Original subtitles

[in unison] I de... clare war!

Ah, got you!

How was the Mardi Gras Parade?

Ooh, honey, it was fabulous!

This six‐foot drag queen, he showed me how to use

my Chanel scarf as a weapon.

‐ Wha! ‐ Ooh!

Darryl, where's your mask?

Oh, well, uh, the‐the drag queen flicked it

off my face with his‐her scarf.

Look, I got an early morning tomorrow.

‐ I gotta be goin'. ‐ Okay.

Oh, just pretend like we're not here.

I've been trying for two years.

‐ See y'all later. ‐ Bye.

Regine, I'm amazed. I never thought I would see you go out

with a guy that real for that long.

I never thought you'd go out with a guy that..

Don't!

Warm. I was going to say warm.

Or was that wide?

[laughing]

♪ We are living single ♪

♪ Ooh in a 90s kinda world I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up What ♪

♪ Keep your head up That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough You gotta fight with ♪

♪ My homegirl standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue And tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living Check, check, check it out ♪

♪ Single Check, check, check it out ♪

Man, the parade was just great.

Darryl let me ride on the top of his APS truck

doing my Miss America wave.

That's almost as exciting as when he gave you

that roll of bubble wrap.

Oh, you're just jealous because Regine is out having fun

and you're at home shedding your skin.

[laughing]

Sounds like you and Darryl are really gettin' along.

Yeah, and who knows where it could lead.

Tomorrow, he's having me over to meet his friends.

Oh‐h, meetin' the crew.

Mm‐hm. And I do not have a thing to wear.

And I wanna make a good impression.

Then stay home.

Just saying don't start trippin' over what you're gonna wear.

Oh, that's easy for you to say.

All your formal wear comes out of the Jaclyn Smith Collection.

Ah ha ha ha!

Ahh ha ha ha!

Hey, y'all remember that pizza restaurant..

That was right next to the rib joint

that was right next to the Cuban‐Chinese place?

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, they done tore 'em all down.

Made it a bowlin' alley called Bowl Diddley's.

Oh‐h, you know, I say we go bowl.

I'm really quite good.

I've heard that lie before.

What do you say we make a little wager, huh?

The loser has to compliment the winner upon command

for an entire week.

Poor Kyle, that's the only way he can get people

to say nice things about him.

And yet, it shall fail. You are on!

What about you, honey?

Yes, let's go bowling. I love it.

Reminds me of your head.

[all laughing]

What about you, Khadijah? Ha ha.

No, I'm gonna just stay at home.

Come on, ever since you and Scooter

agreed to see other people, you've been a hermit.

‐ So what are you sayin'? ‐ You're a bore.

You need to get out and mingle. Have some fun.

So lemme get this right.

Instead of sittin' at home in front of the TV

I'll be standin' over a hand blower at a bowlin' alley.

How is that mingling?

Other people will see you doin' it.

Thanks for comin' up with me, Khadija.

I'm kinda nervous.

Yeah, you should be.

Bringin' a man a basket of hand towels..

What message are we sending here, Regine?

Bachelors don't buy hand towels.

So if another woman comes over and she sees them, she'll know.

Well, a hickey does the same thing.

Plus, it's more fun.

‐ Hey‐y, how y'all doin'? ‐ Hey.

‐ Welcome, welcome. Hi. ‐ Thank you.

Regine, this is a new kind of cute for you.

Yeah, well, you said I was meetin' the posse.

This is posse wear.

And this is for you.

Oh, right, cool. Hand towels and loofah.

Yes, and I was fresh out, yeah.

Khadija, why don't you join me for dinner?

I just wanted to see your reaction to the hand towels.

Atleast, come in and meet my friends. Come on!

You're gonna love them.

Finally.

Regine, this is Tanya and Joe.

Tanya and Joe, this is my Regine

and her friend Khadija.

And we're all gonna get along just fine.

Here, have a seat, have a seat.

Why do you have me wearin' these pumps

when she's got on jeans?

Chill out.

You, you look familiar.

‐ Are you from East Orange? ‐ I was.

Ha ha, I knew I recognized you.

You're Nay‐Nay!

You used to date June Bug, with his big old forehead.

[laughing]

Yes, well, it's no‐no to Nay‐Nay now.

I've settled on Regine.

Uh‐huh. So how's June Bug?

[chuckling]

Wouldn't know.

We lost touch after he got left back in the eighth grade

the second time.

So, Darryl tells me you write poems. I'd love to hear one.

Ah, okay.

Ah, ahem.

What do words mean?

What do mean words mean?

What do I mean by these words?

Don't listen to the words.

Listen to the spaces between the words.

The spaces, the spaces, the spaces, the spaces..

Like that one.

Word.

Bad poet.

I'm also writing a country western song.

Khadija, maybe you could use some of Joe's stuff in "Flavor."

Well, what you do isn't as much poetry as performance art

which really wouldn't work in a magazine.

[in unison] Oh.

Hey, I could turn it into a poem.

Please don't.

Look, I gotta go.

(Regine) Uh, no, Khadija, stay.

Stay..

Aw, you'll be fine.

Just relax, and‐and be yourself, Nay‐Nay. Oh, yes.

Alright, y'all, I'm gonna be out of here. Take it easy.

‐ Alright. ‐ Take care of my Nay‐Nay now.

So... what you think?

I've never been in a room where every chair is a recliner.

That ain't all. Check this out.

Ta‐da.

Alright, now, remember, the loser has to compliment

the winner for an entire week.

Are you sure you can handle being a loser

in bowling and in life?

[Kyle chuckling]

Obie, you knocked them all down. You win! You win!

I appreciate your enthusiasm, sweet thing

but I'm slightly embarrassed by your ignorance of the game.

Hey, okay, good, Khadija.

Hey, go get yourself a pair of shoes, and let's go.

You know, Max, I've really realized

I got a lot of work to do. I'm gonna just go head home.

Well, maybe I could bowl one game.

‐ Yes, one game. ‐ I'm gonna go get some shoes.

Alright. Mama needs a new pair of bowlin' shoes.

Ha ha. Ye‐es!

Hah! Woo!

Girl, that was a gutter ball.

Yes, but it rolled halfway down the lane

before it actually went into the gutter.

This might be my lucky night, man!

Let a skilled bowler show you how it's done.

No, you go first, Kyle.

Concentrate, Kyle!

[exhales]

[bowling pins knocking]

Uh.

Five out of ten.

Aren't those the odds of a woman throwing up

when she sees you naked?

[bowling pins knocking]

[clapping]

Pressure's on now, though.

I mean, how do I follow up a strike?

Yeah, that there's one way.

So, they changed the name of the movie to "Ready to Wear"

because they didn't feel Americans would understand.

Pret a Porter.

We don't.

Can you pass me some more Smurfberry Kool‐Aid?

So, Darryl tells me you're a sales clerk at a boutique.

Oh, no. Ha ha ha. Let me explain.

See, a sales clerk is a low‐level employee

who sells things one at a time for commission.

No, see, I buy clothes for the whole store.

‐ Oh. ‐ And what do you do?

I'm a sales clerk at Loehmann's.

Mmm! Aah! Ooh!

Who knew something blue could taste so good?

You know, my man Darryl's got big plans for his career.

Really? You never told me about your plans.

Well, you see, if I stay with APS for 15 more years..

My pension gonna kick in.

Then I'll be cruisin' on easy street in a brand‐new Winnebago.

Deluxe!

Yeah.

Built for two... me and my lady.

Travellin' across this beautiful land of ours

fly fishing from one stream to the next.

Yeah, well, I‐I have a similar dream

except that it involves letting someone else do

the fly fishing for me and putting it on a plate

in front of me, in a sauce, in France.

I could've served tartar sauce with the fish sticks

if that's what you're saying.

No. No, they were good.

‐ Tanya, they were wer‐‐ ‐ Mm‐hmm.

Joe!

Hoo.

Uh... I'm gonna go on home.

This blue stuff is giving me a headache.

Uh, I know what it is. It's Tanya and Joe, right?

They can be a little rude sometimes. No, no.

Hey, guys, listen.

Regine is not feelin' the friendship.

‐ Really? ‐ Sit down. Come on, sit down.

Now, look, there's no reason the three of you

can't love each other the way I love y'all.

Now we gonna sit here and we're gonna love.

Go.

It was nice meeting y'all.

‐ Yeah, come again, see ya. ‐ Yeah, we gotta do this again.

Can I at least get you a cab?

‐ Yeah, sure. ‐ I'll grab my coat.

Meet you in the hall.

Overton, at this rate, you're gonna bowl a perfect game.

I know that. What'd you think, I don't know that?

I can read the scorecard.

What'd you think, I can't read the damn scorecard?

You finished, bro?

Oh, I'm sorry, man, pressure's made me a little bit snippy.

Curse this macho athletic ability.

[bowling pins knocking]

Hey. Hell, I feel a career change buzzin' at me.

Okay, Max, let me know when cutie pie's lookin' at me.

Okay.

(Max) 'Wait!'

'Okay, now.'

Alright, Khadijah!

You're lookin' good, Khadijah!

Why don't you just give the man my phone number?

You think I've been writing your score on that board?

[bowling pins knocking]

Alright, Max, what's my score?

One.

It's my best game ever. I'm not even done yet.

‐ Hey, Khadijah. ‐ What are you doing here?

Girl, I need to talk.

I believe this is yours.

Sorry.

Don't be, you bowled me a spare.

So I hear you're Khadijah. I'm Roger.

I've been watching you.

‐ Good form. ‐ Good eye.

Good God!

Khadijah, now, I need to talk to you.

Well, I need some mack.

And I think that's something we both know I need more.

[bowling pins knocking]

They don't leap that high in the Dance Theater of Harlem.

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, Synclaire, I guess I'm just gonna tell you my problem‐‐.

Shh! Obie's about to bowl. If he gets one more strike

he'll have a perfect game.

Did you just shush me?

(all) Shh!

You know, if‐if I make this shot..

I will have climbed the highest mountain.

I will have reached the most unreachable star.

And this place will give me free cheese sticks

for the rest of my life.

Alright.

I can't take it anymore! Someone listen to me!

Maybe it could wait.

Obie, again, I am so sorry.

Ah, that's alright.

I'm sure there'll be another time in my life

when I bowl a perfect game.

Yeah, that'll happen!

You're still perfect in my heart.

Yeah, but can you give me a free lifetime supply

of cheese sticks? I think not.

Oh, come on, it's still nice to see a woman tryin'

to make her man feel better.

Words of wisdom from a handsome, handsome man.

Thank you.

You're welcome... good‐looking.

[Kyle laughing]

Well, now everybody's listenin'. What the hell is it?

My evening was a total disaster.

(Overton) 'Your evening?'

I guess this is the part of the show

where we supposed to muster up a little sympathy for Regine.

Well, that ain't gonna happen.

Yeah, feel better.

Yeah, well, I guess I need to get on up out of here, too.

You know, go upstairs and trim my nose hairs.

And what lovely nose hairs they are.

Ha ha ha, yeah.

Hoo‐hoo!

And enough of them to make a wig for Regine, yes.

So, did you and Darryl have a fight?

Worse. I found out the man wants to spend the rest of his life

in a Winnebago gutting fish.

Well, I ain't the one.

I could've told you from the beginning

that it was not a match.

Ah, shut up.

You say that about every man I date.

'Cause it's true.

Look, it's not gonna be easy for you to find the one.

You're a snob from the projects.

That's rare.

I believe that one day

you'll find your Jean‐Claude Washington.

[laughing]

So, for real, whatcha gonna do about Darryl?

I don't know, I‐I‐I can't string him along

when it's obvious we don't have a future together.

Woop! Sounds like a break‐up. Can I watch?

I just want him to find that fly‐fishing woman

that he deserves.

[telephone ringing]

Maybe that's him now.

Hello.

Oh, come on, Kyle, this isn't fair!

You have a beautiful phone voice and exquisite toes.

[knock on door]

‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.

I'm glad you could come over.

Have a seat.

It doesn't recline but you can lean back.

Oh, he he he.

Regine‐‐

Darryl, before you say anything, let me.

I don't think things are gonna work out between us.

‐ Regine‐‐ ‐ No, no, let me explain.

It's not that you're not a nice guy.

You're one of the nicest guys I've ever met

that's why this is so hard for me.

But Regine, it's okay.

That is sweet of you to be so strong.

But you don't have to pretend in front of me.

Unleash your feminine side.

Oh, no, I'm cool.

You see, I was thinking the same thing on the way here.

I was just hoping that we can still be friends.

Oh, no, no. No, you didn't, uh..

See, no, you don't say, "let's just be friends".

‐ I say that. ‐ Okay, then say it.

No, no. No, see, you can't tell me when to say it

I just say it.

Right, okay. Let‐let's talk about something else

then whenever you feel like it

you can jump right in with the friends thing.

Fine.

Mm‐hm.

‐ Darryl? ‐ Mm‐hm?

Let's just be friends.

Oh, damn, man!

Regine, this is so sudden.

It happens.

Well, I guess I better get going.

‐ Okay. ‐ I'll see ya.

Well, hey, it was fun hangin' out.

Well, we're friends, right? And friends hang out.

‐ So I'll call you. ‐ Alright.

‐ Okay, take care. ‐ You, too.

‐ So? How did he take it? ‐ Oh, not well, mm.

Well, you did what you felt was right.

You can't have any regrets about that.

No, I don't.

Except, now, I'm alone again.

But I have my friends. I mean, I got you, right?

That's right, girl, you know I'm there for you.

We're like sisters.

[knock on door]

Hi. Ready to go?

Later, Regine.

[screaming]

[instrumental music]