Original subtitles

Okay, yes, I'll tell Khadijah you called.

Hey, so how do you like Montenegro?

Well, give my regards to the king.

Oh! Uh... then give my regards to the rebel leader.

Oh, okay. Alright, bye.

Hey, was that Scooter?

Hmm. You just missed him, girl.

Again? Damn.

So sick of him bein' on tour.

Did he leave a number?

Uh‐uh. He just landed in Montenegro.

But he said the concert went great and he'll call you

when he gets to Vienna.

Oh and he haid "Ich liebe dich." which means I love you.

Bad enough I can't hear it from him

I gotta hear it with your phony accent.

So, how did he sound? Did he sound cute?

Adorable.

Like he had on tight jeans?

And no drawers.

Well, did he sound like you know, like he miss me?

Khadijah, in the whole ten seconds that we spoke

I sensed nothing but utter lonliness and total despair.

Aw, puss‐guddy‐poody.

Well, that's what he get for leavin' me.

[theme song]

♪ We are living single ♪

♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my gurls ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ What ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Wheneva this life get tough ♪ ♪ You gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home gurl standin' to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue we tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living single ♪

This long distance relationship is gettin' tired.

Oh, you and Scooter will learn how to deal with it.

Buddy and I are apart for months of the time

but every time I vist Minneapolis

we're still closer than ever.

Now I know what you're gonna say.

Buddy is a poodle.

No. I was gonna say Synclaire, shut up.

Buddy would never tell me to shut up.

That's why we're still so close.

'Course Buddy is a dog and dogs can't talk

but we communicate on a whole other level.

I really never had a long distance relationship before

but I did hook‐up with this guy on the plane once.

Got in trouble when he broke the smoke detector with his foot.

What do your random exploits

have to do with Khadijah's problem?

You wanna stay on the subject or you wanna hear a good story?

So, what happened next?

He got dressed. Went back to the cockpit.

Oh my God!

Give me that.

Hey, wassup? Wassup?

Khadijah, you got a history book on Kenya, yeah?

Yeah, right in the shelf.

Right between "La Toya, my story"

and "Wynona Judd, my story."

Yeah, Kyle's puttin' finishin' touches on the plan that would

not only benefit himself but the rest of the world as we know it.

He's gonna be like a young, black dreadlock wearin' Gandhi.

Ha ha ha. Thank you, Overton.

I'm makin' my first presentation to the partners tomorrow.

So lettin' your boss whoop your behind at tennis

really paid off, huh?

Yeah, but no, they're really excited

about my idea for an African Mutual Fund.

The continent has been pretty much ignored

by the financial community

and I'm going to be the man to capitalize on it.

So this means you'll be movin' to Africa soon, huh?

Now there's a long distance relationship that could work.

Sorry, Jane Pittman.

I'm gonna stay right here in New York, alright?

And get promoted in the process.

This is gonna be my ticket to the next level.

Oh, please, can't that ticket take you to Africa?

When I do get promoted I'll take you all to the Rainbow Room.

‐ What? ‐ Yes!

Oh except for you.

Come on, Kyle, I was just kiddin'.

Ah. Aww. Good luck at the big meetin', huh.

Mm‐mm‐mwah.

Ugh!

(Kyle) 'Okay, let's see, let's see.'

Um, Greetings and felicitations, gentlemen.

No, no, this is too stiff, too stiff.

Y'all wassup?

[indistinct chattering]

Good morning, Kyle.

Running a little late, Kyle. You got six minutes.

Well, I'll only need five‐and‐a‐half.

We can spend the last 30 seconds schmoozing.

[laughing]

Okay. I'll use all six minutes.

Gentlemen, here's a complete outline for my proposal.

Now, knowing that the firm

is always looking to develop emerging markets.

My research shows that the next financial frontier is Africa.

By the way, Kyle, that's a handome laser pointer.

Ow, thanks. Sharper image. $129.95.

Um, but as I was saying

Africa is a continent poised for growth.

We're looking at a economic expansion rate of over 30 to 40%

within the next 12 months.

How can we assure our investors

that Africa is a safe and stable market?

Well, it's about potential, Lawrence

I mean with Nelson Mandela in office

the continent is more stable than ever.

And remember our perception of Latin America in the '80s.

And you know how much this firm

makes of Latin America investments today.

I know.

And why do you think the cafeteria

is having a salute to Costa Rica?

Exactly. And the African fund can be just as profitable.

Assuming we have a Funds Manager

with great expertise and experience.

I suggest myself.

That's a bit greedy, Kyle.

Good for you.

Well, you gentlemen were my role models.

Well, on that note..

So, um, when can I expect to hear a decision?

When we tell you.

Fair enough.

Ah, good job, Kyle. Very creative.

Better get going, gentlemen.

We have lunch with those Japanese investors again.

You know what that means.

Burgers and fries and another matinee of "Cats".

Woo!

[snoring]

Br‐r‐ring!

Scooter?

[Maxine laughing]

Hey!

I see you stayed up all night, waiting for Scooter to call.

I did not. I stayed up till two.

I got up at four.

But between two and four I slept like a rock.

What time was he supposed to call?

This morning.

Tomorrow, his time.

Yesterday evening, my time, today.

Khadijah, go to bed.

I can't.

I don't wanna miss Scooter's call.

Khadijah, Scooter called last night around 2:30.

'I was gonna wake you but you were sleeping so soundly.'

Just like a little angel.

Did you talk to him? What did he say?

Oh, we had a lovely chat.

The record company charted a private boat

and Scooter and the ladies from the band cruised the river Seine

and then, they danced the night away at a private party

atop the Eiffel Tower.

[whimpering]

I could tell he was having no fun at all

since you weren't there.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

‐ What? ‐ Is that Scooter?

I‐I can't understand you.

Is that Scooter?

No, it's my grandmother.

Nana, put your teeth in, honey.

Oh, calm down, shortie. You gon' hyper‐ventilate again

and we're all out of paper bags.

Overton, I don't get it.

They were obviously impressed with my proposal, right?

And yesterday Jeffrey went out of his way to say hello to me

at the water cooler.

You know, I don't understand why I haven't heard anything

about this promotion yet.

Do people really stand by the water cooler?

Man, you miss so much when you work for yourself.

Good morning.

Yeah, what's good about it?

Full fur.

It's warm, it's chic and politically correct.

Kyle, did you get that big promotion?

No. It's been three days I have heard nothing about it.

It's eatin' me up inside.

Well, bon apetit.

[slurping]

Look, don't worry, Kyle.

Good things come to those who wait.

Unless, of course you're on death row.

Good luck.

You know, Overton, I can't take this anymore, man.

Then don't.

March up to one of those partners and demand a answer.

Overton, you do not march up to a partner and make demands.

You compliment them on their business accumen.

You point out their fine taste in ties

while you read something on their desk upside down.

There's gotta be somebody down at the firm

you can ask for advice.

What about that brother Lawrence?

We played poker with him.

That Lawrence is an egotistical, self‐centered jackass.

But he's a jackass you got access to.

I wonder if he's free for lunch.

Mm‐hmm.

Your hardwork has brought the firm some good returns.

And yeilded some very satisfying numbers.

As a result, our team is now third

in the Wall Street Basketball League.

[cheering]

Yes. Yes, keep it up.

‐ Hey, Lawrence. ‐ Hey, how you doing?

Seems you have a good basketball team this year.

They played like a bunch of girls.

What can I do for you?

Well, I wanted to talk.

Uh..Hey that's one heck of a tie.

Thank you.

Look, I want to ask you for some advice.

Sure, what's the problem?

Well, it seemed to me that my presentation went well.

I know there's a lot of red tape

but it's been three days. I haven't heard anything.

Yeah, it can be frustrating.

I remember when I was looking at the process from your side.

Ah‐ha.

Okay. What did you think of my proposal?

It was very impressive.

But you should be aware there is one stumbling block.

What?

It's your appearance.

[giggling]

But this jacket is Armani, this vest is Versace

these pants are Cerruti, I mean I could go on.

Kyle, no. It's not your clothes. It's your hair.

‐ My hair? ‐ 'Yes.'

What does that have to do with me becoming Funds Manager?

Well, we don't think it's corporate enough.

It has never been a problem before.

Kyle, you don't get promoted around here

by going against the grain.

Look, if this Africa project goes through

you'll be representing this company

to a much higher level clientele.

'And then your appearance becomes much more important.'

So, take my advice..

Change the hair.

[theme music]

[audience laughing]

Kyle, come on, honey. I think you made the right choice.

It's conservative yet stylish.

It's just not me, alright.

[audience applauding]

Well, that's the great thing about wearing wigs.

I mean, you can be who ever they want on the outside

but underneath the nylon, the pins

and the practical no‐sweat band, you're you.

Hey how about somethin' old that somethin' new again, huh?

The shag. Come on, just try it, come on.

For you, for you. Alright, alright..

[audience laughing]

[gasping]

Don't even try. It is too late.

We saw you sitting there looking like a black David Cassidy.

Guys, Kyle is in a career crisis.

So you can either stay here and help or you can leave.

Can we just stay here and laugh at him?

[audience laughing]

Check it out, y'all. Receding hairline.

[all laughing]

‐ Would you give me that? ‐ 'Hmm.'

What the hell is goin' on here?

It seems that the only way that I will be getting

my promotion is if I change my hairstyle

to something more corporate.

Those bastards!

All those good reasons to hold you back

and they pick something unfair like this.

My boss tried to get me to change my hair once.

You're the one that got your hair caught

in the paper shredder two days in a row.

I mean, I merely suggested a trim.

Still think I could have gotten workman's comp.

Kyle, you must know that when you work in the corporate world

sometimes you have to conform to get ahead.

So you would change your hairstyle, huh?

Hell, no. That's why I went into business for myself.

I'm no one's puppet.

We all have to compromise sometimes.

And if changing your hair means helping Africa

and gettin' paid, I say, snip snip.

Regine makes a cogent point.

Why not remove the moral dilemma altogether?

Do like I did. Go all natural.

See, you'll save a ton of money on that jojoba shampoo.

Not only that, the ladies love it.

It accentuates his sexy ears and brings out his eyebrows.

But my dreads are an expression of my culture.

If I change my hair wouldn't that be sellin' out?

Kyle, you're a stock broker.

You're a sellout, either way.

Kyle, maybe you should try working within the system.

Just till you get into a position of power.

And then you can tell else how to wear their hair.

You know, I have worked and come too far

to let something like my hair hold me back now.

Besides, maybe it is time for a change.

Overton, who's this miracle barber you've been telling me?

Alright. You go down to Shane's and ask for Moe.

He's the best there.

He's the little guy about four‐foot three.

But don't worry 'cause the chair's in a pit.

[audience laughing]

Certainly the fund would require an expert hand to manage it.

That's why I suggest myself as funds manager.

Kyle, that's an impressive presentation.

However, there is one little adjustment you can make.

Um, anything.

The tie.

I‐I like it.

Of course the suit must go.

Hey... I'm a team player.

Nice fabric, and... the shoes work.

Something's missing.

I don't know about this.

Hey, Kyle.

Overton, man, I'm so glad to see... you.

Meet Moe, the barber.

Snip, snip. Snip, snip.

Um, this concludes my presentation.

Kyle! It's time to perform for the queen.

The, the queen?

Your majesty.

[audience laughing]

Make me laugh!

[screaming]

Ooh.

Okay, Tokyo. Budapest.

Regine. I just don't think I can pull it off.

No, I think it looks adorable.

No, really. I can't pull it off.

Khadijah, scooter just called us from London.

Said he was trying to reach you, but your phone's been busy.

Max, didn't you hear that phone beep?

Michael, I gotta go. Someone needs to use the phone.

Arthur, I gotta go. Someone needs to use the phone.

Why you go tie up both lines like that?

Only one of them was long distance.

Did he leave a number?

He's just checked out of the hotel

and about to catch a ferry over to Ireland.

He did leave a message.

He said that he's thinkin' of you all the time.

The photo shoot went well and that he and the girls

met the queen of England and danced the night away

at Buckingham palace.

Isn't he just havin' a merry old cheerio time?

Bloody twit!

Girl, I know Scooter's workin'. But it also sounds like

he's livin' the life while you're living by the phone.

Mmm, you're missin' sleep, you don't go out at nights.

Haven't done laundry in weeks. I'm runnin' out of clothes.

Look, Scooter is just doing his job.

Do you think it's easy taking care of four beautiful women?

Escorting them to all those clubs.

Making sure their skirts are short enough.

Scheduling their bikini waxes.

Damn! I need a life and this is not it.

I mean, I'm gonna stop sittin' and worryin' about that phone.

And if Scooter catches me, he just catches me.

That's right. Good.

Remember, I like my socks rolled from the open part down

to the toe not the other way like you've been doing it.

How long is Kyle gonna keep us waiting.

First he calls a special meeting and then he's late.

He's learning.

Glad you all could make it.

This had better be good.

What can we do for you, Kyle?

Actually this is about what I cannot do for you.

Um... when I joined this firm about three years ago.

I believed it to be a place where person advanced

because of his or her ability.

But I've come to realize that this firm values

'the superficial over the substantial.'

But I cannot violate my personal integrity.

My hair is not just for fashion. It's part of my heritage.

It is a statement of pride.

[audience applauding]

A statement, by the way which could show our clients

that this firm is not progressive when investing

it's money, but also progressive when investing in it's people.

So gentlemen, whether you decide to promote me or not..

I will not change my hair.

[audience applauding]

Okay.

‐ That's it? ‐ Kyle.

Uh, we resolved the hair issue this morning.

When Lawrence brought it up we were concerned.

After some discussion we came to the conclusion

that you have just so eloquently stated.

If we wanted to bring it up to you Kyle, we would have.

How did you hear about it, anyway?

Lawrence.

You know I feel it's not in keeping with the company image.

You really need to loosen up.

We were gonna save this for the board meetin', Kyle.

But, uh, we're gonna go ahead with the project

and promote you the funds manager.

Thank you, sir.

Unless you want to take a stand about your goatee

I guess we're about done.

‐ Congratulations. ‐ Thank you very much.

‐ Well done. ‐ Thank you.

Uh, Kyle. No hard feelings, huh.

No feelings at all, man.

Look, I was just trying to help.

You see, that's the sad part.

You actually believe that.

Yeah.

I do.

[theme music]

[whistling]

[audience laughing]

Overton, how you doin'?

Ah, doin' pretty good, man. How about yourself?

I'm doin' alright. How's your girl, Synclaire?

Oh, she's fine, man.

We're still kind of, you know taking it easy.

We're gonna take our time.

Oh, I love that Khadijah girl.

‐ You and Khadijah. ‐ Man, that would be something.

The possibilities are endless, Moe, my man.

Ha? Don't laugh while you cut my hair though. Alright.

(female ♫1) Whoo‐hoo!

[woman chuckles]