Original subtitles

Hey, you all remember Kevon?

Uncle Obie!

Hey, Kev. What's up, man?

Kevon, did the Big Brother program assign

Kyle to you as punishment?

You're right. She is a mean old lady.

Where's the nice one with the fake hair?

Well, Regine is at the doctor's, but if you want to see her hair

there's a whole box of it upstairs.

[bell chiming]

Ice cream!

That ice cream man is so greedy

he'll deliver through a blizzard.

Can I have some money for some ice cream?

Kevon, man, you just had a candy bar.

Please?

Ah, look at that face. You can't turn him down.

Here you go, Kev. Get some ice cream.

‐ I better go with him. ‐ No, I'll go.

Well, I got a hankering for a Nutty Buddy my damn self.

Yo, shorty, I think I gave him my last dollar.

Uh, Kyle, could I have some money for some ice cream?

Please?

‐ Hey, right. Here. ‐ Thanks.

Hey, get me a Bomb Pop.

‐ A Bomb Pop. ‐ Alright. Bomb Pop.

‐ Bomb Pop. ‐ Alright.

Man, I gave Overton a 50.

Oh, he'll bring back your change.

(Overton) 'Hey, kids, I got a 50! I got a 50!'

♪ We are living single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ooh and in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪

♪ You got to fight with ♪

♪ My homegirl standing to my left ♪

♪ And my right ♪ ♪ True blue ♪

♪ It's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Check check check it out ♪ ♪ Single ♪

♪ Do what you want no free position girl ♪

♪ Ha ♪

You know, this commercial makes me so hungry.

It's a public service announcement.

Yeah, for eating disorders.

‐ Hey. ‐ Hey.

So, what did the doctor say about your back?

Oh, you know how doctors are.

They always got to find something wrong with you.

He told me I needed a breast reduction.

I told him he needed to go to hell.

A breast reduction?

You know, I always thought you walked a little hunched over.

So, what are you going to do?

I'm going to ignore him.

Come on, I don't want to look like a man or..

Max.

Hey, more than a handful is wasted.

Says you.

Regine, if your doctor's recommending it

maybe you should consider it.

Now, that's how I chose my toothbrush.

Synclaire, we're talking about my breasts, not gingivitis.

Regine, your back has been bothering you

for the last three months.

Maybe you should just get a second opinion.

I don't need to go to another doctor, alright?

I'll just have to get some gravity boots

and hang upside down for a couple of hours.

Yeah, but is it worth two black eyes?

Ah, jealous, boyish Max.

Look, if it'll make it any easier for you

I will go with you.

‐ You would? ‐ Yeah.

Well, you pay for the cab and lunch, and I'm there.

[siren wailing]

Obie killed the ice cream man.

No, no, the ice cream man is not dead.

The paramedic said all he needs is a little rest.

And maybe a bypass.

All I did was ask for a Nutty Buddy.

But the ice cream man had to dig all the way in the back

and the next thing you know his heart skipped a beat.

Well, several, hmm.

So, man..

Did you get the Bomb Pop?

Here you go.

Would you relax?

No. What if this was you?

In fact, this should be you.

‐ Why isn't this you? ‐ Nah!

Now, I was built to hold this shelf.

A‐are you here to be reduced too?

[chuckles] Oh, no. I just got these.

Did you hear that? Did you hear that?

People are paying good money

to get what I might have to lose.

She will be back in three years when them things get recalled.

[sighs] What if this plastic surgeon

agrees with the other doctors.

‐ I'm just.. ‐ Look, relax now.

Look, I know you're scared, but we're passing up

one very important opportunity here.

Look at these people.

What do you say we play Name That Surgery?

Tummy tuck.

Nose job.

I have no idea.

‐ Lipo! ‐ Lipo!

[both giggling]

The doctor will see you now.

Me? No.

She's the one that's about to tip over.

My mistake.

Right this way, Ms. Hunter.

[whimpering]

[rips]

Ah, that's better.

[knock on door]

‐ Hi, I'm Dr. Sheridan. ‐ You're a woman.

Well, according to this chart, you are too.

[laughing]

So, your orthopedist recommended reduction mammoplasty.

Yes, yes, he did, but you know, just sitting here

my breasts suddenly feel quite light.

Well, before you float away..

Let me take a look at your back.

‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ Mm‐hmm what?

Oh, that's just something they teach us to say

in medical school while we're examining patients.

Ah!

[clears throat] Well, Regine, it looks to me

like your breasts are overworking

your latissimus muscles.

And that means?

We really should get your breasts down

to a workable size.

Well, I've been working with these for years.

I mean, come on, they're one of my greatest assets.

They're‐they're part of what make me a woman.

And if I might say, a diva.

Oh, a diva. That wasn't on your chart.

Okay, I got a solution.

Why don't you just give me a lifetime supply of painkillers

and then I'll be out your hair?

There's an idea. We can do your surgery right after Detox.

As a woman, would you do this?

H‐have you done this?

Many times.

On many patients.

And in your case, I would say, we'd have to take out

only about four ounces of fat, glandular tissue and skin.

And actually, I doubt we'd have to even

detach the nipple at all.

Bye‐bye. It's been really great meeting you.

Take care. Cool out. Khadijah!

Ms. Hunter, if you decide not to have this operation

your back pain can only get worse.

‐ Worse? ‐ 'Yes.'

And it's going to be kind of hard to be a diva

when you're bent over in pain, and your assets are sagging.

You paint an ugly picture.

Okay... I'll do it.

Good decision.

And the first step is taking pictures

so we can determine precisely what needs to be done.

Pictures?

(Sheridan) 'Higher, please.'

'All the way up. That's right.'

'Hands up. Here we go.'

'Lovely. Lovely.'

'A little higher.'

'Okay, now a little side to side.'

Those kids used to love me.

Now, I'm more hated than supermarket‐brand sneakers.

Oh, Obie, they're children.

They've probably forgotten about this whole

ice cream man incident already. Come on.

[kids chanting] 'Down with Obie! Down with Obie!'

Wow, they really do hate you.

Hey, you kids, knock it off!

(kid ♫1) 'The murderer's girlfriend!'

[kids booing]

Badass kids.

You know, Overton, I have to say it's kinda nice

not being the most hated grown‐up in the neighborhood.

Thanks for taking the heat off, man.

I knew I should have ordered the ice cream sandwich.

They were right up front, but no

just had to get the Nutty Buddy from way in the back.

Curse this craving for peanuts!

Just buy them some ice cream, and get them off your back.

You can't buy their affection.

Yeah. Got to reach out to 'em.

Reason with them.

Hey, kids, cut a brother a break.

Now, I'm your uncle Obie.

[kids yelling] 'Get him!'

♪ You've got to accentuate the positive ♪

♪ Eliminate the negative.. ♪

Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up.

I wish they'd just hurry up and get this over with.

I haven't eaten in 24 hours.

They wouldn't let you eat?

What kind of prison is this?

And then they stabbed me with this giant needle

to get me to relax. How am I supposed to relax?

Hey, what if, what if they mess up, huh?

O‐o‐or what if they take too much?

What if they give me a third one?

Well, they say the third one's the charm.

You know, sweet thing, you can find the silver lining

in any cloud.

But sometime, you need to just let it rain.

Oh, okay. Okay, okay, you're right, you're right.

What?

I just can't imagine you without them. I..

Kyle, you're like Satan's little get well card.

Well, I'll be sure to be more sympathetic

when you're getting your lobotomy.

Khadijah, what if I don't make it?

[scoffs]

Regine, we have your check for this month's rent.

We'll be fine.

And when you come back, I'm just going to sing, sing‐‐.

If you mention singing one more..

Who put the blue hat on Larry's table?

I think that happy needle just kicked in.

Alright, now, Regine, I'll be right here when you come out.

Ah, thank you, Khadijah.

Kha‐dee‐jah!

You know, I've known you longer than I've had these.

We've been through a lot together.

Me and mine.

You and yours.

We bought our first bras together

and then we went to the pa‐a‐anty section.

A‐and the saleslady had to tell you

what a G‐string was.

Oh, come on.

Shouldn't you have passed out by now?

Oh, and, Max. Oh, funny, funny Max.

Bye‐bye, friends!

[laughing]

Bye‐bye, double Ds.

Smooches!

[instrumental music]

You know, I don't think

I've ever seen Regine this quiet before.

She ought to have surgery more often.

I heard that, you goat.

Hey, she's back.

So how are you feeling?

[groans]

Okay, I guess.

Oh, my God.

How are you feeling?

Flat as a board, thanks to you.

Oh, Regine, your surgery went extremely well.

You're just bandaged quite tightly.

I can assure you we left you

with some substantial breast‐shaped structures.

Breast‐shaped structures?

What am I, a muffin pan? I want cleave.

Trust me, as someone who's performed this procedure

many, many times, you still have an impressive set of hooters.

I guess you get this attitude a lot

with your patients, huh?

‐ No. She's my worst case. ‐ Yeah.

Cleave. I want cleave.

Oh, fine. Go on. Get out.

Surprise!

The ice cream man!

Yeah, I wanted to show Kevon that you're alright.

And then show him that I had nothing to do

with you being in here.

‐ It's you. ‐ Sure, it's me.

You tried to kill me.

No, I didn't.

Have you come back to finish the job?

You and your damn Nutty Buddy.

Look, look, kind of unfair to blame me.

I mean, you are a tad bit on the hefty side.

That's it! I'll kill you, you hear me?

I'll kill you.

[groans]

[beeping]

Nurse, oh, nurse!

You killed him again?

Look, I wanna take you and get you

one of those Fudgie the Whale ice cream cakes.

In his own chocolate ocean?

‐ Sure. ‐ Let's go.

'I'll kill him.'

[chuckles]

Hey, Regine, come on over.

‐ Hey, you guys. ‐ 'Hey, girl.'

Good to see you out. Here.

'Oh, thank you.'

Alright, now isn't this much better

than sittin' at home knitting and singing.

"The Way We Were?"

So, how are you doing? Feeling better?

Yeah. I'm feeling great.

But I'm still having that nightmare

where I'm in the swimsuit competition

at the Miss America pageant, and people are yelling.

"Get that guy off the stage!"

No, but I‐I'm fine, I'm fine.

[laughing]

God, look at the way she is throwing her chest in his face.

Who does that?

Hey, Kyle, Overton.

Oh, Mitch, what's up, man? Alright!

Now, you guys coming over Sunday to watch the fight, right?

On that little bitty box you call a TV?

Yeah. TV's so small.

Last time, went over there to watch "Eight Is enough"

could only see three people.

‐ That's too small, baby. ‐ That's too small.

Well, maybe next time, alright?

Alright.

Well, you know, Mitch, I love boxing.

Oh, is that right?

Well, I‐it's my roommate

who makes a big production out of fight night, you know.

Well, then maybe you should avoid

all the hoopla at your place

and, oh, take somebody out to a movie or get some dinner.

Well, I‐I'm sorry, I don't eat out much.

Well, uh, I got to go feed my meter.

Hey, I'll check you guys later, alright?

‐ Alright, peace, man ‐ Alright.

Well, that was nice and humiliating.

Oh, Regine, it wasn't that bad.

He tried to let you down nicely before he totally dissed you.

I'm gonna go home.

Hey, wait. Don't..

♪ Scattered pictures ♪

♪ Of the smiles we left behind.. ♪

[knock on door]

Go away.

Okay, but I can only stay a minute.

Why don't you just leave me alone.

Mr. I‐just‐can't‐ imagine‐you‐without‐them?

Okay, okay, so I lose some of my debonair nonchalance

in a hospital room. I'm sorry.

No, it's not just you, Kyle.

Did you see the way I repulsed your friend?

Not because you looked different

because you looked desperate.

Well, how else was I supposed to get his attention?

He was talking to you

but having a conversation with Khadijah's chest.

Guys used to talk to me that way.

Look, first of all you do not look different.

And second, the reason why men paid

so much attention to your breasts is because you did.

You left us no choice.

Well, how else was I supposed to get dates

or get out of speeding tickets?

You really believe your breasts got you those things?

Y‐yes. It's always been that way.

My figure got me elected homecoming queen.

I sent in a picture with my college application.

I know that didn't hurt.

Oh, okay. So it's your breasts

that made you top buyer at the boutique.

It's your breasts that make people come to you for advice

and make you such a good cook

and make you look so good in a bathing suit.

Wait, wait, scratch the last one, come on.

They were part of a package.

When I look in the mirror, I see a different person.

Regine, you are a different person.

You are a beautiful woman who has lost her confidence.

That's what made men flock to you.

Your wit, your poise..

And your ability to make every other woman in the room

feel like she had something hanging out of her nose.

I had it all.

And you still do.

Just one cup size less.

Who told you?

I'm Kyle, baby.

Come on.

You know, you used to be the only person I knew

whose sense of style even came close to mine.

Now look at you. What, what is this?

Yeah, it was kind of weird

not being the best dressed in the cafe tonight.

I mean, even Synclaire in her dorky hat

looked more pulled together.

‐ There you go. ‐ Oh, I'm just getting started.

Khadijah.

What was girlfriend thinking in all that purple?

She looked like Barney's girlfriend.

[laughing]

She's back.

You want a scarf?

I think I'm finished.

Uh, this?

Th‐th‐th‐this, this is nice.

No, it's not.

[giggles] Come here.

[chuckles]

‐ Kyle? ‐ Mm‐hmm?

This really hurts.

‐ Oh, sorry. ‐ It's okay.

[giggling]

(Sheridan) 'Now, I need a top view, so, can you do a little..'

'You know, Marilyn Monroe thing?'

'We need it from the top.'

'Lean from the top. Just bend..'

'Yeah, go, bend down a little bit. Alright, here we go!'

'Okay, now, I need to see the range of motion side.'

'Show me the range of motion.'

'This is going to be very important'

'if you want this done right.'

'Just a little side to side.'

'Okay, now.. Whoa, that's good.'

'Now one more.'

'Just one more. Hands on your hips.'

'Come on, be proud. Here we go.'

(Regine) Woo‐hoo!

[Regine giggles]