All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.All.Stars.S05E01.WEBRip.480p-WOWRip.en

RuPaul: In 2016,

RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

changed the rules forever.

I will not be eliminating
any queens this season.

Bitch, what?

Each week,
the top two All Stars

will lip sync for their legacy.

The winner of the lip sync
will be given the power

to eliminate
one of the bottom queens.

RuPaul: With great power
comes great responsibility.

It's a new decade,
a new season,

with new rules.

We're going to do eliminations

a little differently
this season.

You never know what or who
fate may throw your way.

Ru-veal yourself!

The Ru-volution starts now!

I'm bla-ack.

I'm Shea Couleé.

I know y'all have missed me,
but it's all okay.

Wow, Ru.

Love what
you've done with the place.

She's a great dancer.

She's a great entertainer.
She's a great actress.

Oh! 23 skiddoo.

I won four challenges
on Season 9.

Vote, bitch.

I felt really confident
that I had it in the bag.

This was my spot on Season 9.

Feels kind of lucky.

I was really confident.

But as those rose petals fell

at the Season 9 finale,

it was like watching my dreams

just fall right out of my hands.

I felt like
such a disappointment.

RuPaul: I'm sorry, my dear.
This is not your time.

Mine. This time, I came to win.

Season 9 was a taste.

That was the amuse-bouches.

We're about
to get into the entree.

We might even get
a little dessert.

You're about to get served.

Infraction!

[laughs]

Guess who's
cracking the house, girl?

My name is Miz Cracker.

I am 35...

pounds heavier
than I was in Season 10.

Miz Cracker, you're nasty.

And I'm disgusting.
[all laugh]

Is there a hole
in the bottom of that box?

Absolutely.

The first time around
I did well,

but I was so worried about
being absolutely perfect...

Cracker, you did it
perfect once.

You can do it
that way again.

I fucked myself.

You'll never be good enough.

She's too interested

in trying to control
how we see her.

It's, like, let it
all hang out, bitch.

Look at this woman!

So this time I'm just
gonna let things flow

from my distorted brain.

We've been trying
to get together and do a thing.

Yes. Yeah, we're doing
the biggest of things.

Shea Couleé is talented,
beautiful, funny,

and the worst thing is
she is a great person.

I hate her.

I thought they were gonna save
the best for last,

and I was the opposite of right.

[laughs]

Boricua in the house
to take the crown.

Sickening, no?

I'm Alexis Mateo
from Season 3

and All Stars 1.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

-Bam!
-Bam!

Bam.

I'm a fucking drag queen.

Michelle: Every time I
counted you out, you shut me up.

I am a well-rounded entertainer.

I can sing, I can dance,
I can act,

and I'm fucking Puerto Rican,
bitch.

Just like the movie Gremlins,

I got wet one day
and had a drag baby

named Vanessa Vanjie Mateo.

You know, when you have somebody
that is that gorgeous

and that messy,
you know it's my daughter.

Appreciate you.
Cut the check later, bitch.

You're welcome.

Coming into this competition,

I'm older and wiser
and stronger than ever.

It's Alexis world, and the rest
is fucking parking.

Feathers, feathers, feathers.

-Put them in a zoo.
-Exactly.

-I am molting today, girl.
-It's pretty.

[laughs]

Well, I do declare.

Blair St. Clair
is all grownup now...

bitches.

[all laugh]

I'm Blair St. Clair
from Season 10,

and I've finally
gone through puberty.

Well, almost.

You look really young.

-Bitch!
-Bitch!

Season 10 was terrifying.

It's actually been really hard
being here without my mom.

I think I was really
hiding who I was

because I wanted everyone
to like me.

Blair, hold on, Blair.
You okay?

I'm good. I'm happy.
I'm good.

Today I see myself
as a strong bitch.

She's always looking wet.

That's what your man said
last night.

[all laugh]

Strong, independent bitch.

And people needs to remember
that and watch out for that,

'cause I wanna win.

My drag's changed a lot,

and I think some people
are gonna be a little shocked.

But that's what I'm here to do.
I'm here to shock 'em.

-Yes.
-Uh-huh.

Blair St. Clair came out

with some good air
under her booty, baby.

Why you so cocky, girl?

She will crack
under pressure, though.

In a room full of 10s,

I'm always grand prize.

She's here to save the day.

I'm Mariah Balenciaga,
AKA Mariah Paris,

AKA Mariah Successful,

AKA Miss Queen
of All Stars Season 5.

Prepare to gag on my eleganza.

Aah!

We are the ones
who are innovators

and the driving force
behind progress in humanity.

She has a beautiful face.

Season 3, I got
"You're poised,

you're beautiful,
you're elegant."

But my downfall
was my Snatch Game.

That is not a wire hanger.

It's a wooden hanger.

It's too much.

Give me my pocketbook.
I'm leaving.

And it's taken me
almost 10 years

to refine my stage presence
and get back here.

And they're not
gonna goop me on this one.

Not this pageant.

Good to see you.
You look stunning.

I want to eat you
like a palm tree.

[all laugh]

Oh.

-I'm curious.
-More and more sparkles.

-Oh!
-Oh.

India 2.0 here.

Remodeled, remastered,
and ready for action.

Surprise, bitches.

♪ It's me ♪

India Ferrah
from Season 3.

Aow!

There is
a "hell, no" storm, okay?

On Season 3, I couldn't
break through my shyness.

Prison, honey.

I'm still waiting for your
personality to come through.

Sadly, one of the only things
I'm known for

is being picked up
by Mimi on first.

Get her off of me!

Drag is not a contact sport.

But there's so much more to me,

and I'm ready to show it.

Season 3 in the house.

Season 3, bitch.

Oh, look at this.

-We're a set.
-[laughs]

Same colors.

Ooh, is this a rerun
of Season 3?

Cue western music. [laughs]

[imitates gunshots]

She's nuts.

-Girl, I'm gonna need that.
-I'll trade you, bitch.

Of course,
I'll have to have it taken in.

I'll be absolutely
swimming in it.

[all laugh]

I'm Jujubee from Season 2
of RuPaul's Drag Race

and Season 1 of All Stars.

Third time's the charm.

-Ooh.
-Ooh.

Come on, Grandma Barbie.

[all laugh]

I have never been blown
like that in my life.

Miss Jujubee,
you give good mouth.

Fuck you.

Tyra, was your barbecue
canceled?

Your grill is fucked.

[all laugh]

I made it to top three twice.

It is time to take the crown.

Why not Jujubee?

Give me the crown, RuPaul.

Can I have the crown?

Please.

Okay, I am so dressed
for all of your funerals,

'cause I'm gonna kill you all.

[all laugh]

Get ready, baby.

You've aged so well.

Oh, like cheese.

Miss Jujubee
has stepped her pussy up.

This is like
I am the pussy staircase.

[laughs]

You know what's kind of funny.

It's like if we ink
in a printer,

like, it runs out
by the time it gets...

[all laugh]

Whoo!

Oh.

Whoo!

Ooh, I did it again.

Whoo!

I'm Derrick Barry
and I'm from Season 8.

It's Derrick, Bitch.
You know me.

-Hey, Derrick.
-[laughs]

When I first came to Drag Race,

I was focused on being the best
Britney Spears impersonator

in the world.

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yeah.

I got so used to doing one thing

that I really struggled
to show people

what else I can do.

I put myself in a Britney box,

and I'm doing my best
to get out of that.

Since my season,
I've taken my drag

to a whole new realm.

And now I'm coming back

to show
I don't just do Britney.

There's also
this other part of me

that does all these other
amazing things.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Hi, gorg.
-How are you?

What's going on?

-Hi.
-Hey, girl.

There's only one queen
I don't get along with,

and it's India Ferrah.

She has got me, girl.

India has these online rants
that are negative.

She's toxic.

Maybe she's all good
with giving fake hugs,

but I really don't have
much to say to her.

I didn't come to crash a party.

I came to end it.

[cheers and applause]

I am Mayhem "The Drama" Miller.

from RuPaul's Drag Race
Season 10.

I think you look adorable.

I'm gagging over your look.

I started off strong.

The creativity
is off the charts.

I won the first challenge,

and then it kind of
just kind of went like this.

[laughs]

When I was here for Season 10,

I did not push myself

to the level of greatness
that I know I have.

I played it safe.

Did you say something
to your team?

No, because I wanted
to be a team player.

-Hi.
-Hello.

Season 10's in the house.

This time around,
I just can't hold back.

I wanna make believers
out of the non-believers

and show exactly
why she got the call.

You smell rich.

Thank you. I farted.

[all laugh]

[rustling]

I hear something.

Dragging something?

-Oh.
-Oh.

So y'all thought
I'd never get here.

Sorry. I was stuck in traffique.

My name is Ongina.

I'm from the very first season
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

You look good.

The one that started
this whole shenanigans.

-Ongina.
-Hi-ee.

Oh. Ooh, this ain't
no truck stop, honey.

My name is Connie Chung.

Because life is a celebration.

You're the winner
of this challenge.

[sobs]

Somebody said All Stars 5?

-Yes!
-Yes!

I'm finally on All Stars, bitch.

I'm so excited. [laughs]

But I'm super nervous

because everything
literally has changed.

But I have been changing
as well,

and I'm excited to show everyone
my 10 year glow-up.

So here it is and enjoy.

You're welcome.

Ow! My eye!

Oh, my God. Sorry.

Sorry. I mean, at least
somebody fucking tried.

[all laugh]

Ongina is a Drag Race legend.

Point blank, period.

Here's the T.

I hope y'all don't think

that we're just here
to play around.

Oh, I don't think so.

No. I believe
you guys might bring it.

Uh-oh.

-Oh.
-You already started?

I mean--look.

You know
I like to shoot quickly.

You were also quick to finish
on your season, though.

Oh.

[all laugh]

Hello, hello, hello.

[cheering]

Look who's here.

Yay!

Welcome home.

[cheers and applause]

[imitating an old woman]
My girls are all grown up.

Now, to earn your place
in the Drag Race Hall of Fame,

you need to do more
than just win challenges.

You need to win over your peers

or do whatever it takes
to outsmart them.

And this season, we're doing
things a little differently.

It's a new game
with new rules.

What's the gag, girl?

I've seen the show.
I know it's coming.

Oh, yes, honey,
the shit got heavy.

-Fuck!
-[laughs]check

Shit!

[evil laugh]

Wow.

Oh, there's a gag?

RuPaul: The winner
of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

a coveted spot
in the Drag Race Hall of Fame,

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With extra special guest judge
Ricky Martin.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪act end?

For the first time
in All Stars herstory,

it's not just the top
All Stars of the week

who will have the power

to eliminate
one of the bottom queens.

Each week, each of you will vote

for the bottom queen you think
deserves the chop.

[gasps]

-What?
-Oh, my God.

Everybody gets a vote?

Everybody?

We are in the upside down now.

-Wow, Ru.
-That's right, baby.

You all have the power,

and that's why we call it
a Ru-mocracy.

Oh.

-Okay.
-I see what you did.

But more on that later.

[evil laugh]

I have so many questions.

Now for your first
All Star mini-challenge,

the library is open.

[cheers and applause]

All right.

♪ Oh, Pit Crew ♪

Is it this way?

[cheering]
Oh, my God.

What?

What, what, what?

Ladies, give
a big Drag Race welcome

to Ricky Martin.

[cheers and applause]

Ricky Martin, bitch.

Oh, my God. [laughs]

Now, Ricky, have you ever
read a queen before?

No, but I would like to try.

Good.
Well, you can try on me.

Oh.

RuPaul.

-Oh.
-Oh.

[speaking Spanish]subtitle

Hmm.

I have no idea
what he just said,

but I didn't like
the sound of it.

-You know what?
-What?

-You know what?
-What?

Oh!

Ru... [speaking Spanish]subtitle

Give me a break.

Oh, no!

[speaking Spanish]

[applause]subtitle

And that concludes
today's lesson

in bilingual shade.

[laughter and applause]

Yes!

Now, Queens,
in the grand tradition

of Paris Is Burning.

it's time
for some serious reading.

Because reading is what?

-Fundamental.
-Fundamental.

That's right.

All right, first queen up,
Alexis Mateo.

Oh, my God.

-Boricua.
-Yes.

There you go, mama.

Take these glasses
from Marek & Richard

and assume the position.

Ooh, these glasses
make you all look ugly.

Oh, it's not the glasses.

[all laugh]

Jujubee, I can't wait to see

your clearance retail store
collection you brought.

-Ooh.
-Oh.

Blair St. Clair,
Bitch, you look hungry.

Eat a burger.

Girl, whatever weight I lost,
you found.

[speaking Spanish]subtitle

Well, look at you, papi.

Hey, mama, here you go.

Oh, my dear friend
Derrick Barry.

You are a Las Vegas showgirl.

And you're also
a lost Vegas showgirl.

'Cause why the hell
are you here?

[all laugh]

Ongina.

I can't to put you
on top of my Christmas tree.

Hee hee hee.

-Mayhem Miller.
-Yes?

I think maybe you should

switch out the Miller
for Coors Light.

India Ferrah.

This shade is all real.

It's no wonder
you work in a place

called Piranha in Las Vegas

because with those teeth,

you're a walking billboard
for them.

[all laugh]

And also, I'm really surprised
to see you,

because I thought
you had retired,

and now I just see
that you're tired.

[all laugh]

Mariah Paris Balenciaga.

Great. You're here,
so we have to change the name

to RuPaul's Drag Race
Some Stars.

[all laugh]

Mayhem Filler.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

I mean, Meh-hem Miller.

[all laugh]

Oh!

Alexis Mateo.

I don't wanna be shady,

so I'm not gonna
bring up your weight.

But when you work,
do they pay you in pounds?

[all laugh]

-Bitch.
-Jujubee, the shade.

Mariah Paris Balenciaga.

You look like what would happen

if Will Smith
absorbed Jada Pinkett.

[all laugh]

Ongina.

Thank you so much

for taking time
out of your busy schedule

of auditioning for All Stars

to finally join us
on All Stars.

Wow.

India Ferrah.

I' not gonna read you 'cause
I'd never kick a man...

[all laugh]

While he's down.

Okay, Blair St. Clair.

-You know me.
-Mm-hmm.

I don't read somebody

unless I have
a genuine respect for them.

So I think we're done here.

[all laugh]

Oh, Miz Cracker,
you remind me of my childhood

picking Adam's apples.

[all laugh]

Shea Couleé.

Why so emotional, baby?

-Ooh!
-Oh!

-Mayhem Miller.
-Hi.

Every time I look at your face,

I'm always reminded
it's 5:00 somewhere.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Derrick Barry.

You give us Britney
like it's always 2008.

Now, Ru, can we
go ahead and open the door

and #FreeBritney?

[all laugh]

Shea Couleé, you always say
that you've come to slay.

How hard are you
gonna slay this season?

Is that a question
or a read?

No, it's a read.

I'm trying my best, you guys.

Alexis Mateo.

You actually have
a really good chance

of winning this competition

because they've never had
a Puerto Rican

or a big girl winner.

Right.

Yeah.

[crickets]

Okay, the crickets
aren't even laughing.

Derrick Barry. You know,
the girls in your season

said you weren't
a real drag queen

because you couldn't paint
and you could only do Britney,

but I completely disagree.

I don't really think
you can do Britney.

[all laugh]

Mariah, girl I love you,

but your career
only has movement

because the earth
has to spin on its axis.

[all laugh]

And India Ferrah.

Oh, I'm pausing so
we can all Google who you are.

[all laugh]

Ladies, la biblioteca
is closed officially.

[cheers and applause]

And not a moment too soon.

[all laugh]

Would you please
tell the ladies who won?

So we have a tie.

-What?
-We do.

We've got a tie
between Jujubee...

-Oh!
-Oh!

And Blair St. Clair.

[cheering]

Wow!

Con-drag-ulations.

You've each won
a $2.000 gift card

from Marek & Richard.

[cheers and applause]

Float like a butterfly,
sting like a Jujubee.

[laughs]

Now, ladies, since 2017,

the Werq The World tour

has starred legends
like Aquaria,

Bob the Drag Queen,

and Violet Chachki,

just to name a few.

For this week's maxi-challenge,

you'll be headlining

in the Werq The World
variety extravaganza

with an act

showcasing your own charisma,
uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

And for those of you at home,

you can go to
RuPaulsDragRace.com

to find out when the tour
is coming to your city.

All Stars, start your engines...

...and may the best woman win.

Come on, Ricky.

-Thank you.
-See you later.

-Bye-bye.
-Bye.

-Bye.
-Bye-ee.

Oh, my God.

I already claimed my space.

Oh, my God, it's heavy.

Look what I'm doing,
Miz Cracker.

I'm taking both of ours over.

-Oh, my goodness.
-See?

I'll surely save you
if you're in the bottom.

Mariah, I found your size.

These are a 15.

So how you feeling
about this new twist

where we're all voting?

Like, is this
going by friendship

or who likes who?

But what is the lip sync
situation?

That what I want to know.

Like, will we still be
lip syncing for our legacy

and then like--

There's something missing
in here,

and I know Mama Ru
has something--

She cooking something, girl.

We've been doing the math,

and suddenly
it's not adding up.

[laughs] For real.

I'm gonna play it really fairly,

unless someone is, like,
being mean to me. Just kidding.

I mean, clearly me and Derrick
do not get along.

You don't?

Mmm, juicy T.

I don't deal with fake people,

and that is--I can't.

I feel like
they're talking about us.

When I quit performing
at Piranha,

they hired Nebraska,
Derrick's boyfriend,

and she did a number
dedicated towards me

showing a lot of negative,
hateful bullshit.

What y'all talking about?

That me and Derrick do not
speak to each other at all.

Holy...

Derrick Barry.

Oh, so it's gonna be
some shit.

This is day one,

and the girls brought the beef
to this salad, baby.

Welcome to All Stars, people.

It's crazy, right?

Girl, the gag is real.end act

-This is it, bitch.
-Bitch.

Mm, mm, mm.

-Derrick.
-Yeah?

What are you doing for talent?

Like, 15 impersonations
in a minute.

-Can you do that?
-Well, I hope so.

It's my talent I hope.

I guess you're
talented enough to do it.

Just kidding.

We're getting ready
for our first maxi-challenge.

It's the Werq The World
talent show.

This is gonna be fun.

There's a lot of pressure
to show the judges

how much we've evolved.

Can you do me?

[imitating Ongina]
Can you do me?

[both laugh]

I'm scared about All Stars.

I am. I'm, like, nervous

because I haven't been
in this werkroom

for, like, 11 years,

and the competition
has gotten tougher.

Like, sometimes I sit there
and I watch it,

and I'm, like,
could I do that challenge?

Tell me about
this India Ferrah stuff.

Oh, why?

I just wanna know.

I'm such a gossip.

I literally
just found out over there,

so I'm asking you about it.

I'm not surprised that India

can't keep my name
out of her mouth

because obviously
she's obsessed.

So are you guys not friends?

I have her blocked
on everything.

She comes for girls
in every single season.

-She does?
-Mm-hmm.

Ooh, let me go ask
if she's come for me.

-Nobody comes for you.
-Nobody comes for her.

No, literally.

You guys are mean.

I wanna be Regina George.

[all laugh]

-We are the Mean Girls?
-We are.

What are y'all doing
for your talents?

Or are y'all trying to keep it
fucking top secret?

I'm doing the second version
of the reading challenge.

I thought I'd extend it
because I was so funny.

Yes.
[all laugh]

Well, Derrick was the one
that went in.

Ooh!

Do you guys both
live in Vegas right now?

Yeah.

Oh, so you work together a lot?

-I never work with her.
-Oh.

Girl, there is beef
between India and Derrick,

and everyone is eating it.

It is a brisket.

We are here for the pot luck.

Wait, so what's
the original beef?

I love this.

India got fired from Piranha.

I quit Piranha.

If you quit,
why do you need to say

"this establishment
will hire anybody now?"

And it did.

You can't just be happy
for people.

If you quit, someone else
needs to get the job.

Why would I be happy for someone
that does a number

that disrespects me
and puts my name in it?

Why would I wanna
be happy for her?

That was after
you called her a pig in a wig.

It was not to her.

Like, girl, she is a stick.

She is not a pig in a wig.
It was not to her.

You're two-faced, and I don't
fuck with two-faced people.

But you know what, India?

I think you being here

is going to make you feel
more validated,

and I think that maybe
that's what you needed.

And so I'm happy
that you're here.

[laughs] Oh, my God.

[sighs] All this shit.

Blocked.

Whatever you're saying
is bouncing right back to you,

and that's gonna hurt you
in the long run.

Remember, every superhero
has an enemy.end act

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe,
let your whole body talk ♪

♪ Cover girl ♪

And what?

[applause]

Welcome to the main stage of
RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.

[lisping] International
sensation Michelle Vishage.

[lisping] That's shme.

[all laugh]

It's not easy to say!

I'm a shen-shation!

[all laugh]

Style superstar
Carson Kressley.

Now, do you have
any hidden talents?

I did, but I had them removed
for health reasons.

Jot down the number
of your doctor for me.

[all laugh]

The hilarious Ross Mathews.

Are you here
for the meet-and-greet?

Just the meet, Ru,
just the meet.

[all laugh]

And the king of Latin pop,
Ricky Martin.

Now, serious question.

What's your favorite place
in the world?

My favorite place in the world
is Puerto Rico.

Hey, you know what,
let's go now!

[all laugh]
Let's go. Come on!

This week,
we challenged our queens

to show off their charisma,
uniqueness, nerve, and talent

in a Werq the World
variety extravaganza.

All Stars,
start your engines,

and may the best woman win.

[cheering]

Welcome to the Werq the World
extravaganza,

starring the All Stars
of Season 5.

[cheers and applause]

This is gonna be fun.

Let's hear it for Alexis Mateo.

[speaking Spanish]

[all laugh]

[speaking Spanish]

Sickening, no?

[speaking Spanish]

[cheers and applause]

[singing in Spanish]

Perra!

Perra!

Bam!

Bam!

Let's go, girls!

Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!

Ricky Martin is watching me,

so I wanted to get
really spicy up in this bitch.

[laughs]

[cheers and applause]

Give it up for Shea Couleé.

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Don't you come
too close to me ♪

♪ I'll only break your heart ♪

♪ And leave you out
to bleed ♪

♪ Let's not be
what we're supposed to be ♪

♪ If you want to risk it all ♪

♪ Then you'll
come home with me ♪

♪ And I should tell you ♪

♪ That I'm not afraid
of a little disaster ♪

♪ You should know
I won't call you after ♪

♪ So if you wanna ride,
you can ride ♪

♪ And if you wanna fly,
you can fly ♪

♪ And even though
we're about to collide ♪

♪ It's only gonna be
for one night ♪

♪ So if you wanna ride,
you can ride ♪

♪ And if you wanna fly,
you can fly ♪

♪ And even though
we're about to collide ♪

♪ It's only gonna be
for one night ♪

♪ One night ♪

[cheers and applause]

[all laugh]

Here she is, Mayhem Miller.

[music plays]

[boop]

The eyes, the eyes!

[boop]

[boop]

I am the queen!

[cheers and applause]

Queen of the party!

[all laugh]

♪ It's sickening ♪

♪ That drag can pay the rent
♪check

♪ You're beautiful ♪

♪ And don't let no one
tell you different ♪

♪ I'm the queen of the party
and it's Miller time ♪

♪ Been lining these eyes
since a quarter of 9:00 ♪

♪ Got a ticket to beat,
and things got hot... ♪

[indistinct lyrics]

♪ Excuse me, sir,
yeah, I'm talking to you ♪

♪ Your profile said
you were six-foot-two ♪

♪ Lucky for you... ♪
[indistinct lyrics]

♪ Now take it off,
the doctor just smiled ♪

[cheering]

And now,
Mariah Paris Balenciaga.

♪ The marks, the stains ♪

♪ My words
I shall not refrain ♪

♪ From veins the pain
flows of those chained ♪

♪ Stains from
the fights for rights ♪

♪ Freedom's
still not in sight ♪

♪ Stains from clashes
and flashes ♪

♪ Stains on the walls ♪

♪ Of those with
poise, power, and pride ♪

♪ Stains of those who refuse
to be silenced or hide ♪

♪ Stains on the wall of those
feared and misunderstood ♪

♪ Stains
of those who are told ♪

♪ Who to love, how to love,
and how to act ♪

♪ Religious veils
sanctify that ♪

♪ Retaliation to a terror
born of this nation ♪

♪ Stains of those
who lived through segregation ♪

♪ Though we transcend
and ascend ♪

♪ Will the fear and hate
ever end? ♪

♪ That's the greatest
question of all ♪

♪ Until then, I'll continue
to tell the story ♪

♪ Of the stains on the wall ♪

[cheers and applause]

Werk!

All right, Miss Mariah Angelou.

Make the people think.

RuPaul: Welcome, Miz Cracker.

He-he-hello.

You know, I've been through
so many things in my life

and learned so much.

But it wasn't until I opened
a new jar of joy

and learned to relish life

that I finally told the world
I actually am a cracker.

♪ Hey, lookie here,
it's the matzo mama ♪

♪ Yes, thin, white, salty,
won't you have a taste ♪

♪ You know me,
I try to bring the drama ♪

♪ Watch what I do,
watch what I can do ♪

♪ I'm trying to dish
you kids ♪

♪ I'm trying
to serve you the splits ♪

♪ You know
I can't touch the floor ♪

-Ouch!
-♪ That's my lady bits ♪

♪ Really, I don't ♪

♪ I really don't know why
they love what I do ♪

♪ I'm a white girl,
so I'm off beat ♪

♪ Gonna thrill 'em
off of my feet ♪

[cheering]

♪ Girl, she made it ♪

♪ With a beautiful
taste of color, girl ♪

♪ Dah dah dah
dah-dah dah dah-dah ♪

♪ Whatever you do ♪

♪ People love what you do
if you do it with heart ♪

♪ I'm a woman of the world ♪

Shabbat shablam!

[cheers and applause]

My heart sinks, my stomach
goes straight to my throat.

These bitches
are not playing games.

I need to give
the performance of my life.end
act

RuPaul: Welcome back to the
Werq The World extravaganza.

I do declare,
it's Blair St. Clair.

♪ Tight-roping,
always a thin line ♪

♪ Watch your step 'cause
you're getting too high ♪

♪ If you trip,
no, there's no second try ♪

♪ Try ♪

♪ Trapezing ♪

♪ I'm not catching your fall
in this circus ♪

♪ It's only your fault ♪

♪ Spotlight's on you,
so give it your all ♪

♪ You don't get nine lives ♪

♪ You gotta get it right
the first time ♪

♪ Can't look me in the eye
and tell me lies ♪

♪ No, I'm not gonna let you
make me cry ♪

♪ You don't get nine,
nine, nine lives ♪

♪ Nine, nine lives, no ♪

♪ Nine, nine lives ♪

[all laugh]

♪ Nine, nine lives ♪

[cheers and applause]

You like that?

Up next, Ongina.

♪ Start your engines ♪

♪ May the best woman win ♪

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe,
let your whole body talk ♪

♪ Walk ♪

♪ Now walk ♪

♪ Walk ♪

♪ Now walk ♪

♪ Uh-oh,
now sissy that walk ♪

[indistinct rapping]

[cheers and applause]

Give a warm welcome
to Derrick Barry.

It's Britney, y'all!

[cheers and applause]

No, I'm just kidding.

So before I did All Stars,

I wanted to call some celebrity
friends for some advice.

So here's a little rundown.

Lady Bunny.
You'd better make top two,

otherwise you're just
a bottom to two boyfriends.

[laughs]

Kaitlyn. So I have
some dresses of Chris's

if you need to borrow any.

Madonna. Wearing a kimono
is a no-go.

Tell Michelle Visage
that she's not me, but ask her

if she wants to adopt
or borrow a baby from Malawi.

Cher. You called me
after Madonna?

Fuck you!

Miley. Oh, my God,
my dad is gonna pitch a tent.

Celine. I think
you should go for it! Whoo!

Cynthia. Show them
your cuckoo mis amores.

Laganja.
Yes, God, honey money,

the house down boots, okurrr?

[laughter and applause]

Thank you guys so much.
Have a good night!

I want to like Derrick's
so badly.

Wait, I did forget one.

I also called Joan Rivers,

and she said,
"I didn't say anything.

I am dead,
you fucking moron. Ahh!"

[laughter and applause]

Thank you!

RuPaul: Please enjoy
the vocal stylings of Jujubee.

♪ I'm sitting all alone,
crying on the floor ♪

♪ Thinking about
the same old lies you've told ♪

♪ I can't bear my broken soul ♪

♪ The sun is shining bright, yet
it's storming in my insides ♪

♪ I can hear
the silent lightning strike ♪

♪ Trying to get you
off my mind ♪

♪ I don't wanna think,
I don't wanna feel a thing ♪

♪ 'Cause your lies
ripped my heart apart... ♪

That is passion
coming out her throat.

♪ I don't wanna love again
no more ♪

♪ I just need a drink ♪

♪ Drink till
I could feel a thing ♪

♪ 'Cause your lies
broke my heart so hard ♪

♪ Got me defeated ♪

♪ I don't wanna love again
no more ♪

[cheers and applause]

Put your hands together
for India Ferrah.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the rules are very simple.

No lifting, no touching,
no holding, no moving.

Do not disturb the queen that
you see before your very eyes.

So listen up.

Drag is not a contact sport.

[cheering]

Bam!

Drag is not a contact sport!

[all laugh]

Drag is not a contact sport!

♪ Dude, get her off of me ♪

♪ Dude, get her off of me ♪

♪ I am serving glamour
and she is serving camp ♪

♪ Now drop, now drop ♪

♪ Now drop it down low ♪

♪ I am here to shantay ♪

♪ All these bitches got to go ♪

♪ Yes, that means you ♪

[cheers and laughter]

Drag is not a contact sport!

Okay, God,
I shouldn't have did that.

Drag is not a contact sport!

[cheers and applause]end act

RuPaul: Welcome, ladies.

Hi.

From this moment on,

All Star rules
have been suspended...

forever!

-Bitch.
-What?

That's right,
we're gonna do eliminations

a little differently this
season.

Each week I'll choose
one top All Star,

not two.

In the werkroom,
the top All Star

will secretly
choose the lipstick

of the bottom queen
she thinks should go home.

And all of the rest of you
will cast your vote

for the bottom queen
you think should get the chop.

Oh, my God.

And yes, the top
All Star of the week

will lip sync for her legacy,

but she'll be
competing against...

[echoing]
a secret lip sync assassin.

Oh, my God.

-Oh.
-What?

If the top All Star
wins the lip sync,

the bottom queen she chose
will get the chop.

Now, if the lip sync assassin
wins,

she will reveal the lipstick

of the queen that the group
has voted to go home.

Miss Thing,
if I'd had lenses in these,

they would have popped out,
bitch.

Now, when I call your name,
please step forward.

Shea Couleé.

Blair St. Clair.

Mariah Paris Balenciaga.

Jujubee.

You are all safe.

-Can I say something?
-Yes, please.

Mariah, your performance
had a very beautiful message,

and the fact that
you brought that message

I think is very important.

So for that, I really thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Safe queens may leave the stage.

Ladies, you represent

the tops and bottoms
of the week.

Now it's time
for the judges' critiques,

starting with Miz Cracker.

Hello.

It was really fun,
it was really funny.

You stuck with
your pickle theme,

and I thought your act
was hilarious.

You're the real dill.

That phallic entrance
was everything.

I mean, you're talking
about pickles,

I just saw a beautiful
phallic shape walking on stage,

and I loved it.

That's funny, Ricky.

We think that
when we see you.

[all laugh]

You've created for yourself
this little lane

that is so identifiable
with Cracker.

And then you reveal
this glamour.

This is stu-un-ni-ing-uh.

-Thank you.
-Thank you, Cracker.

Shabbat shablam.

Shabbat shablam, Ru.

Up next, Alexis Mateo.

Hi-ee.

I was blown away
by your performance tonight.

Oh, thank you.

I never wanted it to end.

You were having so much fun.

Everybody wanted
to party with you.

When you were on stage,
you were not alone.

It was you
and all your ancestors,

and I appreciated that.

I'll even forgive that one-inch
heel that you have on your foot.

Hey, you gonna like them,
goddamn it.

I stoned them for you.

[all laugh]

Thanks, you guys.

Up next, India Ferrah.

You know, India, it was good
to see you in particular here,

because I know
that after your season

you had a very public break-up
with the art of drag.

Yes. Drag stopped being fun
for a minute

because I let it get to me,

and I took anger
and put it on the Internet

and put it on social media,

and I went into
a very deep, dark hole.

Luckily, I was strong enough
to pull myself out,

and I'm in a much better place.

You performed tonight

like somebody
who has something to prove,

and I loved it.

I have one word for you.

-Yes?
-Hairography.

-Yes!
-Ahh!

-That was--
-Here, I'll get that for you.

-Aah!
-There you go.

-Explosive, baby.
-Thank you.

Explosive.

You killed every second
of this performance.

I thought it was nearly perfect.

Thank you.

All right, up next,
Derrick Barry.

I want to compliment you first

on not coming out here
and just relying on Britney.

Hey.

-However...
-Oh.

The impersonations
were not great.

If you did not tell us who
they were before you did them,

I might have gotten maybe two.

My advice, if you separate
a little bit

between character and character,

it would probably allow us

to kind of grasp
a little bit better.

Here's what I would love
to get from you.

Rather than
an impression of Britney

or an impression
of 13, 14 other celebrities,

I would just love
to get Derrick Barry.

Who are you?

What do you have to say?

All right,
up next, Mayhem Miller.

Let's talk about your diction.

[laughs]

I couldn't really understand
the words to the song,

and if you can't hear
what you're saying,

I'm losing the story.

Okay.

The entrance was very powerful,
and then it didn't take me

to where I thought
you were going to take us.

I was so excited
about where it was gonna go,

and then when it went there,
I thought, oh,

can we go back
to where we were?

Up next, Ongina.

Hi-ee.

I love that you had
a whole production number

in the Drag Race theme,
and it was cute.

It kind of didn't go anywhere
after you had two reveals.

You're kind of
just left there, like, okay,

I guess I'll just dance now.

It stalled a little bit.

I just got super nervous
for some reason,

and that's really crazy,
because I perform.

Like, I love performing.

I know what kind of show
you can put on.

I also know how nerves
can wipe that all out.

I wish I could have done better.

All right, ladies,
based on the judges' critiques,

I've made some decisions.

India Ferrah...

con-drag-ulations.

You're the top All Star
of the week.

What?

[applause]

That means the world to me.
Thank you.

You've won a five-day stay
in Reykjavik, Iceland,

hotel and airfare included,
courtesy of Pink Iceland.

Yes!

Derrick Barry,

Mayhem Miller,

you are the bottom All Stars
of the week.

The rest of you are safe.

You may leave the stage.end act

Oh, someone feels good!

Someone feels real good
right here.

Oh, they all look so delightful.

Oh, bitch, I fucking did it!

Now these girls
know to watch out.

-Congratulations.
-Oh, my God, congratulations!

Thank you.

Aah!

How do you feel right now?

It's crazy.

It's so overwhelming
and exciting.

And the bottom two
is Derrick and Mayhem.

I'm gonna be honest.

I thought it was gonna be
Ongina and Mayhem.

I was surprised, too.

You guys, I don't know
what happened.

I was like, okay,
I'm fucking this up.

I'm just gonna do
a little shimmy here

and a little shimmy there.

Well, that's what happens
when you get in your head.

Yeah, I know, and I've been
in my head all fucking week.

But, like, an All Star
believes in themselves.

-I literally did not.
-I know.

I wanna talk to each of you,
if you don't mind.

Yeah, I would love to.

I think
I'm gonna take you first.

Okay. My fate
is in the hands of India,

and that's a little scary,

that I might be pleading a case

to a jury
that's already decided.

I wanna know
why you wanna be here.

I need to be here

because people need to see
the fully realized queen.

So my influences and my drag
is what I have to bring.

Don't hide behind
the impersonations.

People need to see a fiercer,
darker, dramatic Derrick.

If you're gonna deliver her.

-Yeah.
-Okay.

I'll take that
into consideration.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

And congratulations.
You deserved it.

I love what you said
to the judges.

And knowing
that you are vulnerable

is all I needed to know
that you are real.

You guys know I was in
mock trial in high school,

and I've been to court
many times, so...

[all laugh]

Let me tell you
about this real quick.

I think I have more
than she does.

I think my drag
is more well-rounded,

and I'm here
and I'm ready to work.

I know how magnetic you are,

and I wasn't feeling
that magnetism.

I wasn't feeling
being drawn in as much.

I had a bad day.

I still haven't decided yet,
so don't look at me.

[all laugh]

All the queens get a vote,

and I don't know
what criteria they're using.

All I know is

I was more entertained
by Derrick's performance

than I was with Mayhem's.

Should she go home?
I don't know.

RuPaul, what the fuck?

♪ Hey, Derrick ♪

♪ Hey, Derrick ♪

Can you tell us why
you're the one to stay?

I thought
that it was successful,

and the audience was laughing.

Of course, I could have slayed
it as Britney and won, but--

I thought you were doing Britney
the entire time.

I swear to you.

I also did kind of
think that as well.

You did Britney in look.

Yeah, I kind of got that,
and I--

Well, that's my drag, though.

I know.

I really do feel like
if I wore this,

then I'm a version of Britney.

Toxic Britney.

If I'm wearing that,

I'm Dream Within a Dream
Britney.

What about this?

This is giving me
red carpet Britney.

Um...

Oh, I didn't wanna do that.

People are always saying,
I wanna see the real you.

Well, you're looking at it.

It's like you tell me that
you want me to be somebody else,

but you want me
to be somebody else

from the somebody else
that I already am.

Bitch, I'm a fan of yours.
You know that.

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

But it's a hard decision

because I didn't hear
all the lyrics,

and I wanna know that
I'm not gonna see this again.

The thing is, I'm not giving up.

I wanna stay, and I feel
I deserve to stay.

Can I ask you something?

If I am ever in this position...

Okay, let's talk.

-I mean...
-Let's talk.

Would you get rid of me or...

India's presenting to me
an alliance possibly.

Hmm.

Here's the deal.

If I'm ever in that chair
and you over here,

I got you.

-Okay.
-You know what's up.

Interesting. Okay.

I came here to play,

and the more friends
you have in this game,

the longer you last.

[laughs]

-Keep me, bitch.
-Bitch.

Ugh, the first elimination
of the season.

Everything's different now.

This is a Ru-mocracy.

Anything can happen.

Trump is president,
chaos reigns.

Girl, this was a difficult one,

but I got to go with my guts.

I wish I could have done this
to a jackass.

I'm not going home this early,

and I think that my sisters
in the werkroom

know I have more to give.

I'm Mayhem. Duh.

Sorry, girl.

To take away someone's chance,

to pick a lipstick,
put it in there,

and possibly
send that girl home,

that's a lot of power.

But I am here
to fight for the crown,

and let's be honest here.

This has been
a long time coming.end act

Welcome back, ladies.

Now, to earn your place
in the Drag Race Hall of Fame,

you need to persevere,

no matter what or who
fate throws your way.

Ladies, the time has come...

to present this week's

[echoing] lip sync assassin!

Oh, my God.

[whispers] Who is it?

This is gonna be some T.

-Ooh.
-Oh.

Mama, the drama.

Who is this queen?

Oh, my God,
who the fuck can it be?

Who? Show me!

[echoing] Ru-veal yourself!

This is crazy.

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God.

[cheers and applause]

Yay!

No way!

Yvie Oddly, Season 11 winner
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

I've seen that bitch perform.

She turns it.

Oh, my God.

But I'm ready.

Bring it on.

Ladies, Yvie holds the lipstick

of the queen that the group
has voted to go home.

Now, if Yvie wins the lip sync,

the queen on her lipstick
gets the chop.

Two queens stand before me.

India, this is your chance
to impress me,

win $10.000,

and earn the power to give one
of the bottom queens the chop.

The time has come...
[thunder]

to lip sync...

[echoing] for your legacy!

Good luck,
and don't fuck it up.

[music plays]

♪ She's into superstition ♪

♪ Black cats and voodoo dolls ♪

♪ I feel a premonition ♪

♪ That girl's
gonna make me fall ♪

♪ She'll make you
take your clothes off ♪

♪ And go dancing in the rain ♪

♪ She'll make you live
her crazy life ♪

♪ But she'll
take away your pain ♪

♪ Like a bullet to your brain ♪

♪ Upside, inside out,
she's living la vida loca ♪

♪ She will wear you out ♪

♪ Living la vida loca ♪

♪ Living la vida loca ♪

♪ She's living la vida loca ♪

Oh!

♪ Woke up
in New York City... ♪

Baby, this is a show.

Badass.

♪ Upside, inside out ♪

♪ She's living la vida loca ♪

♪ She'll push
and pull you down ♪

♪ Living la vida loca ♪

♪ Living la vida loca ♪

♪ She's living la vida loca ♪

♪ Gotta, gotta,
gotta vida loca ♪

♪ Gotta, gotta,
gotta vida loca ♪

♪ Gotta, gotta, gotta,
la vida loca ♪

[cheers and applause]

Oh, my God!

-Wow.
-Oh, my God!

-Whoo!
-I mean...

All right, ladies,

I've made my decision.

Yvie Oddly...

con-drag-ulations.
You're a winner, baby.

[applause]

The $10.000 will roll over
to next week's tip.

[gasps]

Oh, my God.

Look, the lip sync assassin
bullshit

has just changed
this competition forever.

[imitates gunshots]
Pew, pew.

[applause]

India, you are safe.

You may step
to the back of the stage.

Thank you so much.

Good job, India.

Yeah.

Will the bottom queens
please step forward?

With great power
comes great responsibility.

Yvie, which queen

has the group chosen
to get the chop?

The group has spoken,

and the queen that they chose
to give the chop is...

Derrick Barry.

Oh.

As it is written,
so it shall be done.

Derrick, you are
and will always be an All Star.

Now sashay away.

Thank you.

Thanks for the opportunity
to come back.

[applause]

[sighs]

It definitely sucks
to go home first.

I mean, because obviously,
I wanted to win, so...

The biggest disappointment

is I don't get to showcase
everything that I can do.

But just being here
reminded me how much I can do

and how ambitious my drive is.

And about those rules
being suspended?

Don't act like
I'm not coming back.

[all laugh]

[cheers and applause]

Con-drag-ulations, All Stars.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in hurr?

-Amen!
-Amen!

Now let the music play.

♪ I am American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

RuPaul: Next time,
on All Stars...next time

I voted for you to go home.

I literally was up all night.

Help me sleep.

Go to bed.

Each of you will write
your own love-sickening verse

to the smash hit I'm in Love.

I picked Hannibal Lecter.

This bitch
is into eating people?

And she's that skinny?

♪ I'll take this trident-- ♪
Aah!

Oh, shit.

I love you,
but you can be difficult.

You're egotistical.

Oh, that's garbage.

RuPaul: Ru-veal yourself!

[RuPaul laughs, bell dings]

♪ I am American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

♪ Am-Am-Am-Am-American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪