Original subtitles

(Overton) Previously on "Living Single."

This is the ring I designed for my Synclaire.

Oh, you designed it.

It's like no other engagement ring you ever seen.

Russell, what are you doin' here?

Well, I was in the neighborhood and we're being sued for libel.

What?

Remember my article on that new band, Belching Yams?

I wrote there could be no denying their song.

"Everybody has a Nipple"

was a rip off of Barry Manilow's "Mandy."

Well, it seems there's some denyin' it.

The Borough Alderman elections are being held next month

and the incumbent Paul Malaba has been a disaster.

Will you carry the torch of democracy for us?

Sure.

(all) Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!

And Regine! And Regine!

You gotta focus on the, on your good points, you know.

Focus on things like, what good taste you have in women.

You delicate flower.

I didn't know you cared!

(man on TV) 'Maxine Shaw, the so called nympho candidate'

'and her steamy ties to Kyle Barker'

'a rising Wall Street funds manager.'

Gimme all your valuable stuff or you're dead.

Overton, give that man anything he wants.

Thanks, brother. Whoo!

I'll be right back, Synclaire.

Just remember that, um, I love you.

‐ Come on, girl. ‐ I love you too.

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Oh in a 90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up what ♪

♪ Keep your head up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪

♪ Check check check it out check check check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Haa ♪

Hi, I'm Synclaire, your waitress.

Can I get you some coffee.

Or perhaps some cheese

or some cake?

Maybe some coffee cheese cake? Maybe some‐‐.

Synclaire, you have gone from trippin'

to a full vacation.

Now, honey, please, sit down, okay.

The police said that they would call

as soon as they heard anything.

No‐no, I've got to stay in character

to keep my mind off Obie.

Uh, so what will it be, miss?

Alright, I'll have a large nonfat milk.

Um‐hm, one tall Kate Moss.

White and skinny.

[doorbell ringing]

[Synclaire mumbling]

‐ Oh, Obie, thank God! ‐ Hey!

‐ Hey! ‐ There you are, you okay?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Everybody this is Officer Solis.

‐ NYPD.. ‐ Okay.

Mounted unit.

I was so worried, what happened? Tell me everything‐‐.

Look‐look‐look, if‐if you people don't keep it down

somebody's gonna call the poli.. See.

Kyle, we were mugged in Central Park.

‐ No, man! ‐ Yeah!

And I took off after the mugger on horseback.

Let me tell you, nothin' like riding a horse at full gallop

hooves pounding, leather slappin'

me wishin' I would've wore my athletic supporter.

Yeah, and then the horse caught up with the mugger

held him down for the cops.

With our job done she just kinda dumped me off in the rosebush.

Mr. Jones was so ensnarled

we had to use the pruning sheers of life.

Well, did you find the man's valuables?

Oh, nearly lost my valuables ridin' the damn horse.

All we found on the suspect was a handgun

but we're searching the area, little lady.

Oh, it's good to know the posse is on it, horse.

That never fails.

The equestrian police, we get no respect.

I'm sure any cop can lock himself up inside a cruiser

and call for backup.

But me, I'm out there every night

puttin' my horse's ass on the line.

Well, Obie, you've had a terrible, terrible time.

Just glad the night's not over yet, my electric horseman.

Well, uh, that's where you're wrong, my beloved

'cause if I don't get some rest soon

I may never be able to saddle up again.

And if I don't get my eight hours

I'll look like the average man.

[whispering] Come here.

So‐so‐so, listen, man, did the mugger get the,

get the ring? Oh!

Man, I didn't get a chance to pop the question?

Damn. Well‐well, look, let's go back to the park, man

and look for it.

Kyle, Central Park, 2:00 a. m.?

You'll be killed.

Well, good.

Have you seen the evening news?

I'm practically the running mate of Maverick Max

the nympho candidate.

Ugh.

Kinda ironic.

I can't get with Synclaire and you can't get away from Max.

I guess into each life a little rain must fall.

Well, sure, he gets sprinkles.

I get Hurricane Maxine.

Come on, Khadijah, we're gonna be late.

I'm not goin' in today.

Max is bringin' over a liable lawyer

to talk about this Belching Yams lawsuit.

And I do not want the staff to know how much trouble we're in.

Great, then I can stay home and watch TV.

Rosie O'Donnell is interviewing Oprah

and then they're gonna switch.

You are goin' into the office

and act as if nothing is wrong.

Ah, so everyone will think everything's normal.

Well, not normal, but, you know

the way things are when you around.

Oh, I'm on it, chief.

[doorbell ringing]

Hello, Khadijah. Synclaire.

What lawsuit?

Max and her friend aren't here yet.

Just have a seat, I'll be right back.

So, Khadijah, when did we get a doggy door?

Don't worry, depressed under D cup.

I'm here to see Khadijah.

We're tryin' to save the magazine.

Oh!

[sighs]

On the other hand to hell with "Flavor."

Alright, listen, I've been thinkin'.

And, I want us to agree that what happened last night

never happened.

Agreed!

What are we talkin' about?

Oh, that's excellent.

You see, no one has to ever know about the kiss.

Oh.

Oh, that.

Yeah, I‐I know it won't be easy.

No problem at all.

Though you have to admit it was some kiss.

Like a thousand others.

Oh, get off it, Russell.

Now, you know damn well that there was a spark in that kiss.

A‐a‐a volatile chemistry, pure passion!

I've forgotten all about it and you better do the same!

Just the way I like her.

Chesty and testy.

[doorbell ringing]

Khadijah James. Del Stuart.

Del is a great liable lawyer and the best negotiator in the city.

Would you like some coffee?

Espresso.

I don't have espresso, how about some regular coffee?

‐ Drip? ‐ Yes.

Alright. I'll accept the drip if you throw in an Oreo.

No name chocolate sandwich cookie.

You're lucky I'm in a good mood.

Look‐look, I can't stay. I gotta go, I gotta go, girl.

I gotta go dig up some dirt on Paul Malaba.

Regine! You are my campaign manager.

Can you manage to help me with this?

No, dear, ex‐campaign manager.

See, because of you my woman's group has

pulled their endorsement and shunned me.

Just because of a little heat.

Uh, Max, I would not call it a little heat.

When Playboy offers you $5000 to be in their photo spread.

"Ladies Of The Immoral Majority."

Well, if they don't make the five grand

and Adopt‐A‐Highway

I'd be stupid not to do it.

Uh, remember you can see them

they can't see you.

Speak as you were instructed.

Um, give me all your valuable stuff

or you're dead.

Give me all your valuable stuff or you're dead.

I say, give me all your valuable stuff

or I'll give you the old "what for?"

Don't be a wise guy, number three.

Gimme all your valuable stuff or you're dead.

That's him! That's the guy!

(Synclaire) 'Oh, Obie, are you positive?'

Yeah, I know, that's him. I'm positive.

‐ Him. That guy! ‐ Good.

You..

[gabbering]

Ohh! Get me at him! Get me at him!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

But you don't know what kind of life I've had, lady.

Abandoned by my mom and dad.

Raised in an orphanage.

Fed nothing but one stinking bowl of gruel a day.

And then I fell in with a band of pickpockets.

I remember Fagan. He led a‐‐.

Oh, bro, that's "Oliver Twist."

I knew it sounded familiar.

Get me at him! Get me at him! I'll tear you limb for limb!

Oh, Obie, I'm mad. I'm mad, you see!

Alright, Khadijah.

I have evaluated the lawsuit from every conceivable angle

and I've arrived at a studied conclusion.

Break it down for me.

Certainly.

You lose.

[sighs] Isn't there anything we can do?

Yeah, settle outta court

and, uh, as a gesture of good faith, fire Russell.

You're fired. Uh‐huh.

I know how hard that was for you.

But there's no need to fire me. I'll quit.

Alright, now, I want you to meet with the Yams

and their attorney right here, it'll make you seem warm

human, that kind of crap.

‐ I can pull that off. ‐ Excellent. Excellent.

Alright, I guess I can get the Yams to walk away

from this for, uh, little as $10,000.

Ten Gs.

Where am I supposed to get that?

I presume the same place you're getting my $5000 fee.

Well, then that's it.

Whether we got to court or settle

that's the end of "Flavor."

It's a bitter pill.

Khadijah, I don't know what to say. I wish there was‐‐.

Tsk, forget it, Russell.

It's not the end of the world.

I can deal with it.

I guess I just gotta be strong.

[crying]

Alright. Alright.

Wait, it's your fault.

Hm.

I guess this was a little self‐indulgent.

Shee.

Oh, God!

Hey, been tryin' to reach you for over an hour.

Your phone's not workin'.

I got tired of talkin' to reporters about

Paul Malaba's latest allegation.

What, did they find out about the time we went

to the stock exchange and you said that

my Dow Jones was more than average?

[chuckles]

No.

He made up some wild story that I was seen nude

at some costume party in 1991.

I was dressed as Nero.

You try cinching up a toga with a beer in one hand

and a stogie in the other.

Hey, you know the real tragedy is that my name has been

linked to yours in the media.

‐ Oh, you slimy piece of‐‐ ‐ Oh, ja, va, ja, hush.

Now, you need to know that I am working

a Wall Street contact

who has evidence of Malaba's misuse

of government funds.

For real?

I'm on my way to his office in a few minutes.

Well, if I could get evidence like that

to the media, Malaba is finished.

So, you think you can call a press conference for tonight.

[phone ringing]

Maxine Shaw.

Oh, hello, Miller.

How are things at the diaper you call a newspaper?

Yeah, well, chill the freak out, Miller, look

I'm callin' a press conference at 7:00 p. M. At which

I will respond to Mr. Malaba's charges

with a shocking development of my own.

Be here. And ride the maverick.

Ah, thank you, Kyle.

You know, I guess it's true.

Politics do make strange bedfellows.

[chuckles]

Maxine Shaw, you were a strange bedfellow

long before politics.

Now, how long will this little Q and A gonna take?

Uh, just a few questions

and you'll be out of here in a jiffy.

‐ Last name? ‐ Jones.

No, if I were an O..

Where would I hide.

Well, you know something officer.

I'm a professional secretary

why don't you scoot on over and I'll have

these forms done toot sweet.

‐ Yeah. Come on, mama. ‐ Yeah.

Alright.

Oh‐oh, wait now, that's a zero.

Just let that dry.

And therefore we see no need to drag this minor matter

before a jury.

Are you suggesting my clients put aside their sense of justice

in exchange for money?

Because it's a mighty good suggestion.

How much are we talkin' about?

As a symbolic gesture we're willing to offer $500.

‐ A 150,000. ‐ 10,000.

I'm good to go.

[indecipherable squeaking]

Can we get on some kinda payment plan?

Say 48.50 a month for the next 17 years.

Here they are, man.

The Belching Yams.

The Belching rotting

festering, Manilow stealing Yams.

Russell, are you drunk?

Because that will numb the pain

when I snatch them hairs off your chest.

Wait, man. Wait.

I knew these gaseous sweet potatoes were rip‐off artists.

So, I spent the last five hours in a recording studio

analyzing the song.

Now, here's how it sounds on a CD.

♪ Ouch ouch I'm just gonna gouch ♪

♪ Ouch ouch I have rocks in my pouch ♪

First I remove the backin' vocals.

I stripped away the signal processin'.

[instrumental music]

And I equalized the mid‐range frequencies

and brought up the piano.

[instrumental music]

Then all I had to do was run the tape backwards.

♪ Oh Mandy ♪

♪ Well you came and you gave without taking ♪

♪ But I sent you away oh Mandy ♪

♪ And you kissed me and stopped me from.. ♪

I hereby withdraw my $10,000

and instead offer each of you a complimentary kick in the ass.

Oh, why don't we just pay your legal fees and call it even.

If you come up with the eight grand fine.

Russell, how would you like to call me boss lady again.

‐ Ah! ‐ Um, it'll be a pleasure.

And for only a small raise, boss lady.

We'll talk about that later.

Right now, I'm going to the precinct

and let Synclaire know "Flavor" is not dead yet.

Come on. Yes!

You mama, y'all, get the hell out of my house.

You eat up, on me, alright? Good for you.

[chuckles] Get the hell.

What the hell are you doin' here?

Well, when I heard about this press conference

I figured that you were resigning from the race

so I rushed right down to gloat.

[chuckles]

You know what? Good, stick around.

When you hear what I have to say you'll feel as dumb

as you look in that hat.

May I have your attention please.

Yes!

Over the course of this campaign

my opponent Paul Malaba

has said some pretty shocking things about me.

But what I have to say about Mr. Malaba

is even more shocking.

And this is the man who has that

'shocking, shocking evidence.'

Evidence that will shock you!

Uh, Malaba's people destroyed all the evidence.

You do not have one shred of proof.

Um, hi.

[chuckles]

Uh.

Fact is, uh, every word

that Paul Malaba has said about me is true.

[all gasping]

But what does that really say about me?

‐ That you are a freak. ‐ That I'm a woman.

With a passion for life?

Guilty.

That I'm a woman who's willing to go all the way

to get what she wants over and over again

even when those around her are exhausted and spent?

Then I'm guilty.

My record proves I have nothing to hide.

I say to the people of Brooklyn

a vote for Maxine Shaw is a vote for openness

passion and endurance.

When I say "Ride the maverick"

I mean it.

[applause]

[all] Ride the maverick! Ride the maverick!

(Kyle) 'Giddy up!

Giddy up! Giddy up! Giddy up!

[typewriter keys clacking]

Ah, good news, Mr. Jones.

Forensics has just recovered what may be your property.

Oh, for real.

Oh, is it all there, Obi.

Damn right, it is, mama.

Even the most important thing.

I'm not taking any chances on losin' it this time.

Look, Synclaire, got somethin' I want to say to you.

And I wanna say it right here and I'm gonna say it right now.

‐ Baby, I‐‐ ‐ Synclaire.

[chuckling] "Flavor" is gonna be okay.

The Belching Yams dropped the suit.

Oh, congratulations Khadijah!

Girl, you won't believe it‐‐.

Khadijah, that‐that's just lovely but I got

somethin' I want to say to Synclaire.

Oh, but I got big news. Man, did you‐‐.

No‐no, baby, I think I got bigger news.

But I want to tell her the whole story.

‐ Oh, go ahead, what happened? ‐ I'm tellin' you‐‐.

Khadijah, hush up.

Matter of fact, everybody just hush up.

Now, Synclaire, ever since I could remember

I had a vision of the perfect woman.

Uh, the way she looked, the way she talked

the way she walked.

Even her favorite kinda hot cereal.

Then I met you.

And you were nothin' like the vision.

But, fate just proved how wrong a man could be.

It brought me the perfect woman and now I want to spend

the rest of my life saying "Thanks fate."

So, uh, Synclaire, will you, um..

Will you marry me?

Uh.. Uh, yes. Yes!

Yes.

[laughing]

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, Obie!

Oh, Obie, it's so beautiful.

I'm never ever, ever, ever, ever taking this off.

‐ Oh! ‐ Ever, oh.

Oh, congratulations. I love you all.

Oh, let's just go home and tell everybody the good news

my fine fiance.

After you my beautiful betrothed.

Future father to be.

‐ Soon to be squaw. ‐ Good one.

I hope they adopt.

(Maxine) Don't go away, we'll be right back.

This isn't easy. Wait a minute, number three.

'She looks familiar.'

Okay, we're through here.

You, son of a gun!

[screaming]

Man, no‐no. Now, you know what?

I'm alright, man, I'm alright. I'm cool.

‐ Thank you. ‐ Okay.

Compose myself.

[screaming]

(female ♫1) Woo‐hoo!