All language subtitles for Living Single - S03 E15 - Scoop Dreams (480p - HULU Web-DL)

Gosh, Russell, I
gotta give it to you

this piece you put together

for the music issue
is really nice.

"Nice?"

You told me last week's
review was nice.

Is that your catchphrase
for everything?

[scoffs] Not at all.

This piece you did on
New York nightlife

was weak, uninspired

and obviously written
after a drunken night

of club‐hoppin'.

Ivan, I just called for a
message thirty seconds ago

how did you get here so fast?

Well, to quote a modern
poet, Jeffery Osborne..

"On The Wings Of Love."

That's sweet.

Now, fly your ass over
to the typesetters

because if that's not there
in 15 minutes, I'm dead.

Wait, you're talking about
all the way in midtown?

Well, that's impossible,
unless I latch myself

onto the back of a subway train

keep my bike off the third rail.

Khadijah, I can do this.

Ivan, you're a prince.

To quote the immortal
Donna Summer

"I Feel Love."

"I Feel Love." "I‐I Feel Love!"

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a nineties
kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪
♪ What you want? ♪

♪ No free position girl ♪

♪ Haa ♪

Oh, my stars. What
happened to you?

I was takin' a shortcut
across Rockefeller Center

on the ice.

Next thing I know, I was
bailing through skating nuns

and bouncing off flagpoles
of many nations.

Ivan, are you okay?

Yes, getting fired took
my mind off the pain.

They fired you for
havin' an accident?

Well, actually, it wasn't
just because of the accident.

See, I've been on probation
'cause I hang out here

all the time.

Well, the important thing
is that you're alright.

I mean, whether or not you
delivered my packages

not nearly, you
know, as important.

Oh, I delivered your package.

I mean... sure, my
bike was totaled

and I had to fashion this splint
out of a kid's hockey stick

but I didn't want "Flavor" to
suffer just because I was.

Right. How noble.

And why don't you just sit here
and tell Synclaire all about it.

Without that job, I don't know
how I'mma pay for my tuition.

You know what? I'm gonna ask
Khadijah to give you a job.

You just wait right here.
Woo‐woo‐woo.

Khadijah, I think you
should hire Ivan.

Without a job he's gonna
have to drop out of college

and become.. Well,
you know, a dropout.

Synclaire, I'm sure
Ivan can manage.

He's rather resourceful.

Khadijah?

Can I wash your car for
some spare change?

I still have a good hand.

Ivan, please, I wouldn't
make you wash my car

in your condition.

But when your other hand heals

come back with a sponge
and some Armor All.

Okay, Khadijah, I understand
why you won't make room for me

here at "Flavor."

So what if I'm top of
my sophomore class

news editor of the school paper,
and have a fire in my belly

big enough to fry a pork chop?

By the way, this story
is not accurate.

What do you mean "Not accurate?"

Well, it says here
that "Gordon Berry"

the CEO of City Gem Records has
huge plans for the company."

Well, I happen to know he's
moving to Halogen Records

and takin' most of his
artists with him.

Stay away from my copy, you
dizzy‐limpin' sophomore.

While I was makin' a delivery
to the New York Athletic Club

I heard his attorney
braggin' about the deal.

Well, thanks, Ivan

but I'm gonna have
to take the word

of my music editor

over that of a messenger

who just had major head trauma.

Listen, Khadijah,
with all due respect

and an almost fanatical worship

you're about to make
two big mistakes.

One, not hiring me, and
two, runnin' that article.

No, no, no, I've only
made one mistake.

And that's not getting a
restraining order against you.

Cheerio.

Look here, Max

you wanna play the
highest stakes table

in Atlantic City

you gotta keep your
roll civilized.

Hold the dice gingerly

and release.

Now, give it a shot.

Ha!

[phone ringing]

Alright, snake eyes.

Hello.

Oh, hey, Jeff, what's up?

Oh, she had a baby boy?

Oh, well, good for you.

Alright, man.

Isn't that's something?

Woman goes through nine
months of pregnancy

two days of labor, and
he gives the man props.

Oh, come on, give him credit.

He was involved in the process
for about 18 seconds.

Ha!

Oh, yeah, man, he's right
here, hold on a second.

Kyle, Jeff, man.

Hey... Obie, dobie, doo.

Hey, baby.

Hey, remember my partner,
Jeff, from Cleveland?

Yes, uh, the one you call your.

"Ace‐number‐one
home‐apple‐scrapple."

Mm‐hm. Well, his wife, Sylvia

just gave birth to a baby boy.

Hey, Kyle, you look like he
told you the baby was yours.

In a way, it is, they just
asked me to be the godfather.

What? Jeff Moesby asked you
to be the baby's godfather?

Hey, OJ, I'm just as
surprised as you are.

I thought you'd be the
natural choice, you know?

Obie, didn't you drag Jeff
and his entire family

from a burning house?

Not the entire family, the dog
jetted before I got there.

Look, Overton, if this is
gonna bother you, you know

maybe I should call
Jeff back and pass on

this whole godfather thing.

No, man, that's alright.

I just thought that Jeff
and I had a understanding

you know, he said that
if he ever had a baby

I'd be the godfather.

But guess you can't expect a
man to keep a promise he made

while you're administering CPR.

Lord, we're beaten by
the "Village Voice."

"City Gem chief Gordon
Berry heads to Halogen."

Ugh!

Should have listened to the
hop‐along messenger boy.

Alright, alright, Russell,
we gotta get Khadijah

in a good mood before
she reads this.

Oh, okay, I know what.

"The Big Book of Brain
Teaser." She loves these.

Khadijah, question.

In the "Temptation" song
Papa was a rolling stone

they say "All he
left us was alone."

Now, did they mean
alone without a father

or a loan you get from a bank?

Russell..

What's goin' on?

Uh, I think that meant

left alone without a father.

Ah, that's it. I think
exactly what they meant.

Look, if this is about the
"Village Voice" article

I'm not happy about it.

But every magazine makes a
mistake now and then, right?

Exactly.

Okay, so just write
up a correction.

Should I blame you
or everybody but me?

You know, I'm a little confused.

"Flavor" has a big article
on Gordon Berry leading.

City Gem Records into
the next century

while "The Voice" has
the same Gordon Berry

moving to Halogen Records.

Well, looks like
somebody is wasting

a lot of newsprint here.

Ivan, next time you wanna
say, "I told you so"

call me, so I can
hang up on you.

See, Khadijah

there's that stinging wit

you usually save
for us employees.

You want Ivan to work
here, don't you?

That's the way to make up
for crippling him for life.

Ow! Ow!

So maybe you know how
to spot a story.

I'll tell you what

when you feel up to it, maybe
we have a place here for you.

I'm ready now.

Good.

Take these, staple 'em, copy 'em

and get 'em over to
the layout desk.

You're been hired
as a copy aide.

Wait a minute.

I can't get a Pulitzer
Prize doing this.

Don't I get to write anything?

Well, if you come
up with something

that isn't garbage, maybe.

Oh, wait a minute,
y‐you said "Maybe"

that's‐that's one step
closer to probably.

Khadijah, I can see it now.

You and I, side by side

sniffing out stories
and writing till night

falling asleep in
each other's arms

and wakin' up for another day
of reportin' and snuggling.

Synclaire, when you visit
me at the sanitarium

just make sure they do my hair

and wipe the drool off my chin.

You know, I can't
believe you still eat

that dead animal flesh.

You really should consider
becoming a vegetarian.

The chicken was a vegetarian.

Every time I take a
big bite outta this

I get all the vegetables it had.

Hey‐hey, everybody.

Oh. Oh. Oh!

Kyle, a little monster truck

to go with your
little monster woman.

I just stopped by the toy
store, I want to make sure

my godchild has all the
finer things in life.

You should resign immediately..

Honey.

Forget it, Ivan.

That is the fifteenth
time Ivan has called

with stupid story ideas.

This time he wants to go
undercover as a woman

at the Miss Black
America pageant

to expose corruption.

Oh, you know
something, I've always

wondered about that thing.

Like, how come there's
never a Black Miss Utah?

Hey, Kyle, you just
missed a call upstairs

from your godson's father.

Wanted to know something
about a list.

Oh‐oh, right, right, right,
I'm still workin' on it.

Um, I have the honor of choosing
my godson's middle name.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

Well, let's hear what
you got, god‐papa.

Alright, number one‐‐.

And for your own dignity's
sake, don't say it's Kyle.

I'm still on the fence
about number one.

Number two, is Lloyd.

Lloyd, a handsome name
with a silent 'L.'

And all the kids in the school

gonna beat that child silly
with that silent 'L.'

Number three, is Boyd.

W‐wha‐what is Boyd, but boy
with a 'D' on the end?

Shorty, did you put any
kind of thought into this?

Hello. Tension?

Oh, Lord, look at the next one.

Cecil.

It is pronounced, Cecil.

Oh, that's cool, so instead
of calling him a sissy

the other hoodlums will
just call him "Sissy."

Lovely. Lovely.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, look, man.

I'm just tryin' to be a
good godfather, alright?

[chuckles]

Well, I, I guess I
had it all wrong.

Mr. Smooth Shorty Slick.

See, I was in the basement

tryin' to come up with a crib

that converts into a playpen

that eventually turns
into a soapbox racer

for those difficult tween years

when I should have been up here

comin' up with corny name

that will guarantee
the boy be named.

"The boy most likely to
get his butt whooped

over a carton of milk."

Now, why didn't I think
of this earlier?

I sent Ivan up to a celebrity
hair‐cutting benefit in Harlem.

And bam... my headache is gone.

Hey, copy aide.

You should have
your barber beaten.

What the hell happened to you?

Oh, people just seem to open up
more if you let them release

your natural curl pattern.

And I have uncovered
the scoop of the year.

Well, unless God dropped by
the hairathon for extensions

I don't wanna hear it.

Well, close to God.

Reverend Jesse Jackson
is about to be appointed

to a cabinet position. I got
it from the man himself.

Jesse Jackson was
at a hairathon.

And told you he was gettin'
a cabinet position?

Yeah. He was sitting right
next to Al Sharpton.

I have it on tape.

(Jesse) 'Racism, hypnotism.'

That's Jesse, alright.

(Jesse) 'Oh, yes, I'm very excited
about the new cabinet position.'

'We're gonna do a lot of
new exciting things.'

'Now, if you'll excuse
me, Reverend Sharpton'

'Don King needs my chair.'

Ivan, this is good stuff.

Did you get the
other confirmation?

Well, no. I came
right back here.

I knew we had a deadline.

Oh, we gotta verify this.

I'll get on the phone
with the White House.

You get on the phone
with Jesse's people.

Oh, this is so exciting.

I'll make coffee!

[instrumental music]

Alright. I just got off the
phone with Jesse's people

and he said "No
comment" and hung up.

Pfft. Well, I just got off the
phone with the White House.

They said they can neither
confirm nor deny.

That's the standard smokescreen
for, "Uh‐oh, we got busted."

For my part, it's the best damn
cup of coffee I've ever made.

So what are we gonna do, boss?

Tell you what we're gonna do

this little monthly is about to
scoop the hell out of everyone.

"The Voice," "The Times."

Hell, we're gonna
scoop the world!

Isn't this one of those moments
that you get so caught up in it

you grab the closest
person to you

and you give him a big
wet kiss on the mouth?

You know, you're right.

Uh‐oh, oops, that
moment just passed.

Get to work.

Coffee?

Hey, hey, anybody call?

Um, just, umm..

Uh, Marlon Brando called.

Said he was depressed
that you a better

godfather than he was.

Oh, so you're still
trippin', I see, huh?

Naw, you the one that's
trippin', Fredo.

And that big creature you got
there ain't gonna do nothing

but scare the bejesus
out that child.

You know, Overton, I'm about
sick and tired of you makin' out

like I'm the world's
worst godfather.

Well, I don't know
about worst, but‐‐.

Look, look, man, this means
a lot to me, alright?

And you could at least be a
little bit happy for me.

Well, I mean, I guess I am
a little happy for you.

And, heaven forbid, anything
happen to Jeff and Sylvia.

Sure you'd do a wonderful
job raising that kid.

Yeah, thank you.

Wai‐wait, wha‐wait,
wai‐wai‐wait, wha‐wha‐what..

What do you mean "Raising?"
Raisin' the kid?

Man, that's the godfather's
most sacred duty.

If anything happen to the
parents, you the man.

Uh‐uh.

Oh, wha‐wha‐what, wha‐what
kind of madness is that, man?

No, look, all I thought I
had to do was buy the kid

a few presents, you know.

Uh, make sure I
remember his birthdays

and when he turns 21, take
him to his first strip club.

Shorty, relax.

Jeff and Sylvia are the
picture of health, man.

No, they are not, man.

Jeff has asthma and Sylvia..

Well, let's face it,
girlie weighs 320 pounds.

Naw, she's about 340.

She's been eatin'
'em biscuits, man.

Man, whatever. You know, girlie
would choke on a pot pie

fall on Jeff and bam,
the kid is mine.

Oh, nothing's going to happen,
I mean, even if it did..

You've been in that big brother
program for three years

and look Kevon's not
entirely screwed up, is he?

Hm, he isn't, is he?

Except for his
tendency to wanna lay

his head on Synclaire's chest.

Can you blame him?

Um, Overton, look, man, this,
this is a huge responsibility

and if I'm gonna handle it,
I'm gonna need your help.

Sure, you want me to
be sort of like a..

God‐coach?

Hey.

Well, man, guess if I
can't be the godfather

being the god‐coach is
the next best thing.

‐ There you go. ‐ Cool.

Alright, cool.

And my first act as god‐coach is

to congratulate you
on getting over

that crush you had on
Sylvia back in high school.

Brother, you dodged
one big bullet.

Whoo! I'm telling you, man.

[indistinct chattering]

Nothin' in "The Voice"
about Jesse Jackson

gettin' a cabinet post.

[chuckles] Jet missed the boat.

And not a word in
"The New York Times."

Uh, except this in
the home section.

The home section?

It's an article about
Jesse Jackson's plans

to re‐design his kitchen.

Quote, "I'm thrilled about
the new cabinet position."

"Once everything is in
place, we'll be able to do

"some new exciting things like

have an entire shelf
just for cereal."

This is the most
embarrassing moment

in the history of "Flavor."

I told you the
hobblin' messenger boy

was trouble from the start.

Synclaire, call the distributor.

Tell him to bundle
up all the magazines

and send them back.

We're gonna have to eat
costs on this one.

[whistling]

Oh..

Wassup, Scoop?

[sighs]

I figured I'd come in and get

a few advance
copies of "Flavor."

One for my professor, a
couple for my family.

And I'll take the remainder
and just run up and down

the street yelling,
"Extra, extra!"

Try runnin' up and down
the street yellin'

"I'm a goat head!
I'm a goat head!"

‐ Ay, oh. ‐ Ah‐ha!

Hey, you guys.

I was at the video
store's return bin

for 20 minutes waitin'
on this movie, so..

I'm gonna turn off whatever
tired little thing

you all are watchin'.

And pop this in.

[sighs]

"Faint pulse,"
that's a good flick.

I never really got
the ending though.

Quintella was the murderer.

The reason why they found
the lipstick on the lamp

is because one of his multiple
personalities was a woman.

[gasps] Oh, my God!
That's a shocker.

You are a virus with braids.

And you're a leprechaun
with a weave.

Hey, hey, you think that
chocolate pudding is ready yet?

No, not yet, not yet.

‐ Let's go drink it anyway. ‐
I was hoping you'd say that.

‐ Alright. ‐ Ah!

[knock on the door]

Ivan, what are you doin' here?

I just stopped by to
tell you that, um..

I'm givin' up journalism.

And I'm gonna join my
father's business.

He runs the sloth exhibit
at the Yonkers zoo.

[sighs] Ivan, please,
stop the drama.

Look, "Flavor" is my magazine.

I decided to run the article

that makes me responsible.

Well, yeah, that's true,
but it was my story.

Yeah, but I should
have known better.

You have absolutely
no experience at all.

You have no idea
what you're doin'.

So what you're sayin' is that

you want me to stay at "Flavor"

and you realize
that you're lookin'

into the eyes of your soulmate.

Yes, for the first part.

Fool, get a grip, to the second.

Thanks, Khadijah.

You're just the beacon of hope

with a body that won't
quit, aren't you?

Ivan, before you pour
it on any thicker

I have another
assignment for you.

So, well, consider it done.

‐ Well, I want you to go home..
‐ Yeah, and?

That's it. Thanks, bye.

(Ivan) 'Well, I‐I'll see
you tomorrow, boss.'

(female narrator)
We'll be right back.

(Overton) 'Kyle, I just want
to say one more time, man'

'this is the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.'

[baby gurgling]

(Kyle) 'Y‐you're not going
to cry again, are you?'

[baby crying]

(male ♫1) 'Jeff, Sylvia'

'this is a blessed
moment in your lives'

'and the life of your son.'

'I Christen thee, Cecil
Overton Moesby.'

(Overton) 'That's Cecil.'

(male ♫1) 'Correction.'

'That's Cecil Overton Moesby.'

(Overton) 'Close enough.'

(female ♫1) Woo‐hoo!