Original subtitles

No, this is my first time online.

Who have you met so far?

No good makin' that up.

Synclaire, if you're gonna answer those voices in your head

don't do it out loud.

Khadijah, did you know we could use Flavor's computer

to go online and chat with people from across the country?

Synclaire, did you know there's an unemployment line

where you can chat with out of work people

from across the city?

Now, where's that letter I asked you to type?

Be right back.

D‐e‐ar, s‐s‐ir.

How is it that you could type so fast with that computer

but you can't do anything with that?

Baffling, isn't it?

[Queen Latifa singing "Living Single"]

♪ We are living single ♪

♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girl standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue, we tight like glue ♪

♪ Check, check, check it out check, check, check it out ♪

♪ What you want? No free position ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

Khadijah James.

Please don't let that be Denise Hatcher.

Damn. It's Denise Hatcher.

So who's your friend?

Remember that city all‐star team I played on in high school.

Denise was on it too.

Must have been some clerical error.

Hm, it was the 11 best basketball players in the city.

And Khadijah.

So this is like a reunion.

Why are you here?

Page 48 of your so called magazine.

"But the nail in the coffin of Brooklyn Hues Lady BlueKnights

"is their hotheaded coach, Denise Hatcher

whose leadership will land the team in last place."

I don't make these predictions, my sportswriter does.

And she based it on your team's record.

Nothing personal.

It's always been personal with you, Khadijah.

Even in high school, whenever our teams met

you were always trying to prove you were my equal.

[laughing]

I think I proved that one when I won the all‐star MVP trophy.

Ooh, good one.

You know, if I were you, I wouldn't brag about that trophy.

As hard as you cheated to get it.

Please. You tried to steal my pass when I was about

to make the game‐winning basket.

Oh, I tried to steal your pass?

Did I stutter?

Look, Denise, you always been a sore loser

and you'll always be second best to Khadijah "All‐Chain" James.

Kink‐kink.

Why don't we play a little one on one to see

if I can handle your game. Small Chain.

Winner takes home that MVP trophy... you stole.

Oh, Nise, I don't have time to entertain ridiculous challenges

from old rivals who need their ego stroked.

I'm a busy woman.

Yes, yes, I can see you've been very busy workin' out.

When and where?

I'll reserve the old gym for Sunday at three.

Bam!

See you, Sunday.

[chuckling]

Bam.

And you can order your airline tickets... just like that.

Oh, my. Now, Kyle, your online name is Chocolate Thunder.

Well, Chocolate Lover and Chocolate Desire

were already taken.

I'm sure Simple Simon was free.

So is Yaking Unemployed Shrew, care to log on.

Didn't think so.

Anyway, Synclaire

say I want today's stock market report.

First, I access prodigious business forum

then I access the stock market forum

I press this this this and then... voila.

‐ Today's stock market report. ‐ Yes.

Or you could just turn to the financial section.

And voila.

Hey, what is wrong with the phone?

It's hooked up to the computer there.

Thanks to chocolate blunder.

Kyle, I've been calling here for the last five minutes.

If I hadn't run into Scooter, I would've to lug those bags

all the way here from the corner.

She was hailing a cab when I saw her.

Whoa! Hey, babe.

Mwah!

Did you find the trophy?

No, it's somewhere in one of these closets.

I thought you said the trophy was your treasured keepsake.

That's why I keep it tucked away and wrapped up in a sock.

Look, the point is, Denise and I have been playing ball

against each other since 9th grade.

From the start she thought she was like God's gift to the game.

Well, I'm here to tell you she's not.

Calls herself a finesse player.

Big mess player is what I call her.

So I take it there's no love lost.

Well, see things got kinda ugly when Khadijah and Denise

were put on the same all‐star team together.

Remember, Scooter? Okay, the team was down by a point, right.

And Denise and Khadijah were under the basket right near me

in my killer cheerleader outfit with a midriff sweater.

‐ And the killer skirt with‐‐ ‐ Ahem. Ahem.

Okay, anyway, uh, Becky Johnson, tiny Becky Johnson throws up

an alley‐oop and Khadijah and Denise both go for it.

Yeah, you're right. That's when you stepped on her foot.

I did not step on her foot, she stepped in front of my pass.

Yeah, that‐that's right. I'm sorry.

I mean she stepped in front of your pass

and... wedged a foot underneath yours.

[ball dribbling]

(Denise) 'Yo, Small Chain.'

Is that Denise?

[ball dribbling]

She's outside, dribbling.

(Denise) 'Hope you raise up to the game, Khadijah.'

'And not just that stupid look on your face.'

I'm gonna bring this, so you could look at it

before I put it back in my display case.

(Denise) 'Incoming.'

"Warning, this is a basketball

"in the wrong hands it becomes..

A brick."

All this taunting and name calling.

Two people and no religion

except for winning, winning, winning.

God, I miss the courtroom.

Alright, babes, you got it. Come on. Come on. You got it.

‐ Unh! ‐ Oh!

Yeah!

You blocked three shots in a row. My girl has game.

[panting] Well, now that I got you all warmed up, I can play for real.

Thanks for going easy on me, Obie.

Oh, I think you left yo‐your long over there, man.

You know, I've never been more ready for anything in my life.

I'm gonna win.

Heads up.

[grunts]

[crying] I'm gonna lose.

I'm telling you man, it was like the girl had wings.

Denise bounced the ball off the backboard

got her own rebound, somewhere like, oh, let's just say here.

Right and..

Of course, a light fixture here wouldn't really make much sense.

Now will it?

Nice try, Overton, but I think

Denise jumped a little higher than that.

It's like she can see straight through to your soul.

The girl was unbelievable. Like this..

So I said, "Look how short I'm."

I can't reach all the way up there."

Alright, I called Overton just to see how practice went.

And it ain't too late for you to fake an injury.

Fake an injury? Please. That's weak.

Khadijah, as soon as the ball is tossed up

just give that girl elbow to the jaw.

Oh, Max, please, later for your pillow talk, huh.

Ack. Ew.

Look, you are all wasting your breath 'cause I'm not playing.

What?

Khadijah, you're not thinkin' about quittin'?

I ain't thinkin' about it, I'm committed to the idea.

Khadijah, that is just stinkin' thinkin'.

I want you to lift your chin and win.

Yeah, I gotta agree with my little Maya Angelou here.

‐ Come on, girl. You can't quit. ‐ Please, can and should.

You need to put this petty sandbox feud behind.

For my favorite girl, on and off the court.

‐ Thank you, ba‐‐. ‐ She doesn't deserve these.

‐ She's quittin'. ‐ Give me my flowers.

What's this about you backin' out?

Well, Scoot, she's afraid she's gonna get waxed

just 'cause she's goin' up against

the female Michael Jordan.

And I can't really argue with that.

Oh, Khadijah, come on, you're a young black woman

with a college degree, running your own business.

You dismiss the odds every day.

Now, this game is no different.

You really think I can win?

Well, my granddaddy used to say there are no longshots.

Odds are always 50‐50, either you win or you don't.

Wait‐wait. Isn't this the same granddaddy

who used to always lose his tax refund plan in numbers.

Not always, Kyle.

Grandpa Wakefield may have been a dreamer, but he paid off once.

And I'd expect you to remember

since you were the direct beneficiary of said winnings.

What are you talking about, Overton?

Well, I'll tell you.

You remember the time you mama locked her beer room

so you couldn't go to her purse to steal ice cream money

and I bought you that bon pop.

Well, that 10 cents was courtesy of Grandpa Wakefield.

The dreamer.

Okay, anyway, Khadijah

if you beat Denise you can hold it over her head

for the rest of your life.

Much the same way that I would never let Kyle forget

that he stole money from his mama's purse.

I was five.

It'd be kinda nice to shut her up once and for all.

Get her to admit that I earned that trophy.

To laugh in the face of that no‐coachin' flagpole.

Alright, Khadijah, first you're playin' then you're not playin'

I've invited all my online computer friends.

Is there gonna be a game or not?

You tell 'em to come 'cause I'm playin'.

Yeah! Alright! Alright! Yes!

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

Oh, yeah! Alright, um‐hm.

‐ Big turnout. ‐ Yeah.

Yeah, those are my online friends I've been chatting with.

Now that we're here, we've got nothing to say to each other.

‐ Aren't you Branford Marsalis? ‐ Yeah.

‐ I'm with the online group. ‐ Me too.

Really? Well, my handle is Buckshot LeFonque.

‐ Buckshot LeFonque. ‐ That's it.

My handle is Synclaire James.

‐ Really? What's your real name? ‐ Synclaire James.

Branford Marsalis, Kyle Barker, fan. Where's Wayne?

He's right behind me in the jazz section at any record store.

Denise Hatcher.

Do I know you?

Regine, Regine Hunter. Oh, you remember.

Your boyfriend dumped you so he could take me to your prom.

But what you probably don't know is that I stood him up anyway.

Enjoy the game.

[whistles]

(Scooter) 'Alright, alright, alright.'

'Yeah.'

[audience cheering and applauding]

Alright, this is 15 minutes one‐on‐one basketball.

'Winner takes that trophy. Good luck to you.'

(Scooter) 'Come on. Come on.'

(all) Go Khadijah. Go Khadijah. Go Khadijah.

(all) Oh, Khadijah. Oh, Khadijah.

Alright. Get back. Come on.

[indistinct chatter]

That's alright. That's alright, baby. That's alright. Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

[indistinct chatter]

This is it, baby. Wear it out. Come on. You got it.

Ah, Scooter, you got to just give it up, give it up.

Time out.

[whistles]

[all cheering]

Yes! Yes. Alright.

Look here, Khadijah.

I can't think of a single thing to say.

I've been watching, your girl, Denise

she can't dribble to her left.

Now, you force her to the left, game is yours.

Okay. To the left.

Wait a minute, you're gonna need some more help than that.

Come on y'all, let's pray.

Lord, please give Khadijah some skills.

For she humiliate not only herself but those who love her

and are seen daily in public with her. Amen.

(all) Amen.

Hey, remember, she can't go to her left.

Okay, left.

[referee whistles]

[audience cheering and applauding]

‐ 'That's right.' ‐ You ready?

[indistinct chatter]

Ha!

Ah!

[audience cheering and applauding]

Aah!

[indistinct chatter]

[all exclaiming]

[indistinct chatter]

[referee whistles]

[indistinct chatter]

Yes!

Look, Khadijah, why don't we just call it a day?

[panting] You're... you're ready to forfeit?

I'm trying to do you a favor, you can barely stand up.

Look, Denise, I will play you on one leg if I have to.

See, basketball is your life and I haven't played in years.

So the way I see it, if I score one basket.

I'll leave here with my self‐respect.

Hmm, well, guess I'm gonna have to take the trophy

and that too.

It's shut out time.

Well, if you think that you could swing it then bring it.

Huh.

[audience cheering and applauding]

[indistinct chatter]

Uh‐uh. Uh‐uh.

[audience cheering]

[Kyle barking]

[all cheering]

[Kyle barking]

[no audio]

[Kyle barking]

See ya.

You know what, you can block as many shots as you want

you still don't have any points.

You know, Denise, you shouldn't dribble it..

[audience cheering]

[instrumental music]

[buzzer buzzes]

[all cheering]

I knew you could do it. I knew you could do it.

‐ I knew you could do it. ‐ You knew I could do what?

Lose technically, but win spiritually.

So, uh, Kadijah.

Hand it over, come.

Go ahead, take it. But it still has my name on it.

Hmm. Not anymore.

Bam!

But you know what, Khadijah.

You showed a lot of heart out there.

You get much respect.

Alright, so admit it.

I earned that trophy in high school.

To be honest, I wedged my foot under yours

and you still made the shot.

And you deserve to be the MVP.

Hear that? No need to dwell in the past.

I'll just write about it in my next issue of Flavor.

[scoffs] Well, if you do

uh, make sure you print a picture of me holding this.

I'll get my cartoonist on it right away.

Come on, y'all. Let's celebrate.

Yeah!

[indistinct chatter]

Ooh, ooh. Ooh! Oh.

I'm comin', baby.

[whimpering] It hurts.

Ah! Yeah!

Mwah!

Hey!

Bring the ladder back!

Help!

Whoo‐hoo!

♪ Ahhh ♪