Original subtitles

Uff.

What's a buzzin', cousin?

Synclaire, it is 7:00 a. m.

Now if you wanna live in this house, you're gonna

have to learn how to drag your butt in the mornin'.

The toilet seat is up.

Oh, would you like me to get that for you?

An up seat in an apartment full of women?

Now you know what that means.

Somebody scrubbed the bathroom?

That didn't happen.

Overton finally fixed the tank.

That didn't happen.

Oh, one of us had a man here last night.

Girl, you know that ain't‐‐

♪ Touch me in the morning ♪

♪ Check check check it out check check check it out ♪

♪ What you want? No free position ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living the single life yeah ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up what? ♪

♪ Keep your head up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my homegirls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Single ♪

♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Haaa ♪

Look, I'll get back to you, Mr. Sable.

I‐I don't think you understand.

You see, we want this ad to run full page.

Big! Let me run it past you again.

Now we have our three malt liquor ladies

in tiger‐striped G‐strings

kissing a giant bottle of our product..

[kisses] standing in a tub of brew

underneath our slogan.

"Pure sophistication."

Pow!

‐ Look, Mr. Sable‐‐ ‐ Uh, tut‐tut, Elmo.

Whatever.

Look, we are a new magazine

and we could really use your company's business.

But I named our magazine "Flavor"

because we have taste. Okay?

Let me propose a solution.

You and me and a case of our brew

spending the evening in a tub of suds.

Would that make the ad a little more tasteful, huh?

Let me make it plain.

I'm takin' a class in kickboxing.

Do you wanna be my final exam?

I haven't seen a suit like that since J. J. Went to the prom.

‐ Anything up? ‐ The printer called.

He said hi.

Oh, and if we don't pay our overdue bill

he'll stop the presses on the next issue.

Damn! We owe $2000.

Well, I ain't too proud to beg. Get me the printer on the phone.

Uh‐oh, I put him on hold ten minutes ago.

But he's still there.

Well, he must really like listening to Kenny G.

Hello, Roger.

Yes, I know, I know.

But you'll get paid. We got the money.

We got the money.

Do you need a Q‐tip?

I said we got the money.

We ain't got the money.

Hello, MasterCard.

Yeah, this is Khadijah James.

Yes, I'll hold.

Come on, MasterCard.

Yes, I just wanted to know if there is any way

I can get an increase on my limit.

Is there any way you could write

a letter of recommendation to Visa?

I can't believe he played me like that.

Dumped again, Khadijah?

[scoffs] 'I keep tellin' you.'

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

That call had absolutely nothing with romance.

Synclaire, what did I tell you about keeping

office business at the office?

Unh‐unh, Synclaire. Unh‐unh, now come on now.

You know you wanna give me the details.

Regine, I said it's personal. I don't wanna talk about it.

Neither do you, Synclaire.

‐ So what's the dish? ‐ I'm dying to tell you.

I'd love to tell you, but you heard what Khadijah said

about keeping office business at the office.

[knock on door]

Hey, Max in the house.

Unfortunately, it's never your house.

What, what brings you here?

I just had to get some of your sunshine.

‐ Where's Khadijah? ‐ In a funk.

Somethin' is up with her

but Synclaire won't tell me what it is.

I'm supposed to keep office business at the office.

So let's pretend we're at the office.

Good. Khadijah owes $2000 to the printer.

He's threatened to cancel the next issue of our magazine.

[sighs] Good. Thank you.

Oh, no.

Well, when friends are in trouble

friends help each other out.

‐ Yes. ‐ Max, loan her the money.

Why don't you?

Because you're the high‐powered attorney

with the big salary and no man.

See what I'm saying? Sunshine!

I would offer Khadijah the money, but she wouldn't take it.

‐ And why not? ‐ 'Cause she can't handle it.

When we were in college, she borrowed $100 from me

for textbook. She didn't sleep until she paid that money off.

Gosh! She even got a job at Chucky Cheese

wearing a rat costume.

Ooh, I wanted to work at Chucky Cheese.

The turned me down. My head was too big for the head.

Anyway..

Trying to force money on her

is mistake numero uno and I won't do it.

In fact, I don't even think we should talk about it.

‐ Talk about what? ‐ Your money problems.

Wait, you know how you're not supposed to say something

but then your, your mouth starts talking anyway

and your brain starts telling your mouth.

"Don't you say that, don't you say that."

But then your mouth just won't listen.

[doorbell rings]

We hungry.

[knock on door]

Regine, we bask in the corona of your beauty.

Okay, come in.

Thank you.

You know, our cable just went out.

Yeah. Kyle wouldn't let me fix it.

Yeah, well, when the last time you fixed it

we didn't have the Playboy channel for a month.

We got the Playboy channel?

I'm embarrassed, yet intrigued.

We're having a little problem here.

My money is a little tight, but I got it under control.

Ah, please. $2000 in debt is hardly control.

Oh, I don't know, I haven't yanked that horse hair

out of your head. Now that's control.

You know, you know, Khadijah.

If money is your problem, baby, it would behoove you

to take advantage of a handsome stockbroker such as myself.

Now what you need to do is think of money as a tool, right‐‐.

Like a hammer.

See, a hammer put the nails in and take the nails out.

In money..

Yeah. Not so much like a hammer.

Umm, go ahead.

Now for just $1000 bite

I could double your money in six weeks.

What do you say? We got a sale?

Kyle, I owe $2000.

That means I don't have $1000.

So what are you wasting my time for?

Khadijah, this is silly.

Now I know you have a hard time borrowing money

but I'm gonna lend you what you need.

No, you won't. I can take care of myself.

Oh, what is the big deal about borrowing money?

I do it all the time. Sometimes, I even pay it back.

Ladies, ladies, see, this is just one of the many reasons

men rule the world. Ha ha ha.

Care to elaborate?

[scoffs] Well, it's true.

Men don't have these kind of problems.

See, you women are always haggling over pennies.

Men live it much too bold and intrepid a pace

to worry about such matters.

See, with us, it's like you get the beer

I get the bowlin', right, partner?

Yeah, but last week, I got the beer

the bowlin' and the bucket of extra crispy.

You're ruinin' my point in front of the ladies, man.

But you owe me $24, man.

I'm talkin' about the honor of men here.

Twenty four dollars is nothin', my brother.

Well, then give me my money.

Okay, I'll make it easy for you.

Give me two tens and sixteen quarters.

I'll give you your money as soon as you give me some receipts.

Look, as entertaining as this is

I'm goin' upstairs and solvin' my own problem

and y'all will not even think about it.

Okay, how are we gonna help her?

Okay, if Khadijah won't borrow the money

maybe we can raise it for her.

Okay, you may have something there.

‐ We could have a telethon. ‐ My mistake.

You know, whenever my daddy had a real hair scratchin'

he'd go down to the swimming hole

at the quarry and skip rocks.

Yeah, his favorites were the flatties.

He could skip a flattie nine, ten, maybe eleven times‐‐.

What has this got to do with helping Khadijah?

Y'all still on that?

Hey, hey, hey, listen up.

What if we throw a lingerie party?

My boss will give us the stuff from the boutique wholesale.

And then we could sell it here

and give the profits to Khadijah.

‐ Works for me. ‐ Me too.

The whole apartment full of ladies buying garter belts.

[chuckles] Just when I thought capitalism couldn't get any better.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. You're not invited.

Ha ha ha.

Mm‐hmm.

Aha, now this is pretty.

Uh, but it looks a little uncomfortable.

Girl, if you are in that more than five minutes

you're doin' somethin' wrong.

Well, at this price, I'm leavin' it on.

He's just gonna have to work around it.

Regine, we gotta get this stuff out of here.

Khadijah will be home any minute.

Alright. Model.

What is that?

Girl, you know I feel naked without my tool belt.

I will say this. You don't look half bad.

Yeah. And if I ain't had these knobby knees

I could've been a table dancer. Watch this.

[all cheering]

What the hell is goin' on here?

Uh, is this the broke chick

we're supposed to be helpin' out?

Alright, that's it. Be up out of here right now!

Get up out my house.

‐ Beat on.. ‐ Bye‐bye.

Bye‐bye now. Bye‐bye.

Bye‐bye now. Bye‐bye.

Overton, have some shame.

Bye‐bye.

Now, Khadijah, we were only trying to help.

I don't know how many ways I have to say this

before you all hear me.

I don't need your damn handouts.

Hello.

This is probably a bad time to bring this up

but the printer called and he said he could see

to that "Flavor" magazine is never printed again.

Ever.

Enough is enough.

Khadijah, it's time to push your ego aside and accept some help.

I'm writing you out a check right now.

Alright, now just hold it.

Alright, go ahead.

Wow, $2000.

I can pay off the printer, save "Flavor"

and owe you $2000.

I can't do it.

Oh, now I have to write void in my ledger.

I can't do it.

I mean, the thought of me owing you

owing anybody for that matter.

I just can't do it.

But it would be a business loan, right?

Yes.

Okay, then make it out to "Flavor."

No, no, no, no. Make it out to the printer.

No, then he'll know I don't have the money. Make it out to me.

I'm makin' it out to the society

for treatment of schizophrenic black women

who own magazines, okay?

Yeah.

I could do with this.

Thanks, Max.

[knock on door]

Pants.

Oh, I think this is Khadijah's best issue yet.

‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ Oh, look.

"Ten simple steps to smooth skin

luscious legs and a tasty butt."

[chuckles] Khadijah's got to introduce me to the woman that wrote that.

"By Prince."

I'm feeling sick.

I'm assuming these issues are paid for

and not boosted from the office.

See, to you, this might be somethin' you just read

in the bathroom and then just toss away.

But to me, it's my life.

And who ate all the ginger snaps?

Well, ever since she borrowed that money.

Khadijah's been just a little uptight.

Oh, please, that woman was born uptight.

Doctor slapped her, she slapped him back.

[knock on door]

Hey.

I got you now, buddy boy.

Bona fide receipts from our bowlin' night.

Yeah. See, I couldn't find mine

but the guy at the bowlin' alley had some duplicates.

I ain't sayin' he was happy to look for 'em.

But as it turns out, you don't owe me $24.

Ha ha. See, I told you.

You owe me 26 dollars and 72 cents.

There's a little thing called tax here.

Do we have to talk about this now in front of the ladies?

I don't care about them.

I want my 26 dollars and 72 cents.

What is all the noise up in here?

Kyle owe me 26 dollars and 72 cents.

You fussin' over $26?

Why don't you try strappin' 2000 on your back

and finding a cookie in this house?

[doorbell rings]

What's goin' on, girl?

Max, if you were gonna loan her the money

the least you could've done was stay here

and live with Cruella for the last couple of days.

Mm‐hmm. I was afraid of this. Maybe I should go talk to her.

This is kind of like "The Exorcist."

‐ What's goin' on, girl? ‐ Chillin'.

I heard you in here trippin'.

Drivin' everybody crazy.

Now I know you have a hard time borrowin' money

but believe me, it's no big deal.

‐ Well, who's sayin' it is? ‐ Not me.

I'm not havin' a problem with it.

Whenever I loan money, I just act like

I'm never gonna see it again.

‐ Fine. ‐ Good.

Now come on, it ain't major. Everybody's out here, let's go.

I handled it. Everything's copacetic.

What do you mean you're never gonna see your money again?

I didn't say that.

What I meant was I know I'd get my money back eventually.

No, no, no, you're gonna get your money back soon.

‐ Whatever. ‐ No, no, not whatever.

You're gonna get your money back.

Did a good job at handling this, Max.

Khadijah, if I'd known you're gonna trip like this again

I wouldn't have lent you the money in the first place.

Everybody hear that. She said it.

You have lost it.

Well, to be fair, you'd be a little crazy, too

if you owed your best friend $2000

and you have absolutely positively

no way to pay it back. Uh‐huh.

Okay, let's just stop, okay?

I didn't bail you out to make you crazy.

No, see, you don't have to bail me nothin'.

You're tap dancin' on my last nerve.

Now maybe it would be best for everybody

if you just give me my money back.

How would you like it in nickels in a sock?

You didn't have to go there.

But since you did, I will too.

I want my ducats by Monday.

No, no, you'll have your grit by Friday.

Oh, wow, money can really break up a friendship

and I mean, what's more important than friendship?

Kyle?

‐ What? ‐ I'm sorry.

Me, too, man.

‐ Righto, black man. ‐ Yeah.

Alright, listen up.

From now on, y'all bring your own mugs to work.

No more disposable company cups.

And no more personal calls on the company dime.

And the Xerox machine will now be a source of light and heat

as well as reproduction.

Khadijah, you probably didn't notice

but that slime from the malt and liquor company is here.

He said you called him. Ha!

‐ I did. Don't. ‐ But, Khadijah‐‐.

Mr. Sable, would you like to come in to my office?

Khadijah, when I left this office

I felt a special part of me die.

But now I am reborn into the warmth

and acceptance of your ample bosom.

[clears throat] Mr. Sable‐‐.

Uh, tut‐tut, Elmo.

Elmo.

Look, what I'd like to do is make arrangements

for a multi‐issue one for a fee of, say, $2000.

[scoffs] Glad to be in business with you, Khadijah.

And wait till you see the layout for next month's ad?

I call it 99 babes and a beer on the wall.

[laughs] Ninety nine babes and a beer on the wall.

If you could just write that check.

Sure.

What the hell are you doin'?

I just wanted you to have a picture

of the moment you sold out.

I'll get you a frame later.

‐ Ninety nine babes, huh? ‐ And a beer.

I can't do it.

I'd rather owe my friend a million dollars

than to be in business with you.

My magazine and your product don't mix.

You know, I really respect your strength and integrity.

And I've got to say it makes my nature rise.

Alright, that's it. I tried to be nice to you.

Now if you don't get your sorry, sleazy behind out of my office..

[doorbell rings]

Khadijah.

I got your messages. That mean we're talkin'?

No, I'm talkin'. You're listenin'.

Have a seat. You too.

Okay, here's the deal.

I called this meetin' to apologize.

You were wrong for tellin' my business.

You were wrong for gettin' in my business.

And you were wrong for gettin' into business with me.

I know that was hard for you, Khadijah.

You're such a gracious lady.

Shut up, I ain't finished.

Alright, now maybe I could've handled this whole thing better.

‐ Can I get an amen? ‐ Ha.

You said it, sister.

Khadijah, you did go a little crazy.

I mean, you sold the toaster.

‐ It was mine. ‐ The television.

‐ It was mine. ‐ The blender.

‐ That was mine. ‐ It was?

‐ Yeah. ‐ I was really buggin'.

Look, I mean, everybody tryin' to lend me money

tryin' to give me money, I'm not used to that.

I always had to hold things together.

I always had to be the strong one.

That's who I am.

That's your self‐portrait, honey.

Ain't nobody paintin' that picture but you.

Khadijah, borrowin' is the American way.

It's what this country was founded on.

It's, it's the basis of all our freedoms.

It's in the constitution.

That's not what it says in the constitution.

That's what I took from it.

Well, borrowin' between friends is one thing.

But never loan anything to a man especially if it's your man.

‐ Boy. ‐ Oh, hell.

Because six years later

he will walk away with 4000 of your dollars

and your entire Peabo Bryson collection

and you will end up with one pair

of his raggedy stank drawers

that he thought you looked so cute in.

[scoffs] You really miss him, don't you?

[sobs] Sometimes.

Girl, hold it together. Hold it down.

Listen, Max, I have no idea

when I'm gonna be able to pay you back.

Ah, girl, don't worry about it.

You see, I wasn't plannin' to.

From now on, you are 2% owner of "Flavor."

You'd give me a piece of your dream?

Girl, for $2000, I'd give you a pedicure.

And you know you got some crusty feet.

‐ Get the hell out of here. ‐ Look at that corn.

It's bursting out through the shoe.

‐ 'Shut the hell up.' ‐ Oh, how sweet.

The love in this room.

I don't know about you all, but I for one could use

a nice, frosty molten milkshake.

You, you, you, come on.

[indistinct chatter]

I will get the blender back.

[all clamoring]

(Khadijah) 'I told you, yo, you can't make a milkshake without a blender.'

(Regina) 'Yes, you can.'

(Synclaire) 'All we do is add more..'

'Add more milk and more cream and turn the mixer up.'

[all screaming]

(Max) 'I guess we should have put a cover on that bowl.'

(Regina) 'Oh, great. Now you got it in my hair.'

(Khadijah) 'Just take it off and wash it.'

(Max) 'It's not one of your better wigs anyway.'

(Regina) 'I'm not wearin' a wig.'

[all screaming]