Original subtitles

The people down at the shelter are going to love me

when they see what I am donating.

Regine...

these people are poor, not tasteless.

Well, then maybe you should take it.

And here's a box of tissue to fill it.

Ooh, look‐‐ my old bag of marbles.

Oh, I lost these ages ago.

Too easy, yo.

These marbles used to be on the bottom of my turtle tank.

When I was six and family made the big move

from St. Paul to Minneapolis.

Oh, I was so lonely.

So my mother brought me a little turtle Fred.

Oh, I loved Fred. He was my best friend.

What happened to Fred? He bit me.

I put him on the Popsicle raft and send him off the river.

Hey, hey. Here's our contribution.

Isaac Hayes eight‐tracks?

What, they wouldn't fit into the time capsule?

Don't tell me y'all are giving this away?

Oh, please, put that back. It's a piece of junk.

I'll give you a dollar for it.

Five.

You just said it was junk.

It's brand‐name junk.

You drive a hard bargain.

I'm going to give you five.

I can get eight on the street, Shorty.

Uh‐oh. What? A Playgirl from 1987?

Talk about your horny packrats.

So, wait, why are y'all holding on to this?

Page 54. Page 54. Page 54.

It's ripped out.

Alright, Max, what did you do with page 54?

I don't have it.

Regine?

Like I need pictures.

Somebody took page 54.

I'm so ashamed.

♪ Check check check it out check check check it out ♪

♪ Do what you want girl no free position ♪

♪ We are living single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we are living the single life ♪

♪ We are living single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ooh, in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪ ♪ Keep your head up ♪

♪ What? ♪ ♪ Keep your head up ♪

♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪ ♪ You got to fight with ♪

♪ My homegirls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue, and tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check, check, check it out ♪

♪ Check, check, check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Do what you want, girl... ♪

♪ Ooh, in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪ ♪ Aah ♪

Synclaire, what is all this?

I'm studying for my accounting exam.

Ooh, it's really hard.

Who knew there would be so many numbers?

Let me know if I can help.

Maybe you can answer a question.

When you're debiting a revenue account

do you have to add in assets and liabilities?

If I tell you the answer, you'll never learn.

Guess who?

Denzel, I told you to stop bothering me at the office.

Scooter!

(laughing)

Scooter! Wait, wait, wait.

Chill with the Scooter.

The name is Terrence.

Oh, you a big shot record producer now.

That's right. But I'm still a homey.

I've got two secretaries who tell me so.

Well, as long as I'm around, your name is Scooter.

So how you doin', girl? As fine as you look?

Well, no one can do that well.

What about you? What you doing in town?

I just flew from Cali, check out some groups.

So clear your calendar.

We're getting a little too old to be running like we used to.

Dancing all night...

partying till dawn...

throwing snowballs at the cops.

Yeah...

Yeah, last Christmas was fun.

Whoo!

Hey, how's Regine?

Oh, still Regine.

Looking for love in all the wrong wallets.

And the family?

They're good. Everybody's cool.

Hey, whatever happened to that bugged‐out cousin

of yours from Minneapolis‐‐

the one who used to write those crazy letters all the time?

REGINE: Ooh!

It is so nice to be able to take a relaxing bath

and just wash away all of the anxieties of the day.

Regine, you've been home all day.

And it was nice. Don't ruin it.

So, which one of y'all is making dinner?

Y'all on your own. I'm going out with Scooter.

Having a great time, aren't you?

Always do‐‐ just chillin' with my buddy.

No mind games, no manners, and no makeup.

Oh, hell, you can be ugly with us.

It's different, though.

It's like going out with a guy

but not going out with a guy, you know?

Are you saying he's got a little sugar in his tank?

No! I'm saying he's just a friend.

Oh, well, why go out with a guy that's not a date?

That's like taking a horse for a walk.

Accounting is easy. I am open and receptive to it.

Accounting is easy. I am open and receptive to it.

Accounting is easy...

Oh, don't mind me.

I'm just opening my mind to the accounting fundamentals.

They'll have plenty of room to play in there.

How's the class going, sweetie?

Well, I've been having some problems

but not to worry. I've got someone to help me.

(knock at door)

There's my tutor now.

Evening, ladies.

(Regine laughs)

What do you know about accounting?

Well, I run my own business plus once I installed

an air conditioner in a C. P. A.'s office.

Bet you're feeling a little foolish now, aren't you?

Synclaire...

They don't even know, do they?

(chuckling)

Okay, so my first question is

how do you adjust long‐term assets?

Um, it's kind of bright in here for studying,

don't you think?

Got any incense?

(knock at door)

I'll get it.

Oh, hello, Kyle.

I hate to bother you, but I've an accounting problem

that I just can't seem to solve.

How's it going, man?

I think she's warming up to me

but how do you adjust long‐term assets?

Well, you have to consider

depreciation, amortization and depletion

except in the case of intangible assets,

which have to be removed from the contra asset account.

Got it.

One more time.

(knock at door)

Hello.

Hey, I'm Terrence.

Oh, I'm Kyle, man.

This is Overton.

Hey, we don't live here.

Is Khadijah here?

Hey, Scooter's in the house!

What's up, baby?

(laughing)

So, Regine, you going to hang with us tonight?

No, honey, I'd love to

I'm trying to grab three days this week as pamper‐me days.

Well, check you out.

Got a little money.

Bought yourself some hair.

Shut up!

But I must say, it looks a lot better

than them clothespins you used to clip in them pigtails.

Pretending like she had long hair.

Hey! I looked good.

You looked like Buckwheat's sister.

Buckwheat had a sister?

I think her name was Darla.

No, man, that was the little white girl.

Oh, remember the one where Miss Crabtree gives them cake?

(singing The Little Rascals theme song)

Come on, come on.

(singing continues)

Uh‐uh‐uh. Hello. Huh?

I hate to interrupt your little male bonding,

but mother's stomach is growling.

Guess you're ready to fill your belly up with some free food.

You know that. Alright.

Bring me back a dog back.

Max, they named a whole bag after you, huh?

Hey Terrence seems pretty cool.

You know you can trust a guy who knows his "Little Rascals".

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Hey, Max, since Khadijah and Terrence are just friends

maybe he'd make a nice fellow for you.

Mm‐mm. I don't think so. I have very a strict policy

about dating friends of friends. I just don't do it.

I never have and I never will.

You old liar. You just dated my man last month.

Damn right. Then I'd do it again!

Ha‐ha!

You're a mess.

You can't stay away from here, can you?

It will be a minute to pick up these files.

You're not going to make me type are you?

No, but you could grab a broom.

This will just take me a minute.

Don't rush.

I'll just be checking you out in the moonlight.

You should see me under fluorescents.

I glow.

You think you're gonna sign any of those groups we saw tonight?

Well, that last group was cool.

I'm not sure I've the extra time it will take to develop them.

You ever want something, but don't have time to devote to it?

Do I? This magazine has become my whole life.

Not much time for anything else.

But I guess it's been worth the sacrifice.

We made it.

Yep. Pretty much got everything we wanted didn't we?

Almost.

What was that?

It's been that long since you been kissed?

Why don't I run that by you one more time?

Okay.

You've got some explaining to do, Miss Missy.

Out all night with Scooter?

What's going on?

Freeze. Ha‐ha!

I saw you come home, girl.

Where you been?

Dag, do any of y'all have lives?

I was out with Terrence.

Terrence?

What's up with you calling Scooter Terrence?

I did not. Yes, you did.

If you don't mind me saying so, you do have that certain glow.

You got busy with Scooter?

I did not.

I got busy with Terrence.

What?!

Wow!

I don't know what happened.

He looked the same.

He smelled the same.

Next thing I know, he kissed me

and my clothes fell off.

Oh...

You did the deed.

Was it a good deed?

That's the worst part.

It was bad?

It was great.

I mean, I may have wrecked a 20‐year friendship

over a few hours of fun.

A few hours?

Okay, I'd say that's a fair trade.

I can't believe I lost control like that.

I'll never be able to look him in the eye again.

What do you mean?

You can't sleep with your friend

and expect things to be thesame.

Why not?

It's like... the birth canal.

Once you go through, you can't go back.

Oh, been there done that. Oh, yeah.

It's no big deal, Khadijah.

I've had sex with friends before.

Really? Who?

I can't remember their names. We don't talk anymore.

What a mess.

I think we're all forgetting that love is a magical thing.

Maybe Terrence is the one‐‐

the one you can fall in love with,

the one you can exchange vows with,

the one you can grow old and ugly and wrinkled together

but it doesn't matter 'cause you both have cataracts.

In her own disoriented way, Synclaire could be right.

I mean, Khadijah, you're not one for casual sex.

I know, and this wasn't.

Maybe that's what I'm afraid of.

Oh, man, I'm getting confused,

and y'all know I hate being confused.

Hey, I was just passing by.

You'll need any cocking?

No, I'm lying.

Kyle sent me down to find out why Khadijah came home

in the same clothes that she had on last night.

I'm really embarrassed.

I'll just go.

So, what should I tell Kyle?

Anybody call?

Hi. Just Regine, Max, and the printer.

What'd they want?

Well, Regine wanted to know if Terrence called

and Max wanted to know if Terrence called.

Printer didn't know about Terrence so I filling him in

and he said, "good luck dating a friend."

Khadijah, look!

I got some flowers for, uh... Jackie Johnson.

Good for her.

Oh, don't worry about it, Khadijah.

I'm sure Terrence didn't forget about you.

Who knows? He's probably just as confused as I am.

Guess who? Terrence, not here.

That's not what you were saying last night on the Xerox machine.

Come on, stop it!

Hey, are you cool?

Of course I'm cool.

Why shouldn't I be?

Maybe because last night, we saw each other naked

for the first time since we were five.

That was a trip, huh?

Yeah, it was for me.

No, really, I'm cool with this.

Good. I got you a little something.

A plane ticket?

I've to go back to L. A. And I want you to join me for weekend.

This weekend? Yes.

As in two days from tomorrow.

Terrence, I'm going to have to say...

Let me think about it.

You do that.

I'll see you tonight.

And if it helps you make up your mind,

it's a window seat.

Ooh...

Khadijah, I think someone was in here last night.

What you talking about?

I don't know, I found these in the copy machine.

Can't make out, but it looks...

Gimme that!

(gasping): Whoa!

Get out of here! Don't you... Go back to work! Get to work!

So what's the difference

between a temporary and a permanent account?

Well, a temporary account is good for a minute

but a permanent account is something

that you can depend on, like a... like a rock, see?

You know, it's there to help you through the bad times

and laugh with you through the good times.

You know, always faithful, always true.

Like a good friend.

Well, gee, now, the book says

permanent accounts are on a balance sheet

and temporary accounts are on an income statement.

Okay, you, you go with that.

Oh, now, here's a toughie.

What are the four basic closing entries?

You gonna have to excuse me for a minute.

I think I left my glue gun on.

Be right back.

Kyle, quick. What are the four basic entries?

Look, Overton, you are not going to remember anyway

and I'm tired of sitting on this step.

Therefore, my participation in your clever scheme

is at an end.

But man, I need more time.

Accounting is not as romantic as I thought.

Hey, but she's starting to come around.

Oh, brother, please, three days and not one kiss.

You do the math, okay?

Oh, brother, don't leave me hanging.

Overton, I have better things to do than to play Cyrano to you.

Well, Khadijah, what do you expect to happen

when you sleep with your best friend?

On second thought, I think I can help you out for a minute.

So it's on you. What you gonna do?

What's to do? She's going to L. A. To get hers.

She shouldn't lead him on.

Why not? Men do it to women all of the time.

See, this is why you never have a man.

You're obsessed with revenge.

It's not revenge. It's "prevenge‐‐"

getting to them before they get to you.

Khadijah, you should not feel obligated

to go running off to L. A. Just 'cause Scooter spent

a couple of hundred dollars on a plane ticket.

Fifteen hundred.

Oh.

That's first class.

Hmm, that's free drinks and footwares.

Let me see if I understand this situation.

A young man that you've known all your life

has fallen in love with you, wants to buy you things

and take you away.

Hell, you ain't got to be a handyman

to figure this one out.

Sounds like all assets and no liabilities to me.

Hey, you can use this stuff in everyday life.

Why did he give me this damn ticket anyway?

Okay, they always know how to ruin things.

Everything going along fine, and then, bam! Flowers.

I mean, if I go to L. A., things will never be the same.

But if I don't go, I'll never know what it'd be.

Khadijah, I'm telling you, girl, save the friendship.

Cut him loose.

Personally, I think you should sleep with him again

and then it will all become clear.

And if not,

you'll be set for the next six months.

So this is how it works, huh?

You hens sit around and you cluck over poor brother's fate.

Don't you think this is the kind of thing should be kept private?

You're right. Get out.

Alright. As usual, you women will not have

the benefit of my vast knowledge.

Are you still here?

No, I'm gone.

(knock at door)

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Hey, where we going?

To the kitchen to eavesdrop.

So, when I get back to L. A.,

should I bother to scrub the tub?

You should definitely scrub the tub.

But I don't think I'm coming to L. A.

Don't think. Just pack.

Terrence, it's not that easy.

Nothing worth it ever is.

But so much has changed.

Damn, I shaved my legs for you.

Really? Let me see.

Get out of here.

What's it gonna take to get you to L. A.?

I don't know.

I don't know what I want.

You telling me this was just a fling?

No. If it was a fling,

we would be having this conversation in California

with no clothes on.

Then it's more?

It could be.

I don't know, this is all happening so fast.

I mean, how come you're so sure?

Because I've always thought about you this way.

Don't tell me you never thought about me like that.

No. Well, maybe once or twice.

Okay, all day today.

Well, look, baby, you got a plane to catch.

You going to miss me, girl.

Don't forget you gave me an open ticket.

Use it when you're ready.

Damn!

This new system of you not giving me the answers

and making me look things up is really tough.

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

The famous philosopher Nietzche said that...

right before he died.

I guess Terrence is somewhere over Indiana by now.

Mm‐hmm, you missed your chance to join that mile‐high club.

You could have been on that plane now‐‐ occupied.

Khadijah, you did the right thing, girl.

If it's meant to be, it will be.

I hope so.

After seeing what happened to you

I realize that friendship is too precious a thing to tamper with.

I would never ever get involved with a friend.

Never?

Ever.

Well, guess we've all learned quite a bit.

Synclaire, I think you can handle

the rest of this on your own.

Okay, thanks, Overton.

See you tomorrow?

Maybe.

REGINE: Oh, Khadijah, look, flowers for me.

Oh, I bet they're from Patrick...

or, or Mark... or no, it's Zeke.

No, no, I couldn't get my face cracked twice.

These are for me.

See, what'd I tell you?

"These are for you as a token of our friendship.

"I know we're more than friends,

"but friendship is important and I do value that."

"I want you to know that I'll be there if you ever need me."

"I'll treasure all we've shared over the years."

Aww, girl, that is too sweet. How'd he sign it?

"Love, your cousin, Synclaire."

(laughing)