Original subtitles

Alright, here we go. Thanksgiving turkey.

Self‐basting, built‐in thermometer, foolproof.

If we mess up, turkey roll.

Oh, man, the freezer's packed.

How are we supposed to keep this bird frozen

for the next five days?

Gosh, just get rid of some of this fattening stuff

you got in here.

Chocolate ice cream?

Chocolate chocolate chip ice cream.

Chocolate brownie ice cream.

Chocolate. Alright, let's dig in.

I'm not eating that mess at no 9:00 in the morning.

Come on, Khadijah.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Well, if I'm going to eat something that decadent

I've got to have a very good reason.

How about just got to make some room for the turkey?

Works for me.

♪ Check check check it out check check check it out ♪

♪ What you want? No free position ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living the single life yeah ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up what? ♪

♪ Keep your head up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Haaaa ♪

[humming]

Synclaire, do you mind? You're humming.

I'm sorry. I don't know the words.

♪ Reunited and it feels so goo‐o‐‐ ♪

Synclaire, Stacey and I are working.

♪ ...o‐ood ♪

I'm finished.

Like I was saying, Stacey, these pictures

I don't think they're right for the Christmas issue.

What's wrong with them?

A sad clown with his makeup running in the rain.

A skinny puppy shivering in the rain.

The rain.

Then I guess my picture of the clown kicking the puppy

won't work either.

These photos don't exactly give me that ho‐ho‐ho feeling.

I'm sorry. It's just that my boyfriend dumped me.

Oh, man, that's too bad. Y'all were together for a while.

Mm‐hmm, six worthless years.

Wow. That's a long time.

If you'd had a kid the first year, he'd be five now, huh?

That's comforting. I'll be in the darkroom.

Hold up, Stacey.

Look, if you let this get to you, you'll wind up

turnin' into a bitter old woman with nothing to look forward to

but brushing your teeth and setting them in a glass.

We're going out with our girlfriends tonight.

‐ Why don't you join us? ‐ 'Yeah.'

Well, I was planning on cooking my ex‐boyfriend's clothes

on the hibachi.

Come on, girl. It would be good for you.

You'll relax, you'll cheer up

and you'll give me some photos I can use.

Okay, but can we not talk about men, relationships or sex?

Fine.

We'll just pass notes on napkins all night.

[all laughing]

Anchors aweigh.

So we get to the restaurant, right?

And that's when he offers me the ring.

And he told me that it's a family heirloom.

Ooh, that sounds romantic.

Please. I had that thing appraised.

Well, at least he took you to dinner.

My ex couldn't even afford to pay attention.

Don't ever date a musician.

Unless it's Tito Jackson. He's so cute.

So, Stace, what you doing for Thanksgiving?

Oh, I don't know, I was planning on renting some videos

eating some chocolate, and making a voodoo doll.

You can do that here. I'll bring my stick pins.

Yeah. Why don't you hang out with us?

We're going to stuff ourselves with turkey

and lie on the couch and moo.

Alright. I'll come. Can I bring anything?

Now, see, Max, that's what you do

when you come over to somebody's house.

See, you offer to bring something.

I bring my charm and my wit.

Yes, dear, but if you'd offered, we'd say no.

[knock on door]

See, Overton, I told you. I know my women.

Max wasn't any louder than usual.

There's an extra hen in the house.

Stacey, this is Overton.

Oh, and don't look directly at the other one

or you'll turn into a pillar of salt.

Excuse me while I ignore you.

Hi. Kyle Barker. Pleasure to meet you.

Oh, same here. Stacey Evans.

Stacey's gonna be spending Thanksgiving with us.

Really?

Oh, Overton and I are going to the Macy's Day Parade.

‐ Why don't you come with? ‐ Oh, no, thanks.

I'm not much of a parade person.

Well, Synclaire, looks like it's down to you and me

standing on that parade route, our hearts full of joy

our Thermoses full of hot cocoa

and our favorite cartoon characters

full of non‐flammable helium.

Okay, okay. Stop. Stop. I'm getting too excited.

Stop it.

So, Stacey, what do you do?

‐ I'm a photographer. ‐ Really?

Photography's kind of a hobby of mine too.

What camera do you use?

I use a Leica R‐7 with the 180 lens.

And you?

Uh, actually I'm more of a Fuji disposable kind of guy.

‐ Built‐in flash. ‐ Ah, good save.

Do you always lie to strangers?

Every time, if I can get a smile like that.

‐ Oh. ‐ Ooh, there it is again.

So, Stacey, what do you do when you're not taking pictures?

A movie with your boyfriend, dinner with your boyfriend

or just hanging out with your boyfriend?

I'm unattached.

Really? Isn't that nice?

Can I get you anything? My phone number?

Kyle, can‐can I talk to you, babes?

Mmm, mmm.

Excuse us.

‐ So, Kyle, how are you doing? ‐ Fine.

‐ Leave Stacey alone. ‐ What are you talking about?

Kyle, that girl just had her heart broken.

She's in no condition to be talking to men.

Or to you.

Will you two wildebeests back off?

Look, I'm gonna do nothing to hurt that girl.

Oh, please, we see you over there

trying to work a mojo on her.

Perpetrating. What do you know about photography?

I know that you're underdeveloped.

I don't mean to pat myself on the back

but these are kind of perfect.

Bright. Upbeat. Very Christmassy.

This don't even look like New York.

That's because I airbrushed the winos out of the shot.

It looks to me like someone's spirits have been lifted

over the last few days.

Hm, you could say that.

So hanging out with the girls did you some good, huh?

Mm‐hmm. That and doing the wild thing.

Hey, hey..

Girlfriend got her some.

So what's the four‐uno‐uno, girl?

It was incredible.

‐ Boyfriend was all there. ‐ Ooh.

I hate you. Keep talking.

Well, you know how we always pray for seconds?

This was a sexual salad bar.

Did he stay all night? Did he make you breakfast?

I was Kyle's breakfast, girl.

Did you say Kyle? Our Kyle?

Hold up. I just went blank.

(Stacey) 'Mm.'

It was a real pick‐me‐up.

Well, that's certainly a morale boost we couldn't provide.

Oh, well, I'm sorry, I hope I haven't made you

uncomfortable by talking about this.

Hey, I can live with it if you can.

Well, congratulations.

You and Kyle will make a very handsome couple.

I just got out of a relationship.

I am not in the market for anything serious.

Oh, I hear you. I'm a woman of the '90s too, you know.

[clicks tongue]

Then you understand.

Sometimes, it's just the physical thing.

Is that what she meant?

You know, it's always romantic

when two shallow people get together

and become uninvolved.

Hello, my beautiful Nubian queen.

‐ For you. ‐ For what?

For introducing me to Stacey. Is she here?

Yeah, she's in the back.

Uh, look, Khadijah, I know you were kind of worried

that I might hurt Stacey, but this time it's different.

‐ Different? ‐ Yeah.

I mean, this feels like it could be the start of something.

I even wrote her phone number down in ink.

Ooh, looks like Kyle's been bitten by the love bug.

Right on the ass.

Hey, I understand if Stacey is just out to have a good time

but I have never seen Kyle this stupid in love.

It must be stopped.

If Kyle wants to tiptoe along the edge of an empty pool

I say we push him in.

Well, I can't believe the way y'all are going

on and on about Kyle

and you haven't said boo about my new holiday wig.

Hey, Synclaire.

Got everything we need for the parade on Thursday.

Ooh, this is great.

Blankets, binoculars, and a TV?

Why, a parade just isn't a parade

without the savvy commentary of Regis Philbin.

Overton, has Kyle mentioned anything to you about Stacey?

Oh, just that he really likes her

he can't get her off his mind

and he's happier than he's ever been.

But other than that, he's been downright tightlipped.

[knock on door]

Hello, ladies.

‐ Max. ‐ Hey, Kyle.

You're looking well for your first day up on two legs.

Hey, bud, look.

I prepared a very romantic dinner for Stacey and myself.

So can you come upstairs and fix the dust buster?

I wanna clean up before she gets there.

No problem, shorty. I'll hook you up.

Check you out, Kyle.

In the kitchen making dinner for a woman

dusting.

You really going all out for this girl, huh?

Yeah, well, Stacey's worth it.

You know, she really appreciates me

and she loves my sense of humor. I'm always making her laugh.

Maybe you should keep your clothes on.

Max, Max, I'd love to stay here and trade witty insults with you

but I have to go and throw rose petals on the bed.

Oh, no, that's how the dust buster

got clogged up in the first place.

Wow, rose petals on the bed.

That's so romantic.

Y'all, Kyle is in deep.

I should talk to that man and let him know

he's wasting time with Stacey.

Kadijah's right. We can't let him make a fool

of himself, can we?

[laughs] Yes.

Khadijah, Kyle's not gonna listen to you anyway.

Girl, he is in love

and no man can think clearly when he's in love.

I know. That's when I get the big money gifts.

Regine, every time you open up your mouth.

You set sisterhood back about a hundred years.

Well, Max, the next time you're marching

for women's rights, look up.

That's me in the box seat.

And I'll have the fur on my back and the man on my arms.

‐ Stace, can I talk to you? ‐ Oh, sure.

[humming]

Synclaire, can we have some privacy?

If you want privacy, build a whole wall.

I wanna talk to you about Kyle.

He seems to think you two are having a relationship.

Really? Well, we've only been

seeing each other a couple of days.

That's all it took.

I'm telling you the brother is gone.

Besides, Stacey, love knows no time.

People got together every day on "The Love Boat."

You know, except for Isaac who only fell in love

when they could find a black woman, you know.

I gotta do something about that wall.

Hmm.

Look, it's none of my business, but I'm gonna tell you anyway.

If you keep seeing Kyle, he is gonna get hurt.

Oh, I don't wanna do that. I really like Kyle.

It's just that he came along at the wrong time.

Well, then be straight up with him.

I should, shouldn't I?

I will.

But I'm sure gonna miss breakfast in bed.

I hear you.

No, really. I can hear you.

I can hear every word you're saying.

Oh, you guys missed a great parade.

Underdog is so much bigger in real life.

Yeah. So is Willard Scott.

So where's Kyle?

Uh, he'll be joining us a little bit late.

Stacey came by, said she wanted to talk to him about something.

Think she's going to break up with Kyle

like Khadijah told her to?

How do you know about that?

Well, Synclaire's my willing conduit into the female world.

I can't believe Stacey waited till Thanksgiving to do this.

Yep, and now poor Kyle will feel a twinge of pain

every time he sees a butterball.

Well, I personally think that Kyle is better off

getting a little hurt now than being devastated later

if you ask me.

[knock on door]

Okay, that must be him.

Now let's show him a little kindness.

Max, do what you can.

Hi. Stacey, you're here.

‐ With Kyle. ‐ Naturally.

He seems to be taking it pretty well, don't you think?

I can't believe this.

Stacey promised she was going to set Kyle straight.

Look at Kyle fawning all over her.

It's pathetic.

Damn. I should have invited a date.

Mm. Here she comes.

‐ Khadijah, I‐‐ ‐ No.

I thought you were gonna tell Kyle the real deal.

I tried, but then he got all soft and sweet on me

and I knew we were both coming here.

I didn't want dinner to be awkward.

(Khadijah) 'Thanks.'

Now everybody here knows how you feel about Kyle

except Kyle.

We're all real comfortable.

I'm sorry. It's just not easy to hurt him.

We should talk.

Stacey, what's keeping you in here?

Come on, Overton and Synclaire wanna see the bracelet

I just got you.

Wha.. Brace.. Wha.. Ah, wha..

‐ Check it out. ‐ Kyle.

Oh, Stacey, that's lovely.

Suits her perfectly, don't you think?

Delicate and classy just like my girl.

Hmm, that's Cartier love bracelet.

That's 18 karat.

Hmm, you sure got it going on, Stace.

Good job, good friends and a man like Kyle

who's generous, devoted and trusting in a ridiculous way.

[chuckles] Wait, wait, hold up.

Now I didn't do so bad for myself either.

Stacey is, uh, she's the best thing

that's happened to me in a long time.

Oh, Kyle, stop.

What? There's nothing embarrassing

about how we feel for each other.

‐ I don't care who knows it. ‐ Yeah, that's true.

This morning Kyle spelled out

Kyle loves Stacey in his Alpha‐Bits.

Of course, they never make enough Ss

so it really said Kyle love Tacey.

Personally, I think it's refreshing to see Kyle

with a woman who's not inflatable.

[laughs]

Ah, that's funny, Max. That's fun..

Ooh, do I love that face? Look at that face.

Alright, that's it. Kyle, kitchen.

Excuse me.

Max, what's going on with you?

Me? What about you?

It's hard enough watching you coo and cuddle

but when you start to get cutesy with me

I have to speak on it.

Max, what are you talking about?

Here it is, A, you're in love.

B, she's not.

Ergo, you look like a fool.

Tsk, tsk. Max, this is so sad.

I mean, you look at a couple like us and you figure.

Hmm, that'll never be me.

That's right, that will never be me

because I'm smart enough to know when I'm being played.

Kyle, the girl's using you.

She don't want you.

Max, you couldn't be more wrong.

I mean, if Stacey didn't have feelings for me

then why would she have accepted the bracelet?

Maybe she's got feelings for jewelry.

Give it up.

'Cause I'm in a real bind when it comes

to getting a Christmas gift for my mom.

Last year, I got her eyebrow wax

and the year before, I got her Epilady.

What do you get a woman that's got everything?

Electrolysis.

Well, this year, my Christmas present

to my parents is going to be me.

I'm going home for the holidays.

In fact, Stacey, I would love it

if you'd come home and meet them.

Kyle, can we talk about this later?

Well, well, baby, what's there to talk about?

I mean, you do want to go with me, right?

Yeah, Stacey. You know you wanna go.

Uh, Kyle, can we go and talk about this in private?

Try the kitchen. It's got the best acoustics.

Well, here comes the boot.

Can't say we didn't warn him.

Kyle's gonna need our tender loving TLC.

And we'll be here for him

till the thermometer pops on that turkey.

[door shuts]

Now here he comes. Everybody, act natural.

‐ I'm going in. ‐ I got your back.

Uh, Kyle?

How are you doing, buddy?

Man, how do you think I'm doing? She just left me.

Uh, yo, Kyle, keep it down. The girls are right behind you.

But hey, I'm fine. Thanks for asking.

Are you alright for real?

Khadijah, I..

I can't believe that she left me like that.

I'm Kyle, baby.

This kind of thing does not happen to me.

I feel so stupid.

Everybody plays the fool sometime.

Kyle.

You deserve better than her. She's not worth it.

Good Lord, he's ugly when he cries.

Kyle, you are a sweet

intelligent, good‐looking man.

And that's a lot to be thankful for.

And this is the day to do it.

So why don't we just go eat?

Thanks, Khadijah.

Kyle, honey, I just have one question.

Of course, I got the bracelet back.

I've taught you so well.

Oh.

You know, I don't get you, money.

You act like you can't stand Kyle

but you were the first one to warn him about what was coming.

Think you're getting sentimental in your old age.

No. I just figured if anyone's gonna inflict pain on Kyle

I ought to be in on it.

Old soft‐hearted Max.

Yeah, well, I got to go.

It's amazing.

You come up in here with nothing..

And yet you leave with enough food to last you a week.

That's where you underestimate me, my little friend.

I'll be back for breakfast.

‐ Oh, hey, Max. ‐ Goodnight, Kyle.

I was just coming down to say thanks for dinner

and, and everything.

Well, you're welcome.

Now you be careful crossing the street.

You know there's a leash law in this town.

There's also a pooper‐scooper law

but no one's come to collect you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

You too.