Original subtitles

(female narrator) Previously on "Living Single.."

Well, here we are, baby.

Gate C‐8. The gateway to paradise, Mrs. Jones.

I want you to come to London with me to live.

Are you out of your mind, man?

Synlcaire moved out and I gotta fill her spot.

Ladies, I think we got a family here.

O‐Obie, y‐you mean we're stranded

on a deserted island?

Well, technically, babe

it won't be deserted until we're dead.

Wait!

Wait, you forgot us!

It's our honeymoon!

Oh!

Oh! Obie, quick! Send up a flare.

Oh, great, great. Now we're at the funkadelic concert?

That's the best I can do unless you want me

to set my pants on fire.

Oh, that's how we got into this mess

the first place, Mr. Frisky.

Babe, relax, relax, you know angry old Agnes

will send out a rescue team for us.

And until said rescue

I dare you to find anything wrong

with spending the night in this tropical paradise all alone.

[loud roaring]

On the other hand, um..

You're not packing a deer rifle

now, are you, mama?

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ And in a nineties kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up what ♪

♪ Keep your head up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my homegirls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ What you want ♪

♪ No free position ♪

[instrumental solo]

♪ Haa ♪

Possible tenant infraction.

(Maxine) 'Um. Um, t‐this is good.'

'Oh, God, real good.'

(Trip) 'Mm, yeah. See, I thought you like it like that.'

(Maxine) 'Mm‐hm.'

Maxine Shaw, what foul act are you doing in my kitchen?

Getting busy with a crab omelet.

You know Regine, it could be me or my hormones

but you're lookin' mighty cute in 'em jeans, baby.

Excuse me, Ira,

but I do not let strangers

saute or souffle with my gourmet cookware.

Oh, I feel the same.

That's why I brought my own.

Breakfast?

Nice try but I'm a strict vegetarian.

One vegetarian supreme for the supreme vegetarian.

Edible.

Morning.

Oh, Khadijah, good morning.

Packed you a little some‐some for later.

Well, thank you.

‐ Oh, a salad? ‐ Mm‐hm.

‐ Little chicken thingies? ‐ Right.

And a Yoo‐hoo. How'd you know?

It was in a fridge marked Khadijah's.

Touch at your own risk.

Now if you ladies will excuse me

I gotta go and put my name on the mailbox.

Well, you just make sure that's in pencil, bruh.

Oh, Lord, I love that guy.

Who is he?

That's our new roommate.

Oh, I thought you hired a new chef.

So, mate, all packed for the big move to London?

Alright. Look..

I came here to eat not open my soul.

You know, that gives me indigestion.

You know, that front is gonna cost you the man you love.

‐ Who says I love him? ‐ You did.

‐ Who says I'm in it? ‐ You did!

Alright, check this out, girl.

You need to stop listening to what I say.

Besides, it's the nineties.

We don't follow men all over the world anymore.

It's about time they start following us.

So Kyle should give up his carrier so you don't have to.

That's what I'm saying.

Look, Max, buddy, it's not like I won't miss you 'cause I will

but somebody has to make that move.

But I'm Maxine Shaw, attorney at law.

Now if not that, who am I?

What do I have?

Somebody to rub lotion on those crusty feet of yours at night.

Oh, okay, w‐w‐what was it?

A‐a mountain lion, a wolf, a velociraptor?

Some sorta tropical guinea pig.

A whole family of 'em snortin' together

can make almighty roar.

Don't you lie to make me feel better.

If there's a, an angry ferocious animal out there

you tell me!

Well, I don't know if he was angry so much as hungry.

Great. We're gonna be eaten alive and it's all your fault!

‐ Now calm down, sugarlumps. ‐ Calm down?

It's easy for you to say calm down.

You're nothing but bones.

I'm the one with the sweet meat.

Well, you didn't complain about these bones last night?

Well, there's a first time for everything.

Alright, now you're getting personal.

And might I add, a bit petty.

Oh, you haven't seen petty.

Oh, I'm looking at a heapin' helpin' of it right now.

Dagnabbit.

Obie..

What, woman?

Are you scared?

Nah, that beast was rippin' apart a goat.

He's probably full by now.

No.

I'm talking about us. About marriage.

Oh, that beast.

I mean, it's just all so new.

I don't know what you expect of me. I've never been a wife.

Well, I never had a wife, so it's not like I could tell you

if you were doin' a bad job.

That was just the reassurance I was looking for.

Look, babe, you're..

Just... try not to let the fears and doubts

of marriage overwhelm you.

I mean, I know, I'm tryin'.

Well, can we do this?

Well, we say we could in front of God and all our friends.

I'm sure our friends will forgive us if we don't

but I don't know about God.

Well, maybe we can make it work, right here.

I'm reminded of another young couple

that were stranded together and let love lead the way.

Hm.

'The only couple that comes to mind'

is Thurston and Lovey Howell

but there's was a mature island love.

No, I'm talking about Brooke shields

and Christopher Atkins in the highly underrated 80's film.

"Endless Love."

♪ My love there's only you in my life ♪

♪ The only thing that's right ♪

No, baby, u‐uh, the film

you're thinkin' about is "Blue Lagoon."

Um, "Endless Love" was a far less successful

Brooke shield's effort.

Hey! You wanna sing or you wanna fight?

♪ My first love ♪

♪ You're every breath that I take ♪

♪ You're every step I make ♪

So do I look any younger?

[chuckles] I yanked those gray hairs right out.

Oh, you didn't.

Khadijah, don't you know the old saying?

"Pluck one, two will come."

What?

Nobody ever told me about that stupid saying.

Why didn't you tell me about that stupid saying?

Alright now, just relax, honey.

It'll be weeks before you look like Esther Rolle.

[knocking on door]

Eh, morning, ladies.

Uh, Khadijah..

You think you can give me a lift to the airport tonight?

Mm‐hm.

You know, I would've gone to London with you.

[chuckling]

Yeah, Regine, look..

Uh, thank you, thank you but that would've been like

taking my little sister.

Yeah b‐but it makes so much more sense.

I mean, you and I are the only two around here

that have any style.

Uh, that's true.

And besides we would be so close to Paree and Milan

with all of the fabulous people.

‐ Ooh. ‐ Oh, why am I stuck here?

To help those who need it.

[both laughing]

I'm gonna miss you.

Aw. I'm gonna miss you too, Boo.

You know, Kyle, I can't believe you're really going.

I mean, I knew Max would be stubborn

but I really expected more from you.

See that's the problem, Khadijah, so to Maxine.

And why should I give her more

than she's willing to give to me?

Amen, brother. Leave the witch.

So you make the same mistake that I did.

I mean, I've poured the last five years

of my life into Flavor.

Khadijah, look, it's more than just my career. Come on.

Look at my history with Maxine.

Do you honestly blame me for not wanting

to risk my future on a relationship like that?

No. Kyle, look, now you look out for number one.

Me, me, me, me, me!

That's the key to success.

‐ Really? ‐ Mm‐hm.

Well, I'm glad you feel that way, Regine.

In light of the fact that when I'm gone

you will be Maxine's only target.

No. Oh, no!

‐ Oh! ‐ That's right.

‐ I'm beggin' you. ‐ 'No.'

M‐M‐Max is your one true love.

‐ No, please! ‐ That's true girl.

You've been talking about me.

I can feel it.

Alright, what gives?

So are you staying or going?

‐ Where will you be? ‐ London.

‐ You? ‐ West of there, here.

‐ Too bad. ‐ Sure enough.

Thought you were smarter than that.

‐ Ooh, guess not. Bye‐bye. ‐ Your loss.

I just got reservations at Donald Trump's new restaurant.

I guess I have to go with somebody else.

Don't forget your girl.

Hey! Break out your Swiss Obie knife. I got breakfast.

Look at all with your "Cast Away" self.

How you land this big boar?

Oh, I had to move fast.

The tide almost washed him

off the beach but I gotcha.

Uh‐huh! Huh?

Well, might be better

if we don't eat this particular fish, baby.

Oh.

‐ He sank real fast, didn't he? ‐ Yeah.

You know something..

If I have to be stranded for the rest of my life

without a glimmer of hope, I'm glad it's with you.

Hm, thank you, my marooned mama.

‐ You know what? ‐ What?

I don't care if we do get rescued.

Me neither.

Oh, a rescue chopper.

We gettin' up out of this hellhole.

Hey! Look at me!

[both screaming]

(Obie) Thank you. Thank you.

I told you we can go home.

[all cheering]

Oh, no.

May I have your attention, please?

Uh, this is an unauthorized gathering.

Well, I didn't know I had to pull a permit to party.

You have to clear..

You have to clear all gatherings in the common area with moi.

All sanctioned events are subject

to guest list approval by moi.

But this moi pays one‐third of the rent.

Oh, just hack up the French language.

You just wait till Khadijah hears about this.

Get your hot nachos here, baby.

Get 'em while they're hot.

Why do I feel like I just walked into Hooters?

Why don't you go suck the fun out of somebody else's party?

Now look.

These undesirables and their little ring leader must go.

Look, you can't just kick Trip out.

I'm shocked. Why? 'Cause the queen said so?

And now look, all of you everybody..

Look who finally came to my party.

Hi, sweety. I'm Regine.

Yes, I am. Yes, I am.

And I'm your hostess.

Weren't you a leading lady in one of my videos?

If you want me to be.

Yo, Trip, I know you saved me some nachos.

‐ Right? ‐ Uh‐huh. Y‐you gotta move.

Get that, Montel.

I was just gonna go and whip up some dip.

Hey! Who turned down the game, huh?

Sure, now somebody was winning.

I have to admit, if we never made it back

I would've sure missed strawberry pina coladas.

Not me, girl. I'd have still been intoxicated by your beauty.

Hey, um, are you‐you starting to get a little tired

of all this cutsie stuff?

Yeah, maybe a little bit now

that we're an old married couple.

Oh, yeah, girl, check this out.

Talked to Kyle and he's going to London without Max.

Oh, that's just so sad.

I always thought the two of them would destined to be together.

Oh, don't worry.

That fire won't go out until there's nothing left in him

but teeth and toe nails.

Oh. That must be a long time from now. Let me give you.

Yo..

Oh, Lord, sea hag alert.

Listen up you stragglers, I have your bill

for the helicopter rescue.

‐ No checks or money orders. ‐ Um‐mm.

You know what you can do with that bill, lady?

Oh, honey, honey, let me handle it.

Yes, honey, honey, let her handle it.

Handle it.

What my husband is trying to say here

is that we've had enough of your stank attitude.

'Let me tell you something.'

If you so much as breathe on our honeymoon

we will tie you to an anchor and drag your butt off some car.

You hear me?

I mean, you really don't have to get ugly.

But it is an interesting method.

You know you could have a future on this cruise line.

Oh, really?

Yo..

I don't care if he is your seeing eye dog.

He does not get a life jacket.

Well, where were we, Mr. Jones?

About to start our new life together, Mrs. Jones.

You know, that was kinda cutsie

and I liked it.

‐ Let's go to the room. ‐ Come on.

(male announcer) 'Final boarding call for Flight 462 to London.'

Say goodbye, Khadijah.

I don't want to.

‐ Bye, big brother. ‐ Bye, Boo.

‐ I love you. ‐ I love you too.

Stop that plane!

Please, Barker.

Well, look who finally came to her senses.

Yeah, n‐no freak that, um..

I just want to give you one more chance..

To get over yourself and stay.

Why don't you get over yourself and get your butt on this plane?

Oh, you smooth talking bastard.

You are making a big mistake, Maxine.

That way you're making a bigger one.

Look, I‐I'm, uh..

I'm not going to get into this competition thing with you.

Not this time.

Damn, I'm gonna miss you.

I'll miss you more.

Oh, come on!

Kyle..

Can't you give a girl a kiss?

[sighs]

You okay?

Oh, yep, I will be.

Well, I'm not.

What are you doing with my toothbrush?

There was a spider, I had to flick it.

Hey, hold up. Does this mean you going to London?

Or just robbing us blind as usual.

Taking a ride out to Vegas.

I cashed in Kyle's ticket

and now I'm gonna go party with a pair of one eyed jacks.

You know what, you need to face it, Max.

You blew it.

I blew it? No, Kyle blew it.

Let me tell you something, he had a chance

to wake up every morning to this face saying I love you

and he hopped on a plane.

Where's the logic in that? Where's the justice?

No justice, no peace.

You know how much you need, Max.. You need closure.

I know I sure do.

Now I am sick to death of men

who love themselves more than they love me.

Mm‐hm. Those selfish bastards.

Let me tell you about that nacho eatin' Montel Jordan did.

He slips me a note.

I think it's his phone number.

Oh, but no.

It's his stank autograph.

Why is everybody trying to give me their autograph?

I mean, well, do I, do I look like some groupie?

‐ Well, I, uh‐‐ ‐ Max, don't. No, please.

Let her have her little Angela Bassett moment.

You know, I‐I'm just gonna flush that autograph

right to the Hudson.

So, Vegas, huh?

That's right.

And don't try to stop me, mother.

Hey, I'm through tryin to tell you what to do.

I just want you to put 20 down on 6 the hard way.

Can you do that for me?

Goodbye, to fickle men.

From now on, it's about me.

Ooh, that's new.

Shut up.

And come on, it's your turn.

Okay.

Now you know this is just stupid, right?

‐ Do it. ‐ Alright, okay. Alright.

If it'll shut you up, fine.

From now on, I'm not gonna let my job run my life.

Uh, p‐pardon me. But that's my toothbrush.

No, it's a symbol of oppression.

Here's a key to Kyle's apartment.

And now that door..

That door led to nowhere.

You know what, from now on

Maxine Shaw is her own woman.

‐ Alright. ‐ Oh, yeah.

You know, I think it'd be a little bit more dramatic

if we just torch the whole toilet.

What's up?

This is what you women do

when you go to the bathroom together.

Uh, I guess what we discuss in bathroom rules next.

Stop lookin', girl.

With hind parts like that, who‐who needs rules?

Well, now, you need at least one rule.

Never flush the toilet when somebody's taking a shower.

[screams]

Flush it again, see if he runs out of there.

Oh!

Never flush the toilet

when somebody's taking a shower.

Don't you do that, girl don't you dare! We're busy.

Don't you do it!

Obie and I had a fight. Carry on.

(female ♫1) 'Woo‐hoo.'