Original subtitles

♪ Check check check it out check check check it out ♪

♪ What you want? No free position ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living the single life yeah ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up what? ♪

♪ Keep your head up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Haa ♪

[phone rings]

[British accent] Hello. "Flavor" magazine.

The freshest taste in news and views.

How may I help you, love?

Synclaire, what are you doin'?

I'm making them think we're international.

Make them think we need some money.

A‐and keep in mind, this is a Grassroots Publication.

Got it.

Yo, yo, yo! How could I hook you up, G?

Hello, ladies.

I've got good news and I couldn't wait

till you got home to rub your noses in it.

Well, if it isn't her royal heinie.

Look outside. What is long, black and at the curb?

I ain't touchin' it.

Honey, it's a stretch limo.

Well, good, it'll go with your stretch marks.

Is it me or do I sense a little tension here?

Now, I know your Aries rising

is constantly conflicting with her Taurus moon

but can't we all just get along?

Well, look, you all can do whatever you like.

I just came by to tell you that the limo outside

happens to belong to my new boyfriend, Brad.

Well, if we didn't have so much work to do here

we'd love to hear more about your latest canine catch.

Oh, would you?

Well, Brad and I, we were on our way to lunch

but we never made it out of the limo.

He ate caviar from my cleavage

and we drank champagne from my shoe.

Ah!

With them big old feet of yours

y'all must have been crazy drunk.

I'm telling you, Brad, now he could be the one.

He is fine, educated, wealthy

and has a butt that's dented on the sides

with the promise of power.

Hoo!

Yeah! Whoo!

Well, we'll see how long this one lasts.

Oh, wait a minute. What is that supposed to mean?

Men dump you like Eddie Murphy albums.

Look, Regine, if you wanna have a lasting relationship

you need to start lookin' beyond a man's wallet.

Wait a minute. Are you saying that I am shallow?

As a kiddy pool.

[phone rings]

"Flavor" magazine.

Oh, cool.

Oh, we're looking forward to havin' her on the cover.

She can't? Why not?

Well, my secretary was supposed to send..

'...the, um..'

Never mind.

Thank you. Bye.

Synclaire, that was Maya Angelou's office on the phone.

Apparently, she can't do my cover

because she didn't receive the questions.

Yes, well, that sounds like a personal problem.

I think I'll have Brad's limo

take me past the boutique, so those losers I work with

can finally have a reason to hate me.

[scoffs] Smooches.

I'm sorry. It's just I've been really busy

working on my cosmetology thesis.

Purple Lipstick, The Black Woman's Enemy.

Look, look, Synclaire

I'm sure whatever school you going to this week

is important to you

but you came to Brooklyn to help me with my magazine.

Now I'm gonna get you somebody else for that cover.

Don't get your panties in a bunch.

No, no, no. You've done enough.

Now if I want this done right, I'm gonna have to do it myself.

Oh, who can I get with no notice?

Mike Tyson. I know where he is.

He's gonna be there for a while.

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪

Now you see, these little devils

can be very, very tricky to fix.

And what you never ever want to do

is to touch this wire right here.

You thought I was going to touch it, didn't you?

Just a little handyman humor.

I fall for that every time.

You've probably worked up quite a thirst.

Why don't I get us a beverage?

[doorbell rings]

Sookie, sookie, now. Oh!

Kyle!

I should have known I'd find you here.

Look, I thought you were gonna fix the TV

before the game starts.

I'm tryin' to fix things right here.

Man, you still tryin' to get with Synclaire?

Man, I'm weavin' a delicate web of trust

and it's startin' to work too.

Now today, she let me fix the vacuum

but I figure once I get up under that sink, I'm in there.

My brother, this ain't "Home Improvement."

Take notes, dealing with a woman

is like playing a basketball game.

And brothers like you dribble around the perimeter

fixin' vacuum cleaners.

While a man like me..

Drives straight up the middle and slams.

[laughs]

Refreshments?

Yeah, but you remember that time that girl called

that three‐second violation on your ass.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Look. I thought we took a solemn vow not to talk about that.

Man, it only happened once. It was a mental block.

It could happen to anybody.

Well, it never happened to me.

'Cause you never get any.

Well, that's true, but when I do get some

you better believe I ain't havin' no damn mental block.

Nah.

You will if I take that hammer

and knock you upside the head with.

Don't be touchin' my tools, man.

Uh, sit down. It's just a hammer.

Just a hammer?

Just a hammer? Brother, this is a heirloom.

Passed down from my great, great granddaddy

who passed it down to my daddy's daddy

who passed it on to the guy I thought was my daddy..

Who passed it on to me.

Yes, well, did you tell him

it was for the cover of "Flavor" magazine?

Well, did you tell him I watched every episode

of "You Bet Your Life?"

Hello? Hello?

Damn. I should've told him I ate Jell‐O.

Khadijah, why are you still calling people?

Didn't you take that great lead I gave you?

Yeah. Turns out Nipsey Russell's doin' dinner theater.

Oh, man, I heard he got the lead in "Gypsy."

Damn, that man can act.

Alright, which one of you lucky people is going to zip me up?

Not me, baby. You know unzipping is my forte.

[scoffs]

[doorbell rings]

Alright, everyone, that's him.

So come on, come on, everyone, look happy.

Khadijah, do your best.

Oh, it's just you. Don't you ever go home?

Good to see you, too, girl. Where you going?

Carnival? Ha!

Max, my ace. What's up, baby girl?

Today, my look and my law were fierce.

I got my client the house, the Winnebago, alimony

and 70% of all the assets he tried to conceal.

I left that man with nothing but a lint ball

and half a Tic Tac. Ha!

Don't touch me unless you want to get burned!

Work, Miss Honey! Get the fever! You go, girl.

You give it to 'em.

I feel sorry for the brother.

Kyle, these people own a Winnebago.

You should know they ain't black.

Look, you women will take the nuts from a squirrel.

We're out of here. Come on, man, let's go.

Well, someone's gotta protect women's rights.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, all this women's right stuff

just proves one thing.

‐ What? ‐ You want me.

Yeah, and me too.

Ow!

That Overton is so sweet.

Synclaire, cuz, listen to me.

You must never, ever, ever conceive a child with that man.

[doorbell rings]

It's him! It's him!

Ladies, on the other side of that door

stands Michelangelo's David, aka my Brad.

Uh, and on this side of the door

stands a woman who could give a..

Damn, he fine.

Oh, and good technique.

And big feet.

[clears throat] Regine, aren't you gonna introduce us?

[chuckles] Brad, girlfriends.

Girlfriends, Brad. Night‐night.

Uh, Brad Hamilton, pleasure to meet you.

Oh, how do you do?

So, Brad. Hi. I'm Khadijah.

So do you rent or own?

I am renovatin' a townhouse.

Where'd you go to school?

The Cordon Bleu in France.

Ah, you're a chef. Would you like some cheese?

No, thanks.

S‐so tell me, Brad, do you have a steady job?

I own a supper club up in Harlem.

‐ 'Oh.' ‐ The Blue Bayou.

And I hear you've started your own magazine.

Yeah. It's sort of an urban everything you need to know

from a woman's point of view.

Yes, well, we'd love to stay

but boring conversation isn't on our schedule.

Ciao.

Uh, bonsoir.

Ooh, merci.

Well, she actually did alright for herself this time.

Mm‐hmm. Brother got it goin' on.

I don't know. He's no Overton.

♪ What you want girlfriend 'cause it's your world haa ♪

Hi. I'd like to take out a full‐page ad for my restaurant.

I can handle that for you.

Okay, well, here's our logo and a check.

Okay. "Blue Bayou. Tianna Graham and Brad Hamilton."

‐ Oh, I know Brad. ‐ Oh, really?

How do you know my husband?

How do I know your h‐husband?

Uh, how do I know your husband?

Mm‐hmm.

Did I say I knew your husband? My mind. Go figure.

Anyhoo, uh, thank you very much.

Uh, I have to go to the rest room. Bye‐bye.

Psst!

♪ Aah ♪

Girl, I can't believe Brad is married.

You'd think after God created dogs.

She'd know creating men was redundant.

Regine's gonna be devastated. She sincerely loved him.

Well, it was bound to happen.

Eventually, we all get crushed by the male libido.

I was in love once.

Max, please. Don't tell the story again.

Then when my career got on track and his didn't

he just up and left.

Just packed his little, raggedy duffel bag and left.

But I ain't bitter.

So who's gonna break this tragic news to Regine?

‐ I ain't the one. ‐ Don't look at me.

Oh, so I'm the one, huh? I mean, come on.

She'll probably appreciate us telling her.

Wrong. She gonna resent us for knowin' about it first.

Tell us we're makin' it up 'cause we're jealous.

Or accuse us of tryin' to steal Brad.

I say she finds out on her own.

‐ Okay‐‐ ‐ Not another word‐‐.

Great news, ladies.

Brad is picking me up.

We're going to Martha's Vineyard for the weekend.

He wants to get away from the city.

That's not all he wants to get away from.

I'm filing this man under F

for fine, fabulous and my future.

Hmm. Somethin' tells me he might like a wife.

[chuckles] Y‐you know your man.

Say, you two should start looking for a new roommate.

R‐Regine, hold up, yo. There's something we gotta tell you.

And trust us, we're not saying this to hurt you.

Really, I can't stand to see a sister go out like this.

Well, how do I put this delicately?

Brad is married!

What?

What are you talkin' about?

No, he's not. I mean, he doesn't wear a wedding ring.

Now she's got a point there.

And if he's married, why didn't he tell me?

'Cause he's married, girl.

Regine, I'll bet he always pays cash at restaurants

so he can't be tracked down by the receipts.

‐ 'Mm‐hmm.' ‐ Only because he hates credit.

And does he whisper on the phone when you're in the room?

He's a very private person.

And does he always have some ridiculous excuse

as to why you can't call him at home?

No, no, his, his grandfather's hearin' aid is broken.

It, it bothers him when the phone rings. What?

Look, Regine, listen to me.

Look, listen.

As much as I love to be right

and you know mother does love to be right

I'm telling you, I wish I was wrong this time.

Girl, the man is married.

Girlfriend, he took us all.

Go ahead, Regine. Let it out.

Cry.

If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up

and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry.

Just when we thought it was safe to let you back

into the conversation.

So he's been lyin' to my face, huh?

Rubbin' up against me, talking about.

"Oh, baby, my baby."

Who does he think he is?

[doorbell rings]

There's Mr. Bigamy now.

‐ It's showtime! ‐ It's on.

‐ Hi, baby‐‐ ‐ I am not your baby tonight.

You have a wife.

[chuckles] But, Reggie..

Right now, he talkin' about, I was gonna tell you, baby.

I was gonna tell you, baby.

He'll also try, I was just looking for the right time.

I was just looking for the right time.

How do you know everything he's gonna say?

He's a man. They never vary from the script.

Reggie, I understand why you're angry.

I just want a chance to explain, please?

Just give me a few minutes.

How about we go somewhere, so we can talk?

Now she's going to kick him to the curb.

‐ My girl! ‐ Alright, girl, you did it!

I can't believe this.

Well, that was awfully polite of her to walk him outside.

♪ We are living single ♪

No, no, don't hang up.

Don't even think about hangin' up

without putting Slappy on the phone!

Do you know how degrading it is to get hung up on

by Slappy White's manager who doubles as his cook?

I might as well just give up on gettin' a celebrity

for this cover.

Khadijah, why don't you just write

a really great cover article

something that will grab your reader's attention?

You're just tryin' to make me forget you lost my cover.

Maybe.

So, uh, anybody seen Regine?

She upstairs gettin' ready to go out with Brad again.

So what do you have against the brother, anyway?

His wife.

You know, I dated a married woman once.

‐ Really? ‐ No. I'm just lyin'.

Tryin' to get attention again.

Whoo! Mm. Look at that dress.

It has just a hint of I'm easy

with a tinge of I need a job.

[laughs]

So I see you all are stayin' home again, hmm?

Oh, yes. We're all sittin' around like, oh, I don't know

wives whose husbands are cheating on them

but, uh, don't let that ruin your night.

You go on out now. Have some fun.

Look, his marriage was over before he met me

and he's leaving his wife.

You know, I should put you on the cover of my magazine.

"Flavor's" fool of the year.

I know that you don't agree with my decision

to keep seein' Brad, but I gotta trust him.

I know that he is goin' to leave his wife

and then he's gonna marry me

and we can put this whole thing behind us.

Why do you let this man play you like this?

Word! Don't you know it's all game?

I can take care of myself, alright?

Well, fine. If you say so, Miss Girl.

Put on your fake airs and your fake lashes

and just tramp your fake behind on out of here

'cause Khadijah don't need ya.

Well, fine. I will. I'm gone.

‐ She's stupid, man. ‐ I can't believe this.

I forgot. Brad is pickin' me up.

Girl, you'd better be careful. I hear that man got a wife.

You know, Regine, honey.

I don't think he's coming.

Shut up!

Mm. Chocolate, huh?

Brad never showed up, did he?

No, alright, Khadijah.

So just go ahead. Give me what I got coming.

Nah. Too easy.

Why does this keep happenin' to me?

'Cause you keep lookin' for someone to carry you.

‐ Well, what's wrong with that? ‐ They keep dropping your ass.

All I want is the best.

I mean, I want a man that knows that fine wine

doesn't come with a twist‐off cap.

You know, I don't know how you got to be so snooty.

You ain't but one generation out the projects your damn self.

So what? I'm not supposed to want more?

Of course. You can get it on your own.

You can do anything. You're a woman.

Hear you roar!

I'm agreeing with you.

Look. Regine, it's simple.

You gotta start taking care of yourself.

I mean, put Regine first.

Do what you need to do for you.

Hmm. You're absolutely right, Khadijah.

Mother always is.

[laughs]

You know, I think, uh, I think I'm gonna go shoppin' tomorrow.

Get my hair done. Maybe buy some hair.

Um, that's, that's not exactly what I had in mind

but I guess you could start there.

The bottom line is

men are nothing but speed bumps on the road to happiness.

‐ You're right. ‐ No, no.

I think they're more like cheap pantyhose.

At the worst possible moment, they run on you.

‐ 'Mm‐hmm.' ‐ 'Yes!'

You done hit it. You done hit it.

But did you ever stop to think

about what the world would be like without men?

A bunch of fat, happy women and no crime.

[laughs]

I just came back from the newsstand.

"Flavor" magazine is completely sold out.

‐ Alright, girl! ‐ Congratulations!

Your featured article was inspirin', girl.

Dope title, huh?

"Dating Married Men, The Sleeping Dog That Lies."

Well, it sounds great. What's it about?

You're gonna have to read it.

‐ Oh. Remember this? ‐ Hey, yeah!

This used to be the jam.

‐ Oh, no. ‐ Hold up.

♪ I got sunshine ♪

♪ On a cloudy day ♪

♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ When it's cold outside ♪

♪ I got the month of May ♪

Go ahead, break it down good.

♪ I guess you'd say ♪

♪ What can make me feel this way? ♪

♪ My girl ♪ ♪ My girl ♪

♪ Which girl? ♪

♪ Talkin' 'bout my girl ♪

♪ My girl ow ♪

♪ I've got so much money ♪

♪ Y'all envy me ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ I've got the sweeter song baby ♪

Break it down.

♪ Than the birds in the tree ♪

Oh, yes.

♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ I guess you'd say ♪

♪ What can make me feel this way? ♪

♪ My girl my girl my girl ♪

♪ Talkin' 'bout my girl ♪

Work it out, cuz!

♪ My girl ♪

‐ Oh, the bump! ‐ Do the bump now.

[theme music]

♪ Haa ♪