Original subtitles

[knock on door]

Hey, hey. Regine, do you have those books I asked you for?

‐ Yeah, they're right here. ‐ Oh, cool.

Kyle, you're reading.

What sort of mischief has Curious George gotten into now?

For your information, Magpie..

I have a date with one of my investors.

The princess of Saun‐Hwi. Oh‐ho.

And I'm reading up on all the protocol

for dating a woman of class..

Because Lord knows I've made some mistakes.

Well, don't think of it as a mistake.

Think of it the way I do. I don't!

Regine, these books are not on royalty.

(Regine) 'Yes, they are.'

You got Queeny, the Prince of tides and the Fisher King.

You know, Kyle, I was thinking

an interview with an African princess

will make a great featureful flavor.

Maybe I can interview before you go on your date.

Uh, sorry, that won't be possible.

Ashamed to introduce her to your common friends?

Well, there is that.

And the fact that I don't know where she's staying.

For security reasons her motorcade will be picking me up.

Kyle, you know here in America

when we don't wanna be bothered with a guy

we gives him the wrong number.

♪ We are living ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda of world I'm glad I've got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪

♪ What ♪ ♪ Keep your head up ♪

♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whatever this life gets up you got fight with ♪

♪ My homegirls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue and tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ahh‐hh ♪

I don't know where it went.

Quick, Khadijah, help us find the remote control

it's premier night for the seventh network

and we need to tape it.

Well, why don't you just press record on the VCR?

Oh, yeah and then we could start churning our own butter too.

Now, is there anything else I can do for you?

Yes, make us some popcorn. Chop chop.

[knocking on the door]

Come on, Shorty, you gotta go down there

with me tomorrow night.

Overton, man, this is the biggest date of my life.

Now, tell me, would you rather have a date with a princess

or hang out with your buddy at a sweaty pool hall?

I'd go to the sweaty pool hall but..

That's just me.

Okay, who's done what to whom?

Overton just got hustled out of $200 down at Tug's pool hall.

‐ I didn't get hustled. ‐ Yes, you did.

This couple just pretended they weren't good

until the stakes got really high

and then they became much better players.

Overton, I hate to say it, but you should have known better

than to play strangers for money.

And in the future if you hate to say something..

Feel free to just keep it to yourself.

Maybe you should have kept little money to yourself.

Any way, where is my little pumpkin pie?

I need her joker like smile.

[all laughing]

I need that to heal my wounds.

She's staying late at drama class.

Takes a little extra time to get out of character.

Well, truth be told.

I won't find any confidence till I go back down

and beat those two at their own game.

Uh‐huh. You know, Obi, if it's two hustlers

you're gonna need a partner.

Yep.

That would be nice but old King Turd over there

has official business.

I could go with you.

I was pretty handy with a pool cue back in the day.

Mmm‐hmm. That's how she paid for all my groceries in college.

Hmm, hell, this should be easy. I only need $200.

Guess your flim‐flam friends aren't gonna show.

Might have to just chalk this one out to experience.

Shame on you, Khadijah.

Whole path wings we mortals dare not touch.

You're right. What was I thinking?

Overton, we might have to just run this game another night.

Psst! Turtle doves in a pear tree.

‐ What? ‐ It's them right over there.

Oh, well then, places.

Hey, Overton, wasn't last night somethin'?

Marlo and I still can't believe how lucky we got.

Yeah, well, uh, I rather not talk about that right now.

I just brought my girlfriend Khadijah down here

to teach how to play pool.

Isn't that right, honey?

‐ I don't like this part. ‐ Shh, baby sister.

New to the game, huh?

Well, you know, we might be able to show you a few things.

Yeah, Overton, what do you say we just play a friendly game?

It'll be a good way for your girl to learn.

Well, uh, okay, but no wagering.

Oh, betting? This sounds like fun.

Oh, it's a blast. You'll love it.

Oh, sweetie, could we?

Well, alright.

Well, how much would you like to bet, Khadijah?

A dollar or maybe two?

Well, all I have is this wad of twenties. Is that okay?

So, uh, Your Highness‐‐.

Oh, please, call me Hellura.

Are you sure?

I command you.

Okay. Um, well, this‐this is cozy.

Just me, you and..

Your bodyguards too.

Let's just pretend he's not here.

It might be easier if he didn't have

that oozy shape lump under his jacket.

Shall I taste your soup

for you to make sure it isn't poisoned?

Oh, no, no. Special agent Nators

already done that in the kitchen.

Whoa‐Whoa‐Whoa! So, how do we know that my soup is okay?

Well, why would anyone want to poison your soup, Kyle?

They might've thought that it was yours.

I‐I mean not to say that your soup should be poisoned

but they might have..

You know, um..

I'm really not all that hungry after all.

Your Highness, uh, the Prince in exile from Waimi.

He's on a phone for you.

He's not in exile.

I think that's what he wants to talk to you about.

Would you excuse me, please?

She's moving.

Man!

This is nerve wrackin'.

I suppose most men are jittery around the princess?

Oh, actually, Her Highness usually dates

uh, royalty and diplomats.

They're a lot calmer than you.

I just‐I just need to relax. That's all. That's all.

When she comes back, you're gonna see

an entirely different person.

Prepare yourself for the Barker magic.

Why don't you just, uh, suggest that the soup

maybe poisoned again.

She doesn't get enough of that.

Thank you.

Don't tell me you smelled the cheese and crackers

from across the street.

No. Actually I saw them from my window.

Well, did you see the limo that picked Kyle up

for his date with the princess?

I don't care about Kyle. Was it a stretch limo?

Hmm, were flags on the hood.

But you should have seen the female attendants

that dressed the brother in silks

and carried him out on their shoulders.

Princess, my ass.

She probably can't even get anybody executed.

Oh, no, she's the real thing.

In fact, she and Kyle are mentioned

in the society section of the paper.

Get out of here.

[laughing]

Oh, get a life and some fresh crackers.

Hey, I'm not the pathetic peeping Tom

who was watching my grapes from across the street.

'Cause there's nothing to do around here.

Everybody's out playing pool or dating royalty but me.

I'm going to Jersey to get me a tattoo.

What?

I'm going to Jersey to get a leopard on my leg

or a panther on my back or tiger on my... whatever it is.

It won't wash off.

‐ You're serious. ‐ Yes.

Well, you know, I've never seen anybody get a tattoo before.

Can I come?

Well, I don't know, little Ray‐Ray.

It's kind of bloody.

I don't know if you can handle it.

Well, please. Seeing someone torture you

with a needle will be a treat.

Well, then this is your lucky night.

Maybe I'll get something pierced.

Like your e‐ears.

Lower.

Let's go!

[people applauding and cheering]

Alright, Khadijah. You've got all the stripy ones in.

Way to pool.

Hold up now. You see, this is the eight ball.

You're gonna have to pick out which pockets

you wanted it to go into..

Sugar plum.

Okay, sugar eyes.

Gosh, this is harder than choosing a movie.

That one!

[people cheering and applauding]

You mean that's it?

‐ You mean we win? ‐ That's right.

Oh, this is the best streak of beginners luck I've ever had.

Yeah.

Yeah, you really took to the game.

Mmm‐hmm. I got to give you your props.

Yeah. Well, uh, we don't need your props.

The 200 would do just nicely. Bye‐bye.

Come on, Overton, I am on a streak, man.

Wh‐What do you say we go bet on some ponies?

Hey, people, what'd you say you test your luck again?

Double or nothin'.

Double or nothin', huh?

Four hundred dollars, that's a lotta money.

Alright, girl, you're on.

Hey, come on, Khadijah, you won my money back, let's split.

But I'm hot, I tell you, I'm hot.

Obie, she has that look in her eye

it's the same look she had in Atlantic City

when she lost everything.

She almost sold Max's car, with Max still in it.

That's it, I'm getting you out of here.

Look, Phil, Marlo, it's been fun, gotta go.

Wow, just when I was gonna suggest we play for $500..

Five hundred dollars. That's a lotta money.

Rack 'em!

Khadijah, Khadijah no, that's Flavor's petty cash.

No, it's not..

It's the rent money.

Now, rack 'em!

Hey, escort, could you just move over

so I can get just the princess here, please?

Picture this, my friend, you're leavin'.

Excuse me, may I have your autographs?

Most certainly.

Who are you?

Well, I'm the Princess, Hellura.

Great, and you?

Kyle Barker, funds manager.

Thank you.

You can keep that.

Alright, my little pen pal, you're leaving.

‐ Okay, alone at last. ‐ Yes.

Your Highness, Brian Plow, National Sun, one question..

Lesbian, yes or no?

I'll take that as a yes.

Yeah!

As fast as you caught on to the game

I still think I should explain this part.

You see, as soon as I get this eight ball

into this corner pocket.

You lose $500.

Understand?

Just shoot.

That's alright, honey, you set me up.

You want daddy to bring it home, don't you?

Alright, now just uh take your time now, tiger lily.

All you gotta do now

is sink these five balls in a row, without missing.

Oh!

Oh!

You okay, Khadijah?

Ow! I think I sprained my wrist.

Hey, what's with spillin' the soda on the floor?

Don't even try it. I was sippin' through a straw.

Well, how'd you like to take your meals that way?

Whoa! Just a minute.

As much as I'd love a good cat fight

you need to take your shot or forfeit the game.

Oh, well, how am I supposed to play like this?

Oh, not very well.

I'll tell you what, lemme just take the shot for you.

Oh, no‐no‐no‐no‐no. This is mixed doubles..

Boy‐girl, boy‐girl.

I can call a woman, I can call my friend Maxine.

Yeah, Maxine lives right around the corner

‐ I'll go call her. ‐ No‐no‐no‐no‐no‐no.

You don't really think..

We gonna let you call in your ringer?

Now you want another woman, I'll pick one... her.

Huh?

Why would a woman who thinks of a one night stand

as a long term commitment do something

this permanent to herself?

It's creative expression. Lets the world know who I am.

Exactly how much of the world do you expect to see this tattoo?

That's it, right there.

That panther.

It's sleek, it's black, it's poised, ready to attack.

Why don't you get a heart, huh?

Or, or a rose, you know..

Something a little more feminine.

You're right, Regine.

How about a big old uterus, right here on my shoulder?

Is that feminine enough for you?

Okay, I'm ready for you.

‐ Oh ho! ‐ Good luck, Max.

Whoo! Chill out!

It's a tattoo, not a C‐section.

[laughing]

[groans]

You know it's too bad they didn't have the lamb kebabs

they're really quite good.

The lamb is a sacred animal in my country.

I've had one as a pet ever since I was three.

Oh.

Um, yeah, would you excuse me for a moment, please?

Hey, hey, hey, where are you going?

To the restroom, if that's okay?

He's moving.

Marvin, take Mr. Barker here to the restroom.

Oh, come on, I really don't think that'll be necessary.

I'm afraid it is.

We have to have total surveillance

while you are with the princess.

Perhaps we should get our check and call this an evening.

Something's wrong?

Well, yes.

I mean, this evening has been a disaster.

When I'm not being frisked or photographed

I'm saying something stupid.

And I'm sorry, but I've been going to the bathroom

all my life and I have yet to take a buddy.

Do you think I like being surrounded by bodyguards

24 hours a day?

Sleeping in a drafty palace

fleeing the country every time there is a coup.

I suppose not.

I wanna do things regular people do.

Go to the malt shop, cruise the strip

or have a burger at Arnold's.

[laughing]

Wait, wait, wait, let me guess..

They show Happy Days in your country.

And Grease too..

[laughing]

But that's not enough.

It's really too bad this didn't work out, Kyle.

I was really starting to like you.

‐ You were? ‐ Yes.

You see, all I ever meet a dignitary

is who are so afraid of being assassinated

that they never want to get close to anyone.

Kyle, would you like it, if I got rid of everyone

and it were just you and I for the rest of the evening?

I'd love that.

I can't do it.

But isn't it wonderful, just thinking about it?

'Come on, Kyle.'

Stay, and we'll rock around the clock.

[arguing indistinctly]

No, no, wait! No, no.

I pick Mary Tyler Poppins and that's who were going with.

Hey, now, hey, hey!

Come on, Khadijah, I can't do any worse

than you with a bum wrist.

Sinclair, you almost put your eyes out when we played Jacks.

Enough stalling.

Now you got two choices, we take the money now

or she can take your turn and we'll take the money then.

Okay, Sinclair.

Give it your best shot.

They're all just so pretty, I don't know which one to hit.

[laughing]

Whoa!

[applauding]

‐ That's right, that's right. ‐ Right!

[cheering]

[applauding]

[cheering]

[laughing]

Well done, missy.

Excuse me, you might wanna back it up, honey.

‐ Yeah! ‐ Yes, baby.

Uh, eighth ball... corner pocket.

That's it? No trick shot?

Well, I wasn't gonna showboat but since you ask.

[cheering]

Yes!

Yeah, cool cash, keeps the swelling down.

I guess this teaches you that deceit and duplicity don't pay.

Although, in this case, they did pay for us.

[laughing]

Whoo!

Oh yeah, and by the way.

She's not really my sister.

[laughing]

You know, even though we got off to a rocky start

I really had a great time this evening.

I hope we can get together again soon. Goodnight.

I'll pass your thoughts on to the princess.

She really enjoyed herself, I know I did.

Steve, one question..

Now, suppose I would have tried to put a move on the princess‐‐

I'd have broken your back in three places.

S, I made the right choice?

‐ Hoo hoo. ‐ Whoo.

'Woo‐hoo!'