Original subtitles

This is the third refrigerator I had to fix this week.

Oh, you could probably fix it blindfolded.

Nah, I tried that on the second one

all I got was a nasty shock.

Khadijah, is this anything we should keep?

Does it smell like we can get another week out of it?

Well, let's see. Borderline pile or bad pile.

Hey! Max in the house! What's up?

‐ What y'all got to eat? ‐ Oh, try this.

[spitting] Oh!

‐ Bad pile! Bad pile! ‐ 'Bad pile.'

♪ Check check check it out check check check it out ♪

♪ Do what you want no free position ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living the single life yeah ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪ ♪ You gotta fight ♪

♪ With my homegirls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue ♪ ♪ It's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Haa ♪

‐ What's a five letter word? ‐ For what?

Doesn't matter? I don't read the clues. Pfft.

Morning.

Hm, sleepin' past noon

must have been a pretty good date.

It couldn't have been that good or she won't be wakin' up here.

You know, Maxine

sleepin' on strange sheets may be your idea of a good time

but mine is a little more romantic.

Readin' each other poetry

listenin' to chamber music

sharin' a laugh over a glass of pinot noir.

[chuckling]

‐ Since when? ‐ Since Patrick.

Girl, you've been goin' through a lot of changes for that man.

Cookin' his favorite food, goin' to art exhibits.

Coverin' up your breast.

Ooh. Sounds serious.

[chuckling] Well, it is.

I mean, Patrick is not just any man

he's that rare combination of fun, sophistication

and financial security.

Your three basic man groups.

Well, I hope this isn't too technical for you ladies

but I'm gonna have to replace the refrigerator coil.

Ah. Is the Freon level below factory specs.

You've been bonin' up again, huh?

Well, as you may well know those little devils

can be very tricky to fix.

Sorry you gotta work on Sunday, Overton

but I'm not gettin' behind that fridge.

Well, it ain't like I got nothin' else to do.

Oh, where's Kyle?

Oh, he's with his kid from the Big Brother Program.

He's gonna teach him how to be a man.

Yes, well, I hope Kyle's takin' notes.

[doorbell dings]

‐ Hi, I'm Patrick. Is Regine in? ‐ Hi.

(Overton) 'Uh, yeah, she's..'

Hi, Patrick, I'm Khadijah, nice to finally meet you.

And this is Overton.

He was just leavin' to go get a refrigerator coil.

Careful. Those things can be tricky.

I like him.

Well, come on in.

Oh.

Patrick.

[chuckling]

You devil, droppin' by unannounced.

Oh, and me lookin' such a mess.

You should have seen her 10 seconds ago.

‐ Well, I think you look great. ‐ Oh.

These‐these are for you.

I was gonna have 'em delivered

but I wanted to see the look when you got 'em.

‐ Oh. ‐ Do you have any brothers?

Alright, ignore my desperate roommates.

Uh, can I get you some coffee?

No, s‐sorry, I can't stay, I have to pick up my daughter

from dance class.

Well, um..

It's‐it's nice to meet you all.

‐ I'll call you later. Okay? ‐ Okay.

Got a cousin?

Young uncle?

Ooh, Regine, why didn't you tell us he had a daughter?

Because I haven't met her yet.

And because you hate kids.

Oh, I do not, I like kids.

Especially, when they are well‐behaved and bright.

Like I was.

Bright you were not!

Eatin' sand.

Once. When will you let that go?

‐ I was an angel. ‐ For Halloween.

Anyway, I'm sure that I will meet little Camille soon

and she'll fall in love with me

I'll score big points with Patrick

and then I'll have him right where I want him.

Tranquillized, delirious and walkin' down that aisle.

Guess we're not goin' to the zoo today, huh?

No, Kevon, that's what the books are for

to prepare you for the zoo.

I want you to learn all about the animals.

They're furry and they have teeth. I just wanna feed them.

Come on. When we get upstairs, we'll start with the marsupials.

Yeah.

‐ Uncle Ovie. ‐ Hey, man.

Come on, saw it up.

Hit the rock, take it down.

[both grunting]

So what's this?

The handyman's handshake.

Yeah, maybe later I'll teach you how to organize a tool belt.

‐ Cool. ‐ There you go.

Uh, Kevon, what do you say we go upstairs

and check out my record collection?

But all we ever do is look at 'em.

Well, that's because they're collectors items.

Uncle Ovie lets me play them.

No, he doesn't.

[keyboard keys clacking]

Are you gonna move your feet?

Oh, I see, so I'm the only one around here

who can clean up, huh? Can't you lift a finger?

Do I get to pick the finger?

[doorbell dings]

Alright, alright, that's Patrick.

[clearing throat]

Oh, Max, go away! We're expectin' company.

And you got it.

[laughing]

She means Patrick and his daughter.

I know.

I'm here to watch Regine make a fool out of herself

with that little girl.

I'm not goin' to make a fool out of myself.

I have got everythin' I need

to win over the dear little girl's heart.

Cold, hard cash.

You can't buy a child's affection.

Where've you been?

Well, kids are built with BS detectors.

And she's gonna go off like a car alarm when she meets you.

[imitating car alarm]

‐ Whoo! Whoo! ‐ Oh, shut up.

Shut up.

And what makes you such an expert?

'Cause I dated a guy with children and it wasn't easy.

And when the relationship didn't work out

I didn't want him to think it was because of those kids.

‐ Why did you break up? ‐ Because of those kids.

Some badass kids.

Yes. Well, I am not goin' to have that problem.

As soon as I'm close enough to Patrick

the kid is off to boardin' school.

[doorbell dings]

Okay. Alright, nobody move.

[exhales sharply]

Hi.

Camille, this is the very nice lady I told you about.

‐ And her name is Regine. ‐ These are for you.

Oh. Well, thank you.

Why don't you call me Aunty Regine?

Daddy, she's pretty.

Oh. Call me mommy.

[instrumental music]

[laptop beeping]

Shoot! My battery's low.

Synclaire, you mind givin' me the power cord?

No problemo.

Where're you goin'?

To the office where I left the power cord

I was kinda hopin' you wouldn't notice.

And that's the difference between extensions and a weave.

I wanna stay with Regine, daddy.

Aw. Kids love me.

I guess we'll see you tomorrow.

‐ Okay. ‐ Bye, Regine.

Bye, Camille.

Ah. Children.

Okay, you can drop the act now, they're gone.

What act? That is the most adorable girl in the world.

She reminds me of myself when I was a child.

Y'all had sand for lunch?

Let it go!

Oh, Regine, you know Khadijah

she doesn't like to appear sentimental

but inside, she sees the niceness.

Regine, you know Synclaire

she don't know what the hell she talkin' about.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

So what are you doin'?

Child proofin' the apartment.

Camille is spendin' the day with me tomorrow.

Patrick has to go to Jersey on business.

Oh, Khadijah. Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please

can I miss work tomorrow, so I can spend the day

with Camille too? Please, please!

No.

What if I beg?

Hey, you know what?

Camille told Patrick that she wants to be just like me

when she grows up.

Loud and busty?

Forget you, alright? Forget you.

See, you are way out of touch with reality as usual.

I am goin' to make the perfect mother.

‐ For what? ‐ For Camille.

See, this way I can have all the joys of motherhood

without the labor pains, and‐and dirty diapers

and stretch marks. Ugh.

Little too late for the stretch marks part.

[laughing]

Well, can you fix it?

Phew.

This news is never easy to give.

I can go in, but there's a risk.

You see, as much as we know about refrigerators

there's still so much that we just don't know.

Just fix it.

‐ Is my apprentice ready? ‐ Ready, Uncle Ovie!

'Alright. Let's do this.'

Hey. Alright, Kevon, come on, man.

It's about time for us to get goin'.

But we're fixin' the refrigerator.

Yes, but I have tickets to the museum, eh.

Alright. Let's go.

Hey, hey, look who's here, everybody?

‐ How come she gets to stay? ‐ Shh.

She doesn't know about the museum.

We don't want it to get too crowded.

So, what'd you want for breakfast?

‐ Brownies. ‐ Ooh.

Alright then, brownies it is.

That's one way to get her bouncin' off the walls.

‐ Can I have brownies too? ‐ No.

I gotta work with you all day.

Regine, how does the microwave work?

It heats things up very fast.

How does it heat things up very fast?

There's, um, a little special somethin' up in there.

Excuse me for buttin' in

but the wrong information

can get a child's impressionable mind

off in the wrong direction.

See, and as adults it's our responsibility

to always tell the truth.

You just can't make up a convenient answer

just so the child will stop askin' questions.

So how does the microwave work, Overton?

Hell, I don't know.

But that's the truth.

[telephone ringing]

Flavor Magazine.

Just a moment, I'll connect you to the subscription department.

Subscriptions. How may I assist you?

Well, I didn't know they made bougie in such small sizes.

We went shopping.

We bought pajamas for our sleepover.

Sleepover?

Darling Camille, why don't you go see what Synclaire is doin'?

Come on, I'm gonna show you how the computer works.

Why is little Thumbelina sleepin' at our house?

Patrick called, right, with some story

about havin' to stay overnight on business. Ha!

Khadijah, this is it. This is the test.

What test?

To see if I can handle motherhood.

And I will not fail.

And then you press F2 for save.

Thanks. I better write that down.

Camille, honey, let's go.

Okay, let me know if you have any more questions.

Smooches.

[laughing]

Now, that's scary.

Now, this little piggy needs a second coat.

[knocking on door]

Ah.

You look funny.

Yeah, well, you try walkin' with these things on.

‐ Hey. ‐ Hey.

I thought you were with Kevon today.

No. They sent me a lemon.

The kid's with Uncle Ovie again.

No, no, it's not him, Regine, it's me.

I‐I just can't seem to communicate with him.

Ah, well, Kyle..

Bein' a parent isn't easy.

I mean, you've got to walk a delicate balance

between what makes the child happy

and that which will nurture and bring forth

a well‐rounded human being.

What am I gonna do? I just..

Have you tried shoppin'?

‐ No. ‐ Tsk.

Well, then, how can you possibly say

you've spent quality time with him?

You know, maybe things have been too structured.

I mean, after all he's just a kid, right?

Yeah, he just wants to have fun.

Ah.

Well, that's not what I meant

but if that's what you got out of it, hey.

[knocking on door]

Ah.

Well, hello.

Oh, just the little man I wanted to see.

Come here, buddy. You know what?

From now on, we're just gonna have fun.

And we're not even gonna read about it first.

‐ Cool! ‐ Oh, [indistinct].

‐ [indistinct]. ‐ Alright.

‐ Kyle? ‐ Uh‐huh.

I have a question.

Well, I will be happy to answer any question you may have

because I am the answer man.

Where do babies come from?

You know, we really need to go shopping, come on.

[instrumental music]

Who's got my golden arm?

Who's got my golden arm?

That's very nice, Camille. What's the rest of the story?

‐ That's all I know. ‐ It's still scary.

It scared Max right to sleep. Max!

Yeah.. Oh, what? Oh, ghost story over?

Ooh, scary, that was fun. Goodnight.

Max, we're all going to stay here tonight

and sleep on the floor in sleeping bags.

Yeah, right.

Uh, wait a minute.

Max, the whole point of this sleepover

was to give Camille some female influence.

Alright, okay. Well, I'm, uh..

Camille?

‐ What do you think about boys? ‐ Yuck!

Hold on to that thought, my work here is done. Goodnight.

Alright, well, Max is a party pooper

but the rest of us are still here.

Goodnight.

Synclaire.

I'm sorry, but that ghost story really got to me.

I can't sleep this close to the front door.

Who's got my golden arm?

Thanks, Camille.

I had fun today.

Well, I'm glad you had fun today.

Make sure you mention that to your daddy.

Okay, time for bed.

Ah. Sleep tight, sweetie.

Goodnight.

‐ Regine? ‐ What?

I have a tummy ache.

What?

My tummy hurts.

Well, what do you usually do when your tummy hurts?

My daddy gives me the pink stuff.

Pink stuff? Um..

Uh, uh, Khadijah. Hey, we got any pink stuff?

‐ 'What?' ‐ Pink stuff, pink stuff.

What's goin' on?

Her‐her stomach hurts.

[sighing]

No fever. Well, what did you have to eat today?

Salad, rice, chicken and cake.

‐ How much cake? ‐ Just one cake.

‐ So, w‐w‐what are we gonna do? ‐ We?

You're gonna sit up here and nurse this child

I'm goin' to bed.

Wait, Khadijah, what am I supposed to do?

Figure it out, mom.

[sighing]

Um, okay, alright, honey, come here. Come here.

Oh. Okay, yes.

Oh, um, alright, I'll, uh

I'll‐I'll give you some warm ginger ale

and, uh, I‐I'll rub your tummy and‐and you'll feel all better.

‐ Okay? ‐ Okay.

‐ Okay. ‐ Regine?

‐ Yes, baby. ‐ I'm gonna throw up.

[instrumental music]

And then I dreamt

that I was being chased around the apartment

and he was yelling "You stole my golden arm!"

Next thing I knew I woke up in geometry class naked.

Now, I'm gonna have nightmares.

Oh, look. Like two angels.

Droolin' on my sofa.

[doorbell dings]

Hm. That's probably your daddy, honey.

Don't you wanna run upstairs and beautify?

No, let him in.

‐ Hey, Patrick. ‐ Hey.

‐ Hi, daddy! ‐ Hey, baby. Wow!

‐ Hi. ‐ Hey.

How was your business trip?

Mm. It went well, but I missed my two favorite girls.

So how'd everything go here?

I had a tummy ache last night

and Regine took good care of me.

Well, I knew she would.

I'm gonna get me some breakfast.

‐ Can I have brownies? ‐ Yeah! Brownies!

Hey, hey, hey!

So..

Did you have a good time?

Uh, Camille is the sweetest, cutest kid.

God has ever made.

[chuckling] She wore you out, huh?

No! Yeah.

[chuckling]

And to tell you the truth..

I'm not ready to be a mother.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Slow down, Regine.

I'm not lookin' for a wife.

I mean, my bank account's just gettin' over my last one.

Yeah, but don't you need a mother for Camille?

What Camille needs is a good parent

and, for the record, there's a very nice female judge

in family court who seems to think that I can raise Camille

just fine by myself.

So then this is it, huh?

You really like to jump to conclusions, don't you?

Well, yeah, I‐I guess I do.

Regine.

Don't you know that Camille is crazy about ya?

Well, I'm crazy about Camille too.

So then maybe the three of us can continue to see each other.

Saturday. Prospect Park?

‐ We'll have a picnic. ‐ Hm.

I'll bring a cake. You bring the pink stuff.

[instrumental music]

I can't get around these child proof plugs.

[chuckling] Regine, you got your money's worth.

Yeah, and I'm savin' those, I'm gonna need 'em.

I thought you said you weren't ready to be a mom?

Well, I'm not, but when the time is right

honey, I'm havin' me a whole bunch of babies.

My genes are too good to waste.

But how do you know when the time is right?

Get yourself together first.

I'm gonna build up Flavor, buy radio stations

television networks

I'm gonna have a whole communications empire

that will run itself!

Giving me the time to raise a family.

Figure I'd be about twenty‐nine.

Well, I'm ready to have a baby right now.

Except for the fact that I'm not married

a‐and I'm still in school

and I only have a part‐time job.

Ah, maybe I'll just buy a cactus.

Well, I know I want children.

But I probably won't be ready until my feet are into stirrups

and the doctor is sayin' "I can see the head, push."

Max, as into your career as you are

you will probably never have children.

Yes, well, you underestimate me, my little friend.

Because whatever I do, I do well.

And if my career and my child conflict

I will quit.

You'd give up law?

No, I'd give the kid to Khadijah.

[instrumental music]

We're having fun now, huh, Kevon?

But you still haven't answered my question.

Where do babies come from?

Uh, here's the problem right here, this wire is loose.

Do you know, Uncle Ovie?

Ooh, keen eyesight, Kyle.

Yeah, that's the wire right there.

Isn't anybody gonna tell me where babies come from?

No doubt about it.

This compressor is definitely in rough shape.

You guys don't know, do you?