Original subtitles

[theme music]

[honking]

[blows whistle]

[siren wailing]

[blows whistle]

screech

screech

crash

thud

slam

mwah

Oh, boy.

So all I need is to show up

and work with Housemaid's Needs.

Fred, did you get the ashtrays?

Yes, I got the ashtrays.

Oh, the next salesman that ask me

if the man of the house is in

is gonna find out the hard way.

Okay, Wilma, I'm through vacuuming. What next?

Better empty the trash, Fred.

Yes, I know, I know.

Quit nagging, will you?

'Boy, what a grouch.'

All I said was, "What's next?"

[gulps]

Hmm, my favorite, fillet of trash.

hiccup

What an awful time to sprain my ankle.

Just before mother gets here.

Fred, what are you doing?

What am I doing? Oh, boy.

I'm playing golf, I'm watching the fights.

I'm out bowling up a storm. What am I doing?

I'm mixing the dodo egg batter. That's what I'm doing.

I think you've beaten it enough, Fred.

Caw! I wish he'd beat it. I'm getting dizzy.

- Now what are you doing? - 'What am I doing?'

I'm doing what any guy does when his wife sprains her ankle

and he's stuck in the kitchen slicing onions.

I'm crying! That's what I'm doing. I'm crying.

I'm doing all the work and he's cryin'.

Try to control yourself, Fred.

Mother will be here any minute and she'll take over.

And how? She'll take over like Grant took Richmond.

Now, Fred

you are gonna try to get along with mother, aren't you?

I promised you, didn't I? I'm gonna try.

'I mean, it's only gonna be two weeks.'

- So was basic training. - 'Fred.'

[chuckles]

I'm only kidding, sweetheart.

This time, your mother and me are really gonna get along.

We're gonna talk to each other quietly

politely and pleasantly.

Yes, sir, quietly.

(Pearl) 'Wilma!'

thud

'My baby!'

Mama! Oh, it's good to see you.

Oh, my poor little girl.

From the looks of things, I got here just in time.

Land sakes, you look peaked.

But not that husband of yours though.

Oh, I'm fine mama, really.

(Pearl) 'You always were a brave girl.'

I don't expect much of you, sonny.

But the least you could do is greet me

when I come into your house.

Well, what have you got to say to me?

Sit down and shut up!

Bye, Wilma. I gotta give Barney his breakfast.

Talk to you later.

Honestly, sometimes I don't know what's the matter

with you men, Barney.

That's easy. You women.

[laughs]

Wilma's mother wasn't there five minutes

before Fred insulted her.

Five minutes. Hey, I wonder what took him so long.

Barney, she's only trying to be helpful.

How terrible can that be?

slurp

[coughing]

Oh, boy! How terrible can you get food?

What's the matter, sonny?

Don't you like the breakfast I cooked for you?

I seem to have lost my appetite.

What is this stuff, anyway?

Health food, sonny. Just what the doctor ordered.

Then let the doctor eat it!

[knocking on door]

This the Flintstone house?

(Pearl) 'Yes, boy. Bring everything right in.'

Right, madam.

(Pearl) 'Just hand them to sonny over there.'

Here you are, sonny.

crash

I'll go get the rest of the stuff.

Okay, Chuck, let's unload!

- 'Right, Pete!' - Back it up!

Yeah, yeah. Back, boy. Back, back, easy.

Well, isn't that a lot of stuff for a two-week visit?

Well, now, that's my surprise, sonny.

I knew Wilma could use some help here, so I sold my house.

You sold...your house?

That's right, sonny. I'm here to stay.

Well, what do you say about that?

Oh, boy!

Easy boy.

thump

crash

[yells] Wilma!

Say, where are we gonna put all this old junk?

Let's try moving that table over here.

[grunting]

No, that's not right. Bring it back.

[grunting]

Put my day bed where the table was.

[grunting]

I don't like it. Move it back.

[grunting]

What would happen if we, um, move the table

in place of the bureau

and the piano in place of the sofa?

I'd break my back, that's what will happen.

Now, look here.

Sonny, I think I know what you're gonna say.

- You do? - Yes, and you're right.

There just isn't room enough for three people in this house.

Well, there's always the garage.

[laughs]

I was thinking the very same thing.

[laughs]

[grunting]

thud

Oh! Phew.

That's the last load.

Now that you're settled, I'll go

hit a few golf balls with Barney.

You know it's kinda cute in here.

I'm glad you like it.

All it needs is some curtains and a rug.

And you got a regular home away from home, right?

Right, sonny.

You don't get many good ideas

but when you get one, it's right.

Well, thank you, mother.

I'm sure you'll be very comfortable out here.

I'll be very comfortable out here?

'Good. Then it's all settled, right?'

Wrong! Now, just a rock hittin' minute..

whack

[groaning]

I pay the rent. I buy the groceries.

That mother-in-law takes over the house

and I gotta stay in the garage.

swoosh

You missed, Fred.

Boy, what a mean mother Wilma's got.

- That's two, Fred. - 'And her cooking, wow.'

Lucky three, Fred.

Every time she serves you steak

you gotta check to see if your shoes are missin'.

swoosh swoosh swoosh

(Joe) 'Fo-o-ore!'

I kid you not, Barney. That woman has got to go.

twang

I'm sure it's around here.

Hey, anyone seen my ball?

- Oh, hiya, Joe. - 'Hiya, Barney.'

- Hiya, Joe. - 'Hiya, Fred.'

Well, Fred found it. Here you go, Joe.

(Joe) 'Aye, thanks, fellas.'

Say, I'd like you two to meet a visitor.

Mister, uh, mister..

Melville J. Mushrocks' the name.

Pleased to make your acquaintance.

- Oh, nice to meet you. - Yeah, me too.

Mr. Mushrocks' been traveling. Says he likes our town.

Nice little town you got here.

Reminds me of my hometown.

- Gold Nugget, Texas. - 'Gold Nugget?'

Folks named it after the riverbed full of gold nuggets

that runs through my 50,000 acre ranch.

Riverbed of gold nuggets?

Fifty thousand acre ranch?

'Course they named the town

before we found oil on my property.

(Fred) 'Oil too, huh?'

Yep, mighty good livin' in Gold Nugget.

- So how come you left? - Well, I'll tell you, son.

After living there 50 years, I decided to travel a spell.

And maybe find me a wife to take home and manage things.

Gettin' a mighty too big for one person to handle.

Take over and manage things.

Mr. Mushrocks, I was wonderin'--

No formalities, son. Call me Melville.

Well, Melville, since you're all alone in town

maybe you'd like to come to my house tonight for dinner.

Well, that's rotten neighborly of you, sonny

and I appreciate it.

But, uh, I'm not much company around feeding time.

'I eat nothing but health food.'

[laughs] Oh, boy!

Melville, this is your lucky day.

It just so happens that at this very minute

at my house is the sweetest, most managing widow lady

whoever cooked up a mess of good old healthy tree bark.

You wouldn't kid an old ranger, would you?

No, sir.

In that case, sonny, what are we waiting for?

Car's in front. Come on, Barney.

I gotta hand it to you, Fred.

'You really knocked those pins over tonight.'

Well, that's what sleeping on his own bed

will do for a guy.

Uh, you finally got out of the garage, huh?

Yeah. He-he-he.

Well, how'd you do it, Fred?

How'd you get Wilma's mother off your back?

Elementary, my dear Barney.

I got her a man of her own to boss.

Oh, I get it. Melville J. Mushrocks, huh?

- Old moneybag. - He-he-he. Right.

He sends her flowers and candy.

And he's taking her out every night for the past two weeks.

Boy, I can hear those wedding bells

ringing loud and clear.

[creaking]

[intense music]

[creaking]

Oh, it's only you, Fred.

Yeah, yeah. It's only me.

What are you doing up so late?

It's after midnight. Mama isn't home yet.

Well, maybe her pumpkin turned into a coach.

- What are you talking about? - 'Oh, nothin', nothin'.'

'Anything to eat? I'm hungry.'

Fred Flintstone, you make me furious.

'Do you realize mother is hinting about'

'getting married again to a perfect stranger?'

'And all you can think about is your stomach.'

Look, Wilma.

Melville J. Mushrocks is a millionaire.

That's a good catch for any woman.

Hmm, maybe too good.

There's something funny about that man.

Why? Melville seems to be a great guy.

Seems to be, that's just it.

We really don't know anything about him, Fred.

I wish we could check up on him before mama loses her head.

Oh, you're being ridiculous.

Your mother is fully mature. She knows what she's doing.

(Pearl) 'Nighty-night, tweety poo. See ya tomorrow.'

[humming]

? Cha a-cha a-cha-cha-cha ?

- Mama, are you alright? - Alright?

After a night like tonight?

preet

[laughing]

'I'm simply scrumptious.'

? A-cha a-cha a-cha-cha-cha ?

'Goodnight, children.'

? A-cha a-cha a-cha-cha-cha ??

[laughing]

And you don't think I have anything to worry about.

[laughs] Well, it's a change anyway.

Say, sonny, I almost forgot. Drive me to the bank tomorrow.

Why, mama?

(Pearl) 'I'm withdrawing all my money'

'to give to Melville.'

What?

To invest in an oil stock for me.

(Wilma) 'Eh, isn't that sort of a gamble?'

Oh, no. Melville owns the oil wells.

And he knows about one that's coming in. Ha-ha.

I just love that town of Gold Nugget.

Mature woman, huh?

I know it looks a little suspicious.

- A little suspicious? - Oh, he's okay.

If that man isn't what he says he is

I'll, I'll-I'll put on a monkey suit

and sell peanuts downtown.

Alright, but if my mother loses all her money

you're gonna have to sell an awful lot of peanuts

to support the three of us.

- Hi, Wilma. Ready to go? - 'Oh, I guess so.'

But I'm sure not in the mood to have my hair done today.

'Why?'

I checked with the phone company.

There's no Melville J. Mushrocks

listed in Gold Nugget, Texas.

Well, of course not.

Millionaires always have unlisted numbers.

- They do? - Oh, sure.

Otherwise all sorts of people would be bothering them.

Mm-hmm. Like, uh, collection agencies and the police?

[giggles]

Oh, stop worrying about nothing.

We got a date with our fellas tonight.

- And we better get a move on. - 'Well, okay, Betty. Let's go.'

Now, girls, if you will step this way, please.

Oh, I hate getting under those dryers.

Me too.

I always have trouble hearing the latest gossip

when I'm under one.

Well, when it comes to gossip, I wouldn't go so far

'as to say that.'

Won't you please be seated, girls?

Thank you.

Alright, boys. Lower away.

'Easy does it.'

'Good!'

'Au revoir, girls.'

Is your mother coming with us tonight, Wilma?

No. I asked her. But Melville wants to be alone.

I think he's gonna propose.

Well, as I was telling you, Daisy

he's a notorious con man.

His routine is to take poor widows

for every cent they've got.

First, he marries them and then he skips away

'with all their money.'

- Did you hear that, Betty? - Can you imagine such a thing?

I understand the police think he's here in Bedrock.

Probably working on his latest victim right this minute.

They say he's very convincing.

'Poses as a Texas millionaire.'

Mama!

- Oh, my poor mother. - Wilma, wait for me.

(Wilma) 'Fred! Fred!'

- Here come the girls, Fred. - Oh, boy.

- Wilma's bought a new hat. - Oh, he's a con man.

And he cheated three widows out of their lifesavings.

'He marries them and then deserts them.'

So he's a bigamist...a-as well as a thief

and the police are after him.

And, oh, Fred, do something!

Hold it! Slow down and take off that silly hat.

It is true. I heard every word.

He got away from the police

and he poses as a Texas millionaire.

(both) Melville. J. Mushrocks is a crook!

Mushrocks' a crook? Are you sure?

Absolutely. He's wanted by the police.

We heard him described to a tee.

Wilma, do you know where they went?

Oh, oh, th-they were going to the amusement park

and then to dinner.

[sobbing]

My poor mama!

Now, don't you worry, sweetheart.

You just leave it to me.

- Barney. - Yeah, Fred.

- Come on. Let's go. - Right, Fred.

You ever play football, Barney?

Sure, Fred. Why?

'Cause you're gonna run interference

while I intercept the proposal.

(male 2) 'Hey, hey. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen.'

The biggest little show on Earth

featuring Rocko the Great.

Now you see him, now you don't.

"Rocko, The Man Of A Thousand Disguises!"

- Come on, Barney. Let's go in. - Oh, Fred.

We came to find Melville

and your mother-in-law, remember?

Of course I remember, stupid.

But we don't want Wilma's mother to know it's us, do we?

- 'Oh, no, siree, Fred.' - So we need disguises.

Rocko, the man of a thousand disguises is a friend of mine.

- You get it? - I get it. I'm with you, Fred.

[laughter]

These are pretty good disguises, huh, Fred?

He-he-he. Yeah.

It was sure nice of Rocko to rent them to us.

Now keep your eye open for that phony Texas millionaire.

Hey, Fred.

There they are getting on the rocky roller coaster.

Hey! Wait for us!

Here we go, sweetie!

Oh, Melville, I feel just like a teenager.

You are, honey baby! You are!

- We just made it, mommy. - Yes, junior.

Hold on, sugar. Here's a giant dip.

Yahoo! Yep, yep, yep. Yahoo!

Whee!

This is exciting!

Not half as excitin' as you, little flower.

(Pearl) 'Ooh! What did you say?'

(Melville) 'There's somethin' I've been meanin' to ask you.'

- Yes, Melville? - I say..

Will you do me the honor of..

[mumbling]

Look at that, honey.

We're headin' for the tunnel of love.

Oh, Melville. You're so romantic.

[chuckles]

Sugar, it's time I declared myself.

(Pearl) 'Yes, Melville.'

(Melville) 'I have somethin' important to ask you.'

(Pearl) 'Yes, Melville.'

(Melville) 'I wondered, would you consider, hm..'

mwah mwah mwah

'Great Dane'

'if you ain't an affectionate little puppy. Ha-ha-ha.'

mwah mwah mwah

'Oh, honey!'

You're ruffling up my mustachios. Ha-ha-ha.

Mommy, mommy. Dark place. Dark place.

Why, you ain't my sugar!

And you ain't my mommy.

[sobbing] I want my mommy!

[piano music]

Sugar, I made up my mind to take me a wife, so--

- Light? - What for? I'm not smokin'.

Oh, yes, uh, no, sir. Uh, care for a mint?

No, I don't want a mint. I want my dinner.

What happened to the soup we ordered?

Comin' right up, sir.

Honey, I've been trying to say something to you all day.

I know, Melville. Now that we're alone, go ahead.

Little flower...you would make me the happiest man in Texas

and mighty proud if you would consent to be my..

[groans]

W-whoops! I goofed.

[chuckles]

You clumsy waiter!

You spilled that blasted goldarn soup all over me!

If you have a complaint about the soup, sir

I'll have to call the chef.

Uh, chef!

What is the trouble?

This, uh, this person don't like your soup.

What? He don't like my zoup?

He dares to inzult my zoup.

Now, just a goldarn minute, my good man. I didn't say--

This is a terrible inzult. We shtep outzide!

Excuse me, sugar.

We'll go outside and settle this like gentlemen.

Be careful, honey.

Don't worry, my little flower. I'll be right back.

Barney, you got the rope?

- It's in the car, Fred. - Huh?

Okay, you tinhorn four flusher.

This is it, the end of the line.

Put me down, you varmints.

You all gone plum loco!

Cheat poor widows out of their lifesavings, will you?

- Who, me? - Not this time, buddy.

You can love 'em and leave 'em back where you come from, Tex.

You fellows are making a terrible mista-a-ake!

thud

[imitates train chugging]

And he just left me at the table waiting and waiting.

[sobbing]

Oh, there, there, there now, mother.

He isn't worth thinking about.

Stand up straight, sonny. You're slouchin'.

[continues sobbing]

Oh, dear. What have we done?

Oh, Fred, would you come here a minute?

Excuse me a minute, mother.

I hope you're not planning on playing golf this afternoon.

There are lot of things to be done right around this house.

Oh, boy.

Fred, we've done something awful.

Read this.

"Love 'em and leave 'em Texan caught.

"Con man and bigamist, Harvey T. Pebble

was captured by Bedrock police late yesterday."

(Wilma) 'Look at his picture. That's not Melville.'

You know, you're right. That's not Melville.

Mama had a chance to be happy and we took it away.

We'll have to spend the rest of our lives

making it up to her.

'Fred, where are you going?'

Back to the garage. Where else?

But, mama, I really don't think you should leave.

Sorry, daughter. I made up my mind.

But, mama..

(Pearl) 'That's the way it's got to be, daughter.'

- 'Fred!' - Yes, Wilma.

- Fred, mama's leaving. - She is?

I can't talk her out of it.

(Fred) 'Don't try. I-I-I mean, that's too bad.'

Yes, sir. Once I got that check, I knew what I wanted to do.

(Fred) 'What check?'

Remember that oil stock that mama invested in?

- Yeah. - 'Well, the well came in.'

'A gusher. She got the check today.'

Yeah?

And thanks to Melville, I'm a very rich woman.

So I'm going on a trip and I'm going to find that man.

Uh, j-j-just to thank him, of course.

Say, that's really good news.

Uh, let me help you with your bags, mother.

'I'll take you right to the station right now.'

Of course, I hate to see you go

but there's no point in wasting time.

[groaning]

(Wilma) 'Fred, what's wrong?'

Pulled a ligament in my back. It's nothin'.

Don't tell me it's nothing.

You may have a bad sprain there.

Wilma, take my bags back into the house.

Uh, b-b-but you were leaving!

You were making a trip. Gold Nugget, Texas.

I-i-it's waiting for you.

I can make that trip anytime. Six months, a year from now.

There's no hurry.

'In the meanwhile, I'm certainly not going to leave my daughter'

'with a helpless invalid.'

Alright, into the house you go!

'And we'll pop you into bed.'

Lucky for you I came when I did.

Now, keep quiet and I'll take care of everything.

Oh, boy!

[theme music]

[yawns]

thud

slam

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma. Open this door!

Wilma!