Original subtitles

Forget about it, Synclaire.

I do not wanna go ice skating this weekend.

Still got bruises from the last time we went.

You'd reduce the swelling

if you just stayed on the ice when you fall.

Give it up, girl.

Khadijah is living proof

that some people just aren't meant to balance

on two little blades.

And you're living proof that two little blades do not..

A moustache clear.

Mornin', ladies. Sweet Pea.

Hi, Obie.

Oh, Obie. You look exhausted.

Girl, I didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

Was Kyle singin' opera in his sleep again?

And I learned to ignore all of that.

But, since I was up, I figured

I'd make you all new mailbox labels.

Each one is a brass plate with your name engraved

in beautiful old fashioned script.

Overton, this is Hebrew.

The mailman's Jewish.

♪ We are living single ♪

♪ Oh in a 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪

♪ You gotta fight with ♪

♪ My home girls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue and tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living single ♪

♪ Ha‐a‐a‐a ♪

[hip‐hop music]

Khadijah, I was wondering

if you had a chance to read my article.

Synclaire, you just gave it to me.

Eight months ago. It's gonna go stale.

How can an article called "What makes dogs so great"

ever go stale?

Aren't you supposed to be getting Sheri's desk ready?

Already done.

The under side of the desk is now gum‐free.

Can't wait for Sheri to get here.

Back then, we were so tight

they used to call us "Hey, you two."

And if I know her..

She'll be writing at that desk 24 hours a day.

Boom. I'm here.

[laughing]

Khadijah.

What's up, girl?

Sheri, loud as ever.

Yeah, well. To hear me is to love me.

How you doing?

‐ You wanna show me around? ‐ Sure.

Well... this is it.

Yeah? Well, I won't get lost.

Is this your office? Very nice.

A nice sense of semi‐privacy.

Hi, Sheri. I'm Synclaire.

The cousin with the hairy feet.

You told.

We used a picture of your feet

for our eighth grade science project.

It was in the name of science.

Well, for the greater good.

What a sport. I would've kicked your ass.

Sheri, it'll be so great having you here.

Just like high school.

‐ And by that, I mean the pay. ‐ Hey, don't sweat it.

I figure Khadijah's my girl. She's got her own magazine.

I'm currently unemployed. I'll give it a shot.

Now, look. I know you're used to giving your bosses crap.

But you're not just my employee, you're my friend.

So I expect double the crap.

You can count on it.

Hey. Is that a zit?

Ha ha. Got ya'.

Where's my desk? I wanna get to work.

You hear that, Synclaire? She wants to get to work.

Yeah. You and I will catch up at lunch, right?

No, I can't. I gotta edit some stories.

Why don't you take Synclaire?

It's easy to get her to laugh

and make her blow soda out of her nose.

You know, I love that.

There's a new restaurant that just opened

down the street. It is traditional Japanese.

I don't know.

I don't think I wanna see your feet while I'm eatin'.

I don't wanna see my feet when I'm eatin'.

Who'll scare the waiters?

[laughing]

Alright. Who wants some coffee?

None for me, thanks.

Overton, have you been here all night?

Well, not in that one spot. No.

But, I polished your pipes, organized your cleaning products

and installed some teak paneling

in case company looks down there.

What has been keeping you up?

There's only two things that can cause a man

not to sleep for three days.

Heartache or career crises.

You kiddin'? Synclaire and I are closer than jelly on toast.

Hell, I got the dream job.

Oh sure, I don't have my own show on TV

like some handymen but, don't keep me up at night.

Then, you sick, man.

Overton, have you tried some sort of a sleep aid?

Girl, I tried 'em all.

"Sleepex", "Snoozafan Plus", "Maximum Strefsnoresin".

Even tried the generic brand "Go To Sleep."

Well, Overton, I once read that really vigorous work

can help a person get to sleep.

‐ Yeah? ‐ 'Yeah.'

And I need a new fireplace front. Y'know, nothin' fancy.

Just some Italian marble.

Hey.

Hey, Kyle.

You stay away from me.

What's wrong with you? I mean, besides the genetic stuff?

Lassie go home.

This man woke me up at four in the morning

askin' me if I wanted fondue?

Hey! I made too much.

Morning.

Oh, Obie. Didn't sleep again.

Didn't you try counting cows?

Cows?

Sure. They're slower than sheep. Easier to count.

[phone ringing]

Hello? Hey, Sheri. I'm on my way to the office now.

Can I talk to you from there?

Oh. Synclaire. Synclaire, Sheri for you.

Hey, Sheri.

‐ Really? Their grand opening? ‐ Whose?

"Doughnut Heaven."

Okay. I'll meet you there in ten minutes.

We'll get some "Raspberry Fills" some "Boston Creams"‐‐.

Ooh, and some plains.

Okay, Khadijah wants some plain.

Yeah, I know.

What's wrong with plain?

When writing an article, I should never begin a sentence

with "and", "but" or "or".

Exactly. They're all conjunctions.

Kinda like "Conjunction Junction?"

♪ What's your function ♪

♪ I'm hookin' up phrases and clauses that balance like ♪

♪ Let's go up to the mountain or down to the sea ♪

♪ You should always say thank you ♪

♪ Or at least say please ♪

‐ Hello! ‐ Whoo!

[indistinct singing]

I just... gonna go back to my desk.

Hey look, Synclaire. I got a little time now.

What say, I show you how to organize slides for Photo Lab?

Oh, that's ok. Sheri showed me yesterday.

Oh, good.

(Sheri) 'Hey, Synclaire.'

Can you get me information on the national crime statistics?

Alrighty. Why don't I proofread what you've written so far?

Alrighty. But don't make little smiley faces in all the "O's".

And the Russian judge says..

I hope this little holiday on ice means

your feature is on my desk just waiting to be edited.

Oh my God, the feature. Oh, geez. I completely forgot.

It's on your desk right now with a list of my references

in case you want to double check my material.

‐ You're very thorough. ‐ That's right.

‐ Well, alright. Carry on. ‐ Alright.

Synclaire, can I see you in my office for a minute?

What? Thank you.

I wanted to let you know

I'm reading your "Dog" article today.

Oh, you don't have to bother.

Sheri already read it and gave me some great notes.

Oh. What did she say?

She said I had a lot of potential.

Although, it wasn't apparent in the article she read.

Synclaire. Come on. It's lunch time.

You know what that means.

Construction workers!

Yeah. There he is. Two o'clock.

Mine. Mine.

Mine. Uh‐huh. Mine now.

Overton, slow down.

Hey, whatcha watchin'?

"Little House On The Prairie."

Ain't that the show you're always

making fun of Synclaire for watchin'?

Yeah. But, you know, it's not that bad.

They can get the water wheel fixed

if the potato crop comes in.

I'm headin' for the kitchen. Anybody want anything?

That's eight steps.

That many steps, to get from the chair to the fridge.

Eight regular steps.

As opposed to baby steps which as everyone knows

is a quarter of a regular step.

Then you got giant steps.

Three times as big as a regular step.

And if you talk about giant babies goin' in there

man, it's gonna get complicated.

Overton, you need a doctor.

I already took him to one.

He said Overton was fine, physically

and that his problem was probably... psychological.

Uh, that's ridiculous.

Never felt better in my life.

Did you know the giraffe give birth, standin' up?

Man! That's a six foot drop!

127, 128... Overton was right.

It is exactly 128 steps from my apartment here.

But how many is it, back?

Overton. You're still awake. Excellent.

I was thinkin' of puttin' in a new steam shower.

Steam shower? That's so passe'.

What you want is one of them eucalyptus chambers.

I'll get right on it.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight..

I better go. You know, this morning I found him outside

trying to speckle a bottle?

Yo, where is Synclaire?

She know the rules. Her man, her problem.

She stayed late at the office to help Sheri with research.

Hmm. They've been hangin' out together lately a lot.

Yeah. When did they get so tight?

I encouraged it. I think it's great. My cousin. My friend.

I'm‐I'm really happy about it.

Now, shut up and let me watch this TV show.

Aw. Is Khadijah missing Synclaire?

No.

Stop lyin'.

Well, don't be sad. We'll fill in for her.

What's buzzin', cousin? Ha ha ha.

Ching‐tac‐tac‐tac.

‐ O‐o‐o‐o. ‐ Woh‐woh‐woh. Woh‐woh‐woh.

Y'all are wrong. Oh, good golly, dead wrong.

I live with her. I work with her.

I don't miss Synclaire.

Hey, Synclaire.

Wanna go to the movies? Just the two of us?

‐ Well, I‐‐ ‐ I'm such a pushover.

I always get "The Watchtower" and "The Wake."

Hey, Dij.

‐ Hey, Sher. ‐ Oh, so you popped that zit.

What're you doing?

‐ We're going ice‐skating. ‐ Yeah, why don't you come with?

Oh, Khadijah doesn't skate, she falls.

Oh, yeah?

I plan on falling.

But I'm gonna take a whole lot of people down with me.

No, you guys go ahead. I'll see you when you come back.

‐ Alright. ‐ Okay, suit yourself.

(Synclaire) 'No, never.'

[horse neighing]

Oh, the potato crop failed.

Hey, Khadijah, before you say anything

it's my fault that Synclaire's late.

Oh, it's cool.

It is?

Sure! What's 20 minutes between cousins?

Sounds like a pick‐up line at a hillbilly bar.

Well, no time for lollygagging

I feel the inspiration for a new article coming on.

"Cats our cuddly buddies."

Hey, what's this?

Well, I read your first article and I really enjoyed it

so, as a reward, I thought I'd give you a little more privacy.

Oh, yeah? Do I get a ceiling and a door for my next story?

I'll give you wet naps

you can pretend like you have a sink in your office.

Yo, Sheri!

You ever get that sinking feeling?

That's good. That's funny. Ha ha ha.

Khadijah, are you okay?

Fine. Just tryin' to get work done in my place of business.

Can't all have as much fun as you two.

Hmm, Khadijah, why don't you come hang out with us tonight?

No, I'm sure you two have your plans.

Come on, Khadijah, don't be such a Stacy "Stick in the Mud."

We'll do anything you like.

Don't do me any favors.

There are plenty of things I can do.

We could play Clue.

‐ What the hell is that? ‐ Her favorite board game.

Clue's good! We love clue.

(Sheri) 'We're playing Clue.'

Tonight, I can hardly wait.

What the hell did I get myself into?

It's a murder mystery game where you guess who the murderer is

with what weapon and where.

Reminds me of Jersey.

[both giggling]

Alright.

Now, you may have pulled the wool over the eyes

of the Scotland Yard boys, Miss Scarlet, but not me.

Oh, come on, give us all a break.

It's called Clue, not moron.

What was that? What was..

Oh, it was just the hounds baying at the moon.

Anyway, I'm going to ferret the truth out of you, Miss Scarlet

or my name isn't Colonel Mustard.

Now, I propose it was you..

Who killed him, in the conservatory, with the knife.

I declare, Colonel Mustard, are you accusin' me of murder?

Ah! I swoon!

I puke!

Okay. Synclaire, your turn.

I'm gonna guess who the murderer is.

But you have no evidence.

Don't need evidence, I had a vision.

It's Professor Plum, in the dining room, with a rope.

And I am out.

Don't sweat it, come, we'll be partners.

No. There are no partners.

Besides, she just saw who the murderer was.

Yahtzee!

Overton, man, we're playing Clue.

‐ I'm gonna get some snacks. ‐ Yeah, you got any fruit?

Yeah, we have apples, oranges, plums.

Plum sounds good.

Hey, whoa, whoa, hold up.

What was that?

What?

You goin' to the kitchen for a plum?

Professor Plum? Oh and I suppose you're cutting it with a knife?

You're tryin' to give her the answer. You're cheating.

Lighten up, she was just taking my food order.

Of course, you're gonna defend her.

Khadijah, stop trippin'.

No, no, no, I heard them.

Plum, knife, kitchen.

Doesn't it bother you that some people are trying to get over?

What bothers me is when you're in the mood

we have to play this dumb game.

Synclaire, get me a cantaloupe.

I cannot believe you'd accuse us of cheating.

Oh, forget about it, Synclaire. She's on to us.

I mean, it's been fun roaming the country

pulling one clue scam after another.

But look, we finally met our match.

[laughing]

Alright, now look, I've been playing this game

since I was a kid, and never have I seen someone

who just had to have fruit, in the middle of the game.

Well, I will not be a part of this mockery of Clue!

[laughing]

She is really mad.

I don't think she's coming back.

Let's look at her cards.

Hey, hey, hey. Come on, come on.

Let's just play the game. Who's next?

Gin.

Khadijah, we need to talk.

I'm in no mood for any of your heart‐to‐hearts.

Woo‐woo‐woo. Woo‐woo‐woo.

Don't... "woo‐woo‐woo" me.

Okay, maybe you and Sheri weren't cheatin'.

Clue brings out the worst in me.

Bye.

So does Monopoly, Scrabble, Trouble, Candy Land, Jacks.

Operation, Life. Ah! This is not about your poor sportsmanship.

Ever since Sheri showed up, you've been pouty

touchy, and I'm gonna come right out and say it, snippy.

Well, maybe that's because the two of you

been acting like two gossipy giggly little girls.

‐ And what's wrong with that? ‐ It's immature. It's stupid.

It used to be us.

You're jealous.

I am not.

I don't like y'all acting as if you like each other

more than you like me.

"Sheri, show me how to organize slides."

"Sheri, read my article."

I know what a conjunction is.

Khadijah, that is just so petty.

And it's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.

Yeah, well, get over it.

Na‐ah, I'm savoring this moment.

You haven't paid me this much attention

since I almost burned down Flavor.

It wasn't the kinda attention I wanted

but still you were focused.

I always pay attention to you.

Uh, not like it used to be.

Remember when I first moved to New York

and‐and we'd go to the Knicks games

and you would yell at Spike Lee, "Sit down, shorty!"

And after he turned around you'd point to me like I did it.

Those were the days, we need to do that again.

I bet you, I could get you arrested.

That would be nice.

Hey, sorry to interrupt

but your friend Kyle just started using a Russian accent.

I had to get outta there.

Look, Sheri, I'm sorry I went off.

Hey, you were trying to solve a murder.

Anyone could crack under the pressure.

Listen, it seems my being here is affecting your relationship.

And, uh, I'm thinking it's for the best I don't work at Flavor.

Oh, Sheri, it's not your fault.

I mean, Synclaire and I had a couple of problems

but I think we worked them out.

Well, damn, I'll have to tell you the truth.

Alright, I got my first paycheck today

and I know you warned me it's small, but girl..

If I had a cat, I'd starve.

You know, I don't wanna leave you hanging here

but I think I'm gonna have to go back to freelancin'.

Well, I'm sorry to see you go.

That's it? No crying? No pleading? No begging to stay?

‐ Sheri, stay? ‐ I can't, I can't.

But I would like to take that wall with me.

So I can remember all the good times.

Khadijah, you made us play the game, come and take your turn.

Bump that, I wanna know what's goin' on.

Everything's fine, Khadijah apologized.

Damn! No bloodbath?

No, sorry. It's a regular love fest up here.

We were about to drink international coffees

and watch "Steel Magnolias".

Good! Now, comrades, let us get back to game, huh?

‐ I'm about to solve crime. ‐ Yeah? I'm about to commit one.

[all cheering]

You know, Khadijah, your box‐spring is pretty squeaky.

My old box‐spring was pretty squeaky.

Then I got a new one a couple of days ago, ain't heard a peep.

The squeaky sound is kinda soothing though.

Overton?

Good for him.

You know, I'm gonna miss his random babbling.

Oh, look at him sleeping like a new born baby.

[snorting]

Ooh, drool and everything.

Obie sweetie, wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up!

Hell, it ain't my bed, you know what I'm saying?

Obie!

Obie!

Come on, man, it's time to clear out.

You ain't gonna keep my bear. You ain't gonna keep my bear!

Guess you can keep the bear.

Woo‐hoo!

[giggling]