Original subtitles

Synclaire, did you proof these interview questions?

Went over them with a fine toothed comb.

Bobby Bonilla of the New York Mets

lose in Connecticut in a beautiful "reem ouse"?

Shouldn't it say dream house?

My keyboard is broken. I can't type any words

with the letters G, H or D.

If I have to type the word Gandhi, I'm in big trouble.

Boss Lady, we need to talk.

I'm out of personalized note pads.

Russell, the music editor. Go ahead copy this.

The machine is broken.

Take this screw driver and you stick it in the back, okay?

Just make sure you unplug it first.

This is tyranny, an outrage. And just plain cheap.

Okay, look, you people.

You really need to learn how to make things last around here.

I mean, these supplies ain't free.

New York Mets..

♪ We are living ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh in a '90s kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my gurls ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ What ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ Thats right ♪

♪ Wheneva this life get tough You gotta fight ♪

♪ Wit' mah home gurl standin' to mah left and mah right ♪

♪ True blue, we tight like glue ♪

♪ We are Living Single ♪

So, are you upset about the baseball strike?

Not really. All we wanna do is get this thing settled

and make the fans happy.

So your not angry about the owners proposed salary cap?

Those blood suckers!

Hey, Mr. Bonilla.

I'm Synclaire James from Minnesota.

I know I should be Twins fan but I like football.

So I root for the Vikings. My favourite team is Tampa Bay.

Although I don't like it.

Anyway, would you sign my baseball?

It's for my boyfriend Overton.

I'd be happy to.

‐ Great penmanship. ‐ Catholic school.

Anyway..

I mean you guys have been on strike since August.

What do you do with all your free time?

Well, I work out, spend time with my family.

‐ And I have a journal. ‐ Oh, that's intersting.

Shame, shame, shame, Khadijah.

Can't you hear my pocket screaming for justice?

I was forced to pay for our business lunch.

Russell, I'm busy right now.

Fine, push me aside for some overpaid cricket player.

Excuse him, Bobby.

This is Russell. Our music editor.

And it maybe his last day.

Go Mets!

So you were telling me about your journal.

What kinda' stuff do you write about?

About hanging out in right field

hitting home runs and making sure I'm not scratching

myself when the camera's on me.

Hey, have you ever thought about writing a sports column?

We could call it "Bobby's Journal."

"Bobby's Journal".

Khadijah, you've got yourself a sports writer.

Oh, you can start tomorrow.

Thank you.

Hi, Mr. Bonilla.

Could you sign another autograph for me?

This time it's for my granny James.

And would you sign it, "Love Hank Aaron."

He's her favourite player.

Okay, what's with the computer?

Your latest accessory?

I happen to be doing inventory for the botique.

It's just a coincidence that it matches my outfit.

Well, ladies. Fixed the thermostat in the freezer

and pryed this loose.

What is it? A cheese ball?

No, turkey gravy.

I'll take it.

This is good.

Hey, people.

Ughh!

Satan's first born.

Hi, dad.

Man, you'd never believe what happened.

You know Marvin the video clerk?

He just sold his first screenplay for $250,000.

That should supplement his hourly wage quite nicely.

Point is, man. He quit.

So I'm gonna write a screenplay.

I like Wall Street, but I'll take easy street if I can.

Kyle, I think that is a great idea.

I have always wanted to write a screenplay.

A romantic comedy like "The Body Guard".

That wasn't a comedy.

Every time I saw Kevin Costner's haircut, I laughed.

I was thinking more action adventure.

Oh, please!

Not another one of those movies where everything explodes

and a bimbo in a bikini breaks her heel running through woods.

Yeah, and you forget about the trusty black sidekick

who always gets killed during openeing credits.

And you know that's a damn conspiracy.

I say we make it an action adventure romantic comedy.

Two star crossed lovers travelling to South Dakota

and they're being chased by this android body builder

from the future bent on their destruction.

You really thought about this haven't you.

Uh‐huh.

I'm doing this myself.

Oh, come on, Kyle.

Now, who would you bounce ideas off of? Max?

Who thinks that Freddie Krueger

is the quintessential leading man?

Uh! Uh! Uh!

What I said was Freddie Kreuger is the essence of every man.

I don't know, Regine. Look, I usually work better alone.

Oh, well, we're not talking about your sex life.

‐ Alright, alright. ‐ Okay.

‐ Alright, I'll tell you what. ‐ Uh‐huh.

I'll do all the typing.

‐ Alright, welcome aboard. ‐ Okay.

Look, stop nagging me about that dang old keyboard.

Hey, guess who's gonna write a sports column for Flavour?

(all) Bobby Bonilla.

I had to tell somebody.

I got him to sign this for you today, snack cake.

Oh, thank you, lava lips.

I'll put it right next to my autographed.

Pet Boys torque wrench.

Having Bobby write a column for Flavour might be

just the thing to boost sales.

Yeah, maybe we'll see some improvement at Flavour.

Like a new copier, some staple removers, an aquarium.

Tropical fish make the best office pets.

They die so fast, you never get attached.

Stop spending my money before I even make it.

Don't be so cheap.

People are beginning to talk and not so far behind your back.

Look, I'm not cheap. I'm frugal.

Uh‐huh, miss frugal put coin boxes on the bathrooms.

It slows down the number of trips

and increases productivity.

Oh!

‐ Did you hear that? ‐ What?

Conflict.

Kamalah, the tight fisted editor of Taste

won't give into the demands of her child‐like cousin.

Well, it needs a villain.

Maxilla! The shrew.

Okay, okay, okay.

She walk..No, no, she limps in, hunched over.

Ah! That's so.. Ha‐ha‐ha.

Distroying everything in her path with her breath.

[screaming]

Nice job, Bobby. But I think you should avoid statements like.

"The major league owners are capitalistic pigs"

"who treat the players like puppets and hoard the profits."

That was Russell's idea.

Khadijah, you have a meeting with the printer, 15 minutes

time to skedaddle.

And, Bobby, could you sign this for me please?

Sure, who should I make this out to?

The U. S Government. It's a W‐4.

Being all fan happy aren't you?

Oh, cheese on bread!

Damn thing broke again.

You see what working for this goat yard magazine

has done to me?

I'm gonna sell pictures to my public to survive.

That would be a dollar, please.

Russell, you cannot be that hard up for money.

Hear me now. I haven't had a raise in almost two years.

And I've been that big boned Khadijah form the very beginning.

Things are not that bad here.

Oh, sure, we don't have a health plan.

It costs about 40 cents to go to the bathroom.

But if Khadijah can do something about it, she would.

You're a such a trusting girl. Could I hold your wallet?

Bo‐Bo gal.

Hey, Mr. Baseball.

When did the players decide it was time to strike?

Oh, when the owners refused to budge we realized

it was time to stand up for ourselves.

That's right! I say we strike.

Against Khadijah? That's not right.

It's justice! No raise, no work.

No raise, no work! No raise, no work!

No raise, no work!

No, mon. No, mon.

There's no reason to strike.

Working conditions are good around here.

Anybody got any change? I gotta go.

Here's a washer. It works like a dime.

Forgot my check book.

Khadijah, we should talk.

People are very unhappy that the equipment doesn't work

and supplies are running low.

You on that again?

It's not just me. We've got lots of disgruntled employees here.

Lucky for you we don't work at the post office.

You're lucky to have a job.

Oh, I'm the lucky one?

Oh, I'm the lucky one. Well, lucky, lucky, lucky me.

What's the matter Synclaire?

Is the cruel boot of management

weighing heavily on your pretty neck?

Oh, let's just all get back to work.

You know, Khadijah, these are just the conditions

that force people to walk.

Synclaire, let's get serious.

You can't stop working if you never really started.

Oh!

Hey, Bobby?

What's it called when a batter swings and misses the ball?

A strike.

That's the word. Strike, set it off!

(all) Strike! Strike! Strike!

(all) Strike! Strike! Strike!

Alright! Alright, okay, alright.

‐ Strike! Strike! Strike! ‐ Alright!

Just a little family spat. Everything is okay...

Right, Synclaire?

Oh, no it's not Miss Missy.

You get back to me when I have a raise

a new keyboard and some big gold fish.

Synclaire, you know I can't afford all that stuff right now.

I don't care about finances.

I have mouths to feed.

Russell, you don't have no kids.

But I have women.

I want a raise. We all want a raise.

We want a raise.

(all) We want a raise. We want a raise.

We want a raise. We want a raise.

This is all your fault.

I guess if you can't work nobody can work, huh?

Hey, you got it all wrong. I'm on your side.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Let's just all calm down.

If we keep cool heads we can all settle this reasonably.

There's nothing to settle.

Salaries are gonna have to stay where they are.

That's a salary cap.

Strike! Strike!

(all) Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!

Synclaire! You can't strike. We're family.

So were Kane and Abel.

Strike! Strike! Strike!

Wait, listen up, everybody.

Strategy meeting down at Junior's restaurant.

Bobby billionaire's payin'.

(all) Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!

(Synclaire) 'Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Go! Strike!'

Hey! Its thing one and thing two perpetrating the screen writers.

Hey, how's it goin'?

It's goin' great man, get this.

Lyle the stockbroker slash secret agent

is investing in mutual funds while chewing his way

through a pair of stainless steel wrist‐cuffs

as he tries to avert a thermo‐nuclear meltdown.

While Regina, the clothing designer slash martial artist

and bride to be, is matching fabric swatches

with her bridesmaids while fighting off a pack of ninjas.

You know this sounds so bad, Hollywood just might buy it.

Is there a part in it for me?

Yes, you get impaled by a lightning rod

in the first frame.

M‐hm. It's 'cause she a sister.

See, ya'll playin' right into the formula.

I knew we could do it if we tried.

(Khadijah) 'Why, you ungrateful..'

[grunting]

What's goin' on?

Norma Rae, here, incited a riot at flavor today.

Is that so? Well, alright, my little wildcat.

I told Khadijah if she doesn't meet our demands

there'll be heck to pay.

You know, uh, I like it when you get fiesty, momma.

You, uh‐You wanna go for a little stroll or something?

Hold up. Never get in the middle of a fight between two women.

Unless there's mud involved, you know?

Let me tell you somethin'.

Strike or no strike, Flavour is not shuttin' down.

I'll run that magazine myself if I have to.

Yes, and don't worry Khadijah, I'll help you.

I loaned you $2,000 last time the magazine was in trouble

and I ain't seein' that go down the toilet

'cause you screwed up again.

‐ My girl. ‐ Alright!

‐ You know me. ‐ See?

You know me.

Always there with a helping hand.

Be careful. Give her a hand and she'll take your heart!

How about I snatch it out of your chest?

Alright ladies, let's not get ugly.

Oh it's much to late for that, isn't it?

‐ Oh so now you gonna try and‐‐ ‐ Oh, because you're‐‐

[arguing]

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey!

Now, I know this situation is difficult for all of us, right?

But if we just speak slowly, and clearly..

Regine can get it all down for our screenplay.

Okay, action.

[arguing]

[telephone ringing]

Flavour. Hold.

[telephone ringing]

Flavour. Hold.

[telephone ringing]

Flavour. Hold.

This is easy.

Max, did you proofread those articles?

No. I was too busy

doing this riveting hip‐hop crossword puzzle.

So, guess you're ready to get back to work. Huh?

We're here to negotiate on behalf of the rest of the staff.

I guess you've learned that it's pretty difficult

running Flavor without us.

We're doin' fine.

Oh yeah? What's with all the calls on hold?

I keep them there till they forget what they want.

Okay, she's good on the phones.

Nonetheless, here's our list of needs for your consideration.

Okay, I'll get the copier fixed, buy some pens

and get a whole box of staple removers.

And that's it.

What about the health plan? The raises?

My yearly Junka' to Jamaica?

Enough. We're goin' to every news stand in Brooklyn

tellin' people not to buy Flavor.

‐ Come on. ‐ You wouldn't.

Yes I would.

Synclaire, I'm tellin' you, I'm gonna..

I'm gonna call your mother.

Bobby‐Bo, she's playin' tough.

Khadijah, these people work hard for you.

Nobody asked you.

And you're way outta your league, you wannabe writer.

My column was good.

‐ Hey, I call 'em as I see 'em. ‐ You need glasses.

I think you need "Hooked on Phonics".

Phonics?

Excuse me. Khadijah, phone for you.

It's your mother.

Yeah right. Sons of..

Hello?

Hi, ma‐Hi, mommy.

Well, she started it.

‐ No I didn't, Rita! ‐ She did so!

'She's always doin' stuff like this'

She's not bein' fair.

No, I'm not gonna say sorry..

Gets me sick.

Ha ha ha ha! Woo!

This screenplay turned out really great!

Yeah, no doubt. This is a million dollar movie.

Yeah. Too bad it's not yours.

Yeah, that Marvin at the video store really knows how to write.

Who are we kidding, Kyle?

Our script's not good enough for an infomercial.

Regina the problem is, you havn't heard out words, right?

So let's read a scene from the screenplay out loud.

And you hear how good it is.

Alright? Regina, you play Regina.

I'll play Lyle, of course.

And Overton, you play Professor Earnest Wakefield

the mad scientist.

So I'm insane?

No, just angry.

Action.

"Professor Wakefield.

"Do you seriously expect me to give you the micro‐film?

"That's not what a martial artist secret agent

who is about to get married would do. Is it?"

"Shut up."

"Professor, I'm a multi‐lingual stockbroker secret agent.

You expect me to let you speak to my bride to be that way?"

"Don't make me madder."

"Professor Wakefield, we've climed 700 feet

"up the face of Mount Rushmore to your secret hideout.

We want the device and we want it now."

"Grr."

"Regina, the poison darts you've hidden in your wedding gown.

Throw them. Now!"

"Commandoes. Get them!"

That's it. I'm done.

Uh, well..

Oh, now now, Regina. This could be a proper little film.

Maybe not domestically, but internationally.

Let's just send it to the Republic of Togo.

I'm sure they'll line up outside the movie hut for this one

[indistinct yelling]

Regine, Regine, listen.

You aren't going to take the opinion of a man

who's favourite movie is "The Little Elf That Could".

Hey, don't make me madder.

[indistinct yelling]

I still can't believe she called my mother!

Alright Khadijah, alright, listen.

It's almost midnight, and I've got a plan for compromise.

No. I'm not hearin' it.

And I'm not givin' in to that renegade Rasta.

And I have cut Synclaire's branch from the family tree.

Alright. We don't have time for your little pow‐wow.

Are you gonna meet our demands

or are we gonna shut this place down?

How'd I do?

‐ Pretty good. ‐ Good good.

Look. I'm here to negotiate in good faith.

Right Max?

Yeah, sure.

I am a fair and reasonable woman.

‐ Right Max? ‐ Whatever.

But financially, I just can't meet your salary demands.

Right Max?

Khadijah, may I scream at you for a moment? Come here.

I looked at your books.

If you move your discretionary fund over to your payroll

you can give your staff a two‐and‐a‐half percent raise.

But that's my cushion. What if I get in financial trouble again?

That would be a hint that you don't know what you're doin'

Khadijah, you're worried that Flavour might go under one day.

I'm talkin' about it going out of business right now.

Can you dig me?

Yeah, I guess.

Alight, lookie here.

Khadijah's offering you a two‐and‐a‐half percent raise.

Take it or leave it.

‐ Sounds good to me. ‐ The demand is five percent.

If we fire our Music Editor

we can give you all five percent.

Two‐and‐a‐half percent. Not a penny less.

And a tropical aquarium with a castle.

A goldfish in a baggie.

Deal.

Well, now that we're back on the payroll.

I saved those receipts from dinner

and this is what you owe me.

Wait. Bobby Billionaire is cheaper than Khadijah.

Sorry I had to go against you like that Khadijah.

But, I had to stand up for myself. I learned that from you.

Please don't hate me.

You're my cousin. I could never hate you.

Unless you woulda' held out

and then I woulda' had to kick your ass out the house.

That's beautiful.

Except for the kickin' my ass part.

Well, it's all behind us now.

Yeah. A‐Almost.

Um, the day we walked out, a few bills came in way past due

and since I wasn't working, I didn't pay them.

[theme music]

(Khadijah) 'This is really cool of you, Bobby.

'I don't get chances to learn from a superstar'

(Bobby) 'My pleasure.'

'Try to hit the strike zone and I'll hit it back to you easy.

(Khadijah) 'Got it.'

[thunk]

[thunk]

[thunk]

[thunk]

[thunk]

I think I'm gettin' the hang of this. Can I try my fast ball?