Original subtitles

NOT GUILTY... NOT GUILTY...

NOT GUILTY... NOT GUILTY...

NOT GUILTY... NOT GUILTY...

( sighs )

GUILTY.

WHAT?

SARAH McQUEEN IS GUILTY.

AND APPARENTLY, I AM THE ONLY SANE PERSON ON THIS JURY.

GOOD. THEN WE CAN ALL PLEAD INSANITY

WHEN WE KILL YOU.

DAMN STRAIGHT. I'VE HAD MARRIAGES

THAT DIDN'T TAKE AS LONG AS THIS DELIBERATION.

CONSIDERING YOUR LITTLE ATTITUDE, I'M NOT SURPRISED.

WELL, ANOTHER DAY SHOT.

LET'S GO HOME, KICK THE DOG

AND RECONVENE TOMORROW MORNING.

UNLESS ONE OF US GETS HIT BY A BUS.

AND REMEMBER THE JUDGE'S ADMONITION

NOT TO DISCUSS THE CASE WITH ANYONE.

EVEN IF YOUR FAMILY WONDERS

WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO YOUR WIFE'S GRAVE LATELY?

IT AIN'T LIKE SHE GOING ANYWHERE.

♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ SINGLE ♪

♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪

♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪

♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪ ♪ WHAT? ♪

♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪

♪ WHENEVER THIS LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪

♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪

♪ MY HOMEGIRL STANDING TO MY LEFT ♪

♪ AND MY RIGHT ♪

♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪

♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪

♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪

♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

[and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION]

OH, I KNOW, HAROLD, I KNOW.

SOMETIMES, LIFE DOESN'T COOPERATE WITH OUR PLANS

BUT REMEMBER, DISAPPOINTMENT ENDS IN OINTMENT.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

OINTMENT HEALS.

WHAT'S CONFUCIUS JACKSON UP TO?

HA HA.

"ACTORS HELPING ACTORS."

IT'S A CRISIS HOT LINE FOR UNEMPLOYED ACTORS.

SHOULDN'T SHE BE ON THE OTHER END OF THAT PHONE CALL?

SHOULDN'T YOU BE

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET?

MY BABY IS MORE THAN QUALIFIED

TO MAN THOSE PHONES, OKAY?

SHE HAD AN HOUR AND A HALF OF INTENSIVE TRAINING

PLUS A REFRESHER COURSE IN PHONE HYGIENE.

REMEMBER, IT TAKES 52 MUSCLES TO FROWN

AND ONLY 19 TO SMILE.

NOW, YOU DO THE HAPPY MATH.

PEACE OUT.

SO HOW'S HAROLD DOING, MY CURVACEOUS COUNSELOR?

NOT BAD, NOT BAD.

HE STILL THINKS EVERYBODY'S OUT TO GET HIM

BUT HE'S BEGINNING TO TRUST HIS CAT AGAIN.

Kyle: HEY, REGINE.

HOW'S JURY DUTY?

KYLE, NOW, YOU KNOW I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT

AND BESIDES, I ALREADY TOLD YOU ALL:

I'M ON SOME BORING OLD TRIAL

THAT NOBODY WOULD BE INTERESTED IN.

MM. I GUESS THEY MATCH THE CASE WITH THE JUROR.

TOO BAD YOU AIN'T ON THAT SARAH McQUEEN CASE.

MAYBE YOU COULD STRAIGHTEN OUT THAT IDIOT JUROR

THAT'S HOLDING UP

THE DAD‐GONE VERDICT!

I‐IDIOT...?

WELL, NOW, WHY DO YOU THINK

THAT SHE'S... OR HE'S... AN IDIOT?

WELL, REPORTEDLY

SOMEONE ON THAT JURY IS CONVINCED

THAT KINDHEARTED OLD WOMAN

COULD BURN DOWN HER OWN HOUSE.

EVEN THE PROSECUTOR ENDED HIS CLOSING ARGUMENT WITH:

"ON THE OTHER HAND, I COULD BE WRONG."

Overton: WHO AMONG US DIDN'T GROW UP LOVING SARAH McQUEEN.

IN HERE COMES MRS. BENCHLEY, GET OUT THE WAY.

Kyle: MRS. BENCHLEY.

AN ARSONIST. YEAH.

AND WHEEZY JEFFERSON SHOT J. F. K.

Khadijah: OOH, WHEEZY JEFFERSON!

( laughing and talking at once )

YOU GUYS, NOW, SARAH McQUEEN.

IS THE WOMAN ACCUSED OF THE CRIME.

MRS. BENCHLEY

IS JUST A CHARACTER SHE PLAYS.

DON'T CONFUSE THE ACTOR WITH THE ROLE.

YEAH.

TELL THAT TO TOOTIE.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT...

NO, NO, NO, REGINE.

SHE REALLY IS SWEET.

WHEN I INTERVIEWED HER

SHE BROUGHT A MARBLE CAKE...

AND GET THIS...

HAD HER THREE ADOPTED CAMBODIAN ORPHANS SING

"I WILL SURVIVE."

SARAH McQUEEN IS GUILTY!

OR COULD BE GUILTY...

I WOULDN'T KNOW.

( Woodenly ): I'M NOT ON THAT JURY.

STOP LOOKING AT ME.

LOOK, THERE'S NOT ONE SOLID PIECE OF EVIDENCE

LINKING SARAH McQUEEN TO THE CRIME.

PLUS... 15 PEOPLE TESTIFIED ON HER BEHALF

INCLUDING THE ENTIRE CAST OF MY MOTHER, THE BOAT.

WHEN THE FIRE BROKE OUT

McQUEEN WAS ON A RED CROSS PLANE TO BOSNIA.

DELIVERING MEDICAL SUPPLIES AND HOMEMADE PEANUT BRITTLE.

AND YOU CALL THAT AN ALIBI?

I HAVE YET TO HEAR ONE GOOD REASON

WHY SARAH McQUEEN IS GUILTY.

I HAVE GIVEN YOU SEVERAL, AND HERE COMES ANOTHER:

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME AN INNOCENT WOMAN

WORE NUDE PANTYHOSE TWO SHADES DARKER THAN HER OWN COMPLEXION?

HOMEGIRL IS HIDING SOMETHING.

LIVER SPOTS.

SHE'S 73.

SHE BURNED DOWN HER HOUSE FOR THE INSURANCE MONEY!

YOU HEARD THE PROSECUTOR SAY THAT SHE HASN'T WORKED

SINCE SHE STARRED IN WHOOPS, I'M THE PRESIDENT.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES, THE JURORS IN A CASE‐‐

THEY FORM A REAL BOND AMONGST THEMSELVES

AND AFTERWARDS, THEY GET TOGETHER

TO TALK OVER OLD TIMES

AND SHARE NEW EXPERIENCES... BUT NOT ON THIS CASE

BECAUSE I HATE YOU.

I SECOND.

LET'S VOTE ON THAT. HANDS?

Overton: OKAY, BABY GIRL.

LET'S TEST IT OUT.

OKAY.

RING, RING.

ACTORS HELPING ACTORS.

WHAT IS YOUR CRISIS?

( Chiding tone ): OH, NOW, SYNCLAIRE.

DON'T PLAY WITH A LOADED PHONE IN THE HOUSE.

KHADIJAH, THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

HAROLD IS ONE OF MY DAILY CALLERS.

I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM SINCE WEDNESDAY.

WELL, MAYBE HE FOUND A JOB.

OR MAYBE HIS PHONE GOT CUT OFF.

OR MAYBE HE KILLED HIMSELF.

OH, COME ON!

LIKE YOU GUYS WEREN'T THINKING THAT.

YEAH, MAYBE SO

BUT WE WERE ABLE TO SNAP OUR MOUTHS SHUT

BEFORE SOMETHING STUPID CAME TUMBLING OUT.

BUSTED AGAIN! ALL RIGHT, SO, WHAT IS IT?

SHOES OR SHIRT?

EH... SHIRT.

WELL, HELLO, MADAM JUROR.

HAVE YOU DISCHARGED YOUR CIVIC DUTY TODAY?

NO. STILL DELIBERATING.

THOSE ROCK HEADS.

YOU GOT AN IDIOT HOLDOUT ON YOUR JURY TOO?

YOU KNOW, FOLKS

THERE ARE OTHER THINGS GOING ON IN THE WORLD

BESIDES JURIES, HUH?

MAD COW DISEASE‐‐ AREN'T THE COWS STILL MAD?

STOP LOOKING AT ME.

YOU GUYS, I HAVE SOMETHING

I HAVE GOT TO GET OFF MY CHEST.

( laughs )

STOP THAT.

NOW, IF I TELL YOU, SWEAR IT WILL GO NO FURTHER.

OH, OF COURSE, REGINE.

WE'LL EVEN DO A PINKY SWEAR.

NOW, HOLD ON, MAMA.

LET'S SEE WHAT SHE GOT FIRST.

I AM ON THE...

VERGE OF BUYING A NEW DRESS.

HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?

I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

I DON'T KNOW.

LISTEN.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE

MACARONI AND CHEESE OUT OF A BOX

YOUR BEST BET IS COUNT MACULAS.

PLEASE! COUNT MACULA WOULDN'T KNOW CHEESE

IF A MAD COW DELIVERED IT TO HIM.

SEE, REGINE? I WORKED IN YOUR TOPIC.

I'M THE HOLDOUT JUROR ON THE McQUEEN CASE!

YOU KNOW, WHEN I MAKE

MY FAMOUS BARKER MACARONI AND FROMAGE

I USE ONLY THE FINEST AGED CHEDDAR

WITH JUST A HINT OF GOUDA, AND THEN YOU...

DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

I'M THE IDIOT HOLDOUT THAT WANTS McQUEEN LOCKED UP.

WHAT?

YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?

YOU'RE...

THE IDIOT?

THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY IS SAYING ABOUT ME!

I'M ON THIS BIG, CONTROVERSIAL CASE

AND I CAN'T EVEN DEFEND MYSELF.

I CAN'T EVEN GET ON THE COVER OF PEOPLE.

FREAK THAT. YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO DISCUSS THE CASE.

YOU WANT ME DEAD, IS THAT IT?

YOU JUST WANT ME TO EXPLODE TRYING TO HOLD THIS JUICE IN.

YEAH, WELL, IT SEEMS THE JUICE IS LOOSE.

ALL RIGHT, I...

I'M NOT GOING TO TELL ANYBODY ELSE.

JUST MY IMMEDIATE, INTIMATE

CIRCLE OF TRUSTED FRIENDS.

AND MAX.

AND THE JUDGE.

WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU VIOLATED HIS ORDERS.

NOW, EITHER YOU TELL THE JUDGE WHAT YOU'VE DONE

OR AS AN OFFICER OF THE COURT

I AM OBLIGATED TO DO IT.

I MEAN IT.

LAST NIGHT

ONE OF THE JURORS INFORMED ME THAT SHE DISCUSSED THE CASE

OUTSIDE THE JURY ROOM.

OH, GOD! NO! WHO?

WHAT THE HELL!

( Gavel pounding )

LET ME FIRST SAY THAT SUCH UNSOLICITED HONESTY

IS BOTH RARE AND REFRESHING...

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE HEINOUS NATURE

OF HER TRANSGRESSION.

THIS TIME

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK THAT THE JUROR COME FORWARD.

YOU BETTER GET ON UP THERE, GIRL.

MISS HUNTER!

DON'T MAKE ME USE THE MAGIC HAMMER.

OH, IF SHE KNEW THEY'RE NOT GOING TO LET HER

TAKE ALL THEM WIGS TO THE BIG HOUSE.

I WISH I HAD THE POWER

TO SENTENCE A CITIZEN TO SHAME.

BUT, ALAS

I DO NOT.

COULD I GO NOW?

JUST ONE MORE THING.

I FIND YOU IN CONTEMPT OF COURT

AND SENTENCE YOU TO...

EXCUSE ME, YOUR HONOR!

MAXINE SHAW, PUBLIC DEFENDER AND PARK SLOPE ALDERWOMAN.

YES, MISS SHAW.

I'D LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT THE JUROR IS A SOLID CITIZEN

WITH COMMUNITY...

MISS SHAW! YOU ARE AN OFFICER OF THE COURT

AND A PUBLIC OFFICIAL AND YOU'RE TELLING ME

THAT YOU KNOW THIS SIMPLETON?

I REQUEST MY NAME AND COMMENTS BE STRICKEN FROM THE RECORD.

YOU SAVE YOURSELF, GIRL.

DON'T YOU GO DOWN WITH THAT SHIP!

YOU KNOW IT'LL SINK!

I HEREBY DISCHARGE YOU FROM THIS JURY...

( exclamations of relief )

AND SENTENCE YOU TO 50 HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE.

I HAVE MADE ARRANGEMENTS FOR YOU TO BAKE BREAD

WITH THE BROTHERS OF SEBASTIAN MONASTERY.

THEY HAVE TAKEN A VOW OF SILENCE.

THE STATE CAN'T SEEM TO GET YOU TO SHUT UP.

PERHAPS GOD CAN.

NOW, IF THE REMAINING JURORS

ALONG WITH THE ALTERNATE

WOULD EXCUSE THEMSELVES AND BEGIN DELIBERATION.

I FEEL SORRY FOR THE POOR ALTERNATE THAT HAS TO CONTEND

WITH THIS GROUP OF ROCK HEADS.

YOUR HONOR!

WE'VE REACHED A VERDICT.

WE FIND SARAH McQUEEN NOT GUILTY.

NO! NO! IT'S A MISTAKE!

IT'S A MISTAKE!

Y'ALL CHECK UNDER HER WIG FOR MATCHES!

IT'S A MISTAKE!

SARAH McQUEEN... GOD IS WATCHING YOU.

( Gavel pounding )

OH, HEY, KYLE.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS DRESS RIGHT HERE.

FRANKLY, I NEVER PICTURED YOU IN ANYTHING BACKLESS.

IT'S A WEDDING DRESS FOR SYNCLAIRE, OKAY?

OH, IN THAT CASE, I SUGGEST SOMETHING SHORT

TO SHOW OFF HER LEGS.

AND TO REDUCE THE LIKELIHOOD OF TRIPPING.

OH!

OBIE! I FOUND HAROLD!

HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT, MY PRECIOUS PRIVATE EYE?

WELL, THE LAST TIME HE CALLED

HE SAID HE WAS DROWNING

HIS SORROWS IN A HOT LINK AND PASTRAMI SANDWICH.

SO YOU FOUND HIM IN AN EMERGENCY ROOM

GETTING HIS STOMACH PUMPED?

KYLE, LET THE MYSTERY UNFOLD.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

I REMEMBER THAT HAROLD LIVED DOWNTOWN NEAR THE "F" TRAIN.

SO I GO DOWN THERE AND I FIND BIG MAMA'S HOT LINK HEAVEN.

NOW BIG MAMA NOT ONLY KNEW HIM

SHE RENTED HIM THE ROOM UPSTAIRS.

DAMN! APARTMENT ABOVE HOT LINK HEAVEN

GOT TO BE ONE GREASY STAIRCASE.

SO, HE WASN'T AT HOME

BUT HIS NEIGHBORS SAID

HE HAD GONE OUT TO GET SOME AIR.

PROBABLY TO ESCAPE THE STENCH

OF ROASTING SWINE.

I GO TO A NEARBY PARK AND WHO DO YOU THINK

IS SITTING ON A BENCH EATING A HOT LINK SALAD?

THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE?

NO! HAROLD!

WHEN HE REALIZED WHAT I HAD GONE THROUGH

HE SAID HE WOULD PUT ALL HIS DESPAIR

BEHIND HIM AND START LIVING FOR TODAY.

ALL RIGHT, SYNCLAIRE, YOU KNOW, THAT'S BRILLIANT SLEUTHING.

TELL ME SOMETHING, WHERE ARE YOUR SUNGLASSES?

YOU KNOW, FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK THAT.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THEM ALL DAY!

THAT'S AMAZING.

I AM AN INTERNATIONAL JOKE.

A CAMERA CREW HAS FOLLOWED ME INTO THE LADIES ROOM.

AND A SPANISH COUPLE CAME UP TO ME...

TWO TOURISTS...

'CAUSE THEY WANTED TO TAKE A PICTURE

WITH SENORITA BLABBERMOUTH.

HEY, YOU GUYS DON'T THINK

I HAVE A PROBLEM, DO YOU?

WELL, REGINE, YOU FAM.

SO, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT FAIR FOR YOU TO ASK A QUESTION

LIKE THAT, POINT BLANK AND EXPECT AN ANSWER.

REGINE, YOU'RE A GOSSIPY, DIRT DEALING, HUMAN BULLHORN.

WE'RE NOT THAT CLOSE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE AGREE WITH THOSE IDIOTS OUT THERE!

OH, REGINE... IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF.

YOU LIKE A BLABAHOLIC.

I HAVE TO GO UPSTAIRS AND FIND AN OUTFIT

THAT'S APPROPRIATE FOR BAKING BREAD WITH MONKS.

DON'T FORGET YOUR PUSHUP BRA.

OH, YES, MAX, SURE.

I'M JUST GOING TO STRUT AROUND A GROUP OF CELIBATE MEN

WHO HAVEN'T SEEN A WOMAN OF MY CHARMS IN YEARS.

HEY! THIS COULD BE FUN!

NOW, KHADIJAH

THIS IS THE DRESS I WAS THINKING ABOUT FOR YOU

EXCEPT WITH A DOUBLE RUFFLE AROUND THE WAIST.

NOT UNLESS IT COMES

WITH A MATCHING BAG TO PUT OVER MY HEAD!

( Doorbell rings )

GOOD EVENING. I'M LOOKING

FOR SYNCLAIRE JAMES?

WHY, I'M SYNCLAIRE JAMES.

HI. I'M PATRICK O'MALLEY. I WORK WITH HAROLD.

OH, YES, ALL RIGHT! COME IN AND SIT DOWN!

I WANTED TO TELL YOU WHAT A GREAT THING YOU DID FOR HAL

LIFTING UP HIS SPIRITS AND ALL.

OH, THAT'S WHAT ACTORS HELPING ACTORS

IS ALL ABOUT.

ACTORS HELPING ACTORS.

I WISH THEY HAD A HOT LINE FOR BRIDESMAIDS

IN BOOTY‐ASS RUFFLES.

WE WASH WINDOWS TOGETHER

AND I HADN'T SEEN HIM IN A WHILE AND I GOT WORRIED.

THEN THE OTHER DAY, HE SHOWED UP WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE

AND SAID HE WAS GOING TO FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE THINGS

IN LIFE... BECAUSE OF YOU.

BECAUSE OF ME?

THEN WE GOT ON THE PLATFORM AND STARTED OUR WAY

UP TO THE 62nd FLOOR.

HE STARTED TO DANCE FOR JOY AND HE SHOUTED OUT

"I'VE GOT LIFE, LIFE DOESN'T HAVE ME!"

HEY, THAT'S ONE OF YOUR HOT LINE MOTTOS

ISN'T IT, BABE?

REMINDS US THAT WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR OWN DESTINIES.

THEN HE SLIPPED AND FELL TO HIS DEATH.

WHAT?

ARE YOU SURE?

WELL, THEY TOOK HIM AWAY

IN TWO AMBULANCES, SO...

THAT MUST HAVE BEEN ONE HELL OF A CHALK OUTLINE.

I'M SORRY, BABY.

I GUESS IT WAS HAROLD'S TIME.

DON'T BE TOO SAD.

WELL, IT'S FUNNY. I DO FEEL SAD.

BUT I ALSO FEEL STRANGELY ELATED.

I MEAN, MAYBE BECAUSE OF ME, HAROLD IS MEETING HIS MAKER

WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE.

AND TO THINK

WHEN HAROLD TOLD ME ABOUT YOU

I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM.

YOU AIN'T ALONE, BUDDY.

LISTEN, CAN I CALL YOU SOMETIME IF I'M FEELING DOWN?

OH, ARE YOU AN OUT‐OF‐WORK ACTOR TOO?

EXOTIC DANCER. I KIND OF LET MYSELF GO.

CALL ME!

GOSH! I REALLY FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PURPOSE, YOU KNOW?

LIKE I'M JUST BURSTING WITH LIFE.

OH!

OBIE?

WANT TO GO UP TO YOUR PLACE?

UM, SWEETNESS, A MAN IS DEAD.

I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.

I, UH, SHAVED MY LEGS THIS MORNING.

LET'S MOSEY.

LET'S GO!

ISN'T LIFE WONDERFUL?

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM?

SOMEBODY DIED.

WELL, THEY HAD A BETTER DAY THAN I DID.

KHADIJAH, EVEN IN A MONASTERY, I COULD NOT KEEP MY TRAP SHUT.

I WAS BAKING BREAD WITH THIS MONK

WHEN I TOLD HIM HE WAS WAY TOO FINE

TO BE DRESSED LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES.

NEXT THING I KNOW, I'M OUTSIDE

WITH A SANDAL PRINT ON MY BEHIND.

YOU MACKED A MONK?

THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR YOU.

LET'S FACE IT, I'VE BEEN A BLABBERMOUTH MY WHOLE LIFE.

DID YOU KNOW THAT MY FIRST WORDS WERE "DA DA"?

NO, NOT BECAUSE I RECOGNIZED HIM

BUT BECAUSE MOMMY WANTED TO KNOW WHO SPILLED JUICE ON THE CARPET.

THAT'S NOT REALLY BEING A BLABBERMOUTH.

THAT'S MORE LIKE A TATTLETALE, STOOL PIGEON, A SNITCH.

A RAT FINK.

THE POINT IS...

THE POINT IS, I NEVER OUTGREW IT.

AND NOW, UNDERNEATH ALL MY STYLE AND GRACE

I AM STILL THIS INSECURE LITTLE GIRL.

IT'S LIKE I NEED TO STILL SAY:

"I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW."

JUST TO FEEL IMPORTANT.

THAT'S PATHETIC.

ALL RIGHT, REGINE, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

SARAH McQUEEN WAS CAUGHT RED‐HANDED SETTING FIRE.

TO A 7‐ELEVEN.

WHAT? NO!

THE GUY GAVE HER THE WRONG CHANGE

SO SHE GRABBED THE "JERRY'S KIDS" DONATION BUCKET

FILLED IT WITH LIGHTER FLUID, LIT IT

HURLED IT AT A COMIC BOOK CAROUSEL.

THE PLACE WENT UP LIKE A TORCH. THERE WERE NO INJURIES.

MRS. BENCHLEY DON'T PLAY!

YEAH, HER HUSBAND SAID SHE'D BEEN SUFFERING

FROM DEPRESSION EVER SINCE THEY VOTED ANGELA LANSBURY

"SEXIEST SENIOR CITIZEN."

YOU KNOW, THAT JURY SHOULD HAVE LISTENED

TO YOU.

OH...

OH, THANK GOD.

I ALMOST THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME!

BUT NOW I KNOW THAT GOD HAS PUT ME

AND MY BIG MOUTH HERE FOR A REASON.

TO PISS OFF MONKS?

NO, FOR REAL, KHADIJAH!

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO BLAB.

I AM A PURVEYOR OF INFORMATION.

A DIVA OF DISH.

A GABRIEL OF GOSSIP FOR ALL WHO HEAR MY TRUMPET.

HEY, MAX. YOU KNOW HOW YOU'VE BEEN SPORTING

THESE PONYTAILS?

WELL, YOUR GIRL KHADIJAH SAID

ALL YOU NEEDED WAS SOME FRECKLES

AND YOU'D LOOK LIKE AN URBAN PIPPI LONGSTOCKING.

KHADIJAH, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

UH, UH, UH.

NOW, BEFORE YOU GET TOO UPSET

REMEMBER, THE OTHER DAY, YOU SAID KHADIJAH'S LATEST HAIRDO

LOOKED LIKE ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN.

UM, EXCUSE ME.

WHY ARE YOU SPILLING ALL OF THIS DIRT?

IT'S WHAT I DO.

[Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]