Original subtitles

Come on, let's see this at 7:30.

‐ Then I want to see this‐‐ ‐ 'So, ladies..'

Y'all..

Y'all picked the flick? Huh?

I'm with, I'm with anything as long as it is not one of those

all men are dogs, burn his cot.

Denzel come and save my life, chick flicks.

Like you didn't cry buckets

when Big Mama died in "Soul Food."

Big Mama meant everything to them girls.

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a nineties kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my homegirls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Check check check it out ♪ ♪ Single ♪

♪ What you want no free position ♪

♪ Haa ♪

Uh‐huh! So bunk my 3 o'clock to 1 o'clock

and then cancel my lunch, alright?

Good. Okay.

Carol, you the woman. Alright.

Hey, people, what y'all got planned for me tonight?

Uh, nothing. We're staying home.

Look, dinner and a movie.

Now you can come only

if you promise not to talk back to the screen.

Last time, the people can't hear you.

I just realized that from 10:15 to 10:59

I'm meeting the Appellate Judge online to review case law.

That is, if I can get him out of a judge duty chat room.

I should be finished just in time to be soaking in the tub

watching Cochrane and Company by 11.

Look, let's skip the movie, order takeout.

How about Thai? I got coupons.

Gee, you must be crazy.

You're not messing up our night just because

of your hectic schedule.

I mean, what happened to the Max that asked us

to move our refrigerator next to the couch

so she wouldn't have to get up.

She woke up.

[pager beeping]

Kyle moving to London helped me clean house emotionally

and streamline my life.

Now, at work, I'm a lean, mean, plea bargain machine

setting records for not tying up the courts

with those pesky trials.

So why go to trial at all, then, huh?

Why not just flip a coin?

Heads you walk, tails you fry.

Khadijah, look

95 percent of the cases don't even to go trial anyway.

Look, I'm just going with the flow.

If I can keep up this pace, by the time I'm 35

I'll be supreme court justice, I'll be retired by 40

and be naked on the beach in the Caribbean

by the time I'm 41.

Hey, Bannon, how's life deep inside

the infested bowels of the criminal wasteland.

[chuckles] Better now that you're in the bowels with me.

Uh‐huh, not for long, pal.

All I've got is a shoplifter, a trespasser and a spitter.

I can blow through these losers in an hour

and make my 1 o'clock braid‐tightening appointment.

Oh, good morning.

I am Maxine Shaw, your court appointed attorney.

Lucky you.

Alright, Mr. Jackson.

Do you understand the charges against you?

Yes, the hospital thinks I was trespassing.

Yeah... they tend to think that when somebody's harassing

patients after visiting hours three fricking weeks in a row.

You know what, I like to call it

comforting people in their time of need.

Right and a pickpocket just gets rid of that bulge on your booty.

Okay, listen, here's the drill.

You plead guilty, we get a reduced charge

with a minimum sentence and fine and you'll be back

in the hospital, hittin' on the sick and needy in no time.

I'm not interested in a plea bargain.

I want to go to trial and prove my innocence.

What planet are you living on, man?

Look, I mean, they've got videotape on you.

They've got four witnesses

and I've got a hair appointment in less than an hour

so, come on, walk the walk.

But I haven't done anything wrong.

I was just working for my father.

Great, well..

Okay, if we can prove that he put you up to this

we can probably get you off.

Who's your daddy?

The man upstairs.

Judge Cartwright?

A little higher.

The mayor? The governor?

President Clinton?

Higher.

Hillary?

All the way up.

So then that would make you..

I'm back.

[laughing]

Oh, I'm back..

Alright, I know, I know what's going on here.

Bannon put you up to this. Bannon!

Alright, the gloves are off.

Next time you show me that picture of your fiance

I'm telling the truth. She's a beast.

‐ Miss, Miss Shaw. ‐ Ohh!

Miss Shaw. Miss Shaw, this is no joke.

I really am the son of God.

Yeah and I'm Joan of Arc.

Where were you when they were burning me up?

That fire was a bear.

Why is it whenever I tell people who I really am, they overreact?

I.. I'm not overreacting. I'm..

[chuckles]

I'm totally on board.

So we're going to need some character witnesses.

How many of the apostles can you round up?

People..

Yoda.

Sorry, I'm late.

I got stuck in lock‐up with some crazy brother

who thinks he's the son of God.

Oh, I met a man on the subway once

who had a sock puppet, he said it was Gandhi.

I didn't buy it though but he had a brown sock

that sounded just like Luther Vandross.

Woow, woo, woo! It's fake.

(Max) 'Well, at least you could ditch him at the next stop.'

I mean, this clown wants me to try his case.

Like, go to trial, in a courtroom.

Well, maybe he means son of God, like

you know, we're all children of God.

Well, uh, all of us but the termite.

I mean, if you ask me, they just the demon's spawn.

So, what's the charge?

Wearing sandals and sack cloth after Labor Day?

[chuckling]

Trespassing.

He was caught in the county hospital

after visiting hours

whispering words of encouragement

to the sick and dying.

That heathen!

Why don't y'all just lock him up and throw away the key?

Max, come on now, now you are talking about this guy

as if you know for sure, I mean, who is to say

that he's not the real thing?

Yeah, I don't know, wait, 'cause, you know he did say

he was going to come back one day, you know.

And, and carpenter's son don't lie.

All I'm saying is, he didn't look like the savior to me.

Wha‐wha‐wha, wait, wha‐what, what because

he didn't have blonde hair

and blue eyes and a Hollywood smile?

I, for one believe Jesus was a brother.

Yes, yes.

Well, now the Bible does describe him

as having what hair of wool and‐and‐and feet of clay.

Hair of wool, feet of clay, that's what.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

I don't know why feet of clay would make me think

that he's a brother though.

O‐o‐okay, okay.

See, I‐I‐I worked this out.

Clay meaning like dirt and dust, it means he was ashen

that's how you know he was a brother.

Jesus was a brother. Jesus was a brother. I know.

But he didn't say anything about him wearing

the jail jumpsuit, cheap sneakers

and the trace of Polo cologne.

Well, uh, I‐I‐if he is the Lord, he should be wearing Eternity.

That is a good one. That is a good one.

(Regina) 'You..'

You know what, Max, you should let me interview this guy.

I mean, there might be a story here.

Jesus is back and New York's got him.

Please, no, no, no, no.

It's bad enough the screwball has thrown off

my rocket sledge to retirement.

Now you want to write about it.

Why do I get all the nut cases?

Food for thought, Max.

Wouldn't it be ironic if you get to the pearly gates

and there's your client saying, "Told you so."

Wait a minute, M‐Max... in heaven?

Oh, I don't think this one she got to worry about.

‐ You stop that now. ‐ She ain't going there.

(Synclaire) 'You just stop that now!'

'Please, stop that now. Stop that..'

Bannon, aren't there any rules about

who gets in to see my client?

Hey, she was packing a black forest cake

still warm from the oven.

Sorry, Max, you know, but sometimes

the first amendment needs a little nudge.

A little fudge too, hey, Bannon?

Hey, I did a little background check on this guy.

Guess what he did before he took up this Messiah gig?

Oh, I don't know.

Travel with the touring company of Godspell?

He was a corporate raider

but the pressure got to him and he cracked.

So now he goes around the hospitals, churches

and soup kitchens, inspiring people.

And stirring up the soup.

Save the intimate portrait for my replacement.

I'll talk to my boss into getting me off this case.

I'm just here to tell him good luck and good riddance.

B‐b‐but I was going to put you on the cover of my magazine.

With a halo over your head.

Hey, I guess I got to just change that halo

to a couple of red horns.

Um, look, dude.

I don't know why I came down here

to tell you this in person but I just wanted to let you know

that they'll be assigning you a new attorney.

I'm out.

Fine.

Good, because I..

Just like that?

You're just going to let me walk?

No begging me to stay?

No, "My father's not going to like this."

You coming off a really rough time in your life, you know.

You put your heart out there, you got stepped on.

I understand why you wouldn't want to take any risk.

Wait, wait, how do.. How do you know that?

Khadija.

Khadija told you my business, didn't she?

Well, here's a little something you should know about her.

For two whole years, she didn't go to church.

She slept in every Sunday

sometimes with somebody.

Khadija didn't tell me anything.

Insight, kinda comes with the territory.

Uh, eh. Hey, do I make you uncomfortable?

Uh, no. Of course not.

Don't flatter yourself.

Alright, you all that!

Perform a miracle.

Here, levitate this desk. Bust out of here.

Make Bannon smell better.

Miss Shaw, I am not David Copperfield.

Although I do enjoy his work.

Did you see him make that 747 disappear?

How does he do that?

Like this. "Now you see me, now you don't."

You really don't belong in this case anyway.

You've become too afraid of losing.

I'm not afraid of losing.

This case is un‐winnable.

Yeah, but that never bothered you before.

Remember when you were a little girl?

You know, no matter how many dirty tricks

your brother played on you

you were so determined to win at Monopoly‐‐.

Oh, yeah, he used to hide money underneath the board

and short change me on rent

and he'd never let me roll with both dice

and how did you know that?

Don't tell me.

Don't wanna know.

Good luck and goodbye.

Alright, I'm back on the case..

And I'm gonna figure out a way to win.

You were looking for a miracle?

Ooh! There it is.

Cookies!

Hey, so how did the holy man take you dumping him?

How you kicked off the Church softball team?

[laughing]

No, I'm still on the case.

Oh, looked into his eyes, didn't you?

Yes, Khadija, and I saw

the mysteries of the universe in there.

Please? Come on.

The guy needed a lawyer and I'm the best. Case closed.

So you really think you could prove his innocence?

What's that got to do with anything?

Look, trial law in the 90s is not about arguing the case

based on it's merits, it's about

smoke and mirrors, baby.

It's about temporary freaking insanity.

Your Honor, my, my client didn't shoot anybody.

The 16 Twinkies he had for breakfast pulled that trigger.

So what's next, you're going to come up with some catchy phrase

for your defense like, uh..

"If he heals the sick, you must acquit."

You know if that rhymed a little bit better, I could use that.

Nah! Nope. I'm going for hospital negligence.

I'm going to point the finger at the accuser.

I'm going to the night nurse on the stand

and reduce her to a weeping mass of jelly.

God! I miss this.

Max, where is your heart?

What? My heart? Oh, please.

They make you get rid of that the minute you pass the bar.

Miss Fitzgerald..

Do you recognize the burnt out light bulb

I hold in my hand?

Uh, no.

Really?

It is the very bulb that was supposed to be

illuminating the visiting hour sign

next to your desk in the ICU.

Now, I ask again. Do you recognize this bulb?

I‐I guess.

You‐you‐you‐you guess?

You guess?

Oh, I'm sure your patients would be thrilled

to know that when called to the task, you guess.

"Is that the right dose of medicine?"

"I guess."

"Is that flat line on the monitor a good sign?"

"I guess."

Why are you doing this to me?

[crying]

I'm a good nurse.

I was nurse of the month, twice.

You were or you guess you were?

[sobbing] Oh!

Objection, Your Honor

she's badgering the witness.

Sustained.

Miss Shaw, in a span of a few short hours

you've turned my court room into bad dinner theater.

We're gonna take a, a short recess

so you can reflect on your career.

'Five minute recess. You may step down, Miss Fitzgerald.'

Does anyone have a Valium?

[laughs]

The witness is trembling and dizzy.

Shaw's on a roll.

That nurse was tougher than I expected

but the candy striper, she's going to crack

like a window pane.

Listen, Miss Shaw, you're losing.

Well, what kind of strategy do you suggest?

Turn a little water into wine and get the judge drunk?

A wise man once said.

"The truth shall set you free."

Hey, that was me.

Look, I'm the lawyer here. I know how to work the system.

Oh, yes. Smoke and mirrors, baby. Right.

Oh, by the way, I'm not a Twinkies man

but if it'll help, I've been known to have nacho or two.

Quit telling him my stuff.

I didn't.

Creepy, huh?

What do you want from me, man?

Miss Shaw, I want you to look inside yourself

and tell me who you are.

‐ Maxine Shaw. ‐ Attorney at law.

I know it rhymes really nice

but there's got to be more to you than that.

What do you stand for? What do you care about?

What drives you to get out of bed in the morning?

Besides breakfast?

I don't know!

Finally..

We're getting to some truth.

Your Honor, four witnesses and 20 minutes of videotape

confirms the defendant's presence in intensive care

after visiting hours during the weeks in question.

He's guilty of trespassing, Your Honor. Prosecution rests.

(male ♫1) 'Thank you, Mr. Rose.'

"Brevity is the soul of wit."

I say that for your benefit, Miss Shaw.

Anybody ever seen one of these shermangies?

It's an electronic organizer.

Schedules your whole life right down to the minute.

Meetings, court dates.

"American Gladiators" face off of the century.

[laughs]

'And you know what?'

I'd be one lost puppy without it

because my whole damn life is run by it.

Max, what the..

How will she live? Let's watch.

Miss Shaw, I would caution you

that the insanity plea

is meant for the defendant, not counsel.

Oh, I‐I'm crazy, Your Honor. I'm‐I'm certifiable.

I'm‐I'm‐I'm off the freaking deep end.

I‐I call myself to the stand.

I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

Everything in here is backwards.

It's the lawyers that should be taking that oath.

Can you imagine what kind of legal system we have

if the lawyers would take that oath?

Miss Shaw, you're bordering on contempt.

Oh, you know what I find contemptible?

Nobody is interested in the truth.

Everybody is just trying to win at‐at any cost.

Larry, babe, congratulations on putting away

that good Samaritan, you remember the one

that was feeding everybody else's parking meters?

Yeah, yeah, you know, I‐I'm sure we're all sleeping

real easy at night knowing that menace to society

is off the streets, aren't we, folks?

Your Honor.

No, we'll let her have a little bit more rope.

Thank you, Your Honor.

My client, Walter Jackson is guilty.

Guilty, guilty, guilty according to the law.

'He was found wandering'

after visiting hours in a hospital.

But who did he really hurt?

These people were patients in the ICU

when my client made his rounds.

Mr. Olsen had a massive heart attack.

Thought he was going to die.

Walter kept him company into the wee hours of the night.

Mrs. Hanley, she contracted Salmonella poisoning.

She wanted to die.

Walter held her hair while she puked into a bedpan.

And, uh, Mr. Taylor here, he was in a coma, right?

'Yeah.'

Then he heard Walter's voice telling him to come back

because he was still needed here.

Well, here he is.

Coincidence? You tell me.

The truth is Walter Jackson helped these people

and we wanna punish him

because he didn't look at his watch?

Is that the kind of system that works for you?

Because they sure as hell don't work for me.

You tell them. You tell them, Max.

Truth is in the house.

Whatever, let's see how far it gets us.

Is it my turn now?

[laughing]

I'm ready to rule.

In the case of the City of New York

versus Walter Jackson

I find the defendant guilty as charged.

$1500 and 14 days in jail. Court is adjourned.

So how do you feel?

Exhilarated, confused, pissed, nauseous, constipated

just to damn lost.

Good. Then the journey can begin.

Journey, what journey?

Would you stop speaking in riddles.

You see that man there.

He's about to haul your butt off to jail.

That's my pass. I'll walk it proudly.

You're a strange man, Walter.

You're a good man, but you're strange.

I just wish I could have done more for you.

You still don't understand, do you?

These last few days, they weren't for me.

They were for you.

And Lord knows you needed it.

[theme music]