Original subtitles

(Synclaire) Regine, why am I doing this again?

To stop unsightly laugh lines and crow's‐feet

even before they begin.

Well, how come you don't use 'em?

I don't need them.

Regine, how long do I keep my feet in this thing?

Honey, I've seen the corns

you might wanna just settle on in for the night.

‐ Hey, y'all. ‐ No!

Hey, Joe. Joe, I really had a really good time.

I‐I would love to invite you in but there's, uh..

Some major reconstruction going on, I'll see you later.

Okay. What the hell?

For your information, we are having a beauty night.

It ain't working.

[doorbell ringing]

Uh, be right there.

What is this guy's name?

Uh, sounds like a sandwich.

Filet‐O‐Fish?

Yeah, Synclaire. That's it.

Reuben!

Bye.

Man, that used to be us.

Dates back to back, couldn't keep 'em straight.

Now, look at us. Manless.

Excuse you. We have men.

That's right.

I got somebody who'd look at these corns, and still smile.

I may not have a man at the moment.

But it is not been that long since I've had a date.

Oh, my God. It's been over two months.

Things haven't been this bad since the drought of '89.

And that was only because I was visiting friends in Alabama.

And refused to go out with anyone

named Baby Brother, Butter or Bookie.

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh in a nineties kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life gets tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living single ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Do what you want ♪

♪ No free position ♪

♪ Ha‐aa ♪

Oh!

[laughter]

Max, what's the legal angle on the dispute

between the Road Runner and the Coyote?

Well, he could charge the Road Runner with battery.

Trouble is he's got no witnesses, you know

he's a known buyer of explosives.

The bird could always plead self‐defense.

And you are talking about a cartoon coyote.

Get a life.

[all whooping]

Are you going out again?

What is this, your third date in sixteen hours?

It's gotta be some kind of record.

What a coincidence. Regine is working on her record herself.

‐ What kind of record? ‐ Well, let's just say..

The last time Regine had a date

Hugh Grant didn't have to buy his.

You know, this sounds like that drought you had in '89.

[doorbell ringing] Oh.

That's my match, Davin.

‐ Davin. ‐ Davin.

Baby, I'm back.

Yeah, Khadijah, look at that.

I told you we could count on Scooter.

I mean he drops by every 11 months just like clockwork.

Nice to see you too, Max.

I had to cancel the last leg of our tour.

Our lead singer broke her nose

when one of her garters gave way.

Dear God, clothing can be dangerous.

I once sprained my ankle putting on flip‐flops.

I really missed you, Khadijah.

Well, I see how that could happen

over the course of a year.

Oh!

[mumbling]

Uh, well, look. Hey, I'm happy to see you, Scooter.

Uh, let me give you a little sports update.

‐ Mmm. ‐ See, football didn't strike.

Uh, basketball almost had a strike.

‐ Baseball in the day strike. ‐ Mmm.

Personally I'm hopin' for a damn golf strike.

So, Scooter.

‐ What'd ya bring me back? ‐ Oh, oh.

I know you brought me something back.

I know you like to buy me a gift.

Ha‐ha!

One hundred percent human hair from the Philippines.

Oh, y'all, she used conditioner. Oh!

And, Synclaire, heh. I got you these tapes.

"How to speak English in fourteen days?"

‐ It's in German. ‐ Oh. Oh.

Max. I got you the hottest new video game from Japan.

‐ "Blooded Teeth of Justice." ‐ Mmm.

Gimme that.

Eh, it's no bag of hair, but I'll take it.

So, uh, Terrence.

Uh, you got any more international trinkets

in that bag? You know, uh..

Oh‐oh‐oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, uh..

You know that, uh, I‐I never forget my boys.

‐ You know what I'm saying? ‐ Yeah, yeah, come, I'm waiting.

Yeah, yeah, here.

Oh, wow. A Jetway magazine.

And you've even taken care to do the crossword puzzle for me.

Gee, thanks.

Headphones.

Yeah, all I need now is a DC‐10, I'm in business.

Khadijah, I got you something in Australia.

See when I saw this, I immediately thought of us.

No matter how far a boomerang flies, it always comes back.

[doorbell rings]

Uh, look I would love to stay here

and catch up with you but I kinda made other plans.

‐ Hey, Davin. ‐ Hello.

Well, if your game is as good as you look, I'm in trouble.

See ya.

Thanks, man!

You know, I can't believe Scooter thinks he could just

stroll up in here and pick up where he left off.

But he's so cute though.

You know, thrown just right

you could take somebody's head off with this thing.

[imitating boomerang]

What the heck, and why would you?

Hey.

We have plenty of food in the fridge. What is all this?

We took a little trip to the frozen food section

or as I like to call it, bachelor row.

I figured I'd get a hungry man dinner

and perhaps a hungry man.

I can't believe I came up empty.

I suggested she stand next to the imported beer fridge.

But no.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

Yes, she is. One moment.

Regine, it's some guy for you.

Gimme that.

Hello, this is Regine Hunter.

Oh, yeah.

It's the carpet cleaner.

Ah, yeah, listen, um..

I got this big wine stain on my rug

and it's domestic, so it's got to go.

My voice is not sexy.

It is not..

Sexy.

Dinner? Oh, well, aren't we forward?

Where?

Uh, could you hold on a moment, thanks.

What? I'm about to get a date.

Think about it, desperado.

Now, what guy do you know that would go out

with a woman sight unseen?

The kind who lives in his mom's basement.

Uh, Cleophus..

(all) Cleophus?

Oh, God.

That's just Latin for ugly.

Uh, listen, about dinner? No.

[doorbell rings]

Take heart, Regine.

I mean, maybe that's the Roto‐Rooter man

and you can throw yourself at him, alright?

Oh, let me guess. Baby, I'm back again.

Uh, Khadijah, I was wondering, can we go some place and talk?

Um, we'll go up on the roof.

It's kinda cold up there, isn't it?

Well, I got a feeling whatever we talk

is going to be a little chilly.

(Max) 'Darn right.'

[Regine laughing]

You got five minutes to explain yourself.

‐ Well, I wanted to call. ‐ Time is up!

And how could you just leave me hanging like that?

Look, I know. I know I should've called or written more, alright?

But dealing with the group an‐and the press

and the time changes..

And then weeks pass by, after a while

I just felt too embarrassed to call.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

Now, you know you could've called me

any time, day or night.

Because I like a fool sat by that phone for three months.

Khadijah, I don't have a good excuse for what I did.

Alright? Except to say I'm sorry.

And you think an apology, and this tired boomerang

are gonna make everything better?

I am this close to hating you.

As a matter of fact, I really don't even wanna..

Khadijah, will you marry me?

Yes.

Whoa, duck!

That is the stupidest looking grin I've ever seen.

What have you two been doing?

Ah! You got engaged!

Oh, oh.. Khadijah's getting married.

Right in the middle of Regine's drought.

I love it when life is bittersweet.

Yeah, oh, my God, you sure are one smooth talker, huh?

Yeah, yeah, you know, I didn't think..

I didn't think you'd come back engaged.

In fact, I didn't think one of you'd

come back at all.

It needs to be sized, but isn't it beautiful?

Oh, well, I don't have my loupe, but, oh, it has good fire

very few occlusions, color's about a 'G' or an 'H.'

And it's almost two carats.

That's a lot of love.

Well, hey, hey, excuse us people.

Uh, we're gonna go upstairs and, uh, call our parents.

Well, um, you know, there's a phone right here.

Um, not for this call.

[knocking on door]

If you're not a burglar, come on in.

Oh, well, if it isn't the marrying man.

Hey, fellas.

Alright, what are you doing

Saturday, February 11th at 1 p. m.?

That'd be at my standing head shave appointment

at Snappy's Afro Hut.

I assume I'll be attending a wedding.

‐ Yeah. ‐ Yeah.

Sounds like we both got plans.

What you got in mind, Scooter?

‐ Brew? ‐ Yeah.

February 11th is the day I start my new life with Khadijah.

And I want both y'all to be there.

Alright, I only got two questions, money.

‐ 'Hmm.' ‐ Is it formal?

And why the hell are you and Khadijah getting married?

I don't know why you're surprised, man.

You know, Khadijah and I were probably gonna get married

somewhere down the line.

Whoa, ho‐ho ho‐ho. "Probably?"

"Somewhere down the line?"

What are you gonna say to the minister?

I do, I think?

Yeah, hold up, homey, 'cause Khadijah's like family to us.

You better be a hundred percent sure before you stand up

in front of God and that one drunk relative

who just can't seem to wait for the reception.

‐ You know, Uncle Scoop. ‐ Yeah.

Well, homies, I'll tell you something.

‐ I'm not a 100 percent sure. ‐ Uh‐huh.

I'm 200 percent sure.

I'm 300 percent sure.

Hell, I'm 400 percent sure.

Okay, you are whole hell of a lot of sure. Uh.

You know, I get the feeling y'all don't think

this is a good idea.

What we think is really not relevant.

Uh, but I want your opinion.

Not that I'm not rock solid in my position.

‐ You know? ‐ 'Heh‐heh.'

Alright.

Well, I'll tell you what I think.

I think you, uh, you got a little lonely

out on tour.

Eh‐heh. And that you kinda missed Khadijah. Yeah?

Mm‐hmm.

Then you come back home

and find out things is a little shaky.

And so you made an impulsive decision

that could lead to a very rocky marriage.

And a sad, sad life.

Oh, I'm so excited.

A February wedding.

Oh, the snow will be falling all around us.

You'll be able to see your breath as you recite your vows.

Synclaire, the wedding is gonna be inside.

Oh. That's nice if you want everything room temperature.

Who cares where it is.

Let's focus on the priorities.

Now, I'll be the maid of honor, since I photograph the best.

And I want to wear something a little different.

Khadijah, you're making the biggest mistake of your life!

Thank God, somebody said it.

Whoo, I was just about to.

Did I miss something?

Look. Khadijah, what happened?

I mean, how can you just trust him like this?

What happened to all that lovely hatred

that you were developing for him?

I don't know.

I was all ready to tell him where to go.

And then, when he proposed, it just, it just came out yes.

Have you really thought this thing out?

The ring turned you, didn't it?

Two carats can be very persuasive.

Three carats and I'd marry dang near anybody.

Alright, now, Khadijah

I've never been one to stand in the way of the love train.

[imitating train]

But why are you in such a rush for this thing?

[gasps] Oh, my God, you're pregnant.

Okay, it's okay.

And nobody needs to know, but just us, okay?

Woo‐woo‐woo. Woo‐woo‐woo.

Bless you, Synclaire.

Now the townspeople won't stone me.

Look, I'm marrying Scooter

no matter what you think.

And from what I'm hearing, it sounds like

y'all don't even wanna be bridesmaids.

Oh, no. I'll be there.

I mean, I'll be hugging a champagne bottle

but I'll be there.

I'm showin' you my dress.

[doorbell ringing]

Yeah, I know, mom.

And I don't know what's happening, but I..

I'll call you back.

Good afternoon. I'm Cleophus Wade.

The carpet cleaner?

Well, w‐where's your jumpsuit? Where's your hairnet?

[laughs] I'm afraid this is the uniform you wear

when you own the company.

You must be Miss Hunter.

Do come in.

Listen.

I wanted to come by to give you a free estimate.

Really? After the way I spoke to you on the phone?

Oh, what a sweet man you are.

Oh, is that Cerruti?

Uh‐huh. Miss Hunter.

I appreciate what you did for me when you hung up in my face.

Oh..

Afterwards, I realized..

Life is too short.

So, I decided to give my ex‐girlfriend a call

and we went out last night..

And it was just like old times.

Shopping on Fifth Avenue.

Five‐course dinner.

Afterwards, I took the top off my Porsche

and we drove down to Atlantic City

'for an evening of Cognac, Blackjack and Pebo.'

God, I love that woman.

Look, anyway, look, we, we should really

get to that wine stain, I..

I've gotta pick my lady up in an hour.

Oh, forget about the stain.

I'm‐I'm sure I can get it out with, um, a‐a baking soda.

Uh, baby wipes.

Tears.

Well, if you say so.

That gives me enough time to pick her up

little something from Chanel.

Hey, why don't you get him to get you some.

You love Chanel.

Latin for ugly?

Latin's a dead language.

Sort of like your love life. Meep‐meep!

[chuckles]

Uh, well, if it isn't Mr. Scooter.

Hey, Hyman.

I'd like to introduce you to my fiance.

‐ Khadijah. ‐ Hi.

Oh, mazel tov, woo‐hoo‐hoo.

Damp hands. Somebody's nervous.

Here, let‐let me, let me size this for you.

Scooter tells me

you've known each other your whole lives.

Mm‐hmm. We were first grade kickball champs.

Ah, now. When you kick a ball at a woman, you know her.

It's nice to see

young people having solid relationships

and getting married.

It's‐it's good for business.

In the 70s..

All those one‐night stands

people shacking up..

Nobody bought a wedding ring.

All I could sell was the occasional medallion.

Nowadays

people are taking the time

to get to know each other

and invest in a quality wedding.

Take a look.

Platinum, gold..

Don't ask.

I'll be right back.

So, what, what do you think about that ring?

Umm, na.

What about these?

Na.

‐ That one? ‐ Don't ask.

Terrence, why did you propose to me?

What?

Well, I just realized that's one of the things

I don't know about you.

Why you proposed.

Because, uh, I wanted to get married.

Uh, because you're my best friend.

Because I was afraid of losing you.

So you proposed out of fear?

That's an awfully

accurate way of putting it.

Well, that's funny.

'Cause that's exactly why I accepted.

Really?

I didn't wanna lose you again.

Look, Scooter, we weren't ready to be married before you left.

What makes you think we are ready now?

[exhales] I don't know.

I mean, I don't even know if we're ready

to pick up where we left off.

Maybe we should back things up.

Can we back things up to the point

where we were friends?

So are you breaking up with me?

I think so.

My girl.

[laughing]

Let me explain.

It's a little warm now

and it should feel a bit loose

but as the metal cools

it should become more snug and be a perfect fit.

Hyman, we're not getting married.

You let me go through this whole explanation?

Sorry.

I'm the one who's sorry.

This is an $8000 sale.

But, since I like you..

My wife sadly didn't make it to the bank.

Here's your down payment.

Hey, I appreciate that, Hyman.

Eh..

$8000?

I'm a good friend.

Well, lookie here, friend, I got a little birthday coming up.

(female narrator) We'll be right back.

Regine, what are you doing up here?

Don't you have a date with some doctor in few minutes?

Yeah. But my mom set this up.

So I wanna get a good look at this guy

before I go anywhere with him.

Yeah, she says he drives some sort of yellow car.

Like that yellow Ferrari that just drove up?

Ow, uh‐uh, and the license plates says "HOT‐MD."

He's getting out.

Oh, my God.

Oh, he's perfect. He's fine.

Oh, he's mine.

Ah. Yoo‐hoo!

Be right down.

[screaming]

Damn! He is a good catch.

(female ♫1) Woo‐hoo!