Original subtitles

Oh, no. Boardwalk with a hotel, two thousand big ones, baby.

You win, Obie, you win.

Yes.

Now, you just want me for my fake money.

‐ Hey, people. ‐ Hey.

This is Kimberly.

Kimberly, that's Overton and that's Synclaire.

‐ How do you do? ‐ Hi.

Synclaire, can I talk to you for a minute.

Absolutely, come on.

I'll be right back.

So who's winning?

Ah, well, I don't wanna brag, but me.

Kim and I have planned this really romantic evening, right

but the wine store was out of my favorite Bordeaux.

Now, isn't there a bottle down here somewhere, huh?

You mean, the one you gave Khadijah for her birthday

even though you know she hates red wine?

[chuckles] That's the one.

I have it right here.

I like your shaved head.

It makes you look like the Pharaoh Ramses.

Well, I did just get a new head balm

that brings out the luster in my scalp.

It looks so smooth.

Nice.

Yeah, well, I'm guessing you get the idea.

‐ Show yourself out. ‐ You ready, Kimberly?

Oh, it was nice meeting you, Synclaire.

‐ 'Okay.' ‐ Overton.

‐ Uh, Overton. ‐ Mm.

If you finish your game before I finish mine, play again.

‐ Alright. ‐ Alright.

‐ Bow‐wow. ‐ Watch dog.

Uh, baby, does a‐a, a‐a woman caressing

a strange man's scalp count as flirting?

Did Kimberly feel your dome?

Yeah‐huh.

Yes, that head balm I bought you really works.

Says right on the package.

"For the skull, they will love to touch."

♪ We are living single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ooh and in a '90s kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Oh keep your head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪

♪ You gotta fight with ♪

♪ My homegirls standing to my left ♪

♪ And my right ♪ ♪ True blue ♪

♪ It's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Check check check it out ♪ ♪ Single ♪

♪ What you want no free position girl ♪

♪ Ha ♪

Damn. Damn, where is Regine?

She had the nerve to leave a broken umbrella

where I could steal it.

She's out with John.

Oh, the jellyfish from the cosmetics company.

No, I mean I liked it, but I don't know

why everyone's saying it's the most

original foreign film of the year.

Well, I'm saying, you take it out at the woods

lose that castle, add some black people

and it was "Boyz n the Hood."

Hey, you guys, you all remember John?

‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.

‐ Whatever. ‐ 'How are you doing?'

I‐I'm gonna put your cappuccino

in your favorite mug for you.

You are so nice.

No, you are so nice.

I am so sick.

You know what, you guys

I have the best time when I'm with John.

I mean, he is cute, he is funny, and we both enjoy mini series.

Sounds like the total package.

Backbone not included.

[scoffs]

Well, who do we have here?

Madam jealousy and her green eyed sidekick envy?

‐ Here you go, Regine. ‐ Oh, thank you.

‐ Mmm. ‐ Wh‐what's wrong?

I‐isn't that hot enough? Oh, I'll be right back.

Damn, I wonder if they have a support group

for weak brothers like that.

‐ Don't. ‐ Yeah.

Once a month they plan on getting together

then their women tell 'em they can't go.

Well, look at this, little Dijah joking about relationships.

To think, girl, you can remember that far back?

Woo‐ooo, oh, let's roll upstairs, Synclaire.

I think a tornado is coming

and this living room is a trailer park.

Let's go.

‐ Thank you. ‐ Oh, oh, God!

Good job, John.

Regine, does he kick his foot when you rub his belly?

Shut up.

Good one, Regine.

You must've been on the debate team

when you were in high school.

Not unless they needed a towel girl.

[laughs]

Go away.

Touche again, Regine.

You should have your own talk show.

This week on "Regine," Regine.

‐ Oh, my gosh! ‐ Oh, my God.

Hey, hey, John, John, John.

See that laundry mat over there

that's where doormats of the '90s do their girlfriends wash.

Well, I wish Regine was here.

She would have a zing off you.

Oh, my good Lord.

Ah, wooh, when is Regine gonna get tired of that man

catering to her every whim?

Please, when he dies, she's gonna be at his funeral

yelling at him, telling him.

"How can you lie down like that

when I don't have a place to sit?"

Oh, God, he must go.

He's just gotta find somebody nicer and cuter than Regine.

Oh, give me a phonebook and some darts.

Hey, you know what?

You know we could always send him a Dear John letter

and sign Regine's name to it.

Here it is, "Dear John, I cannot go on with this charade."

"I am not ready for a committed relationship

"and I must end things now before

I fall deeply in love with you. I.."

"I‐I, I beg of you to forget all about me.."

"and stay the hell away from my apartment."

"And don't call me!"

"And if I call you, be strong and tell me it's over."

"And release me like a thousand doves!"

[laughs] What the devil?

Ah, I have a poetic side. I always do.

Hi, ladies.

Regine said we have to get her a cooler.

She wants to chill some champagne in her room.

Oh.

Y'all can keep the ice. Regine prefers the round cubes.

Oh, uh, hey, Kimberly, um..

Kyle won't be back for another hour or so

but, uh, you know, I'll be happy to tell him

that you were here, alright?

Now, bye.

I'll wait.

‐ What are you doing? ‐ Enjoying the view.

Oh!

Uh, look here, well, uh, I'm really flattered

but you know I got a girlfriend.

Girlfriend, boyfriend, they're just labels.

Um, well, I find labels quite handy.

You know, like, uh..

Do not iron, uh, do not remove, uh..

Do not stab roommate in the back.

Well, if you change your mind, I'll be around.

Hi, Kimberly. Hi, Obie.

‐ Hi. ‐ Hey.

Well, Overton, tell Kyle I stopped by.

Hey, shnicky‐yukums.

That girl just made a pass at me.

‐ What? ‐ Yeah!

She was standing behind me telling me

she was enjoying the view, and I wasn't wearing

my picturesque Grand Canyon two belt, so..

Okay, I bet a little slap boxing will stop her sightseeing.

‐ Hey, now. Come here. ‐ How could.. Unh‐unh..

Come on, come on. Violence is not gonna solve anything, girl.

Oh, I see.

Some heifer comes in here looking at your butt..

And suddenly you're Gandhi.

Just, just calm down. Look, I'll tell Kyle.

He will kick it to the curve

we'll never see her again, alright?

Alright, Obie, we'll do it your way.

But that little heifer don't know who's she messing with.

I'm from Minnesota, yo.

Man, where is John? The party started 15 minutes ago.

Hey, John.

Yeah, I thought you were gonna pick me up..

What?

‐ Hello. ‐ 'Um?'

Hello.

What happened?

He said he can't see me anymore.

Oh, no!

I mean, that was so weird, you know

he‐he said something about releasing me

like a thousand doves.

[chuckles] I, I cannot believe that John just broke up with me.

(Synclaire) 'Oh, girl.'

Well, maybe he's not himself.

I mean, that whole release me like a thousand doves thing..

That is just crazy!

I'm in shock here.

It's just, see with John, it wasn't just dating.

Y‐you know, I mean, we, we had a real friendship.

Is it me?

Could I be high maintenance?

[sighs] Oh, my God, I‐I‐I gotta go, and, and curl up in my ruffler

and comforter and slip on my satin eyeshades.

Max, what the hell did you do?

I, okay, I'm not sure. Alright, okay, listen.

I‐I just wanted to see what the "Dear John" letter

would like on paper, alright?

And then I wanted to see what they would like

over a forgery of writing signature

and then I guess I wanted to see what it looked like

going to a mailbox, and it's not as if, it's not as if.

Khadija didn't have anything to do with this.

‐ Don't you put this on me. ‐ Oh, no, no, no.

You're the one that said

John should tell her it's over if she called.

That's what made it sing.

That was pretty good.

Oh, I can't believe you two.

I mean, sure, some relationship should end

like when someone you knows boyfriend's being hit on

by his roommate's girlfriend, sure!

But Regine and John really liked each other.

Look, Max, if you don't tell Regine, I will.

Oh, come on. Regine's upset enough.

She'll be devastated if she found out

that we are... responsible.

Now, just listen, at least tell John it was a joke.

Maybe he will forgive you and get back with Regine.

Synclaire, we maliciously destroyed a relationship

that meant everything to him.

He would have to be a pretty pathetic slug

to forgive us for that.

‐ Let's do this. ‐ Alright, let's go.

What's up, brother?

Hey, Kyle, uh, can I talk to you for a minute?

‐ It's kinda important. ‐ What?

Uh, your girl, Kimberly, made a pass at me

and I wanted to let you know

so you can give her the ol' heave‐ho, so to speak.

[chuckles] Come on, man, clearly you must've

misunderstood something she said.

Na, no mistake knowing a girl looked at me.

She looked at me like I was a big glass of water

and let me tell you she was thirsty for a cool sip of Obie.

Um... no offense, Obie, but when you have fillet mignon

on your plate, you do not reach over

and grab a chicken wing off the next table.

Yeah, but if the fillet is a little overdone..

And, uh, pretty fired with all kind of fancy sauces

ah, them chicken wings start looking mighty tasty

now, don't they?

You know, Overton, you are absolutely right.

I mean, clearly, Kimberly could not help herself.

Look at you. You are a walking aphrodisiac.

I am surprised you are not covered with bruises

from all the women who have thrown themselves at you.

Now, if you will excuse me, I must go upstairs

and strap down all the furniture before

the Earth shifts on its axis from all the hordes of females

rushing to this hemisphere just to be nearer to you.

Alright, laugh it up.

Let me see how clever you are

when you catch your woman admiring my ass.

[laughing]

[knock on door]

Khadija, Max. Friends of Regine, come on in.

Can I get you anything?

I, I've got a pot roast in the freezer

I can thaw it out in a couple of hours.

No, we'll never be here that long.

What.. Slow down there, Khadijah, I mean..

[chuckles] We're talking about someone's emotions here.

Do you do those little oven roasted potatoes?

What, uh, what brings you guys here?

Did Regine change her mind?

No, Regine doesn't even know we are here.

She also doesn't know about that letter you got.

W‐what do you mean?

‐ Well, we‐‐ ‐ You.

One of us‐s‐s... wrote that letter as a joke

and signed Regine's name to it.

"Our future will be world's apart..

"We must go our separate ways..

Release me like a 1000 doves."

Poetry by Maxine Angelou. Thank you very much.

You‐you couldn't have written that letter.

Only Regine's words could kill me so softly.

Okay, I guess I gotta tell you the truth.

Max broke you two up

because she wanted you for herself.

Please.

Look, look, alright, I did write that letter, alright, I did.

I wrote that letter. You wanna know why?

Because I was tired of watching Regine step all over you.

Come on, man, stand up for yourself. Be a man.

Grow up that ball. Get up in there. Go for yours.

Come on.

Well, I‐I‐I guess you're right.

You know, I‐I've always had a hard time standing up for myself

e‐e‐especially for women.

Look, John, I know it may seem like.

Regine wants you to be her Mr. Belvedere

but she would be much better off with a man

who could just stand his ground, you know.

Well, I‐I‐I can stand my ground.

I mean, if that's what she wants.

But y‐y‐y‐you are asking me to change my entire personality

and that's gonna take at least an hour and a half?

I love this time of year.

Winter is over, but there is still

that refreshing snap in the air.

You're right, I'm freezing.

Me too.

You know, in some cultures, sharing a blanket

constitutes marriage.

Oh.

Oh, hey, it's raining, let's go.

Oh, look.

Well, if it isn't Kyle and everybody's friend.

Am I missing something?

For some inane reason, Overton thinks you made a pass at him.

I was simply letting Overton know

that I think he is a very... very sexy man.

[laughing]

Give my blanket.

Look, Overton is my roommate.

What the hell were you thinking?

I am not the kind of person who holds back her feelings.

I think people should just do what makes them happy.

Okay, and you are absolutely right

and nothing would make me happier right now

then watching you walk right down those stairs. Goodbye.

Kyle, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

[laughs]

And I want you to know I think you're a very special man.

[sighs]

‐ You too. ‐ Oh, no, you didn't.

O‐o‐out! Get out! Time to go.

Hey, where is Regine? John is gonna be here any minute.

You know how Regine cheers herself up.

She probably rented a horse drawn carriage

and is riding around Central Park

pretending she is royalty.

Hey, you two, uh, this is Keith.

‐ Keith, that's Khadija. ‐ 'How you doin'?'

‐ And this is Max. ‐ Hi, nice to meet you.

Hi.

Who the hell is this?

‐ Have a seat. ‐ Thanks.

Well, girls, I went down to the studio

to take my mind off things, you know

and, uh, Keith was there.

See, he has been painting a mural in the lobby

for the last three weeks.

Yeah, but I was captivated by Regine's smile

'and I was very impressed by the fact'

that she realized that the black splatters

on my mural represented death.

Well, they were too big to be crows.

‐ Excuse us. ‐ Excuse me.

‐ Pardon me. ‐ Sure.

Yeah.. Excuse me, excuse me. Here, oh, look.

Hey, take this, young feller. Ha ha ha.

Look, um, you know, lean forward because the batteries are weak.

Alright, Regine, what's up?

Isn't Keith something? I mean, he is handsome.

He is cool, he's, he is kind, he is strong

and his painting sell for quite a bit of money

and he ain't even dead yet.

Well, forget Keith.

We talked to John, and he realizes he made a mistake.

You guys did that for me?

‐ Yeah. ‐ Yes.

Well, that is really sweet

but I don't think that John is good for me.

You know, I mean, he already does everything that I ask.

So there is really no room for the relationship to grow

now is there?

See... had we just let well enough alone

we'd be home free right now.

Hey, we got to stop John before he gets here.

Please, Khadija, it's no big deal.

[doorbell rings]

Alright, girl, give me a call, alright.

Don't even try. Come on.

I‐I'll get it, I'll get it.

I got it. I got it.

‐ Hey, can I talk.. ‐ Alright, brother, we need to..

Step aside, ladies. Step aside.

John, um, this‐‐.

Regine, I'm just going to come right out and say it.

It's time for me to move on

and, uh, I'm sure you'll find someone eventually.

Gee, John, I hope you're right.

Um, Regine, if we are gonna make this movie

we should get going.

Uh, okay.

Oh, I see. It's like that.

La Viva, enjoy your little movie. I don't need you.

I'm gonna be alright.

You come with some baggage, don't you?

Well, you have really showed me something today.

There is more than one way to be disturbed.

I‐I finally stood up for myself

and‐and it wasn't as hard as I thought.

Matter of fact, it gave me a little buzz.

Come on, Max, let's go.

Hey, what the hell are you doing?

Don't worry, it's okay.

I just want you to know I feel the same about you

as you do about me.

Then the thought of me touching you is making

you wanna throw up, get the..

Now see, the old John would have taken that as objection

but you have given me strength, and you will reap the reward.

I don't want to reap.

Okay, okay, you need time, take all the time you like.

I'll pick you up at 8 o'clock tomorrow night.

I won't be here.

Well, then I'll come back when you are

because our love is stronger than the both of us.

So, um, when you and your man having us over for pot roast?

(Synclaire) We will be right back.

(John) 'Ooh, let's see, we got, uh, pot roast'

little oven roasted potatoes, broccoli, and a..

[sniffs] Zesty cheese sauce.

Garlic bread, of course with toss salad

'and an assortment of olives.'

This is quite a feast. Mmm.

Well, cooking makes me happy

and I believe people should do what makes them happy.

Oh, I couldn't agree more

but, uh, what are we gonna do with all this extra food?

Oh, I did cook a little too much.

Is your roommate gonna be home soon?

(Regine) Woo‐hoo!

[Regine chuckles]