All language subtitles for Patriot Act With Hasan Minhaj s06e04_English

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Original subtitles

This photo has haunted America this past week.

And as horrific as it is, it is all too familiar.

Another black person dying at the hands of the police,

screaming, "I can't breathe."

But this time, we cannot stay silent,

especially the Asian community.

Because the murder of George Floyd was so heinous...

even these people are speaking out.

This man who put his knee on the neck of George Floyd

does not deserve to be free in this country.

[Rush Limbaugh] What happened to George Floyd sickened me,

and I'm not the only American who feels this way.

This is fucking incredible.

It only took Logan Paul seeing two dead bodies on camera

to reflect on his privilege.

Believe it or not...

this is progress.

But, Logan, if you're gonna talk seriously about racial injustice...

fucking move Squirtle!

He's like, "We have to bully the politicians.

We have to prosecute these murderers.

We gotta catch 'em all!"

Dude, we're having a serious discussion

and you got fucking tchotchkes on the table!

Get the Beanie Babies outta here, Logan!

Protests have erupted across the country.

It is a mass mobilization unlike anything I have ever seen before.

And a lot of cops have done nothing but make a heartbreaking situation...

worse.

You've seen the videos on Twitter showing cops punching protesters,

arresting people for no reason,

tear gassing bystanders,

and all this bullshit opened the floodgates to bizarre shit.

Fucking Batman showed up,

property was destroyed,

and white teenage angst hit an all time high.

For the first time ever,

white teens have gotten what they have always wanted:

purpose.

Dylan and Cody are going full on Mad Max cosplay.

Caucasians are fucking karate kicking police cars

like their parents just got divorced.

And the problem is the conversation has quickly turned from police brutality...

to this.

[Sean Hannity] The rape of America is happening,

and it's happening right before our eyes

and it has nothing to do with the death of that poor man.

These wanton acts of violence are part of a coordinated effort

to eventually overthrow the United States government.

The worst people in our society have taken control.

I couldn't agree more, Tucker.

The worst people in society have taken control.

Looting has broken out all over the country.

It has gotten so bad, even my community is speaking out.

But let's be real.

It's probably because it affects the bottom line.

[TV reporter] Abdul Saleh has never seen anything like it

in his 20 years in business.

Stuff that wasn't theirs that looters stole early Saturday evening.

What hurts Saleh the most is he knows many of the looters.

[Saleh] And I got no problem with nobody.

That's awful, but come on,

25 bucks for J's?

That Jumpman's got a gut like Kim Jong Un.

So who's looting who, Saleh?

Clearly, there are a lot of people who own small businesses

and are feeling the pain.

"Why are they doing this?" "Yeh pagalpan kya hai?"

"What does this solve?"

And I understand that frustration.

Especially when you think about the countries that we come from.

India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka,

Egypt, Libya, Palestine, Iraq, Iran, Syria,

Vietnam, Cambodia, China, Japan, Laos, the Philippines.

Depending on when you immigrated,

I know this, you came to this country for order and stability.

We don't want it to be as fucked up as back home.

That's why we're all in our living rooms like,

"Yeh pagalpan kya hai?" "Yeh log kya kar rehe hain?"

"Why can't they just follow the laws?"

But imagine if you lived in a country...

where the color of your skin got you killed...

for driving, jogging, sleeping, yelling,

parking, babysitting, sitting in a van,

selling CDs, selling cigarettes,

opening the door, walking at night, wearing a hoodie at night,

holding a toy gun, lying on the ground,

being homeless, being in a dark stairwell,

holding a cell phone, having a broken taillight,

exercising horses,

having a bottle of pills,

shopping at Walmart, holding a BB gun at Walmart

holding a phone in your own backyard,

eating ice cream in your own house,

and shopping,

you would say, "That is a lawless country."

Who the fuck is running the show? Al-Shabab?

By the way, hands down, funniest sounding terrorist organization.

Sounds like you're about to order falafel, not carry AKs in the back of a Toyota.

So hold on, why are we shocked

that people are asking for revolutionary change?

Dude, we support revolutions overseas!

The Intifada, Hong Kong,

Arab Spring, Myanmar,

CAA/NRC protests, Tiananmen Square.

Fucking throwing stones at tanks, that is our shit.

And we can't empathize with the protestors?

We can't seem to fathom the same knee of oppression that kills in Gaza

could be the same knee of oppression that killed George Floyd?

Look, I can't speak to what it's like to be black,

but I know how we talk about black people.

And it is fucked up, because it is a microcosm of America.

Asians, we love seeing black excellence: Barack, Michelle, Jay, Beyoncรฉ.

Give me the Travis Scott 4s.

We spent the last five weeks praying at the altar of Michael Jordan.

How could we be afraid? We love black America.

Yeah, on screen, in our living rooms.

But if a black man walks into your living room,

or wants to date, God forbid, marry your daughter?

You'd call the cops.

Dude, do you know what we call black people?

We call them kaala. It means black, not in a good way.

If someone in your family is dark skinned, we clown them.

We call them kallu. "Look at kallu!"

Our Bollywood stars do skin whitening commercials

so we don't look black.

Thank you, Britain.

It is bad to be black in Desi culture

even though we all wish we were black.

You don't think that affects how we view black people?

Twenty percent of Muslims in America are black.

We don't even like praying at the same mosques!

If they show up at the masjid, we're like, "Yo, is Farrakhan here?"

That is the great hypocrisy.

We love seeing how high a black person can ascend in America,

but we have done nothing to raise the floor.

That is what these protests are about.

And the worst part is...

we're in this country because of protest, because of the civil rights movement!

The only reason so many of us are here is because of the Immigration Act of '65.

That law rode the wave of the Civil Rights Act of '64.

Think of the chess moves.

Martin gets Lyndon B. Johnson to sign that sheet of paper,

and little do we know, MLK cc'd us on that e-mail of progress.

Because of that one signature, Ammi and Abbu were able to move

to Edison, Fremont, Plano, Naperville,

Irvine, Marietta, Dearborn, Twin Cities,

Schaumburg, Sugarland, Long Beach,

Dallas, Sunnyvale, Cupertino.

You know, the factories that make us?

All so that you could eat fucking Bundu Khan

instead of being in Karachi.

"But hey, it's not our fight, right?

This is a black/white issue."

America's story didn't start when we got here.

When you became an American citizen,

you don't just get to own the country's excellence.

You have to own its failures.

That is the deal.

That's why I can't get this photo out of my head.

Because it's cropped wrong.

Zoom out.

Who's in this photo?

The officer who is blocking people off, he's Hmong-American.

He's my age. He's 34.

The guy who owns the store... Did you know this?

He's Arab-American!

His clerk called the cops on Floyd.

That is America.

A black man was murdered in cold blood,

and we were on the fucking sidelines watching!

I'm not saying we were the ones who killed George Floyd,

but we have to be the ones who pull that cop off his neck!

We think we're not a part of the story, but we're at the scene of the crime!

That's why the full picture matters.

This doesn't happen in a vacuum. It happens in a system.

"Fine, Hasan, what do you want us to do?

How do you want us to support black America?

I did the little black Instagram square.

I had a tough conversation with my family."

Fuck that.

This fake woke shit we do on IG dies in a week.

We can't just knock out racism.

We have to help win this thing on the cards.

We have to donate our money and time to black organizations.

To all the doctors, offer free healthcare to protesters.

Tech people, help black businesses get online.

You work in IT? Set up a router.

You passed the bar? Good. Ammi and Abbu are proud.

Work pro bono for protesters.

Pfizer doesn't need any more billables.

Everything helps.

Be like Rahul.

He let protesters hide from police in his home.

You don't even need a degree to do this.

You just need a Sharpie.

Because we have gotta get our civics, law school nerd shit on right now.

Two things: legislating and voting.

That changes history, and it scales.

These are a few things we all gotta get behind,

and this applies to everyone.

Number one: end qualified immunity.

It protects cops from lawsuits

and holds them to a different set of standards than the rest of us.

There's a bill in Congress right now,

make sure it gets traction.

Harass your member of Congress.

Call the landline.

If you can make bots for a Jordan drop,

make bots that will call your member of Congress.

Next, demilitarize the police.

We saw this, two months ago, doctors are waddling in garbage bags,

but now our cops are LARPing like Master Chief in Halo? No.

Three, this is very important,

vote out corrupt local officials.

Because this buddy-buddy bullshit between prosecutors, DAs, and the cops

is the reason that police officers never serve time.

You have to google when the election is,

vote locally and get new officials into the system.

That's on all of us.

Number four... This isn't for everyone.

This is for Keith Ellison.

Keith, I know you are watching.

You are the Attorney General in Minnesota and you have this case now.

Come on, man, how many Muslim fundraisers have you and I gone to

where we pray for the community?

"We gotta make d'ua." We cannot just make d'ua.

You need to charge and prosecute all four officers

as hard as you possibly can.

They have got to go to prison.

We can't let this moment slip away.

Millions of people around the world have taken to the street

to afford us this moment.

Set the precedent.

So the next time a cop has his knee on a black man's neck,

he will see it for what it is:

murder.

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