Original subtitles

WHAT'S UP, MAN?

HEY, DUDE.

WHAT'S IN THE BAG?

DEAD MICE.

GET THAT AWAY FROM ME.

( Making spooky sounds )

I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU.

THOSE THINGS CARRY DISEASES AND GERMS

AND THEY HAVE BEADY LITTLE EYES.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH YOU WHITE‐COLLAR TYPES.

YOUR PLUSH OFFICES AND YOUR FANCY E‐MAIL

MAKE YOU SOFT.

START JUMPING AT YOUR OWN SHADOW.

SYNCLARABELLE'S HERE!

( Honking )

CLOWN!

♪ WE ARE LIVING ♪

♪ HEY ♪

♪ SINGLE ♪

♪ OOH, IN A '90s KIND OF WORLD ♪

♪ I'M GLAD I GOT MY GIRLS ♪

♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪ ♪ WHAT? ♪

♪ KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪

♪ WHENEVER THIS LIFE GETS TOUGH ♪

♪ YOU GOT TO FIGHT WITH ♪

♪ MY HOMEGIRL STANDING TO MY LEFT ♪

♪ AND MY RIGHT ♪

♪ TRUE BLUE, IT'S TIGHT LIKE GLUE ♪

♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪

♪ CHECK, CHECK, CHECK IT OUT ♪

♪ WE ARE LIVING SINGLE. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

[and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION]

I GOT IT. WATCH THIS.

ALL RIGHT NOW.

NEXT TIME, TRY THIS

WITH SOME CHICKEN, MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY.

YEAH, MY TIMING'S OFF.

OBIE'S GOT ME ALL UPSET.

HE SEEMS SCARED OF MY MAKEUP.

WHAT MAKEUP?

HOW DID YOU GET THIS GIG?

I WAS AUDITIONING FOR THE PART IN DEATH OF A SALESMAN.

DIDN'T GET THE PART

BUT THE DIRECTOR THOUGHT I'D MAKE A TERRIFIC CLOWN

FOR HIS KID'S MARDI GRAS PARTY.

WELL, HONEY, I'M SURE YOU'LL MAKE ONE FINE FOOL.

ANYWAY, I JUST CAN'T WAIT

UNTIL KHADIJAH GETS HOME

SO SHE CAN HELP ME WRITE SOME JOKES.

I HOPE SHE GETS HOME SOON TOO.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE KICKING IT WITH A CLOWN

AND SYNCLAIRE'S BUSY JUGGLING.

KHADIJAH'S IN A TIZZY

OVER THIS NEW COPYCAT MAGAZINE, SAVOR.

THE FIRST ISSUE COMES OUT NEXT WEEK.

CHECK IT OUT, PEOPLE.

THE NEXT ISSUE OF FLAVOR.

WILL CONTAIN A FREE SCRATCH 'N' SNIFF POSTER

OF LAURENCE FISHBURNE AS OTHELLO.

THAT'LL GIVE SAVOR.

A KICK IN ITS BIG‐MONEY ASS.

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO AFFORD THAT?

I'M MOONLIGHTING AS A SECURITY GUARD

FROM 10:00 AT NIGHT TO 2:00 IN THE MORNING

STARTING TOMORROW.

THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.

PLEASE. IT'S AT A RETIREMENT HOME.

I'LL BE ARMED WITH A BOTTLE OF ESTROGEN PILLS

AND A TUBE OF DENTURE CREAM.

GREAT.

IF A THUG ATTACKS HER

SHE CAN GLUE HIS MOUTH SHUT AND GIVE HIM BREASTS.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN...?

CLOWN.

OBIE, WAIT.

OBIE!

COMING TO GET YOU.

OVERTON

WHY'D YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME?

IT'S MY, UM, SECRET SHAME, MY LITTLE NONDAIRY TOPPING.

EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER

I'VE BEEN UNEASY AROUND CLOWNS.

OH, YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU HAD BOZOPHOBIA.

IT'S KIND OF WHY I CALL IT MY SECRET SHAME.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S HIGH TIME

I GET THIS BRIGHTLY COLORED MONKEY OFF MY BACK.

BUT FIRST I THINK I'M GOING TO TAKE A LITTLE STROLL.

WALLS CLOSING IN.

MUST GET AIR.

HEY, REGINE, COME HERE.

GIVE ME A PUSH.

I WAS SOUND ASLEEP

WHEN SUDDENLY I'M AWAKENED

BY THE SOUND OF SOMEONE'S MIND SNAPPING.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WELL, I WAS GOING OVER SYNCLAIRE'S KNOCK‐KNOCK JOKES

AND THEN IT HIT ME.

WHAT THIS ROOM NEEDS IS A MULTIPURPOSE ACTIVITY CIRCLE.

SEE, YOU SIT HERE TO WATCH TV

BUT YOU SLIDE OVER HERE TO WORK

AND EVERY SEAT HAS A GOOD VIEW OF THE RUG.

KHADIJAH, YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT A WINK IN WEEKS...

WHAT'S THIS?

A MULTIPURPOSE ACTIVITY CIRCLE.

OH, SNAP.

YOU CAN SEE THE RUG FROM ANYWHERE.

KHADIJAH, THIS IS MORE THAN JUST ABOUT FLAVOR.

IT'S ABOUT SCOOTER FINDING ANOTHER WOMAN

ISN'T IT?

WHAT?

DAMN, SYNCLAIRE, THAT'S THE LAST TIME I DISH WITH YOU.

I'VE HEARD THAT BEFORE.

YOU'LL BE BACK.

HE'S ALLOWED TO HAVE A LIFE.

HERE ARE YOUR KNOCK‐KNOCK JOKES.

OKAY.

"KNOCK KNOCK.

"WHO'S THERE?

"DIESEL.

"DIESEL WHO?

DIESEL MAKE YOU LAUGH IF YOU AREN'T TOO SMART."

THAT IS GOOD.

THAT IS GOOD.

KHADIJAH, HONEY...

AS YOUR FRIEND...

I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD ADVICE

FROM SOMEBODY WHO'S BAKING HER HEAD WHILE SHE SLEEPS.

I WAS TALKING ABOUT AROMATHERAPY.

THAT'S HOW I STAY SO CENTERED.

UNGRATEFUL.

"KNOCK KNOCK.

"WHO'S THERE?

"LITTLE OLD LADY.

"LITTLE OLD LADY WHO?

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD YODEL."

MAYBE SHE SHOULD STAY WOUND UP.

THIS STUFF IS MONSTER.

♪ YUM YUM YUM, MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ♪

♪ YUM YUM YUM, MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. ♪

OVERTON, I HAVE THE SOLUTION

TO YOUR CLOWN PHOBIA.

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS INTRODUCE YOU

TO CLOWN‐RELATED ITEMS ONE AT A TIME

AND YOU SHOULD BE DESENSITIZED.

ALL RIGHTY THEN.

HERE WE GO.

HOLD ON. HOLD ON.

OH, ARE YOU OKAY?

JUST DON'T SQUEAK IT.

( Door shuts )

I HOPE THAT'S KHADIJAH.

SHE WAS OUT ALL NIGHT.

I'VE BEEN ALL OVER BROOKLYN TEARING DOWN

THESE SAVOR ADS.

AND LOOK AT THIS.

TWO COPS AND A BUS DRIVER CHASED ME FOR SIX BLOCKS FOR THIS

BUT I SHOOK 'EM.

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAW?

I JUST SAW SOME CRAZY NUT CASE

DRAGGING A BIG BUS AD DOWN THE...

( squeaks )

CLOWN.

GIVE ME THAT.

GIVE ME THAT.

GIVE ME THAT.

KHADIJAH, SIT DOWN, BABY.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?

WELL, WHAT'S NOT GOING ON?

SOME BIG CORPORATION

IS TRYING TO RUN ME OUT OF BUSINESS

WITH MY OWN IDEA.

I'M HOLDING DOWN TWO JOBS AND PAYING OFF FIVE LOANS.

AND DAMN IT IF MY SHINSPLINTS AIN'T ACTING UP

FROM DUCKING THE COPS.

KHADIJAH, YOU CAN HANDLE THIS.

THAT'S TRUE. YOU ALWAYS DO.

KHADIJAH, WHEN TIMES ARE TOUGH AND I'M FEELING BLUE

THREE WORDS OF WISDOM, "WOO WOO WOO."

IT'S A SAD DAY

WHEN SYNCLAIRE HAS THE DEEPEST THING TO SAY.

I'M THE DEEPEST.

HI, MA?

OH, I'M FINE.

BUT EVERYBODY AROUND HERE IS ACTING LIKE I'M LOSING IT

JUST BECAUSE I SURFED DOWN THE SUBWAY STEPS ON A BUS AD

AND HID BEHIND THIS BLIND CONGO PLAYER

TILL THE HEAT WAS OFF.

I'VE BEEN UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE LATELY, MA.

PAY WHO A VISIT?

A WHAT?

KHADIJAH?

THAT'S ME.

HI. I'M JESSICA BRYCE.

READY?

ALL RIGHT.

STRAP ME DOWN

AND CLAMP ON THOSE ELECTRODES.

I WAS HOPING

WE COULD JUST CHAT A LITTLE BIT

BUT IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE INTO

I'LL CRANK UP THE GENERATOR.

LET'S GET STARTED.

( laughing )

OH, DAMN, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

COME ON.

SO, KHADIJAH

WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?

MY MOTHER.

MADE ME PROMISE I WOULD COME.

BUT YOU REALLY DIDN'T FEEL LIKE COMING.

LOOK, NO OFFENSE, DOC

BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT PSYCHOTHERAPY

WAS FOR BOURGIE PEOPLE WITH MONEY TO BURN.

I MEAN, IF I HAVE A PROBLEM

I USUALLY JUST GO TO CHURCH, GET ME SOME JESUS

AND I'M COOL.

THAT IS A POPULAR CHOICE

BUT GOD MUST HAVE MADE THERAPISTS FOR A REASON.

WELL, YEAH, BUT SEE, I'M THE ONE

WHO HELPS PEOPLE WITH THEIR PROBLEMS.

MAYBE I SHOULD TRY TALKING TO MYSELF.

ALWAYS WORKS FOR SYNCLAIRE.

SYNCLAIRE?

MY COUSIN.

NOW THAT'S SOMEBODY WHO COULD USE SOME COUCH TIME.

OR MY ROOMMATE, REGINE.

GIRL, SHE'S STILL WAITING TO EXHALE.

OR MAX, THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND...

KHADIJAH, EXCUSE ME.

MAY I MAKE A SUGGESTION?

WHY DON'T WE SPEND YOUR DIME TALKING ABOUT YOU?

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

LET'S TALK ABOUT ME.

GO AHEAD.

OKAY, GIVE ME, UM... A TYPICAL KHADIJAH DAY

LIKE YESTERDAY.

OH, OKAY. WELL, LET'S SEE.

I USUALLY GET UP ABOUT 5:30 IN THE MORNING

BUT I GOT HOME LATE FROM MY SECOND JOB

SO I LOUNGED AROUND IN BED FOR ABOUT...

MMM...

FIVE MINUTES.

A LITTLE "YOU" TIME.

RIGHT. SO THEN I WENT

TO MY OFFICE.

I DID ALL THE EDITING.

I GOT SYNCLAIRE'S BRAIDS OUT THE FAX MACHINE.

WENT HOME, LISTENED TO MAX WHINE ABOUT HER JOB

LISTENED TO REGINE BRAG ABOUT HERS

WENT TO THE RETIREMENT HOME

BACK TO MY HOUSE FOR A CHANGE OF DRAWERS

AND THAT'S IT.

YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED.

NOT AT ALL.

WORKING GIVES ME ENERGY.

SO EVERYTHING'S COOL.

MAD COOL.

EXCEPT THAT THIS BIG MAGAZINE

IS COMING OUT TODAY

AND THEY TRYING TO RUN ME OUT OF BUSINESS.

AND MY EX‐FIANCE IS...

WELL, HE'S SEEING SOMEBODY ELSE.

BUT I CAN HANDLE THAT.

SO...

I CAN TELL MY MOM I'M OKAY, RIGHT?

JUMP IN ANY TIME, DOC.

FRANKLY, I DO SEE SIGNS OF ANXIETY.

BUT WHAT I'M REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT IS DEPRESSION.

DEPRESSION?

NOW, THAT'S WHEN YOU SIT AROUND ALL DAY EATING COOKIE DOUGH

AND CRYING AT UNITED NEGRO COLLEGE FUND COMMERCIALS.

NO, THAT'S NOT ME.

THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND

OF DEPRESSION, KHADIJAH.

BIPOLAR DEPRESSION CAN BE THE OPPOSITE FROM WHAT YOU'D EXPECT.

YOU'RE ON A HIGH.

YOU CAN'T SLEEP.

YOU HAVE MOOD SWINGS

AND, EVENTUALLY, YOU CRASH.

WHATEVER.

LOOK, THE POINT IS

I HAVE MY PROBLEMS UNDER CONTROL.

OKAY?

WHAT DO I HAVE TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT?

I'M NOT DEPRESSED.

I'M HAPPY.

( Crying ): I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON I KNOW.

WHAT IS THIS?

I HAVEN'T CRIED SINCE MUFASA DIED IN LION KING.

DAMN THOSE HYENAS!

( Crying )

I THINK THIS IS ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

LOOK, IT'S COOL, DOC, OKAY?

I GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL, ALL RIGHT?

I THINK I'M GOING TO BE

GETTING BACK TO WORK NOW.

LISTEN, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL ANYBODY I WAS CRYING, RIGHT?

YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME.

KHADIJAH OKAY.

YOUR HAIR'S CROOKED.

PERFECT.

SO, HOW WAS "LUNCH"?

FINE. WHY?

DO WE FEEL BETTER NOW THAT WE'VE "EATEN"?

SYNCLAIRE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE "HELL" YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

I STUMBLED ONTO DR. BRYCE'S CARD IN THE BACK OF YOUR DESK DRAWER

IN AN ENVELOPE UNDER SOME PAPERS.

MAYBE YOU WANTED SOMEBODY TO FIND IT.

AND YOU TOLD EVERYONE?

I ANNOUNCED TO EVERYONE

THAT YOU ARE UNDER A PSYCHIATRIST'S CARE

AND NO ONE WAS TO TREAT YOU

AS IF ANYTHING WAS TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY WRONG.

EVERYBODY IS TREATING ME LIKE I'M A MENTAL PATIENT.

YOU ARE A MENTAL PATIENT.

( Humming )

GOD...

YOU SHOULD'VE COME TO ME.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

ANXIETY?

LOW SELF‐ESTEEM?

OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS OF RANDOM ARSON?

I'VE BEEN THERE, GIRL.

OH, KHADIJAH, WHEN I FIRST HEARD

THAT YOU WERE SEEING A THERAPIST

WELL, I WAS GOING TO DENY KNOWING YOU.

BUT I JUST READ

IN ESSENCE THAT PSYCHOTHERAPY IS IN.

MMM. IT'S A SHAME I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS.

LISTEN TO Y'ALL YAMMERING ABOUT SOMETHING

WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING!

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A THERAPIST?!

PLEASE.

I'VE GOT THIS OUTFIT, GIRL.

I AM TRENDY ENOUGH.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

WHEN I WAS AT EVANS AND BELL

THEY MADE EVERY ATTORNEY SPEND AN HOUR WITH THIS GUY

WHO CALLED HIMSELF A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST.

YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT.

BECAUSE THE MAN SAID NOTHING WORTH REPEATING.

OH, SURE, HE WENT ON AND ON

ABOUT HOW I HAD INAPPROPRIATE HOSTILITY

AND DIFFICULTY DEALING WITH MEN AND THAT I WAS IN DENIAL.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD SUCH CRAP IN YOUR LIFE?

WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?

HELPING OBIE GET OVER HIS PHOBIA

BY ASSOCIATING A GOOD EXPERIENCE WITH A BAD ONE.

( Honking )

CLOWN!

( Yells )

IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

OVERTON, IF YOU DON'T LIKE CLOWNS

WHY ARE YOU HANGING WITH KYLE?

MAXINE, I AM TRYING TO HELP A PERSON.

YOU REMEMBER PEOPLE.

THEY'RE THE ONES WITH THE TORCHES

WHO CHASED YOU OUT OF THE CASTLE.

ALL RIGHTY, THEN LET US BEGIN.

( Funky hip‐hop music playing )

( circus music playing )

( funky music playing )

( circus music playing )

( funky music playing )

( circus music playing )

( yelling )

TOO MUCH DATA.

OVERTON, WHERE DID THIS STUPID FEAR COME FROM?

HOW'D IT GET STARTED?

ALL GOES BACK TO WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE SHAVER

AND MA TOOK KYLE AND I

TO THE DING‐A‐DONG CIRCUS IN ASHTUBULA.

AND A FIRE FIGHTER CLOWN

ASKED ME TO RIDE ON THE TINY HOOK AND LADDER.

Kyle: AND, UM...

EVERYTHING WAS COOL

UNTIL IT SPUN OUT OF CONTROL

AND HE WENT FLYING HEADFIRST

INTO THE BACK END OF LARGE THE ELEPHANT.

LITERALLY SCARED THE SH‐TRAW OUT OF THE POOR BEAST.

DAMN NEAR BURIED ALIVE.

AND ALTHOUGH I COULD BREATHE

LORD KNOWS I WISHED I COULDN'T.

BUT THE IMAGE THAT'S FOREVER BURNED INTO MY BRAIN

IS THE LOOKS ON THE FACES OF THE 37 CLOWNS

TRYING TO DIG ME OUT WITH THEIR TINY LITTLE SHOVELS

JUST DIGGING, DIGGING.

MAMA, COME HOLD ME.

YES, BABY, YES, BABY.

( Knocking )

OH, HUSH NOW.

( Knocking continues )

HELLO, ENCHANTRESS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

STILL POUTY?

KHADIJAH, CAME RIGHT OVER

WITH THE PREMIER ISSUE OF SAVOR.

YOU OWE ME 3.50.

"KID VERSUS PLAY: WHO'S COOLER?"

"DREAM GANGSTA TEAM: SNOOP DOGGY DOGG AND BETTE MIDLER"?

THIS IS WEAK!

LISTEN HERE WHAT IT SAYS

IN MEDIA DAILY.

"SAVOR IS ABOUT AS FRESH

"AS A GAS STATION REST ROOM."

"INSTEAD, READERS SHOULD LOOK TO FLAVOR."

"THE LEADING‐EDGE MAGAZINE SAVOR TRIES TO BE."

( Cheering )

DAH!

HOORAY!

HOORAY!

COME NOW!

SHIMMY WITH HAPPINESS.

KHADIJAH, COME IN.

I DON'T HAVE AN APPOINTMENT OR ANYTHING.

OH, THAT'S OKAY.

I HAVE TIME.

MY PROCRASTINATION WORKSHOP USUALLY STARTS A LITTLE LATE.

WELL, I JUST CAME BY TO APOLOGIZE.

I WAS KINDA BUGGIN' WHEN I WAS HERE BEFORE

AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M FEELING A LOT BETTER.

I JUST DON'T GET IT.

I MEAN, EVERYTHING IS COOL AT WORK.

I SHOULD BE FEELING MUCH BETTER, BUT I'M NOT.

I'M GLAD.

SURE, YOU GLAD.

THAT'S HOW YOU GET REPEAT BUSINESS.

NO. IT'S A SIGN

THAT THE DEFENSES YOU WORKED SO HARD TO BUILD UP

ARE FINALLY CRUMBLING.

YOU MIGHT BE LOSING SOME COOL POINTS

BUT YOU'RE GETTING TO THE REAL.

I BEEN THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I'VE GIVEN UP

TO FOCUS ON THIS MAGAZINE‐‐

TIME AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS

AND A FEW FINE MEN.

GIRL, I MEAN REAL FINE.

AND LATELY

I HAVEN'T EVEN ENJOYED WORKING ON FLAVOR.

YOU'RE AN AMAZING PERSON, KHADIJAH.

I MEAN, YOU PERSEVERE, YOU ACHIEVE

YOU TAKE CARE OF SO MANY PEOPLE

BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY

YOU STOPPED TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF.

WELL, I GUESS IT WOULD BE KIND OF INTERESTING

TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT FROM TIME TO TIME.

THE STATE MEDICAL BOARD SAID I'M ALLOWED TO DO THAT.

DAMN, MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO WEAR ME OUT OVER THIS ONE.

I KNOW.

PSYCHOTHERAPY DOESN'T GET MUCH RESPECT IN OUR COMMUNITY.

MY FATHER KEEPS ASKING ME

WHY DIDN'T I PICK SOMETHING MORE REAL

LIKE PLASTIC SURGERY.

BUT THEN, THAT'S AN ISSUE FOR ME AND MY THERAPIST.

YOU KNOW, DOC, I HEARD SOMETIMES

YOU PEOPLE CHARGE ON A SLIDING SCALE.

ANY CHANCE THAT, UH... FOR A SISTER

THAT SCALE MIGHT SLIDE ALL THE WAY DOWN TO FREE?

NO, SISTER.

BUT I'M SURE

WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT WHEN YOU GET BACK.

I'M PRESCRIBING A ONE‐WEEK VACATION FOR YOU.

NO WORK, NO FRIENDS

AND DID I MENTION NO WORK?

WELL, WHAT THE HELL

AM I GOING TO DO ON A VACATION?

NOTHING.

SCARY, ISN'T IT?

I HATE VACATIONS.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO PRESCRIBE SOMETHING ELSE.

OKAY, I'LL START YOU ON PROZAC.

THAT'LL STABILIZE YOUR MOOD

BUT THERE MAY BE SOME SIDE EFFECTS

LIKE HEADACHES, LACK OF SEX DRIVE...

PACKING!

I'M PACKING.

I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I COME BACK.

LIVING SINGLE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

OVERTON, TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE.

CLOWN.

CLOWN.

THAT LOOKS LIKE TWO BUTTERFLIES KISSING IN A CARWASH.

AND FOR SOME WACKY REASON

ONE OF THEM IS WEARING A SOMBRERO.

DO YOU HAVE YOUR APPOINTMENT BOOK WITH YOU, OVERTON?

[Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]