Original subtitles

Don't even put your booty print in the chair.

I'm ready to go home.

Well, that's fine with me.

Let's go by your place and get you some clothes.

Alonzo, I can't stay over again tonight. I got work to do.

Well, I got some papers to grade.

You can get some work done at my place.

Now, you know that's a lie.

[laughs] You can't blame a man for trying.

Besides, you know I don't sleep well without you.

I gotta pile all the pillows up on one side of bed

and pretend they're snoring.

[snoring]

I do not snore.

That's that train going through your loft every night.

Oh.

Well, you know, I had something special

planned for tonight.

This is for you.

Keys?

It's to my apartment.

Khadijah, I want you to move in with me.

♪ Check check check it out check check check it out ♪

♪ Do what you want no free position ♪

♪ We are living single ♪ ♪ Ooh hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living the single life yeah ♪

♪ We are living single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ooh and in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪

♪ You got to fight with ♪

♪ My homegirls standing to my left ♪

♪ And my right ♪ ♪ True blue ♪

♪ And tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Check check check it out ♪ ♪ Single ♪

♪ Do what you want no free position ♪

♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Ha ♪

[grunting]

Hey, buddy, you want some help taking that outside to the curb?

Uh, wrong direction, shorty.

I just rescued this abandoned gem.

Yeah. They don't make them like this anymore.

Because it's big, it's ugly, and it scares small children.

Oh, don't be so siddity.

Look here. Give me a hand with this chair, dude.

Overton..

You are not, I repeat, not

taking that domestic casualty upstairs into our apartment.

Don't make me choose between you and this chair.

Oh, that's nifty.

Oh, yeah, good‐looking chair. Oh, yeah.

Now, I'm sorry I didn't get the matching love seat.

So, Max, you still working on that stuff for Sheila Kelly?

Mm‐hmm. Got a meeting with her tomorrow.

Oh, man, I love her show, and the way she closes it.

"Remember, I'm Sheila

and you're not as strange as you think."

[laughs]

That comforts me somehow. I don't know.

Hey, girl, what you doing for Sheila Kelly?

What, you suing one of them tabloid rags?

Or are you putting together one of them

spicy little prenuptials?

Nah. They save the good stuff for the partners.

I'm doing the wedding contracts.

You know, the photographer, the florist, the swan wrangler.

Stop it. I‐I did not. I did not.

[laughs]

Alright, maybe once.

[chuckles]

No, go ahead, take the other line.

I'll talk to you soon.

[laughs]

You are always on that phone giggling with Alonzo.

Yes, I am. But that was Scooter.

Ooh, he sure has been calling here a lot lately.

Lately?

Ever since he and Khadijah got together that night.

Scooter's nose has been wide open.

Calls from LA, telegrams

letters that say, "Khadijah, I need ya."

Well, I bet Scooter was heartbroken

when you told him about Alonzo, huh?

Hmm.

You didn't tell him?

Well, Scooter and I are just friends.

I've known him all my life.

Besides, he didn't ask me.

There you go. Keep your options open.

Actually, I'm thinking about doing just the opposite.

Alonzo asked me to move in with him.

[gasps]

‐ Ooh.. ‐ Wha‐a‐at?

I mean, I didn't say yes, but I'm thinking about it.

As well you should.

Sure, there's no beautiful white dress and no big cake

and God doesn't recognize it, but still.

[instrumental music]

Amazing. The woman is 45 minutes late.

Counselor, Sheila Kelly is our biggest client

and if we can wait here at $300 an hour

then you can certainly wait at a 125.

Sheila's probably having fat sucked out

of some part of her body.

[chuckles]

'Sheila!'

Don't you look great?

Thanks to Jenny Craig and a great tailor.

[laughs] Ooh, thank you.

Now, Maxine Shaw is one of our brightest young attorney.

She'll be helping you with those wedding contracts.

Doesn't she just look great?

Oh, stop it.

Ta‐ta.

So good to see a woman on the job.

It's good to be one.

[both laugh]

Okay, Ms. Kelly, I just need you to initial a few items.

This is for the reception hall beverage service.

[gasps] Max, let me show you the fabric to my gown, feel it.

Doesn't it make you wanna rush out and great married?

‐ Nice. ‐ 'Oh, thank you.'

Oh, Ms. Kelly, the notes from your prenuptial agreement

seem to be missing from the file.

We don't have a prenuptial.

You don't?

No one brought it up to us. There's no need.

Sheldon and I are very close, very simpatico.

I trust him completely.

Oh.

If I had a dollar for every woman

that stood in this room and said that..

Let's pick a scenario, any scenario.

Say you two are living your life, okay?

You're loving him more than, what, peanut butter.

‐ Ooh! That's nice.? ‐ Okay?

And then one morning

he just packs his raggedy old duffel bag and leaves.

No note. No nothing. He's just gone.

Well, Max, a piece of paper can't stop him from leaving.

No, of course not

but it can mean you won't have to pay him $10,000 a week

for the rest of your life.

Well, he knows he's coming in this with nothing

more than his good looks, youth and a washboard stomach.

[laughs]

Few years living in a mansion

can make a person flabby and forgetful.

‐ Ah. W‐would he have a case? ‐ Doesn't matter.

Legal fees and negative publicity alone

could cost you millions.

Well, I have worked too damn hard

to let something like that happen.

I am going to talk to Sheldon.

Thank you, girlfriend.

[both laugh]

Can you believe he brought this hideous thing up here?

[scoffs] I wish I could just get rid of it.

Well, you know, Kyle, accidents do happen.

Throw some raw steaks on this bad boy

let your dog tear it up.

[laughs]

‐ Oops. ‐ 'Oops.'

[mumbling]

‐ Hey, roommate, neighbor. ‐ 'Hey.'

Man's best friend.

[humming]

Overton, what are you doing?

Polishing up this diamond in the rough.

Going to make it heat up

massage, play music, the works.

Now pass me that acetylene torch right quick.

Stop the madness, Overton. The chair is a piece of junk.

Just 'cause it's not your taste, don't make it junk.

Besides, everything in this apartment says Kyle.

Kyle's couch, Kyle's albums, Kyle's semi‐erotic literature.

I just want one thing in this place that says..

Overton.

Get a parrot.

Has anyone seen Khadijah?

No. Unh‐unh.

Just when the chair had established itself

as the ugliest thing in the room, voila!

Snipe away. I'm not in the mood today, Kyle.

‐ What? ‐ Don't have it in me.

‐ Girl, you alright? ‐ No.

I try to do my job, but does anybody appreciate it? Unh‐unh.

Well, what's wrong, girl? What happened?

I advised Sheila Kelly about a prenuptial agreement.

When she brought it up to her fiance

he broke off the engagement. Now she's blaming me.

You made her lose Sheldon? Fine as he is?

I'd sue you.

Max, it sounds like you were just doing your job.

Not according to the partners.

They've called a meeting to discuss my conduct.

That's code for don't order extra business cards.

Oh, come on, Max, it will all work out.

You did the right thing.

‐ I did? ‐ Of course.

I mean, a woman as wealthy and eligible as Sheila is

needs to protect herself.

Because you never know somebody until you live with them.

And even then, there's always something new.

♪ So high ♪

♪ You can't get over it ♪

♪ So low you can't get under it ♪

♪ So high you can't get over it ♪

♪ So high you can't.. ♪

Oh, Khadijah, I have a feeling it's for you.

Another gift from Alonzo?

"I can't bear living without you. Love, Alonzo."

Could you sign here?

You look a lot like that

running back for the Rams..

Jerome Bettis.

You kind of remind me of Queen Latifah.

Oh, please. Stop looking for tips.

Well, I better give him an answer

before he sends his class over again

to sing "Froggy went a courtin'."

I don't know about you

but Alonzo's winning big points with me.

Yeah, he is making it awfully hard to say no.

Oh, look, Khadijah, more flowers.

Baby, I'm back!

Scooter!

Hey.

Surprised to see me, huh?

Oh, yeah.

What, what are you doing here?

That's what I kept asking myself in LA.

‐ Really? ‐ Yeah.

Listen, I got a job interview.

If it works out, I'll be back in New York.

Ooh! New York! That's here! Oh!

But the job isn't really why I want to come back.

You know what I'm saying?

I think so.

Mm! Look at you, making me late for my interview.

Call you later?

[telephone ringing]

Okay.

Please hold.

Khadijah, that's Alonzo on the phone.

He wants to know if you got the bear.

Girl, it's raining men. Woo‐hoo!

Counselor, because of your unsolicited advice

regarding prenuptial agreements.

Ms. Kelly has suffered a great personal loss.

I'm sorry.

Sorry?

Do you know how long I've waited for a man like Sheldon?

Do you know how old I am? Doesn't matter.

I can understand that you're upset, but‐‐.

Upset? Aren't you listening to me?

Okay.

I wanted to get married!

As long as she's here..

I can't work with you.

You just don't know how old I am. It doesn't matter.

Whoo! Showbiz types.

Okay.

Maybe I wasn't authorized to give her that advice, but..

She needed to know.

Evans and Bell decides what our clients need to know.

That's why our names are on the door.

And yours is on a nameplate that's removable.

I think I can see where this is going.

But before we get there, let me just say

'our clients trust us to keep them fully advised.'

Anything less would be negligent.

And with all due respect, you're not mad at me

because you think I gave Sheila Kelly bad advice.

You're mad at me because I was doing the job you should have.

Now..

Go ahead and fire me.

Oh, no, no, no.

You're too sharp an attorney for us to just let you go.

So, go ahead and give me a raise?

Maxine, we'd like you to take some time off

effective immediately.

You're suspending me?

No. Let's just call it an extended... vacation.

You sure you don't want to give me a raise?

Damn.

Hey.

Hey, Khadijah, you moving out? 'Cause I might need a room.

Oh, what happened?

I came home and found Sanford attacking my chair.

And the upholstery smells suspiciously like steak sauce.

Accidents happen.

Oops.

Yeah.

I just told Kyle the apartment wasn't big enough

for the both of us, and I decided to leave.

You gonna be alright?

Yeah. I just need to be alone for a while.

Synclaire, are you free?

Yes, and I have just the tonic for you.

We're going to go to the '70s.

Avant‐garde film symposium in the village.

Shaft's big score, "Dolemite." One, two and three.

And Truck Turner, the director's cut. Let's go.

Oh... that will keep us out all night.

[knocking on door]

Hey, where y'all going?

We're going to the '70s film festival.

Can you dig it?

Hey, baby, you all packed, huh?

Uh, why don't I get us something to eat?

You seem a little hungry.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

‐ How you doing, Regine? ‐ Oh!

Oh! I'm good. I'm fine.

Yeah. I'm never better.

Oh. I see you got company.

[chuckles] Yeah, good eye.

Eye.

‐ What's up? ‐ What's up, man?

‐ I'm Terrence. ‐ Alonzo.

‐ Hi, it's good‐‐ ‐ Hi.

You know, Scooter grew up with me and Khadijah.

Mm‐hmm. Yeah, and, um, Alonzo here's a teacher.

Yeah, he's a teacher. Teacher of the year.

[laughs] Yeah. That's him.

And, um, Khadijah profiled him in the, the magazine

the magazine, and I bet you we got copies of it lying around

oh, I don't know, in the kitchen.

That's where the copies are. Yes.

You wanted mustard or not, so..

[gibberish]

So..

Khadijah.

Look who's here, girl.

Hey, babe.

Babe?

Man, I had the day from hell.

Come on, Khadijah, let's do this.

Max, this is not exactly the best timing.

Can we talk later?

Oh.

Well, alright, Regine. Come on, you'll do.

Max. Maxine Shaw, whatever happened to you today

isn't nearly as juicy as what's about to go down here.

So, Khadijah's in a bind. Doesn't anyone care about me?

Damn!

If I only knew some people in my own building.

Babe?

Regine, can we have some privacy, please?

Yeah, sure. I'm sorry, girl. Of course.

I'll just finish my dinner upstairs... by the vent.

So, Khadijah, who is this guy?

Scooter is an old friend.

Mm‐hmm.

Who, before I met you became... more than a friend.

Uh‐huh.

And who's this guy?

Al‐Alonzo's... a new friend.

Who you're getting ready to live with.

Live with?

Live with.

Then why am I trying to move here to be with you?

I'm kind of thirsty. Y'all want some soda?

[whimpering]

What the hell's going on?

Terrence just flew in from LA to surprise me.

Well... do you have feelings for this guy?

Yes.

But I have feelings for you too.

You know that.

But you're just not ready for the type of relationship I want.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Keep the bear.

Scooter?

Damn!

[grunting]

You're still here.

Yeah.

Regine got her hair caught in the vent.

I‐I thought you left.

Well, you ain't gonna get rid of me that easily.

So where's your friend?

He left.

Are you okay?

I will be.

Look, there's some things I need to explain to you.

Uh, no, no, you don't.

I did just drop in here unannounced.

I don't know why I expected your life to be on hold.

Maybe..

Because there's something between us

that's just not going away.

No maybe about it.

So, now what?

How about this?

Okay.

Now, I really hope I get that job here.

'Cause there's just some things you can't do long distance.

(Regine) 'Are y'all kissing?'

[instrumental music]

[screaming]

(Regine) Ah, suki, suki now.

Be sure and come back and see what happens. Smooches.

[instrumental music]

♪ Haa ♪