Original subtitles

I'm always sad to say goodbye

to the makeup that has seen me through the day.

Goodbye, mascara.

So long, blush.

See you later, lipstick.

Synclaire, have you ever had a thought

you didn't feel like sharing?

Oh, at the office yesterday

I wondered what life would be like if we had toes on our hands

and fingers on our feet.

But you were so busy, I didn't wanna say anything.

Thank you.

Where's Regine?

Well, where else would the little diva be?

Juggling two dates again.

‐ She is really amazing. ‐ She's something.

I don't know how she does it.

♪ Check, check, check it out Check, check, check it out ♪

♪ Do you want no free position ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living ♪

♪ The single life yeah ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh, and in a nineties kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up, what keep your head up, that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life gets tough, you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue, it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ And in a nineties kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Haa ♪

To begin the game, player number one rolls three dice.

Now if the roll is eight or less

the player can move to the launching pad

or pick a Blasto card.

Now, if the roll is a multiple of seven

the player must take a card from

the Blasto deck marked "Lucky Seven."

Isn't there a simplified version of this game?

Well, hell, we're playing the children version as it is.

Max, just get in league. Now let's make a decision.

Do you wanna see this movie or not?

No, I refuse to pay seven fifty

to watch Denzel leave his shirt on.

Yeah.

Well, lets see the new Wesley Snipes movie.

I hear there's much nipples.

Alright.

Alright.

Which one of you ladies has my blue silk scarf?

My date will be here any minute

and I do feel naked without it.

You are naked without it.

Put some clothes on.

Khadijah, there's a big old head of broccoli at the door.

Max, even finding you here

does not change the fact that today is my lucky day.

Doctor discover a cure for ugly?

No, baby, you just gonna have to wait.

I just got my hands on these.

Two semi‐court side tickets

to the Knicks‐Bulls exhibition game.

Ooh. Long men in short shorts. Give me those tickets.

Loud and wrong again, Max.

Come on, Overton. Let's go man.

Why I got to leave just 'cause you get on their nerves?

‐ Hey, come here, man. ‐ What?

Besides I'm try to work up something with Synclaire.

Man, I went to the museum when they had that.

"Tools through the ages" exhibit, right?

‐ True. ‐ Then.

Synclaire, you mind if we pick this up some other time?

You know, it's, uh..

Oh, I understand, it's a man thing.

Which is different from a woman thing

'cause that usually involves bloating.

Synclaire, save just a little bit of the mystery, okay?

Synclaire, why don't you come out with us?

Oh, no, thank you.

I'm gonna stay at home and pumice my heels.

Now that is pathetic.

Synclaire, how many dates have you been on

since you moved to New York?

And by date, you mean..

Going out with someone of the opposite sex

who is not or at least only distantly related to you.

Oh, that kind of date.

Well, let's see. In the last six months, there was..

No, and then there was the, uh..

No dates.

Not a single date in six months?

I'd be sliding down the banister at city hall.

Back in Minneapolis, I didn't worry about things like this.

Guys would ask me out, my mom would say I couldn't go.

Well, your mama ain't here, so we gonna hook you up.

H‐h‐hold up.

A date is not gonna make Synclaire's life any better.

Now, Khadijah just 'cause you ain't getting any

don't mean your whole family has to go without.

Just because I'm not giving it away

with a double coupon don't mean I don't get some.

And plus, Synclaire can make up her own mind.

Now, Synclaire, do you want these two horny toads

hooking you up with some sorry excuse for a date?

Or do you wanna run your own life.

I wanna date.

Now, first on my list for Synclaire..

Is John Luckett.

He's an advertising exec. He's fine, he's funny.

He used to have a bad brownstone in Brooklyn.

Used to?

I represented his wife in the divorce.

Well, not to worry dear.

I have resources as yet untapped.

I thought you tapped everything in town.

And I thought you were staying out of this.

I am, but you just left yourself wide open.

Wide open.

Anyway, Synclaire.

To go out with a man just because he's fine is shallow.

You also have to be concerned with how much money he makes.

Now, of course, of course

it is not just the money.

It's how generous he is with that money.

And whether he's hung up on that damn prenuptial thing.

And there you have it.

Now, that we're through with Zsa‐Zsa's dating tips..

I have a few universal rules for you.

One.

No actors, no models.

Two. No butt, no date.

And most importantly

no man who's so in love with a basketball

that he can't even attend your law school graduation.

Then the minute your career takes off

he dumps you so fast, it leaves your head

spinning like a top in summertime.

Max, Max.

Max, come back.

Greg is gone, girl. He gone.

I know.

And I'm not bitter.

Well, I'm not looking for perfection.

I just want someone who's kind and gentle and sensitive

and loves all plants and animals.

Yeah, well, I can't help you.

So you're saying there's nobody out there like that?

Yes, a shepherd.

[knocking on door]

‐ Hi. ‐ Hey.

Once again, I'm victorious

in the battle of man versus machine.

Now, this little juicer not only

extracts the juice and separates the pulp

it can also debone a snapper for your next fish fry.

So, uh, what you up to?

Oh, they're setting me up on a date.

A date? With a dude?

Maybe even with a shepherd.

I used to be a shepherd.

Really?

No, I'm just lying for lack

of anything better to say at a time like this.

Here, I was just kidding about the juice and the snapper.

Yeah, well, uh, let's focus now, huh?

We gotta get Synclaire hooked up.

Now, come on, ya'll. There's got to be somebody.

Hello.

Now, you know that cute veterinarian around the corner?

Michael Edwards? Well, he asked me out.

He asked you out?

Yeah, this morning.

You mean you forced me

to sit through this stupid discussion

and all the time you had a doctor in your pocket?

Well, I was gonna say something but somebody mentioned

a shepherd and I got all excited.

I know what you're thinking.

If it'd only had breasts, right?

Yo, Overton, man. I just made fun of your hammer. What's up?

Man, they setting Synclaire up on a date.

With a dude?

‐ Whoo, that's deep, man. ‐ Who you telling, man?

I done spent much try to get with that girl.

Fixing her radiator.

Fixing her coffee maker, refrigerator.

Man, I was fixing stuff that wasn't even broke.

But you never asked her out, man.

I've been building up to it.

Was part of my big three point plan.

See, year one..

Hold, hold, hold.

Man, playing like that

year two, you and that hammer

gonna be catching a bouquet at Synclaire's wedding.

Now what you need is a little coaching

from the master, the man.

Billy D Williams?

No, man. Me.

Now, see, brother, what you have to remember

what is first and foremost

is that she's a woman and you're a man.

‐ She's a woman, I'm a man. ‐ Uh‐huh. Yeah.

And that's advice from the master.

Just pacing you, buddy. Just pacing you.

See, lesson number two is a bit more complex.

You see, a woman wants to be seduced.

Coaxed. Cajoled.

And teased. Hah!

Huh, huh? Yeah?

I don't get it.

Just think of her as a washing machine that's broke.

Now, you're talking. Now, you're talking.

Oh, God. Michael's gonna be here any minute.

I haven't been this nervous since I lost my tube top

at the deep end of Randy Johnson's pool.

Well, I'm sure no one noticed.

Whoo, look at you.

Which one of these two blind ladies did your make‐up?

Anyway, Synclaire

just be sure to be a good listener.

It lets men do what they do best.

‐ Talk about themselves. ‐ Okay.

I say dominate the conversation.

Men love it.

That means they have to do less thinking.

And if Michael says anything even remotely humorous

be sure and use the date laugh.

‐ Date laugh? ‐ Mm‐hmm.

You put one hand on your date, one hand on your chest.

[giggles]

See, it's the kind of laugh that says

"I'm amused and I have these."

No, forget the laugh.

The key is the walk.

Guaranteed to weaken even the strongest man.

Ooh, I can do that.

Synclaire, that walk ain't saying nothing

but "I have bunions and look at my butt."

And besides, here is where they should be looking.

Check ya'll out.

Synclaire is a grown woman.

She don't need anybody telling her how to walk

how to talk or how to dress.

Now zip that up.

[door bell ringing]

Oh, God, he's here.

‐ It's Michael, he's here. ‐ Alright, alright.

Now I'll get the door so that you can make an entrance.

I'm amused and I can walk and I have these.

I'm amused and I can walk and I have these.

You're the man, you're the man.

‐ Alright? ‐ Alright.

Overton, what are you doing here?

Speak, brother, speak.

Umm, umm..

‐ Evening. ‐ 'Evening.'

Oh, Michael.

Synclaire, you look..

‐ You look incredible. ‐ Thank you.

Hi, I'm Overton.

You a nice looking man.

Nice suit, nice shoes.

I got shoes.

They upstairs.

I gotta go.

So, Michael, where will you be dining

with our Synclaire this evening, hmm?

Well, if it's alright with Synclaire

I thought we'd try the Reeve Gosh.

I love French food.

Well, that sounds wonderful. Let's es‐car‐go.

‐ Absolutely wonderful. ‐ Thank you.

Bye‐bye.

She looks great.

‐ Yes, we did a fine job. ‐ Mm‐hmm.

I hope it goes well.

Wish we could see it.

Ya'll know that ain't right.

So what do you guys wanna do tonight?

‐ Movie. ‐ I don't like movies.

‐ Anybody hungry? ‐ Starving.

‐ French food. ‐ Magnifique.

She gonna need me.

So what made you wanna be a veterinarian?

Well, I've always loved animals.

Was always good in science in school

and after I saw Doctor Doolittle, I was hooked.

I love movies like that.

Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Zhivago, Dr. Strangelove.

Dr. No.

Here you are, madame.

Would anybody care for something to drink?

Water, please. Three.

Hors d'oevres?

No, thank you. We'll just nibble on these biscuits here.

Well, bon appetite, then.

So what's happening?

We really shouldn't be doing this.

Then why did you take the good seat, Miss Do‐the‐right‐thing?

Now, come on. Tell us what's going on.

Well, he's leaning over.

Good shows interest.

No, I don't think so. Just reaching for a roll.

‐ Ah! ‐ Oh!

Alright, I can't take this.

I have got to see for myself.

I have the worse sense of direction in the world.

I cannot get on a subway without getting lost.

‐ You, too? ‐ Yeah.

When I take the train the way I don't wanna go

I usually end up where I wanna be.

No.

[chuckles]

Oh, my goodness.

Her laugh is all wrong.

And she's no where near her cleavage.

Show him cleave.

Show him cleave.

Now we put too much time into this date

for it to not be going well.

Amen. Garcon.

Have you decided what you'd like?

Yes, to borrow your pen.

Well, I don't seem to have a need for it

at the moment, do I?

Be a love and take this

to that table over there.

Please?

I'll have the goat cheese salad.

And to whom would you like this delivered?

Woman over there with the bald dude in bouffant.

Then the penguin says

"I will have a martini."

Do you have a beer to the guy I'm sitting on?

[both laugh]

There a problem, baby?

Oh, no, just letting you know

I'm amused and I have these.

Aren't those your friends over there?

Yes, and I'm so embarrassed.

Let's just try to ignore them.

‐ Hey, that's fine by me. ‐ Okay.

Excuse me? I have a message.

No, you and your note passing

have caused enough trouble already.

A message for Dr. Edwards.

Never mind.

There seems to be a telephone call for you, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry I gave the office my number. I'll be right back.

Okay.

So, how's it going?

Pardon my French.

But what the heck are you doing here?

We just came to make sure you were okay.

No, you didn't. You came because you're nosy.

That, too.

You know, back home, I had only one overbearing mother.

Here, I've got three.

And when my mom would follow me out

on a date, she never came to the table.

She had the class to stay at the bar.

Now, please.

May I finish my date on my own? Thank you.

You know, I don't appreciate you going off on me.

But I'm glad that you stood up for yourself.

Good. Now, get out of here!

Don't push it, alright? 'Cause you know you ain't too big yet.

Umm, I'm‐I'm really sorry. That was my service.

Someone called in a panic about a dog.

Oh, no.

Please forgive me. I have to go.

Can I drop you off on the way?

Oh, don't you worry about me.

There's a puppy out there

with a warm dry nose who needs your help.

Now, go.

Thank you for being so understanding.

Thank you.

We're gonna have to do this again. Okay? Just you and me.

‐ Okay. ‐ Alright.

‐ Goodnight. ‐ Bye‐bye.

Thanks for the phone, man.

Oh, yeah. And the, uh, two bills I promised you..

Two whole dollars.

There are no words, sir.

Overton, what are you doing here?

Oh, I always come here for the French fries.

They so authentic.

‐ Uh, mind if I sit down? ‐ Oh, please.

Alright, look.

I know I'm not no big time doctor.

And I know I'm not the most handsome man in the world.

And I know I'm not rich.

Yeah.

Just going over things I know.

Oh.

But there's one thing I do know.

I'd really be honored to have dinner with you tonight.

Oh, well, so would I.

Hey, how I'm doing?

Let's eat.

Oh, thank you for such a wonderful evening.

I never knew you were such a good bowler.

Oh, girl, I'm a man of many hidden talents.

Really? Like what else?

I don't know. They all hidden.

So..

So..

Thanks again.

‐ Goodnight. ‐ Goodnight.

Well, I guess I don't have to ask how the evening went

seeing as how your standing on this side of the door.

Uh‐uh, buddy boy.

Check it out.

Oh, lipstick.

And just inches away from your lips.

For you, I guess that's pretty good for year one, huh?

Are you kidding? Hell, I'm six months ahead of schedule.

‐ Watch dog. ‐ Bow wow.

Steppin' lightly like a woodpecker with a headache..

[indistinct chattering.

And then Overton and I took turns

ordering things from the menu

and guessing what they were.

Sounds like a fun time was had by all.

And that Dr. Michael left three messages.

He definitely wants to get with you again.

Well, I'll just have to check my social calendar.

Gosh, I have a social calendar. Ah!

Well, Synclaire, I gotta give it to ya.

I mean, you went from having no date in six months

to having two dates in one night.

Yes, well, I'm just glad this one's over.

First dates aren't easy.

‐ Hear, hear. ‐ No, no, ladies. I disagree.

See, the first dates are when you can get

the most out of them.

Well, that's before they know they ain't gettin'

none at the end of the night.

The bottom line is

it all goes down to the last

sixty seconds of the date.

Do I, don't I.

Will I, won't I.

Should I, shouldn't I.

Oh, hell. Come on in.

[all laugh]

(Synclaire) If a player lands on a space marked "Captured by Martians"

he or she must roll double sixes

or have a light speed to the next solar system card.

The proceeding player then has the opportunity to purchase

their spaceship or roll the special dice

marked "Black Hole Dice"

to advance them to the next galaxy level.

If the player chooses not to roll the dice

he or she can send a player of their choice

to the tarmac for re‐ignition.

If the spinner lands on Neptune, the person to the right

of the spinner must tap that person on the shoulder

and say "Blasto" three times.

Okay! I think we're ready to start.