Original subtitles

That was the last box.

Goodwill will be here in about an hour.

I gotta say, givin' away all those clothes

was pretty generous of you.

I figured "Hey, why shouldn't the less fortunate"

be as chic as I was two years ago.

You're just too good for this world.

Well, any world actually.

Hey, people.

‐ That coat! ‐ Isn't it sharp?

I found it in a box on the stoop.

No, Max. This is my coat. I'm givin' it to charity.

Well, charity begins at home.

And since I'm in your home, thank you.

No, you can't have it.

Yeah? Well, said coat was found outside in an unmarked box.

Proving that possession was abandoned by its previous owner

or in layman terms, finders keepers, losers weepers.

I want my coat back.

You don't have the right accessories to go with it.

Oh! Since I found me a $20 in this pocket, I can be me some.

Ah‐ah! That‐that's mine. Max, that's mine.

[theme song]

♪ We are living single ♪

♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my gurls ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ What ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Wheneva this life get tough ♪ ♪ You gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home gurl standin' to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue we tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living single ♪

Thank you, ladies, for a wonderful meal.

Hey, Cookie Nose, I was especially bowled over

by your delicious white instant rice.

Thank you, Tastebud.

My secret is distilled water.

You know, I can't believe that you guys still use pet names

after a whole year dating.

It must stop.

Correction. It will be a whole year tomorrow.

So, how are you two gonna celebrate your anniversary?

Another night of chastity, hmm?

Go ahead, poke fun.

But, Obie, tells me he's got something special planned

for our anniversary.

Really, I don't wanna spoil the surprise.

Let's just say it involves going somewhere nice

and eating something good.

I don't get anniversaries.

You celebrate looking at the same creep everyday

for a whole year and then you have a party

so you can start looking at them all over again.

What is the freakin' point?

You see, that's the way we humans express emotion.

Ho!

So, Kyle, did you get Obie's hat size?

I have a fedora all picked out for him.

He's a seven and a half, and I almost got caught.

And I don't know how to explain myself to a bald man wakin' up

with a string tied around his head.

Hey, um.. Sorry to interrupt your tat‐tat about my present

but, Shorty, we gotta go plan our anniversary.

Not yours and mine, mine and Synclaire's.

(Regine) Hi, you guys.

We're gonna clear outta here too, so you can study.

‐ We're gonna be at Max's. ‐ Alright.

Max's apartment? Oh, oh! Let's bring a camera.

I want proof that this mythical place exists.

It's not like I never had you over.

Remember when you picked me up from the airport?

I let you carry my bags in.

Ta‐da!

Alright, Max.

You're not going to keep wearing that coat, are you?

Hell yeah.

Out of all the coats that were my before, this is my favorite.

It's a 100% pure virgin wool. Mmm, snuggly.

And don't even get me started on the silky satin lining.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Hey, Regine, don't you have a coat just like that?

Synclaire, why are you fluffing the pillows?

I want the place to look nice.

Jon Marc's the best student in my psychology class.

It's an honor to study with him.

Jon Marc? That's a sexy sounding name.

What does he look like?

He's attractive, if you like the model type.

You know, tall, buffed, three dimples, huh.

I've always been curious about psychology.

Maybe I should hangout for a while. Probe his mind.

You know, get a little intellectual stimulation.

Max, people are talking about you.

They're staring to call you a genius if you know what I mean.

[doorbell ringing]

Oh my!

How're you? I'm Jon Marc. Synclaire in?

Here I am. I look different at home.

That's funny. How you doin', Synclaire?

Yes, we'll be across the street if you need anything.

Call me. Here's my card.

My home number's on the back.

‐ Dang! You are really forward. ‐ Yeah.

[laughing] Well, you see, this is a new method.

Usually, she just clubs men and then drags 'em back to her cave.

Okay, now. Okay. Alright, let's go.

Hey, nice place.

Thank you. Can I get you something to drink?

Water, coffee, blueberry smoothie?

That's okay. We should probably just hit the books, huh?

So, what are you having most trouble with?

Chapters One to 22.

I really need help.

Hey, listen to me. It's my pleasure, okay?

I'm here for as long as it takes.

Um..

Alrighty! Uh..

My first question is why was that guy Pavlov so mean to dogs?

Uh, thank you.

And if everything goes perfectly at dinner tomorrow night

there'll be an extra buck in there for you.

No, I ain't kiddin'. I mean, I got a bank.

That was quite impressive, man.

You know, the Moreal is hottest restaurant in town?

Wait! How'd you get a reservation?

I just told them it was my anniversary

and I explained my Uncle Bill Cosby wouldn't be attending.

And I ordered their specialty.

Which we have to arrange one day in advance.

Wait, you mean the champagnon de ela sauce crevettes.

Oui.

I can't even wait to find out what the hell it is.

Oh, but wait. Pullin' out all the stops.

I reserved a limo for the entire evening.

Oh, that's some classy touch, man.

Yeah. A friend of mine who runs a funeral parlor..

And he said all he had to do is drop off an urn

on the way to the restaurant and we're rollin' in style.

Obie, you puling out all the stops, huh?

Well, Synclaire deserves it.

Besides, the one year mark in any relationship is critical.

'Course you wouldn't know that.

Well, you know, this is true.

My situation could be better characterised as a rut.

An endless stream of beautiful women one after the other..

After the other..

You know, but I digress. Um..

I assume you got Synclaire an appropriate gift.

Feast your eyes.

I had this charm bracelet made of all of her favorite things.

You got a little dog, a kitty cat, a smiley face

a little daisy.

A skull and crossbones?

Eh! She got a dark side.

Okay. It says here

that every dream reveals itself as a psychological structure.

What does that mean?

Huh?

Oh, Freud. Um..

Oh, I believe he meant that dreams contain hidden clues

‐ to your personality. ‐ Mmm.

I wonder what Freud would think of the dream I had last night.

I was an axe murderer.

And everywhere I went, I went hacking away at people.

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.

Does this mean I have a psychological problem?

‐ No. I think you are so great. ‐ Mm. Oh, but wait. But wait.

Then Khadijah pops up out of a toaster..

And chases me around in an amusement park with a wet fish.

You are so imaginative, Synclaire.

I bet you even dream in color too.

I do. I do. I do.

Except the dream I keep having about penguins in the snow.

But you know what?

Knowing Freud, I bet he'd turn that into something sexual.

You know, Freud understood that people are sexual beings.

Wow!

You really get this stuff. Let me get that down.

You know, I'm really glad we're taking this class together.

Mm‐hm.

I really like spending time with you.

Um.. What?

Oh my god! Um.. Um..

‐ What? What is it? ‐ Um, I have a boyfriend.

‐ Oh, hey! I didn't know. ‐ I know. You gotta go.

‐ Coat, bag, go! ‐ But, Synclaire..

‐ Please go. ‐ I'm sorry.

I know. Go. Please go.

No smoothie, nothing to drink. Go.

‐ Bye. Go! ‐ Synclaire..

Oh my god!

[door opening]

Oh, hey.

What're you guys doing home so early?

We sat down to watch a movie, but ol' Max had to eat

was a half a bottle of lemon juice..

And a head of lettuce that looked like lion.

And she stole that from us two months ago.

Thief.

By the by, did notice these beautiful buttons?

‐ Where's Jon Marc? ‐ He had to leave.

Helped me finish studying and he had to leave, therefore he left.

‐ Alright? ‐ Okay.

You don't believe me, do you?

Well, I'm telling it's the truth.

Finished studying, he left, he had to go.

Okay, he kissed me. Satisfied?

What the devil!

Oh, sucker‐sucker now.

‐ Hey! ‐ What?

I told him I had a boyfriend and asked him to leave.

Well, I would have done the same thing.

I'd have given him a sponge‐bath first.

But that's just me.

We were just sitting here discussing dreams and sex..

And then I didn't even know where he kissed me..

With some very soft lips.

I'm so ashamed.

Look, is something not right between you and Overton?

No, I love Overton.

He's everything a cheating infidel like me could ever want.

Please stop beating yourself up.

So you got a charge from another powerline.

Well, I know things will be right when I confess to Overton.

Why would you do that?

Because I feel guilty.

Guilt is a tricky emotion.

It's put there by your parents to stop you

from doing things that feel good.

Don't lecture me, Max. I'm taking a psychology class.

I feel guilty because I'm bad inside.

Synclaire, if you tell Overton, he will be devastated.

Especially this close to your anniversary.

When you're about to get a gift.

I'll say, keep your damn mouth shut.

Trust me.

Sometimes being honest hurts peoples feelings.

Like the time you had two free tickets to see Madonna

and told Regine you had one, so you could take Max?

They were really bad seats. They were way up.

And Madonna looked like an ant.

Tiny‐teeny little ant just touching herself.

The only thing that could have made that concert better

is if I was wearing this coat.

I don't wanna hurt Obie, so I'm gonna keep this to myself.

Amen.

Maybe I could talk to God about it.

But, then again, Obie talks to God.

But the big guy wouldn't spill the beans, would he?

[harp music]

That was excellent.

Now, here's a little something for the band.

Wow, Obie, this evening has been so romantic.

I don't deserve it.

Of course you do. We deserve each other.

'Cause we have the perfect love with a perfect couple

and this is the perfect night.

Would the Monsieur Jones and the lovely lady

care for anything else?

Oh, I couldn't be.

That rum cake has already given me quite a buzz. Thank you.

‐ Just the check, Ori. ‐ Oui, Monsieur Jones.

And per your request

I'll bring you those tiny mints, you favor?

Um.. Ooh‐la‐la.

I guess now would be a good time for me

to give you my anniversary guilt.

Gift. Anniversary gift.

I've been wondering all night what was in this big hat box.

Wow.

Eh, this hat is bad.

Kyle measured the string just right.

Aw, thanks, baby. You're the best.

No, I'm really not.

Synclaire, you are to me.

Now, it's your turn.

Look, I know there's no gift in the world that would equal

what you've already given me.

But please accept this as a symbol of my love.

Oh, Obie.

‐ Now, now.. ‐ I'm a slut.

What are you talking about?

And why are you talking so loudly?

I kissed another man.

When did this happen? When I went to the rest room?

No, last night.

I was studying with Jon Marc and he kissed me.

I didn't expect it. It just happened.

I'll kill him.

No. No, he didn't know I had a boyfriend.

It was totally innocent.

Did you kiss him back?

No.

You know, kissing is such a strange thing.

I guess..

So this whole beautifully planned evening

has been one big lie?

Overton, I've never lied to you before

and I never will again.

Well, let me drop a little bomb on you, girly.

Our limo is owned by a funeral parlor.

Our driver is the embalmer.

How you like me now?

Obie, wait.

Hey, kids, my coat and I are here.

Max, I have been looking through these old catalogues

and I cannot find that coat anywhere.

So, I am willing to give you $300 for it.

I paid 250 for it, two years ago.

Why don't you wait till some idiot throws it out

then you can have it for free.

Max, you don't need the coat.

You have all that body hair to keep you warm.

And it all stands on an end when I look at you.

I want my coat back, Maxine.

You left it outside. You left it outside.

Alright, hold that y'all.

Ya'll just need to chill the hell out.

Acting like a couple of eight‐year‐olds

and I can't have this.

‐ Max is my mommy now. ‐ Shut up..

Come on, Obie, just talk to me.

No, woman.

Damn, now I broke my silence.

Wait! Gossip!

Overton Wakefield Jones, you cannot ignore me forever.

I'm sorry, what was your name again?

The girls were right. I shouldn't have told you.

Yeah, they're real geniuses when it comes to relationships.

‐ 'Hey‐‐' ‐ 'Don't!'

Overton, I'm asking you

lets please discuss this like mature adults.

Nope, don't wanna.

Obie!

Oh, that was juicy.

I feel like a new woman.

Overton, please beleive me.

He was only here to help me get a passing grade.

And I suppose your lips were going for extra credit.

The whole thing only lasted five seconds.

Five seconds! You know how long that is in lip time?

Let's take a look, shall we?

And go.

Kissing, kissing, kissing..

Still kissing, kissing.

That's when you realized you had a devoted boyfriend, huh?

That's just mean.

Sorry, if I offended your delicate sensibility.

Ms. Drama Dance Synclaire.

But I'm the victim here.

What you did, that hurt, girl.

Overton, I'm so sorry.

Maybe my lips were touching his

but my heart is always with you.

Look, if I didn't really love you

I wouldn't have told you.

I mean, I wanna beleive that.

But things were really right between us

this never would have happened.

[sighs]

If there is something wrong, I say we sit here

review our relationship

and try to figure where the problem got started.

Okay.

Eighteen months ago

I saw a moving van roll up

saw you in the front seat

and said, "That must be Khadijah's cousin."

She's kinda cute."

And then I saw you and I said.

"Oh, the handy man lives in the building, how convenient."

Then that first ray of hope, your toaster broke.

It did, didn't it?

Got really quiet up there. Maybe we should check on 'em.

‐ Okay, I'm going in. ‐ I'm gonna cover you, girl.

Back up, vultures. It's my apartment, I'll go.

Okay, but the second you get up there

call us and let us know everything is cool.

Yes, signal us. Jump off the roof.

And when you pass the window flash the okay sign.

Yeah, Khadijah. Yeah, it's me.

No, no, they're fine. Everything is cool.

No, you can't talk to her right now.

Trust me, trust me.

She's busy.

You know, Obie

being with you is even more amazing than I ever dreamed.

And I dream in color.

Yeah, just wish it wasn't over so fast.

Yeah, I'm sorry I finished first.

I know that we didn't think that we were ready to go

to this stage in our realtionship.

But the way you ripped my clothes off, mama

I knew it was about that time.

I never realized how much passion I'd saved up for you.

Well, my Lothario old Uncle Timmy used to say.

"Passion is like money.

Time to save it up and a time to spend it all."

So, what you wanna do now?

Um, take off the hat, daddy.

This time I want you naked.

[instrumental music]

You finally got that damn coat back?

What'd you say to Max to get it?

I said his $400.

Hey, Regine, that money you gave me for that crummy coat

really came in handy.

I just booked myself on a single ski weekend in Wale.

And I'm going to wear this.

Where did you get this one?

Same box I got that coat.

Oh, I took a whole lotta stuff.

That's my sweater and I want it back.

Well, unless you have another $400

this sweater is going to Colorado.

Ski, ski, ski, woosh, woosh, woosh.