All language subtitles for Living Single - S02 E08 - Trick or Trust (480p - HULU Web-DL)

Don't you guys just
love Halloween?

Out of all the pagan holidays,
it's the most Christmas‐sy.

Once again, pumpkin
pie, we are in sync

'cause I too love Halloween.

To celebrate the mysterious
and frightening unknown

that lurks within us all.

O‐oh, scary!

Now, would you grow up already?

A bunch of people
dressed up like idiots

go door to door
asking for handouts.

What is that?

You on any given day.

‐ Morning, people. ‐ 'Hey.'

Do you have any java?

I am nothin' without my
first cup of coffee.

Yeah, well, you're
nothing with it.

Max, Max, perhaps, you should go
as a lady this Halloween, huh?

Check it out, ya'll.

The dumb waiter is now
fully operational.

‐ Oh, good. ‐ Yes. Okay.

Hmm, that's strange.

'Must be a short in the wiring.'

[screaming]

That was good, man.
That was real good.

‐ I knew it was a joke. ‐ I
think I swallowed my gum.

♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ooh and in a
'90s kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪

♪ You gotta fight with ♪

♪ My homegirls
standing to my left ♪

♪ And my right ♪
♪ True blue ♪

♪ It's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪

♪ Do what you want no
free position girl ♪

♪ Ha ♪

[instrumental music]

[chuckles]

I don't know why you guys
go through such a fuss?

Not once has a trick‐or‐treater
ever knock on our door.

Oh, ye of little faith.

And height.

Could someone grab a broom and
clear out the old cobwebs

so I could put up the
fake scary ones?

Don't look at me. I got
a deadline to meet.

Maxine?

Oh, come on, look, I told
you not to involve me

in your stupid
Halloween crap, okay?

I eat treat every day, and
no trick can scare me.

‐ No trick? ‐ None.

Now, hand me that candy
bag right over there.

No, we got nothing, but
healthy snacks in this one.

We got shredded wheat cookie.
Oat muffin.

And for the kid in all
of us, fiber bars.

Just what every eight year old
looks forward to on Halloween.

Regularity.

Muffins and fiber bars?

Let me go get some milk.

I know there's got to
be something we can do

to get Max to the
Halloween spirit.

I say we scare the
bejesus out of her.

Yeah! What is bejesus?

I'll tell you later.

But for now, here's
what we're gonna do.

[whispering]

[evil laughter]

‐ What's the word, Obie? ‐
Uh, oat muffin, my brother?

‐ No.. ‐ Yeah..

Khadijah, you ready to go
to the listening party?

Party?

I'm sorry, baby. I‐I got
to finish this article.

This is the second time you
canceled on me this week.

I‐I.. But you are going with
me to the Halogen Records

Halloween party
tomorrow night, right?

I want to, but I can't.

Look, I know you're busy,
but it's important to me

that you come.

I'll do the toe thing.

Okay.

That's what I thought.

And hey, everyone, if
you don't have plans

why don't you come along?
It is gonna be the bomb.

[chuckles] Sure, you know, you
don't have to ask me twice.

Record execs and
celebrities, I'm there.

And that toe thing
won't be necessary.

Yeah, well, count me out.
I hate Halloween parties.

When I was seven, I went to one.

Bunch of mean kids brought
me to a graveyard

tied me to a tombstone,
and left me there to rot.

Oh, that's terrible.
What happened?

Oh, kid tied at the crypt
next to me worked me free

with his teeth.

[knocking on door]

Max, could you get
that for me, please?

Right axe, wrong head.

I told you, man, she's
only afraid of garlic

holy water and direct sunlight.

Come on, Khadijah,
we're gonna be late.

Hey, Obie, look, it's Cher.

I'm Cleopatra, you nut.

Sorry, I didn't know they
had polyester on the Nile.

No time for
pleasantries, Synclaire

we got to get this
plan in motion.

What you guys up to?

In the effort to get Max
in to the Halloween spirit

we paid a visit to the best
novelty shop in the city.

The Screamatorium.

Unfortunately, we couldn't get
the one gag we really wanted.

Yeah, it turns out you need
a permit for explosives.

Regine!

This is the first
and the last time

I'll let you go to the
costume store without me.

Little Bo Peep? I'm saying.

What? They told me it
was Patti LaBelle.

Well, it's too late
to change it now.

Look, Scooter needs us
to stop by his house

and pick up a parrot.

Don't ask.

‐ How are we supposed to get in?
‐ I have a key.

Hmm. He must really trust you.

That's why I'm leaving
you in the car.

I thought I told you
to stay in the car.

Dressed like this?

But how'd you get past
the security guard?

Dressed like this.

Let me find his bird so we
can raise up out of here.

Look, don't touch anything.

"Tito Jackson unplugged."

Nice, Scooter!

[music on player]

'Regine, I told you to sit
your Egyptian ass down.'

[telephone ringing]

What are you doing?

(parrot) What are you doing?
What are you doing?

Oh, it talks.

(parrot) Oh, it talks.
Oh, it talks.

Shut up! Who cares, man.

Scooter's getting a fax,
and, and, and if it's urgent

and he misses it, you'll
never forgive yourself.

Regine, I don't like looking
through Scooter's stuff.

Not through, at!

You need to peek this, bo.

Well, you, you, you kill
me being that nosy.

"Dear, Scooter, thanks
for last night.

"I'll never forget it.

See you tonight. Love, Y."

Mm.

So?

So?

Khadijah, you've got to
read between the lines.

[seductive] "Dear, Scooter."

That means love slave.

"I had a wonderful
time last night.

[gasps] I'll never forget it."

Translation, you've got the
stamina of a Greek God.

You need help.

Look, just because some
woman sends Scooter a fax

doesn't mean he's
cheating on me.

It doesn't!

I have to go to the bathroom.

My bloomers are
starting to creep me.

Okay, well, you know,
look, he's my friend too

and I don't want to
believe it either

but, uh, if you want me to
ignore it, hey, I will.

You know me, girl. I
am not one to butt in.

Look what I found under the
sink next to the roach motel.

Belongs to a woman in
her mid to late 20s.

[gasps]

‐ Approximately a 135 pounds.
‐ What?

Judging from the
length of the chain

she's about five
feet, seven inches.

He's a dead man.

(parrot) Dead man! Dead man!

Wow, Cleopatra.

Queen of the Nile.

[laughs]

Khadijah, what a great costume.

‐ Do you have my bird? ‐ Oh,
I got your bird, alright.

Ooh, you really told him with
the bird line, Khadijah.

‐ Regine, this is not the place.
‐ Fine.

Come on, ladies, let's win
this costume contest.

‐ Hey, Mel. ‐ Yes.

Why isn't anybody in costume?

We're donating the money we
were to spend on costumes

to a children's charity.
Didn't you get my message?

Oh, listen, if you
feel uncomfortable

you don't have to stay.

Oh, no, no, no. We
wouldn't dream of leaving.

Yeah, we want to meet
all your friends.

Alright, girl, Ms. Fax has got
to be up in here somewhere.

I'm gonna go sniff her out.

‐ Hey. Hey, ladies. ‐ Hi.

Khadijah, this is Jennifer,
Chelsea and Tammy.

This is my girlfriend, Khadijah.

Terrence, you didn't tell
us you had a girlfriend.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

In fact, they've known each
other since they were babies.

Yes, their, their mothers
even bathed them together.

[sniffing]

So, I guess nobody told you guys
about the costume thing, huh?

[both laughing]

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I must say, Terrence, you
make a very handsome pirate.

Thank you. You're looking
very lovely yourself.

‐ Thank you. ‐ Alright.

[chuckles] Nice meeting you all.

Excuse me, can I talk to you
for a minute, Terrence?

I hate to drag you away
from your little fan club

but am I interrupting
your flirting?

Flirting?

"I must say, Terrence, you
make a very handsome pirate."

"You're looking very
lovely yourself."

‐ Please. ‐ That was
just small talk.

Okay, so, how come no one
knows you have a girlfriend?

Everybody at Flavor
knows you're my man.

That's 'cause I visit you there.
You've never been to my office.

Well, in fact, where is
my office, Khadijah?

Your office is..

Somewhere in Manhattan.

Now, you just make
sure everybody knows

that I'm your girlfriend.

Excuse me.

Okay, I found 12 women
who smell like this.

So I gotta narrow it down.

Look, Regine, just give it a rest.
I'm not even in the mood.

No, no, no, no,
girl, now come on.

All I gotta do is just
get some writing samples

and then match it to the fax.

Here's a pen.

Yes, I'mma work, I'mma work it.

I don't understand it.

Between the flashin'
pumpkin light

and the pop‐lockin' skeleton

you figured that
the little tykes

would be beatin' our
door down by now.

Well, look at the bright side.

You can always use these
pumpkin cookies as coasters.

What kinda society is it
where little fresh‐faced kid

can't paint
themselves with blood

and wander through the streets?

It's just a shame.

Hey, Max, why don't you have
some of our Halloween trail mix?

[Synclaire screaming]

A rubber cockroach.

Better keep him off
the plastic fruit.

Dang! What does it take
to scare you, girl?

[Max screaming]

What are you doing here, Satan?

Just checking on some
of my best work.

And what are you two
supposed to be?

Eh, well, you see, I wanted
to go as Bonnie and Clyde

and she wanted to go as
the bride of Frankenstein

and Frankenstein, so..

So, we're the bride of
Frankenstein and Clyde.

‐ Thought you had a date, man.
‐ Oh, it's not until midnight.

Oh, that's when today
turns into tomorrow

and you are unemployed for
yet another day. Uh‐hoo.

Can I offer someone some punch?
Uh, Max?

Mmm, thanks.

[screaming]

Alright, who lost their eye?

Got to hand it to you, Max.

You tougher than
tool belt leather.

Oh, hit that.

[screaming]

Damn!

Give it a rest, Overton.
Look at her.

We should be scared.

[doorbell ringing]

Synclaire, the
trick‐or‐treaters are here.

The trick‐or‐treaters are here!

Will you get the door? I got the treats.
Go, go, go!

Go, go, go, open, open, open.
Go.

(all) Trick or treat!

Come on in, kids.

[all screaming]

[instrumental music]

Hey, I want you to meet
Khadijah, my girlfriend.

Hey, Jeanine, I'm just dancing
with my girlfriend, Khadijah

over here.

Hey, you! Girlfriend!
Mine! Dancing!

Scooter, you made your point.

No, I just want to
let everyone know

that the babe in the
bloomers is my girl.

(parrot) My girl! My girl!

I guess you just missed the
funnyman tonight, huh?

Excuse me? Terrence, I have
been lookin' for you all night.

Now we really need to get together.
When can I call you?

Well, why don't
you just fax him?

Pardon me?

I'm sure she has
your fax number.

Everyone has your fax number.
Give her the fax number.

Who are you?

(all) Khadijah. His girlfriend.

She better recognize.

Come here.

Alright, what is up with you?

‐ Don't you work with any men? ‐
What's that supposed to mean?

‐ What's‐‐ ‐ Yo, yo, yo!

Are ya'll talkin' about the fax?

What's with the faxing?

Exhibit A. Can you explain this?

Regine, I'll handle
it from here.

Oh, okay. It's like that? Okay.

But I just want you to know

this is the last
time I dressed up

like Cleopatra and sniffed
strangers for you.

Well, Terrence, can
you explain this fax?

I had dinner with
one of our artists.

Who just had to send you
a little love note?

Ooh, I'm sorry, I forgot
to tell her after dinner.

"Whatever you do, don't fax me."

Do you see amusement on my face?

Look, I'm good company.

If you weren't so busy all
the time, you'd know that.

I've been busy with work.

I don't know what the hell
you've been busy with.

Not exactly your scent.

That's a promotional item
for our new group, Jasmine.

Now, I was gonna give it to you

but it smells like
funky corn chips.

You expect me to believe that?

[laughs] You don't
have to believe that.

There's a whole banner
right behind you.

[scoffs]

Oh.

And what were you doing
going through my apartment?

Look, that's not the issue.

‐ Then what is? ‐ 'Uh‐‐'

Khadijah, you don't trust me.

Now why would I give you
keys to my apartment

if I was gonna have other
women going through there?

Because that's what you would
be expectin' me to expect you

to be expectin' of me.

Well, look, with the fax and all
these, the perfume and the women

and Regine buzzin'
all up in my ear

wh‐what was I supposed to think?

Khadijah, you shouldn't have to
think about it. You should know.

You are all the woman I need.

For you to say
somethin' like that

with me lookin' like this.

That's the sweetest
thing I've ever heard.

‐ Let's get out of here. ‐
I'll race you to the car.

Loser towel dries the
winner for a week.

Khadijah, one more thing.

Will you wear the
bonnet tonight?

This Halloween has
been one big bust.

Didn't scare Max. Linus missed
the Great Pumpkin again.

And we're stuck with
all these treats.

Well, candy‐corn, if you
hadn't scared the kids away

maybe they would've
gotten some treats.

Perhaps, funnel cake.

But if we had went to
the Halloween parade

like I suggested, maybe we both
might have had a good time, huh?

Maybe, nut cluster, but we
both decided to stay home

and treat the children.

Oh, corn‐tray, cinnamon crisp..

For it was your idea to
serve the whack snacks.

Those were your idea.

So they were.

I'm sorry.

But let's not waste what little
time we have left on Halloween

so, let's have some fun.
Where's the sunshine, hon?

He he, say please.

Oh, brother.

I got to agree with
you on that one, Max.

‐ I got you now. ‐ Oh, oh, oh!

‐ Bring out the sunshine.
‐ Oh, oh, no, you don't!

‐ Come on. ‐ No, you don't!
No, you don't!

(Synclaire) No, no, no!
No, no, no!

(Synclaire) 'Oh, oh,
I got you now.'

'Oh, Obie, look out!'

'Obie!'

Oh, my God!

Obie, Obie, are you okay?

He's in shock.
Synclaire, call 911.

Max, get me a blanket
and a pillow.

Blanket and a pillow.
Blanket and a pillow.

‐ Now! ‐ I'm getting it!
I'm gettin it!

Okay. Okay, the ambulance
is on the way.

Blanket and a pillow.
Blanket and a pillow.

Alright, what do
you want me to do?

Come on, man, what do
you want me to do?

I want you to represent me,
'cause I'm gonna sue somebody.

[laughing]

[screaming]

Yes!

I oughta whup your ass.

You should've seen the
look on your face.

You got a butt‐kicking
comin' too.

Ooh, you gonna beat me too, Max?

[laughing]

I only wish that Khadijah
and Regine had been here

to see this.

They'll get a chance to see
it, over and over again

'cause you're on Obie camera.
Gotcha!

[Synclaire laughing]

[all laughing]

Aren't you guys tired
of watching that?

Oh, no. The night is young.

(Kyle) 'He's in shock.
Synclaire, call 911.'

'Max, get me a blanket
and a pillow.'

‐ 'Blanket and a pillow.'
‐ Blanket and a pillow.

Blanket and a pillow.

I love the way Max runs. Oh.

Oh, Obie, here comes your part again.
Go, go, go.

'I'm gonna need you
to represent me'

'cause I'm gonna sue somebody.'

Yeah.

(Synclaire) 'Rewind it.
Rewind it.'

‐ 'Rewind it..' ‐ Nope. Nope.

Nope, that's it.

Admit it, Max, Obie almost
scared you to death.

No, Regine, you're wrong.
He did scare me to death.

(Regine) Woo‐hoo.

[Regine chuckles]