:50:40,913 --> 00:50:44,250 Yeah, actually it is for the... the young, uh, ranger. 954 00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:46,126 We need stuff to clean his wound. 955 00:50:46,669 --> 00:50:47,962 A wounded soldier? 956 00:50:48,504 --> 00:50:50,965 Um... We need to clean his, uh... 957 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:57,137 Penis. 958 00:50:57,638 --> 00:50:59,807 Three inches. Severed at the base. 959 00:51:00,933 --> 00:51:02,184 I've seen this before. 960 00:51:02,935 --> 00:51:03,894 You have? 961 00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:07,565 It would be my honor and a privilege if I could do this for you. 962 00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:11,860 - Let's do it. - Okay. 963 00:51:11,944 --> 00:51:13,946 Let's do it! 964 00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:16,240 All right, let's go. 965 00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:17,783 He's been in this situation. 966 00:51:17,866 --> 00:51:19,660 If we're gonna trust someone, it might as well be this guy. 967 00:51:23,831 --> 00:51:25,082 Whoa, whoopsie. 968 00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:51,567 His dick's gonna be even better. 969 00:52:03,412 --> 00:52:04,747 Wow. 970 00:52:05,706 --> 00:52:07,374 Fresh ice. Good as new. 971 00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:10,669 Oh, wow. 972 00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:12,921 That is amazing. 973 00:52:13,005 --> 00:52:14,214 Yup. 974 00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:16,550 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 975 00:52:17,426 --> 00:52:18,427 Good luck, soldiers. 976 00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:19,928 - Hey, yeah. - Oh, hey. 977 00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:23,098 If you need anything, this is my card. 978 00:52:24,475 --> 00:52:27,603 - Let your sergeant know what happened. - Absolutely. Will do. 979 00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:29,313 Yeah. What the hell's that? 980 00:52:30,022 --> 00:52:31,190 It's just my wallet. 981 00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:35,986 - Ow! - Crestview High School. 982 00:52:36,654 --> 00:52:37,738 Junior. 983 00:52:39,615 --> 00:52:40,866 The hell's going on here? 984 00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:43,077 It's just a really old high school ID. 985 00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,203 Says it's from this year. 986 00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:46,038 - Does it? Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 987 00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:47,373 - Okay. - Fuck. 988 00:52:50,334 --> 00:52:53,712 Did you boys lie about being servicemen so you could buy alcohol? 989 00:52:53,796 --> 00:52:55,631 No. No, absolutely not. 990 00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:58,634 There is no way we would ever lie. It's... 991 00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:04,890 Our... Our friend Jeremy, he lied. 992 00:53:05,516 --> 00:53:08,477 You mean, I just cleaned a civilian dick? 993 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,063 - I am so, so sorry. - Stay cool, man. 994 00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:13,023 - Get the hell over here! - Fuck. 995 00:53:13,107 --> 00:53:14,525 - Go, dude! Go! - Come back here. 996 00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:20,489 We have got to go! 997 00:53:21,281 --> 00:53:22,241 He looks mad! 998 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:24,159 - Go! - Oh, come on. Okay. 999 00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:26,537 - Here it is! Unlock! - Unlock the door, Becky. 1000 00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:28,914 - I'm pressing unlock. - Open the door. 1001 00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:34,378 Shit! He's got a fucking bow and arrow! Go! 1002 00:53:34,461 --> 00:53:38,590 The only dicks that I touch are mine and my husband's. 1003 00:53:39,091 --> 00:53:40,217 Go! Shit! 1004 00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:42,928 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 1005 00:53:43,637 --> 00:53:44,555 Hey! 1006 00:53:44,638 --> 00:53:46,640 Go! Go, go, go, go, go! 1007 00:53:46,724 --> 00:53:48,142 - That was crazy. - God. 1008 00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,144 Oh, my God. Holy shit. 1009 00:53:50,227 --> 00:53:52,479 Guys, we made it. 1010 00:53:55,649 --> 00:53:57,985 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! Holy shit! 1011 00:53:58,068 --> 00:53:59,027 Fuck you! 1012 00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:01,071 Yeah, fuck you! 1013 00:54:01,155 --> 00:54:03,157 - Holy fuck! Are you okay? - Ow... 1014 00:54:03,282 --> 00:54:05,576 You look okay. Looks like just the tip went in. 1015 00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:08,162 Come on, Donnie. You love just the tip. 1016 00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:10,122 Fuck, that's really funny, but not right now. 1017 00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:16,295 Did you say Kendall Jenners? With an S? 1018 00:54:16,378 --> 00:54:18,839 We're supposed to meet for the first time this summer. 1019 00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:21,508 That name is like Catfishing 101. 1020 00:54:21,592 --> 00:54:22,593 Why does everyone say that? 1021 00:54:22,676 --> 00:54:24,636 She likes to text. She doesn't like talking. 1022 00:54:24,720 --> 00:54:26,263 That is definitely a catfish. 1023 00:54:26,847 --> 00:54:28,974 Okay, look. Anyway, if I'm gonna die, 1024 00:54:30,017 --> 00:54:33,353 I need her to know... that I love her. 1025 00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:36,440 You're not gonna die. You just won't have a penis. 1026 00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:38,442 I'd rather die than not have my penis. 1027 00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:39,943 We've waited all day. 1028 00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,904 It's been almost 12 hours. 1029 00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:43,739 We haven't heard anything from your friends. 1030 00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:46,158 - Yeah, but there's still time. - Nah. 1031 00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:49,161 Look at the flower. Look. It still has most of its petals. 1032 00:54:49,787 --> 00:54:52,289 What? No. Dude... The flower... 1033 00:54:52,623 --> 00:54:54,041 that was an example. 1034 00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:57,711 Did you think that that flower was magically linked to your penis? 1035 00:54:59,671 --> 00:55:01,840 This isn't Beauty and the Beast. 1036 00:55:01,924 --> 00:55:05,719 But me and my friends are fucking idiots. They're gonna need more time. 1037 00:55:05,803 --> 00:55:07,805 Honestly, it's not looking good. 1038 00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:11,475 So, let's just hope your friends are arriving right now. 1039 00:55:17,481 --> 00:55:20,317 Hi! Hi! We're here for Jeremy Abelar. 1040 00:55:20,818 --> 00:55:23,028 We have a... a special delivery. 1041 00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:25,239 Uh, one moment. 1042 00:55:25,447 --> 00:55:27,324 - Abelar? Abelar. - Abelar. Yes. 1043 00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:28,909 A-B-Oh... Ooh... 1044 00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:31,161 I just gotta go back here. 1045 00:55:31,245 --> 00:55:33,330 That's it. 1046 00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:35,582 Ah! Yep. 1047 00:55:35,916 --> 00:55:37,668 Ah, we don't have a patient under that name. 1048 00:55:38,085 --> 00:55:41,713 Uh, the helicopter EMT said they would be bringing him here. 1049 00:55:41,797 --> 00:55:43,507 I don't know what to tell you. He's not here. 1050 00:55:43,590 --> 00:55:44,925 They sometimes reroute medevacs. 1051 00:55:45,008 --> 00:55:47,219 I'd try Clarkson Memorial. They have a helipad. 1052 00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,143 Fu... 1053 00:56:00,107 --> 00:56:01,108 ...ck! 1054 00:56:01,233 --> 00:56:03,402 Let's go. 1055 00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:07,364 Go, go, go, go, go! 1056 00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:11,368 Everybody, listen up! 1057 00:56:11,618 --> 00:56:13,704 There is a penis in this cooler! 1058 00:56:13,787 --> 00:56:15,497 Are we in the right place or what? 1059 00:56:15,706 --> 00:56:16,748 Is that the penis? 1060 00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:18,166 - Yes! Yes! - Thank God. Yes. 1061 00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:20,711 Oh! We didn't think you guys were gonna make it. 1062 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:23,547 The penis is here! 1063 00:56:23,839 --> 00:56:26,633 Page the anesthesiologist. I want to get into surgery immediately. 1064 00:56:26,717 --> 00:56:28,552 - Yes! - Hey! 1065 00:56:30,721 --> 00:56:31,805 You guys did good. 1066 00:56:32,681 --> 00:56:34,600 Ooh! Also, it got bit by a snake. 1067 00:56:34,892 --> 00:56:37,978 I sucked it pretty good, but you should still check for venom. 1068 00:56:41,732 --> 00:56:42,733 Prep the OR! 1069 00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:43,901 Goddamn hero. 1070 00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:47,154 Yes! 1071 00:56:47,237 --> 00:56:49,531 - Yes! Oh, God. - Ow! Oh, ow! 1072 00:56:49,615 --> 00:56:52,075 - Someone's thumb went in my hole. - You okay? 1073 00:57:00,834 --> 00:57:03,170 You can scoot closer. 1074 00:57:04,129 --> 00:57:05,964 You're kind of far away. 1075 00:57:06,048 --> 00:57:07,257 Yeah. 1076 00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:14,139 Hey, thank you for your shirt, also, by the way. 1077 00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:15,557 Oh, yeah, no problem. 1078 00:57:15,641 --> 00:57:18,393 - It's comfortable. It smells good. - Looks great on you. 1079 00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:19,311 Thanks. 1080 00:57:27,194 --> 00:57:29,279 Hey, um, you know what? Uh... 1081 00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:34,242 Remember at the Rent cast party? 1082 00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:39,331 - Mm-hmm? - I actually had a crush on you, too. 1083 00:57:46,838 --> 00:57:47,839 You... you did? 1084 00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,258 Yeah. 1085 00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:53,470 Yeah, also momentarily. 1086 00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:55,973 - Um... - Right. 1087 00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:57,766 Yeah, I mean... 1088 00:57:58,392 --> 00:57:59,476 I don't know. 1089 00:58:05,816 --> 00:58:07,359 Wow, the Fuck King? 1090 00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:11,154 The Fuck... Are you the Fuck King? 1091 00:58:11,822 --> 00:58:14,074 Uh, no, that's not me. I'm not the Fuck King. 1092 00:58:14,574 --> 00:58:16,576 - Just a fuck prince. - I wouldn't even... 1093 00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:18,412 I think I'm more of a jester. 1094 00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:19,663 - You're a fuck jester. - Yeah. 1095 00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,289 That's... that's more fun. 1096 00:58:21,790 --> 00:58:24,418 You wanted to use it at the hospital here? 1097 00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:26,336 Well... Um... 1098 00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:32,718 Jeremy actually gave it to me to use with you. 1099 00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:36,179 - And I said, "That's crazy." - That's really weird. 1100 00:58:36,263 --> 00:58:38,682 - I'm on the same page. It's weird. - I'm his sister. 1101 00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:40,100 So it's not really mine. 1102 00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:42,269 - Ew! Ew! - I know! I know! 1103 00:58:42,978 --> 00:58:44,229 - Why? - Yeah. 1104 00:58:44,396 --> 00:58:46,481 - The Fuck King? Come on. - I know. It's weird. 1105 00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:50,277 I mean, it's not like you still have a crush on me. 1106 00:58:53,697 --> 00:58:54,948 Do you still have a crush on me? 1107 00:58:58,493 --> 00:58:59,661 - Excuse me. - Wha... 1108 00:58:59,745 --> 00:59:01,830 Come with me. The doctor would like to see you. 1109 00:59:01,955 --> 00:59:04,416 - Okay, yeah, great. Let's go. - Yeah, let's go. 1110 00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:07,335 Um... Donnie. Hey. 1111 00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:09,671 The doctor wants to see us. Let's go. 1112 00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:12,007 - Okay. - Were you just... 1113 00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:13,300 God damn. 1114 00:59:15,844 --> 00:59:17,512 - Sean. Let's go. - Yeah. 1115 00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:21,558 Yeah. Yeah, I'm on my... Yeah, I'm on my way. 1116 00:59:23,685 --> 00:59:25,270 - What's your problem? - Nothing. 1117 00:59:25,353 --> 00:59:28,273 I lost something. I can't remember... 1118 00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:29,691 if I... 1119 00:59:30,942 --> 00:59:33,403 - Sean, do you have a boner? - I don't have a boner. 1120 00:59:33,487 --> 00:59:34,988 Just my back hurts, and... 1121 00:59:35,489 --> 00:59:36,406 So... 1122 00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:40,452 basically every time you touch Sean, he gets a raging bonie. 1123 00:59:42,329 --> 00:59:44,915 See? I told you. You give him boners. 1124 00:59:44,998 --> 00:59:45,874 What? 1125 00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:48,251 I don't have a bonie. 1126 00:59:51,630 --> 00:59:52,589 Did you just fart? 1127 00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:53,673 No, it was the seat. 1128 00:59:53,757 --> 00:59:56,093 Oh, my God. Do you have the farts and a boner? 1129 00:59:56,176 --> 01:00:00,555 - I don't have farts or a boner. - One of those is a lie. 1130 01:00:00,639 --> 01:00:03,934 - Let's... You got it. You got it. - Do you, buddy. 1131 01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:06,186 - Thank you. - Shocking, man. 1132 01:00:06,353 --> 01:00:07,187 Thanks. 1133 01:00:19,241 --> 01:00:21,952 Good news. Surgery went perfectly. 1134 01:00:22,035 --> 01:00:23,328 Oh, my God. 1135 01:00:23,411 --> 01:00:24,996 Well, not perfectly. 1136 01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:26,873 But as good as we could have hoped. 1137 01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:30,335 We have a successful reattachment, and your friend's gonna be fine. 1138 01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:32,712 What about the snake venom? 1139 01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:34,422 There was no venom in the penis. 1140 01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:36,675 Yeah, man. You sucked that shit out. 1141 01:00:36,758 --> 01:00:38,760 No. 1142 01:00:38,844 --> 01:00:41,930 - There was never any venom in the penis. - Huh? 1143 01:00:42,097 --> 01:00:44,391 It's impossible to suck venom out of a bite wound. 1144 01:00:45,475 --> 01:00:46,726 It was a defensive bite. 1145 01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:48,061 Whatever, man. 1146 01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:50,772 - Don't listen. He doesn't know shit. - Yeah. 1147 01:00:50,856 --> 01:00:52,399 Right. I'm just a doctor. 1148 01:00:52,941 --> 01:00:56,486 Anyway, your friend whose dick you sucked for no reason 1149 01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:59,865 is gonna be under a bit longer, but you can go in and see him. 1150 01:00:59,948 --> 01:01:02,367 Sure he'd love to wake up to some friendly faces. 1151 01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:04,911 Salty. 1152 01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:09,916 Here we go. 1153 01:01:10,292 --> 01:01:11,168 All right. 1154 01:01:11,585 --> 01:01:12,919 Let's do it. 1155 01:01:24,806 --> 01:01:25,932 Who's this? 1156 01:01:28,476 --> 01:01:30,312 Um, hi, excuse me. Nurse. 1157 01:01:30,437 --> 01:01:33,982 The doctor told us the wrong room. We're looking for Jeremy Abelar. 1158 01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:36,401 Jeremy... Abelar. 1159 01:01:37,402 --> 01:01:40,113 No, we don't have a Jeremy Abelar in recovery. 1160 01:01:40,197 --> 01:01:43,241 The doctor told us that he transferred from surgery. 1161 01:01:43,325 --> 01:01:46,119 Let's make this simpler. It's the guy that got his wiener reattached. 1162 01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:48,580 Yeah. That's him. Reginald Knudson. 1163 01:01:48,955 --> 01:01:51,124 - No, no, no. - The other person for a severed penis. 1164 01:01:51,208 --> 01:01:52,042 Yeah. 1165 01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:57,088 If there was somebody else here with a severed penis, trust me, I'd know. 1166 01:01:57,172 --> 01:01:58,340 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1167 01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:02,135 If... if Jeremy's not here, then... 1168 01:02:02,844 --> 01:02:05,138 We gave someone else Jeremy's penis. 1169 01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:06,556 What? 1170 01:02:07,599 --> 01:02:08,934 That's our friend's dick? 1171 01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:10,685 That's our friend's dick. 1172 01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:13,396 - That's our friend's dick! Oh, my God. - That right? 1173 01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:15,565 - What kind of fucking hospital is this? - Security! 1174 01:02:18,193 --> 01:02:20,237 You have my friend's penis. 1175 01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,656 Hang on for one second. It's a simple mistake. 1176 01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,867 It's an honest mistake, I'm sure. But you guys have the wrong penis, okay? 1177 01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:27,619 You have the wrong penis and... 1178 01:02:28,995 --> 01:02:31,581 You all saw that! You're witnesses! 1179 01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:33,166 - Are you okay? - That's a felony! 1180 01:02:33,250 --> 01:02:36,086 All right, we need to figure out if there's a head of the hospital 1181 01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:38,380 and explain the situation and see if... 1182 01:02:38,463 --> 01:02:41,091 And what? They'll just grow him another dick 1183 01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:42,926 with their magic dick-making machine? 1184 01:02:44,344 --> 01:02:47,681 - I'm not just gonna give up. - You have no idea where Jeremy is. 1185 01:02:48,348 --> 01:02:49,599 It's pretty obvious we're done. 1186 01:02:49,683 --> 01:02:50,725 That's awesome, Donnie. 1187 01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:53,186 Sarah, I'm sorry. Can you tell your boyfriend or whatever 1188 01:02:53,270 --> 01:02:55,605 to stop throwing a little baby boy tantrum right now. 1189 01:02:57,148 --> 01:02:59,943 Maybe I should be more like you. Right? Manipulate things. 1190 01:03:00,026 --> 01:03:03,655 Make 'em go my way. Like what you did with the medevac. 1191 01:03:04,030 --> 01:03:06,074 - Shut the fuck up. - What are you talking about? 1192 01:03:06,199 --> 01:03:09,661 Uh, while your brother was lying there, maybe about to die, uh... 1193 01:03:10,412 --> 01:03:13,540 Sean was pretending to be you and texting Chad from your phone. 1194 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:15,834 Sean. 1195 01:03:16,543 --> 01:03:17,877 Sea... Sean? 1196 01:03:18,586 --> 01:03:19,796 Are you serious? 1197 01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:23,258 - You... - It was... It was an accident. I was... 1198 01:03:23,341 --> 01:03:25,969 How is texting my boyfriend as me an accident? 1199 01:03:26,052 --> 01:03:27,721 You guys weren't even technically together. 1200 01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:30,390 What? What? What did you say? What did you say to him? 1201 01:03:31,599 --> 01:03:35,020 I said, "Fuck you. We're done." And then I called him "dirty taint." 1202 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:37,480 Wow. 1203 01:03:37,564 --> 01:03:39,566 - Yeah. - Um, okay. 1204 01:03:39,774 --> 01:03:41,526 The... the voicemail? 1205 01:03:43,111 --> 01:03:45,196 The voicemail he sent me. 1206 01:03:46,448 --> 01:03:49,284 I, um... I need to... I need to go. 1207 01:03:50,076 --> 01:03:52,829 - I'm sorry. I need to borrow your phone. - No. What the hell? 1208 01:03:52,912 --> 01:03:54,706 You do not want to fuck with me right now! 1209 01:03:56,583 --> 01:03:58,960 Just messaging Chad and telling him to pick me up. 1210 01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:00,378 Becky... 1211 01:04:04,674 --> 01:04:06,217 Of course, he's online. Okay. 1212 01:04:06,301 --> 01:04:07,886 He's coming to pick me up. 1213 01:04:08,303 --> 01:04:09,137 Thank you. 1214 01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:10,847 Sarah, let's go. 1215 01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:21,483 Becky! Becky! 1216 01:04:21,566 --> 01:04:22,609 Becky. 1217 01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:26,321 Use the twin connection. 1218 01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:28,448 Find me. 1219 01:04:28,823 --> 01:04:32,243 If you can hear me, please hurry up and come and save me. 1220 01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:34,204 Becky! 1221 01:04:34,287 --> 01:04:36,498 Nope, it's me Darlene. Hello. 1222 01:04:36,623 --> 01:04:38,375 Um, so... 1223 01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:40,418 we got you an operating room. 1224 01:04:40,502 --> 01:04:41,669 I'm telling you, lady. 1225 01:04:42,003 --> 01:04:43,171 My friends are close. 1226 01:04:43,505 --> 01:04:45,882 And I'm telling you, it doesn't matter if they're close. 1227 01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:50,845 By now, unless your penis somehow got fresh, oxygenated blood in it, 1228 01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:53,264 it's dead. 1229 01:04:53,598 --> 01:04:57,560 No, no, no, no! Don't. 1230 01:04:57,644 --> 01:04:58,645 Oh, my God. 1231 01:04:59,104 --> 01:05:02,816 There's no point in waiting any longer for trash to arrive. 1232 01:05:03,191 --> 01:05:05,360 Okay, fine. 1233 01:05:06,319 --> 01:05:07,779 Let's do the butt-skin dick. 1234 01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:09,906 A graft is no longer an option. 1235 01:05:09,989 --> 01:05:11,533 - What? - Do you smell that? 1236 01:05:11,616 --> 01:05:14,327 You know we don't serve blue cheese in the cafeteria, right? 1237 01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:15,495 That... that is... 1238 01:05:16,246 --> 01:05:17,288 That's your hole. 1239 01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:18,665 I'm sorry. 1240 01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,043 The anesthesiologist will be in shortly. 1241 01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:27,924 Wow. So this is really happening. 1242 01:05:32,095 --> 01:05:34,013 I can't believe I shat on your chances with Becky. 1243 01:05:34,139 --> 01:05:37,725 Yeah, it's my own fault. I'm a fucking idiot. 1244 01:05:38,143 --> 01:05:39,352 Uh, no. 1245 01:05:40,562 --> 01:05:44,566 Also, I'm really sorry I started the rumor about you going to rehab for bath salts. 1246 01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:46,067 What? That was you? 1247 01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:49,195 I feel like we both now know I have problems with abandonment. 1248 01:05:49,279 --> 01:05:50,405 - Yep. - I can't believe 1249 01:05:50,488 --> 01:05:52,157 I found a dick in the sewer. 1250 01:05:52,449 --> 01:05:55,535 Believe it, young'un. You just got your dick cherry popped. 1251 01:05:55,618 --> 01:05:56,828 Gonna need a new cooler. 1252 01:05:57,704 --> 01:05:58,830 - Fuck. - Dude. 1253 01:05:58,913 --> 01:06:02,208 - Yo. Yo, yo, yo. - They have the redneck's dick. 1254 01:06:02,876 --> 01:06:03,835 If... 1255 01:06:04,711 --> 01:06:06,296 we can get it to the doctor... 1256 01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:11,509 then the doctor can reattach it and we can get Jeremy's penis back. 1257 01:06:11,843 --> 01:06:13,470 We haven't been good friends to each other. 1258 01:06:13,553 --> 01:06:15,847 - I feel like I've been a good friend... - But... 1259 01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,807 we can be best friends for Jeremy. 1260 01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:19,601 Let's do it. 1261 01:06:31,696 --> 01:06:32,697 Hey, man. 1262 01:06:33,281 --> 01:06:34,407 Who the hell are you? 1263 01:06:35,325 --> 01:06:37,952 - I said no visitors. - Uh, I'm really sorry. 1264 01:06:38,369 --> 01:06:40,788 There's something that you should know about... 1265 01:06:41,748 --> 01:06:42,874 your penis. 1266 01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:45,710 Er, I mean, it's not your penis... 1267 01:06:46,294 --> 01:06:48,171 You have our friend Jeremy's penis. 1268 01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:50,256 What the hell are you talking about? 1269 01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:52,842 - They put our friend's penis on you. - Yes, they did. 1270 01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:57,055 Like, not like when I was out, they put your friend's dick on my face... 1271 01:06:57,180 --> 01:07:00,183 I don't know, maybe that happened. But then they sewed it on you. 1272 01:07:03,353 --> 01:07:06,481 You're gonna see right away it's our friend Jeremy's penis. 1273 01:07:07,232 --> 01:07:09,609 Oh, my God. 1274 01:07:10,401 --> 01:07:11,402 That is not my dick. 1275 01:07:11,486 --> 01:07:13,238 That's not your dick. It's what I said. 1276 01:07:13,321 --> 01:07:15,907 Why? Why? Why is it so ugly? 1277 01:07:15,990 --> 01:07:17,534 - Yeah. - Oh, my God. 1278 01:07:17,867 --> 01:07:20,119 Where did they find this? A little Navajo boy? 1279 01:07:20,203 --> 01:07:21,454 It's a normal-looking dick. 1280 01:07:21,538 --> 01:07:23,581 Once the swelling goes down, it's gonna get smaller? 1281 01:07:23,665 --> 01:07:26,876 Are you fucking kidding me? How am I supposed to work with this? 1282 01:07:27,669 --> 01:07:30,713 Ugh. You two again? Hey! Am I gonna have to call security? 1283 01:07:30,797 --> 01:07:32,632 Oh, hey, it's Dr. Malpractice. 1284 01:07:32,757 --> 01:07:35,301 Guess what? You sewed the wrong dick onto the wrong body. 1285 01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:37,762 If you don't want us to fuck your world up, you listen. 1286 01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:41,140 Two water sanitation workers just came into the hospital with his dick. 1287 01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:43,351 - What? My real penis is here? - Yeah, man. 1288 01:07:43,434 --> 01:07:45,562 What we need you to do is reattach 'em. 1289 01:07:45,895 --> 01:07:49,774 Guys... You don't just pop 'em on and off. 1290 01:07:49,857 --> 01:07:51,609 It's a delicate operation. 1291 01:07:52,110 --> 01:07:53,486 It's not a fucking LEGO set. 1292 01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:56,322 That dick is staying on that body. 1293 01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:59,617 Are you trying to tell me that I'm stuck with this... 1294 01:08:00,785 --> 01:08:02,620 - this thing? - Hey, man. 1295 01:08:03,037 --> 01:08:03,871 That thing... 1296 01:08:04,664 --> 01:08:05,790 that fucking thing... 1297 01:08:06,624 --> 01:08:09,502 belonged to a goddamn majestic person. 1298 01:08:09,877 --> 01:08:11,337 And you need to respect 1299 01:08:11,421 --> 01:08:14,632 that you got a part of my friend on you now forever. 1300 01:08:15,425 --> 01:08:17,051 Okay? You got a piece of Jeremy. 1301 01:08:17,510 --> 01:08:18,636 It's a good dick. 1302 01:08:20,597 --> 01:08:22,473 You need to honor that penis. 1303 01:08:22,557 --> 01:08:26,686 And bring it as much joy as Jeremy brings us 1304 01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:28,688 every time you take it out. 1305 01:08:28,771 --> 01:08:31,274 Because it belonged to a great dude. 1306 01:08:31,357 --> 01:08:32,191 The best. 1307 01:08:33,484 --> 01:08:35,903 You guys seem like some really good friends. 1308 01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:39,616 I wish I would have listened to my buddies 1309 01:08:39,699 --> 01:08:42,327 when they told me that Cheryl was a psycho bitch. 1310 01:08:42,702 --> 01:08:44,078 Never would have let her tie me up. 1311 01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:46,414 I thought she just wanted to get freaky. 1312 01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:49,208 - Maybe do some butt stuff. - That's awesome. 1313 01:08:49,292 --> 01:08:50,501 Anything goes, you know? 1314 01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:54,631 She put on her sexy little Juicy Cooter slip. 1315 01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:58,593 Got my rod all hard. 1316 01:08:58,676 --> 01:08:59,594 Cool. 1317 01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:02,388 She started licking all up in my ear, you know. 1318 01:09:03,014 --> 01:09:05,391 Saying sexy sweet nothings and whatnot. 1319 01:09:05,767 --> 01:09:07,769 And she leans in and she whispers... 1320 01:09:09,312 --> 01:09:11,564 "I know about you and my sister." 1321 01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:16,944 Yeah, and then she whips out a pair of scissors... and bam! 1322 01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:19,822 She snips my dick clean off. 1323 01:09:19,906 --> 01:09:21,574 - Yep. - And then she flushed it. 1324 01:09:21,866 --> 01:09:24,494 She flushed my pee-pee like a poo-poo. 1325 01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,246 She sounds like one bag of trash. 1326 01:09:27,330 --> 01:09:28,247 Yep. 1327 01:09:28,831 --> 01:09:30,333 You know what the craziest part is? 1328 01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:34,671 I still love her. 1329 01:09:35,380 --> 01:09:36,214 There it is. 1330 01:09:36,798 --> 01:09:39,592 You know, I know it's just a dirty toilet dick but, doctor... 1331 01:09:41,219 --> 01:09:44,722 I'd like to give these two young men my old penis. 1332 01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:47,892 - That's awesome. - You know, that might work. 1333 01:09:47,975 --> 01:09:49,686 Yeah. Because... 1334 01:09:51,062 --> 01:09:54,649 everybody deserves a second chance. 1335 01:09:54,774 --> 01:09:56,734 Even me? 1336 01:09:58,486 --> 01:09:59,362 Cheryl. 1337 01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:03,241 Oh, baby. I'm sorry, baby. 1338 01:10:03,825 --> 01:10:05,243 Baby, I'm so sorry. 1339 01:10:05,326 --> 01:10:08,204 No, baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing. 1340 01:10:08,287 --> 01:10:10,790 I don't know what I was thinking. 1341 01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:15,753 I just went in. I... I grabbed 'em and I snipped it. 1342 01:10:15,837 --> 01:10:18,840 You got through it real easy, too. I was surprised. 1343 01:10:18,923 --> 01:10:20,466 Can you ever forgive me? 1344 01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:22,927 If I could suck it back on, I would. 1345 01:10:23,010 --> 01:10:25,513 I know it was the drugs. I know it was the drugs. 1346 01:10:25,596 --> 01:10:27,223 You know it was the drugs. 1347 01:10:27,306 --> 01:10:28,725 - Baby. - Yeah? 1348 01:10:28,808 --> 01:10:31,853 - And how about a little kiss? - Yeah, okay. 1349 01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:34,522 That feels good. Little kisses of an angel. 1350 01:10:34,605 --> 01:10:37,400 - Yeah. It's okay. - Oh, my God. 1351 01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:41,279 - Baby. Oh, I love you so much. - I love you so much. 1352 01:10:41,362 --> 01:10:42,447 - Let's go. - Oh, Jesus. 1353 01:10:42,530 --> 01:10:45,533 - You're my king. - The scepter has been repaired. 1354 01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:47,827 When's little Reggie gonna be ready for me to... 1355 01:10:47,910 --> 01:10:50,037 Hey, guys! Guys, guys! Look... 1356 01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,624 I think they can attach Reginald's penis to your friend. 1357 01:10:54,083 --> 01:10:57,420 Okay? It's in the cold storage. One floor up, end of the hall. 1358 01:10:57,920 --> 01:10:59,005 Take my key card. 1359 01:10:59,672 --> 01:11:01,883 - Why aren't you coming? - "Why aren't you coming?" 1360 01:11:01,966 --> 01:11:05,052 How about I don't want to get sued? If they ask, I'll tell them you stole it. 1361 01:11:05,136 --> 01:11:07,430 Wow. That's so great of you. You're so nice. 1362 01:11:07,513 --> 01:11:09,307 Oh! 1363 01:11:09,390 --> 01:11:10,224 Oh, Scheiße! 1364 01:11:10,308 --> 01:11:11,809 What the fuck did you do that for? 1365 01:11:11,893 --> 01:11:14,562 So they believe we stole the key card. I don't know. 1366 01:11:14,645 --> 01:11:17,315 I have a super fucking sensitive nose, you guys. 1367 01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:20,234 Why? Why? 1368 01:11:20,318 --> 01:11:21,986 Oh, my God! 1369 01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:24,447 - Holy shi... - Oh, my God! 1370 01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:25,364 She cut it off again! 1371 01:11:25,448 --> 01:11:29,827 I did, 'cause you don't deserve no cock, you cheating son of a bitch. 1372 01:11:29,911 --> 01:11:32,288 Oh, you fucking crazy ho bag! 1373 01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:34,582 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need that! - It's my cock! 1374 01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:36,083 It's my dick. 1375 01:11:40,797 --> 01:11:42,340 - Jesus! - Oh! 1376 01:11:42,423 --> 01:11:44,467 You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cut it up 1377 01:11:44,550 --> 01:11:46,719 like a little three-year-old's lunch. 1378 01:11:46,803 --> 01:11:49,847 - She will do it. Trust me. - I'll do it. I'm crazy! 1379 01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,599 Oh! You're crazy, lady! 1380 01:11:53,935 --> 01:11:55,520 Ow! Where'd she go? 1381 01:11:55,603 --> 01:11:57,647 Where is she? 1382 01:11:57,730 --> 01:11:59,023 Oh, my God. 1383 01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:01,734 - Oh, fuck! - What the fuck? 1384 01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:05,530 I don't care how many times you reattach it, Reggie. 1385 01:12:05,905 --> 01:12:08,950 I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna cut it off, 1386 01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:12,537 and I'm gonna flush it every time. 1387 01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:14,747 - Don't you dare. - Get it, Donnie! Get it, Donnie! 1388 01:12:14,831 --> 01:12:16,082 She'll do it. 1389 01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:19,502 Cheryl, give me that. 1390 01:12:24,423 --> 01:12:26,676 Oh! 1391 01:12:28,302 --> 01:12:30,930 Blow it down! Blow the dick down. 1392 01:12:32,682 --> 01:12:33,891 I got you now. 1393 01:12:35,309 --> 01:12:38,479 Whoa! Whoa! 1394 01:12:38,563 --> 01:12:40,273 - Wait a minute, baby! - What? 1395 01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:41,691 I love you. 1396 01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:45,903 I love you too, Reggie. Why do you think I'm doing all this? 1397 01:12:46,112 --> 01:12:47,321 Security! 1398 01:12:48,990 --> 01:12:51,534 - Mission accomplished, bitch! - God damn it! 1399 01:12:51,617 --> 01:12:53,119 Oh! 1400 01:12:55,913 --> 01:12:58,124 It was just supposed to be camping. 1401 01:13:00,668 --> 01:13:02,753 - Oh, fuck. - I'm gonna pick it up. 1402 01:13:03,921 --> 01:13:06,340 I'm gonna flip it like dog poop. 1403 01:13:09,844 --> 01:13:12,847 Well, boys, I guess you get your wish. You got your friend's dick back. 1404 01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:14,974 Thanks! Let's go. Come on. 1405 01:13:15,057 --> 01:13:16,309 Good luck, boys! 1406 01:13:17,059 --> 01:13:18,019 Oh, shit. 1407 01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:22,106 You okay? 1408 01:13:25,735 --> 01:13:28,237 - Oh, hey, it's the girls. It's the girls. - What? 1409 01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:32,074 Hey. 1410 01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:34,243 What's going on? 1411 01:13:34,619 --> 01:13:36,871 We... we have Jeremy's penis. 1412 01:13:36,954 --> 01:13:38,831 Thought it got sewn on to that other guy. 1413 01:13:39,123 --> 01:13:40,791 - Oh, it... It did. - Well, yeah. 1414 01:13:48,299 --> 01:13:49,258 'Sup, babe? 1415 01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:50,718 It's fucking Chad. 1416 01:13:59,518 --> 01:14:02,188 Here. Take... take it. 1417 01:14:04,357 --> 01:14:06,359 I know you're done with me, but the receptionist said 1418 01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:08,444 there are five other hospitals Jeremy could be in. 1419 01:14:08,527 --> 01:14:12,865 We're gonna drive around and call around and see if we can find out where he is. 1420 01:14:12,949 --> 01:14:15,368 And if we figure it out before you... 1421 01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:19,538 I will text you. I'll text... Chad. 1422 01:14:20,790 --> 01:14:22,416 As me this time, not as you. 1423 01:14:25,044 --> 01:14:26,170 Do it. 1424 01:14:26,837 --> 01:14:30,216 You know what, I am really sorry that I sent that text. 1425 01:14:30,383 --> 01:14:32,551 But you deserve to be with somebody who respects you. 1426 01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,306 Not somebody who cheats on you. 1427 01:14:40,726 --> 01:14:43,270 You're amazing, and I really like you. 1428 01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:44,939 And I've always liked you. 1429 01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:48,693 And not... always... I haven't... 1430 01:14:48,901 --> 01:14:51,320 I don't, like, like you like a lot. Like a lot, a lot. 1431 01:14:51,404 --> 01:14:53,906 I just think you're cool, and I think you think I'm cool, 1432 01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:56,867 and that we're cool together. And it's cool that we... 1433 01:14:56,951 --> 01:14:58,619 have this thing and... 1434 01:14:58,911 --> 01:15:01,372 You know, I am not trying to make... 1435 01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:10,464 God. Oh, no, no, no, no. No. No, no, no. 1436 01:15:10,548 --> 01:15:12,758 Don't worry, I put it in a baggie like dog shit. 1437 01:15:13,217 --> 01:15:14,677 It's still pretty gross. 1438 01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:16,470 - Ugh. - Sorry. 1439 01:15:18,889 --> 01:15:19,765 Ugh. 1440 01:15:22,768 --> 01:15:25,771 Anyway, I'm really sorry about everything and... 1441 01:15:27,898 --> 01:15:29,150 I hope that you can forgive me. 1442 01:15:30,067 --> 01:15:32,403 Yeah. 1443 01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:39,326 - Come on down, babe. Let's go. - Great. 1444 01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:40,745 One sec. 1445 01:15:41,787 --> 01:15:43,748 Why the fuck did I message Chad? 1446 01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:46,584 Come on. Let's go. 1447 01:15:47,918 --> 01:15:50,254 We're going to save Jeremy. 1448 01:15:52,882 --> 01:15:54,216 You guys coming or... 1449 01:15:54,842 --> 01:15:57,845 What? So, my speech was good? 1450 01:15:58,262 --> 01:15:59,096 No. 1451 01:15:59,597 --> 01:16:02,266 But, hey, I think I got what you were trying to say. 1452 01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:06,145 You messed up. You're sorry. I deserve respect. 1453 01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:07,730 We like each other. 1454 01:16:08,773 --> 01:16:09,815 Yeah. 1455 01:16:10,149 --> 01:16:11,025 I got it. 1456 01:16:12,443 --> 01:16:15,946 - Cool. - Let's go get Jeremy his dick back. 1457 01:16:16,030 --> 01:16:18,240 - Yeah! - Whoo! 1458 01:16:20,076 --> 01:16:22,912 - 'Sup, babe? - Sorry, Chad, we're broken up. Bye. 1459 01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:25,790 - 'Sup, Chad? - What the fuck? Are you serious? 1460 01:16:25,873 --> 01:16:27,333 I drove all the way out here! 1461 01:16:27,666 --> 01:16:28,918 Your loss, Becky. 1462 01:16:29,001 --> 01:16:32,254 I even got a fake ID so we could drink margaritas in Cancun. 1463 01:16:33,297 --> 01:16:35,257 - Wait. Holy shit. Stop the car. - What? 1464 01:16:35,341 --> 01:16:36,884 - What? - Stop the car. Stop. 1465 01:16:36,967 --> 01:16:38,719 - I know how to find Jeremy. - How? 1466 01:16:38,844 --> 01:16:41,013 Jeremy bought us booze on the drive out to the mountains. 1467 01:16:41,097 --> 01:16:42,056 So, what? 1468 01:16:42,139 --> 01:16:45,101 The military ID was the one in his wallet. His fake! 1469 01:16:45,184 --> 01:16:48,979 Oh! The hospital admitted him under the name on his fake ID. 1470 01:16:49,063 --> 01:16:52,233 Jack motherfucking Jessop! 1471 01:16:52,316 --> 01:16:53,484 What the fuck? 1472 01:16:53,567 --> 01:16:55,194 - Holy shit. - I'm calling it in. 1473 01:16:55,277 --> 01:16:58,197 - Which hospital? You said there were five. - East General. The first place. 1474 01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:01,200 East General Hospital? 1475 01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:05,579 Hi, can you connect us to Jack Jessop, please? 1476 01:17:05,704 --> 01:17:06,622 One moment. 1477 01:17:13,295 --> 01:17:14,755 And connecting you now. 1478 01:17:14,839 --> 01:17:17,216 - Yes. - Yes! No, yes! 1479 01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,137 Just relax. 1480 01:17:22,179 --> 01:17:23,639 And count back from 100. 1481 01:17:23,722 --> 01:17:25,975 We'll be back shortly to take you into the OR. 1482 01:17:34,733 --> 01:17:37,194 - Hello? - Jeremy! 1483 01:17:37,278 --> 01:17:38,154 Jeremy! 1484 01:17:38,237 --> 01:17:40,781 Becky, where are you guys? They're trying to sew up my nub. 1485 01:17:40,865 --> 01:17:43,617 No, no, no! Tell them no. We're gonna be there soon, okay? 1486 01:17:43,701 --> 01:17:45,202 Please tell me you have my pee-pee. 1487 01:17:45,286 --> 01:17:46,412 We have it! 1488 01:17:46,495 --> 01:17:49,206 - Yes. - Please, I just want my pee-pee back. 1489 01:17:49,290 --> 01:17:52,042 - Stop calling it your pee-pee. - The doctor, Becky. 1490 01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:54,545 He said it's too late. 1491 01:17:55,045 --> 01:17:58,465 They pumped me with a lot of drugs, and now they're taking me to surgery. 1492 01:17:58,549 --> 01:18:00,551 - Ooh, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no. 1493 01:18:00,634 --> 01:18:01,635 Don't. Hold off. 1494 01:18:01,719 --> 01:18:04,513 - Nurse. Nurse. - We're gonna be there really soon. 1495 01:18:04,597 --> 01:18:07,349 - Do not let them take you into surgery. - Hi, Grandpa. 1496 01:18:09,310 --> 01:18:10,811 - Oh, shit. - We gotta go. 1497 01:18:11,478 --> 01:18:13,314 - Yeah, we gotta. - We gotta go. We gotta go. 1498 01:18:16,275 --> 01:18:20,696 Oh! He is out. Let's get him into surgery. 1499 01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,532 Say night-night to The Danish Girl. 1500 01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:32,625 Let's go! 1501 01:18:34,168 --> 01:18:35,044 Come on! 1502 01:19:09,078 --> 01:19:10,371 No! 1503 01:20:00,796 --> 01:20:01,839 Yes! 1504 01:20:22,359 --> 01:20:28,490 Stop! Stop the surgery! I have the dick! 1505 01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:37,082 Oh, shit. 1506 01:20:40,753 --> 01:20:43,255 Um, excuse me? 1507 01:20:47,551 --> 01:20:48,969 I think this belongs to him. 1508 01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:03,609 Look, I'm really sorry that I freaked out when you tried to ask what our deal was. 1509 01:21:07,446 --> 01:21:09,782 But if you're still interested, maybe we could DTR sometime. 1510 01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:10,741 Yes. 1511 01:21:11,784 --> 01:21:13,369 What? Yeah. No, yeah. 1512 01:21:13,452 --> 01:21:15,454 - That was a really quick answer. - What? 1513 01:21:15,537 --> 01:21:16,413 That'd be cool. 1514 01:21:18,248 --> 01:21:20,501 I can't wait, Sarah. 1515 01:21:23,712 --> 01:21:24,630 Me too, Donnie. 1516 01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:30,886 Just to clarify, we're talking about "dick to rim," 1517 01:21:30,969 --> 01:21:32,763 not "define the relationship," right? 1518 01:21:36,725 --> 01:21:37,643 I'm kidding. 1519 01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:46,735 Well, this is probably my last moment of freedom. 1520 01:21:46,819 --> 01:21:49,029 As I'll be grounded for the rest of my life. 1521 01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:51,365 I'm really sorry your parents are gonna kill you. 1522 01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:52,783 Oh, no. It's fine. 1523 01:21:52,866 --> 01:21:56,161 I mean, the rest of this year is gonna be super boring, anyway. 1524 01:21:56,703 --> 01:21:58,747 Someone I know is going back to Germany. 1525 01:22:07,214 --> 01:22:09,091 - Uh... nope. - Oh. 1526 01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:11,343 Uh, I'm sorry, I just... 1527 01:22:12,302 --> 01:22:15,514 I just remembered that you had my brother's dick in your mouth earlier. 1528 01:22:16,682 --> 01:22:18,225 Uh, so maybe... 1529 01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:20,269 maybe we should wait. 1530 01:22:20,853 --> 01:22:22,020 Okay, yeah. 1531 01:22:22,104 --> 01:22:23,021 That makes sense. 1532 01:22:23,105 --> 01:22:25,232 - Totally makes sense. I'm on board. - Cool. 1533 01:22:30,112 --> 01:22:31,530 - Don't. - Oh. 1534 01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:33,740 - Still got dick lips. - Still... Yeah. 1535 01:22:33,824 --> 01:22:36,076 - Dick mouth. - Yeah. 1536 01:22:37,578 --> 01:22:39,872 - Can you smell the dick? Okay. - No. No, no, no. 1537 01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:41,957 - It's just the image of it. Yeah. - Right. 1538 01:22:58,599 --> 01:23:02,102 - Jesus. What do you have in here? - I got a lot of stuff. I got books. 1539 01:23:02,186 --> 01:23:03,270 Books on what? 1540 01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:06,064 - Books on Germany. - Don't they have those books in Germany? 1541 01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:09,359 - All right, this is it. - Yeah. 1542 01:23:10,569 --> 01:23:12,779 Really think your brother's gonna miss you, bro. 1543 01:23:12,905 --> 01:23:14,698 Yeah, I know what you mean. 1544 01:23:14,781 --> 01:23:16,742 Make it stop! 1545 01:23:16,825 --> 01:23:19,119 - Make it stop! - What the fuck? Seriously? Again? 1546 01:23:19,203 --> 01:23:20,204 - It's so good! - Stop! 1547 01:23:20,662 --> 01:23:23,165 You have to protect your Wi-Fi, Mr. Floyd. 1548 01:23:23,248 --> 01:23:25,501 I don't know how! 1549 01:23:25,584 --> 01:23:28,086 Turn it off, man. 1550 01:23:28,629 --> 01:23:30,214 What? Is this my ride? 1551 01:23:30,297 --> 01:23:32,174 - What? - What is this thing? 1552 01:23:35,677 --> 01:23:37,262 - Hey. - Hey. 1553 01:23:37,971 --> 01:23:39,973 - Ready to go? - Yeah! Oh, yeah. 1554 01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,725 Sean, good luck finishing rehab. 1555 01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:43,894 - Ha! - Thank you. 1556 01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:47,356 I know I said I'd drive you to the airport, just us, 1557 01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:49,358 but someone got out of the hospital early. 1558 01:24:01,578 --> 01:24:02,871 What's up? 1559 01:24:03,330 --> 01:24:04,248 Dude! 1560 01:24:04,331 --> 01:24:05,791 - Cool. - That's so sick. 1561 01:24:05,874 --> 01:24:07,000 What's up, dogs? 1562 01:24:07,084 --> 01:24:09,920 Jeremy insisted that our parents rent him 1563 01:24:10,003 --> 01:24:11,922 a wheelchair van. 1564 01:24:12,005 --> 01:24:15,592 It's like we have a dumb Stephen Hawking just rascaling around the house. 1565 01:24:15,676 --> 01:24:17,553 - Heh. - I cut my dick off. 1566 01:24:17,636 --> 01:24:20,097 Fucking pimp, right? I look like Professor X. 1567 01:24:20,264 --> 01:24:21,557 "Scott, you're a chump. 1568 01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:24,434 Logan's been tapping Jean since day one." 1569 01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:26,019 Oh, yeah. 1570 01:24:26,103 --> 01:24:29,690 Hey, Sean, also, don't tell Kendall about S-ing my D. 1571 01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:32,484 She's already pissed she can't be riding this dragon, you feel? 1572 01:24:32,985 --> 01:24:35,112 Right, yeah, she would be pissed if she were real. 1573 01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:45,205 Hey, guys. I'm Kendall. 1574 01:24:45,289 --> 01:24:48,417 Jennersss. 1575 01:24:49,251 --> 01:24:52,004 Thanks for making sure Little J made his way back home. 1576 01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:54,172 - Little J. - Oh, our pleasure. 1577 01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:57,301 - She calls it Little J? Disgusting. - I gotta give you two kisses. 1578 01:24:57,384 --> 01:24:59,553 - Okay. Two more kisses, but just two. - Okay. 1579 01:25:00,804 --> 01:25:03,390 Kendall, I told you just two! You're gonna rip the stitches. 1580 01:25:03,473 --> 01:25:05,183 I'm sorry, I just love you so much. 1581 01:25:05,267 --> 01:25:06,852 Why did you fuck with the ramp? 1582 01:25:06,977 --> 01:25:09,104 You gotta get back in. We're going to the airport. 1583 01:25:09,730 --> 01:25:10,772 Fuck me! All right, yeah. 1584 01:25:10,856 --> 01:25:12,441 - Let's get back in the van. - Come on. 1585 01:25:12,524 --> 01:25:13,817 Nice meeting you guys. 1586 01:25:13,900 --> 01:25:15,652 - Get back in the van. - Let's roll. 1587 01:25:15,736 --> 01:25:17,613 - Okay. - You got this. Come on, babe. 1588 01:25:17,696 --> 01:25:21,408 Bye, Jeremy's girlfriend. Hope you enjoy his Franken-peen when it's healed. 1589 01:25:21,533 --> 01:25:23,368 Franken-peen's funny. 1590 01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:25,329 - Good, right? - Come on. Keep it up. 1591 01:25:25,412 --> 01:25:26,330 I love you, babe. 1592 01:25:26,496 --> 01:25:29,041 - I love you too, babe. - #metoo, babe. 1593 01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:33,712 So, I could drive you to soccer practice if you wanted. 1594 01:25:34,546 --> 01:25:35,380 Yeah. 1595 01:25:35,881 --> 01:25:38,091 Maybe we can stop by the church parking lot on the way. 1596 01:25:38,634 --> 01:25:43,013 Yeah, absolutely. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Is it weird to say thank you? 1597 01:25:43,096 --> 01:25:45,140 - Little bit. - Yeah, it's strange. 1598 01:25:45,932 --> 01:25:46,808 All right. 1599 01:25:47,309 --> 01:25:48,935 So I wanted to... 1600 01:25:49,311 --> 01:25:50,562 give you something... 1601 01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:54,399 when I dropped you off at the airport, but now we got these two tagging along. 1602 01:25:54,483 --> 01:25:55,442 Ah, bummer. 1603 01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:59,905 Yeah, but what I wanted to give you was, um... 1604 01:26:01,365 --> 01:26:02,449 Give you this. 1605 01:26:03,283 --> 01:26:04,493 Oh. 1606 01:26:04,618 --> 01:26:06,078 The Fuck King. 1607 01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:08,538 What is the Fuck King without his condom crown? 1608 01:26:08,622 --> 01:26:10,540 Wow. Returns. 1609 01:26:10,624 --> 01:26:14,044 - Mm-hmm. - I don't know... I don't know why I... 1610 01:26:14,127 --> 01:26:15,087 Right, yeah. 1611 01:26:20,842 --> 01:26:22,469 Oh, my God. 1612 01:26:23,387 --> 01:26:25,347 You know we can see you, right? 1613 01:26:26,723 --> 01:26:30,143 Yo, Jeremy, Sean's tonguing your sister pretty hard right now. 1614 01:26:30,227 --> 01:26:32,854 What? Hold on. I'm missing it. I'm missing it. Hold up. 1615 01:26:32,938 --> 01:26:34,690 You know he had a dick in his mouth? 1616 01:26:34,773 --> 01:26:37,150 Yeah, well, in 20 minutes, I'll have a dick in mine. 1617 01:26:39,778 --> 01:26:41,947 What? What? Really? 1618 01:26:42,781 --> 01:26:43,657 No. 1619 01:26:44,950 --> 01:26:45,867 Great. Thanks. 1620 01:26:48,161 --> 01:26:50,372 - Yo, can you see them? - I can't, babe. 1621 01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:51,498 I gotta get out. 1622 01:26:51,581 --> 01:26:53,875 - Becky! - Go, Sean. Take it horizontal. 1623 01:26:53,959 --> 01:26:57,212 - Stop making out with him! - Okay, I'll just do it myself. 1624 01:26:57,295 --> 01:26:59,005 Oh, my God. He's gonna get a boner. 1625 01:26:59,172 --> 01:27:00,674 Yeah! 1626 01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:03,677 - Babe? - Wait. 1627 01:27:03,760 --> 01:27:05,929 - Jeremy! - Get back in the car. 1628 01:27:06,054 --> 01:27:08,682 - Jeremy, get back in the car. - You're gonna get dirty. 1629 01:27:08,765 --> 01:27:10,642 Get it, Becky! This is her choice. 1630 01:27:10,726 --> 01:27:12,686 Jeremy, it's not like you can't walk. 1631 01:27:12,769 --> 01:27:15,939 - Your legs are fine. - What are you doing? Oh, my God! 1632 01:27:16,106 --> 01:27:18,108 Hips! Use those hips, girl! 1633 01:27:18,191 --> 01:27:21,361 Jeremy, stop being so fucking weird. It's your sister. 1634 01:27:21,445 --> 01:27:23,739 Oh, my God, babe. How's Little J? 1635 01:27:24,489 --> 01:27:27,325 - Oh, my God. - I'm gonna grab my own ass. 1636 01:27:27,409 --> 01:27:29,536 And then, Becky, tell me if you feel it, too. 1637 01:27:29,619 --> 01:27:32,914 - There's no twin connection, dude. - Oh, here we go. 1638 01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:34,040 It's beautiful. 1639 01:27:34,124 --> 01:27:37,502 I thought it'd be weird to watch your best friend make out, but... 1640 01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:39,421 I'm getting into it. 1641 01:27:39,796 --> 01:27:43,091 You guys, this is awesome. But I think I fucked up my stitches. 1642 01:27:43,175 --> 01:27:45,927 - I told you to be careful. - Let's cut to the music. 1643 01:30:09,696 --> 01:30:12,157 There's some trail mix in my teeth right now. 121974