Original subtitles

This is the last time that I get up

at 4 o'clock in the morning

to drive all the way to the country to pick apples

that we could've bought at the store.

I had fun. Didn't you, my Manly Mcintosh?

I sure did, my little Granny Smith.

Oh, please, my goodness, they're at it again.

First it was, let's kiss every time we see

a New Jersey license plate.

Then it was hide and go smooch in a apple orchard.

And then... it was let's kiss in the back seat

with Khadijah in the middle.

I thought you were sleeping.

I was prayin', "When are y'all gonna chip a tooth."

Well, it's time to turn this harvest into

apple pie, apple crisp, apple sauce and my favorite

apple brown betty.

But I'm changin' it's name to apple brown Synclaire

'cause it's oh, so very delicious.

Oh..

♪ We are living ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Oh in a 90's kinda of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I've got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up, what, keep your head up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get's tough ♪

♪ You gotta fight with my home girls standing to my left ♪

♪ And my right true blue and tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪

♪ Single ♪

[humming]

Synclaire, what are you doing?

These are seeds from the apple Overton and I ate together.

I'm putting them in my scrap book.

"Synclaire and Overton, the early months."

Here's my favorite memento.

‐ What is it? ‐ A splinter.

I got it the time that Overton first said those

three special words.

"Hold this plywood."

Hey, people. Khadijah, Khadijah mail.

I'm going to take a bath now. Do not disturb. Smooches.

Stop, right there, tiny woman.

No, you did not send me a chain letter.

Ha! She got you, Khadijah.

Ha ha ha. Here's yours.

You letter giving troll.

Well, Regine, chain letters are for superstitious fools.

And I ain't on of 'em.

Khadijah, that's what Darla Wilson from Des Moines said

just before she lost her house, her husband

and her hair.

That's awful.

I know, can you imagine losing your hair.

You're not gonna mail that thing are you?

Okay, check this out, Khadijah, alright.

Bad things come in threes

I've already slept with Kyle and lost my job.

I am not taking any chances that I might sleep with Kyle again.

Well, I'm gonna live dangerously.

Ow! Paper cut.

Mm‐hmm.

Okay, now, can we get back to my scrapbook.

Look, Regine, a picture of me and Obie

at the only hardware store in the Bahamas.

‐ Oh, is that your hotel room? ‐ Uh‐huh.

Mm, single beds, huh?

Must've been a drag having to push 'em together.

Oh, we didn't push 'em together.

Hey, anybody want to make some brownies?

Well, it must've been mighty cramped with you and Overton

in the same little bed.

No.

Okay, national healthcare

now, there's an idea who's time has come.

It‐it wasn't cramped?

Those beds do look a little small. How'd y'all work that?

Overton and I slept in separate beds, okay.

What?

It was a romantic getaway.

You two didn't do anything a little freaky‐sneaky?

[laughs]

Well, okay.

We did steal those little shampoo bottles.

[laughs]

Okay, wait a minute. Are‐are you saying..

Are you saying that you and Overton didn't... do it?

The whole vacation?

Since the vacation?

Overton and I have never done it, okay.

Well, that clears up a lot for me, aye.

‐ You knew, didn't you? ‐ Of course, I knew.

Regine, it's not that big of a deal.

It is to a big deal.

Khadijah had the juice and didn't tell me.

I'm beginning to question our friendship.

I've always questioned our friendship.

I can't believe you and Overton never sang in the key of life.

There's more to a relationship than just sex.

True.

There's bitterness.

There's also romance.

He tells you you're beautiful, you deny it.

He insists, you deny it. He insists with gifts..

And you agree.

Well, I think waiting is a good thing.

Scooter and I waited 20 years.

Oh, please, that's 'cause y'all were just friends first.

How long did you actually wait once y'all started dating?

Look, this is about Synclaire.

Overton and I are waiting until the right time.

And in eight months, it ain't never been the right time?

Synclaire, now..

Don't you have... desires?

Of course, I do.

I'd like to back pack through New Zealand.

‐ And see myself‐‐ ‐ Sexual! Sexual‐ah!

Desires.

Just being with Overton is enough.

See, you tell him, cuz.

Then there are those days

I'm like a time bomb ready to explode.

Yes. Good, now, you're dealing with the real.

Truth is Obie gives me fever.

[laughs]

Then I say, you two get under the covers and sweat it out.

You know, by this time tomorrow Janet and I

will be at the Green Mountain Spa

breathing fresh mountain air, getting sweaty and feeling fit.

You two goin' on one of those nature hikes?

Mm‐hmm, but, uh, we're not leaving the room.

Good. With you outta the house I can finally buff out

the scuff marks made by certain someone trying to moonwalk

across my living room floor.

That dance is dead, Kyle.

Even Michael's moved on.

Overton, man, my leaving

is your cue to romance your woman at home alone.

Look at it, shorty, you proven time and time again

you don't need a empty apartment to have sex.

When Synclaire and I are ready to make that move, we will.

Right now, we're not ready.

I saw you two in the woods today.

Your ready.

Hey, man, but I'm not gonna rush things.

I don't wanna mess up what I have with Synclaire.

Overton, man, getting physical can only enhance a relationship.

I know it always makes me feel better.

You don't get it. See, Synclaire and I are like a fine wine.

We waiting for this relationship to be aged to perfection

and then and only then, will the cork be popped.

So to speak.

Lovely words but, uh, riddle me this handyman.

Why are you sitting here polishing that apple

when you got somebody that can shake your tree?

I see you decided to loosen up your strict dress code.

I'm gettin' off the train, right.

The doors close

catch my skirt and rip it clean off.

Really, what station?

Synclaire, if you're gonna mop

don't you think you should use some water?

Khadijah, I'm not really mopping, I'm thinking.

I've come to a decision about Overton and me.

‐ Well, what is it? ‐ What should I do?

Look, you know what to do.

Yeah, you're right.

What would that be?

Come on, now, look.

You and Overton have been tip toeing around

this subject for months.

I think you should be deciding this with Overton

not with me. Okay.

Regine, thank you for letting me use your name at the spa.

The manager's giving me the best cabin in the place.

‐ Not the El Dorado. ‐ Yep.

And they even throwing in a sea kelp and honey body rub.

For two.

Your date's gonna eat a flea dip after a night with you.

[laughs]

You didn't.

[laughs]

What happened to you?

What? Doesn't anyone watch House of Style?

Her skirt got caught in the train door.

And you wearing that ugly slip?

[laughs]

It's the power of the chain letter.

It is not that chain letter.

You know, you're right, Khadijah.

It's a coincidence that I mailed my chain letter

and found 20 bucks stuck to the side of the mailbox

and you threw yours in the trash and 400 people saw your ass

in the subway.

Oh, hey, Synclaire.

Check this out.

[breathing heavily]

Come to the dark side, Luke.

You've been practicing. Now, I have a surprise for you.

I made this scrapbook of our relationship.

Aw, Synclaire.

You saved our splinter.

[kisses]

‐ Obie, I've been thinking. ‐ Not me.

Maybe we should take our relationship to the next level.

Next level? Uh, could you be more specific?

O‐o‐hh!

Ho‐ho‐ho. Oh, that level?

You, uh, you sure you wanna do this?

Absolutely.

‐ Positively? ‐ Positively.

Oh, we'll set it up in here.

Obie, not now.

Oh, alright.

I want it to be the way we both dreamed about.

Spending the night together.

Waking up in each others arms.

Pretending to smoke cigarettes.

Hey, well, you know, Kyle's goin' outta town tomorrow night.

What do you say?

Wow!

I, God, think you better go now.

One more kiss?

I'm only flesh and blood.

Till tomorrow night.

Man, I'm about to weld like no man has ever welded before.

Oh, come on, Synclaire, you think just 'cause you live here

you can hog the bathroom.

Might have to go home and actually use my own.

What are you doing?

Ah, Synclaire asked me to do this for her scrapbook.

I'm taking the before picture.

You know what?

Someone ought to create a greeting card

for the first time you get with your man, know what I'm saying.

They have cards for every other occasion.

Hey, how about this?

Don't worry it gets better.

Okay, or, alright.

We knew you could do it, we had no doubt.

Now, go to your man and wear him out.

[laughs]

[no audio]

Unbelievable, I'm trying to catch a bus

'cause you know, I ain't goin' nowhere near the subway.

When the damn driver floors it just as I get to the exhaust.

Hm, I played lotto, won 50 bucks.

I'm gonna find that chain letter.

Yoo‐hoo, I'm way ahead of you.

You'll be happy you did this.

I'll be happy when your mother receives this.

Who do you think sent it to me?

Synclaire, look at you.

[camera shutter releases]

So, how you feeling?

Feel pretty good.

Except while I was upstairs shaving my toes..

I started to worry.

I‐I mean, it's been a long time, what if I've forgotten how.

Oh, no, listen, it's like, it's like riding a bicycle

over cobblestones.

You never forget how and it's kinda fun.

We've been looking forward to this for a long time.

After we do it, what will we have to look forward to?

Doing it again.

What if he doesn't like my body?

Girl, Overton hasn't had sex in eight months.

He'll love your body.

[romantic music]

[knocks on door]

[music continues]

'Synclaire!'

‐ For you, baby. ‐ Thank you.

Ow!

Oh, sorry. Won't you come in?

Well, we got champagne, caviar, bite sized snickers.

You've thought of everything.

My mouth is sticking.

Hmm, here, perhaps a little champagne will help.

Here, nothing like a touch of the bubbly.

Hmm.

[burps]

Excuse me.

Well, it's not your fault, it's domestic.

Mm, what's that delightful scent?

[sneezes]

Bless you.

Um, thank you.

[sneezes]

You're allergic to my new perfume.

Oh, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. Watch.

I'm sorry. I'm gonna go wash this off.

Oh, no, you don't have to do that.

[phone rings]

Hello.

Oh, hey, Kyle.

No, Janet didn't call. Thought she was with you.

She went to the wrong spa?

Uh, hell, I think you're better off.

She don't seem too bright to me.

Oh, Synclaire?

Hm, she's in the bathroom scrubbing her neck.

It's a long story.

You want me to stay on the phone or get back to Synclaire?

Well, that's just plain selfish. Bye.

That's it! No more interruptions.

You, uh, mind if I join you?

Well, well, well, well, this is some night, huh?

Yep, and it's just beginning.

It's, uh..

Filled with emotion.

Yeah, I'm getting a little emotional myself.

There's passion.

Oh, yeah, got the passion.

Definitely romance.

Shoobie‐doobie‐doo.

An‐an‐anticipation.

Well, I know I can't wait.

A paralyzing kind of anxiety.

That's not good.

This just doesn't feel right.

I'm sitting here with a wet neck and I'm trying not to burp

and my left molar is filled with bite sized snickers.

Oh, come on, girl, we've been far more clumsier

than we've been tonight.

I mean, what's really wrong?

Obie, I think that everything is going just fine

and then I got this idea somehow that having sex

would make our relationship even better.

But this just doesn't seem to be working.

Maybe we should've did it in the basement.

No, that wasn't the place

and maybe this just isn't the time.

I'm sorry, I really wanted it to be.

Just tonight, just feels too forced.

Hey, well, last thing I want to do is to rush you.

'Cause really, I don't wanna have sex with you.

I wanna make love to you.

Because, uh, I love you, Synclaire.

I love you too.

And you know, waiting, could be very romantic.

‐ Care to dance? ‐ Yes.

♪ I wanna do it with you girl ♪

♪ I wanna do it with you girl‐‐ ♪

♪ Touch me touch me ♪

♪ I wanna feel your body ♪

♪ Your heartbeat‐‐ ♪

♪ 'Cause me so hot me.. ♪

Maybe, maybe I'll just hum a little there.

♪ Shoobie‐doobie‐doo.. ♪

[humming]

Guess what y'all? I sprained my ankle.

And you're happy about that?

Yeah, it happened after I mailed the chain letter.

See, I was right and you're all wrong.

Ain't no such thing as bad luck. Things just‐just happen.

[crash]

(Khadijah) 'I really hurt myself this time.'

Maybe, we should tell her

the chain letter came back unopened.

Listen to her. She's so happy.

(Khadijah) 'God! It hurts when I laugh.'