Original subtitles

You're absolutely right.

[laughs]

[crying] All my baby birds have left the nest.

Synclaire is your only baby bird.

May I have my moment, please?

Having successfully covered the ugly blemish on her face

the maid of honor returns to the party

where she'll, no doubt

offer some words of wisdom.

If you're looking for Max, you'll find her in the closet

with a busted up camcorder next to her.

Maxine, what a thoughtful wedding gift.

Endless hours of rambling footage punctuated

by grating commentary.

Watch it or I'll shoot you from an unflattering angle.

Meaning, I'll work your face into this shot.

Excuse me, uh, Madam Videographer

but maybe my baby sister

might wanna say a few words to the soon‐to‐be‐wed.

‐ Hook her up. ‐ Oh!

Alright, come on, girl, we're burning tape.

Okay, okay, okay.

Congratulations, Overton.

Even though I know when mom gets here tomorrow

she'll probably start in on her chorus of.

"It's you turn now, Olivia.

Time to find a man before your eggs dry up."

[chuckles]

Whoo!

Alrighty, everybody.

It's 24 hours until the ceremony.

That means, it's time for you two to say bye‐bye

until you exchange vows.

So, when we see each other at the alter

it'll be like we're meeting for the first time

and, and thinkin'

"Man, this is moving fast."

Well, Sweet Pea

time for your last kiss as a unmarried woman.

Okay.

Oh, when you're 50 years old

and too weak to pucker, you'll thank me for this.

Come on. Get in there.

Slip her the tongue. Slip her the tongue.

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a nineties kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What ♪

♪ Keep your head up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Check check check it out ♪ ♪ Single ♪

♪ Do what you want, girlfriend cause it's your world ♪

♪ Haaa ♪

‐ You want to see? ‐ Sure. Let me see what you got.

Two kings and a three women.

Hush. That's what I'm talking about.

I gotta say, Overton, you're pretty sturdy for a guy

who's about to walk the plank tomorrow.

Yeah, that's 'cause I got a life preserver of love

called Synclaire, thanks to you.

You know what, I sure hope your wedding

turns out better than mine.

See, the bachelor party was the night before.

Bourbon and barbecue till sun up.

I must've had too much of both

'cause 30 seconds after I kissed the bride

I was hugging the commode.

[laughs]

Uh, uh, how about a hot leg?

Uh, no, after that picture you just painted

I'll have a sip of water. Thanks.

That's the thing about weddings. Something always goes wrong.

‐ Always? ‐ Oh, yeah.

My best man lost the ring.

To this day, Lilah still hasn't forgiven me

for slipping my wayward nephew's nipple ring around her finger.

Ouch.

Look, I'm gonna go.

See, 'cause the hot tub at the hotel close at 9:00.

I want to get in a couple of more hours

of smokin' and soakin'.

I'm gonna take these legs.

‐ Okay? ‐ 'Okay, okay.'

I'm right behind you.

Lilah wants to go sightseeing

which, roughly translated, means, Bloomingdales.

(Overton) 'Okay. See you tomorrow, dad.'

Well, Kyle..

My last night as a resident of this here loft.

I'm just glad Synclaire and I found a little love nest

right here in the building, though.

You know, Overton, man, I really envy you.

I mean, you're about to start a lifelong relationship

with a woman who really loves you.

Whereas I am stuck in a twisted relationship

with the devil's half‐sister.

Yeah, but you keep on eating

in hell's kitchen though, don't you?

You know, I just wish Max was mature enough

to accept a real relationship, you know?

I take it she wasn't phased when you told her

about your job offer in London, huh?

‐ I didn't tell her. ‐ What?

Well, man, every time I came close

I just pictured her staring at me with those bullet eyes

saying, "So, the freak what?"

Hey, as long as you two have known each other

she's got to develop some kind of feelings for you.

Hell, even a grizzly bear can be taught to cuddle.

Yeah, man, maybe you're right.

I'll tell her about London tonight.

Hell, what have I got to lose?

I already lost my dignity the first time I slept with her.

[laughs]

♪ I don't ♪

♪ Think that I can take it ♪

♪ 'Cause it took so long to bake it ♪

♪ And I'll never have ♪

♪ That recipe again ♪

♪ O‐o‐o‐o‐h ♪

♪ O‐o‐oh no‐o‐o ♪

Thank you.

[cheering]

‐ Alright. Alright! ‐ Thank you.

I'm gonna miss this room.

All the laughter that was laughed.

All the dreams that were dreamt.

The toe‐curling sex with Obie.

I just can't believe that Synclaire

is the first one to get married.

I always thought it would be Regine.

[voice breaking] Me, too.

Ladies and gentlemen, the tears of a spinster.

I have done everything

to make myself eligible.

I've‐I've read every book.

I've‐I've‐I've kept myself looking..

Look at me.

‐ Oh, my. ‐ Oh!

‐ Hey, watch it. ‐ Oh, oh!

‐ Hey, now. ‐ Alright, okay.

What am I doing wrong?

What about Russell?

[groans]

Well, he certainly has a love Jones for you.

Be true.

Russell... is not marriage material.

Unless I wanted my first son

to come out hittin' on the nurse.

[toilet flushes]

I can't think of a more appropriate time to share this.

Marriage is for fools.

'A wise person once said'

"Men are good for two things.

Sperm and support."

Well, you can go to a bank for sperm

and strap on a bra for support, so..

[blows a raspberry]

Max, that is a bunch of crap.

Now, if you met the right man, why wouldn't you make that move?

I don't see you jumpin' to tie the knot with Charles.

Well, Charles and I are over.

Considering his schedule

the only way we'd ever spend time together

is if I went in for another operation.

Khadijah, he is a doctor.

If, if it means getting you engaged

a little elective surgery

ain't such a bad thing.

Goodnight.

I'm happy for you, girl.

Ooh, I gotta go to the corner for some beer.

Oh, Regine, I thought you left.

Oh!

[laughing]

Wait a minute.

There's plenty of beer in the fridge, missy.

Not the kind I like.

I know what you're thirsty for.

A deep brown locker

with a full body and a smokin' jacket.

Barker beer.

[both laughing]

‐ You know about this, too? ‐ Oh, please.

We all know about it. Please!

‐ Everybody except Regine. ‐ Mm.

Isn't that ironic? Don't you think?

[chuckles]

Admit it, Max.

You can't get the man out of your system.

And don't tell me it's just the sex.

You can call it whatever you like.

It's not gonna end up at the altar. You can freak that.

You can just freak it.

I'm going to get some air.

♪ MacArthur's Park ♪

♪ Is melting ♪

♪ In the dark ♪

All the sweetie.

Come on, zero hour. Let's go.

♪ I gotta get all this wedding talk ♪

♪ Off of my mind ♪

Come on, baby. Let's go.

Look, Max, let me tell you somethin'.

No, come on, sing, sing.

‐ Max, Max.. ‐ You never sing..

‐ Max, Max, Max. ‐ Let's go sing.

There's something I gotta tell you.

Look, um, my firm is opening up offices in London

and they have asked me to head 'em up.

‐ London? ‐ Yeah.

[British accent] As in the land of fish and chips, huh?

Yeah.

Um, I haven't given them the answer yet.

I was kinda wondering what you thought about it.

As a matter of fact, uh

an old law school buddy from Philly

has asked me to be a partner in her firm.

Max, is this another one of your little petty mind games?

Get over yourself. You're not the only hotshot on the block.

W‐wait, wait. C‐can we just cut the charade for a minute, huh?

Damn, I mean, I‐is our relationship

nothing but sex?

Well, granted, it's good sex

but, damn, nothin' but sex?

No.

We occasionally punctuate it

with boring exchanges like this one.

So, that's all you got to say, huh?

Good luck on your new job.

You, too.

I'm headed back to the church.

I got just enough time to get a quick prayer in.

You're gonna say a prayer for Synclaire and Obie?

Please, I got bigger fish to fry.

I've realized with all of my husband‐hunting this year..

Thanks.

I've overlooked my strongest resource.

The almighty.

Yeah, God should be your full‐time love connection.

Bump world peace and famine.

Hey, don't forget to put some lotion on them legs.

Ah, hello, Maxine.

[British accent] Cheerio, mate.

‐ What's that supposed to mean? ‐ Nothin'.

Tally‐ho and all that rot.

Well, I'll be damned.

The maverick is wounded by the news

of my departure to London.

[both chuckles]

The Brits are going to love you.

They're big on pomposity.

I'm gonna let you have that last dig

as a goin'‐away present.

You give my regards to the city of brotherly love, yeah?

Oh, I will.

Every single brother.

[exhaling]

Heh‐heh, you and Kyle pull an all‐nighter?

Nope, he was puffin' about some job offer

he got in London, so I fired back

that I was gonna go work for my girl in Philly.

Hey, Max, why do you treat this thing

with you and Kyle like a game you have to win?

What if he's the one?

There is no one for me, Khadijah.

That stuff for people like, uh.

Synclaire and Overton.

I, I am more evolved.

Yeah, well, I hope you don't find yourself

a old woman in a house full of cats

dialin' 911 for company.

Ooh, last time I'll touch this bannister

as a single woman.

Last time I'll touch this wall as a single woman.

Last time I'll see you stare at me

with that confused look as a single woman.

Last time I'll touch this sofa as a single woman.

And now, he is ready to meet his bride.

[exhaling]

Or‐or his maker.

You have not eaten anything in over 24 hours.

Don't you want a candy bar or somethin'?

Oh, man, I‐I'll eat when I get married.

I don't wanna kiss my new bride

with nougat between my teeth.

And about that ring.

I got it, Overton. Man, relax.

‐ I am relaxed. ‐ Mm..

‐ I'm the picture of relaxation. ‐ Uh‐huh.

Hell, if I was any more relaxed

I'd probably just pass out.

Girl, I don't know how I'm gonna do it.

Walking down the aisle in heels.

Draggin' that big old train.

[sighs] Tryin' to see relatives through all this gauze.

[chuckling]

Oh.

Ooh, you're getting married.

Why you leavin' me with Regine?

‐ Oh. ‐ I'll miss you, boo.

Oh, oh, woo‐woo‐woo, boo.

Woo, woo, woo, boo.

I mean, no matter how much we say

things won't change, they will.

You'll call less and less.

And then the letters will stop.

But, but I'll see you when I come downstairs

from my apartment, right?

I guess.

Alright.

‐ Oh. ‐ Oh.

Bye, Synclaire James.

You feelin' any better, son?

Yeah, a little bit, rev.

Uh, look, I'm not gonna get, uh, struck by lightning

and nothin' for scarfing down these communion wafers, am I?

[chuckles] Don't you worry about that.

Uh, I haven't blessed them yet.

Well, in that case, can I get a swig of wine?

There'll be plenty of time for that after you're married.

‐ I'll see you at the altar. ‐ Alright.

[sighs]

You're not nervous, Overton, are you, man?

‐ Give me that. ‐ Yeah, I'm nervous, man.

My parents haven't showed up.

I‐I just passed out, and I still ain't seen that ring.

Here, look. Satisfied?

Man, I hope I'm not this jittery the day of my wedding.

Yeah, that's 'cause you'd be too busy arguin' with Max

over who's gonna wear the tux.

‐ Max? ‐ Yeah.

I mean, tragic as it is, shorty

she's your destiny.

What have we here?

A brick house in the house of the Lord.

Hey, Russell.

Have I ever thanked you for that lunch we had the other day?

That was six months ago.

And I gave you the chance to thank me properly

but you kept your clothes on.

Baby, don't run off like that. I missed you crazy.

Regine, Tanya.

Tanya, Regine.

Charmed.

[chuckles] Ah, come on, Russell.

Let's see how our names look together in the guest book.

A man can't wait forever, Regine.

(Max) 'Hey, girl.'

Aren't you the sorriest‐looking fireplug on the street, girl?

You look tore up. What's wrong with you?

Oh, you're pathetic, you know that.

Phony concern from somebody

who only cries when we run out of Miracle Whip.

I care.

And to prove it, here's something

that's sure to cheer you up.

Kyle and I have been seeing each other for months.

But it's over now

and you missed every freaky‐sneaky detail.

Oh. And everybody knew, but you.

Alright, ladies, one minute.

[door slams]

‐ Oh, hi, Khadijah. ‐ Hey.

Uh, Max, can I talk to you for a minute?

Alright..

Uh..

Look, after all we've been through

it doesn't seem right to end on such a sour note.

So I just wanted to tell you that, uh

I really have enjoyed knowing you.

Despite our numerous psychotic episodes.

Knowing you hasn't been entirely stomach‐turning.

[chuckles]

Well, anyway, um, I have decided to take that job in London.

‐ Onward and upward. ‐ Yeah.

So, um, if you ever feel like

legally driving on the wrong side of the road

give me a call.

I love you.

Wh‐what?

Huh?

Come on, you guys! Come on.

We got 30 seconds. Let's go.

Hey, try and walk like a lady.

Go.

[whispering] Max, stop it!

Excuse me. I just can't stop staring at you.

Would you like to have dinner sometime?

Desmond Howard?

Yep, I'm Overton's cousin, Smoke Eye's son.

Oh. Oh, save me a dance at the reception.

Oh, thank you.

You're good and you're fast.

Whoo. Okay.

Alright, boo, I'm goin' in.

Alright, you warm up the crowd for me, okay?

Okay. Okay. Y'all watch my back.

Keep me company.

[instrumental music]

(Synclaire) 'Okay.'

Now, you make sure you walk real slow, okay?

I know, you want to savor the moment.

That, and I'm afraid of slippin'

on all those rose petals out there.

[laughing] I love you.

Oh, I love you, too, daddy.

Come on.

["Wedding March" plays]

This is so beautiful.

[sobbing] Yes, it is.

Now, I gotta get Regine hitched

so she can get some beans in that oven.

Okay.

Dearly beloved

this is indeed a glorious day.

Come on, shake a leg, Otis.

Our pumpkin's about to tie the knot.

Odelle, I told you.

Travel by bus is cost‐effective and timely.

Fine. You take the bus back. I'm flying.

Two of God's children, Overton and Synclaire

'are going to be joined as one.'

And now the maid of honor and best man

will pay tribute to our blessed couple

with a song written by Brother Kyle.

[instrumental music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ My love for you has no boundaries ♪

♪ I give you my heart I give you everything ♪

♪ Yes I do ♪

♪ All I want is forever ♪

♪ You and I as one ♪

♪ You and I as one ♪

♪ With you I feel inspired ♪

♪ To love for a lifetime ♪

♪ And I'm proud to say ♪

♪ On our wedding day ♪

♪ I do I do ♪

♪ So with this ring ♪

♪ I commit to you ♪

♪ Till death do us part ♪

♪ That you'll still have my heart ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ I'll be good to you ♪

♪ I said I do to only you ♪

♪ For the rest of my life ♪

♪ My love for you grows endless ♪

♪ 'Cause you bring out the best in me ♪

♪ For the rest of my life ♪

♪ I'm wanna be your wife ♪

♪ My love is true and so I do boy ♪

♪ Take my hand ♪

♪ Oh girl ♪

♪ From the depths of my soul ♪

♪ From the bottom of my heart I need to tell you ♪

♪ That I love you ♪

♪ I need you ♪

♪ I love you I need you ♪

♪ For all time ♪

♪ So with this ring ♪

♪ I commit to you ♪

♪ Till death do us part ♪

♪ That you'll still have my heart ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ I'll be good to you ♪

♪ I said I do to only you ♪

♪ For the rest of my life ♪

♪ For the rest of my life ♪

And by the power vested in me

I pronounce you husband and wife.

Go on and do your thing.

Hey, mama, you in there?

[chuckling] Yes.

[congregation cheering]

(Reverend Taylor) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.

Mr. and Mrs. Overton Wakefield Jones.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

Whoo‐hoo!

[woman chuckling]