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1
00:00:00,171 --> 00:00:01,001
PREVIOUSLY ON REAPER...
2
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,034
IS THIS A CARJACKING?
ARE YOU CARJACKING ME?
3
00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:03,674
I'M THE DEVIL.
4
00:00:03,674 --> 00:00:05,076
PARENTS SOLD MY SOUL
TO THE DEVIL.
5
00:00:05,076 --> 00:00:06,737
NOW I'M A BOUNTY HUNTER
FOR HELL.
6
00:00:06,737 --> 00:00:07,338
YOU GONNA TELL ANDI?
7
00:00:07,338 --> 00:00:10,541
NO, I'M NOT GONNA TELL ANDI.
IF SHE KNOWS,
SHE'LL THINK I'M A FREAK.
8
00:00:10,541 --> 00:00:11,542
SHE'LL NEVER
GO OUT WITH ME.
9
00:00:11,542 --> 00:00:13,384
WHATEVER, MAN.
SHE WAS ALL UP
IN YOUR GRILL PIECE,
10
00:00:13,384 --> 00:00:14,445
AND YOU TOLD HER
TO TAKE A HIKE.
11
00:00:14,445 --> 00:00:15,486
AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO CAPTURE HIM?
12
00:00:15,486 --> 00:00:18,219
Devil: THIS WILL HELP--
A VESSEL, HANDCRAFTED IN
THE BOWELS OF PERDITION
13
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,151
BY THE INIQUITOUS
AND THE VILE.
14
00:00:20,151 --> 00:00:23,154
YOU PUT A SOUL IN HELL.
HOW DOES THAT FEEL, HUH?
15
00:00:23,154 --> 00:00:25,356
THAT'S PURE,
UNADULTERATED SATISFACTION.
16
00:00:25,356 --> 00:00:29,100
ALL THE MONEY AND TAIL
IN THE WORLD CAN'T COMPARE.
17
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:31,802
[BECAUSE I'M AWESOME
BY THE DOLLYROTS PLAYING]
18
00:00:31,802 --> 00:00:35,035
♪ UH-HUH ♪
19
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,109
♪ YOU SAY I'M GIFTED... ♪
20
00:00:38,109 --> 00:00:40,111
[SIGHS]
21
00:00:40,111 --> 00:00:42,243
UNH!
22
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,477
[KEYS JINGLING]
23
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,220
[CAR ALARM BEEPS]
24
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:54,355
♪ I ALWAYS TELL YOU
HOW SMART YOU ARE ♪
25
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:54,785
WHAT?
26
00:00:54,785 --> 00:00:57,057
♪ IT'S 'CAUSE MY BRAIN
IS REALLY SUPER-SIZED ♪
27
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:01,732
♪ YOU'RE AN ACADEMIC
SUPERSTAR ♪
28
00:01:01,732 --> 00:01:03,164
WHA--
29
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:07,468
♪ I'M A LEADER,
I'M A WINNER ♪
30
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,400
MOM? DAD?
31
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,802
I NEED A RIDE!
32
00:01:16,147 --> 00:01:18,509
Sam: THANKS. [GRUNTS]
33
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,851
THAT'S 14 EVEN.
34
00:01:20,851 --> 00:01:23,514
OK.
35
00:01:27,218 --> 00:01:27,818
YOU BEING CUTE?
36
00:01:27,818 --> 00:01:32,493
UH, NO, I--
I SWEAR THE MONEY
WAS JUST IN MY HAND...
37
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:35,726
ALONG WITH MY WALLET.
38
00:01:35,726 --> 00:01:38,129
UM...
39
00:01:38,129 --> 00:01:41,202
BEN! HEY, WOULD YOU--
HOLD ON ONE SECOND, OK?
40
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,503
BEN! BEN, HEY.
41
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:43,604
DUDE, I NEED SOME CASH.
42
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:47,178
CAN I BORROW SOME, UH...
SOME...REALLY?
43
00:01:47,178 --> 00:01:50,581
WHAT ARE YOU D--
I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!
44
00:01:52,243 --> 00:01:55,115
SO, WHAT, JUST DISAPPEARED
OUT OF YOUR HAND?
45
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,848
YEAH, MONEY, WALLET, KEYS.
IT WAS NOT A GOOD MORNING.
46
00:01:57,848 --> 00:02:00,691
OH, WAIT.
ARE THESE YOURS?
47
00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:01,652
WHERE'D YOU FIND THOSE?
48
00:02:01,652 --> 00:02:03,794
THEY WERE IN MY POCKET
LIKE 20 MINUTES AGO.
49
00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:05,296
I HAVE NO IDEA
HOW IT GOT THERE.
50
00:02:05,296 --> 00:02:07,658
I DO. IT'S MY
DEVIL POWER KICKING IN.
51
00:02:07,658 --> 00:02:09,560
WAIT, TO MAKE STUFF
DISAPPEAR?
52
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,763
YEAH, IT'S SUPPOSED TO
POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION
OF AN ESCAPED SOUL FROM HELL
53
00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:14,565
SO I CAN HUNT THEM DOWN
AND SEND THEM BACK.
54
00:02:14,565 --> 00:02:17,468
HEY, HEY. GUYS.
LITTLE HELP?
55
00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:18,709
IT'S THE PAINT MIXER RODEO.
56
00:02:18,709 --> 00:02:22,643
THAT'S ONE ANGRY LOOKING BULL.
YOU SURE YOU'RE
READY FOR THIS?
57
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:23,774
[GRUNTING]
58
00:02:23,774 --> 00:02:26,547
THIS IS NOT MY FIRST TIME
AT THE RODEO, SON.
59
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:27,878
CLOCK READY.
60
00:02:27,878 --> 00:02:29,520
THANK YOU, BEN.
61
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,582
GUYS, READY?
62
00:02:35,586 --> 00:02:36,887
RELEASE THE BULL.
63
00:02:36,887 --> 00:02:38,529
OK! GAH!
64
00:02:38,529 --> 00:02:40,160
WHOA HO HO!
65
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,732
GRAVITY MY FOOT!
66
00:02:41,732 --> 00:02:42,733
Ben: WHOO HOO!
67
00:02:42,733 --> 00:02:44,435
YEE-HAW!
WHOO HOO!
68
00:02:44,435 --> 00:02:47,868
[ALL LAUGHING AND SHOUTING]
69
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,169
AAH!
70
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,801
WHOA.
71
00:02:50,801 --> 00:02:52,773
WHOA!
72
00:02:54,345 --> 00:02:56,307
AHH, HA HA HA.
73
00:02:56,307 --> 00:02:59,350
HA HA HA HA HA!
74
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,311
Sock: UH...
75
00:03:00,311 --> 00:03:03,284
OW, NOT THE CROTCH.
NOT THE CROTCH.
76
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,458
SAM...
77
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:09,590
HUH?
[SOCK CHUCKLES]
78
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,961
I FOUND YOUR WALLET.
79
00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:13,724
Sock: THAT IS AWESOME!
80
00:03:32,683 --> 00:03:34,315
HI, CAN I HELP YOU?
81
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,486
YEAH, HOW MUCH IS THIS?
82
00:03:35,486 --> 00:03:37,548
UM, LET ME SEE.
83
00:03:37,548 --> 00:03:38,719
AAH!
84
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,321
AAH! AAH!
85
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:43,394
WHA--[PANTING]
86
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,328
I'LL JUST ASK
SOMEONE ELSE.
87
00:03:48,799 --> 00:03:51,462
[PANTING]
88
00:03:51,862 --> 00:03:52,563
WAS THAT YOU?
89
00:03:52,563 --> 00:03:56,307
I JUST--THE DEVIL'S TOTALLY
MESSING WITH MY HEAD.
90
00:03:56,307 --> 00:03:57,908
HEH HEH.
YOU SEE THAT GUY?
91
00:03:57,908 --> 00:03:58,469
YEAH.
92
00:03:58,469 --> 00:04:00,571
I JUST HAD THIS
REALLY WEIRD VISION
THAT HE STABBED ME.
93
00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:03,974
I JUST HAD THIS
REALLY WEIRD CUPCAKE,
SO I GUESS WE'RE EVEN.
94
00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:05,616
UH, COME ON, LET'S GO.
95
00:04:05,616 --> 00:04:06,317
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
96
00:04:06,317 --> 00:04:08,919
NEW DEVIL BOX ARRIVED
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE BACK ROOM.
97
00:04:08,919 --> 00:04:09,980
SCARED THE CRAP
OUT OF BEN.
98
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,782
WHAT ABOUT ME? I JUST
THOUGHT I GOT STABBED.
99
00:04:11,782 --> 00:04:12,623
YOU KNOW HOW SCARY
THAT IS?
100
00:04:12,623 --> 00:04:14,855
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, HERE.
HOP ON. LET'S GO.
101
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,828
COME ON, PIGGYBACK.
IT'LL CHEER YOU UP.
LET'S GO.
102
00:04:17,828 --> 00:04:19,390
COME ON! COME ON!
103
00:04:19,390 --> 00:04:20,861
EH...NO. I'M GOOD.
104
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,263
YEAH, YOU'RE A LITTLE BIG
FOR THAT NOW, AREN'T YA?
105
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:27,498
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
I WOULD HAVE PIGGYBACKED
YOU RIGHT BACK THERE.
106
00:04:28,439 --> 00:04:30,270
Sock: I WONDER WHAT'S
IN THE BOX THIS TIME.
107
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,374
YOU KNOW, WE MIGHT
AS WELL JUST OPEN IT
AND GET IT OVER WITH.
108
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:36,307
[BOX SNARLS]
OOH!
OH!
109
00:04:36,307 --> 00:04:38,679
[RATTLES]
110
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:39,910
SAM, YOUR BOX
WAS MOVING.
111
00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:40,851
YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW.
112
00:04:40,851 --> 00:04:41,882
IT SOUNDS
LIKE IT'S ALIVE.
113
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,885
LIKE THERE'S A LITTLE TINY
DEMON MONSTER TRYING
TO SCRATCH ITS WAY OUT.
114
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,518
THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
CAN WE OPEN IT?
115
00:04:47,518 --> 00:04:48,619
Andi: HEY, GUYS.
116
00:04:48,619 --> 00:04:49,960
Sam: YEAH, YEAH, HI.
117
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,493
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU LOOK GUILTY.
118
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,326
NO GUILTIER THAN USUAL.
HEH HEH.
NO, NO.
119
00:04:55,326 --> 00:04:55,896
WHAT'S GOING ON?
120
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,368
I'M GOOD.
LISTEN, I NEED
TO TALK TO YOU.
121
00:04:57,368 --> 00:04:59,970
YEAH, YEAH, LET'S--
LET'S TAKE A WALK.
YOU WANNA--
122
00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:01,071
OK. YEAH, YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.
123
00:05:01,071 --> 00:05:04,875
UNIVERSITY OF IDAHO,
FLAMING LIPS CONCERT,
124
00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:06,507
THIS WEEKEND.
125
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,608
SOUNDS GREAT.
YOU GOING?
126
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,039
YEAH. MY COUSIN'S
A STUDENT THERE,
127
00:05:09,039 --> 00:05:10,841
SO HE SAID
HE CAN GET US TICKETS.
128
00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:12,413
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
129
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,515
US, AS IN ME?
130
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,916
YEAH!
OH, GOOD, YEAH.
131
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:16,487
YOU KNOW, ALL OF US.
132
00:05:16,487 --> 00:05:18,849
BEN, SOCK, JOSIE.
I MEAN, IT'S A 7-HOUR DRIVE,
133
00:05:18,849 --> 00:05:20,991
BUT WE CAN JUST
TAKE TURNS AT THE WHEEL.
134
00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:21,592
RIGHT.
135
00:05:21,592 --> 00:05:23,323
I GUESS, YOU KNOW,
WE NEED A PLACE
TO SPEND THE NIGHT.
136
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,956
UM, SOCK.
SOCK'S UNCLE HAS A VAN.
WE COULD CRASH THERE.
137
00:05:25,956 --> 00:05:26,897
PERFECT!
YEAH.
138
00:05:26,897 --> 00:05:29,760
OK, GREAT.
WE'LL JUST HAVE
A VAN SLUMBER PARTY THEN.
139
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,032
OH, BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW...
I SNORE.
140
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,935
EXTREMELY LOUD,
LIKE A 50-YEAR-OLD MAN.
141
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,767
HEH. NICE.
142
00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,038
HA HA.
IT'S REALLY ATTRACTIVE.
143
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,040
WELL, I MYSELF
AM A DROOLER, SO...
144
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,972
OH! FANTASTIC THEN.
PERFECT.
145
00:05:41,972 --> 00:05:44,715
I MEAN, THIS IS GONNA BE
SO MUCH FUN, RIGHT?
146
00:05:44,715 --> 00:05:47,077
I MEAN, JUST THE 5 OF US
GOING AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND.
147
00:05:47,077 --> 00:05:50,020
WE'LL HAVE BED HEAD
TOGETHER.
IT'S GONNA BE--
148
00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:51,782
MY OFFICE NOW.
149
00:05:51,782 --> 00:05:53,754
AND BRING THE MORONS.
150
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,727
UM...OK.
151
00:05:56,727 --> 00:05:57,958
[PEN CLICKING]
152
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:58,859
[EXHALES]
153
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,532
CAN YOU TELL ME
ABOUT THIS CAN
OF WASTED PAINT?
154
00:06:01,532 --> 00:06:03,464
IT'S LEAKING
ONTO YOUR DESK.
155
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,695
[GASPS]
156
00:06:04,695 --> 00:06:07,367
I FOUND 6 OTHERS
JUST LIKE IT
157
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,839
IN THE DUMPSTER.
158
00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,801
SEEMS THE RODEO
IS BACK IN TOWN.
159
00:06:10,801 --> 00:06:12,943
WHAT CAN I SAY, TED?
YOU CAN'T FENCE THIS COWBOY IN.
160
00:06:12,943 --> 00:06:17,147
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU HAVE JUST INCURRED
THE WRATH OF TED.
161
00:06:17,147 --> 00:06:19,049
HOLD ON A SECOND.
I WASN'T EVEN THERE.
162
00:06:19,049 --> 00:06:19,910
WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED?
163
00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:22,052
BECAUSE, ANDI,
IF YOU'RE NOT
PART OF THE SOLUTION,
164
00:06:22,052 --> 00:06:23,614
THEN YOU'RE
PART OF THE PROBLEM.
165
00:06:23,614 --> 00:06:27,818
THERE WILL BE
NO MORE TALKING OF
A SOCIAL NATURE AT WORK.
166
00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:29,420
ANY OF YOU.
167
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,722
WOW.
HOLD ON. WHY?
168
00:06:31,722 --> 00:06:32,523
WHY, SAM?
169
00:06:32,523 --> 00:06:35,796
BECAUSE THE WORKBENCH
IS MY WORLD,
170
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,929
AND I WILL NOT LET YOUR
CHAOS DESTROY THIS WORLD.
171
00:06:38,929 --> 00:06:41,632
SO THAT MEANS THERE WILL
BE NO MORE TALKING,
172
00:06:41,632 --> 00:06:43,874
CHIT-CHATTING,
AND/OR YARN SPINNING.
173
00:06:43,874 --> 00:06:47,478
I'M SORRY, TED.
I'M NOT FEELIN' THIS PLAN.
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
174
00:06:47,478 --> 00:06:49,910
OH, I GOT
WEEKEND SHIFTS,
175
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,082
NIGHT SHIFTS,
HOLIDAY HOURS.
176
00:06:52,082 --> 00:06:56,487
I HAVE THE POWER
TO DESTROY
YOUR SOCIAL LIVES
177
00:06:56,487 --> 00:07:00,491
UNTIL YOU BEG ME...
178
00:07:00,491 --> 00:07:02,152
TO FIRE YOU.
179
00:07:02,152 --> 00:07:04,595
SO GOOD DAY, SIR.
180
00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:06,957
YOU KNOW WHAT, SAM?
HUH?
181
00:07:06,957 --> 00:07:10,631
I THINK THAT I AM
OUTRAGED RIGHT NOW.
182
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,762
GOOD TO KNOW, YEAH.
183
00:07:11,762 --> 00:07:13,003
CAN YOU HELP ME, PLEASE?
184
00:07:13,003 --> 00:07:14,064
[WHIMPERS]
185
00:07:14,064 --> 00:07:15,536
I CA--I CAN'T, SAM.
186
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:16,907
I'M TOO DISGRUNTLED,
ALL RIGHT?
187
00:07:16,907 --> 00:07:19,940
I MEAN, GIVE ME A BREAK.
NO TALKING AT WORK?
188
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,514
I MEAN, WHAT'S NEXT?
TAKE AWAY THE AIR
THAT I BREATHE?
189
00:07:23,514 --> 00:07:27,618
TAKE AWAY THE BEER
THAT I'M ABOUT
TO DRINK ON MY BREAK?
190
00:07:27,618 --> 00:07:28,048
COME ON.
191
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,720
WHAT? YOU GOT BEER?
WHERE'D YOU GET BEER?
192
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,052
I ACTUALLY HIT
THE DIET ICED TEA BUTTON
THE VENDING MACHINE,
193
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,955
AND THIS JUST CAME OUT.
I THINK MAYBE
IT'S A SIGN.
194
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,957
WANT HALF?
YES, I WANT HALF.
195
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,029
YEAH?
I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW.
196
00:07:39,029 --> 00:07:40,030
HAVE A SEAT, BRO.
197
00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:41,131
YOU KNOW WHAT?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, MAN.
198
00:07:41,131 --> 00:07:43,664
IT'LL ALL BLOW OVER
IT'S TED. IT'S A CYCLE.
199
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:44,735
HE ALWAYS DOES THIS.
200
00:07:44,735 --> 00:07:45,235
I'M NOT LIKE YOU, MAN.
201
00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:46,897
I CAN'T JUST SIT BACK
AND LET TED
WALK ALL OVER ME.
202
00:07:46,897 --> 00:07:49,670
I DON'T--WHAT?
I DON'T LET TED
WALK ALL OVER ME.
203
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:50,571
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
204
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:53,544
SURE, YOU DO. AND IT'S
OK BECAUSE BETA MALES
ARE IN RIGHT NOW.
205
00:07:53,544 --> 00:07:54,645
OK? CHICKS DIG IT.
206
00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:55,776
GOOD TO KNOW.
GOOD TO KNOW.
207
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:59,149
I REFUSE TO ACCEPT
TED'S POWER OVER ME.
208
00:07:59,149 --> 00:08:00,981
WE HAVE RIGHTS, OK?
209
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,984
WE ARE NOT MACHINES.
WE ARE NOT ROBOTS.
210
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,857
BE COOLER
IF WE WERE ROBOTS.
211
00:08:06,857 --> 00:08:07,718
YEAH.
212
00:08:07,718 --> 00:08:09,489
YOU KNOW WHO I'D BE
IF I WAS A ROBOT?
213
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,792
WHO?
THE HOT CHICK
FROM TERMINATOR 3.
214
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,164
FIRST I WOULD
TEAR THIS BUILDING DOWN
BRICK BY BRICK,
215
00:08:14,164 --> 00:08:16,496
THEN I WOULD GO HOME,
LOCK MYSELF
IN THE BATHROOM,
216
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,098
AND STARE AT MY BOOBS
FOR AS LONG AS I WANTED.
217
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,970
YEAH.
WHICH WOULD
BE A LONG TIME.
218
00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:22,603
AND THEN TED WOULD HAVE
NO POWER OVER YOU.
219
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,104
TESTIFY.
220
00:08:30,641 --> 00:08:33,013
[CAN CLANKS]
221
00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:36,787
OH, SAM.
222
00:08:36,787 --> 00:08:39,019
LIFE'S TOO SHORT
TO DRINK DOMESTIC.
223
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,290
WHAT'S THAT?
224
00:08:40,290 --> 00:08:42,192
WHAT?
225
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,896
I COULD GO FOR ONE
OF THESE APPLES. YOU?
226
00:08:45,896 --> 00:08:46,897
[SIGHS]
227
00:08:46,897 --> 00:08:49,760
Sam: WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED HERE?
228
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,962
AHH?
229
00:08:54,164 --> 00:08:55,666
OH--OH, MY GOD.
230
00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:58,138
WE--WE NEED TO CALL
AN AMBULANCE.
231
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,141
NO, SAM. IT'S OK.
THERE'S NO POINT.
232
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,542
HE'S DEAD ALREADY.
233
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,175
YOU KNOW, ONE DAY
YOU'RE COMING HOME,
HAPPY AS A CLAM,
234
00:09:05,175 --> 00:09:08,218
AND THEN BOOM,
YOU'RE GONE.
235
00:09:08,218 --> 00:09:09,950
THAT'S THE WAY
LIFE IS SAM.
236
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,122
YOU'VE GOT TO EAT YOUR
APPLES WHILE YOU CAN.
237
00:09:12,122 --> 00:09:14,324
SO, LET ME GUESS,
AN ESCAPED SOUL
FROM HELL DID THIS.
238
00:09:14,324 --> 00:09:17,287
THAT'S VERY GOOD.
YOU'RE STARTING
TO CATCH ON TO THIS.
239
00:09:17,287 --> 00:09:18,929
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
THE FUNNY THING IS?
240
00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:23,063
THE CORONER'S GONNA
BLAME THIS GUY'S DEATH
ON THE CAR CRASH.
241
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,595
THE TRUTH?
242
00:09:24,595 --> 00:09:28,068
THIS FELLOW DIED
WHILE THE CAR
WAS STILL MOVING.
243
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,840
HOW?
244
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:30,941
WHO KNOWS?
245
00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:34,705
IT'S LIKE...MAGIC.
246
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,947
OK, SO WHERE'S THE SOUL?
247
00:09:36,947 --> 00:09:37,708
I'M NOT GOOGLE, SAM.
248
00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:40,150
WELL, DON'T YOU HAVE
MINIONS DOWN IN HELL
KEEP TRACK OF THESE THINGS,
249
00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:42,613
LIKE WHO'S ESCAPED RECENTLY?
I DON'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
COME ON.
250
00:09:42,613 --> 00:09:45,155
MINIONS. YOU KNOW
WHO WORKS FOR ME
IN MY CENTRAL OFFICE?
251
00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:46,717
WHITE-COLLAR CRIMINALS.
252
00:09:46,717 --> 00:09:48,719
THEY HATE ME.
THEY HATE THEIR JOBS.
253
00:09:48,719 --> 00:09:51,321
I'M LUCKY IF I GET
COFFEE IN THE MORNING.
254
00:09:51,321 --> 00:09:53,593
[SCOFFS]
255
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,925
OH...
256
00:09:54,925 --> 00:09:56,066
OK.
257
00:09:56,066 --> 00:09:57,127
I'LL HELP YOU.
258
00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:59,199
I REMEMBER THE FILE.
259
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:02,903
IN LIFE, THE SOUL'S
NAME WAS BELLIFIORE.
260
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,675
THAT'S IT?
261
00:10:04,675 --> 00:10:07,037
THAT--THAT'S NOT GONNA
HELP ME FIND HIM NOW.
262
00:10:07,037 --> 00:10:07,708
THIS COULD TAKE FOREVER.
263
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,240
WELL, SINCE WHEN
ARE YOU IN SUCH A HURRY
TO CATCH SOULS FOR ME?
264
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,013
BECAUSE I--I CARE
ABOUT THESE PEOPLE.
265
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,044
I MEAN,
LOOK AT THIS GUY.
266
00:10:14,044 --> 00:10:17,648
ARE YOU SURE
IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU
HAVE SOME OTHER PLANS?
267
00:10:17,648 --> 00:10:19,019
PLANS TO...
268
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,251
LOCK LIPS
WITH SOMEBODY?
269
00:10:21,251 --> 00:10:22,953
FLAMING LIPS?
270
00:10:22,953 --> 00:10:24,154
LOOK, LOOK, I JUST--
271
00:10:24,154 --> 00:10:26,096
THE CONCERT ISN'T
UNTIL THIS WEEKEND, OK?
272
00:10:26,096 --> 00:10:29,099
AND I JUST--I FIGURED
IF I COULD TAKE
THE SOUL DOWN FAST,
273
00:10:29,099 --> 00:10:30,400
THEN I COULD STILL GO,
YOU KNOW?
274
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,102
A LITTLE VACATION
FOR A JOB WELL DONE.
275
00:10:32,102 --> 00:10:34,905
AH. WELL,
HERE'S THE THING
ABOUT THAT, SAMMY.
276
00:10:34,905 --> 00:10:38,008
WHEN YOUR PARENTS
SIGNED THE CONTRACT
FOR YOUR SOUL,
277
00:10:38,008 --> 00:10:40,370
THEY DIDN'T THINK TO ASK
ABOUT VACATION DAYS,
278
00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:41,271
SO YOU DON'T GET THEM.
279
00:10:41,271 --> 00:10:43,974
SO THAT'S IT?
I WORK FOR YOU
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?
280
00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:44,875
NO VACATION, NOTHING?
281
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:48,278
YEAH. AND I'M AFRAID
I WON'T BUDGE ON THIS.
282
00:10:48,278 --> 00:10:49,950
SETS A BAD PRECEDENT.
283
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,752
GOD, YOU SOUND LIKE TED.
284
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,054
OHH, THAT WAS HARSH.
285
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,886
TED IS A REAL
DOUCHE BAG.
286
00:10:55,886 --> 00:10:57,427
YEAH, WELL,
THE TRUTH HURTS.
287
00:10:57,427 --> 00:10:58,929
YOU PUSH ME AROUND,
YOU KNOW.
288
00:10:58,929 --> 00:11:01,361
YOU MAKE UP THESE
TOTALLY ARBITRARY RULES
289
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,134
AND EXPECT ME TO JUST
BE YOUR LITTLE ROBOT?
290
00:11:04,134 --> 00:11:05,065
NO! I'M SORRY, OK?
291
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,938
I REFUSE
TO ACCEPT YOUR POWER
OVER ME, ALL RIGHT?
292
00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:09,970
I'M NOT YOUR MACHINE.
293
00:11:12,843 --> 00:11:15,045
[TRUCK HORN HONKS]
294
00:11:24,214 --> 00:11:26,056
[GRUNTS]
295
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,792
I TRUST
I'VE MADE MY POINT.
296
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,825
LOUD AND CLEAR.
297
00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,727
HEH.
298
00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:49,940
[BOX SHUDDERS]
299
00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:50,941
WHAT IS IN
THAT THING?
300
00:11:50,941 --> 00:11:53,113
Sam: WHATEVER IT IS,
IT WAS FORGED IN HELL.
301
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:57,017
SOCK, YOU REALLY THINK
THAT'S GONNA HELP YOU
SLOW IT DOWN?
302
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,119
BEN, YOU WANT TO TRADE?
NO.
303
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,891
[BOX SHUDDERS]
304
00:12:00,891 --> 00:12:02,893
[WHISPERS] OK.
305
00:12:04,354 --> 00:12:05,195
I'M GOING IN.
306
00:12:05,195 --> 00:12:07,027
[SOCK WHISPERING]
All right, get it.
307
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,428
I'M GOING IN.
Ben: NICE AND EASY.
308
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:12,102
I'M GONNA DO IT.
NICE AND EASY.
309
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:16,006
[BOX RATTLING]
310
00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:23,914
[COOING]
311
00:12:25,015 --> 00:12:26,416
AW.
312
00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:28,148
HE'S CUTE!
313
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,419
[COOING]
314
00:12:29,419 --> 00:12:30,750
HEH!
315
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,822
HEY.
316
00:12:31,822 --> 00:12:33,223
Sock: AW, PRETTY BIRD.
317
00:12:33,223 --> 00:12:35,285
ALL RIGHT, SO WE HAVE
THE VESSEL,
318
00:12:35,285 --> 00:12:36,927
BUT ALL WE KNOW
ABOUT THE SOUL
319
00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:39,229
IS THAT HIS NAME
WAS BELLIFIORE...
320
00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:42,062
WHEN HE WAS ALIVE. OK.
321
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,363
812 HITS? HA HA!
322
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,866
ALL RIGHT, WE GOTTA
NARROW THIS DOWN A LITTLE.
323
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,097
MM-HMM. HOW?
324
00:12:47,097 --> 00:12:50,240
BELLIFIORE, SOUL.
325
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,942
NOPE. OK.
326
00:12:51,942 --> 00:12:53,343
BELLIFIORE, EVIL.
327
00:12:53,343 --> 00:12:55,075
PLUS EVIL.
328
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,907
SOCK...
329
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:58,809
NOW THE MOUSE
HAS DISAPPEARED!
330
00:12:58,809 --> 00:13:01,781
I SWEAR, THE DEVIL
DOESN'T EVEN WANT ME
TO SOLVE THIS.
331
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,413
GUYS?
Ted: SAM?
332
00:13:03,413 --> 00:13:06,056
DO I HEAR UNAUTHORIZED
CHIT-CHAT?
333
00:13:06,056 --> 00:13:07,287
UH...UH-UH.
334
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:11,121
WHAT, ARE YOU TALKING
TO YOURSELF AGAIN, SAM?
335
00:13:11,461 --> 00:13:14,825
THAT IS A SAD, SAD
STATE OF AFFAIRS, MY FRIEND.
336
00:13:14,825 --> 00:13:17,427
BECAUSE NO ONE ANSWERS.
337
00:13:17,427 --> 00:13:19,299
EVER.
338
00:13:22,032 --> 00:13:24,034
AS YOU WERE.
339
00:13:25,976 --> 00:13:28,478
GOD, I THOUGHT YOU GUYS
DISAPPEARED, TOO.
340
00:13:28,478 --> 00:13:30,040
AH.
341
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,811
THIS POWER'S STUPID, SAM.
342
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,185
IF MAKING THINGS DISAPPEAR
IS SUPPOSED TO BE A CLUE,
343
00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:36,516
I DON'T GET IT.
344
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,348
WAIT, WAIT, THAT'S GOOD!
345
00:13:38,348 --> 00:13:40,250
DISAPPEAR. HOLD ON.
346
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:42,352
BELLIFIORE, DISAPPEAR.
347
00:13:42,352 --> 00:13:44,294
YES! ALL RIGHT.
GOOD JOB.
348
00:13:44,294 --> 00:13:47,427
ENRICO BELLIFIORE
WAS A MAGICIAN
IN THE 1920s.
349
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:47,998
NEVER HEAD OF HIM.
350
00:13:47,998 --> 00:13:52,262
HE'S FEATURED
ON A DOCUMENTARY DVD
DARK SIDE OF MAGIC.
351
00:13:52,262 --> 00:13:55,535
LET'S FIND THAT.
MAYBE...COME ON.
352
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,107
THERE'S 2 COPIES
IN STORE RIGHT NOW.
353
00:13:57,107 --> 00:14:00,840
MM. GOD BLESS YOU,
WORKBENCH.
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING.
354
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,842
Sam: AWESOME.
355
00:14:06,516 --> 00:14:07,617
HOW MUCH
FOR THE FLAT SCREEN?
356
00:14:07,617 --> 00:14:10,981
UH, A MILLION DOLLARS.
TRY BEST BUY.
357
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,024
Narrator: DATELINE 1929.
358
00:14:14,024 --> 00:14:16,426
FORMER STAGE MAGICIAN
ENRICO BELLIFIORE
359
00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:18,058
WALKS THE LAST MILE
FOR MURDER.
360
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:21,531
A YOUNG WAITER
WITH DREAMS OF BECOMING
THE NEXT HOUDINI,
361
00:14:21,531 --> 00:14:24,294
BELLIFIORE TRADED IN
HIS BREADSTICKS
362
00:14:24,294 --> 00:14:26,036
FOR MAGIC TRICKS.
363
00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:27,067
THE UNADORING MASSES
364
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,569
FELT BELLIFIORE NEEDED
TO SHARPEN HIS SKILLS.
365
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,202
WHAT? I SAW WIRES.
DID YOU GUYS SEE WIRES?
366
00:14:32,202 --> 00:14:33,273
Ben: YEAH.
367
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,104
AND SO DID THE THEATER,
368
00:14:34,104 --> 00:14:35,445
SO BELLIFIORE TOOK
ONE LAST STAB AT FAME,
369
00:14:35,445 --> 00:14:40,210
AND THE CROWDS
LINED UP TO SEE
THIS MALEVOLENT MAGICIAN
370
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:42,382
PERFORM HIS FINAL
ROPE TRICK.
371
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,255
AND THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER
EDITION OF MOVIE-VUE NEWS.
372
00:14:45,255 --> 00:14:47,117
OK. ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S NEWS WITH A VIEW!
373
00:14:47,117 --> 00:14:49,289
NOW WE KNOW
WHO BELLIFIORE WAS
WHEN HE WAS ALIVE.
374
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,461
WE JUST NEED TO FIGURE
OUT WHERE HE IS NOW.
375
00:14:51,461 --> 00:14:51,992
YEAH.
376
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,294
Andi on P.A.: SAM OLIVER
FOR CARRY OUT, REGISTER 2.
377
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,396
SAM OLIVER, REGISTER 2.
THAT'S ANDI.
378
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,128
YOU GONNA TELL HER
YOU CAN'T GO TO THE CONCERT?
379
00:14:58,128 --> 00:14:59,269
DON'T REALLY
HAVE A CHOICE.
380
00:14:59,269 --> 00:15:01,101
THE DEVIL MADE IT
PRETTY CLEAR.
381
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:01,501
YEAH.
382
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,004
Andi: I NEED TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE CONCERT.
383
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,106
OH, YEAH. I...
384
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,037
I COULD ONLY GET
2 TICKETS.
385
00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:10,110
OH, WELL, THEN JUST--
UH, MAYBE GO WITH JOSIE.
386
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:14,184
WELL, I MEAN,
IN ALL FAIRNESS,
I DID ASK YOU FIRST.
387
00:15:14,184 --> 00:15:16,216
YOU'RE--WAIT, YEAH.
388
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,019
BUT, WHAT, SO JUST
YOU AND ME TOGETHER?
389
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:22,552
YEAH.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
390
00:15:23,293 --> 00:15:26,256
WELL, WHERE WOULD--
WHERE WOULD WE SLEEP?
391
00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:27,257
MY CAR.
392
00:15:27,257 --> 00:15:28,598
IT'LL BE TIGHT, BUT...
393
00:15:28,598 --> 00:15:30,660
WELL, I MEAN,
IF YOU'RE NOT UP FOR IT,
394
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:32,002
THEN I COMPLETELY
UNDERSTAND.
395
00:15:32,002 --> 00:15:34,965
NO, NO, NO! I'M UP FOR IT!
I'M COMPLETELY UP FOR IT.
396
00:15:34,965 --> 00:15:36,666
VERY, VERY UP. I--
397
00:15:36,666 --> 00:15:37,607
WELL, GREAT.
398
00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:40,410
ALL RIGHT, YEAH.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
399
00:15:40,971 --> 00:15:42,112
AHEM.
400
00:15:42,112 --> 00:15:43,643
OH. YOU GOT IT
FROM HERE?
401
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,145
OH. YES, YES.
402
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,076
SAM!
403
00:15:46,076 --> 00:15:48,718
SORRY. I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
404
00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:52,082
AHH.
405
00:15:52,082 --> 00:15:52,582
[GIGGLES]
406
00:15:52,582 --> 00:15:55,255
Woman: NORA,
DON'T THROW FOOD.
407
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,156
HEH HEH.
408
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:59,329
IT'S OK.
IT--IT HAPPENS.
409
00:15:59,329 --> 00:15:59,990
UH...
410
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:04,694
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
WHERE--WHERE DID YOU
FIND ALL THESE APPLES?
411
00:16:05,335 --> 00:16:06,436
Ben: I'M CONFUSED.
412
00:16:06,436 --> 00:16:09,599
YOU AND ANDI ARE GOING TO
THE CONCERT ALONE OVERNIGHT.
413
00:16:09,599 --> 00:16:10,340
THAT'S RIGHT.
414
00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:12,572
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE DEVIL
SAYING NO VACATION TIME?
415
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,605
BEN, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
ME AND ANDI ALONE OVERNIGHT.
416
00:16:15,605 --> 00:16:18,078
COME ON, THIS IS MY SHOT.
I HAVE TO TAKE IT.
417
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,479
OK, BUT WHAT ABOUT
THE DEVIL?
418
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,183
I'M CHOOSING TO NOT
THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.
419
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,514
OH, REALLY.
420
00:16:24,514 --> 00:16:27,717
HEY, LOOK AT THAT SWORD.
THAT'S GOT TO BE OUR GUY.
421
00:16:27,717 --> 00:16:28,458
Sock: HMM.
422
00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:30,160
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IF
WE CATCH HIM FAST,
423
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,991
THE DEVIL MIGHT LET ME
GO TO THE CONCERT WITH ANDI.
424
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,393
YEAH, 'CAUSE HE'S
A REAL PEACH LIKE THAT.
425
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:37,427
SO THEN WE POINT
THE BIRDCAGE AT THE SOUL
AND OPEN THE DOOR.
426
00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:37,997
I GUESS.
427
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,569
NOT LIKE THERE'S ANY
MOVING PARTS.
428
00:16:39,569 --> 00:16:41,031
WHEN DOES THE BIRD
COME IN?
429
00:16:41,031 --> 00:16:41,731
MAYBE HE'S BAIT.
430
00:16:41,731 --> 00:16:45,135
WAIT, I'M SORRY, BAIT?
NOBODY'S HURTING WINSTON.
431
00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:46,406
WHO'S WINSTON?
432
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:47,477
THE BIRD.
433
00:16:47,477 --> 00:16:50,110
YOU NAMED
THE VESSEL?
434
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,642
DUDE, WINSTON IS NOT
A BIRD'S NAME, BEN.
435
00:16:52,642 --> 00:16:55,215
OK, WELL,
YOU TELL ME WHAT
A BIRD'S NAME IS.
436
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:58,318
I DON'T KNOW.
UH, HOW ABOUT FLAPPY OR PAUL.
437
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,091
WHA--NO, NO,
HE'S A WINSTON.
438
00:17:01,091 --> 00:17:02,122
RIGHT, WINSTON?
439
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,423
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU?
440
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,494
MY DAD'S SUPER ALLERGIC.
441
00:17:04,494 --> 00:17:06,426
YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T
HAVE ANY PETS,
442
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,428
SO THIS LITTLE GUY
FILLS THAT VOID.
443
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:11,601
YOU SAID I FILLED
THAT VOID, BEN.
444
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:15,034
[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]
445
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,407
Sock: OH, MY GOD.
LOOK AT THIS TOOLBOX.
446
00:17:17,407 --> 00:17:20,110
IS THAT ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS SLAP ON
A LITTLE GUYLINER,
447
00:17:20,110 --> 00:17:22,142
I GET TO SHOWER
WITH CAMERON DIAZ?
448
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,173
UH, PROBABLY NOT.
449
00:17:23,173 --> 00:17:23,813
WELL, IT'S HER LOSS.
450
00:17:23,813 --> 00:17:25,645
Ben: SHE WOULDN'T THINK SO.
451
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,618
[SOCK WHISPERING]
Sorry, sorry.
452
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:36,226
Sam: OHH.
453
00:17:36,226 --> 00:17:37,787
HOW'S HE DO THAT
WITH THE SWORD?
454
00:17:37,787 --> 00:17:40,830
HE'S AN ESCAPED SOUL.
IT COULD BE REAL MAGIC.
455
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:43,393
YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE
SOME REAL MAGIC?
456
00:17:43,393 --> 00:17:45,635
CHECK THIS OUT.
457
00:17:47,637 --> 00:17:49,269
IT'S GONE.
458
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,171
WHERE'D IT GO?
459
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,103
[WHISPERS] Wow.
460
00:17:53,443 --> 00:17:55,145
WHAT ARE WE
WAITING FOR?
461
00:17:55,145 --> 00:17:56,776
WE CAN'T
JUST SUCK HIM IN
462
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,108
WITH ALL THESE
PEOPLE ROUND.
463
00:17:58,108 --> 00:18:00,580
LET'S JUST CATCH HIM
AFTER THE SHOW.
464
00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:05,655
[APPLAUSE]
465
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,087
SO THAT'S IT?
466
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,191
WHAT, NO CHEERING?
NO STANDING OVATION?
467
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,663
HEH.
468
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,426
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
469
00:18:16,426 --> 00:18:19,098
I PERFORM MAGIC
NO ONE ELSE CAN TOUCH,
470
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,131
AND ALL YOU DO
IS JUST SIT THERE.
471
00:18:21,131 --> 00:18:23,503
WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT?
472
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,505
MAYBE YOU NEED PROOF--
473
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,178
PROOF THAT I'M THE GREATEST
MAGICIAN IN THE WORLD.
474
00:18:28,178 --> 00:18:30,140
WHAT'S THE MATTER, MATE?
475
00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:31,811
DON'T YOU LIKE MY SHOW?
476
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,483
I'M JUST HEADED
TO THE RESTROOM.
477
00:18:33,483 --> 00:18:35,545
AND THAT'S BETTER
THAN MY ACT?
478
00:18:35,545 --> 00:18:38,418
YOU'RE A MAGICIAN
AT A FOOD FESTIVAL.
479
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,649
WHAT--WHAT DO YOU WANT
FROM ME?
480
00:18:39,649 --> 00:18:41,751
COME ON, WHY DON'T
YOU GET UP ON STAGE
481
00:18:41,751 --> 00:18:43,793
FOR A TRICK GUARANTEED
TO IMPRESS YOU?
482
00:18:43,793 --> 00:18:44,524
TO IMPRESS ALL OF YOU?
483
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:48,198
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
A ROUND OF APPLAUSE
TO ENCOURAGE THIS GUY.
484
00:18:48,198 --> 00:18:49,659
COME ON, COME ON.
485
00:18:49,659 --> 00:18:50,830
[WHISTLING]
486
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,403
IS THIS A REAL SWORD?
487
00:18:55,765 --> 00:18:57,907
Man: IT'S REAL.
488
00:18:57,907 --> 00:19:01,211
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
489
00:19:02,372 --> 00:19:03,343
UNH!
490
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,315
OH!
OH!
491
00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:07,517
[GRUNTING]
492
00:19:08,918 --> 00:19:12,452
[APPLAUSE]
493
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,589
YOU GOTTA ADMIT THAT WAS
A PRETTY GOOD TRICK.
494
00:19:19,589 --> 00:19:21,331
Sam: LET'S CATCH HIM
BACKSTAGE.
495
00:19:21,331 --> 00:19:22,932
YEAH, YEAH.
I WANT AN AUTOGRAPH.
496
00:19:22,932 --> 00:19:26,236
HEY, I WAITED
OUT FRONT TILL
THE LOBBY WAS EMPTY.
497
00:19:26,236 --> 00:19:26,866
NO SIGN OF HIM.
498
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,898
YEAH, AND HE DIDN'T
PASS ME OUT BACK.
499
00:19:28,898 --> 00:19:32,702
DAMN IT, WE LOST HIM.
[SIGHS]
500
00:19:33,803 --> 00:19:36,246
Sam: ALL RIGHT, IT SUCKS
THE SOUL GOT AWAY,
501
00:19:36,246 --> 00:19:37,347
BUT AT LEAST
NOBODY DIED, RIGHT?
502
00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,649
Ben: YEAH,
AND NOTHING HAPPENED
TO WINSTON.
503
00:19:39,649 --> 00:19:40,680
AND NOBODY DIED, TOO.
504
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,182
Sam: WHOA.
Sock: WHOA, WHAT HAPPENED?
505
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,183
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
506
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,616
EXCUSE ME.
UH, WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?
507
00:19:46,616 --> 00:19:48,718
Paramedic: OH,
WE FOUND HIM KEELED OVER,
508
00:19:48,718 --> 00:19:50,620
MASSIVE INTERNAL INJURIES.
509
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:53,823
MUST HAVE BEEN
HIT BY A CAR OR SOMETHING.
510
00:20:12,482 --> 00:20:13,483
ANOTHER BEER, PLEASE.
511
00:20:13,483 --> 00:20:15,985
YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN
A DEAD BODY UP CLOSE BEFORE.
512
00:20:15,985 --> 00:20:17,947
IT'S MESSED UP.
513
00:20:17,947 --> 00:20:18,488
I KNOW, RIGHT?
514
00:20:18,488 --> 00:20:21,591
I MEAN YOU'D THINK
THAT SEEING SCARFACE
ALL THOSE TIMES,
515
00:20:21,591 --> 00:20:23,653
I'D BE BETTER PREPARED
FOR THAT, BUT...
516
00:20:23,653 --> 00:20:25,625
WHY'D THE MAGICIAN
KILL THAT GUY?
517
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,557
I DON'T KNOW.
I FEEL LIKE
HE HATES THE AUDIENCE.
518
00:20:27,557 --> 00:20:30,860
LIKE HE BLAMES THEM
FOR HIS CRAPPY CAREER
WHEN HE WAS ALIVE.
519
00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:34,003
WELL, AT LEAST WE KNOW
WHERE HE'S GONNA BE.
520
00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:36,336
THE NEXT PERFORMANCE
IS TOMORROW AT NOON,
521
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,908
WHICH MEANS WE NEED
TO ASK TED FOR TIME OFF.
522
00:20:38,908 --> 00:20:40,440
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NOTHING.
523
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,572
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NOTHING!
524
00:20:42,572 --> 00:20:44,744
LET ME...
525
00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:46,616
YOU NEED HELP.
526
00:20:46,616 --> 00:20:48,318
I'M WORRIED ABOUT WINSTON.
527
00:20:48,318 --> 00:20:49,919
HE'S INNOCENT IN ALL THIS.
528
00:20:49,919 --> 00:20:50,920
WHAT ABOUT ME, MAN?
I'M AN INNOCENT.
529
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,023
YOU'RE NOT FEEDING ME
PRETZELS AND NESTLING ME
TO YOUR BREAST.
530
00:20:54,023 --> 00:20:54,984
OK, THAT'S JUST GROSS.
531
00:20:54,984 --> 00:20:57,757
BECAUSE
YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT
WITH THE DEVIL, SAM.
532
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,259
NO, I DID NOT.
YOU DIDN'T SIGN ANYTHING?
533
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,961
NO. NO, MY PARENTS DID.
534
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:02,532
THAT'S WEIRD.
535
00:21:02,532 --> 00:21:04,694
SAYS THE GUY
WITH THE SHIRT FULL OF BIRD.
536
00:21:04,694 --> 00:21:07,297
DUDE, YOU SHOULD
REALLY TAKE A LOOK
AT THAT CONTRACT.
537
00:21:07,297 --> 00:21:09,569
THAT'S NOT COOL
YOUR PARENTS SOLD YOUR SOUL
538
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:10,970
TO THE DEVIL
WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.
539
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:13,873
ISN'T THAT RIGHT,
LITTLE MAN?
540
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,945
Sam: YEAH,
THAT'S A GOOD POINT.
541
00:21:15,945 --> 00:21:20,650
SEE IF MY PARENTS
HAVE A COPY OF
THE CONTRACT SOMEWHERE.
542
00:21:21,311 --> 00:21:23,853
HEY, GOOD MORNING.
YOU'RE UP EARLY.
543
00:21:23,853 --> 00:21:25,815
YEAH. HEY.
544
00:21:25,815 --> 00:21:27,987
UM...
545
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,990
CAN I SEE MY CONTRACT?
546
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,962
WHICH CONTRACT IS THAT?
547
00:21:32,962 --> 00:21:35,425
UH...IT'S...
548
00:21:35,425 --> 00:21:37,066
THE CONTRACT.
549
00:21:37,066 --> 00:21:40,900
YOU KNOW,
FOR MY SOUL?
550
00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:43,503
WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO SEE THAT FOR?
551
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:46,536
WELL, I JUST THOUGHT
I SHOULD SEE IT.
552
00:21:46,536 --> 00:21:47,907
YOU KNOW WHAT?
553
00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,839
YOU'RE RIGHT.
554
00:21:49,839 --> 00:21:51,941
YOU DESERVE TO SEE IT.
555
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,644
OK, UH, LET ME THINK.
556
00:21:54,644 --> 00:21:56,486
WHERE DID WE PUT THAT?
557
00:21:56,486 --> 00:21:58,388
Sam: WELL,
WHAT'S IN THERE?
558
00:21:58,388 --> 00:22:00,990
THIS IS YOUR
MEMENTO BOX.
559
00:22:00,990 --> 00:22:05,955
I HAVEN'T LOOKED
IN HERE IN YEARS.
560
00:22:05,955 --> 00:22:07,697
HEH HEH.
561
00:22:07,697 --> 00:22:09,899
YOU PUT THE CONTRACT
FOR MY SOUL
562
00:22:09,899 --> 00:22:14,404
WITH MY THIRD-GRADE
REPORT CARD
AND MR. HUGGLES?
563
00:22:14,404 --> 00:22:15,835
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
564
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,367
IT'S NOT GONNA BE IN HERE.
565
00:22:17,367 --> 00:22:21,040
OK, MAYBE YOUR DAD
KNOWS WHERE IT IS.
566
00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:26,015
[CELL PHONE DIALING]
567
00:22:26,015 --> 00:22:27,076
OH. WELL, UH...
568
00:22:27,076 --> 00:22:29,348
DID YOU CHECK
THE LINEN CLOSET?
569
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:30,420
YES. JOHN, YOU KNOW,
570
00:22:30,420 --> 00:22:33,823
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU CAN'T GET
A HANDLE ON THE PAPERWORK.
571
00:22:33,823 --> 00:22:35,455
WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO
FILING SYSTEM.
572
00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:37,627
YOU KEEP YOUR GOLF CLEATS
AND TENNIS SHOES...
573
00:22:37,627 --> 00:22:38,728
YOU'RE UP, JOHN.
574
00:22:38,728 --> 00:22:40,960
CAN WE TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER?
575
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:41,931
FINE.
576
00:22:41,931 --> 00:22:44,534
BUT THAT'S YOUR ANSWER
TO EVERYTHING.
577
00:22:44,534 --> 00:22:45,935
JUST...UH...
578
00:22:45,935 --> 00:22:48,938
CHECK THE OFFICE
WITH THE TAX RETURNS.
579
00:22:48,938 --> 00:22:50,470
OK.
580
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,542
COME ON, SAM.
581
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:01,050
OH! AHA. HERE IT IS.
582
00:23:02,982 --> 00:23:04,514
[EXHALES] WOW.
583
00:23:04,514 --> 00:23:06,986
THIS IS KIND OF
A BIG DEAL.
584
00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:09,018
I KNOW.
585
00:23:13,963 --> 00:23:15,965
WHAT'S WRONG?
586
00:23:17,026 --> 00:23:18,868
WELL...
587
00:23:25,475 --> 00:23:28,638
IT FELL APART.
588
00:23:28,638 --> 00:23:31,481
UH...
589
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:36,746
DON'T DISAPPEAR.
590
00:23:36,746 --> 00:23:38,147
DON'T DISAPPEAR.
591
00:23:38,147 --> 00:23:41,020
DON'T DISAPPEAR.
592
00:23:43,893 --> 00:23:46,125
[SCREAMS]
593
00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:48,057
SON OF A BITCH!
594
00:23:48,057 --> 00:23:50,059
AAH!
595
00:23:50,059 --> 00:23:52,061
[EXHALES]
596
00:23:58,007 --> 00:24:00,910
[CAR ENGINE REVVING]
597
00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:10,019
[ENGINE REVS]
598
00:24:10,019 --> 00:24:11,581
Devil: HEY,
YOU WANT A RIDE?
599
00:24:11,581 --> 00:24:14,624
OH, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
600
00:24:14,624 --> 00:24:15,855
AW, COME ON. HOP IN.
601
00:24:15,855 --> 00:24:17,657
I WANT YOU TO FEEL
THE V8 IN THIS BABY.
602
00:24:17,657 --> 00:24:19,128
YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA WANT IN RETURN?
603
00:24:19,128 --> 00:24:20,860
DO I HAVE TO SIGN
A CONTRACT?
604
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:21,961
HEH HEH. YOU KNOW, SAM...
605
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:24,934
SARCASM IS THE LOWEST FORM
OF SOCIAL DISCOURSE.
606
00:24:24,934 --> 00:24:28,137
JUST GO--GO AWAY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
607
00:24:28,137 --> 00:24:29,739
WHAT'S EATING YOU,
CHAMP?
608
00:24:29,739 --> 00:24:31,971
HOW ABOUT YOU--
YOU OWN MY SOUL?
609
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,503
YOU WON'T LET ME
TAKE ANY VACATIONS.
610
00:24:33,503 --> 00:24:37,076
I MEAN, THE CONTRACT
YOU GAVE MY PARENTS
JUST TURNED TO DUST!
611
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:38,207
FORGET ABOUT
THE CONTRACT.
612
00:24:38,207 --> 00:24:40,580
NO. NO, I WANT TO SEE IT.
613
00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:41,080
BUT WHY?
614
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,583
BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW
MY RIGHTS.
615
00:24:43,583 --> 00:24:46,956
OH, THAT'S EASY.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY.
616
00:24:47,957 --> 00:24:49,959
[CAR HORN HONKS]
617
00:24:49,959 --> 00:24:52,121
GO AROUND!
[HORN HONKS]
618
00:24:53,593 --> 00:24:55,665
Man: GO TO HELL, JERK!
619
00:24:55,665 --> 00:24:58,868
I'LL MEET YOU THERE,
BRUCE!
620
00:24:58,868 --> 00:25:02,131
HEH. YOU KNOW THAT
LITTLE THING ON HIS NECK?
621
00:25:02,131 --> 00:25:04,073
NOT A FRECKLE.
622
00:25:04,073 --> 00:25:05,204
OK...
623
00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:06,806
SO I'M--I'M A SLAVE.
624
00:25:06,806 --> 00:25:09,278
AND I CATCH ONE SOUL
AFTER ANOTHER
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
625
00:25:09,278 --> 00:25:11,641
NO DAYS OFF.
NOTHING TO LOOK
FORWARD TO FOREVER.
626
00:25:11,641 --> 00:25:14,183
OH, SO THAT'S WHAT
YOU WANT--INCENTIVE.
627
00:25:14,183 --> 00:25:16,285
YES.
OH, I CAN DO THAT.
628
00:25:16,285 --> 00:25:18,848
I CAN MOTIVATE YOU 110%.
629
00:25:18,848 --> 00:25:19,689
[TIRES SQUEAL]
630
00:25:19,689 --> 00:25:23,723
WAIT, NO! WHAT--
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?!
631
00:25:33,733 --> 00:25:35,835
HEY!
CAN I HELP YOU?
632
00:25:35,835 --> 00:25:37,837
NO.
633
00:25:37,837 --> 00:25:39,969
HI! CAN I HELP YOU?
634
00:25:39,969 --> 00:25:42,011
NO.
635
00:25:45,014 --> 00:25:48,317
HI, I'M ANDI.
CAN I HELP YOU?
636
00:25:49,879 --> 00:25:51,150
YOU KNOW...
637
00:25:51,150 --> 00:25:53,623
I BET YOU CAN.
638
00:26:15,605 --> 00:26:17,607
[SIGHS]
639
00:26:23,012 --> 00:26:25,785
[SCOFFS]
640
00:26:25,785 --> 00:26:27,917
[GRUNTS]
641
00:26:27,917 --> 00:26:29,919
MAGIC SHOW STARTS
IN 40 MINUTES.
642
00:26:29,919 --> 00:26:31,621
WE BETTER DEAL WITH TED.
643
00:26:31,621 --> 00:26:32,962
I GOT THE PERFECT PLAN.
644
00:26:32,962 --> 00:26:35,124
HEY, HEY. UH, TED.
TED!
645
00:26:35,124 --> 00:26:35,895
KACZYNSKI!
646
00:26:35,895 --> 00:26:38,367
WE WERE WONDERING
IF WE COULD TAKE
AN EARLY LUNCH,
647
00:26:38,367 --> 00:26:39,168
IF THAT'S OK.
648
00:26:39,168 --> 00:26:41,030
WHY DO YOU NEED
TO GET OFF WORK?
649
00:26:41,030 --> 00:26:41,931
I'M GLAD YOU ASKED,
TED.
650
00:26:41,931 --> 00:26:46,235
DRYWELL IS HAVING
A DRIVEWAY SEALANT
SEMINAR AT LUNCH, TED,
651
00:26:46,235 --> 00:26:49,008
BASIC INFORMATION
ON INSTALLATION,
652
00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:50,009
MAINTENANCE,
WHAT HAVE YOU.
653
00:26:50,009 --> 00:26:52,011
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'VE
BEEN TRYING TO BEEF UP
654
00:26:52,011 --> 00:26:54,043
THE DRIVEWAY SEALANT
DEPARTMENT FOR
QUITE SOME TIME,
655
00:26:54,043 --> 00:26:55,614
AS WELL AS OUR KNOWLEDGE
OF DRIVEWAY SEALANTS,
656
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:59,719
SO WE THOUGHT WE'D
GO OVER THERE AND BONE
UP ON DRIVEWAY SEALANT.
657
00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:00,349
THAT'S THAT.
658
00:27:00,349 --> 00:27:03,252
YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS?
THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A GREAT IDEA.
659
00:27:03,252 --> 00:27:05,725
IT SOUND RESPONSIBLE.
EFFICIENT, EVEN.
660
00:27:05,725 --> 00:27:06,656
YEAH!
MM-HMM
661
00:27:06,656 --> 00:27:08,698
I TOLD YOU HE'D BE
COOL WITH IT, RIGHT?
662
00:27:08,698 --> 00:27:09,699
GREAT, THANKS.
663
00:27:09,699 --> 00:27:12,301
ONLY IF I WAS A COMPLETE
AND UTTER IDIOT.
664
00:27:12,301 --> 00:27:14,804
HMM?
665
00:27:14,804 --> 00:27:16,005
AHEM.
666
00:27:16,005 --> 00:27:16,936
HMM.
667
00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:19,008
GUYS, SERIOUSLY.
DRIVEWAY SEALANT?
668
00:27:19,008 --> 00:27:22,972
THINK I'M JUST GONNA LET YOU
BLOW OFF WORK TO GO TO
A MAGIC SHOW WITH ANDI?
669
00:27:22,972 --> 00:27:25,845
HEH! MAGIC SHOW.
PLEASE!
670
00:27:25,845 --> 00:27:28,918
WAIT, WAIT!
TED, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
A MAGIC SHOW WITH ANDI?
671
00:27:28,918 --> 00:27:29,819
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
672
00:27:29,819 --> 00:27:31,951
'CAUSE SOME GUY WAS IN HERE
GIVING AWAY FREE TICKETS.
673
00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:34,383
WAS THIS GUY IN A SUIT,
REALLY, REALLY TAN...
674
00:27:34,383 --> 00:27:38,387
YOU KNOW WHAT, SAM?
I'M NOT REALLY IN THE HABIT
OF CHECKING OTHER MEN OUT.
675
00:27:38,387 --> 00:27:40,790
UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW.
676
00:27:40,790 --> 00:27:42,061
HUH? OH, SORRY. HEH!
677
00:27:42,061 --> 00:27:45,935
I WAS SO BUSY
CHECKING OUT YOUR ASS,
I MISSED YOUR FUNNY JOKE.
678
00:27:45,935 --> 00:27:47,837
OK, COME ON, COME ON.
LET'S GO.
679
00:27:47,837 --> 00:27:50,800
DID YOU WANT TO
REPEAT IT, OR...
680
00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:55,975
WHOA, WHA--
WHY ARE WE RUNNING?
681
00:27:56,976 --> 00:27:59,779
THE DEVIL'S TRYING
TO SET UP ANDI. LET'S GO.
682
00:27:59,779 --> 00:28:01,711
WAIT, WAIT!
LET ME CATCH MY BREATH!
683
00:28:01,711 --> 00:28:03,682
SAM!
RELAX. HE'LL BE BACK.
684
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,354
WHERE THE HELL'S
THE BIRD?
685
00:28:05,354 --> 00:28:06,816
HE GOT OUT.
686
00:28:06,816 --> 00:28:08,087
[DOVE COOING]
687
00:28:08,087 --> 00:28:09,688
Sam: WHAT? HOW?
688
00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:10,089
WE WERE TALKING.
689
00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:13,923
ALL RIGHT,
JUST CATCH THE BIRD AND
MEET ME AT THE MAGIC SHOW.
690
00:28:13,923 --> 00:28:14,924
COME ON, WINSTON.
691
00:28:14,924 --> 00:28:16,996
COME TO DADDY.
WE HAVE TO GO NOW.
692
00:28:16,996 --> 00:28:18,167
I'LL BRING HIM DOWN.
693
00:28:18,167 --> 00:28:21,901
I WILL CUT YOU
WHERE YOU STAND.
694
00:28:24,133 --> 00:28:27,376
SO WHAT IS IT NOW,
ROOF TAR CLASS?
695
00:28:27,376 --> 00:28:28,477
LOOK, TED...
696
00:28:28,477 --> 00:28:29,979
I'LL WORK THE WEEKEND SHIFT.
697
00:28:29,979 --> 00:28:32,081
I'LL WORK THE NEXT
4 WEEKEND SHIFTS!
698
00:28:32,081 --> 00:28:34,984
I'LL WORK NIGHTS!
HELL, I'LL EVEN
WORK THANKSGIVING!
699
00:28:34,984 --> 00:28:36,245
COME ON!
SERIOUSLY, YOU'D...
700
00:28:36,245 --> 00:28:38,017
YOU'D GIVE UP ALL THAT?
701
00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:39,749
YES. NOW MOVE!
702
00:28:39,749 --> 00:28:41,921
OK THEN.
703
00:28:46,355 --> 00:28:48,798
TED IS GOOD.
704
00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:06,415
[WHISPERING]
Hey, what are you doing?
705
00:29:06,415 --> 00:29:07,977
HEY, WHAT TOOK YOU
SO LONG?
706
00:29:07,977 --> 00:29:09,018
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
707
00:29:09,018 --> 00:29:11,050
I GOT YOUR VOICEMAIL
TO MEET YOU HERE.
708
00:29:11,050 --> 00:29:12,021
VOICEMAIL?
IN MY VOICE?
709
00:29:12,021 --> 00:29:15,224
UM, YEAH? WHAT, YOU DON'T
REMEMBER LEAVING IT?
710
00:29:15,224 --> 00:29:17,787
UH...THAT MESSAGE.
YES, YES.
711
00:29:17,787 --> 00:29:20,329
I DO. UM, SORRY, I HAD
A SMALL STROKE EARLIER.
712
00:29:20,329 --> 00:29:21,460
WE GOTTA GO. LET'S--
713
00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:23,032
NO, NO!
THIS IS KIND OF FUN.
714
00:29:23,032 --> 00:29:26,195
THIS--HE SUCKS!
LET'S GO.
715
00:29:26,195 --> 00:29:29,038
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME,
ISN'T HE?
716
00:29:29,038 --> 00:29:31,470
MM-HMM.
I SUCK.
717
00:29:31,470 --> 00:29:32,842
UM...
718
00:29:32,842 --> 00:29:34,073
WHY DON'T YOU
COME UP ONSTAGE
719
00:29:34,073 --> 00:29:35,975
AND LET ME SHOW YOU
SOME REAL MAGIC?
720
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:39,208
I--I WOULD DO THAT,
BUT WE WERE JUST LEAVING.
721
00:29:39,208 --> 00:29:43,152
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
COME ON, GIVE THIS GUY
SOME ENCOURAGEMENT.
722
00:29:43,152 --> 00:29:44,413
NO, NO! SERIOUSLY, NO.
723
00:29:44,413 --> 00:29:46,415
ANDI, STOP LAUGHING.
WE GOTTA GO.
724
00:29:46,415 --> 00:29:48,087
YOU'RE SUCH A CHICKEN.
725
00:29:48,087 --> 00:29:49,859
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL DO IT.
726
00:29:49,859 --> 00:29:50,860
NO! NO, YOU CAN'T.
727
00:29:50,860 --> 00:29:52,561
WHY NOT? IT'LL BE FUN.
I'LL DO IT.
728
00:29:52,561 --> 00:29:56,065
BECAUSE...
HE ASKED ME FIRST.
729
00:29:56,065 --> 00:29:58,497
RIGHT?
OK.
730
00:30:00,830 --> 00:30:03,873
LET'S DO THIS.
731
00:30:16,015 --> 00:30:17,486
YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?
732
00:30:17,486 --> 00:30:18,147
UM...
733
00:30:18,147 --> 00:30:19,518
THIS ISN'T ENOUGH
TO HOLD YOUR ATTENTION?
734
00:30:19,518 --> 00:30:23,252
UH, NO. MY FRIENDS
ARE SUPPOSED TO
MEET ME HERE,
735
00:30:23,252 --> 00:30:25,394
SO I WAS...
TOUCH IT.
736
00:30:25,394 --> 00:30:26,255
WHAT?
737
00:30:26,255 --> 00:30:29,328
TOUCH THE SWORD.
TELL THEM IT'S REAL.
738
00:30:30,559 --> 00:30:32,001
I DON'T KNOW.
739
00:30:32,001 --> 00:30:33,832
SEEMS...COULD BE FAKE.
740
00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:36,135
HOLD IT. IT'S REAL.
741
00:30:36,135 --> 00:30:37,836
YEAH, THAT'S, UH...
742
00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:42,241
THAT'S SOME PRETTY GOOD
ACTION RIGHT THERE. YEAH.
743
00:30:42,241 --> 00:30:45,144
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
LOOKS LIKE OUR VOLUNTEER'S
744
00:30:45,144 --> 00:30:46,916
CONTRACTED A CASE
OF STAGE FRIGHT.
745
00:30:46,916 --> 00:30:49,448
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
746
00:30:52,451 --> 00:30:54,383
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
747
00:30:54,383 --> 00:30:57,256
GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD.
748
00:30:57,256 --> 00:31:00,359
YOU NEED IT, DON'T YOU?
749
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,491
YOU HAVE NO POWER
WITHOUT IT.
750
00:31:02,491 --> 00:31:03,993
WHAT ARE YOU, A DEMON?
751
00:31:03,993 --> 00:31:06,435
NO, I'M JUST THE GUY
SENDING YOU BACK TO HELL.
752
00:31:06,435 --> 00:31:10,139
JUST AS SOON AS
MY FRIENDS SHOW UP.
753
00:31:10,139 --> 00:31:13,072
UH! I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU
KILL ANYMORE PEOPLE!
754
00:31:13,072 --> 00:31:16,605
THOSE YOKELS OUT THERE
GET WHAT THEY DESERVE.
755
00:31:16,605 --> 00:31:18,377
I GIVE THEM PURE MAGIC,
756
00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:21,110
AND THEY RESPOND
LIKE A BUNCH OF
SLACK-JAWED CATTLE.
757
00:31:21,110 --> 00:31:24,613
YEAH, WELL, MAYBE
THEY RESPOND THAT WAY BECAUSE
YOU'RE SUCH A TOTAL DICKWAD.
758
00:31:24,613 --> 00:31:27,156
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
I WENT THROUGH IN HELL,
759
00:31:27,156 --> 00:31:30,089
WHAT I FEELS LIKE
TO BE IMPALED ON A SWORD
760
00:31:30,089 --> 00:31:30,519
FOR DECADES ON END.
761
00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:34,363
YEAH, WELL, GET USED TO IT,
BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING BACK.
762
00:31:35,164 --> 00:31:37,666
AAH! UNH!
763
00:31:37,666 --> 00:31:39,628
AAH!
764
00:31:42,101 --> 00:31:43,933
AAH!
765
00:31:43,933 --> 00:31:45,604
GAH!
766
00:31:45,604 --> 00:31:47,106
AAH!
767
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:49,478
[GRUNTING]
768
00:31:53,382 --> 00:31:55,114
AAH!
769
00:32:19,238 --> 00:32:22,141
WHOA!
770
00:32:25,544 --> 00:32:28,577
AAH! [GRUNTING]
771
00:32:37,026 --> 00:32:39,989
OOH! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
772
00:32:50,439 --> 00:32:52,341
[GRUNTS]
773
00:32:58,007 --> 00:32:59,048
SAM! YOU ALL RIGHT?
774
00:32:59,048 --> 00:33:00,979
NO, NO!
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME!
775
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,212
GIVE ME THE VESSEL.
GIVE ME THE VESSEL.
776
00:33:03,212 --> 00:33:04,083
Ben: HERE.
777
00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:06,085
Sock: WAVE IT AROUND!
WAVE IT AROUND!
778
00:33:06,085 --> 00:33:08,157
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
779
00:33:08,157 --> 00:33:09,588
Sam: YOU STUPID BIRD,
COME ON!
780
00:33:09,588 --> 00:33:11,120
COME ON! COME ON!
GO, GO!
781
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:12,721
COME ON, WINSTON!
GO, WINSTON!
782
00:33:12,721 --> 00:33:15,764
COME ON, COME ON.
COME ON, WINSTON.
783
00:33:15,764 --> 00:33:17,266
IT'S SAD. SO STUPID,
784
00:33:17,266 --> 00:33:21,030
YOU CAN'T
EVEN FIGURE OUT
THE SIMPLEST OF TRICKS.
785
00:33:21,030 --> 00:33:22,000
HUH? TRICKS?
786
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,074
TRICKS. THAT'S IT!
THAT'S IT!
787
00:33:27,176 --> 00:33:30,109
SAM, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING, SAM?
788
00:33:32,041 --> 00:33:34,783
UH, TA DA?
789
00:33:36,715 --> 00:33:39,318
[BIRD CALLING]
790
00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:43,092
WINSTON?
791
00:33:43,092 --> 00:33:44,553
[BIRD CALLING]
792
00:33:44,553 --> 00:33:46,095
[WINGS BEATING]
793
00:33:46,095 --> 00:33:47,256
[ALL SHOUTING]
794
00:33:47,256 --> 00:33:50,059
AAH!
795
00:34:04,313 --> 00:34:05,174
THAT, MY FRIEND...
796
00:34:05,174 --> 00:34:07,316
WAS SOME FINE HELL SUCKING.
797
00:34:07,316 --> 00:34:08,347
COME ON.
798
00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:10,279
WINSTON? WHA--
799
00:34:10,279 --> 00:34:12,081
OH, MAN!
800
00:34:12,081 --> 00:34:13,422
[EXHALES]
801
00:34:13,422 --> 00:34:15,824
[SOCK LAUGHING]
802
00:34:15,824 --> 00:34:17,356
HA HA HA HA!
803
00:34:17,356 --> 00:34:18,687
AW.
MAN.
804
00:34:18,687 --> 00:34:21,090
AW, THAT WAS AWESOME.
805
00:34:22,831 --> 00:34:25,234
Sock: MM-MMM.
806
00:34:25,234 --> 00:34:27,065
HI, GLADYS.
807
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,368
YOU ARE LOOKING...
[GRUNTS] TODAY!
808
00:34:29,368 --> 00:34:32,401
PLACE THE VESSEL
ON THE MAT.
809
00:34:32,401 --> 00:34:34,303
WHOA. IT'S GONNA BE
KIND OF DIFFICULT
810
00:34:34,303 --> 00:34:37,476
WITH ALL THAT SEXUAL
TENSION PUSHING BACK.
811
00:34:38,307 --> 00:34:40,679
YOU READY?
812
00:34:42,211 --> 00:34:43,282
YEAH.
813
00:34:43,282 --> 00:34:45,554
OH, I--CAN I HAVE
A MOMENT?
814
00:34:45,554 --> 00:34:48,086
YEAH.
YEAH.
815
00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:50,819
WINSTON...
816
00:34:52,261 --> 00:34:54,423
YOU'RE ONE
FREAKY ASS BIRD
817
00:34:54,423 --> 00:34:55,724
WHO SCARED THE CRAP
OUT OF ME,
818
00:34:55,724 --> 00:34:59,428
AND NOW I CAN'T
BE COMFORTABLE
AROUND BIRDS EVER AGAIN.
819
00:34:59,428 --> 00:35:02,171
I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.
820
00:35:04,673 --> 00:35:05,874
OK.
821
00:35:05,874 --> 00:35:06,635
ALL RIGHT.
822
00:35:06,635 --> 00:35:08,807
COOL.
IT'S COOL.
823
00:35:08,807 --> 00:35:10,779
OK.
824
00:35:10,779 --> 00:35:12,281
THANK YOU, GLADYS.
825
00:35:12,281 --> 00:35:13,682
OH, I'M SORRY.
826
00:35:13,682 --> 00:35:15,714
THESE ARE HIS FAVORITE.
827
00:35:15,714 --> 00:35:18,417
OK, NOW I'M DONE.
828
00:35:27,826 --> 00:35:30,499
Andi: SO WHAT DID
HAPPEN TO YOU?
829
00:35:30,499 --> 00:35:33,232
YEAH, THAT WAS A HELL
OF A MAGIC TRICK.
830
00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:34,803
HE MADE YOU BOTH
DISAPPEAR.
831
00:35:34,803 --> 00:35:37,406
WHY DID YOU
RUN OFF THE STAGE?
832
00:35:37,406 --> 00:35:39,438
YEAH, I, UM...
833
00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:41,310
I ATE A BAD HOTDOG, SO--
834
00:35:41,310 --> 00:35:43,572
OOH. YEAH, WELL...
835
00:35:43,572 --> 00:35:44,873
YOU BETTER MAN UP
FOR THIS WEEKEND
836
00:35:44,873 --> 00:35:48,177
BECAUSE WE HAVE
A LONG TRIP AND
LIMITED BATHROOM STOPS.
837
00:35:48,177 --> 00:35:51,820
RIGHT, YES.
UM, ABOUT THAT...
838
00:35:51,820 --> 00:35:54,653
I...I CAN'T GO.
839
00:35:54,653 --> 00:35:56,355
[SCOFFS] WHAT?
840
00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:58,156
ARE YOU THAT SICK?
841
00:35:58,156 --> 00:35:58,927
NO, NO, NO.
842
00:35:58,927 --> 00:36:00,189
UM...I'M WORKING.
843
00:36:00,189 --> 00:36:03,532
I TOLD TED THAT I'D WORK
THE NEXT 4 WEEKEND SHIFTS.
844
00:36:03,532 --> 00:36:05,564
WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU
SAY THAT?
845
00:36:05,564 --> 00:36:08,437
I MEAN, YOU KNEW WE WERE
GOING AWAY THIS WEEKEND.
846
00:36:08,437 --> 00:36:09,298
DON'T BE MAD. I--
847
00:36:09,298 --> 00:36:12,441
NO, I'M NOT MAD.
I'M JUST...I'M CONFUSED.
848
00:36:12,441 --> 00:36:13,902
I MEAN, IF YOU DIDN'T
WANT TO GO WITH ME,
849
00:36:13,902 --> 00:36:15,474
WHY WOULDN'T YOU
JUST SAY THAT,
850
00:36:15,474 --> 00:36:18,347
AND WHY SADDLE YOURSELF
WITH WEEKEND SHIFTS?
851
00:36:19,648 --> 00:36:21,850
TH--THAT IS
AN EXCELLENT QUESTION.
852
00:36:21,850 --> 00:36:22,811
OK, THEN ANSWER IT.
853
00:36:22,811 --> 00:36:24,583
THAT I CAN'T--
I CAN'T ANSWER.
854
00:36:24,583 --> 00:36:26,184
IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN,
ALL RIGHT?
855
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,787
I--I TRIED,
BUT TED WOULDN'T LET ME.
856
00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:30,289
IT'S NOT THAT
I DIDN'T WANT TO--
857
00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:31,890
OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I TAKE IT BACK.
858
00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:33,322
I AM MAD.
859
00:36:33,322 --> 00:36:33,962
WAIT, ANDI, HOLD ON!
860
00:36:33,962 --> 00:36:36,695
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE COULD'VE HAD A REALLY
GREAT WEEKEND, SAM.
861
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:40,599
AND THEN YOU HAD TO GET
ALL CAUGHT UP IN YOUR
HEAD AND MAKE IT WEIRD.
862
00:36:40,599 --> 00:36:41,870
NO! I DON'T THINK
IT'S WEIRD.
863
00:36:41,870 --> 00:36:43,972
IT'S THE OPPOSITE.
IT'S NOT WEIRD.
864
00:36:43,972 --> 00:36:45,374
YES, IT FEELS WEIRD.
865
00:36:45,374 --> 00:36:47,576
LISTEN, YOU'RE LIKE
MY BEST FRIEND, OK?
866
00:36:47,576 --> 00:36:50,379
I REALLY DON'T WANT
THINGS TO CHANGE.
867
00:36:50,379 --> 00:36:51,640
AND THEY WON'T!
868
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,782
WE--WE'RE--WE ARE FRIENDS.
869
00:36:53,782 --> 00:36:54,243
YEAH.
870
00:36:54,243 --> 00:36:58,487
JUST FRIENDS THAT
CAN'T SPEND TIME
ALONE TOGETHER, HUH?
871
00:36:58,947 --> 00:37:00,289
NEVER MIND.
872
00:37:00,289 --> 00:37:01,219
NEVER MIND.
873
00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:04,893
LISTEN, I'LL BRING YOU
BACK A PROGRAM, OK?
874
00:37:07,696 --> 00:37:09,958
[SIGHS]
875
00:37:16,435 --> 00:37:18,267
AH, DRINKING ALONE.
876
00:37:18,267 --> 00:37:20,469
THAT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
877
00:37:20,469 --> 00:37:21,239
HEH HEH.
878
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,641
I DON'T HAVE
MUCH ELSE TO DO.
879
00:37:22,641 --> 00:37:26,575
AH. I'LL HAVE A CRANBERRY
AND SODA, MY GOOD WOMAN.
880
00:37:26,575 --> 00:37:29,017
OH, I NEVER DRINK
WHILE I WORK.
881
00:37:29,017 --> 00:37:30,018
CLOUDS THE MIND.
882
00:37:30,018 --> 00:37:33,652
MAYBE IF YOU DRANK,
YOU'D BE LESS OF A DICK.
883
00:37:33,652 --> 00:37:35,954
HMM, YEAH.
884
00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:37,986
HEH HEH! OH, BUDDY.
885
00:37:37,986 --> 00:37:40,889
YOU'VE WORKED HARD,
SACRIFICED.
886
00:37:40,889 --> 00:37:43,932
I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.
887
00:37:45,894 --> 00:37:47,296
YOU KNOW WHAT?
888
00:37:47,296 --> 00:37:48,967
YOU CAN TAKE
THE WEEKEND OFF.
889
00:37:48,967 --> 00:37:50,669
GO TO YOUR LITTLE CONCERT.
890
00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:53,001
DROP SOME ECSTASY,
WHATEVER YOU WANT.
891
00:37:53,001 --> 00:37:54,573
I WORK THIS WEEKEND.
892
00:37:54,573 --> 00:37:57,946
I WORK THE NEXT 4
WEEKENDS BECAUSE OF YOU.
893
00:37:57,946 --> 00:37:59,007
WHAT DID I DO?
894
00:37:59,007 --> 00:38:00,749
YOU PUT ANDI IN DANGER.
895
00:38:00,749 --> 00:38:02,411
OH.
896
00:38:02,411 --> 00:38:05,784
YEAH, RIGHT.
I DID, DIDN'T I?
897
00:38:06,415 --> 00:38:08,957
[SIGHS]
898
00:38:08,957 --> 00:38:10,559
[EXHALES]
899
00:38:10,559 --> 00:38:12,691
WELL, THIS REALLY SUCKS.
900
00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:14,663
CAN'T GO ON YOUR TRIP.
901
00:38:14,663 --> 00:38:16,064
YOU DON'T GET THE GIRL.
902
00:38:16,064 --> 00:38:19,328
YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE
YOU FEEL BAD FOR ME? WHAT?
903
00:38:19,328 --> 00:38:20,799
I DO!
NO, YOU DON'T.
904
00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:22,771
I DO, I DO.
I FEEL TERRIBLE.
905
00:38:22,771 --> 00:38:25,003
I FEEL CRAPPY.
I FEEL AWFUL.
906
00:38:25,003 --> 00:38:25,504
[SCOFFS]
907
00:38:25,504 --> 00:38:30,509
YOU SURE THERE'S
NOTHING I CAN DO
TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU?
908
00:38:32,941 --> 00:38:34,543
I WANT THE CONTRACT.
909
00:38:34,543 --> 00:38:37,846
WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
A DEATH WISH?
910
00:38:37,846 --> 00:38:40,489
WELL, I REALIZED
IF ANYTHING'S
GONNA KILL ME,
911
00:38:40,489 --> 00:38:44,653
IT'S GONNA BE SOME
PSYCHO ESCAPED SOUL
FROM HELL, NOT YOU.
912
00:38:44,653 --> 00:38:48,897
BECAUSE...YOU NEED ME.
913
00:38:49,928 --> 00:38:53,862
AND I--
I NEED THAT CONTRACT.
914
00:38:58,036 --> 00:38:59,037
HEH HEH!
915
00:38:59,037 --> 00:39:02,371
SEE, WHAT IS IT
ABOUT YOU, SAMMY?
916
00:39:02,371 --> 00:39:05,043
HUH? I JUST CAN'T SAY NO.
917
00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:08,677
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TALK
TO THE GUYS DOWNSTAIRS
918
00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:10,879
AND SEE IF THEY CAN
DIG UP A DRAFT, ALL RIGHT?
919
00:39:10,879 --> 00:39:15,454
FILING SYSTEM
IN THE ABYSS IS SHABBY,
AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT,
920
00:39:15,454 --> 00:39:18,056
BUT I'LL PUT IN A REQUEST.
921
00:39:18,056 --> 00:39:20,058
OK? FAIR ENOUGH?
922
00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:21,930
YES. THANK YOU.
923
00:39:21,930 --> 00:39:23,862
YEAH, WELL...
924
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,363
AHEM. WHAT THE HECK.
925
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:28,096
I'LL HAVE
WHAT HE'S HAVING.
926
00:39:28,096 --> 00:39:30,969
YOU KNOW THE ONE
BRIGHT SIDE OF ALL THIS?
927
00:39:30,969 --> 00:39:33,802
NOW YOU KNOW
THAT ANDI'S INTO YOU.
928
00:39:33,802 --> 00:39:35,904
NO, SHE ALMOST
BIT MY HEAD OFF.
929
00:39:35,904 --> 00:39:36,475
EXACTLY.
930
00:39:36,475 --> 00:39:40,108
THE LADY DOTH PROTEST
TOO MUCH, METHINKS.
931
00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:41,910
THANKS.
932
00:39:41,910 --> 00:39:44,553
DO YOU--
DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?
933
00:39:44,553 --> 00:39:45,514
TRUST ME, BUDDY.
934
00:39:45,514 --> 00:39:49,017
I DO KNOW A THING OR TWO
ABOUT THE HUMAN ANIMAL.
63971
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