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1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:04,166
There we go. Uh‐huh.
2
00:00:08,933 --> 00:00:11,133
What are you doin'?
3
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,200
I'm catching the dust before
it lands on anything.
4
00:00:15,866 --> 00:00:17,666
Why do you even
bother to fake it?
5
00:00:17,733 --> 00:00:20,433
Because it annoys you.
6
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,733
Good morning!
7
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,533
Don't even try tellin' me those
things followed you home.
8
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,933
I went to buy Kyle a
plant for his birthday.
9
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,700
I decided to adopt
these others as pets.
10
00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:33,400
Oh, sure, they don't
kick their leg
11
00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:34,400
when you scratch their belly
12
00:00:34,466 --> 00:00:36,266
but the unconditional
love is the same.
13
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:41,133
Not to mention they don't lick
themselves in front of company.
14
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:45,233
You know, people live longer
when they're around plants.
15
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:48,200
‐ Really? ‐ I'm guessing.
16
00:00:48,266 --> 00:00:51,200
Alright. So, anyway,
on my way home..
17
00:00:51,266 --> 00:00:52,966
I got real acquainted
with these guys
18
00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:55,633
and I'd like you two to tell
them a little about yourselves.
19
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:58,200
Come on! Come.
20
00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,266
Regine?
21
00:01:00,873 --> 00:01:02,806
It was dominating
the conversation.
22
00:01:06,573 --> 00:01:08,473
Hi, I'm Khadijah.
23
00:01:08,539 --> 00:01:10,673
And, uh, I'll be
taking care of you
24
00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:12,840
after they cart her
off to Bellevue.
25
00:01:14,273 --> 00:01:15,473
What's that?
26
00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:16,540
What you worried about?
27
00:01:16,606 --> 00:01:18,006
I'm the one that's
related to her.
28
00:01:20,406 --> 00:01:23,106
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
29
00:01:23,173 --> 00:01:24,806
♪ Single ♪
30
00:01:24,873 --> 00:01:27,273
♪ Ooh in a nineties
kinda world ♪
31
00:01:27,340 --> 00:01:29,606
♪ I'm glad I've got my girls ♪
32
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:30,873
♪ Oh keep your head up what ♪
33
00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:32,340
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
34
00:01:32,406 --> 00:01:34,340
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
35
00:01:34,406 --> 00:01:36,673
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
36
00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:38,473
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
37
00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:40,116
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
38
00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:41,260
♪ Check check check it out ♪
39
00:01:41,306 --> 00:01:42,240
♪ Single ♪
♪ Do what you want ♪
40
00:01:42,306 --> 00:01:44,773
♪ No free position ♪
41
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,306
♪ Ha‐aa ♪
42
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,580
Well, you're still here.
43
00:02:14,646 --> 00:02:17,279
Oh, well, Max, look at you.
Up at the crack of lunch.
44
00:02:19,746 --> 00:02:21,146
Do you see any gray hairs?
45
00:02:21,213 --> 00:02:23,680
Believe me, you don't have
to worry about going gray.
46
00:02:23,746 --> 00:02:24,780
‐ Really? ‐ No.
47
00:02:24,846 --> 00:02:27,046
It's one of the benefits
of premature balding.
48
00:02:28,346 --> 00:02:29,913
‐ Yeah. Oh.. ‐ Uhh..
49
00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:32,013
[sarcastic laughter]
50
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,246
Uh..
51
00:02:33,313 --> 00:02:34,580
Um, y‐y‐you don't feel
52
00:02:34,646 --> 00:02:36,046
any love handles
down there, do you?
53
00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:38,403
No, I can't feel anything
through that roll of fat.
54
00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:43,346
You should really think
about working for Hallmark.
55
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,546
Is all this funk about
you turnin' 30 tomorrow?
56
00:02:45,613 --> 00:02:47,146
I have no problem with that.
57
00:02:47,213 --> 00:02:49,293
Well, then why do you keep
saying that you're turning
58
00:02:49,317 --> 00:02:51,617
twenty‐nine and three hundred
and sixty‐five days?
59
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,413
I work with numbers. Eh.
60
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,240
Well, then you've known
for some time that 30
61
00:02:56,264 --> 00:02:58,946
is the number right after 29.
What is the problem?
62
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:00,920
I'm never going to be a
pro ballplayer, okay?
63
00:03:00,986 --> 00:03:02,520
There, now you know.
64
00:03:02,586 --> 00:03:05,186
Oh, Kyle. Your
nickname is Shorty.
65
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:10,520
Maxine, I am older than almost
everybody on the Orlando Magic.
66
00:03:10,586 --> 00:03:12,853
I'm older than most cops.
67
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,286
Hell, I'm older
than "Boyz II Men."
68
00:03:14,353 --> 00:03:16,420
Look, c‐can we just
change the subject?
69
00:03:16,486 --> 00:03:18,420
Uh, sure. Fine with me.
70
00:03:19,653 --> 00:03:22,386
So, um, what are you
doin' tomorrow?
71
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:25,320
Continuing to enjoy my 20s.
72
00:03:31,220 --> 00:03:32,753
Well, do you have any idea
73
00:03:32,820 --> 00:03:36,186
what people that we may know
74
00:03:36,253 --> 00:03:39,353
are planning on doing tomorrow?
75
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,953
Is there anything in particular
76
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:45,220
you would like them
to be doing tomorrow?
77
00:03:46,853 --> 00:03:48,353
Well, I don't want a party.
78
00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:49,786
What kind of party
don't you want?
79
00:03:49,853 --> 00:03:51,853
Um, something
opulent, yet refined.
80
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,853
Something dignified,
yet jubilant.
81
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,720
Sort of like the
election of a Pope.
82
00:03:56,786 --> 00:03:57,720
Exactly.
83
00:03:57,786 --> 00:03:59,586
And whatever you do, make sure.
84
00:03:59,653 --> 00:04:01,993
Overton doesn't throw
another bowlin' party.
85
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:04,426
I don't think I can take
another 21‐lane salute.
86
00:04:09,569 --> 00:04:10,569
Does it ever bother you that you
87
00:04:10,593 --> 00:04:11,926
goin' out with an older man?
88
00:04:11,993 --> 00:04:14,426
Not at all. I've always
wanted a father figure. Now..
89
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:19,960
Let's celebrate the
last days of your 20s
90
00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:25,360
by taking advantage of your
waning sexual ability.
91
00:04:25,426 --> 00:04:26,960
Oh, you are going
to regret that.
92
00:04:27,026 --> 00:04:29,293
[Max squealing]
93
00:04:35,826 --> 00:04:38,759
This Dustbuster manual
is fascinatin'.
94
00:04:38,826 --> 00:04:40,260
Did you know that dust mites
95
00:04:40,326 --> 00:04:42,660
are distantly related
to sea monkeys?
96
00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:48,360
Eat, eat! You're
looking so droopy.
97
00:04:48,426 --> 00:04:50,760
What do you want, your leaves
should be eaten by ladybugs?
98
00:04:50,826 --> 00:04:53,193
Your mother's getting upset.
99
00:04:57,926 --> 00:04:59,026
[sighs]
100
00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:02,700
You have sex with a man.
101
00:05:03,966 --> 00:05:06,166
Decide to see him exclusively.
102
00:05:06,233 --> 00:05:08,466
Let him set up a Waterpik
at your apartment.
103
00:05:08,533 --> 00:05:11,566
And all of a sudden, he
thinks it's a relationship.
104
00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:16,000
‐ Is this about Kyle? ‐ Yes.
105
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,733
I don't wanna hear it.
106
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,100
Oh, Khadijah, that's
not very nice.
107
00:05:20,166 --> 00:05:22,033
Well, neither is
this relationship.
108
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:24,566
Kyle is like a brother to me
and Max is like a sister.
109
00:05:26,366 --> 00:05:28,600
Oh, the whole thing
just turns my stomach.
110
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:33,866
Well, just the thought of Max
as a sister makes me sick.
111
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:39,033
The man keeps hinting around
about wanting a birthday party.
112
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:41,266
And he wants me to put
it together for him.
113
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:43,266
Well, you are his girl.
114
00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:45,833
He's poisoned your mind too.
115
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:48,033
Look, this relationship
is just too much work.
116
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,100
You've got to be caring.
You've got to communicate.
117
00:05:50,124 --> 00:05:51,433
You've got to throw a party.
118
00:05:51,460 --> 00:05:52,700
‐ You've got to‐‐ ‐ Buy a gift.
119
00:05:52,724 --> 00:05:54,824
Damn, does he expect me
to buy him a gift too?
120
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:58,500
I mean, I definitely got to
get rid of him by Christmas.
121
00:06:00,573 --> 00:06:03,706
Okay, now, relax your
little green muscles.
122
00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:05,940
Relax.
123
00:06:06,006 --> 00:06:07,906
You know, uh, you
could pretend that
124
00:06:07,973 --> 00:06:10,940
I'm a azalea just
starvin' for sunshine.
125
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:16,940
Overton, what are you gettin'
Kyle for his birthday?
126
00:06:17,006 --> 00:06:19,106
Shorty and I have a system.
127
00:06:19,173 --> 00:06:22,140
This year, I'm getting him
a heavy‐duty Sawzall.
128
00:06:22,206 --> 00:06:24,940
And for my birthday, I can
look forward to a silk jacket
129
00:06:25,006 --> 00:06:27,373
two sizes too small.
130
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,140
Well, can I get in on
that Sawzall with ya?
131
00:06:31,773 --> 00:06:33,206
Max, you have to buy something
132
00:06:33,273 --> 00:06:35,106
a little more
romantic than that.
133
00:06:36,273 --> 00:06:38,640
Romantic.. A stripper.
134
00:06:39,873 --> 00:06:41,473
Tell me something that
a man wants to see
135
00:06:41,540 --> 00:06:43,173
more than a naked woman.
136
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,073
A naked woman with
Super Bowl tickets.
137
00:06:48,473 --> 00:06:49,773
Naw, what Kyle needs
138
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,440
is something that'll
make him feel better
139
00:06:51,473 --> 00:06:53,540
about turning the big three‐oh.
140
00:06:53,606 --> 00:06:56,173
You know, studies show
that a man's grip
141
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,840
is stronger in his thirties
than any time in his life.
142
00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:01,946
So, I say, we get
him one of those
143
00:07:02,013 --> 00:07:05,780
Lou Ferrigno Incredible
Hulk master grip sets.
144
00:07:05,846 --> 00:07:07,646
That way, he can feel
like a kid again
145
00:07:07,713 --> 00:07:10,780
you know, from the
wrist down, anyway.
146
00:07:10,846 --> 00:07:13,580
Well, I'm just gonna throw him a party.
That's gift enough.
147
00:07:13,646 --> 00:07:15,913
Hey, well, look here,
you just say the word
148
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:18,380
and I'll whip up one
of my fantastic
149
00:07:18,446 --> 00:07:20,313
bowling birthday parties.
150
00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:22,146
He doesn't want one of those.
151
00:07:22,213 --> 00:07:23,146
How do you know?
152
00:07:23,213 --> 00:07:24,946
He told me.
153
00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:30,813
Okay, y'all, so,
what kind of party
154
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:31,880
do you throw for somebody
155
00:07:31,913 --> 00:07:33,546
who is dreading their birthday?
156
00:07:33,613 --> 00:07:35,146
Don't ask me.
157
00:07:35,213 --> 00:07:37,322
I haven't enjoyed my birthday
since I was eight years old.
158
00:07:37,346 --> 00:07:38,846
Remember with the Chuck E.
Cheeses?
159
00:07:38,913 --> 00:07:40,246
‐ Yeah! ‐ We ate some pizza.
160
00:07:40,313 --> 00:07:42,446
And then we ripped the
costume off the mouse.
161
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,546
And that's when we found out
162
00:07:45,613 --> 00:07:47,546
that Reverend Roberts
was moonlighting.
163
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,522
Come on, there's
nothing exciting
164
00:07:50,546 --> 00:07:51,546
about birthdays anymore.
165
00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:53,220
When you're a kid, you
get to look forward
166
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,489
to cake and musical chairs. When
you're 18, you get to vote.
167
00:07:55,513 --> 00:07:56,793
When you're 21,
you get to drink.
168
00:07:56,817 --> 00:07:58,046
After that, just pick yourself
169
00:07:58,113 --> 00:07:59,446
up a box of laxatives
170
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,393
get your dentures at the
door and stop trippin'.
171
00:08:05,386 --> 00:08:07,486
Hey! I got a good idea.
172
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:10,520
Why don't we throw a‐a party for
Kyle like when we were kids?
173
00:08:10,586 --> 00:08:13,720
You know, with balloons and
Pin the Tail on the Donkey
174
00:08:13,786 --> 00:08:16,286
and, and, and Chutes and
Ladders and Candy Land, and‐‐.
175
00:08:16,353 --> 00:08:17,620
Candy Land?
176
00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:21,486
A party like that for Kyle?
177
00:08:21,553 --> 00:08:24,186
The man owns an ascot.
178
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,253
Don't be so focused on Kyle.
179
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,853
This could be a way for us
to relive our childhood.
180
00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:31,620
Yeah, alright, good point.
181
00:08:31,686 --> 00:08:33,886
And if this party
doesn't make him happy
182
00:08:33,953 --> 00:08:35,453
it'll at least work his nerves.
183
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,153
Either way, my job is done.
184
00:08:47,020 --> 00:08:48,020
Okay, check this out.
185
00:08:48,053 --> 00:08:50,686
This is William Shatner
in "Star Trek I."
186
00:08:50,753 --> 00:08:52,520
Two, three, four.
187
00:08:52,586 --> 00:08:58,020
"T.J. Hooker." Five.
"Rescue 911."
188
00:08:58,086 --> 00:08:59,553
You know, we at
least put the photo
189
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:01,026
of little Kyle in a bowtie
190
00:09:01,093 --> 00:09:03,260
looking like he's about to
sell somebody a beanbag.
191
00:09:05,026 --> 00:09:07,793
Oh, what is it, my
beautiful botanist?
192
00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,793
My daisies.
193
00:09:09,860 --> 00:09:13,126
They've gone to the big macrame
plant holder in the sky.
194
00:09:14,793 --> 00:09:16,960
‐ Sorry to hear that.
‐ Yeah, me too.
195
00:09:17,026 --> 00:09:19,493
I was kinda hoping there'd
be no macrame in heaven.
196
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:23,293
Attention, everyone.
197
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,926
Thank you.
198
00:09:24,993 --> 00:09:28,893
As you all can see, we have
suffered a terrible loss.
199
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,493
But it is Kyle's birthday.
200
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:35,793
And, um, you know, the
party must go on.
201
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:41,860
I believe the brothers Vladimir
would have wanted it that way.
202
00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:44,493
(all) Surprise!
203
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,893
(Max) Surprise, surprise.
204
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:51,160
Oh, alright. What do you think?
205
00:09:51,226 --> 00:09:52,786
Yeah, well, when you
called me down here
206
00:09:52,810 --> 00:09:55,460
for absolutely no reason..
Hi, good to see ya.
207
00:09:55,526 --> 00:09:57,960
Um, I suspected it
would be a party.
208
00:09:58,026 --> 00:09:59,900
But, uh, what the hell is this?
209
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,000
Smile!
210
00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:07,533
O‐or do that!
211
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:12,866
Hey, Mr. 30‐year‐old,
how ya doin'?
212
00:10:12,933 --> 00:10:16,300
Woo‐ho‐oh‐oh. You could hurt
somebody with that grip, huh?
213
00:10:18,666 --> 00:10:20,100
Thanks for the Sawzall, man.
214
00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:21,686
And you know, engraving
your name on it
215
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:23,633
that was a nice touch.
216
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:26,533
Kyle! Hey, honey,
happy birthday.
217
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,100
Well, tha..
218
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,500
Happy birthday.
219
00:10:36,566 --> 00:10:38,600
It's a money clip to
hold all of that dough
220
00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:39,946
you're going to
make in your 30s.
221
00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:41,133
Ah. Sweet.
222
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,866
And this is to get Regine back.
223
00:10:43,933 --> 00:10:45,300
No. No. No, no!
224
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,300
Hey, Kyle, I mean, uh, I
pretended to enjoy puttin'
225
00:10:53,366 --> 00:10:55,526
this, all of this together.
So, the least you can do is
226
00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:56,933
pretend to enjoy being here.
227
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,200
You know, I'm really
not up for this.
228
00:10:59,266 --> 00:11:01,040
I think Imma gonna
go back upstairs.
229
00:11:01,106 --> 00:11:02,606
Well, you can't leave now.
230
00:11:02,673 --> 00:11:06,073
Um, you haven't played
with the Slinky.
231
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:12,440
I've slunk.
232
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,106
Hey, hey, hey, birthday boy.
How 'bout a drink?
233
00:11:20,006 --> 00:11:22,840
I fear I'd never stop.
234
00:11:22,906 --> 00:11:25,740
Now, now, no birthday
boy can resist
235
00:11:25,806 --> 00:11:29,173
a game of Barnyard Twister!
236
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,140
Hey, you know you were the
Lafayette Elementary School.
237
00:11:32,206 --> 00:11:34,806
Twister champion.
238
00:11:34,873 --> 00:11:37,573
‐ Three years in a row.
‐ That's right!
239
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,000
‐ Oh, alright, one game.
‐ Alright.
240
00:11:39,024 --> 00:11:40,440
Oh, good. I'll just
do the spinner
241
00:11:40,506 --> 00:11:42,106
'cause ever since I
saw that movie "Babe"
242
00:11:42,173 --> 00:11:44,173
I have a real problem
steppin' on barnyard animals
243
00:11:44,239 --> 00:11:45,740
you know.
244
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,440
Go get the cake.
245
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:49,340
I hate getting the cake!
246
00:11:49,406 --> 00:11:51,906
You've got to keep the candles
burning, lead the singing.
247
00:11:51,973 --> 00:11:55,106
And you get that cake
line across your chest.
248
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,940
Then get your butt
down here on the mat.
249
00:11:58,006 --> 00:12:00,480
I gotta get the cake.
250
00:12:00,546 --> 00:12:03,013
Alright, players,
take your places.
251
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,046
‐ Alright. ‐ You know
I can handle it.
252
00:12:06,113 --> 00:12:07,780
‐ Yeah! ‐ Alright, ready?
253
00:12:07,846 --> 00:12:08,780
‐ Here we go! ‐ De‐bee‐dum‐dum.
254
00:12:08,846 --> 00:12:12,580
‐ Right hand.. Cow. ‐ Alright.
255
00:12:12,646 --> 00:12:16,246
Okay, okay. And, now,
left foot, rabbit.
256
00:12:16,313 --> 00:12:17,613
Alrighty.
257
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,613
Not bad for an old fogey, huh?
258
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:31,446
Yeah, I'd be a lot
more impressed
259
00:12:31,513 --> 00:12:34,280
if your butt wasn't
all up in my face.
260
00:12:34,346 --> 00:12:37,380
‐ Okay! Left hand, pig!
‐ Mm‐hmm.
261
00:12:37,446 --> 00:12:40,546
Oink, oink, oink, go get
the one right next to you.
262
00:12:40,613 --> 00:12:41,546
That's too easy.
263
00:12:41,613 --> 00:12:42,846
This will make me the once
264
00:12:42,913 --> 00:12:45,213
and future all‐time
Twister champion.
265
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,546
‐ Ahh! ‐ Oh..
266
00:12:47,613 --> 00:12:49,413
Oh, my back.
267
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,880
Happy birthday to,
uh, what happened?
268
00:12:54,713 --> 00:12:57,546
Oh, I'm old.
269
00:12:57,613 --> 00:12:59,080
You ain't gotta tell me that.
270
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,186
This cake can light
up New York City.
271
00:13:10,886 --> 00:13:12,720
Oh, it's a thing.
272
00:13:12,786 --> 00:13:17,486
Kyle Barker felled
by Barnyard Twister.
273
00:13:17,553 --> 00:13:19,686
Man, you shoulda known.
274
00:13:19,753 --> 00:13:22,686
It's one of the unwritten
rules of the game.
275
00:13:22,753 --> 00:13:25,220
Never pick the distant hog.
276
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:28,753
‐ Oww! ‐ Ow.
277
00:13:28,820 --> 00:13:31,053
Oh! Yee, you really are in pain.
278
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,286
You're just not doin' this
to make me feel guilty.
279
00:13:33,353 --> 00:13:35,286
Oh, that's a load off my mind.
280
00:13:36,786 --> 00:13:38,286
Oh, come on, Shorty,
give me your arm.
281
00:13:38,353 --> 00:13:40,113
Look, when‐when I need
help, I'll ask for it.
282
00:13:40,137 --> 00:13:41,570
I'm fine, I'm fine.
283
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:44,520
Oh!
284
00:13:46,753 --> 00:13:47,820
See?
285
00:13:47,886 --> 00:13:49,286
[groans]
286
00:13:49,353 --> 00:13:51,820
Okay. Bye‐bye, everyone.
287
00:13:51,886 --> 00:13:53,586
Is there anything
that I can do for ya?
288
00:13:53,653 --> 00:13:55,586
Yeah, you do any more
I'll need an ambulance.
289
00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:59,960
See? We should've
thrown a 70s party.
290
00:14:00,026 --> 00:14:01,026
Oh, but, no, no, no.
291
00:14:01,093 --> 00:14:03,026
He would've fallen
off his platforms.
292
00:14:09,026 --> 00:14:10,460
It's been almost
30 minutes, now.
293
00:14:10,526 --> 00:14:11,993
I don't think
Kyle's comin' back.
294
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:15,293
Twenty minutes is Shorty's
usual sulkin' time.
295
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:16,760
After that, he starts to worry
296
00:14:16,826 --> 00:14:18,926
that people might've
stopped talking about him.
297
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,360
Man, I should've
followed my heart
298
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,360
and gotten him a stripper.
299
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,593
Don't be so hard
on yourself, Max.
300
00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:30,493
If Twister crippled him, a
stripper woulda killed him.
301
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:35,660
Well, you know, I think
somebody should go upstairs
302
00:14:35,726 --> 00:14:37,660
and check on him.
303
00:14:40,926 --> 00:14:42,893
[sighs] It's one of 'em
girlfriend things, right?
304
00:14:44,793 --> 00:14:48,426
[moans] I've definitely got to
get rid of him by Christmas.
305
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:53,193
Kyle has always been so secure..
306
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:56,026
Almost arrogant.
307
00:14:56,093 --> 00:14:58,326
Okay, arrogant.
308
00:14:58,393 --> 00:15:00,200
I don't know why he's
trippin' like this.
309
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:03,100
Turning 30 can be
very difficult.
310
00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:05,066
That's why I simply refuse.
311
00:15:06,466 --> 00:15:09,566
Well, personally, I'm lookin'
forward to turning 30.
312
00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:10,933
Why is that, Obie?
313
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,333
'Cause I'm a optimist.
314
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,200
I look forward to
damn near anything.
315
00:15:15,266 --> 00:15:17,866
Well, I know why I'm lookin'
forward to turnin' 30.
316
00:15:19,066 --> 00:15:20,600
Twenty‐year‐old men..
317
00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:22,666
Looking for Mrs. Robinson.
318
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,100
Gone.
319
00:15:28,166 --> 00:15:30,666
They're all gone.
320
00:15:30,733 --> 00:15:33,666
I managed to kill 15
plants in two days.
321
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:37,033
Well, it's a good thing
you can't kill a ca..
322
00:15:40,466 --> 00:15:42,566
That's a nice pot, Synclaire.
323
00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:46,073
You know, I'm like
the Charles Manson
324
00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:47,800
of the plant world.
325
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,900
Synclaire, don't‐don't think
of the plants as dead.
326
00:15:52,966 --> 00:15:57,666
Think of them as alive
in a brown, droopy..
327
00:15:57,733 --> 00:16:00,873
Actually startin' to
smells kind of way.
328
00:16:02,606 --> 00:16:06,040
Well, why me? What'd I do?
329
00:16:06,106 --> 00:16:07,573
What didn't you do?
330
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,773
Look, if you weren't stuffin'
plant food down their roots
331
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,573
you were singin' to
them or trying to rap.
332
00:16:14,636 --> 00:16:15,916
The things committed plant‐icide
333
00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:17,206
to get away from you.
334
00:16:18,373 --> 00:16:20,273
So cheer up, honey,
don't think of yourself
335
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:22,873
as the Charles Manson
of the plant world.
336
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,006
More like the Doctor Kevorkian.
Ha, ha.
337
00:16:27,606 --> 00:16:30,540
You ingrates!
338
00:16:30,606 --> 00:16:33,473
I gave you the best
48 hours of my life.
339
00:16:33,540 --> 00:16:35,540
Well, how would you
like wakin' up
340
00:16:35,606 --> 00:16:36,873
in the dumpster tomorrow?
341
00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:39,540
[cackles] To the
dumpster with ya.
342
00:16:39,606 --> 00:16:42,773
She wonders why we won't
let her get a puppy.
343
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,373
Well, no sign of Kyle upstairs.
344
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,073
You think he could
be in my apartment?
345
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,073
Only if he's torching it.
346
00:16:51,806 --> 00:16:54,240
Someone should go
and look for Kyle.
347
00:16:57,673 --> 00:16:59,806
Me again.
348
00:16:59,873 --> 00:17:02,846
Does my responsibility
for this man ever end?
349
00:17:16,246 --> 00:17:18,013
Do you have four
quarters for a dollar?
350
00:17:18,946 --> 00:17:20,480
What's the point, man?
351
00:17:20,546 --> 00:17:22,546
My life is just like those
clothes spinnin' away
352
00:17:22,613 --> 00:17:26,046
in that dryer, goin'
round and round..
353
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:29,980
Until they're all dried
out and their time is up.
354
00:17:30,046 --> 00:17:31,646
Thirtieth birthday, huh?
355
00:17:33,346 --> 00:17:34,780
How'd you know?
356
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:37,146
The "Kiss me, I'm 30"
hat kinda gave it away.
357
00:17:40,646 --> 00:17:43,180
Yeah, it was tough on me too.
358
00:17:44,546 --> 00:17:45,680
Yeah, but with a little time
359
00:17:45,746 --> 00:17:47,186
you were able to get
some perspective
360
00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:49,646
and realize that getting
older wasn't so bad, right?
361
00:17:49,713 --> 00:17:52,146
Not at all.
362
00:17:52,213 --> 00:17:54,280
'Thirty is the turning point.'
363
00:17:54,346 --> 00:17:57,646
After that, it's just the
loss of one bodily function
364
00:17:57,713 --> 00:17:58,780
after another..
365
00:18:00,186 --> 00:18:04,120
As you make your slow
march toward death.
366
00:18:04,186 --> 00:18:06,153
Yup, agein' is a bitch.
367
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,553
First, my eyesight went.
368
00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:10,520
Then, my hearing, and..
369
00:18:10,586 --> 00:18:13,620
Don't get me started
on my prostate.
370
00:18:13,686 --> 00:18:16,820
Hey, it's as big
as a grapefruit.
371
00:18:16,886 --> 00:18:17,953
I'll tell you.
372
00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:19,580
‐ Liquids'll go in‐‐
‐ Yea‐yea‐yea‐yeah.
373
00:18:19,647 --> 00:18:20,990
‐ But they don't come out right.
‐ Yea‐yea‐yea‐hey‐hey‐hey!
374
00:18:21,014 --> 00:18:21,920
Hey‐hey, hey!
375
00:18:21,986 --> 00:18:23,466
You know, it's‐it's
really nice of you
376
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,053
to do your, your
wife's fine washables.
377
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:30,953
Oh, actually.. Wife
passed in '81, so..
378
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:32,953
‐ Oh. ‐ These are mine.
379
00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:36,020
See, the one benefit
of getting old
380
00:18:36,086 --> 00:18:38,986
is that you get to do
whatever you wanna do.
381
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,020
There you are!
382
00:18:44,086 --> 00:18:46,686
Hey, what gives..
383
00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:50,120
[grunting] I didn't
think I'd find you.
384
00:18:50,186 --> 00:18:52,553
Yeah, I was kinda
hoping you wouldn't.
385
00:18:55,353 --> 00:18:56,853
So, how's your back?
386
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,393
It still hurts a little,
but I'm more embarrassed
387
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,160
than anything else.
388
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,093
Alright, um, listen, um..
389
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,693
I have a feeling that
mocking you won't work
390
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,360
so, I have absolutely
no idea what to say.
391
00:19:16,826 --> 00:19:18,026
But...
392
00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:21,426
I really want to be with
you on your birthday.
393
00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:27,626
Thanks, Max.
394
00:19:27,693 --> 00:19:29,626
Now, what the hell
is wrong with you?
395
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,593
I don't‐I don't know, I..
396
00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:37,060
I guess I just thought I'd be
in a different place by now.
397
00:19:37,126 --> 00:19:39,060
So, you brought your
ass to a laundromat?
398
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,760
No, my goal was to
be vice president
399
00:19:42,826 --> 00:19:45,326
of the brokerage firm
by the time I was 30.
400
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:48,826
I was vice president
of my ad agency at 28.
401
00:19:48,893 --> 00:19:51,326
I was up for partner
at 26, alright?
402
00:19:51,393 --> 00:19:53,260
‐ What's that. ‐ Oh,
sorry, I'm competitive.
403
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,060
Competitive. Competitive.
404
00:19:55,126 --> 00:19:57,593
Okay. I'm listening.
405
00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:59,933
I mean, you know, I've been
a wonder kid my whole life.
406
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,366
I mean, I was the youngest in
my class at business school.
407
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:05,433
I was the youngest broker to get
a multimillion‐dollar account.
408
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:09,000
Hell, I was doing my parent's
taxes by the time I was 14.
409
00:20:09,066 --> 00:20:11,266
Now, I'm just a
moderately successful..
410
00:20:12,533 --> 00:20:16,400
Impeccably dressed
middle‐aged man.
411
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,933
Well, what's wrong with that?
412
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,333
It's not Kyle Barker.
413
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,633
At least not the Kyle
Barker I wanna be.
414
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:28,166
I guess this'd be a good
time to give you your gift
415
00:20:28,190 --> 00:20:29,100
so, close your eyes.
416
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:31,700
‐ C.. Wh.. ‐ No, close
them, close them.
417
00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:33,500
Oh, goodness.
418
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,500
Okay, open 'em.
419
00:20:42,566 --> 00:20:44,166
[laughs]
420
00:20:46,933 --> 00:20:48,900
Alright, so, maybe you
haven't reached every goal
421
00:20:48,966 --> 00:20:51,233
that you set for yourself by 30.
I'm sorry about that.
422
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,700
But, as for your personal life
423
00:20:54,766 --> 00:20:57,200
you know you couldn't be doin' better.
You know?
424
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,706
I mean, if you were
the immature guy
425
00:21:01,773 --> 00:21:03,640
the Kyle Barker that I first met
426
00:21:03,706 --> 00:21:06,240
who couldn't handle dating
a woman with her own mind
427
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:08,040
you wouldn't be with me.
428
00:21:08,106 --> 00:21:10,073
So, ta‐da!
429
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:11,773
Happy birthday.
430
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,840
Cheer the hell up.
431
00:21:15,106 --> 00:21:16,873
Come here.
432
00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:19,106
That was so sweet.
433
00:21:24,773 --> 00:21:27,106
And so cheap. Woo!
That was cheap.
434
00:21:28,606 --> 00:21:32,206
‐ Sweet and cheap, huh?
‐ Yeah. Look at you.
435
00:21:32,273 --> 00:21:33,953
Well, I guess there is
something to be said
436
00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:35,340
about this gettin'
old thing, huh?
437
00:21:35,364 --> 00:21:37,517
‐ Yeah. ‐ Oh, that's right!
438
00:21:41,740 --> 00:21:43,673
Just promise me that when
you get to be his age
439
00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:45,873
that you won't go
out in that outfit.
440
00:21:45,940 --> 00:21:49,006
Without a good set of
pearls and some pumps.
441
00:21:49,073 --> 00:21:50,553
(female narrator)
We'll be right back.
442
00:21:53,473 --> 00:21:54,640
[grunting]
443
00:21:54,706 --> 00:21:56,273
[cackling]
444
00:21:56,340 --> 00:21:58,006
More jars!
445
00:21:58,073 --> 00:22:01,046
Someone bring me more jars.
446
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,280
Kyle, there are no more
jars in this city.
447
00:22:06,346 --> 00:22:07,280
What?
448
00:22:07,346 --> 00:22:09,946
But my aunt Pandora
sent over this box.
449
00:22:10,013 --> 00:22:12,946
Can you open it with
your mighty grip?
450
00:22:13,013 --> 00:22:15,080
She says there's
hope at the bottom.
451
00:22:15,146 --> 00:22:17,080
Stand back, Overton.
452
00:22:20,222 --> 00:22:21,502
Ain't nothin' in
the bottom there
453
00:22:21,526 --> 00:22:23,413
but a little woman
on a windmill.
454
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,080
(female ♫1) Woo‐hoo!
33661
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