Original subtitles

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT, WHAT IS THIS?

CHICKEN LEG, CHICKEN...

I ORDERED CHICKEN WINGS, NOT CHICKEN LEGS.

WELL, NEITHER DID MAX, BUT THAT'S WHAT GOD GAVE HER.

LET ME STIR THAT FOR YOU.

HEY, SORRY I'M LATE.

BUT I WAS DETAINED BY AN AMOROUS METER MAID.

YOU KNOW, IT'S HARD TO REFUSE A PHONE NUMBER

WHEN IT'S WRITTEN

ON THE BACK OF YOUR PARKING TICKET.

SO THEY'RE GIVING OUT TICKETS FOR UGLY NOW, HUH?

OH, POOR MAXINE.

JUST JEALOUS

BECAUSE THE LAST PHONE NUMBER SHE GOT

WAS TO A PAY PHONE AT RIKERS.

WHEN DID YOU CUT OFF THE GUYS AT ATTICA?

( laughing )

WAIT, WAIT. HOLD UP.

IF MAX HASN'T GONE OUT ON A DATE IN THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS

IT'S BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT.

THANK YOU, KHADIJAH.

'COURSE IF SHE DID FEEL LIKE IT

IT WOULDN'T MATTER 'CAUSE NOBODY CALLS.

I DON'T NEED NOBODY TO CALL ME.

I CAN GET AS MANY NUMBERS AS I WANT WHENEVER I WANT.

UH‐UH.

BATHROOMS WALLS DO NOT COUNT.

I ALREADY GOT YOUR NUMBER, KYLE.

LOOK, PICK ANY MAN IN HERE‐‐

I'LL GET THE DIGITS.

OH, JUST PAVING YOUR OWN ROAD

TO HUMILIATION, AREN'T YOU?

ALL RIGHT.

UH...

HUH...

THE WAITER‐‐ JUNIOR RIGHT THERE.

PEEP THE TECHNIQUE.

OH.

YEAH, UM, MAX IS THE NAME.

NICE APRON.

LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU

GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER

AND, UH, I'LL CALL YOU SOMETIME.

SORRY, BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED.

OH, YOU MARRIED?

NO.

GAY?

NO.

NO PHONE?

EXCUSE ME.

THOSE FOLKS ARE WAITING

FOR THEIR GAZPACHO.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

A MARRIED GAY GUY WITH NO PHONE.

( laughing )

♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ SINGLE ♪

♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪

♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪

♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪ ♪ WHAT? ♪

♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪

♪ WHENEVER THIS LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪

♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪

♪ MY HOMEGIRL STANDING TO MY LEFT ♪

♪ AND MY RIGHT ♪

♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪

♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪

♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪

♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

[and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION]

( Sirens and gunfire )

OBIE, TURN THAT OFF.

REVEREND TAYLOR'S GOING TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

I DON'T WANT HIM OFFENDED BY THIS VIOLENCE.

SYNCLAIRE, HE'S TAKING THE SUBWAY OVER.

IF HE MAKES IT HERE IN ONE PIECE I'M SURE HE'LL BE RELIEVED

TO SEE CHARLES BRONSON'S ANGELIC FACE.

( Knock at door )

REVEREND TAYLOR, COME ON IN.

WELL, I COULDN'T BE MORE BLESSED.

MY FAVORITE COUPLE'S JUMPING THE BROOM

AND NOBODY EXPOSED THEMSELVES ON THE SUBWAY.

WELL, THANK YOU, REVEREND

AND WE'RE REALLY HONORED

THAT YOU AGREED TO PERFORM THE CEREMONY.

WELL, AS MOSES SAID TO THE BURNING BUSH

"IT'S GOING TO BE HOT!"

YOU SEE? YES.

I'M GOING TO HAVE A SEAT.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE WEDDING DATE AND THE VOWS

AND, OF COURSE, THE EXAM.

OH, EXAM... WELL, UH...

I JUST HAD A PHYSICAL.

MM‐MM. AND THE DOCTOR SAID THAT HE'S NEVER SEEN ANYONE

AT MY FITNESS LEVEL MORE FIT THAN I AM.

( Giggles )

NO, SYNCLAIRE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WRITTEN COMPATIBILITY TEST.

OH, COME ON, REVEREND.

YOU KNOW THAT SYNCLAIRE AND I

ARE MORE COMPATIBLE THAN CORN DOGS AND COOL WHIP.

IT MAKES A NICE LITTLE PICK‐ME‐UP.

WELL, YOU SEE, SON, IT'S NOT UP TO ME.

THE CHURCH REQUIRES THAT ALL COUPLES PASS THIS TEST

BEFORE I'M ALLOWED TO MARRY THEM.

WELL, I'M SURE WE'LL PASS THE TEST

JUST LIKE YOU AND MRS. TAYLOR DID.

WELL, THIS EXAM WASN'T AROUND WHEN WE GOT MARRIED.

WE HAD A MUCH MORE DIFFICULT TEST.

OH, WHAT WAS THAT?

WELL, SYNCLAIRE...

( chuckling )

ME AND THE MISSUS MET IN 1978.

YOU SEE, SHE DUG BARRY WHITE

AND I GROOVED TO BARRY GIBB.

YEAH.

DIDN'T EVER THINK THAT WE'D SEE EYE TO EYE.

THEN CAME SALVATION‐‐

THE WALKMAN...

AND HIS AND HER HEADPHONES.

I TELL YOU, THE LORD AND THE JAPANESE

WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

WELL, WELL...

ALL RIGHT, GREAT.

HERE'S THE DEAL.

THE WAITER'S NAME IS TIM MATTHEWS.

LAST TWO YEARS, HE'S DATED FIVE WOMEN

AND THERE IS NO HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS IN HIS FAMILY.

WELL, HONEY, THERE GO YOUR CHANCES.

YOU ARE BUGGIN'. HE'S NOT EVEN YOUR TYPE.

WHO SAID THIS IS ABOUT HIM?

MAXINE SHAW DOES NOT ACCEPT DEFEAT‐‐

NOT IN THE COURTROOM AND CERTAINLY NOT IN A BARROOM.

TO ME, REJECTION IS ABOUT AS NATURAL

AS THAT THING ON REGINE'S HEAD.

JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T GROW IT

DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY LESS NATURAL.

SYNCLAIRE, YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU USED OUR SPECIAL EMERGENCY PAGE.

I THOUGHT WE WERE ONLY USING THAT

IN CASE OF NUCLEAR ATTACK

OR IF YOU GOT YOUR HEAD STUCK IN THE BANISTER AGAIN.

WE HAVE TO STUDY FOR REVEREND TAYLOR'S TEST.

I BORROWED ALL REGINE'S RELATIONSHIP BOOKS. COME ON.

SYNCLAIRE, IT'S NOT THE KIND OF TEST YOU STUDY FOR.

THEN WHY IS THERE A SAMPLE TEST IN HERE?

LOOK AT THIS‐‐ QUESTION NUMBER ONE:

WE'RE EMBROILED IN A HEATED DEBATE

OVER A DEEP PHILOSOPHICAL ISSUE.

WHAT DO WE DO?

GO.

AGREE THAT THE FIRST LIONEL JEFFERSON

WAS THE BEST AND PRESS ON.

AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED

THERE ARE ONLY THREE COMPATIBILITY QUESTIONS

THAT TRULY MATTER.

DO YOU LOVE REGINE?

WOULD YOU DIE FOR REGINE?

IF YOU DID DIE

WOULD REGINE BE TAKEN CARE OF FINANCIALLY?

AND WOULD SHE RECEIVE PSYCHOTHERAPY...

TO KEEP HER FROM TALKING TO MANNEQUINS?

COME ON, SYNCLAIRE.

THIS TEST IS A GIMME.

OUR RELATIONSHIP IS AS SMOOTH AS GRANDPA JONES' MOONSHINE.

UH, SMOOTHER, ACTUALLY.

YOU NEVER MADE ME COUGH.

WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD STUDY.

RIGHT, KHADIJAH?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M STILL WORKING ON THAT LIONEL JEFFERSON THING.

THE SECOND ONE COULDN'T ACT

BUT THE FIRST ONE HAD THAT FUNKY 'FRO.

ALL RIGHT, OBIE, TIME FOR CHAPTER 27.

"THE HONEYMOON'S OVER, THE SCRATCHING BEGINS."

COME ON, SYNCLAIRE.

WE'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR TWO DAYS.

YESTERDAY I SPENT THREE HOURS BEING QUIZZED

ON THE FATHER'S ROLE IN BREAST‐FEEDING IN PUBLIC.

I MEAN, AT THIS POINT, I'M A LITTLE HUNGRY MYSELF.

LET'S TAKE A BREAK, OKAY?

YES, YES, MY DARLING.

HI, PEOPLE.

MAX, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO EAT WITH US

BUT BY THE LOOKS OF THAT DRESS

YOU'RE JUST GOING TO PICK SOMETHING UP.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

( Chuckling )

ALL RIGHT.

MAX...

YOU REALLY THINK THAT GUY'S WORTH YOUR

"PEEL ME LIKE A BANANA" DRESS?

THERE'S AN OLD SAYING:

"TANTALIZING IS THE TAPEWORM THAT SCORNS THE BELLY."

MAX ONLY WANTS HIM BECAUSE SHE CAN'T HAVE HIM.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

TIM IS A MAN ON HIS WAY UP.

AS SOON AS THE FRY COOK DIES, HE'S THE MAN.

HELLO, TIM.

OH, HI.

UH... UH...

MAX. MAX. MAX. MAX.

RIGHT.

MAX.

UH, WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU?

OKAY, I WILL HAVE A CHEESEBURGER

AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER.

OKAY, WE GOT ONE CHEESEBURGER...

AND ONE NO CHANCE.

HEY, LOOK, COME ON.

LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE

ALL RIGHT?

I'M A LAWYER, I LOOK LIKE THIS

I'M AVAILABLE.

DO THE RIGHT THING, MAN.

NO OFFENSE, BUT YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE BIT

TOO AGGRESSIVE FOR ME.

TOO AGGRESSIVE?

YEAH.

WELL, I CAN BE VERY LAID BACK

UH, VERY CASUAL.

LET'S GO DANCING. I'LL LET YOU LEAD.

SURE. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

YOU CAN WATCH ME...

DO "THE RUNNING MAN."

NOW HOMER WILL SCRAPE GUM FROM UNDER A TABLE

BUT HE WON'T GO OUT WITH YOU.

I LIKE HIM.

OH, CHECK THIS OUT.

THEY GOT RELIGIOUS ARCHIE COMICS NOW...

AND JUGHEAD'S PASSING OUT THE COMMUNION

AND I'LL BE DAMNED...

( quietly ): I'LL BE DAMNED IF BIG ETHYL.

AIN'T LEADING THE CHOIR.

OH, HELLO, MRS. TAYLOR.

HELLO, DEAR.

MY HUSBAND ASKED ME TO TELL YOU

IT'S GOING TO BE A FEW MORE MOMENTS.

HE'S BAPTIZING QUINTUPLETS

AND RAN OUT OF WATER.

OOH, ARCHIE.

ISN'T IT INSPIRING HOW MOOSE

FINDS THE MISSING COLLECTION BASKETS?

EH, WHAT'S A COMIC BOOK WITHOUT SUSPENSE?

YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING ANYWAY.

SYNCLAIRE, MY BRAIN IS FULL.

NOW I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE YOUR MENOPAUSE, MY MENOPAUSE

AND HOW TO KEEP THE PILLOW TALK ALIVE

IF WE BOTH GET STRUCK DEAF OR DUMB.

BUT, OBIE, WHAT IF THERE'S A HIDDEN FLAW

IN OUR RELATIONSHIP?

SYNCLAIRE, IF I'M UNDERSTANDING YOU CORRECTLY‐‐

WHICH IS NEVER A GIVEN‐‐

UM...

YOU'RE HAVING DOUBTS ABOUT US?

MAYBE I'D BE MORE CONFIDENT

IF YOU TOOK THIS TEST AS SERIOUSLY AS I DO.

WELL, MAYBE IF YOU HAD MORE FAITH IN OUR RELATIONSHIP

YOU WOULDN'T TAKE THIS TEST SO SERIOUSLY.

AHH, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK

TO READING YOUR COMIC BOOK

AND FIND OUT IF BETTY GETS MARRIED TO PIGPEN.

PIGPEN'S A "PEANUT"...

NOT AN ARCHIE.

WELL, IF THERE'S A SECTION ON THIS TEST

CALLED "WHO GIVES A RAT'S BUTT?"

I'M SURE WE'LL PASS WITH FLYING COLORS.

YOU WANT TO GO THERE, HUH?

OH... I'M ALREADY THERE, JUST HOPING YOU WON'T SHOW UP.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

LET ME TELL YOU...

WELL, WELL, WELL.

HOW'S THE HAPPY COUPLE?

READY TO TAKE THE TEST?

YES. VERY READY.

YEP, I'M TWICE AS READY AS SHE IS.

COME ON. LET'S GO.

"THE COUPLE'S CUMULATIVE TOTAL OF .008

"WAS THE LOWEST RECORDED SCORE

SINCE THE INCEPTION OF THE EXAM."

I‐I‐I CAN'T EVEN FATHOM THIS.

I MEAN, YOU TWO PRACTICALLY HAVE THE SAME MIND.

SYNCLAIRE, JUST YESTERDAY

YOU DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU WERE HUNGRY FOR CHINESE OR ITALIAN

AND OVERTON WALKS IN

TALKING ABOUT RESERVATIONS AT KUNG PAO CORLEONE'S.

WAIT, WAIT, LET'S JUST SURVEY THE DATA, SHALL WE?

NOW, THE FIRST QUESTION WAS

"IF YOU FOUND OUT

"YOUR SPOUSE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?"

SYNCLAIRE ANSWERED

"HOPE HE WOULDN'T RUSH HOME

AS TO NOT INTERRUPT MY TIME WITH THE GARDENER."

DOH...

OVERTON'S ANSWER WAS

"VIDEOTAPE IT AND SUE HER CHEATING BUTT."

OBIE, THE ONLY WAY

I'D HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH THE GARDENER

IS IF YOU WERE THE GARDENER

AND YOU WERE MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE.

AND IF I WAS THE GARDENER

I'D DIVORCE MY WIFE

AND MAKE AN HONEST WOMAN OF YOU.

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY, TOO, OKAY?

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT REVEREND TAYLOR?

DON'T LOSE HOPE, BABY.

HE'LL LET US TAKE THE EXAM AGAIN.

ALL WE GOT TO DO IS EXPLAIN THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

I DON'T KNOW, OVERTON.

I DON'T EVEN THINK A MAN OF GOD

COULD FORGIVE YOUR ANSWER TO NUMBER 14.

OH, SNAP, WE REALLY ARE COMPATIBLE.

I SAID, "BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW UP YOUR CAR" TOO.

( Screams )

HEY, GIRL, LOOK WHO'S CHECKING OUT A BOOK

FROM MY SELF‐HELP SECTION.

"WHERE'S WALDO AND WHY CAN'T HE COMMIT?"

MAX, THOSE BOOKS ARE FOR DYSFUNCTIONAL LOSERS.

N‐NO OFFENSE, REGINE.

ALL RIGHT!

THIS WHOLE THING WITH THE WAITER TIM

IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!

I MEAN... GOSH, I MEAN

WHERE'S HE GET OFF CALLING ME AGGRESSIVE?

HE'S LUCKY I DIDN'T THROW HIM IN A HEADLOCK.

YOU KNOW, MAX, AS MUCH AS I ENJOY SEEING YOU IN PAIN

IT IS STARTING TO BORE ME, SO I'M ABOUT TO GIVE YOU

REGINE'S SUREFIRE HOOK‐UP STRATEGY.

WELL, I MUST BE DESPERATE

'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO LISTEN TO YOU.

YOU SEE, LADIES, THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF MEN.

THE FIRST TYPE WANTS YOU TO TAKE CHARGE.

THEY ARE SO AFRAID OF REJECTION

THAT THEY WAIT UNTIL YOU MAKE THE EFFORT.

YEAH, YEAH, THE WIMPS AND THE LOSERS‐‐ GO ON.

THE SECOND TYPE ARE HUNTERS.

THEY ARE IN IT FOR THE CHALLENGE.

JERKS AND THE MORONS ARE.

IF YOU PURSUE A HUNTER

THE CHASE IS OVER.

YOU ASKING FOR TIM'S PHONE NUMBER

IS LIKE A DEER WALKING UP TO A HUNTER

AND NIBBLING ON THE BARREL OF HIS RIFLE.

REGINE, I DON'T THINK

YOUR TIGER BEAT WISDOM IS GOING TO HELP MAX.

SHE AND THE WAITER TIM ARE NOT MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.

SHUT UP, KHADIJAH.

GO AHEAD, REGINE.

YOU HAVE GOT TO LET THE WAITER TIM

SEE THE RESERVED, SENSITIVE, FEMININE SIDE OF YOU.

SHE MEANS IF YOU BELCH, DON'T IDENTIFY THE SMELL.

I'M GOING TO GO DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW

AND SHOW THAT JACKASS JUST HOW SENSITIVE I CAN BE.

COME ON, REGINE, LET'S GO.

MAXINE, WHEN YOU CLIMB UP THE MOUNTAIN TO TALK TO THE GURU

SHE DOES NOT CLIMB BACK DOWN WITH YOU.

HERE HE COMES.

JUST WATCH MY SENSITIVE SIDE.

OKAY...

OH, IT'S... YOU.

WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

MANY CHOICES, WAITER.

WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND?

( Gasps )

DID YOU FEEL THAT?

A WARM FEELING

JUST PASSED BETWEEN US.

IS IT ME? IS IT YOU? COULD IT BE US?

LADY, DON'T MAKE ME MOVE OUT OF NEW YORK, OKAY?

WELL, FOLKS

THOSE HOT WINGS ARE REALLY STARTING TO KICK IN.

I'LL BE BACK IN ABOUT FIVE.

MAX, NOW LISTEN...

I CONSIDER US TO BE FAM.

SO I FEEL AS THOUGH I CAN TELL YOU THAT

YOU'RE MAKING A COMPLETE ASS OUT OF YOURSELF.

NOW, COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, PLEASE?

YEAH, YEAH

KHADIJAH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEAVE.

THIS AIN'T GOING TO BE PRETTY.

WHA...?

( Playing one note repeatedly )

♪ WHEN I WAS YOUNG ♪

♪ I NEVER NEEDED ANYONE ♪

♪ AND MAKING LOVE WAS JUST ♪

( Changes note ): ♪ FOR FUN ♪

♪ I GUESS THOSE DAYS ARE GONE ♪

( Hitting guitar )

♪ ALL BY MYSE‐E‐ELF ♪

♪ DON'T WANT TO BE ♪

♪ ALL BY MYSELF ♪

♪ ANYMORE ♪

NO!

♪ ALL BY MYSE‐E‐ELF ♪

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE...

♪ ALL BY MYSELF ♪

♪ ANYMORE. ♪

NOW, THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.

LOOK...

IF I GAVE YOU MY NUMBER

IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU'D GIVE ME A CALL?

OKAY.

I'LL CALL YOU.

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

NOW, BLOW IT OUT YOUR BUS BOX.

I DON'T GO FOR DESPERATE MEN.

COME ON, KHADIJAH.

LET'S GET UP ON OUT OF HERE.

HELLO, REVEREND.

I‐I'M SORRY WE'RE EARLY.

WE WERE REALLY ANXIOUS TO TALK TO YOU.

OH, DON'T YOU FRET, SYNCLAIRE.

I DON'T THINK SATAN

COULD HAVE TAKEN TOO MUCH MORE.

WHOA‐HO‐HO‐HO‐HO!

UH, UH, REVEREND

ABOUT THE EXAM.

I KNOW WE DIDN'T EXACTLY IMPRESS THE CHURCH

WITH OUR STORY.

"IMPRESS THE CHURCH"?

SON, YOU SIGNED YOUR NAME

OVERTON "BETTER DEAD THAN WED" JONES.

WELL, SIR, THERE'S A PERFECTLY GOOD REASON

FOR OVERTON'S NOT‐SO‐FUNNY NOM DE PLUME.

LET ME HAZARD A GUESS.

YOU TWO HAD A SPAT BEFORE THE EXAM

AND THEN TURNED ON EACH OTHER LIKE CAIN TURNED ON ABEL.

I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

SO, IF YOU JUST LET US TAKE THE EXAM AGAIN

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, WE'LL ALL BE DODGING RICE.

OVERTON, SYNCLAIRE, I'D LOVE TO MARRY YOU TWO

BUT THE FACT IS I CAN'T.

YOU SEE, THE BISHOP, WELL, HE'S, UH...

A REAL STICKLER ON CHURCH POLICY, YOU SEE

AND BESIDES, HE HOLDS THE MORTGAGE ON OUR HOME.

SYNCLAIRE'S COUNTING ON YOU MARRYING US

AND IF IT'S IMPORTANT TO HER, THEN IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME.

I‐I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU, SON, BUT MY HANDS ARE TIED. I...

OH! THERE ARE OUR TWO LOVEBIRDS.

NOW, YOU BE SURE AND GET ME THAT ORGAN MUSIC EARLY.

I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG, BUT I CAN POUND OUT

A PRETTY ROUSING VERSION OF "BOOGIE OOGIE OOGIE."

UH, HOW'S YOUR VERSION OF "TAPS"?

WHAT?

THE REVEREND CAN'T MARRY US

BECAUSE WE FAILED THE COMPATIBILITY TEST.

YOU TWO FAILED?

NOW, THIS JUST PROVES

WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG, LESLIE.

THAT TEST IS A CROCK.

YOU KNOW THE BISHOP

IS A FERVENT BELIEVER IN THAT THERE TEST.

WELL, I'M NOT LISTENING TO THE BISHOP

TILL HE FIXES OUR TOILET.

CAN'T THEY TAKE IT AGAIN?

NOBODY WILL KNOW.

I WON'T SAY BOO.

LOOK, DON'T YOU TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB.

I DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO PLAY

THAT RAGGEDY ORGAN OF YOURS.

IT'S NOT HALF AS RAGGEDY

AS THAT COUCH YOU'LL BE SLEEPING ON TONIGHT.

EXCUSE ME.

I DON'T WANT TO SPEAK OUT OF TURN

BUT SEEMS TO ME IF YOU ALL TOOK THAT TEST RIGHT NOW

I DON'T THINK YOU'D MAKE THE HONOR ROLL.

POINT TAKEN.

HOWEVER, THE ARGUMENT BETWEEN YOU TWO

DOES CONCERN ME.

THEN AGAIN, THE ARGUMENT BETWEEN MY WIFE AND ME

CONCERNS ME A LITTLE MORE.

ANYONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN HELL

HASN'T SLEPT ON THAT COUCH.

YOU AND THE MISSUS

STILL LOVE EACH OTHER, DON'T YOU?

OH, I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE COUCH.

YOU CAN SLEEP IN THE TUB.

ALL RIGHT.

IF YOU TWO WILL ENROLL

IN A LITTLE PREMARITAL COUNSELING

WELL, UH, I'LL FIND A WAY TO LET YOU RETAKE THE TEST.

Synclaire: OH, REALLY?

IT IS FREE, RIGHT?

OH, ABSOLUTELY FREE.

YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT WITH A HOLY STICK.

Synclaire: AMEN.

OH, OBIE, I'M SO HAPPY.

THEY REMIND YOU OF US WHEN WE WERE STARTING OUT.

FULL OF LIFE.

YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT.

READY TO GRAB THE WORLD BY THE TAIL.

AND NOT GIVE IN TO THE PLEASURES OF THE FLESH

UNTIL THAT MAGICAL WEDDING NIGHT.

OH, WILL YOU LOOK AT THE TIME?

WE'VE REALLY GOT TO GO.

WE'LL SEE YOU.

[Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]

WOO‐HOO!