Original subtitles

‐ Hey, Kyle. ‐ Oh, what's up, dawg?

What's up, my precious little pruner?

‐ Muah. ‐ Muah.

Hey, ain't it time for your favorite game show?

"Queen For A Day" hosted by RuPaul.

Oh. No, no, no. Not for another hour.

Hmm.

Oh, well, um..

Can you make me some toast?

Absolutely.

Kyle, would you like some toast as well?

English muffin, please.

‐ Butterin' only the nooks. ‐ Okay.

Oh, very sly, Overton.

The toast request was a stroke of genius.

‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ So, what's up?

Well, I wanted you to be the first to know.

I'm gonna ask Synclaire to marry me.

Alright, look, I‐I know you're shocked

'cause the Obie schedule love doesn't have me proposing to her

for another six to eight months

but, hey, man, my heart couldn't wait no longer.

Wait, wait, Overton, when, when that last girl

rejected your proposal, you told me

that you would cut out your tongue

before you asked another woman to marry you.

Well, now I can look back

and see the humor in that desire to mutilate myself.

Look, man, just‐just so you know that when you get married

it is for the rest of your life, right?

That is day in and day out.

Until you die, and they bury you side by side.

In the same plot.

Yuck!

Man..

Decomposing with my baby forever.

Man, that's beautiful.

That's sick.

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough you gotta fight with ♪

♪ My home girls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue Tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ What you want ♪

♪ No free position girl ♪

♪ Haa ♪

Ooh! Beef bourguignon..

Croissant!

Hey, I know you and Keith like all these stuff

but since when do your mama eat fu‐fu‐fu?

She'll eat it.

All I have to do is tell her

it's something like sawmill stew

and horseshoe biscuits.

Last week's meatloaf.

‐ Who's this for? ‐ Max!

It'll keep him from grabbing a fork

and pulling a chair right up to the stove.

Keith meeting your mom. Sounds serious.

Well, it's more of a precautionary measure.

I mean, before I get too much more involved with Keith

I've gotta make sure he can stomach her.

Hey, maybe I ought to add some tequila to the beef bourguignon.

[knock at door]

[sniffing]

Ahh!

[laughing]

[smacking lips]

Well, that outta keep her from begging

for scraps under the table.

Could you give me a hand with this?

Khadijah, I just have the most fabulous idea.

Why don't you join us, huh?

I mean, there's plenty of food!

I‐it'll be fun.

Regine, I will not be the airbag

in this three‐car pile up that could beat this dinner.

No, Khadijah, please. Don't leave me like this.

[doorbell dings] Khadi..

[sighs]

‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.

[both moan]

Alright, enough of that.

I gotta brief you about my mama.

Re..

Regine, baby. I've been around mothers before.

‐ I've even got one. ‐ Yeah. Baby, no. See.

Nobody has one of these but me.

Now, listen, here's what I need you..

[doorbell dings]

Okay. A word of caution before I open the door.

Do not look directly into her outfit.

‐ Baby! ‐ Mom!

I bought Champale!

Keith, this is my mother.

Mom, this is Keith.

Mrs. Hunter, it's a pleasure to meet you.

So, this is the painter.

Now, Keith, I don't wanna ask you

a whole lot of personal questions..

But is there any mental illness

in your family?

Not anymore. All the really crazy ones killed each other.

[laughs]

Alright, now, let's get to the important stuff.

What do you think of my new outfit?

Well, I think it makes a statement.

It says you take risks and you enjoy breaking the rules.

This one's a keeper, Regine!

Yo, Overton. I..

Overton, come here.

Now, are you sure about this marriage concept thing?

Because as your best friend

it is my job to make sure

that you are not doing this impetuously.

So, why don't you take a decade or two to think about it?

Aw, you know, I value your advice, Kyle

but, uh, this time I received a sign

from an even higher authority.

[scoffs] God?

No offense, bro, but there are few steps between you

and the Almighty, okay?

No, I'm talking about the saleslady

down at Hobar's Antique Shop.

See, I was in the back

checking out this Victorian chisel kit, right?

And I spotted her handing Synclaire this diamond ring.

Man, when she put it on her finger

her face just lit up.

And... that image just said it all.

So, now all I need is for you to give me back my money.

Oh! The money you won from the basketball contest?

Man, you know that money's tied up in a mini‐mall in Jersey!

What about your savings?

Oh, man, I had to liquidate those assets.

My uncle's smoke guard needed

a little septic tank in the worst way.

Well, Overton, you know you can't get that money back

out of the mini‐mall without paying a substantial penalty

on that $3000.

I gotta get that ring, man!

Yeah, guess I'm gonna have to go see Victor Pinky

in his office at the Burger King parking lot.

Overton, Overton, Ov, Ov..

Well, I guess if you're willing to risk your pinkies

for Synclaire then this is the right time.

So I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna arrange financing for you.

‐ You'd do that for me, man? ‐ My boy, man!

‐ Oh, thanks, man! ‐ It's me! Okay.

That's a load off my mind, man!

I was just thinking if Victor Pinky didn't have it

I was thinking about going to see Joe the Kidney.

I mean, I could not believe it, yo!

Mom and Keith actually talked for over an hour.

Mom was almost late getting to her Bingo game.

(Khadijah) 'For real?'

The only time Mama Hunter was ever late to Bingo

was the night the Poseidon Adventure was on TV.

Umm, that Shelley Winters moved

through the water like orca, didn't she?

Well, it makes sense that Keith will like your mom.

You all have so much in common.

‐ Hi! ‐ Hi!

Mama Hunter, I have always wanted a bag exactly like that.

Well, I didn't buy this, I won it yesterday

playing Bingo and qualified for Saint Cecilia's

$500 Holy Cash Cow Tournament.

But I'm not here to toot my own horn.

I came here to give you this.

Oh!

I am so proud of the daughter I raised.

Keith is talented, he's successful.

Plus he treats you right

and he's got a sense of fashion.

Do you know soon you'll be leafing

through the pages of your wedding album?

And there'll be some beans in that oven.

[sighs] I finally feel like I've done something right.

Oh, I'll see you later, baby girl.

"Beans in the oven."

Regine, you just makes me wanna

call out some perfect baby names.

Syncoverton!

Hey, uh, thanks again for tolerating my mother.

Look. Stop thanking me, alright?

I like your mom.

Why are you saying this?

Is she here?

Look, your mom has real spark. Alright? Like, "Boom!"

Spontaneous combustion.

Well, honey, I, I think you have all the spontaneous combustion

you can handle right here.

Well, well, baby..

You know, you're more like a smoldering campfire.

You glow a little before you boom.

Excuse you!

But I am very spontaneous.

I don't think you're up for the challenge.

Oh, see now, I think you underestimate me.

Oh, really?

‐ Hey, dude. ‐ Hey, man! Come‐come on.

So, so, did you get the ring?

Na, I went down there, and damn if they hadn't already sold it.

Oh, no, no! Overton, you can't give up!

Man, you can't give up, you gotta go

back down to the pawnshop, right?

And demand the name and the number of the person

who bought that ring, and then you got to go, man.

You gotta go down to that house

and not take "No" for an answer.

Because you gotta get that ring for Synclaire, man, what's up?

I, I know, look. I already got the name.

I already got the address.

The only thing holdin' me up

is you and your motivational speech, okay?

Oh, well, get a receipt.

Ah! Hey, Overton!

No time to say "Hello" back.

What's his problem?

He seems to think that I'm long‐winded

simply because I asked him to take the initiative‐‐.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Well, I will make this brief

so as not to annoy you.

Regine and Keith are up on the roof getting their laundry.

Isn't that wonderful?

A man who helps with the laundry.

You know, my first husband, he couldn't leave‐‐.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

(Regine) Say my name! Ah!

Oh! Say my name!

(Keith) Regine.

Regine!

(Regine) Ah, spell it!

Regine?

Regine!

Oh, oh, oh. Mommy!

It's not what it looks like!

Good cover, baby!

I loved my cupcakes.

Ma, let me explain!

Oh, no, baby. Those are my drawers.

Oh!

You can't eat these cupcakes now.

They, they're ruined.

They.. Nobody's gonna want them.

Um, Mrs. Hunter!

The door is jammed. Here, let me get it.

Let me get it.

Oh, what a mess. What a mess.

Oh, icing's everywhere!

And I'm all out of, I'm all out of vanilla extract.

It took so long to bake it.

Mom, would you forget about the stupid cupcakes?

How could you do this?

I bring you goodies, you're up here

giving yours away.

Alright. Now, see, you're overreacting.

Ew, I've got to go!

Well, that was the most embarrassing moment of my life.

[applause]

Max!

[knock at door]

‐ Yeah? ‐ Mr. Kellum.

Overton Wakefield Jones.

Oh, yeah, the young lady at the antique store

said you'd get in touch with me.

‐ Well, come on in. Come on in. ‐ Thank you.

Wow, that's a nice‐looking coffee table you got there.

Yeah, mini‐compass.

Yeah, that's my one vice.

Nothing I like better than to buzz the observation deck

of the World Trade Center

and watch all those tourists scatter!

Uh, uh, sir, I, I was wondering if you'd

consider selling me that diamond ring you just bought

'cause I'd really like for it to be

my Synclaire's engagement ring.

Synclaire, huh? Well, tell me about her.

Well, it's kinda hard to put Synclaire into words.

Did you ever get up in the morning

and raise the blinds

and everything starts to glow?

That's what it's like every time my baby walks into the room.

Hey, how's she built?

Yeah, she's stacked up, pretty nice too!

Just like my Lily.

The first time I saw her

she had legs so pretty

I wanted to bet on 'em.

Uh, sir, I was kinda hoping that, uh..

You and your wife would wanna sell us the ring

after you hear the amazing story that's connected to it.

See, uh, I spotted Synclaire trying on the ring at the store

and it was at that moment I was certain

that I wanted to propose

and that, that was the ring that she should wear.

‐ Uh‐huh? ‐ Yeah.

Oh, oh, that's it?

That's the end?

Oh, that is pretty amazing.

You know, I, I bought that ring back in 1943.

I was over fighting the Germans over in France.

And luckily, I had that ring on me

when our unit was pinned down by enemy fire.

You see, our radio conked out.

And I signaled with that diamond for help!

'Well, when I got back here'

'they threw me a big parade'

'and in the excitement of celebration'

'I, I lost track of the ring.'

Until the other day

when I walked into that antique store

and there it was!

Right down of the little nicks it had from the Nazi bullets.

Huh. Well, so we both have great stories.

Uh, look, I, I was thinking about

talking to your wife about it

but I don't, I don't wanna press you.

Oh, oh, wait. Come on, come on, now.

You seem like a pretty determined young man.

I'll, I'll go get her.

[laughs]

Overton!

This is my Lily.

Start talking.

Oh, after, uh, after meeting her

I can pretty much tell her mind is made up.

You know, it, it's amazing

that Max was able to turn out a four‐page newsletter

about the Regine incident in such a short time!

You can't beat the title.

"Mom goes poof over roof goof."

Uh, Regine, um, I can understand

why you'd be a bit humiliated right now

but, um, maybe you should get a bucket of water.

What for, Kyle?

♪ The roof The roof ♪

♪ The roof is on fire ♪

[laughing]

[door opens] Alright, come on now, Boo.

Now, you know, you'd be clowning too

if the shoe on another foot.

Of course, in this case

the shoe was on Keith's shoulder!

Come on, Khadijah!

Mama hasn't talked to me in days.

I went by her house, and she wouldn't even open the door!

Well, maybe she's not in the mood.

This is a woman who'll talk to anyone about anything.

She's made Jehovah's witnesses say, "We really have to go."

Well, now, you're the one always goin' on

about how you want your mother out of your life.

‐ Now you got it. ‐ No, no.

See, if I'm not talking to my mother

that's one thing.

But if she's not talking to me

that's just wrong.

I miss my mommy.

What was that?

I miss her. Alright? Leave me the hell alone.

Well, it seems to me, you need to just find a place

where she can't get away from you.

How about the mall?

Umm. She knows the layout too well.

Church.

Bingo!

Yeah, the big Bingo tournament is tonight.

There's no way she'll miss that.

Well, so, grab Keith

go on down to the church, and clear this whole thing up.

I don't know, Keith sent mom

the FTD "I'm So Embarrassed" bouquet.

She sent him a "Thank You" card with some cupcakes.

This is obviously between mom and me.

Let's go, Khadijah.

Hold on!

I ain't goin'!

Ah, Khadijah, come on now!

Do it, do it for our friendship, huh?

You, you can't put a price on that!

Yes, I can. $50.

$50?

Hey! We're tight.

B‐51.

There she is, in her lucky hat.

The guy who sold it to her is the lucky one.

Ma.

What are you doing here?

We need to talk.

I‐47.

You can't sit here.

This section is for gold card players only.

Oh, thank you, sister girl.

‐ Ma, come on, we need to‐‐ ‐ Regine, please, this is not‐‐

‐ Mommy, you're making a scene‐‐ ‐ I'm not making a scene with‐‐.

Will you two stop?

The security nuns are looking at us!

Alright now, look.

I've been trying to apologize

for this roof thing for the last few days

but you won't let me!

Apologizing isn't gonna change anything!

Oh, and shutting me out is?

O‐28.

‐ Now, ma, I need to‐‐ ‐ Regine, this is a church.

I don't wanna hear it.

Well, ma, you're gonna hear it.

Now, I'm sorry that you caught me

having spontaneous, wild sex

on the roof of my building!

Isn't that a long title for a movie?

Now, is what I did so unforgivable?

It's not what you did.

It's, it's what I've done.

It's all my fault.

G‐14.

Don't worry. I got it, Mama Hunter.

Ma, what are you talking about?

Regine, the truth is, you weren't planned!

I know. I've seen the wedding pictures.

I mean, unless you had the caterer up under there

you were obviously pregnant.

Well, what you don't know is how it happened.

We were all by ourselves up in the Left Field Bleachers

at Shae's Stadium.

Cleon Jones got a single move, Steve in the second

and I got excited.

Then Ron Swoboda, he rips a base hit

into the Right Field gap.

Sevar ran the third!

And as soon as Sevar scored..

Ooh‐sha! So did your father.

You have the soul of a poet, mom.

Look, you were a kid. You were just 17!

You weren't thinking.

I'm a grown woman.

And I don't like baseball.

Regine, I have raised you to be more responsible than I was.

Then I see you up on that roof, and it..

Oh, it's Ron Swoboda all over again.

N‐43.

Booyah! Swap the thing! Fa‐fing!

Honey, I just want you to have more choices

than I gave myself!

Ma!

Alright, look, no beans are goin' in my oven

until I'm ready to cook them.

You and I are completely different, okay?

I mean, I'm..

I'm‐I'm Ritz Carlton

and you're Ritz Crackers.

I'm DKNY and you're..

Where did you get that hat?

You're not just saying this to make me feel better?

No, mom, no!

You and I are completely different!

We're worlds apart.

Oh, oh, baby!

(woman over PA) 'B‐12.'

Bingo!

‐ Bingo! ‐ Bingo!

‐ Over here! I got it! ‐ Bingo!

[laughing]

Alright!

$500!

Next stop, Walmart!

Oh! No, no, no!

Over my dead body.

Lord and Taylor.

‐ Maisie's. ‐ Cool.

Hey! I marked the cards for you.

Don't I get a cut?

Oh, da..

Darn!

(female narrator) We'll be right back.

[whirring]

Wow! The city sure looks different from 700 feet up!

Hey, how far you plannin' on flyin' away from home, man?

Oh, relax! I got enough fuel for another half hour.

Make that 15 minutes.

Oh, my!

You know, I haven't had a co‐pilot up here

since my Lily passed away.

Oh, I, I feel honored.

By the way, how did your wife die?

Well, let me put it this way.

See the Brooklyn Bridge?

‐ Yeah. ‐ See that big dent?

Uh‐huh.

‐ Duck! ‐ Oh!

Woo‐hoo!

[giggles]