Original subtitles

Oh, that Fred.

Two o'clock this morning, he tip-toes into the house

steps on the cat's tail, drops his bowling ball

and wakes up the whole family.

It took me an hour to get Pebbles back to sleep.

Barney tried to sneak in too and was I mad!

I really told him off.

What kind of a bowling match lasts until 2:00 in the morning?

You wait and see.

Barney will bring me home

a bouquet of flowers tonight

and try to sweet talk me into forgiving him.

There. The dishes are all stacked.

These automatic dishwashers are wonderful.

You just push the button..

(Wilma) '...and your work is done.'

Not for me, it ain't, man.

Did you ever see such a stack of dirty dishes?

Mailman! Special delivery for Wilma Flintstone.

For me? From who?

I don't know, ma'am.

Never read' em. Just deliver 'em.

Anything wrong, Wilma?

(Wilma) 'No, it's a letter from my mother.'

[gasps] Listen to this.

"Dear children, just a line to let you know

"I've decided to sell my house

"and move in with my favorite son-in-law and his wife.

See you next Friday. Love, mother."

Oh, Betty, isn't it marvelous?

Mother is coming to live with us!

How nice! But what about Fred?

You know he doesn't get along with your mother.

- He's gonna be a bear. - True.

But this bear has a sweet tooth.

And before he starts growling

I'm gonna drown him in honey.

[theme song]

[honking]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

? Flintstones meet the Flintstones ?

? They're the modern stone age family ?

? From the town of Bedrock ?

? They're a page right out of history ?

? Let's ride with the family down the street ?

? Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ?

? When you're with the Flintstones ?

? Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ?

? A dabba-doo time ?

? We'll have a gay old time ??

Flowers What're you?

So, you come home a little late. So what?

Well, it's either flowers or no dinner, Fred.

- You don't know Betty. - She's no different than Wilma.

You gotta show 'em who's boss, Barney.

Now, when I left this morning

I told Wilma what I wanted for dinner

and when I wanted it.

And when I get home I'm gonna get it.

[laughing] O, that's what I think too.

Uh, you better take some flowers with ya.

Are you kidding?

[screeching]

Come on inside a minute, Barney.

I'm gonna show you how to handle women.

Now, the first lesson you gotta learn

is to use an iron fist in a velvet glove.

'Now, watch me.'

Wilma, get dinner on the table. I'm home!

Oh, boy, are you askin' for it.

Sweetheart, you're home!

Oh, I'm so glad to see you.

Did my babykins have a rough day today? Mmm?

You wash up, dear, I'll get your slippers and light the candles.

We're having your favorite dish tonight. Roast brontosaurus.

Shee, it works!

The old iron fist in a velvet glove really works.

Oh-ho, I'm surprised.

To tell the truth, I'm a little surprised myself.

(man on TV) 'And Rocky comes back with a left to the jaw'

'that staggers Stoney and..'

'There goes the bell ending round two.'

Ho-ho, some fight, huh, Pebbles?

Fight. Fight.

[babbling]

Fight. Fight.

Oh, you've got some left hook there, honey.

Maybe I ought to put you in the ring.

Okay, okay, Dino. You can be her trainer, okay.

Oh, Fred, darling?

I have one more slab of marble cake left.

'Would you like to finish it off?'

No, thanks, honey. I'm too full.

Quiet, everybody! Round three's coming up.

(man on TV) 'Rocky swings to Stoney's head'

'and connects! Stoney feints with his left.'

'And staggers Rocky with a hard right.'

'Rocky brings one up from the floor'

'and Stoney covers up.'

'Another right, left, right'

'and Stoney goes down!'

Come on, Stoney, get up! Get up!

- 'Stoney's on his feet again..' - Fred.

Uh, could I ask you one little teensy favor?

Sure, sure, sweetheart. Anything at all.

Come on, Stoney! Give him the old one-two!

I got a letter from mother today and she sold her house.

That's nice. That's it, Stoney. Let him have it!

She said she wants to move in with her favorite son-in-law.

Is it okay if she comes to live with us, Fred?

Sure, Wilma, sure. Anything you say.

Attaboy, Stoney! Keep jabbing with that left!

Oh, thanks, dear. Mother will move in next Friday.

That's fine, fine. Ain't this a great fight, honey?

Come on, Stoney, come on..

Her mother? Movin' in next Friday?

Hey, Wilma, just a minute.

Sorry, dear, but you said it was okay.

How about that, I've been KO'd by my own velvet fist

in the iron glove.

[laughs]

Oh, shut up.

So the old iron fist caught you right in the kisser, huh, Fred?

Yeah, and I went down for the count.

I never thought Wilma would sneak my mother-in-law

in the house while I wasn't looking.

Well, cheer up, Fred. It could be worse.

- Yeah? How? - Well, uh, suppose that, uh..

Well, imagine if, uh.. That is if.. What if, uh..

Boy, that Wilma sure is sneaky.

[screeching]

Hey, what's goin' on?

(Barney) 'Tearin' up the road, I guess.'

'Uh, the detour sign says to turn left.'

Alright, so we turn left. Let's go.

[rattling]

Uh-oh. There's another sign.

'This one says, "Climb hill."'

Boy, they must think we're goats.

- Where are we, Barney? - Gee, I don't know.

But the sign says, "Go down the hill".

[rattling]

"Proceed ten feet."

"Turn right."

- You have arrived. - Arrived? Arrived where?

Stoney Acres. Welcome to paradise, gentlemen.

The finest homes west of Bedrock

for the discriminating buyer.

- A real estate agent! - Hey, what is this?

We don't wanna buy a house. We wanna play golf.

And why not? Plenty of space and fresh air up here.

And are you lucky? Twenty thousand buys this beauty.

'You can move right in and tee off from the front lawn.'

Are you kiddin'? This dump isn't worth 20,000.

Right you are, sir. That's why I'm letting you have it for ten.

Boy, what a nerve. Asking 10,000 for that crummy old shack.

- 'Five?' - It ain't worth five either.

Oh, you gentlemen are sharp. I can see that.

But I like ya.

That's why I'm gonna let ya

steal it from me for a cool 1000.

And I'll throw in the water rights.

Hey, look, buddy. You got us up here on a low down trick.

Now, beat it before I get mad.

Eh, come on, Fred. We wasted enough time. Let's go.

I'll, uh, give you a hundred bucks for it.

Sold! Congratulations, chump. I mean, sir.

Just put your name on this bill of sale.

- Hey, Fred, what are ya doin'? - Buyin' a house, Barney.

Where do I sign?

Right there on the dotted line.

Oh, you'll love living in Stoney Acres.

Lot's of privacy. No neighbors crowding you in.

In fact, no neighbors.

- There you are. - Thank you, sir.

And good luck with your new home.

You're gonna need it.

Well, what do you think of it, Barney?

I think it isn't even fit for Dino to live in.

Eh, it wasn't meant for Dino to live in.

I had another member of the family in mind.

[chuckles] Surely, you don't mean your mother-in-law?

Why not? This ain't such a bad place.

A little fresh paint..

[crashes]

...and a little fixing here and there

and this place will look great.

Gee, uh, I don't know, Fred.

'It'll be a challenge, Barn. We can do it.'

- We? - Sure.

I wouldn't deprive my best friend of a little fun.

Honest, Fred, sometimes I wish you had a different best friend.

Morning, Wilma. I brought Bam Bam over to play with Pebbles.

Sit down, Betty.

There's something I wanna talk to you about.

There you are, Pebbles.

I'm sure you two have lots to talk about also.

[babbling]

Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam!

[Pebbles laughing]

I just don't understand it, Betty.

Fred hasn't complained at all about mother living with us.

- Not even once? - 'No.'

'And furthermore where do Fred and Barney'

'disappear to all day?'

Well, Barney says they're playing golf.

That's what Fred says, but when I called the club

he's never there.

Wilma, you don't suppose..

Uh-huh. I'm afraid it's one of three reasons.

[together] Blonde, brunette, or redhead.

Oh, Wilma, what'll we do?

First, we make sure that I'm right, and if I am..

It's a lump on the head for Barney.

And two lumps for Fred.

[splashing]

Boy, I don't think this lawn has been mowed for years.

'Nice work, Barney. You're doing a swell job!'

I'm doing the swell job, mister.

And I got the sticky tail feathers to prove it.

I gotta admit, it looks pretty good.

Hey, watch out, Barn! There's a loose stone!

Where?

- Barney, are you alright? - Yeah, I'm alright, Fred.

But maybe we oughta start on the inside and work out.

What a mess. I hardly know where to begin.

Hey, uh, let's begin by forgettin'

the whole thing and going home, huh?

Oh, cut it out, Barney.

This place needs a little cleanin' up.

Look, there's furniture and everything.

Yeah. I wonder what all the rocks are for.

'Uh, maybe it's to keep all the furniture in place.'

This floor has got an awful tilt to it.

All we gotta do is roll 'em outside like this.

Help!

Okay, so the floor isn't level. We can fix that later.

Fred, are you sure your mother-in-law

is gonna go for this idea?

Why not? She'll be close to Wilma.

But she'll have her own little castle.

Oh, boy, calling this dump a castle

is like calling your mother-in-law Miss America.

[laughing]

Ah, don't worry, by the time we're through

cleaning up this place, she won't recognize it.

If there's one thing I know about, it's houses.

And this one is as solid as a rock.

[rumbling]

Oh, well, I'll borrow the bulldozer at work

and clean it up in the morning.

Okay, Fred. Send up another rock.

One rock, coming up!

Put it right there, Fred.

Boy, I'm enjoying this.

I'm glad the boss let me take a few days off.

Yeah, my boss gave me a week's leave of absence.

But, uh, I gotta return the favor.

How, Fred?

'Well, if his mother-in-law'

comes to town she moves in here

with my mother-in-law.

Hey, you know somethin', Fred?

For two guys who don't know what they're doin'

uh, we're doin' it pretty good.

Yeah, he-he-he-he.

When you realize we're just a couple of amateurs..

Eh, who needs professionals?

- Uh-oh, the ladder is slipping. - 'Careful, Barney!'

[crashes]

- Barney, are you alright? - Uh, I'm okay.

Lucky I fell in this trough of quick dry mortar.

Quick dry mortar? Oh, no!

Boy, of all the stupid things to do you can do the stupidest.

Honest, Barney, if you wasn't my best friend

I wouldn't let you help me. Now, hold still.

wham

[cracking]

As I was sayin', Fred. We need professionals. Call the union!

I see. Well, thank you very much, Mr. Slate.

Oh, he hasn't, huh? Well, thank you very much.

You're right, Wilma. Something is going on.

Barney has taken time off!

So has Fred, and he never mentioned a word about it.

What's our next move, Wilma?

I don't know yet. Let me think.

What's keepin' those guys?

Uh, did you call the union again?

Yeah, they said they were sending up their best

plumber and carpenter, two hours ago.

[screeching]

Hey, that must be the plumber.

[screeching]

And that must be the carpenter.

- Hi, Marvin. - Uh, hi, Alex.

Uh, how's every little thing?

(Alex) 'At $20 an hour, how should it be?'

My stocks are down, but my golf game is up.

That's the plumber and the carpenter?

Twenty bucks an hour?

- How's the new house, Marv? - Fine.

But I'm having trouble with the servant's pool.

(Alex) 'Why don't you call a plumber?'

Are you kidding? I'm much too expensive.

[laughing]

Hey, hey, that's a hot one. I'm much too expensive.

[laughing] Hey, that's very funny, huh, Fred?

Yeah, yeah, that's very funny. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Hmm, walls need internal bracing

and, uh, roof needs new beams.

A little glue here and there

and it might stand up if we're lucky.

Look, pal, how much is all this gonna cost me?

Oh, you'll have to take that up with my agent, Mr. Flintstone.

Now, let's get started. Will you please hand me that beam?

Yeah, sure.

Uh, that's the one, Mr. Flintstone.

Now, place it right here against the wall.

Holy mackerel, this is heavy!

- How about giving me a hand? - Oh, I can't, Mr. Flintstone.

It's my coffee break. Union rules, you know?

[squeaking]

That's fine, Rubble. Uh, just dump those rocks any place.

And get the pipes in the house.

[hammering]

Watch it, Flintstone.

You're joisting those beams too close.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[indistinct grumbling]

Alright, men. All together now.

'Lift! We've got to get that floor level, you know?'

[grunting]

A little higher, men, a little higher.

[honking]

Three o'clock already?

My, how time flies when you're busy.

Isn't it the truth?

Hey, where are you guys goin'?

Quitting time. Union rules, you know?

- Adios, Marvin. - Arrivederci, Alex.

See you at the club.

[laughing]

What are you laughing at?

Oh, I keep thinking about that

funny joke the plumber made.

I'm too expensive, he says.

[laughs]

Ah, shut up!

Sorry, Fred.

- They're home, Wilma. - Good.

Now, remember, when they ask for dinner

we'll tell them to get it themselves.

Yeah, and we'll pretend we're going out.

But we won't tell them where or with whom.

We'll fight fire with fire.

We'll drive them crazy with jealousy.

We'll play it real cool.

Gee, Fred, uh, do we have to put up the wallpaper tonight?

- I'm pooped. - We gotta finish it, Barney.

Wilma's mother arrives tomorrow.

Now, we'll get some flour out of the kitchen

and make some paste with it and get right back to work.

Here they come.

[instrumental music]

They didn't even notice us.

Just headed straight for the kitchen.

(Fred) 'Here's the flour, Barney. Get a couple of bags.'

(Barney) 'Do we really have to go out again, Fred?'

(Fred) 'Of course, we have to go out.'

'This is Thursday night, remember?'

They're going out again tonight.

(Barney) 'Well, suppose she don't like it.'

Well, she better like it.

This thing is costing me a fortune.

[gasps] The hussy!

Fred's spending a fortune on her!

Some nerve!

- Oh, hi, Wilma. - Hi, Betty.

Oh, Fred, Betty and I are going out tonight.

- 'That's nice, dear.' - We're a late now.

So you and Barney will just have to fix your own dinner.

They're gone!

Well, we sure drove them crazy, didn't we?

Yes, sir. Nothing like playing it real cool.

- Now what, mastermind? - We follow them.

Come on, Barney! Step on it!

- We got a lot of work to do. - Yeah, okay, okay.

- Where are they going? - Beats me.

What kind of nightclub could be up in this wilderness?

- What's that? - I have news for you, Betty.

That is no nightclub. That is a hideout.

Ooh, wait till I get my hands on that Barney.

Uh, you know how to put this stuff up, Fred?

(Fred) 'Oh, sure. Nothing to it.'

First, you put the paste on the wall

making sure it's good and wet.

- Is that all? - 'No, dummy head.'

You gotta put the paper up. Like this.

- You get it? - Oh, sure.

First, I put the paste on the wall..

That's it, Barney. You're doing fine.

...then I put the paper up. Like this.

How's that?

Gee, Fred, get me down.

[Fred laughing]

Ooh, Barney, you look ridiculous.

[Barney laughing]

You don't look so dignified yourself, Fred.

Why, there's not a girl in sight.

And, look, Wilma! Over the fireplace.

Isn't that a picture of your mother?

(Wilma) 'It certainly is.'

'What's going on here?'

- And where's Barney? - Uh, right here, Betty.

And if you wanna know where Fred is

he's hung up too.

Hi, Wilma. Do me a favor, honey.

Get me down, will ya?

There. Now, the little nest is finished.

Boy, you girls amaze me.

I gotta hand it to you two. This place looks great.

I'm proud of you, Fred.

I think it was wonderful of you to buy this house for mother.

You do? I thought maybe you'd be sore at me.

I still don't understand why you got this place so cheap.

(Fred) Well, Betty. I happen to know how to bargain.

And when that salesman told me

I could have all the water rights to the place

I knew that I was getting more than I bargained for.

You're right, Fred.

You got about a hundred gallons of water

you didn't bargain for.

Wh-wh-wha-wha-wha..

- Water rights, eh? - No wonder you got it so cheap.

This house is built right over an artesian well.

Yeah, well, I knew all about that

but I out-foxed him anyway because I plan to, uh..

Plan to what, Fred?

Buy mother a deep sea diving suit?

No. To, uh, move the house. That's what.

Yes, sir, according to my calculations

this house will fit right into my backyard.

Hey, uh, speaking of calculations

uh, shouldn't we be pulling the house instead of pushing it?

Of course not. I know about physics.

It's a matter of levitation versus gravity.

[chuckles]

Sounds legal-eagle like.

[rumbling]

Hey, we're going downhill, Fred.

- Slow it up! - Whoa, Tessy! Whoa!

[screeches]

Well, it looks like levitation versus gravity

just lost their first case.

And according to my calculations

'we're gonna hit that clump of trees!'

[crashes]

[dramatic music]

Look! Here comes mother.

Yoo hoo! Mother!

Well, I made it. Right on time too.

[rumbling]

Got any ideas, Barney?

Yeah, I got a good one

but I don't think Wilma wants to be a widow.

This thing's gonna go over the edge in a minute!

Hey-ey-ey, we better jump!

- Ready? - Get set.

Jump!

[crashes]

Really, mother, you should wait to see Fred.

Haven't got time, honey. Gotta hit the road.

- Here they are. - 'Fred, what happened?'

It's a long story, Wilma.

Oh, hiya, ma.

Hello, sonny. Stand up straight!

Say, Wilma, doesn't that boy ever bathe?

I have some bad news to tell you, Fred.

And I have some bad news to tell you.

When mother said she was going to stay

with her favorite son-in-law and his wife

'she didn't mean us.'

She didn't?

She meant my sister and her husband who live in Gravelton.

Don't see how you could've thought otherwise.

Just stopped by to say hello.

You mean, you're not going to live with us?

(mother-in-law) 'No offense meant, sonny'

'but I wouldn't move here with you unless..'

'...unless I had my own house.'

Well, so long, honey.

I'll drop you a line from Gravelton.

Arrivederkai.

- Goodbye, mother. - Bye.

Can you imagine? I misunderstood her letter.

(Betty) 'I think it's the funniest thing I ever heard.'

[chuckling]

Uh, come to think of it, Fred, uh

it is kinda funny at that.

All the work we did.

[both laughing]

Yeah. We did work hard, didn't we?

[laughing] Yeah.

And then the house got busted.

Yeah, into a million pieces.

And all that money you spent.

Yeah. A thousand bucks down the drain.

[laughing]

- Eh. - What's the matter, Fred?

A thousand bucks down the drain. What am I laughing at?

[sobbing]

Now, now, there, there, Fred. Fred, there, there.

Hey, pull yourself together.

Hey, come on over to my place.

Oh, boy, if there's one thing I can't stand

is to see a grown man cry.

A thousand bucks down the drain!

[bawling]

[theme music]

? Flintstones meet the Flintstones ?

? They're the modern stone age family ?

? From the town of Bedrock ?

? They're a page right out of history ?

? Someday maybe Fred will win the fight ?

? Then that cat will stay out for the night ?

? When you're with the Flintstones ?

? Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ?

? A dabba-doo time ?

? We'll have a gay old time ?

? We'll have a gay old time ?

Wilma!

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