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1
00:02:01,078 --> 00:02:03,164
Good morning students.
2
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,875
This is Principle Westly.
3
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:09,837
Sharpen your number 2 pencils and bang those
erasers
4
00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:13,924
it's another glorious day here at old Tromaville High.
5
00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:19,847
Hall Monitors are out in force so don't be late for your
first. . . period .
6
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:45,456
Ah, please.
7
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,291
Please, someone help me please!
8
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,585
Ew, check out that gash!
9
00:02:54,965 --> 00:02:56,050
Mop it up! Mop it up!
10
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,426
Mop it up! Mop it up!
11
00:02:57,718 --> 00:02:58,761
Mop it up! Mop it up!
12
00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,179
Mop it up! Mop it up!
13
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,472
Mop it up! Mop it up!
14
00:03:01,972 --> 00:03:02,890
Mop it up! Mop it up!
15
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,171
My Legs! My Legs!
16
00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:36,173
My foot!
17
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:41,262
Ah, Look what you have done with your cunt juice.
Ahhhhhhhh!
18
00:03:48,352 --> 00:03:49,270
Hey what's going on?
19
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:50,354
What's going on?
20
00:03:50,646 --> 00:03:53,524
If you don't know you should have seen vol. 1 .
21
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,901
In any case, here is a refresher course.
22
00:03:56,193 --> 00:03:57,153
Your crypt notes.
23
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,947
This is Tromaville High school .
24
00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:02,658
Unfortunately located right next door.
25
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:10,833
To the horribly contaminated factory and headquarters
of Tromorganic Foods stuff I no.
26
00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:12,626
Okay that's enough.
27
00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:13,961
Look I 'm a cameo actor.
28
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,255
I , I can't do all these long roles.
29
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,132
C' mon Lloyd you take over.
30
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:19,884
Okay Peter Parker,
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00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,178
Last semester we learned that Mr. Herzkauf
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the evil greedy CEO of Tromorganic Foods stuff
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conspired with the principal
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00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:30,436
of Tromaville High school to sell contam inated
35
00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:33,272
lunches to every school of New Jersey and the world .
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00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,649
After eating chemically polluted tacos,
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00:04:35,941 --> 00:04:40,863
the tone deaf nerdy glee club transformed into a gang
of sadistic cretins.
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00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:45,826
And the side effects of the mutated food made the sing
like beautiful nightingales.
39
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,706
Meanwhile, rich girl Lauren and Trailer trash
40
00:04:50,998 --> 00:04:52,374
Chrissy fell in love,
41
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:53,793
and fucked their brains out.
42
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,336
Kevin the wonder duck
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00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:59,215
feasted on carelessly disposed up mutating taco
garbage.
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00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:00,883
Which of course led
45
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,927
to duck down throat rape...
46
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,638
...and as every science 101 student knows
47
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:08,349
when lesbians exchange fluids from the duck rape
48
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:09,767
it transforms them
49
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:10,976
into this...
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00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,770
And in Tromaville
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this inadvertently started a gender equally political
movement.
52
00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:18,359
A lesbionic dual
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00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,987
beat the crap out of the cretins who have previously
bullied them
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00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:24,824
Lives were lost.
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00:05:25,115 --> 00:05:27,076
Zac the fat slob who smelled like roast beef
56
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,912
used his outdated blackberry camera
57
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,873
to photograph and black mail our two lovers.
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00:05:33,165 --> 00:05:35,543
Mr. Chips everyone's favorite science Teacher had
both eyes
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00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,420
poked out by a mis-directed laser
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00:05:38,712 --> 00:05:40,256
and mutant cretin vomit
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00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,675
and everyone blamed god .
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00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:46,053
As you can see vol . 1 one dealt with all
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00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:48,055
the hot button issues that are relevant issues
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00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:50,474
of teenagers today including what goes inside the
mind
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00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:54,186
and a mutated body of a hot pubescent adolescent.
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00:05:54,478 --> 00:05:57,565
This is a story about today's complicated young
teenagers.
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And who better to illuminate these themes
68
00:06:00,442 --> 00:06:02,403
than a 70-year-old man?
69
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,196
So let's all return to,
70
00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:06,699
Return to Return to Nuke 'Em High
71
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,951
A. K.A. volume 2
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00:06:09,326 --> 00:06:10,202
already in progress.
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00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:27,595
As I told you before Mr. President
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it's not just about the army of mutant cretin students
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00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,433
raised on tainted tacos.
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00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,101
You'd be happy to know that
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00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:35,603
business is booming
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00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,815
and by booming , I ' m not referring to some student' s
head exploding .
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00:06:40,107 --> 00:06:43,027
I mean we are gonna have taco Tuesday
not just in every school
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00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:47,573
In New Jersey, but in schools all over this big blue
marble.
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00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:50,868
You are going to be richer
than a Bavarian chocolate
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00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,662
melting on the balls of
Donald Trump.
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00:06:53,954 --> 00:06:54,747
You Asshole!
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00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,833
Yes, indeed.
when you leave the oval office,
85
00:06:58,125 --> 00:07:02,588
you'll have a mansion that will make
camp David look like, look like camp Auschwitz?
86
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:07,843
And speaking of gas, our little gas
plan is working great.
87
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:11,472
You're not just going to be rich ,
you are going to be young!
88
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,016
That's right, you are going to be young .
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00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,689
Now Give Daddy his Jesus Juice. Ah!
90
00:07:33,702 --> 00:07:34,787
Let me out!
91
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:38,582
I gotta get out of here!
92
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,252
This cage is worse
than having to pay my student loan bill!
93
00:07:43,170 --> 00:07:45,214
Ms. Goldberg . Now!
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00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:55,683
As your Principle,
it is incumbent upon me
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00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:59,979
to address your recent
rash of delinquent behavior.
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00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,856
Malmener une étudiante en difficulté
97
00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:06,151
Bullying a special needs girl
is in no way for a young lady to behave
98
00:08:06,443 --> 00:08:11,991
and now poor Mr. Chips
has been blinded by her acidic vomit.
99
00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:16,328
We won't concern ourselves
with such tawdry matters.
100
00:08:16,912 --> 00:08:19,748
But would you like to explain this?
101
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:21,875
It's a mediocre smart phone,
102
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:25,087
probably the only thing you can afford
on an American teacher salary.
103
00:08:26,296 --> 00:08:27,464
I know what this is about.
104
00:08:28,048 --> 00:08:29,800
This is about my blog
in the missing students.
105
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,802
I'm on to something aren't I?
106
00:08:34,346 --> 00:08:35,389
Oh , yes and no.
107
00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:40,853
Your Blog is filled with
fabricated and inflammatory lies
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00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:45,524
of Tromaganic and our government
subsidized lunch program .
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00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:53,824
Oh sure, there have been a couple of unrelated
instances of spontaneous cranial explosions.
110
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:57,411
The odd phallic slug
in the septic tank...
111
00:09:21,268 --> 00:09:23,020
But I ' ll get to the bottom of it
112
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,147
And I don't need your nose in all up in
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00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:27,524
how I perform my duty.
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To wipe away our students fears
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00:09:30,527 --> 00:09:32,571
and flush them away forever.
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The glee club may have been
inexplicably transformed into
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00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:43,582
hot topic hipsters
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00:09:43,999 --> 00:09:46,960
but we all go
through changes in High school .
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It's called puberty.
120
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:56,720
There you have it.
121
00:09:57,137 --> 00:10:00,557
Proof positive that our students
are singing the praises
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00:10:00,849 --> 00:10:02,768
of our school lunch program
123
00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:04,186
Meanwhile...
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I got a stomach full of tacos
125
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,540
and I gotta take a shit.
126
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,251
What the fuck?
127
00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:29,211
That bitch is ragging hard!
128
00:10:30,170 --> 00:10:31,630
She looks like she is dying .
129
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:34,883
She's not dying ,
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she's dilating!
131
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:39,179
I gotta get a picture of this shit.
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00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:40,055
Me too.
133
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,159
OH GOD!
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00:11:02,494 --> 00:11:03,412
OH GOD!
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00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:04,705
Something tells me this
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00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,666
video has the potential
to go more viral
137
00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:10,836
than Charlie sheen at
the playboy mansion.
138
00:11:14,214 --> 00:11:15,757
How did you?
139
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:17,551
Your pudgy pal
140
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,761
Zac provided me with that video.
141
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:24,308
And all his snitching
cost me was a few scraps of roast beef
142
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,643
and a plate of stale donuts.
143
00:11:26,935 --> 00:11:30,022
He didn't even care if
they were gluten free.
144
00:11:30,397 --> 00:11:32,733
Ah! To be fat and worthless.
145
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:35,944
Should we help her?
146
00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:39,198
You need a license
to be a Doctor.
147
00:11:45,954 --> 00:11:46,997
Well that one wrote itself.
148
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:56,798
Now that's meta.
149
00:11:58,383 --> 00:11:58,967
That girl .
150
00:11:59,259 --> 00:11:59,927
That pussy.
151
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,096
It's, it's like a clown car!
152
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:05,515
You know, that's a really good metaphor.
153
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,976
Actually ladies, that's
a simile
154
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,395
You have exactly
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00:12:10,687 --> 00:12:13,482
24 hours to take down that Blog
156
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:18,070
or that video of you
and your carpet munching girly whore
157
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:22,574
it's going to find its way under
the Talking Tromaville Morning TV show.
158
00:12:23,158 --> 00:12:27,287
For the enjoyment
of the homophobic Tromavillians out there.
159
00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:33,877
How's your mornin ' been?
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00:12:34,169 --> 00:12:35,712
Grab a cup of morning joe
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00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:37,130
we're about to start the show.
162
00:12:37,422 --> 00:12:39,925
Charla and woody will put a smile
on your grill .
163
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,552
Talking Tromaville!
164
00:12:42,844 --> 00:12:47,099
Today we are going to be exposing
lots of homosexuals in Tromaville.
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00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:47,933
I love it,
166
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,435
celebrity shaming
my favorite pass time.
167
00:12:50,727 --> 00:12:53,230
Right here in talking Tromaville
ladies and gentlemen .
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00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,857
Talking Tromaville
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It's your choice.
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00:13:06,743 --> 00:13:07,661
Oh God!
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00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:16,378
What kind of God?
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00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,715
Zac ratted me out.
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00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,217
That fat smelly
roast beef fink.
174
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,011
Hey what can you do?
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00:13:24,469 --> 00:13:25,429
It's the age of snark.
176
00:13:25,929 --> 00:13:28,557
Every fat sweaty loser
living in his mom's basement
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00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,142
has a blog and an opinion.
178
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:31,560
Look at Zac.
179
00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:47,826
It's Emmanuel Lewis!
180
00:13:48,243 --> 00:13:49,870
Gimme that fuckin
tit you bitch!
181
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:06,553
Don't Do it.
182
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,639
Don't eat the imbecile cord
183
00:14:09,931 --> 00:14:11,141
its bad luck.
184
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,478
We have to find a
place to take a shower.
185
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,188
To the cafeteria ladies.
186
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,481
To the cafeteria!
187
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,403
I loved you in Webster.
188
00:14:23,695 --> 00:14:24,321
Gimme that tit.
189
00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:27,240
Lauren!
190
00:14:32,537 --> 00:14:33,413
Are you OK?
191
00:14:37,876 --> 00:14:38,794
What the fuck?
192
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:40,712
On this Episode of...
193
00:14:41,129 --> 00:14:42,506
Talking Tromaville morning show,
194
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,300
Lauren gives birth to a monster baby.
195
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:46,676
But How?
196
00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:48,845
You didn't even have a mid-wife?
197
00:14:49,596 --> 00:14:50,889
When they raped me with Kevin .
198
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:54,643
Duck Rape!
199
00:14:57,145 --> 00:14:59,064
I think he impregnated me.
200
00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:02,484
I wanna suck the tit!
201
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:03,318
I wanna suck the tit!
202
00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:05,946
It must have been a premature
e-quackualtion
203
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:16,915
Morning wood?
204
00:15:17,999 --> 00:15:19,251
Thanks for the Heads up.
205
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:20,919
I'm sorry about that.
206
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,671
Teenagers
207
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:23,672
Beastitaly!
208
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:24,589
Wait what?
209
00:15:24,881 --> 00:15:29,136
Ya right I know. Is it a passing trend
like planking .
210
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,597
Ya or when they were dumping
the cold water
211
00:15:32,889 --> 00:15:34,641
on each other to raise money for baseball .
212
00:15:35,016 --> 00:15:35,684
Kids
213
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:42,649
You want a fart?? Here's a Fart.
214
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:53,577
Mr. Herzkauf are you sure
you should be doing this?
215
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,579
The fart Harvester is perfect.
216
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,290
But this fart harvester has not
been approved by the FDA.
217
00:15:58,582 --> 00:15:59,875
There is nothing to worry about
218
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,751
it's the fartain of youth .
219
00:16:02,377 --> 00:16:05,464
Some may call it the fountain
of pee youth .
220
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,507
Get it, pee youth.
221
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:09,176
Work with me!
222
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:13,013
Take the fuckin' tube out of my ass!
223
00:16:13,346 --> 00:16:14,514
What about the side effects?
224
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:21,771
Welcome to parent teacher day
225
00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:24,149
at Tromaville High school .
226
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:28,153
Remember if your
child has gone missing ,
227
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:30,739
suffered unexplained mutations,
228
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:31,990
head explosions
229
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,326
or spontaneous human combustion.
230
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:37,078
Beware we are
no longer liable
231
00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:40,081
and even if we were,
do you think we have money?
232
00:16:40,373 --> 00:16:41,750
We are a public school .
233
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,293
Will you hush that thing up?
234
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:44,461
I don't know how.
235
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:47,130
I don't know,
eat it or poke it or something .
236
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,015
Are they finally making Gremlins 3?
237
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:58,975
Is Joe Dante coming back to direct it?
238
00:16:59,267 --> 00:16:59,768
You can tell me!
239
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:03,855
So many questions!
240
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,525
Zac! why did you rat me out?!
241
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,276
Listen Chrissy!
242
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:13,031
The reason I exposed you as being a Lesbo is simple.
243
00:17:13,448 --> 00:17:14,282
I'm miserable.
244
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:17,911
I repulse every
piece of trim that comes near me.
245
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:22,040
What kind of a God combines
this annoying voice?
246
00:17:22,415 --> 00:17:23,833
With this awful body.
247
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,670
And gives it a repugnant
roast beef aroma?!
248
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:29,339
I'm 15 years old
for God sakes.
249
00:17:29,756 --> 00:17:31,258
I look like I 'm 45.
250
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,096
I was born with this terrible affliction.
251
00:17:36,846 --> 00:17:39,266
It's called douche-bag-atosis.
252
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,353
Douche-bag-atosis effects
1 in every 7 Troma actors
253
00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:48,525
All I really want
is to fulfill my 2 life goals.
254
00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:51,486
One, is to run naked
255
00:17:52,028 --> 00:17:54,281
being truly excepted as a fat nudist.
256
00:17:55,156 --> 00:17:57,576
The second is fucking two girls
way out of my league.
257
00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,828
Is that too much to ask for?
258
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:05,917
Tell you what big boy.
259
00:18:06,459 --> 00:18:08,962
The PTA meeting room is empty.
260
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,965
So why don't you take off all your clothes and um ,
meet us there.
261
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,049
Oooh. Oh . Ooh , all ,
262
00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:18,013
all my clothes?
263
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,724
Close your eyes,
and count to ten .
264
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:23,476
And if you are a real good dog
we will give you your clothes back.
265
00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:27,772
Just so long as you fuck us,
like we have never been fucked before!
266
00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:54,382
I'm going to cornhole you ,
carpet munching bitches
267
00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:57,260
and I 'm gonna cum
in you lesbiotic ears.
268
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,513
And that's not all parents!
269
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:01,723
On purity day
270
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:07,395
we are going to have Ms. Kathy Lee give herself coming
in to give her special speech on chastity to the girls.
271
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:11,900
There is just enough time for one more question .
Questions anyone?
272
00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:15,403
Who's ready to fuck?
273
00:19:18,114 --> 00:19:18,531
Oh God I 'm sorry.
274
00:19:18,823 --> 00:19:19,699
Let me help you.
275
00:19:28,249 --> 00:19:29,668
That is it!
276
00:19:30,418 --> 00:19:31,252
Out! Out!
277
00:19:31,544 --> 00:19:32,879
To the suspension room with you!
278
00:19:57,570 --> 00:20:01,366
Charla don't you hate that dream
when we show up to school naked for some reason.
279
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:06,371
I sure do and for some people,
that naked dream becomes and undressed reality.
280
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,623
We will be talking to Zac Baldwin
281
00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:11,876
who had an unfortunate run in
with a full moon .
282
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:15,505
Charla, woody. I am furious.
283
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:18,258
Lauren and Chrissy:
you clueless, classless,
284
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,552
clit sniffing,
clam lappers.
285
00:20:20,927 --> 00:20:24,472
I will have my revenge! Ha! Ha!
286
00:20:26,474 --> 00:20:28,727
Wonderful . That is one angry lesbian .
287
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:03,678
And we'll all feel gay
when Johnny comes marching home.
288
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,475
Look at that fat lesbian!
289
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:09,434
Shut up.
290
00:21:10,685 --> 00:21:11,644
I did what you wanted .
291
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,104
Good work.
292
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,106
But if you want to be a Cretin.
293
00:21:16,524 --> 00:21:17,942
You gotta have the pipes.
294
00:21:18,318 --> 00:21:19,944
So belt something out for us.
295
00:21:20,278 --> 00:21:22,739
Sing! sing! sing!
296
00:21:39,547 --> 00:21:42,050
And I didn't realize that what
looked like eyeballs
297
00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:43,009
on my penis,
298
00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:46,137
was actually uh . .an awful STD.
299
00:21:46,721 --> 00:21:47,180
Uh , ha who knew?
300
00:21:48,306 --> 00:21:51,518
Now this scene is
probably the most important in the movie.
301
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,854
Oh, OK now get, get ready to listen
to these, these up coming lines.
302
00:21:55,146 --> 00:21:55,939
These lines right here.
303
00:21:56,606 --> 00:22:00,568
This section really sums up my 40 years
of film making
304
00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:04,781
it's pivotal and you shouldn't even be
listening to this commentary,
305
00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:10,203
or these, these.
You are going to miss the basis of my entire career.
306
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:15,458
I remember when I was shooting this scene,
I was sky high on cat tranquilizers
307
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:19,170
and I thought it would be fine to cover,
to cover the scene with only three shots.
308
00:22:19,754 --> 00:22:21,673
As you can tell
I obviously made the right choice.
309
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:22,590
We can see that
310
00:22:22,882 --> 00:22:25,468
through the international language
of public domain music.
311
00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:27,762
Zac is able to convince the Cretins
312
00:22:28,054 --> 00:22:31,641
that he has the underwear
with all to lead the cretins to victory.
313
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:34,352
But enough of my yapping.
314
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:35,687
This scene speaks
315
00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:37,730
or should I say sings for itself.
316
00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:46,281
That was awesome.
317
00:22:46,573 --> 00:22:47,907
You are in fat boy. Yes!
318
00:22:49,367 --> 00:22:50,869
Let's take that school down!
319
00:22:51,202 --> 00:22:52,620
That place is ours!
320
00:22:56,457 --> 00:23:02,005
And I am personally taking down those two dykes
bitches!
321
00:23:04,799 --> 00:23:08,511
But first I 'm going to
get a good night sleep!
322
00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:14,350
Attention ,
Tromorganic Employees
323
00:23:14,642 --> 00:23:19,439
a shipment of plaster filler food stuff
has arrived in docking bay ninety four.
324
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:21,566
Remember to punch
your time cards.
325
00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:23,526
There will be no ...
326
00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:29,949
uh , stick it in the
plasty food stuff.
327
00:23:30,241 --> 00:23:31,117
It's organic isn't?
328
00:23:31,451 --> 00:23:32,327
It will make it taste better?
329
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,817
Look out
Mother Fucker!
330
00:24:24,045 --> 00:24:25,004
It's teething .
331
00:24:25,838 --> 00:24:27,298
Isn't the baby going to wake her up?
332
00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:29,258
No. she's an alcoholic.
333
00:24:29,550 --> 00:24:31,386
She slept through 3 gang bangs.
334
00:24:43,272 --> 00:24:44,315
What do we name him?
335
00:24:44,899 --> 00:24:45,650
How bout Terri?
336
00:24:46,317 --> 00:24:47,235
Or Her?
337
00:24:47,902 --> 00:24:48,569
How bout Terri??
338
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:50,113
Or will?
339
00:24:52,615 --> 00:24:53,866
It?
-I 'm going to go with Terri .
340
00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:58,705
Um , Listen . I was so freaked out by the baby.
341
00:24:59,622 --> 00:25:01,874
I forgot to tell you
that wesley plans to expel us
342
00:25:02,166 --> 00:25:03,501
on talking Tromaville's
morning TV show.
343
00:25:04,043 --> 00:25:05,211
Talking Tromaville!?
344
00:25:08,423 --> 00:25:09,507
I love that show.
345
00:25:10,758 --> 00:25:13,386
I watch every morning
after Toxic Crusaders.
346
00:25:13,678 --> 00:25:14,262
I want porn .
347
00:25:16,180 --> 00:25:18,391
Uh , listen. I don't think you understand.
348
00:25:20,059 --> 00:25:22,603
Wesley knows about our relationship.
349
00:25:23,312 --> 00:25:25,231
If I don't delete the Blog
by tomorrow,
350
00:25:25,898 --> 00:25:28,943
Wesley is going to put us on Facebook
and tag the entire student body.
351
00:25:29,235 --> 00:25:30,987
Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!
352
00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:34,157
We will be stars
in our very own oxball incident.
353
00:25:34,991 --> 00:25:37,910
Last time,
I was ducked raped .
354
00:25:38,369 --> 00:25:40,955
What's next? A porcupine in my pussy?
355
00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:44,751
Tit, Tit!
356
00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:47,045
Delete the Blog .
357
00:25:48,796 --> 00:25:50,506
Nobody believes
it anyways.
358
00:25:52,633 --> 00:25:53,009
Don't you?
359
00:25:53,301 --> 00:25:54,052
I hate you.
360
00:25:54,343 --> 00:25:54,844
I want to die.
361
00:25:56,471 --> 00:25:57,055
Gimme that tit.
362
00:25:59,265 --> 00:26:00,600
You know I do.
363
00:26:42,225 --> 00:26:44,644
You know I do
Oh Chrissy! Oh fuck me with that huge 15 inch
364
00:26:45,353 --> 00:26:47,647
fuck me like an only
sensitive lesbian lover
365
00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,732
with a huge rubber strap on .
366
00:26:54,862 --> 00:26:57,490
Oh my god Chrissy! Thank god for my kegel exercises.
367
00:27:00,618 --> 00:27:02,411
I didn't think giving
birth to a duck
368
00:27:02,703 --> 00:27:04,288
would be such an aphrodisiac.
369
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:06,249
Stress relieving!
370
00:27:11,712 --> 00:27:14,423
Do you ever? . . . Miss Eugene?
371
00:27:18,886 --> 00:27:20,388
We should totally bang tonight!
372
00:27:21,430 --> 00:27:24,016
Eugene needs to feel this now.
373
00:27:25,351 --> 00:27:26,477
Ah man!
374
00:27:27,103 --> 00:27:28,479
Ah man!
375
00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:32,859
Ah MAN! You really are a MAN!
376
00:27:35,570 --> 00:27:36,404
Sometimes ...
377
00:27:37,780 --> 00:27:38,239
A little.
378
00:27:38,781 --> 00:27:40,366
Meanwhile...
379
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:44,787
Ha! Ha! You are a bad girl .
380
00:27:45,079 --> 00:27:45,705
Your BAD!
381
00:27:48,791 --> 00:27:50,126
Um . Mmmm . The machine needs greasing.
382
00:27:51,794 --> 00:27:52,712
You ready for this baby?
383
00:27:53,087 --> 00:27:53,796
Ya daddy.
384
00:27:58,885 --> 00:27:59,802
BANANA! Ow!
385
00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:04,515
Do you ever miss Kevin?
386
00:28:04,891 --> 00:28:05,641
Your Duck?
387
00:28:07,393 --> 00:28:08,811
I love Kevin.
388
00:28:26,495 --> 00:28:26,913
No!
389
00:28:27,705 --> 00:28:28,664
Sometimes.
390
00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:33,336
But ducks have been known
to survive well in the wild .
391
00:28:33,628 --> 00:28:36,797
Even ones with mutated
green eyes and sharp teeth.
392
00:28:42,470 --> 00:28:43,387
I hope so.
393
00:28:46,349 --> 00:28:48,517
I was just checking when Charlie over the news desk
394
00:28:48,809 --> 00:28:49,518
trying to break.
395
00:28:49,810 --> 00:28:52,271
He tells me he's been flooded with calls
all morning .
396
00:28:52,563 --> 00:28:54,398
About some rapid duck
397
00:28:54,690 --> 00:28:57,318
or another that has
been menacing the citizens of Tromaville.
398
00:28:58,319 --> 00:29:00,321
We have Doctor Jack swinney here.
399
00:29:00,738 --> 00:29:01,239
He's good
400
00:29:01,530 --> 00:29:03,783
who is the foremost expert
in animal control
401
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:06,035
and he is going to break it down for us.
402
00:29:06,327 --> 00:29:08,246
He did the dolphin fucker special .
403
00:29:10,539 --> 00:29:11,123
Doctor.
404
00:29:11,457 --> 00:29:14,961
I am an expert on animals.
I am also an expert on birds.
405
00:29:15,836 --> 00:29:16,671
It's only a matter of time
406
00:29:16,963 --> 00:29:19,090
before a duck
like this storms our street.
407
00:29:19,423 --> 00:29:22,593
Blood thirsty, ripping apart our women and our
children .
408
00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:26,347
Because we have gone from fracking
to quacking my friend.
409
00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:29,517
Dr. swinney can we survive
this scourge?
410
00:29:29,850 --> 00:29:34,438
Can Tromaville possibly defeat this disgusting ,
despicable, disasterdly DUCK?!
411
00:29:35,356 --> 00:29:38,150
Or is humanity as we know
done for?
412
00:29:38,526 --> 00:29:40,236
It's the Jews, the Jews.
413
00:30:09,390 --> 00:30:10,016
Mr. Herzkauf,
414
00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:12,685
these records indicate
that this foodstuffs
415
00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:15,438
factory is loaded
with numerous safety violations.
416
00:30:16,188 --> 00:30:19,191
Inspector, I can guarantee
your safety is of
417
00:30:19,483 --> 00:30:20,860
paramount importance.
418
00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:23,904
In fact, we have four thousand employees here,
419
00:30:24,238 --> 00:30:27,325
and I regard each one
of them as family.
420
00:30:27,616 --> 00:30:32,747
Tell my wife I forgot to
pick up the cottage cheese!
421
00:30:37,084 --> 00:30:41,505
Uh uh, we have three thousand one hundred and
ninety nine employees here at Tromorganic Foodstuffs
422
00:30:41,797 --> 00:30:44,008
and I regard each one
of them as family.
423
00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:45,468
Now let's continue our tour
424
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:49,680
and I ' ll take you to our totally
up-to-date bribe department.
425
00:30:49,972 --> 00:30:51,057
Please.
426
00:30:53,559 --> 00:30:57,229
Mr. Chips my favorite science teacher?
what are you doing here?
427
00:30:58,814 --> 00:31:01,275
Oh , Chips and I we've been
fuck buddies for years.
428
00:31:01,609 --> 00:31:02,818
Correct-o-mundo!
429
00:31:03,319 --> 00:31:04,195
Disgusting .
430
00:31:04,779 --> 00:31:05,863
After you were born ,
431
00:31:06,906 --> 00:31:11,285
your father warren became obsessed
with the nuclear waste that mutated him .
432
00:31:12,411 --> 00:31:12,745
Wait.
433
00:31:13,079 --> 00:31:14,455
You mean my father is warren
434
00:31:14,747 --> 00:31:16,374
from the first Class of Nuke ' Em High?
435
00:31:16,665 --> 00:31:18,626
Yes. And that's not all
436
00:31:18,918 --> 00:31:20,044
Hold on to your butts.
437
00:31:20,336 --> 00:31:22,380
Warren became Herzkauf.
438
00:31:22,671 --> 00:31:24,965
Warren Goldberg didn't like his name,
439
00:31:25,257 --> 00:31:29,804
so he changed it to Lee Harvey Herzkauf.
440
00:31:30,096 --> 00:31:31,055
Hey young warren!
441
00:31:31,472 --> 00:31:32,431
See you later guys!
442
00:31:32,723 --> 00:31:35,559
Nd maybe tonight we can
all get together and do homework, huh?
443
00:31:35,851 --> 00:31:39,563
Meanwhile, I 'm going up to the science lab
and experimenting on myself.
444
00:31:39,855 --> 00:31:40,898
I'm going to live forever.
445
00:31:41,315 --> 00:31:45,903
Someday, someday I plan to own the biggest
fast food factory in Tromaville.
446
00:31:46,529 --> 00:31:47,988
Or maybe the whole world!
447
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,826
He became consumed
by the power it brought him ,
448
00:31:52,410 --> 00:31:58,416
and began to perform
heinous experiments on himself.
449
00:31:58,707 --> 00:32:00,751
We've been tracking his movement for years,
450
00:32:01,043 --> 00:32:03,129
and hiding you from him for your own good .
451
00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:06,173
But warren began mutating at a rapid rate.
452
00:32:06,674 --> 00:32:08,926
The chemicals began to change him .
453
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:10,678
Corrupt him .
454
00:32:11,178 --> 00:32:13,931
Aged his body
and distorted his features.
455
00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:15,766
Warren started a Kickstarter
456
00:32:16,058 --> 00:32:18,811
and raised enough money
to create a food products company.
457
00:32:19,103 --> 00:32:20,729
One of the largest in the world .
458
00:32:21,021 --> 00:32:23,816
He called this mega conglomerate, '" Disney. '"
459
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:26,861
Oh , I mean, '"Tromorganic Foodstuffs. '"
460
00:32:27,153 --> 00:32:29,989
soon he will raise an army
of mutated cretins,
461
00:32:30,281 --> 00:32:33,868
and cause mass destruction
of biblical proportions.
462
00:32:34,577 --> 00:32:36,745
He discovered a way to transform
463
00:32:37,037 --> 00:32:39,748
by gorging on nuclear waste
and tainted food stuffs.
464
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,626
Ack in the eighties,
no didn't mean no.
465
00:32:43,210 --> 00:32:47,715
Warren got your mother fucked up
on contaminated nuclear marijuana.
466
00:32:48,048 --> 00:32:51,969
And what followed was a tubular night
of 1980s passion.
467
00:32:52,553 --> 00:32:53,137
You know Chrissy,
468
00:32:53,721 --> 00:32:54,847
maybe maybe tonight
469
00:32:55,139 --> 00:32:59,393
I won't use a condom ,
cause that way we might have an illegitimate child
470
00:32:59,685 --> 00:33:03,147
who just might turn out to be a lesbian.
471
00:33:07,943 --> 00:33:08,861
Ooo. Tubular.
472
00:33:17,578 --> 00:33:18,746
And she got pregnant with you.
473
00:33:19,747 --> 00:33:21,832
Like so many teenagers of the eighties,
474
00:33:22,124 --> 00:33:24,001
she aborted you in the school bathroom .
475
00:33:24,543 --> 00:33:25,794
Which you survived .
476
00:33:26,629 --> 00:33:28,088
You're such a good swimmer.
477
00:33:29,089 --> 00:33:31,050
You Aunt found you and brought you home.
478
00:33:31,342 --> 00:33:37,806
You grew from a nasty ass slug
into a beautiful blossoming lesbian...
479
00:33:38,474 --> 00:33:41,560
...who apparently took 25 years
to get through high school .
480
00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:44,772
Wait. But the tainted food stuffs
and mutations
481
00:33:45,064 --> 00:33:47,733
come from Tromorganic Foodstuffs, I no.
which is run by...
482
00:33:48,025 --> 00:33:51,362
Lee Harvey Herzkauf.
483
00:33:55,324 --> 00:33:57,910
No. That's impossible.
484
00:33:58,494 --> 00:34:01,038
Search your feelings,
you know it be true.
485
00:34:06,126 --> 00:34:09,547
You mean Lee Harvey Herzkauf
is my father?
486
00:34:10,422 --> 00:34:11,674
I mean warren.
487
00:34:11,966 --> 00:34:14,260
Haven't you noticed that photograph
of your father and you
488
00:34:14,552 --> 00:34:16,345
that's been on the mantel
all these years?
489
00:34:17,972 --> 00:34:18,889
It's looking right at you!
490
00:34:22,017 --> 00:34:22,434
Father?
491
00:34:49,878 --> 00:34:51,255
Would you fuck me?
492
00:34:52,172 --> 00:34:53,090
I'd fuck me.
493
00:34:54,633 --> 00:34:56,260
I'd fuck me hard .
494
00:34:57,511 --> 00:35:00,264
I'd fuck me so hard .
495
00:35:04,768 --> 00:35:05,644
Precious,
496
00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:06,687
where is it?
497
00:35:07,187 --> 00:35:07,855
Where is it?
498
00:35:13,861 --> 00:35:15,904
I've got a yummy snack for you.
499
00:35:16,363 --> 00:35:17,740
Come here
you little shit!
500
00:35:21,243 --> 00:35:22,161
Precious!
501
00:36:15,089 --> 00:36:16,507
Why are you doing this?
502
00:36:18,425 --> 00:36:19,510
Isn't it obvious?
503
00:36:22,012 --> 00:36:22,638
Fine...
504
00:36:36,235 --> 00:36:37,861
Recent studies in the scientific community
505
00:36:38,153 --> 00:36:40,989
have proven that the inhalation
of flatulent gas
506
00:36:41,281 --> 00:36:43,242
prevents all sorts of common ailments.
507
00:36:48,038 --> 00:36:50,457
And it smells pretty damn good as a bonus.
508
00:36:50,749 --> 00:36:52,376
Ailments such as, Diarreah,
509
00:36:52,918 --> 00:36:54,128
Diabetes,
510
00:36:54,420 --> 00:36:55,295
Heart Disease,
511
00:36:55,587 --> 00:36:56,296
and Hair loss
512
00:36:56,588 --> 00:36:58,382
can all be prevented
by smelling farts.
513
00:36:59,425 --> 00:37:00,718
But what many people don't know
514
00:37:01,009 --> 00:37:02,970
is that inhaling the farts of high school students
515
00:37:03,262 --> 00:37:05,597
who have been exposed to our patented nuclear tacos
516
00:37:06,014 --> 00:37:08,684
has been shown to reverse the aging process.
517
00:37:08,976 --> 00:37:10,519
For once saying science stinks
518
00:37:10,811 --> 00:37:11,603
is a good thing!
519
00:37:12,229 --> 00:37:13,480
No wait don't light that!
520
00:37:16,191 --> 00:37:17,526
You wouldn't know it to look at me,
521
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:19,737
but I 'm over sixty years old .
522
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:21,405
Thanks to your gas,
523
00:37:21,697 --> 00:37:24,116
my ass is the ass of a ten year-old boy.
524
00:37:24,783 --> 00:37:25,701
You're mad .
525
00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:27,286
You're mad .
526
00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:30,164
There's no way the government's going
to let you get away with this.
527
00:37:30,956 --> 00:37:32,624
Ha! who do you think is paying and subsidizing
528
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,794
for my gas fart-aine
of youth program?
529
00:37:44,011 --> 00:37:47,181
Yes! Thanks to me the fat-cats in Washington
530
00:37:47,473 --> 00:37:50,058
are going to be turning into the cool-cats of
Hollywood .
531
00:37:50,476 --> 00:37:51,560
You're a monster!
532
00:37:51,852 --> 00:37:52,561
Not yet.
533
00:37:52,978 --> 00:37:56,023
As long as I have a steady supply
of teenage air biscuit,
534
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,193
there is no way
that I will transform
535
00:37:59,485 --> 00:38:01,570
into a poorly constructed non-articulated ,
536
00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:03,655
sloppily designed two thousand dollar monster
537
00:38:03,947 --> 00:38:05,407
that can't even close its mouth .
538
00:38:13,832 --> 00:38:14,541
We interrupt this program
539
00:38:14,833 --> 00:38:16,710
to bring you fast breaking TNN news.
540
00:38:17,044 --> 00:38:20,380
It's official , the united Nations
has declared a worldwide disaster.
541
00:38:20,672 --> 00:38:22,508
The Tromorganics Foodstuffs contagion,
542
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,009
which began several weeks ago
543
00:38:24,301 --> 00:38:25,594
in Tromaville,
New Jersey,
544
00:38:25,886 --> 00:38:28,639
has now spread to over 200 countries.
545
00:38:28,931 --> 00:38:31,725
Leaving millions of crazed cretins
in its woeful wake.
546
00:38:32,434 --> 00:38:36,063
With more on this developing story of the tragic
Tromorganic tacos,
547
00:38:36,355 --> 00:38:41,193
we take you to Chet Bodan ,
reporting live on location from Ulan Bator, Mongolia.
548
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:41,985
Chet?
549
00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:42,903
Thanks, Chuck.
550
00:38:43,195 --> 00:38:43,821
Sources have told us that
551
00:38:44,112 --> 00:38:46,740
Tromorganics Foodstuffs contagion started months
ago
552
00:38:47,032 --> 00:38:48,784
after being shipped out to high schools, universities,
553
00:38:49,076 --> 00:38:51,119
and homeless shelters all over the world .
554
00:38:51,453 --> 00:38:53,247
The white House, Congress,
and President Lemmy
555
00:38:53,539 --> 00:38:55,791
deny any knowledge or involvement.
556
00:38:56,083 --> 00:38:57,668
Is it true that the contagion
557
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,294
has been seeping into the Earth's water supply?
558
00:39:00,003 --> 00:39:00,921
That's right, Chuck.
559
00:39:01,380 --> 00:39:02,297
First Flint, Michigan ,
560
00:39:02,589 --> 00:39:03,715
then Fukijima, Japan,
561
00:39:04,007 --> 00:39:04,925
now Tromaville, New Jersey,
562
00:39:05,217 --> 00:39:07,010
and the list goes on and on.
563
00:39:07,302 --> 00:39:09,263
We now take you to
our reporters in the field .
564
00:39:09,555 --> 00:39:11,431
Let's have a look at these disturbing images
565
00:39:11,723 --> 00:39:12,349
from around the world.
566
00:39:12,641 --> 00:39:14,351
TNN has live team coverage.
567
00:39:14,643 --> 00:39:16,687
The world Health Organization
has failed us.
568
00:39:17,062 --> 00:39:18,730
The CDC has failed us.
569
00:39:19,022 --> 00:39:20,315
The UN has let us down .
570
00:39:20,607 --> 00:39:22,109
The government has let us down.
571
00:39:22,401 --> 00:39:23,318
Everybody was warned
572
00:39:23,610 --> 00:39:25,153
but nobody did anything
573
00:39:25,445 --> 00:39:26,905
until it was in their backyard .
574
00:39:27,197 --> 00:39:27,614
Well folks,
575
00:39:27,906 --> 00:39:28,657
now it's here
576
00:39:28,949 --> 00:39:30,617
the proverbial mutated dog
577
00:39:30,909 --> 00:39:33,495
has taken a chemically polluted dump
578
00:39:33,787 --> 00:39:35,706
in your backyard
with no FDA approval .
579
00:39:35,998 --> 00:39:36,957
Where is the FDA?
580
00:39:37,249 --> 00:39:37,583
Where is the FEMA?
581
00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:40,085
Where is Reverand
Al Sharpton?
582
00:39:40,377 --> 00:39:40,711
Tacos.
583
00:39:41,003 --> 00:39:41,336
You know Chet,
584
00:39:41,628 --> 00:39:44,423
it really bothers me
that people are melting down all over the world
585
00:39:45,173 --> 00:39:46,758
and humanity end
as we know it.
586
00:39:47,217 --> 00:39:48,927
But, there is a truly serious matter
587
00:39:49,219 --> 00:39:50,637
that we haven't even addressed yet,
588
00:39:51,263 --> 00:39:53,724
Kim Kardashian took
three healthy shits today.
589
00:39:54,391 --> 00:39:55,142
That's right, Chuck.
590
00:39:55,434 --> 00:39:56,393
Is it possible
591
00:39:56,685 --> 00:39:58,770
these kids could just be part
of a flash mob
592
00:39:59,062 --> 00:40:00,397
raising awareness for bulimia?
593
00:40:00,689 --> 00:40:02,441
Actually no, the bulimia flash mob
594
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:03,942
is not scheduled till next Friday
595
00:40:04,234 --> 00:40:06,153
at the Missouri state university student Center.
596
00:40:06,486 --> 00:40:08,113
We have no official word
as to what's happening .
597
00:40:08,405 --> 00:40:09,698
But in the spirit of cable news
598
00:40:09,990 --> 00:40:10,908
and the quest for ratings,
599
00:40:11,199 --> 00:40:13,327
we will now repeat these images ad nauseam
600
00:40:13,619 --> 00:40:15,579
to increase viewership through fear mongering.
601
00:40:15,996 --> 00:40:17,289
The Fat Cats at Washington
602
00:40:17,581 --> 00:40:19,499
want to be the Cool Cats of Hollywood .
603
00:40:19,791 --> 00:40:20,292
I'm tellin ya,
604
00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:21,627
it's a conspiracy.
605
00:40:21,919 --> 00:40:23,754
Pourquoi autoriser les tacos
dans les avions?
606
00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:26,256
Why are we letting the tacos
on to the planes?
607
00:40:26,548 --> 00:40:27,841
It's all a conspiracy.
608
00:40:28,133 --> 00:40:29,968
We need to close the borders
immediately.
609
00:40:30,260 --> 00:40:32,471
Some say Tromorganic is responsible.
610
00:40:32,763 --> 00:40:35,015
We need to stop bullying these corporations.
611
00:40:35,307 --> 00:40:36,642
We all know what this is really about.
612
00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:38,435
It's all about the legalization
of pot.
613
00:40:38,727 --> 00:40:39,519
Gay Marriage.
614
00:40:39,811 --> 00:40:40,812
- And the dirty Jews. .
615
00:40:41,104 --> 00:40:41,730
- The dirty Jews.
616
00:40:42,022 --> 00:40:44,024
What kind of God?
what kind of God?
617
00:40:44,316 --> 00:40:45,651
What kind of God?
what kind of God?
618
00:40:46,568 --> 00:40:47,861
Probably one of the Indian ones.
619
00:40:50,530 --> 00:40:52,115
What kind of God allows a monster
620
00:40:52,407 --> 00:40:55,577
like Herzkauf to propagate
and destroy the world?
621
00:40:55,869 --> 00:40:56,620
I hate you.
I don't give a fu ...
622
00:40:56,912 --> 00:40:59,915
You're right.
we must kill God .
623
00:41:00,999 --> 00:41:03,585
Let's just start with Herzkauf.
624
00:41:05,087 --> 00:41:06,505
Oh now what?
625
00:41:07,255 --> 00:41:07,673
I'll get it.
626
00:41:11,551 --> 00:41:12,928
Chrissy Goldberg,
what are the sources of your blog?
627
00:41:13,220 --> 00:41:15,597
Do American lesbians enjoy German scat porn?
628
00:41:15,889 --> 00:41:16,974
Where do you do your shopping?
629
00:41:17,265 --> 00:41:18,725
Oh my God , shut up!
630
00:41:19,810 --> 00:41:21,728
Seriously, don't you care about the corruption
631
00:41:22,020 --> 00:41:23,814
of Tromorganics Foodstuffs
632
00:41:24,106 --> 00:41:27,442
or the fact that they are mutating
and poisoning the student body
633
00:41:28,235 --> 00:41:30,278
or they're going to enslave us all?
634
00:41:34,157 --> 00:41:35,784
Is it true you're carpet munchers?
635
00:41:37,619 --> 00:41:38,787
Which one of you is the man?
636
00:41:39,621 --> 00:41:40,038
Look at me.
637
00:41:40,497 --> 00:41:42,582
Everyone knows
the press are a bunch of idiots.
638
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,710
Do lesbians really like
to scissor?
639
00:41:45,502 --> 00:41:47,045
What do we have to be afraid of?
640
00:41:47,629 --> 00:41:49,631
We've been mutated , bullied ,
641
00:41:50,215 --> 00:41:51,550
I got duck raped .
642
00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:52,926
Isn't your blog slanderous?
643
00:41:53,218 --> 00:41:54,177
WTF.
644
00:41:54,970 --> 00:41:56,513
Everything on my girlfriend's blog
645
00:41:57,514 --> 00:41:58,223
is true.
646
00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:00,559
Tell them my love.
647
00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:01,935
My little Rachel Maddow.
648
00:42:02,227 --> 00:42:03,228
Tell them everything .
649
00:42:05,772 --> 00:42:06,940
Grab her boob!
650
00:42:08,275 --> 00:42:10,986
Much like reality, programming has tainted our
Televisions.
651
00:42:17,159 --> 00:42:17,617
Hello?
652
00:42:19,995 --> 00:42:20,912
Yes, Mr. President.
653
00:42:21,288 --> 00:42:23,081
What the hell is going on over there?
654
00:42:24,791 --> 00:42:25,876
What do you mean , sir?
655
00:42:26,293 --> 00:42:27,544
Turn on the TV.
656
00:42:31,757 --> 00:42:35,802
Principal westly has been blackmailing me and my
soul kissing life partner.
657
00:42:37,137 --> 00:42:38,013
That Bitch!
658
00:42:38,305 --> 00:42:39,431
We all make choices.
659
00:42:40,015 --> 00:42:42,392
Mr. Herzkauf, how would you respond
660
00:42:42,684 --> 00:42:47,606
to the accusations that Tromorganic Farms
is poisoning children all around the world?
661
00:42:47,898 --> 00:42:50,400
Do you think I could come up with a plot that stupid?
662
00:42:53,111 --> 00:42:54,780
And I will no longer hide.
663
00:42:55,363 --> 00:42:56,448
Take care of it now!
664
00:42:56,740 --> 00:42:58,867
Oh that bitch , I hope
she stubs her clit!
665
00:43:00,827 --> 00:43:01,286
So...
666
00:43:02,829 --> 00:43:03,914
Now that you know all that,
667
00:43:04,831 --> 00:43:05,248
what's up?
668
00:43:05,540 --> 00:43:06,833
- What does vagina taste like?
669
00:43:07,125 --> 00:43:08,001
- Do you use a strap on?
670
00:43:08,293 --> 00:43:10,545
What's the deal with the hairy legs and flannel shirts?
671
00:43:18,762 --> 00:43:20,180
Are you afraid of getting
throat cancer
672
00:43:20,472 --> 00:43:22,599
fueled by abundance accounts of cunnilingus?
673
00:43:22,891 --> 00:43:25,227
You know like Michael Douglas claims?
674
00:43:25,811 --> 00:43:26,436
I don't know.
675
00:43:47,082 --> 00:43:49,084
Lesbo cunt,
you killed two of our Cretin brothers
676
00:43:49,376 --> 00:43:51,962
And now we're going to kill you
and your little mother fucking duck!
677
00:43:56,216 --> 00:43:57,634
Get her hands!
678
00:44:01,888 --> 00:44:03,390
This ain't no
charter school!
679
00:44:03,682 --> 00:44:06,893
We're gonna give you the Lesbo remedy!
680
00:44:07,811 --> 00:44:08,770
So what do we do about Herzkauf?
681
00:44:09,062 --> 00:44:09,855
We have to get the gang together.
682
00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:11,481
Yes, it's up to us to stop Herzkauf.
683
00:44:11,773 --> 00:44:12,732
Yes, let's get Lauren
684
00:44:13,024 --> 00:44:13,650
Lauren?
685
00:44:13,942 --> 00:44:14,609
Help me!
686
00:44:14,901 --> 00:44:15,277
Lauren?
687
00:44:18,697 --> 00:44:19,364
Come on Lauren.
688
00:44:20,115 --> 00:44:22,200
We're late for class!
689
00:44:28,832 --> 00:44:29,166
Lauren?
690
00:44:29,457 --> 00:44:30,375
The backyard!
691
00:44:30,667 --> 00:44:31,084
Lauren?
692
00:44:39,050 --> 00:44:41,428
When Mr. Herzkauf says fart, you fart!
693
00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:42,220
I can't!
694
00:44:42,512 --> 00:44:43,305
I'm a vegan!
695
00:44:48,643 --> 00:44:49,728
What kind of God?
696
00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:51,813
Don't worry about that
697
00:44:52,105 --> 00:44:54,482
It's just a touch of douchebag-a-tosis.
698
00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:58,236
Douchebag-a-tosis affects one out of
every seven Troma actors.
699
00:44:58,528 --> 00:45:00,155
Now everything is going according to plan .
700
00:45:00,447 --> 00:45:02,199
This worldwide contagion
701
00:45:02,490 --> 00:45:04,701
is creating an army of mutated cretins,
702
00:45:04,993 --> 00:45:07,329
and soon I will be all powerful .
703
00:45:08,830 --> 00:45:10,248
Uh . Boss, we got a problem .
704
00:45:11,666 --> 00:45:12,876
We're out of gas.
705
00:45:13,293 --> 00:45:14,419
What about this gas bag?
706
00:45:16,004 --> 00:45:17,047
This tank is empty.
707
00:45:17,547 --> 00:45:19,382
Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo stick!
708
00:45:19,966 --> 00:45:20,967
Call for my rickshaw,
709
00:45:21,259 --> 00:45:23,553
I need to get to the school
and get some fresh meat.
710
00:45:23,845 --> 00:45:24,346
Yes, sir!
711
00:45:37,776 --> 00:45:39,486
It's happening . It's happening!
712
00:45:39,778 --> 00:45:40,570
Run the red light!
713
00:45:40,862 --> 00:45:42,364
I've got to get to the school!
714
00:45:42,697 --> 00:45:43,114
Hurry up!
715
00:45:43,406 --> 00:45:44,115
Yes, sir!
716
00:45:49,621 --> 00:45:51,414
Tromaville Highschool is the second left.
717
00:45:56,294 --> 00:45:58,296
Westly, I've been paying you
millions of dollars
718
00:45:58,672 --> 00:46:01,383
and when I get to the school ,
I want those teenagers lined up!
719
00:46:01,675 --> 00:46:02,842
I need that ass juice!
720
00:46:03,134 --> 00:46:03,593
You hear me!
721
00:46:09,683 --> 00:46:10,725
Gas! I need gas!
722
00:46:11,017 --> 00:46:13,186
Boss, bad news, we're out of gas!
723
00:46:13,603 --> 00:46:14,729
Of course we're out of gas!
724
00:46:15,021 --> 00:46:16,356
What do you think
I 'm going to the school for?
725
00:46:17,357 --> 00:46:18,233
I'm about to . . .
what's happening to me?
726
00:46:18,525 --> 00:46:20,277
We're out of gas. Gas Gas!
727
00:46:20,568 --> 00:46:21,361
Fuel!
728
00:46:21,653 --> 00:46:23,697
Who you calling fool?
729
00:46:24,072 --> 00:46:25,115
If those kids aren't lined up
730
00:46:25,407 --> 00:46:26,408
and farting like crazy,
731
00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:27,575
I 'm going to rip your neck out!
732
00:46:32,914 --> 00:46:33,748
I'm going on foot.
733
00:46:47,971 --> 00:46:49,681
Attention students.
734
00:46:49,973 --> 00:46:53,893
I would like any of you who
are suffering bouts of flatulence
735
00:46:54,185 --> 00:46:55,520
to report to my office
736
00:46:56,062 --> 00:46:58,273
for an impromptu support group.
737
00:47:36,353 --> 00:47:37,270
Get the fuck out!
738
00:47:37,562 --> 00:47:39,147
Let's all run into the school .
739
00:47:39,439 --> 00:47:41,107
We all know that's the safest place
740
00:47:41,399 --> 00:47:42,525
during the school shooting .
741
00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:49,366
Lauren?
742
00:47:54,454 --> 00:47:55,163
Zac!
743
00:48:01,711 --> 00:48:02,212
Uh hey! slater bro...
744
00:48:02,504 --> 00:48:04,130
Yeah , I can barely hear you .
745
00:48:05,715 --> 00:48:07,467
Chrissy, you got to get down here.
746
00:48:07,759 --> 00:48:09,886
The Cretins have your oh-so-hot, luscious,
747
00:48:10,178 --> 00:48:12,013
hard bodied , abs you
could lick whip cream off,
748
00:48:12,305 --> 00:48:13,932
legs that would give
Father Hoolihan a heart attack
749
00:48:14,224 --> 00:48:14,682
girlfriend .
750
00:48:15,475 --> 00:48:16,393
Fuck she's hot!
751
00:48:16,684 --> 00:48:17,602
Yeah ,
752
00:48:18,478 --> 00:48:20,480
uh, get Kelly and meet me there asap OK?
753
00:48:21,439 --> 00:48:23,983
Oh my God . where are the fucking cops around here?
754
00:48:24,776 --> 00:48:25,485
Let's suit up.
755
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:39,999
Lock down .
756
00:48:40,291 --> 00:48:41,126
Lock down!
757
00:48:41,584 --> 00:48:45,004
Tromaville High is going on lock down!
758
00:49:09,904 --> 00:49:11,322
Oh my baby!
Please don't hurt him!
759
00:49:11,614 --> 00:49:12,323
Shut up!
760
00:49:12,615 --> 00:49:13,074
Now move!
761
00:49:13,408 --> 00:49:14,117
I'm going
762
00:49:14,409 --> 00:49:15,827
to shoot the fucking baby!
763
00:49:16,161 --> 00:49:16,619
Move!
764
00:49:16,911 --> 00:49:18,246
Grab her by the pussy!
765
00:49:32,635 --> 00:49:34,053
Now you've done it
Herzkauf
766
00:49:34,471 --> 00:49:35,221
You fool .
767
00:49:35,513 --> 00:49:38,433
Your fart huffing fetish has driven them mad!
768
00:49:40,185 --> 00:49:42,687
I hate these bastard goddamn kids anyway.
769
00:49:43,229 --> 00:49:43,605
Fuck this!
770
00:49:56,618 --> 00:49:57,619
Oh god damnit.
771
00:49:58,036 --> 00:49:58,578
I can't take it.
772
00:49:58,870 --> 00:50:00,246
Why don't you just fuck me in the ass?
773
00:50:01,039 --> 00:50:01,623
Get it over with .
774
00:50:01,915 --> 00:50:03,249
Just do it you bastard!
775
00:50:03,541 --> 00:50:04,375
Suck out my gas!
776
00:50:04,959 --> 00:50:06,377
Suck out my gas!
777
00:50:06,669 --> 00:50:08,046
Suck out my gas!
778
00:50:08,671 --> 00:50:11,090
Hashtag Fail!
779
00:50:15,970 --> 00:50:16,763
Everything OK boss?
780
00:50:30,068 --> 00:50:31,694
Hey, Dale, nice crotch rocket!
781
00:50:31,986 --> 00:50:35,156
Thanks Tristan,
did you see the newest Terrence Malik movie?
782
00:50:40,745 --> 00:50:42,956
Fuck this, I 'm going home
to listen to Michael Bolton .
783
00:50:45,083 --> 00:50:46,626
Take that you stupid tire!
784
00:50:52,298 --> 00:50:53,967
You're fired!
785
00:51:16,030 --> 00:51:17,031
No, no, no.
786
00:51:19,951 --> 00:51:21,703
Please don't rape me. Please. Please.
Don't rape me.
787
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:23,037
Please. Please.
788
00:51:23,913 --> 00:51:24,539
Don't rape me.
789
00:51:24,914 --> 00:51:25,331
Please!
790
00:51:35,925 --> 00:51:37,176
Don't rape me. Please.
791
00:51:37,510 --> 00:51:38,261
Please don't rape me.
792
00:51:38,845 --> 00:51:39,178
Please!
793
00:51:39,512 --> 00:51:40,263
Don't rape me.
794
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:43,933
Please don't put that big
slimey thing in me.
795
00:51:44,225 --> 00:51:45,435
Slap me on the buttocks
796
00:51:45,768 --> 00:51:49,606
with that big, giant claw of yours!
797
00:51:50,648 --> 00:51:51,274
Please! Please!
798
00:51:53,610 --> 00:51:54,402
Please don't rape me.
799
00:51:54,819 --> 00:51:55,278
Please!
800
00:51:55,570 --> 00:51:55,903
Please!
801
00:51:56,195 --> 00:51:56,529
No!
802
00:51:56,863 --> 00:51:57,322
Please!
803
00:51:57,780 --> 00:51:58,823
Please, don't rape me.
804
00:52:27,060 --> 00:52:28,436
Don't fill my cum bucket
805
00:52:28,728 --> 00:52:33,441
with your shimmering , slimey,
monster goo.
806
00:52:40,531 --> 00:52:43,159
Oh yeah . I 'm going to fill your cum bucket
807
00:52:43,451 --> 00:52:46,412
with my shimmering , slimey
monster goo.
808
00:52:47,038 --> 00:52:48,581
No. No!
809
00:52:48,873 --> 00:52:50,249
Travis stop the editing machine now.
810
00:52:50,541 --> 00:52:50,875
Stop!
811
00:52:51,626 --> 00:52:52,293
No!
812
00:52:52,585 --> 00:52:54,170
Stop! I can see where you're going with this.
813
00:52:54,462 --> 00:52:58,216
You're trying to sneak in
an ejaculation scene into this movie.
814
00:52:58,675 --> 00:53:00,176
Travis, did you do this?
815
00:53:00,468 --> 00:53:01,177
Was this your idea?
816
00:53:01,469 --> 00:53:02,929
No, Mrs. Kaufman!
It was his idea!
817
00:53:03,221 --> 00:53:03,805
That's Mark Torgl.
818
00:53:04,097 --> 00:53:06,599
He played little Melvin
in the original Toxic Avenger.
819
00:53:06,891 --> 00:53:07,600
Look at the irony!
820
00:53:07,892 --> 00:53:08,685
He's jerking off,
821
00:53:09,018 --> 00:53:11,562
he he cums in the eye of my character
822
00:53:11,854 --> 00:53:13,690
who's almost fully fully transformed ,
823
00:53:13,981 --> 00:53:15,733
and then I as the monster, I do the obvious,
824
00:53:16,025 --> 00:53:18,820
I take the broom and or a mop
and I I shove it up his ass
825
00:53:19,112 --> 00:53:20,196
and it comes out his penis.
-No!
826
00:53:21,072 --> 00:53:22,907
Dumbo the Elephant thinks
he needs the feather
827
00:53:23,199 --> 00:53:23,533
to fly
828
00:53:23,825 --> 00:53:26,369
and you think that you need all this sex,
829
00:53:26,661 --> 00:53:28,746
and all this violence and all these boobies
830
00:53:29,038 --> 00:53:31,165
and all this other stuff
in order to make a good movie.
831
00:53:31,457 --> 00:53:33,000
And you don't need it!
832
00:53:33,334 --> 00:53:34,585
You're making a great movie.
833
00:53:34,877 --> 00:53:36,587
Alright, alright, alright Blue Apron Housewife.
834
00:53:36,879 --> 00:53:38,756
Instead of the ejaculation scene,
835
00:53:39,048 --> 00:53:42,260
how about we go and film
a wonderful new scene?
836
00:53:42,552 --> 00:53:44,512
While the Cretins
are going crazy in the school,
837
00:53:44,804 --> 00:53:45,596
destroying the school ,
838
00:53:46,347 --> 00:53:48,516
a beautiful young student
with nice breasts
839
00:53:48,808 --> 00:53:50,393
goes downstairs with her professor.
840
00:53:50,685 --> 00:53:51,227
Travis get this.
841
00:53:51,519 --> 00:53:52,353
The teacher says,
842
00:53:52,645 --> 00:53:55,314
" I don't care if you got gang
raped by six Cretins
843
00:53:55,606 --> 00:53:56,566
and you got anal warts.
844
00:53:56,858 --> 00:53:59,068
I am your homeroom teacher and I love you! "
845
00:54:00,111 --> 00:54:01,612
They're about to make
hot monkey love.
846
00:54:01,988 --> 00:54:05,867
The young girl is so enamored with
the distinguished older man
847
00:54:06,367 --> 00:54:07,702
that she doesn't even notice that slime
848
00:54:07,994 --> 00:54:13,040
from the monster is dripping on those luscious,
beautiful fun bags.
849
00:54:21,424 --> 00:54:22,091
When the monster,
850
00:54:22,383 --> 00:54:24,844
my character, is fully transformed now
with a tail ,
851
00:54:25,136 --> 00:54:27,263
and the tail wraps
around the chicks legs
852
00:54:27,555 --> 00:54:29,140
and then penetrates her vagina.
853
00:54:29,432 --> 00:54:30,725
Right into her cunt.
854
00:54:31,017 --> 00:54:31,768
Stop. No!
855
00:54:32,101 --> 00:54:32,643
No!
856
00:54:32,977 --> 00:54:33,311
No!
857
00:54:33,603 --> 00:54:34,145
There is enough of this!
858
00:54:34,437 --> 00:54:37,023
We don't need more penises.
we don't need vaginas.
859
00:54:37,315 --> 00:54:38,566
E don't need penises and vaginas...
860
00:54:38,858 --> 00:54:39,484
...in this movie.
861
00:54:39,817 --> 00:54:41,068
There's enough of the naked girls
862
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,029
And tails going in .
Just stop it!
863
00:54:44,655 --> 00:54:45,615
Hear me out. Hear me out.
864
00:54:46,324 --> 00:54:48,242
After the scene with the nether regions.
865
00:54:48,576 --> 00:54:51,537
The tail wraps around her head ,
and crushes her head.
866
00:54:52,789 --> 00:54:53,831
It's a Troma Head Crushing .
867
00:54:55,500 --> 00:54:57,210
And then , and then at the end of the scene
868
00:54:57,627 --> 00:54:58,252
the teacher says,
869
00:54:58,628 --> 00:55:00,630
"sorry, I 'm from Orange County.
870
00:55:00,922 --> 00:55:01,839
I have no morals. "
871
00:55:02,381 --> 00:55:03,716
It'll be perfect, right?
872
00:55:04,133 --> 00:55:05,176
No, no.
873
00:55:05,468 --> 00:55:06,677
You're not going to film that scene.
874
00:55:07,386 --> 00:55:08,429
It's got my name on it.
875
00:55:08,721 --> 00:55:09,680
I'm one of the producers.
876
00:55:09,972 --> 00:55:11,682
I don't want this in my movie.
877
00:55:11,974 --> 00:55:13,684
Alright, alright I 'm going to give you what you want.
878
00:55:13,976 --> 00:55:14,977
The Hell with the First Amendment.
879
00:55:15,269 --> 00:55:16,813
We're going to censor it, Travis go ahead .
880
00:55:17,104 --> 00:55:19,106
Then we'll have a nice PG rated movie
881
00:55:19,398 --> 00:55:21,734
And everyone will be happy
except for Travis and Me.
882
00:55:23,194 --> 00:55:26,239
But can we, can we see the ejaculation
one more time, please?
883
00:55:26,572 --> 00:55:29,283
No. No. Not in my movie.
884
00:55:59,856 --> 00:56:00,940
H oh what kind of God?
885
00:56:13,202 --> 00:56:14,036
Please,
886
00:56:14,579 --> 00:56:20,626
don't put that pulsating monstrosity
in my naughty hole.
887
00:58:17,702 --> 00:58:19,620
Oh My God! Go away!
888
00:58:36,262 --> 00:58:37,054
Tell my story.
889
00:58:38,180 --> 00:58:40,933
Leave out the part
where I shit my pants.
890
00:59:05,916 --> 00:59:07,793
Bastard ,
you have my nose!
891
00:59:09,086 --> 00:59:09,670
Wait a minute,
892
00:59:10,212 --> 00:59:12,465
now Daddy
has to buy me a new nose.
893
00:59:20,848 --> 00:59:22,933
The oldest hath bore most
894
00:59:23,392 --> 00:59:28,814
we who are young
have never seen so much or lived so long.
895
01:00:06,977 --> 01:00:07,520
Slater!
896
01:00:07,853 --> 01:00:10,564
I knew that guy he was in our science class.
897
01:00:12,775 --> 01:00:13,567
Lauren!
898
01:00:14,652 --> 01:00:15,444
Come on .
899
01:00:15,903 --> 01:00:16,445
I'm coming!
900
01:00:16,987 --> 01:00:17,905
Let's go gang!
901
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:19,156
Slipping on blood .
902
01:00:20,741 --> 01:00:22,535
I'm sorry Lauren ,
903
01:00:22,827 --> 01:00:25,329
but the only thing worse
904
01:00:25,913 --> 01:00:29,792
than being bullied for being gay
905
01:00:31,335 --> 01:00:34,171
is being bullied for being fat!
906
01:00:36,507 --> 01:00:36,966
Lauren!
907
01:00:37,716 --> 01:00:38,551
Hold it fuckers!
908
01:00:39,802 --> 01:00:40,386
Put it down!
909
01:00:46,183 --> 01:00:48,519
This is for ripping out my nose ring, bitch!
910
01:00:48,811 --> 01:00:51,147
Well well .
911
01:00:52,648 --> 01:00:55,025
You guys wanted to see me naked, right?
912
01:00:56,235 --> 01:00:57,486
Well here I am .
913
01:00:58,571 --> 01:01:00,865
Let me introduce you guys
914
01:01:01,157 --> 01:01:04,660
to my friend . Prince Albert!
915
01:01:11,417 --> 01:01:12,710
Time to rape the baby!
916
01:01:26,098 --> 01:01:26,849
What the duck?
917
01:01:29,435 --> 01:01:30,311
Fuck you!
918
01:01:55,628 --> 01:02:00,382
Kevin! I'd recognize those beautiful
brown bedroom eyes of yours anywhere.
919
01:02:05,429 --> 01:02:07,056
Here's a nut for you losers!
920
01:02:18,525 --> 01:02:19,318
Move move move move.
921
01:02:34,208 --> 01:02:35,459
Are you okay, buddy?
922
01:02:36,126 --> 01:02:37,086
Did it go off?
923
01:02:37,503 --> 01:02:39,922
Yeah , it went off.
924
01:02:40,839 --> 01:02:41,715
But I 'm fine.
925
01:02:44,009 --> 01:02:45,010
It's a miracle!
926
01:02:56,397 --> 01:02:57,273
Oh man. That really hurts.
927
01:02:59,191 --> 01:02:59,358
Chrissy.
928
01:02:59,650 --> 01:03:00,276
Yes.
929
01:03:00,567 --> 01:03:02,736
Your girlfriend is oh-so hot.
930
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:04,905
Has abs that you could
lick whip cream off.
931
01:03:05,197 --> 01:03:07,491
Legs that would give
Father Hoolihan a heart attack.
932
01:03:12,121 --> 01:03:13,330
You take care of her, okay?
933
01:03:20,379 --> 01:03:21,964
No! No!
934
01:03:23,882 --> 01:03:25,801
No! No!
935
01:03:44,903 --> 01:03:45,571
The baby!
936
01:03:47,656 --> 01:03:50,200
Talking Tromaville!
937
01:03:50,492 --> 01:03:51,577
By the way Chrissy,
938
01:03:51,869 --> 01:03:54,288
when you see a monster
in the later reel of this movie,
939
01:03:54,621 --> 01:03:55,831
that monster's your father!
940
01:04:08,093 --> 01:04:08,969
Lauren!
941
01:04:09,595 --> 01:04:10,596
You know I 'm ticklish .
942
01:04:10,888 --> 01:04:12,014
Now is not the time!
943
01:04:18,395 --> 01:04:19,104
Quit it!
944
01:04:40,584 --> 01:04:42,002
Dad , stop no!
945
01:04:45,589 --> 01:04:48,342
It's me
Chrissy, you're daughter.
946
01:04:48,967 --> 01:04:50,552
Stop all this madness.
947
01:04:52,262 --> 01:04:53,931
I know you're in there somewhere.
948
01:05:21,291 --> 01:05:22,209
And I know that you're mad that Mom
949
01:05:22,501 --> 01:05:23,585
left you for another woman .
950
01:05:24,878 --> 01:05:26,255
But you have to accept it!
951
01:05:27,756 --> 01:05:28,757
Mom's gay!
952
01:05:29,633 --> 01:05:32,052
And Dad , I 'm gay too.
953
01:05:33,345 --> 01:05:37,724
It's a new age, it's a new dawn ,
it's a new day at Tromaville.
954
01:05:38,559 --> 01:05:39,435
Things have changed .
955
01:05:40,310 --> 01:05:40,477
Hell ...
956
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:42,980
it's a new New Jersey.
957
01:05:45,023 --> 01:05:45,774
Please, I love you.
958
01:05:47,484 --> 01:05:48,402
I love you.
959
01:06:38,535 --> 01:06:39,328
Sorry we're late.
960
01:06:39,620 --> 01:06:40,704
Chip shit himself.
961
01:06:54,343 --> 01:06:54,718
Get the laser!
962
01:06:55,010 --> 01:06:55,761
I got it!
963
01:06:56,053 --> 01:06:57,137
Shoot it!
-Press some buttons!
964
01:07:02,726 --> 01:07:03,185
Shoot it!
965
01:07:17,741 --> 01:07:19,576
This game is the biggest
966
01:07:21,036 --> 01:07:24,039
piece of shit.
967
01:07:31,171 --> 01:07:32,172
What the fuck?
968
01:07:39,972 --> 01:07:40,847
Thank God we crashed in front
969
01:07:41,139 --> 01:07:42,516
of the Michael Jackson
burn center.
970
01:07:44,268 --> 01:07:47,187
And the skin graph work they did ,
from your ass on my face?
971
01:07:47,688 --> 01:07:48,313
Phenomenal
972
01:07:48,605 --> 01:07:49,940
Yeah , actually it looks a little bit better.
973
01:07:50,232 --> 01:07:51,191
A little more hair on your face,
974
01:07:51,567 --> 01:07:53,610
but other than that you look terrific.
975
01:07:54,069 --> 01:07:55,320
Unfortunately, I lost my penis.
976
01:07:56,196 --> 01:07:58,782
And the good news is
that the left over insurance money
977
01:07:59,074 --> 01:08:01,952
flipped the bill on this brand new 1977 Thunderbird .
978
01:08:02,244 --> 01:08:05,080
Identical to the last one
that flipped over in the other movie.
979
01:08:05,831 --> 01:08:09,167
So nothing could possibly go wrong
as I drive us all
980
01:08:09,459 --> 01:08:11,211
to tonight's Foghat laser light show.
981
01:08:11,503 --> 01:08:15,173
And nothing is going to stop us
from seeing that laser light show.
982
01:08:15,507 --> 01:08:15,966
Straight ahead .
983
01:08:16,258 --> 01:08:17,050
OK. Here we go.
984
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:19,553
Ahhhh , the irony!
985
01:09:16,735 --> 01:09:18,779
Oh that is awful weed!
986
01:09:19,446 --> 01:09:21,865
How come snoop Dogg gets all the good stuff?
987
01:09:22,532 --> 01:09:23,450
Why is that?
988
01:09:24,159 --> 01:09:25,035
Who am I talking to?
989
01:09:25,327 --> 01:09:26,620
I'm the final authority.
990
01:09:28,622 --> 01:09:29,039
What?
991
01:09:37,130 --> 01:09:39,299
You killed God!
992
01:09:39,758 --> 01:09:41,635
I killed God .
993
01:09:49,434 --> 01:09:50,644
You still got to kill Herzkauf.
994
01:09:51,770 --> 01:09:52,270
No!
995
01:10:03,865 --> 01:10:04,616
Can't get a clear shot.
996
01:10:10,580 --> 01:10:11,206
Wait, don't shoot Kevin!
997
01:10:22,092 --> 01:10:23,218
You might only have one shot.
998
01:10:24,052 --> 01:10:25,303
One shot is all I need .
999
01:10:26,972 --> 01:10:29,015
Let's fuck shit up!
1000
01:11:34,289 --> 01:11:34,998
Uh . . . Run!
1001
01:11:37,042 --> 01:11:38,668
Wait, the baby! Kevin!
1002
01:11:39,169 --> 01:11:39,836
We don't have time,
1003
01:11:40,128 --> 01:11:40,629
Go!
1004
01:12:33,849 --> 01:12:35,559
Did you see that shit? Aha!
1005
01:12:52,033 --> 01:12:53,076
No more.
1006
01:12:53,994 --> 01:12:56,288
There will be no more poisoning of our food .
1007
01:12:58,123 --> 01:13:00,709
No more, uh , homophobia.
1008
01:13:01,459 --> 01:13:02,544
No more bullying.
1009
01:13:02,836 --> 01:13:04,880
No more fucking exams!
1010
01:13:06,298 --> 01:13:08,675
And no more core curriculum!
1011
01:13:14,931 --> 01:13:16,308
I'm sorry I was such a dick.
1012
01:13:17,142 --> 01:13:19,644
I guess I never really knew
what true love was
1013
01:13:19,936 --> 01:13:23,899
until somebody whipped out a penis
and waved it in my face.
1014
01:13:26,526 --> 01:13:30,947
I just wanted to make sure that you and me were,
you know...
1015
01:13:35,702 --> 01:13:38,288
if you ever want to have a freaky ménage,
1016
01:13:38,872 --> 01:13:40,332
you got my digits Goldberg.
1017
01:13:41,166 --> 01:13:42,792
The machine is back on line!
1018
01:13:45,462 --> 01:13:48,048
Hail Satan!
1019
01:13:51,092 --> 01:13:53,762
I'm the last remaining survivor
of the missing Tromaville students.
1020
01:13:54,304 --> 01:13:56,598
All the others were thrown
into Tromorganic Foodstuffs
1021
01:13:56,890 --> 01:13:58,934
in order to meet the USDA's daily standards.
1022
01:13:59,476 --> 01:14:03,730
Had it not been for your explosion , I would've
ended up n some obese American's burrito.
1023
01:14:04,481 --> 01:14:04,940
Thank you.
1024
01:14:07,025 --> 01:14:08,151
Glad we could help.
1025
01:14:15,492 --> 01:14:16,409
Kevin!
1026
01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:18,161
You made it!
1027
01:14:20,747 --> 01:14:21,831
My Baby.
1028
01:14:24,042 --> 01:14:24,918
Our Baby.
1029
01:14:26,753 --> 01:14:27,462
Thank you.
1030
01:14:28,213 --> 01:14:29,130
Thank you, Kevin.
1031
01:14:56,491 --> 01:14:58,868
I love you too you old quack!
1032
01:14:59,869 --> 01:15:00,328
Kevin!
1033
01:15:01,371 --> 01:15:02,330
Where are you going?
1034
01:15:02,664 --> 01:15:04,082
You're part of our family now.
1035
01:15:32,152 --> 01:15:33,737
But wait, there's more!
1036
01:15:36,114 --> 01:15:37,532
Fuck Tromaville High!
1037
01:15:37,866 --> 01:15:40,368
Fuck Tromorganic Foods.
And Fuck Herzkauf!
1038
01:15:40,994 --> 01:15:42,203
Let him take the fall!
1039
01:15:45,957 --> 01:15:46,666
Ah, mother of fuck!
1040
01:16:14,360 --> 01:16:16,029
Well my brigadiers,
1041
01:16:16,321 --> 01:16:17,238
what did we learn?
1042
01:16:17,655 --> 01:16:20,742
I think we've all learned
some valuable lessons.
1043
01:16:21,242 --> 01:16:23,745
We've learned that
love conquers all .
1044
01:16:24,329 --> 01:16:27,165
Even if your partner
is impregnated by water fowl .
1045
01:16:27,457 --> 01:16:29,834
We learned that
bullying is wrong .
1046
01:16:30,126 --> 01:16:33,254
And singing public
domain barber shop songs
1047
01:16:33,546 --> 01:16:35,423
while violently killing people...
1048
01:16:35,715 --> 01:16:38,426
Hey that's no way of going through life.
1049
01:16:38,718 --> 01:16:43,181
After all you might get slaughtered
by a giant mutated duck
1050
01:16:43,598 --> 01:16:44,557
named Kevin.
1051
01:16:45,391 --> 01:16:48,561
We learned that Return to Nuke'Em High
1052
01:16:48,853 --> 01:16:52,732
volumes 1 and 2 add up to 3.
1053
01:16:53,108 --> 01:16:57,904
Did it make sense
to split this movie into two volumes?
1054
01:16:58,196 --> 01:16:59,114
I don't know.
1055
01:16:59,405 --> 01:17:01,116
If you paid for both parts,
1056
01:17:01,407 --> 01:17:03,493
hey it sounds like a good idea.
1057
01:17:04,536 --> 01:17:09,082
Now, let's review
the important segments of the film .
1058
01:17:19,300 --> 01:17:20,760
And most important,
1059
01:17:21,261 --> 01:17:24,681
we learned that eating
glowing green tacos
1060
01:17:25,181 --> 01:17:29,477
manufactured by a heartless,
greedy corporation
1061
01:17:29,811 --> 01:17:32,063
is very unhealthy.
1062
01:17:32,355 --> 01:17:34,315
Now please think
1063
01:17:34,732 --> 01:17:35,608
before you shove that
1064
01:17:35,900 --> 01:17:37,819
fried sodium filled ,
1065
01:17:38,111 --> 01:17:39,821
heart attack inducing,
1066
01:17:40,113 --> 01:17:42,532
fast food down your gullet.
1067
01:17:42,991 --> 01:17:43,658
After all ,
1068
01:17:43,992 --> 01:17:45,326
you are what you eat.
1069
01:17:45,702 --> 01:17:46,327
And please,
1070
01:17:46,661 --> 01:17:49,622
don't forget to recycle
loose cans and bottles.
1071
01:17:49,914 --> 01:17:51,499
Now, if you ' ll excuse me,
1072
01:17:51,791 --> 01:17:54,460
I'm late for the Foghat
laser light show.
1073
01:17:54,752 --> 01:17:57,672
My dark blue, 1970s car
1074
01:17:57,964 --> 01:18:00,967
and friends are waiting for me downstairs.
1075
01:18:01,342 --> 01:18:04,721
Oh , and by the way, Excelsior!
1076
01:18:38,713 --> 01:18:41,049
God , don't you
hate it when movies wear out their welcome?
1077
01:18:41,341 --> 01:18:42,175
Oh yeah , yeah .
1078
01:18:42,467 --> 01:18:45,637
It's almost as if a bad news story
is broken up into two parts
1079
01:18:46,012 --> 01:18:48,223
and the second half airs
three years later
1080
01:18:48,514 --> 01:18:49,891
for no apparent reason .
1081
01:18:50,475 --> 01:18:51,643
Speaking of which ,
1082
01:18:51,935 --> 01:18:54,729
coming up tomorrow, we're going to take a look at the
42 separate endings
1083
01:18:55,021 --> 01:18:58,191
to Peter Jackson's extended
cut of Return of the King!
1084
01:18:58,566 --> 01:19:01,736
Until then,
this is Talkin'' Tromaville
1085
01:19:02,028 --> 01:19:03,821
saying makalaka hi meka hiney ho.
1086
01:19:04,239 --> 01:19:06,407
Meeny meeny teekalee oh farsen
1087
01:19:39,857 --> 01:19:42,735
A wise man,
I think it was Hillary Clinton,
1088
01:19:43,403 --> 01:19:44,028
once said that
1089
01:19:44,487 --> 01:19:46,322
the mistakes of the past
1090
01:19:46,781 --> 01:19:50,285
by those that don't take note of them .
1091
01:19:51,536 --> 01:19:53,162
We thought we rid Tromaville
1092
01:19:53,538 --> 01:19:56,040
of the corruption
and the corrupted food ,
1093
01:19:56,708 --> 01:19:59,002
but big business
is no monster
1094
01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:02,338
that can be defeated
by a couple of hard
1095
01:20:03,172 --> 01:20:03,881
bodied lesbians.
1096
01:20:04,841 --> 01:20:06,259
I should know,
for I am Chrissy Goldberg ,
1097
01:20:07,677 --> 01:20:11,931
and this is the result of years
of radiated taco consumption
1098
01:20:13,182 --> 01:20:14,100
and a duck rape.
1099
01:20:14,726 --> 01:20:15,935
So heed this warning,
1100
01:20:17,145 --> 01:20:18,938
for the future will affect us.
1101
01:20:19,647 --> 01:20:22,859
Future events
will affect us all in the future.
1102
01:20:24,444 --> 01:20:28,197
Isn't that right,
Lauren my love?
1103
01:20:29,615 --> 01:20:32,910
Chrissy, Chrissy, I love you!
1104
01:20:33,328 --> 01:20:35,163
I love you!
1105
01:20:35,747 --> 01:20:36,998
I love you.
1106
01:20:37,874 --> 01:20:40,585
But you got to say no to the GMOs
1107
01:20:40,877 --> 01:20:44,213
or else you too might find yourself mutated
1108
01:20:44,505 --> 01:20:46,466
into a black midget in a remake!
1109
01:20:46,758 --> 01:20:47,884
It's not a remake.
1110
01:20:48,176 --> 01:20:49,135
It's a reboot.
1111
01:20:49,510 --> 01:20:51,137
It's more like a re-imagining .
1112
01:20:51,471 --> 01:20:53,264
Why do you always have to hurt my feelings?
1113
01:20:53,848 --> 01:20:57,060
I just want to be the big man
for once in my life.
1114
01:20:57,518 --> 01:21:00,271
You're always going to be my big man .
1115
01:21:01,439 --> 01:21:02,357
I love you.
1116
01:21:03,983 --> 01:21:04,901
I love you.
1117
01:21:10,490 --> 01:21:12,867
Hey Eugene! what are you doing here?
1118
01:21:13,284 --> 01:21:17,246
Actually, I 'm here
for Return to Nuke ' Em H igh volume 3.
1119
01:21:17,789 --> 01:21:18,873
Oh wow, that's cool!
1120
01:24:38,197 --> 01:24:40,741
Presidents don't get angry
they get diplomatic.
75419
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