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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
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and welcome to our concert.
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What you’ve just heard was the overture
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to Leonard Bernstein’s ‘Candide’.
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Which is not to be confused with
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Voltaire’s Candide
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upon which it is based.
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Voltaire’s Candide is a small novella
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in which nobody sings,
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whereas Bernstein’s Candide is a large operetta
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in which they never stop singing.
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We begin our story in Westphalia – to be precise,
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in Schloss Thunder-ten-Tronck.
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This is the home of the Baron and Baroness,
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and of four very happy young people
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happy because they know they are
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living in the best of all possible schlosses
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in the best of all possible countries
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in the best of all possible worlds.
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And the happiest of them all is our hero, Candide:
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gentle
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pure
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innocent
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but, sadly, illegitimate ...
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Life is happiness indeed
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mares to ride and books to read
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Though of noble birth I’m not
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I’m delighted with my lot
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Though I’ve no distinctive features
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and I’ve no official mother
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I love all my fellow creatures
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and the creatures love each other!
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Next happiest is probably
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the serving maid, Paquette
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who also lacks the burden
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of noble birth, but does
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enjoy the honour of undressing the Baroness,
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an honour which she occasionally performs
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for the Baron as well,
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when the other servants are busy.
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As for the Baron and Baroness’s
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noble son and daughter,
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the awesomely vain Maximilian
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and the exhaustingly rapturous Cunegonde,
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their happiness is only slightly clouded
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by the difficulty of deciding which of them
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is the lovelier.
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Life is happiness unending
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being rich and condescending
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when your blood is at its bluest
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inconveniences are fewest
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The days are filled with pleasure
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racing horses, chasing leisure
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shooting pheasants in the presence
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of the hungry, gaping peasants.
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If the locals seem to hate us
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that’s the
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price you pay for social status.
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Sad to say, there’s no escaping
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all the bowing, all the scraping;
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still it’s true that being well-bred
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helps you deal with those who sell bread.
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Born with everything I need,
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Life is happiness indeed
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Life is happiness indeed
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I have everything I need
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I am rich and unattached
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and my beauty is unmatched
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with the rose my only rival
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I admit to some frustration
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what a pity its survival
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is of limited duration!
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Life is happiness indeed
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and who is to blame for all this happiness?
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Why, none other than the best of all
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possible philosophers, Dr Pangloss
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who holds all Westphalia in the palm of his hand
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and the hollow of his head, with his
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philosophy on ‘optimism’.
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Let us review lesson eleven
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paragraph two, axiom seven
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once one dismisses
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the rest of all possible worlds
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one finds that this is
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the best of all possible worlds.
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Once one dismisses
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the rest of all possible worlds
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one finds that this is
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the best of all possible worlds.
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Pray classify pigeons and camels.
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Pigeons can fly,
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camels are mammals.
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There is a reason
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for everything under the sun;
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there is a season
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for everything under the sun.
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Any questions?
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What about snakes?
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Snakes ...
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’Twas snake that tempted mother eve
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because of snake we now believe
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that though depraved
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we can be saved
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from hellfire and damnation
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because of snake’s temptation.
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If snake had not seduced our lot
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and primed us for salvation
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Jehovah could not pardon all
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the sins that we call cardinal
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involving bed and bottle.
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Now on to Aristotle
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Mankind is one
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all men are brothers
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as you’d have done
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do unto others
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it’s understood in
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this best of all possible worlds
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all’s for the good in
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this best of all possible worlds.
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Any questions?
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What about war?
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War ...
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Though war may seem a bloody curse
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it is a blessing in reverse
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when cannon roar
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both rich and poor
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by danger are united
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’til ev’ry wrong is righted
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philosophers make evident
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The point that I have cited
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’Tis war makes equal, as it were
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the noble and the commoner
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thus war improves relations
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Now on to conjugations:
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amo, amas, amat, amamus
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amo, amas, amat, amamus
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proving that this is
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the best of all possible worlds;
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with love and kisses
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the best of all possible worlds.
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Quod erat demonstrandum!
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Q.E.D.
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Quod erat demonstrandum!
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Q.E.D.
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Amo, amas, amat, amamus
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Quod erat demonstrandum
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In this best of all possible worlds!
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Quod erat demonstrandum!
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Q! E! D!
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Conclusion?
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We have learned and understood
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everything that is, is good
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everything that is, is planned
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is wisely planned, is right and good.
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Class dismissed!
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At this point, Candide observes Dr Pangloss
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giving Paquette a private lesson
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in very basic physics.
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Inspired by their example,
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Candide and Cunegonde look forward eagerly
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to the marital joys that await them.
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Soon, when we feel we can afford it,
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we’ll build a modest little farm;
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we’ll buy a yacht and live aboard it
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rolling in luxury and stylish charm.
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Cows and chickens,
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social whirls,
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peas and cabbage,
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ropes of pearls.
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Soon there’ll be little ones beside us
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We’ll have a sweet Westphalian home
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Somehow we’ll grow as rich as Midas
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We’ll live in Paris when we’re not in Rome
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Smiling babies,
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marble halls,
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Sunday picnics
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costume balls.
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Oh, won’t my robes of silk and satin
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be chic! I’ll have all that I desire
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Pangloss will tutor us in Latin
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and Greek, while we sit before the fire.
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Glowing rubies,
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glowing logs,
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faithful servants,
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faithful dogs.
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We’ll round the world enjoying high life,
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all bubbly pink champagne and gold.
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We’ll lead a rustic and a shy life
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feeding the pigs and sweetly growing old.
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Breast of peacock,
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apple pie,
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I love marriage.
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So do I.
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Oh, happy pair!
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Oh, happy we!
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It’s very rare
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How we agree
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oh, happy pair!
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Oh, happy we!
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It’s very rare
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How we agree
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Oh, happy pair!
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Oh, happy we!
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It’s very rare
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How we agree
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What are you doing to my sister?
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You can’t do that to my sister!
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All was consternation
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in the best of all possible schlosses.
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Cunegonde was dragged away by the Baroness,
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who then boxed her ears, and Candide was kicked
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from the castle by the Baron himself.
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Out!
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Out!
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Out?
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Out!!
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My Candide!
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Exiled from Paradise, poor Candide is all alone,
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with only his faith in ‘Optimism’ to cling to.
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My world is dust now
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and all I love is dead
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Oh, let me trust now
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to what my master said
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There is a sweetness in ev’ry woe’
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It must be so
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It must be so
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The dawn will find me
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alone in some strange land
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but men are kindly
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they’ll give a helping hand
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So said my master, and he must know
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It must be so
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It must be so
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The helping hand mankind finally extends
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to Candide is attached to soldiers from
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the Bulgarian Army, who promptly railroad
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him into military service against
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Westphalia itself.
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Now, before we go on,
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it’s important for you all to understand
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that in Voltaire’s day Europe was a veritable
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hotbed of nationalistic sentiment, with
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territorial armies swarming hither and yon,
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hacking each other to bits over nothing
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more important than a slight difference in
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religion or ancestry. I know that’s very
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hard to imagine now...
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Candide, having no wish to kill anyone,
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attempts to desert, but is caught and
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offered a choice: 36 strokes of the lash
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from every man in the regiment
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or twelve bullets in the brain.
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As he ponders his decision ... War breaks out.
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In the midst of the battle we find the Baron
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and his family leading all Westphalia
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in solemn prayer.
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fa re fa si la sol fa fa
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Sieg heil to our Westphalia!
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What power’s ours to command!
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The mightiest in this mighty land!
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Sieg heil, Westphalia!
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Westphalia is taken by surprise ...
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Everyone is massacred –
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Maximilian, the Baron, Paquette
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and Pangloss himself. The Baroness
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is cut to pieces, Cunegonde ravished before
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being bayoneted to death.
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Amongst the ruins, Candide searches
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for her corpse.
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Cunegonde!
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Cunegonde!
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Cunegonde!
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Cunegonde, is it true?
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Is it you, so still and cold, love?
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Could our young joys, just begun
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not outlast the dying sun?
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When such brightness dies so soon
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can the heart find strength to bear it?
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shall I ever be consoled, love?
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No I swear it
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by the light of this lover’s moon
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though I must see tomorrow’s dawn
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my heart is gone where you are gone
284
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Cunegonde!
285
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:25,520
Cunegonde!
286
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:13,200
Alone and starving, Candide is reduced
287
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,760
to begging, but his tender heart leads him
288
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,880
to squander the few coins he is given on
289
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,120
an old vagrant even less fortunate than himself
290
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:27,440
with a tin nose and stumps for fingers
291
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,360
– the ravages of syphilis.
292
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:33,800
Thank you.
293
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,120
In the first of many eye-popping
294
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,800
impossibilities and coincidences
295
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,080
Candide recognizes his master,
296
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:47,600
Dr Pangloss, who cheerfully explains
297
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,960
his lamentable condition.
298
00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:01,960
Dear boy, you will not hear me speak
299
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:04,920
with sorrow or with rancour
300
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,720
of what has shrivelled up my cheek
301
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,120
and blasted it with canker
302
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,880
’Twas love, great love, that did the deed
303
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,200
through nature’s gentle laws
304
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:20,160
and how should ill effects proceed
305
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,160
from so divine a cause?
306
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,800
Dear boy
307
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,720
sweet honey comes from bees that sting
308
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,040
as you are well aware
309
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,560
To one adept in reasoning
310
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,880
whatever pains disease may bring
311
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:47,120
are but the tangy seasoning
312
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:52,640
to love’s delicious fare
313
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,040
sweet honey comes from bees that sting
314
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,920
dear boy
315
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,200
sweet honey comes from bees that sting
316
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,000
dear boy
317
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:06,600
sweet honey bees that sting
318
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,520
Columbus and his men, they say
319
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,720
conveyed the virus hither
320
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,520
whereby my features rot away
321
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,040
and vital powers wither
322
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,080
Yet had they not traversed the seas
323
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,640
and come infected back
324
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,560
why, think of all the luxuries
325
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:35,120
that modern life would lack
326
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,760
Dear boy
327
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,560
all bitter things conduce to sweet
328
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,800
as this example shows
329
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,840
without the little spirochete
330
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:53,560
we’d have no chocolate to eat
331
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:58,040
nor would tobacco’s fragrance greet
332
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:03,000
the European nose
333
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,480
all bitter things conduce to sweet
334
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,880
dear boy
335
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,880
all bitter things conduce to sweet
336
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,360
dear boy
337
00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:16,320
all bitter things to sweet
338
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,480
Each nation guards its native land
339
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,800
with cannon and with sentry
340
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,480
inspectors look for contraband
341
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,480
at ev’ry point of entry
342
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,080
yet nothing can prevent the spread
343
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,840
of love’s divine disease
344
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,560
it rounds the world from bed to bed
345
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:45,800
as pretty as you please
346
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,400
Dear boy
347
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,840
Men worship Venus ev’rywhere
348
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,200
as may be plainly seen
349
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:00,000
her decorations which I bear
350
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:04,040
are nobler than the croix de guerre
351
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,120
and gained in service of our fair
352
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,320
and universal queen
353
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,160
en worship Venus ev’rywhere
354
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,240
dear boy
355
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,080
men worship Venus ev’rywhere
356
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:20,480
dear boy
357
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:27,600
men worship ev’rywhere
358
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,560
Dear boy!
359
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,680
Candide and Dr Pangloss board
360
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,680
a crowded ship bound for Lisbon.
361
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,920
But there is a fearful storm,
362
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,400
and the ship splits in half and sinks.
363
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:10,640
All arbitrarily die, except for our two heroes,
364
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:14,840
who float ashore on a handy wooden plank.
365
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,560
At which moment, quite unexpectedly,
366
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,880
a nearby volcano spectacularly erupts.
367
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,040
30,000 souls pointlessly die,
368
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,760
no doubt for the best of all possible reasons.
369
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,360
Candide and Pangloss, being foreigners,
370
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:40,480
are blamed of course, and accused
371
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:41,760
of being heretics.
372
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,400
They find themselves in the middle
373
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,560
of the Spanish Inquisition and its
374
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,280
favourite pastime, the auto-da-fé.
375
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,200
What a day, what a day
376
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,040
for an auto-da-fe!
377
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:04,840
what a sunny summer sky!
378
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,400
What a day, what a day
379
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,040
for an auto-da-fe!
380
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:09,840
It’s a lovely day for drinking
381
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,680
and for watching people fry!
382
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:13,080
What a day, what a day
383
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,760
for an auto-da-fe!
384
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:16,600
What a sunny summer sky!
385
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,320
What a day, what a day
386
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,080
for an auto-da-fe!
387
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:21,840
It’s a lovely day for drinking
388
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,440
and for watching people fry!
389
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:25,200
Hurry, hurry, hurry
390
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:25,960
Hurry, hurry, hurry
391
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:26,760
Hurry, hurry, hurry
392
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:27,600
Watch ’em die!
393
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:30,240
Hurry, hurry, hurry
394
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:31,120
Hurry, hurry, hurry
395
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:32,040
Hurry, hurry, hurry
396
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:32,920
Hang ’em high!
397
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:34,440
What a day, what a day
398
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,160
for an auto-da-fe!
399
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:37,920
What a sunny summer sky!
400
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,600
What a day, what a day
401
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,400
for an auto-da-fe!
402
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,160
It’s a lovely day for drinking
403
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,680
and for watching people fry!
404
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,400
What a day, what a day!
405
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,760
Oh, what a day, what a day!
406
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,160
Oh, what a day!
407
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:27,840
What a perfect day for a hanging!
408
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,600
oh, oh, oh!
409
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,840
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
410
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,400
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
411
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:40,400
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
412
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,480
Oh, pray for us!
413
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,120
Pray for us!
414
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,360
Pray for us!
415
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,600
Pray for us!
416
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,840
Pray for us!
417
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:54,520
Master!
418
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,040
All’s for the best - dear boy
419
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:05,880
– in this best of all ... Possible worlds ...
420
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:09,920
What a lovely day
421
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:10,880
What a jolly day
422
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,640
What a day for a holiday!
423
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:13,720
What a lovely day
424
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:14,720
What a jolly day
425
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:16,600
What a day for a holiday!
426
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:17,680
What a lovely day
427
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:18,680
What a jolly day
428
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:20,480
What a day for a holiday!
429
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:21,480
What a lovely day
430
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:22,600
What a jolly day
431
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,320
What a day for a holiday!
432
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,240
At last we can be cheery
433
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,080
The danger’s passed us by
434
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,920
So sing a dies irae
435
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:31,760
And hang the bastard high
436
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:35,960
Oh, what a day!
437
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,960
Pangloss is hanged
438
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,920
Candide flogged into insensibility.
439
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,680
Regaining consciousness in the deserted square,
440
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,040
our hero resumes his travels,
441
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,240
while beginning to entertain
442
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:28,800
just the tiniest doubt regarding ‘Optimism’.
443
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,280
But he continues his journey,
444
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:39,760
and eventually arrives in Paris.
445
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,040
While Candide wanders the streets,
446
00:35:07,240 --> 00:35:09,120
a mysterious masked beauty has become
447
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,880
the talk of the town. She has captivated
448
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,600
the hearts of two of the most powerful men
449
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,120
in all Paris: the Archbishop of Notre Dame
450
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,600
and a wealthy Jewish gentleman
451
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,600
named Don Issachar ...
452
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:32,040
The two men are forced to share her.
453
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:35,920
Don Issachar has custody on Tuesdays,
454
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,720
Thursdays and his Sabbath,
455
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,520
the Archbishop on Wednesdays,
456
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,440
Fridays and his Sabbath.
457
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:50,520
As for the poor beauty, she lives for Mondays,
458
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:54,160
when she can relax under the watchful eye
459
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:58,160
of her chaperone, the Old Woman
460
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:05,440
But Cunegonde, for it is indeed she,
461
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:10,560
is well rewarded for her even-handedness ...
462
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,960
Glitter and be gay
463
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,880
that’s the part I play
464
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:40,840
here I am in Paris, France
465
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:51,000
forced to bend my soul
466
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,520
to a sordid role
467
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:03,680
victimized by bitter, bitter circumstance
468
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:08,920
Alas for me! Had I remained
469
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,320
beside my lady mother
470
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,440
my virtue had remained unstained
471
00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:22,080
until my maiden hand was gained
472
00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:27,760
by some grand duke or other
473
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:37,040
Ah! ’Twas not to be
474
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,840
harsh necessity
475
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,520
brought me to this gilded cage
476
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:57,440
born to higher things
477
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:00,920
here I droop my wings
478
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,800
Aaaaaaah!
479
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:08,600
Singing of a sorrow
480
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,920
nothing can assuage
481
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,440
and yet, of course, I rather like to revel,
482
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:18,440
Ha ha!
483
00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:21,360
I have no strong objection to champagne
484
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:22,440
Ha ha!
485
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,400
My wardrobe is expensive as the devil
486
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:26,360
Ha ha!
487
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,440
Perhaps it is ignoble to complain
488
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,880
Enough, enough
489
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,680
of being basely tearful!
490
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,640
I’ll show my noble stuff
491
00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:42,360
by being bright and cheerful!
492
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,560
Ha ha ha ha ha
493
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:51,560
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
494
00:39:52,680 --> 00:40:00,800
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
495
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:25,520
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ... . .
496
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,280
Pearls and ruby rings ...
497
00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:39,320
Ah, how can worldly things
498
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,200
take the place of honour lost?
499
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,400
Can they compensate
500
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,040
for my fallen state
501
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:49,920
purchased as they were at such an awful cost?
502
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,280
Bracelets, lavalieres
503
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:55,640
can they dry my tears?
504
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,720
Can they blind my eyes to shame?
505
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:00,680
Can the brightest brooch
506
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:02,640
shield me from reproach?
507
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:04,640
Can the purest diamond
508
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,000
purify my name?
509
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,360
And yet, of course, these trinkets are endearing
510
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:13,240
Ha ha!
511
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,000
I’m oh so glad my sapphire is a star
512
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:17,080
Ha ha!
513
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,160
I rather like a twenty carat ear-ring
514
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:21,000
Ha ha!
515
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,480
If I’m not pure at least my jewels are!
516
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:27,720
Enough, enough!
517
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:30,880
I’ll take their diamond necklace
518
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,920
and show my noble stuff
519
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,400
by being gay and reckless!
520
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,400
Ha ha ha ha ha!
521
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:46,640
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
522
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,600
Observe how bravely I conceal
523
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:14,400
the dreadful, dreadful shame I feel
524
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:19,080
Ha ha ha ha!
525
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,240
Suddenly Candide enters.
526
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,120
He has recognized an E flat
527
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:33,400
that he knows almost as well as his own.
528
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,040
oh ...
529
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:39,480
oh ...
530
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:41,120
Is it true?
531
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:41,560
Is it you?
532
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:42,440
Cunegonde!
533
00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:43,240
Candide!
534
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:44,080
Cunegonde!
535
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:44,600
Candide!
536
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:45,800
Cunegonde!
537
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,200
oh ...
538
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:56,920
is it true?
539
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:57,720
is it you?
540
00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:58,480
Cunegonde!
541
00:43:58,680 --> 00:43:59,280
Candide!
542
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:00,320
Oh, my ...
543
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:01,080
Dear
544
00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:01,720
Love ...
545
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,640
Dearest, how can this be so?
546
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:18,680
You were dead you know
547
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,320
You were shot and bayoneted too
548
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:23,720
That is very true
549
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,960
Ah, but love will find a way
550
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:29,240
Then – what did you do?
551
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:31,720
We’ll go into that another day
552
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,320
Now let’s talk of you
553
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,320
you are looking very well
554
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,600
weren’t you clever, dear, to survive
555
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,440
I’ve a sorry tale to tell
556
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,680
I escaped more dead than alive
557
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,280
love of mine, where did you go?
558
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:48,640
Oh, I wandered to and fro ...
559
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:49,920
Oh, what torture, oh, what pain
560
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:51,360
... Holland, portugal and spain ...
561
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:52,280
Ah, what torture ...
562
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:53,440
Holland, portugal ...
563
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:54,600
Ah, what torture ...
564
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,960
I would do it all again
565
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:00,400
to find you at last!
566
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:04,120
reunited after so much pain
567
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:05,680
But the pain is past
568
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:07,120
we are one again!
569
00:45:07,240 --> 00:45:08,760
we are one at last!
570
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,480
one again at last
571
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:11,720
One again
572
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:17,480
One at last!
573
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:26,960
one ...
574
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,800
one ...
575
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:39,280
one ...
576
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:48,840
One ...
577
00:45:52,400 --> 00:46:00,200
... At last!
578
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,200
The happy lovers, discreetly
579
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:21,920
left alone by the Old Woman,
580
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,800
find their happiness interrupted.
581
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,440
In fact, this being the weekend,
582
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,480
they find it twice interrupted
583
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,360
In a flurry of swordplay, our innocent
584
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:37,880
Candide murders both of Cunegonde’s admirers ...
585
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:38,960
Inadvertently.
586
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:42,800
To the annoyance of the Old Woman.
587
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,280
I leave you alone for 5 minutes!
588
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,720
Fortunately, Cunegonde has a wealth of jewels
589
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,080
as we have seen. Later that night,
590
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,760
the resourceful Old Woman leads Cunegonde,
591
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:57,400
Candide and the jewels out of Paris,
592
00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:59,760
and they manage to reach the Spanish
593
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:01,920
coastal town of Cadiz.
594
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:05,440
On the way, she holds them spellbound with
595
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,000
the improbable adventures of her life,
596
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,520
beginning with her claim to be the daughter
597
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:12,160
of a Polish Pope,
598
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,600
and having survived slavery,
599
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,600
pogroms and pirate captains,
600
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,240
but, in the process,
601
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:21,200
losing her birthright, her beauty
602
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:23,080
and one buttock.
603
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:26,560
Just the one?
604
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:28,920
Just the one.
605
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,760
This last detail so fascinates the young
606
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,440
lovers that they fail to notice the robbery
607
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,960
of their jewels. The Old Woman,
608
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:41,440
feeling responsible, vows to restore their
609
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:45,120
fortunes and attempts to seduce a group
610
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,560
I’m sorry I’m going to start that lot again
611
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:50,640
I got completely confused with old men and
612
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,000
old women here.
613
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,360
Though you wouldn’t to look at her of course
614
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:58,120
So...
615
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:07,280
The Old Woman,
616
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,120
feeling responsible, vows to restore their
617
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:13,120
fortunes and attempts to seduce a group
618
00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:15,880
of prosperous-looking roués in a local
619
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,680
tavern by singing sentimentally of her
620
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:22,560
hometown of Rovno-Gubernia.
621
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,920
I was not born in sunny Hispania
622
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:38,160
My mother came from Rovno-Gubernia
623
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:43,400
But now I’m here I’m dancing a tango
624
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:45,480
Di dee di!
625
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:47,040
Dee di dee di
626
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:48,880
I am easily assimilated
627
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,960
I am so easily assimilated
628
00:48:56,440 --> 00:49:00,040
I never learned a human language
629
00:49:01,240 --> 00:49:04,960
my mother spoke a high middle Polish
630
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,720
in one half hour I’m talking in Spanish
631
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,120
Por favor! Toreador!
632
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:15,920
I am easily assimilated
633
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,200
I am so easily assimilated
634
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,960
It’s easy, it’s ever so easy!
635
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:32,400
I’m Spanish, I’m suddenly Spanish
636
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:36,640
And you must be Spanish too
637
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:39,800
do like the natives do
638
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:43,040
these days you have to be
639
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:46,240
in the majority
640
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:47,840
tus labios rubi
641
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:52,400
Dos rosas que se abren a mi
642
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:56,360
Conquistan mi corazón
643
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:57,200
Y solo con
644
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:58,360
Una canción
645
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,760
mis labios rubi
646
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,600
Dreiviertel takt
647
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,840
Mon tres cher ami mis labios rubi
648
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:11,720
Oui oui, si si, ja ja, yes yes, da da,
649
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,760
Je ne sais quoi!
650
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,600
me muero, me sale una hernia!
651
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:27,600
a long way from Rovno-Gubernia!
652
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:31,560
mis/tus labios rubi
653
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:35,240
Dos rosas que se abren a mi
654
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,200
Conquistan mi corazón
655
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:38,960
Y solo con
656
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,760
Una divina canción
657
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:43,960
De tus labios rubi!
658
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:53,240
Rubi! Rubi!
659
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:55,000
Hey!
660
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:21,880
me muero, me sale una hernia!
661
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:29,880
A long way from Rovno-Gubernia!
662
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,520
mis/tus labios rubi
663
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:36,640
Dos rosas que se abren a mi
664
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:39,960
Conquistan mi corazón
665
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:41,120
Y solo con
666
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,840
Una divina canción
667
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,560
De tus labios rubi!
668
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:55,240
Rubi! Rubi!
669
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:56,440
Olé!
670
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,840
The roués, though captivated
671
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:13,880
Naturally.
672
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:18,080
Are impoverished, and the Old Woman’s
673
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:22,600
tremendous effort goes for naught.
674
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:26,560
Providentially, a fellow in the tavern
675
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,280
named Cacambo unexpectedly offers
676
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,520
Candide a captain’s commission fighting
677
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,160
for the Jesuits in Montevideo.
678
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,000
They prepare to embark for the New World
679
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:45,000
as Act One optimistically concludes.
680
00:52:47,720 --> 00:52:52,040
Once again we must be gone
681
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:56,920
moving onward to the new world!
682
00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:01,720
Shall our hopes be answered there?
683
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:07,160
Is that land so good and fair?
684
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:12,440
In that land across the sea
685
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:17,720
when our quest at last is ended
686
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:24,040
when all our fortune shall be mended
687
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:27,360
we shall dwell there
688
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:32,160
Free of ev’ry care, happy we
689
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:33,880
Stripped though we are
690
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,200
of our possessions, my dear
691
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:39,080
we shall go far
692
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:42,200
through our professions, my dear
693
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:47,040
if this new world has plenty of gallants
694
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,480
we’ll right our balance
695
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:53,440
using our talents, my dear
696
00:53:53,720 --> 00:53:54,920
go now and save
697
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:57,840
Montevideo, Candide!
698
00:53:58,200 --> 00:53:59,800
Faithful and brave
699
00:53:59,960 --> 00:54:02,840
go on your way, o Candide!
700
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:07,120
You must deter the heathen invader
701
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,440
drive out the raider
702
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:13,240
like a crusader, Candide
703
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:14,960
You were in a funk
704
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:17,400
your confidence was failing
705
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:19,880
you were feeling sunk
706
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:23,240
but once again you’re sailing
707
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:26,840
farewell, old world
708
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,440
I was depressed
709
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:34,200
Shall my hopes for the first time be answered
710
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,840
Yes, go Candide
711
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:10,360
Farewell to the old!
712
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:12,960
Farewell to distress!
713
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:15,600
Farewell to the old!
714
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:23,080
We’re bound for the realms of gold!
715
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:29,160
Welcome back.
716
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,600
You will be happy to know that Candide
717
00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:36,560
and his companions took advantage of that
718
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:40,760
substantial interval to travel all the way
719
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:41,960
to the New World.
720
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:45,640
Montevideo is buzzing with a festive
721
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:48,560
auction of slave-girls. Among the bidders
722
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:51,400
we discover the Governor of Montevideo,
723
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:55,600
one Don Fernando D’Ibarra y Figueroa
724
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:59,640
y Mascarenes y Lampourdos y Souza.
725
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:05,760
Buenas tardes.
726
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:09,880
It crosses Cunegonde’s mind that maybe
727
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,680
she and the Old Woman can ensnare
728
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:17,160
the Governor with their womanly wiles.
729
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:25,880
Do you think he might..Take an interest in us?
730
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:28,520
How can you ask such a question?
731
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:30,160
I know ... I didn’t mean ...
732
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:34,640
Madam ... We are women!
733
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:40,520
we are women
734
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:45,240
we are women
735
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:51,320
we are women
736
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:54,080
Little women
737
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:58,800
Little little women
738
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:01,240
Are we!
739
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:08,080
Not a man ever born ever could resist
740
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:11,200
a well-turned calf, a slender wrist
741
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:13,920
a silhouette as airy as a morning mist
742
01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:16,640
and a dainty dimpled knee
743
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,520
Ev’ry male I may meet must acclaim for weeks
744
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:26,880
my twinkling thighs, my flaxen cheeks
745
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:30,080
my memorable mammaries like alpine peaks
746
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:32,800
high above a wine dark sea
747
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:33,880
we’ve necks like swans
748
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:35,320
we’ve necks like swans
749
01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:37,000
and sexly legs
750
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:39,600
and oh, so such sexly legs
751
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,600
we’re so light-footed we could dance on eggs
752
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:49,040
a pair of nymphs from fairyland
753
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:52,960
and ev’ry day in ev’ry way our charms expand!
754
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:57,680
you may add
755
01:00:57,920 --> 01:00:58,600
if you wish
756
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:00,120
to that growing list
757
01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:01,680
a mouth so fair
758
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:03,400
it must be kissed
759
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:06,440
and parts we cannot mention but we know exist
760
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:09,000
in a rich abundancy
761
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:13,040
not a man ever born ever could resist
762
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:15,440
a pretty little thing like me!
763
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:20,920
not a man ever born ever could resist
764
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:24,200
A well-turned calf, a slender wrist
765
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,240
A silhouette as airy as a morning mist
766
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:30,040
And a dainty dimpled knee
767
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,560
ev’ry male I may meet must acclaim for weeks
768
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:36,800
My twinkling thighs, my flaxen cheeks
769
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,920
My memorable mammaries like alpine peaks
770
01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:42,160
High above a wine dark sea
771
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:43,600
we’ve giotto hands
772
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:45,320
we’ve giotto hands
773
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:46,800
da vinci smiles
774
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:49,480
and mona lisa smiles
775
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:52,600
we’re brava divina to balletophiles
776
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:59,080
a pair of nymphs from fairyland
777
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:02,920
and ev’ry day in ev’ry way our charms expand!
778
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:07,960
you may add
779
01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:08,800
if you wish
780
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:10,480
to that growing list
781
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:11,880
a mouth so fair
782
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:13,480
it must be kissed
783
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:16,600
and parts we cannot mention but we know exist
784
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,200
In a rich abundancy
785
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:23,160
not a man ever born ever could resist
786
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,480
a pretty little thing like me!
787
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:27,240
We are women! We are women!
788
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:33,960
We are women! We are little little women!
789
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:49,680
Little, little, little women are we!
790
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:05,520
Captain Candide, as he now styles himself,
791
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:09,160
is excited to present his bride to the Governor,
792
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:12,160
and asks him to officiate at their wedding.
793
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:15,040
But the Governor would like to lay siege
794
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:18,640
to Cunegonde himself, and is eager
795
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:21,680
to get Candide out of the way.
796
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:25,160
Perhaps this would be an appropriate time
797
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:27,240
for you to review your new company?
798
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:28,720
Yes, sir.
799
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:30,360
And while you are gone
800
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:34,360
I shall entertain Lady Cunegonde...
801
01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:40,960
Poets have said
802
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:43,720
Love is undying my love
803
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:45,760
don’t be misled
804
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:48,640
they were all lying my love
805
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:50,560
Love’s on the wing
806
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:53,160
but now while he hovers
807
01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:55,520
let us be lovers
808
01:03:55,880 --> 01:03:58,680
one soon recovers my love
809
01:03:59,200 --> 01:04:00,560
Soon the fever’s fled
810
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:03,920
for love’s a transient blessing
811
01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:05,480
just a week in bed
812
01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:09,000
and we’ll be convalescing
813
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:10,760
Why talk of morals
814
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:14,000
when springtime is flying?
815
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:15,600
why end in quarrels
816
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:18,440
reproaches and sighing
817
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:24,000
crying for love?
818
01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:29,320
my love?
819
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:32,480
I cannot entertain
820
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:35,600
your shocking proposition
821
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:37,840
how could I regain
822
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:41,160
my virginal condition?
823
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:43,360
I am so pure that
824
01:04:43,520 --> 01:04:46,560
before you may bed me
825
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:48,480
you must assure me
826
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:51,520
that first you will wed me
827
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:54,040
Wed me!
828
01:04:54,160 --> 01:05:00,720
well then
829
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:03,280
since you’re so pure
830
01:05:03,680 --> 01:05:06,480
I shall betroth you, my love
831
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:08,880
though I feel sure
832
01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:11,840
I’ll come to loathe you, my love
833
01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:13,760
still for the thrill
834
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,280
I’m perfectly willing
835
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:20,080
for if we must wed
836
01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:22,480
before we may bed
837
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:26,160
then come let us wed
838
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:32,520
my love!
839
01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:44,920
The scene shifts once more
840
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:46,200
and for no terrifically
841
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:49,840
good reason Candide is now lost and starving
842
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:54,880
in the jungle. Coming upon an abandoned boat,
843
01:05:55,040 --> 01:05:57,120
he and his trusty servant, Cacambo,
844
01:05:57,560 --> 01:06:00,240
take a harrowing ride down-river,
845
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:04,040
plunging through roaring rapids into the darkness
846
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:07,120
of a monstrous cavern and finally
847
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:10,120
emerging into a strange country
848
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:14,320
surrounded by unscalable mountains.
849
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:30,520
Eldorado!
850
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:33,920
It is even more beautiful that Westphalia!
851
01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:40,240
Candide has stumbled upon the paradise
852
01:06:40,360 --> 01:06:46,360
of his Panglossian dreams. Greed, envy and hatred
853
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:51,360
are nonexistent, poverty and want unknown.
854
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,400
The inhabitants of Eldorado are gentle,
855
01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:59,040
kind and witty, even in translation.
856
01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:03,960
Man’s relationship to God is personal
857
01:07:04,200 --> 01:07:09,320
and private, doctrinal differences unimaginable,
858
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:13,960
Science and Religion celebrated indivisibly.
859
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:18,120
There is love without possession, freedom
860
01:07:18,240 --> 01:07:22,920
without license and justice without lawyers.
861
01:07:29,200 --> 01:07:34,640
And sheep. Lots of sheep.
862
01:07:35,120 --> 01:07:38,000
Candide is mesmerized.
863
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:41,240
The streets are paved with rubies and diamonds.
864
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:44,240
And the sheep are golden!
865
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:48,000
And indeed they are. Jewels and golden sheep
866
01:07:48,240 --> 01:07:51,560
are so common as to be valueless in Eldorado.
867
01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:55,200
But to Candide they are the means of both
868
01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:57,680
recovering his beloved Cunegonde
869
01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:00,720
and making himself her social equal.
870
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:03,720
Confronted with a man who wishes
871
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:08,080
to leave Paradise, the perplexed but obliging
872
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:10,840
people of Eldorado construct a miraculous
873
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:15,000
machine to lift him, Cacambo, and numerous
874
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,720
jewel-laden golden sheep over
875
01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:20,120
the unscalable mountains.
876
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:23,560
What is Paradise without true love
877
01:08:23,720 --> 01:08:25,160
and social position?
878
01:08:35,120 --> 01:08:38,800
Up a sea-shell mountain
879
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:42,720
across a primrose sea
880
01:08:43,200 --> 01:08:46,080
to a jungle fountain
881
01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:48,360
high up in a tree
882
01:08:50,040 --> 01:08:53,960
Then down a primrose mountain
883
01:08:54,120 --> 01:08:57,800
across a sea-shell sea
884
01:08:57,960 --> 01:09:01,800
to a land of happy people
885
01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:06,720
just and kind and bold and free
886
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:10,680
To Eldorado
887
01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:16,640
They bathe each dawn in a golden lake
888
01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:20,440
em’ralds hang on every vine
889
01:09:20,640 --> 01:09:24,200
all is there for all to take
890
01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:27,520
food and god and books and wine.
891
01:09:27,760 --> 01:09:31,360
They have no words for fear and greed
892
01:09:31,480 --> 01:09:35,000
for lies and war, revenge and rage
893
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:38,720
they sing and dance and think and read
894
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:42,840
they live in peace and die of age
895
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:45,880
In Eldorado
896
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:55,600
They gave me home, they called me friend
897
01:09:55,800 --> 01:09:59,440
they taught me how to live in grace
898
01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:03,280
seasons passed without an end
899
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,880
in that sweet and blessed place.
900
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:10,680
But I grew sad and could not stay
901
01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:14,400
without my love my heart grew cold
902
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:18,320
so they sadly sent me on my way
903
01:10:18,480 --> 01:10:22,200
with gracious gifts of gems and gold
904
01:10:22,360 --> 01:10:25,760
From Eldorado
905
01:10:30,240 --> 01:10:33,800
‘Goodbye’ they said ‘we pray you
906
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:37,680
may safely cross the sea’
907
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:41,320
‘go’ they said ‘and may you
908
01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:44,160
find your bride to be’
909
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:49,960
Then past the jungle fountain
910
01:10:50,280 --> 01:10:53,960
along a silver shore
911
01:10:54,160 --> 01:10:59,000
I’ve come by sea and mountain
912
01:10:59,200 --> 01:11:01,880
to be with my love once more
913
01:11:02,480 --> 01:11:06,160
From Eldorado
914
01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:19,800
To be with my love once more
915
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:42,400
Candide’s arduous flight over the mountains
916
01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:45,040
takes a great toll on his sheep.
917
01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:50,000
When he finally arrives in the Dutch colony
918
01:11:50,160 --> 01:11:53,280
of Surinam, only three sheep remain.
919
01:11:54,040 --> 01:11:56,040
Afraid to risk arrest by returning to
920
01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:58,680
Montevideo, the trusting Candide sends
921
01:11:58,960 --> 01:12:00,600
Cacambo to ransom Cunegonde
922
01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:02,680
with a sheep and to bring her
923
01:12:02,800 --> 01:12:05,000
to rendezvous with him in Venice.
924
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:13,080
An itinerant street sweeper named Martin,
925
01:12:16,240 --> 01:12:18,440
who just happens to overhear Candide’s
926
01:12:18,560 --> 01:12:20,840
instructions to Cacambo, is appalled
927
01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:22,440
by Candide’s reckless faith
928
01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:24,720
in human nature.
929
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:28,440
Hawks will always prey on doves,
930
01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:31,080
my boy. Not to mention
931
01:12:31,280 --> 01:12:33,680
wolves on sheep.
932
01:12:33,920 --> 01:12:35,120
But men have Free Will!
933
01:12:36,320 --> 01:12:42,000
Free will? Humanity? Love?
934
01:12:43,040 --> 01:12:44,840
Huh
935
01:12:46,040 --> 01:12:46,720
Hah
936
01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:52,040
Ha ha ha ha,
937
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:54,960
Words, words, words, words
938
01:12:55,720 --> 01:12:57,560
I have no words
939
01:12:57,960 --> 01:12:59,960
to describe the vanity of life
940
01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:02,280
the insane inanity of life
941
01:13:02,560 --> 01:13:05,040
I have no words but ha!
942
01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:09,000
Mid grime and slime
943
01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:11,600
why waste our time
944
01:13:12,120 --> 01:13:13,800
spouting some Spinoza monograph
945
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:16,400
even one short Shakespeare paragraph
946
01:13:16,560 --> 01:13:19,560
I’ll save my breath, but wait!
947
01:13:20,000 --> 01:13:20,720
There just occurred to me
948
01:13:21,040 --> 01:13:23,080
a word that may just possibly
949
01:13:23,680 --> 01:13:25,440
apply to all of us
950
01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:27,720
trapped on this ball of dust
951
01:13:28,440 --> 01:13:30,040
Two tiny syllables
952
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:32,320
but spiny syllables
953
01:13:33,080 --> 01:13:34,640
one single word
954
01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:35,840
Absurd!
955
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:38,160
Ha! Absurd
956
01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:40,200
Ha! Absurd
957
01:13:40,440 --> 01:13:41,280
Ha ha ha ha!
958
01:13:41,520 --> 01:13:42,360
Absurd!
959
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:43,400
Ha ha ha ha!
960
01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:46,360
Don’t make me laugh
961
01:13:46,680 --> 01:13:48,280
it hurts to laugh
962
01:13:50,440 --> 01:13:51,680
Oh oh
963
01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:53,480
Whoa ho ho ho ho ho!
964
01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:56,520
Don’t make me laugh!
965
01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:58,400
Don’t make me titter!
966
01:13:58,720 --> 01:14:00,120
all wheat is chaff
967
01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:02,160
all pills are bitter
968
01:14:02,320 --> 01:14:03,600
nothing to trust in
969
01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:05,480
this worst of all possible worlds
970
01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:07,200
all ends in dust in
971
01:14:07,440 --> 01:14:09,160
this worst of all possible worlds
972
01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:11,200
Any questions?
973
01:14:11,560 --> 01:14:12,960
Don’t ask them now
974
01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:14,600
they’re useless anyhow
975
01:14:15,680 --> 01:14:17,320
Were you in my position, friend
976
01:14:17,480 --> 01:14:18,960
were you a humble sweeper
977
01:14:19,320 --> 01:14:21,040
your thoughts on man’s condition, friend
978
01:14:21,240 --> 01:14:22,840
would be a little deeper
979
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:24,600
If ev’ry blessed day, my friend
980
01:14:24,760 --> 01:14:26,360
brought dung and bone and spittle
981
01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:28,280
for you to clear away, my friend
982
01:14:28,440 --> 01:14:30,160
’Twould change your mind a little
983
01:14:30,360 --> 01:14:31,880
Yes, dung and bone and spittle
984
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:32,920
and mud and trash
985
01:14:33,040 --> 01:14:33,960
and blood and ash
986
01:14:34,080 --> 01:14:35,760
and souvenirs of lust
987
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:37,680
And ev’ry sort of residue
988
01:14:37,840 --> 01:14:39,440
in process of reduction to
989
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:41,040
the final state of dust
990
01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:43,400
You’d laugh along with me, my friend
991
01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:45,520
You’d laugh until you’d bust!
992
01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:48,240
Hah!
993
01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:51,360
Ha ha ha ha
994
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:53,520
Ha ha ha ha
995
01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:54,840
Ha ha ha ha ha!
996
01:15:01,800 --> 01:15:02,840
Huh.
997
01:15:04,160 --> 01:15:05,000
Heh.
998
01:15:06,400 --> 01:15:07,640
Pphff.
999
01:15:08,760 --> 01:15:10,040
Tchhh.
1000
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:12,520
Nyaah.
1001
01:15:14,840 --> 01:15:18,000
HAAAA!
1002
01:15:31,520 --> 01:15:32,960
Back to the day job...
1003
01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:38,400
A local Dutch merchant
1004
01:15:38,640 --> 01:15:41,200
named Vanderdendur ...
1005
01:15:41,360 --> 01:15:42,240
Goede dag.
1006
01:15:44,320 --> 01:15:46,440
... Notices Candide’s sheep.
1007
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:49,080
In exchange for one of them, he offers
1008
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:50,960
Candide the Santa Rosalia,
1009
01:15:51,240 --> 01:15:54,480
a splendid sailing ship, coincidentally
1010
01:15:55,040 --> 01:15:58,640
bound for Venice that very afternoon.
1011
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,840
Martin questions whether the ship
1012
01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:03,720
is really seaworthy, but Candide
1013
01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:07,000
ignores his warning against the deal ...
1014
01:16:07,280 --> 01:16:08,320
The man’s a cynic!
1015
01:16:08,480 --> 01:16:10,320
... And sets sail for Venice
1016
01:16:10,480 --> 01:16:13,920
with his faith in ‘Optimism’ once again
1017
01:16:14,080 --> 01:16:17,840
flying at full mast. The gleeful villagers
1018
01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:23,560
of Surinam gather at the shore to sing
1019
01:16:23,720 --> 01:16:25,560
him off, but one can’t help but
1020
01:16:25,760 --> 01:16:29,080
notice Vanderdendur twirling
1021
01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:31,440
his moustache in a rather
1022
01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:33,520
unpleasant manner.
1023
01:16:36,120 --> 01:16:37,640
bon voyage, dear fellow
1024
01:16:37,840 --> 01:16:40,400
dear benefactor of your fellow man!
1025
01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:42,200
May good luck attend you
1026
01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:44,960
do come again and see us when you can
1027
01:16:45,280 --> 01:16:46,720
bon voyage, dear fellow
1028
01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:49,440
dear benefactor of your fellow man!
1029
01:16:49,800 --> 01:16:51,240
May good luck attend you
1030
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:53,840
do come again and see us when you can
1031
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:55,200
oh, but I’m bad
1032
01:16:55,320 --> 01:16:56,040
oh, but I’m bad
1033
01:16:56,160 --> 01:16:57,360
playing such a very dirty trick
1034
01:16:57,520 --> 01:16:58,200
on such a fine lad!
1035
01:16:58,720 --> 01:16:59,480
I’m a low cad
1036
01:16:59,680 --> 01:17:00,400
I’m a low cad
1037
01:17:00,640 --> 01:17:01,760
Always when I do this sort of thing
1038
01:17:01,880 --> 01:17:03,160
It makes me so sad
1039
01:17:03,240 --> 01:17:04,040
Ever so sad!
1040
01:17:04,160 --> 01:17:04,880
Oh, but I’m bad!
1041
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:05,720
Ever so bad!
1042
01:17:05,880 --> 01:17:07,400
Bon voyage! Bon voyage!
1043
01:17:07,560 --> 01:17:09,080
Bon voyage! Bon voyage!
1044
01:17:12,640 --> 01:17:16,280
Bon voyage!
1045
01:17:17,640 --> 01:17:18,760
Bon voyage, we’ll see ya
1046
01:17:19,040 --> 01:17:21,360
do have a jolly trip across the foam
1047
01:17:21,800 --> 01:17:23,360
Santa rosalia
1048
01:17:23,480 --> 01:17:25,840
do have a safe and pleasant journey home
1049
01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:28,640
journey home, journey home, journey home
1050
01:17:28,840 --> 01:17:30,440
Bon voyage, bon voyage, bon voyage
1051
01:17:30,720 --> 01:17:32,680
I’m so rich that my life is an utter bore
1052
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:34,920
There is just not a thing that I need
1053
01:17:35,440 --> 01:17:37,520
My desires are as dry as an apple core
1054
01:17:37,880 --> 01:17:39,920
And my only emotion is greed
1055
01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:41,440
Which is why, though I’ve nothing
1056
01:17:41,600 --> 01:17:42,280
to spend it for
1057
01:17:42,600 --> 01:17:44,080
I have swindled this gold from
1058
01:17:44,240 --> 01:17:44,960
Candi-di-di
1059
01:17:44,960 --> 01:17:45,560
Di-di
1060
01:17:45,640 --> 01:17:47,880
Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-dide
1061
01:17:49,400 --> 01:17:52,680
Poor Candide!
1062
01:17:53,640 --> 01:17:55,000
But I never would swindle
1063
01:17:55,160 --> 01:17:55,720
the humble poor
1064
01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:58,080
For you can’t get a turnip to bleed
1065
01:17:58,440 --> 01:17:59,640
When you swindle the rich
1066
01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:00,720
you get so much more
1067
01:18:00,920 --> 01:18:02,640
Which is why I have swindled Candide
1068
01:18:02,640 --> 01:18:03,320
Oh dear
1069
01:18:03,360 --> 01:18:03,880
I fear
1070
01:18:04,120 --> 01:18:04,960
He’s going down
1071
01:18:05,120 --> 01:18:08,840
He’s going to drown!
1072
01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:14,560
Ah, poor Candide!
1073
01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:15,840
bon voyage, dear stranger
1074
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:18,440
hope that the crossing will not prove too grim
1075
01:18:18,600 --> 01:18:20,280
you seem to be in danger
1076
01:18:20,400 --> 01:18:23,040
but we expect that you know how to swim
1077
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:24,720
what a dumb goat, what a dumb goat
1078
01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:25,680
Handing me a fortune
1079
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:27,640
for a perfect wreck of a boat
1080
01:18:27,920 --> 01:18:29,400
Never did float, never did float
1081
01:18:29,640 --> 01:18:30,440
This is going to make
1082
01:18:30,560 --> 01:18:32,200
a most amusing anecdote
1083
01:18:32,400 --> 01:18:33,920
Never did float, wreck of a boat
1084
01:18:34,080 --> 01:18:34,880
What a dumb goat!
1085
01:18:35,040 --> 01:18:36,440
Bon voyage! Bon voyage!
1086
01:18:36,560 --> 01:18:38,120
Bon voyage! Bon voyage!
1087
01:18:41,720 --> 01:18:45,680
Bon voyage!
1088
01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:47,760
Bon voyage, best wishes!
1089
01:18:47,960 --> 01:18:50,560
Seems to have been a bit of sabotage
1090
01:18:50,760 --> 01:18:52,480
Things don’t look propitious
1091
01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:54,200
Still from the heart we wish you
1092
01:18:54,280 --> 01:18:56,120
Bon voyage, bon voyage
1093
01:18:56,400 --> 01:18:58,120
Bon voyage!
1094
01:19:02,120 --> 01:19:06,480
Bon voyage!
1095
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,680
I don’t need to tell you that the ship
1096
01:19:33,000 --> 01:19:38,320
sinks a few miles out to sea.
1097
01:19:52,960 --> 01:19:57,080
Candide swims back to the coast of Surinam,
1098
01:19:57,480 --> 01:20:01,720
weak and cold and frightened and miserable.
1099
01:20:03,120 --> 01:20:05,840
The wickedness of mankind has cut him
1100
01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:09,680
to the quick, and the smallest doubts
1101
01:20:09,880 --> 01:20:11,960
once again threaten to temper
1102
01:20:12,360 --> 01:20:15,080
his habitual optimism.
1103
01:20:19,680 --> 01:20:24,280
My master told me
1104
01:20:24,480 --> 01:20:28,520
the world is warm and good
1105
01:20:29,600 --> 01:20:33,680
it deals more coldly
1106
01:20:33,920 --> 01:20:38,600
than I had dreamt it would.
1107
01:20:39,400 --> 01:20:44,960
Men must have kindness
1108
01:20:45,520 --> 01:20:47,720
I cannot see
1109
01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:53,720
it must be me
1110
01:20:54,360 --> 01:20:59,080
it must be me
1111
01:21:10,040 --> 01:21:12,680
But help is at hand, and Candide
1112
01:21:12,920 --> 01:21:15,120
and his last remaining sheep are saved
1113
01:21:15,280 --> 01:21:18,680
by a passing galley. One of the galley
1114
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:22,160
slaves turns out, most picaresquely,
1115
01:21:22,240 --> 01:21:26,560
to be our old friend Dr. Pangloss.
1116
01:21:28,200 --> 01:21:30,480
The vessel eventually makes it to Venice,
1117
01:21:30,640 --> 01:21:33,960
where it is Carnival time, and the Casino
1118
01:21:34,120 --> 01:21:36,280
is in full swing. It’s filled with
1119
01:21:36,400 --> 01:21:40,000
familiar faces, but, as a masked ball
1120
01:21:40,160 --> 01:21:43,080
is conveniently in progress, none of them
1121
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:44,920
is recognizable to Candide.
1122
01:21:45,760 --> 01:21:48,600
Paquette is there, surrounded by
1123
01:21:48,680 --> 01:21:51,000
male admirers, while Maximilian
1124
01:21:51,160 --> 01:21:53,520
is now the corrupt Prefect of Police,
1125
01:21:53,680 --> 01:21:55,560
on the take from the Casino.
1126
01:21:56,600 --> 01:21:58,120
The Old Woman and Cunegonde
1127
01:21:58,280 --> 01:22:00,560
are working women too, flaunting
1128
01:22:00,560 --> 01:22:03,040
their feminine charms to encourage
1129
01:22:03,240 --> 01:22:04,680
the gamblers.
1130
01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:10,600
I have served on both sides of the ocean
1131
01:22:10,960 --> 01:22:13,280
and I’ve given it all that I had
1132
01:22:13,640 --> 01:22:16,600
but despite all my toil and devotion
1133
01:22:16,760 --> 01:22:18,920
my poor master is broken and sad
1134
01:22:19,040 --> 01:22:20,560
yes, he’s broken and sad
1135
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:24,560
I too served in the house of my lady
1136
01:22:24,680 --> 01:22:27,200
and in all things was anxious to please
1137
01:22:27,480 --> 01:22:30,240
but I now serve whoever has paid me
1138
01:22:30,560 --> 01:22:32,760
with the dainties of lust and disease
1139
01:22:33,440 --> 01:22:34,720
What’s the use?
1140
01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:36,280
What’s the use?
1141
01:22:36,760 --> 01:22:38,480
You get nothing by trying
1142
01:22:38,520 --> 01:22:40,120
It just leaves you crying
1143
01:22:40,360 --> 01:22:42,560
For things don’t work out
1144
01:22:43,040 --> 01:22:45,680
what on earth is this world all about?
1145
01:22:52,880 --> 01:22:55,520
At surviving I haven’t a rival
1146
01:22:56,080 --> 01:22:58,760
I have gone through more lives than a cat
1147
01:22:59,320 --> 01:23:01,920
but just what is the point of survival
1148
01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,960
If the ending is squalid and flat
1149
01:23:05,120 --> 01:23:06,480
I’ve a worse tale than that
1150
01:23:07,600 --> 01:23:10,360
I was born to wear purple and ermine
1151
01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:13,520
and to have a luxurious lot
1152
01:23:13,920 --> 01:23:16,880
but life’s forced me to mingle with vermin
1153
01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:19,520
and to suffer as princes should not
1154
01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:21,560
What’s the use?
1155
01:23:21,720 --> 01:23:23,040
What’s the use?
1156
01:23:23,360 --> 01:23:25,480
oh, it’s all so depressing
1157
01:23:25,640 --> 01:23:27,080
so deeply distressing
1158
01:23:27,440 --> 01:23:29,840
that things don’t work out
1159
01:23:30,280 --> 01:23:33,800
what on earth is this world all about?
1160
01:23:40,120 --> 01:23:42,960
As an optimist metaphysician
1161
01:23:43,320 --> 01:23:46,160
I’m a thinker who never retracts
1162
01:23:46,560 --> 01:23:49,680
and I’ve clung to my sanguine position
1163
01:23:49,840 --> 01:23:52,080
in the teeth of the ugliest facts
1164
01:23:52,240 --> 01:23:53,680
in the teeth of the facts
1165
01:23:54,880 --> 01:23:56,240
You might think that mankind
1166
01:23:56,360 --> 01:23:57,400
would acknowledge
1167
01:23:57,760 --> 01:24:00,520
how I’ve proven that all’s for the best
1168
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:03,840
With a well-endowed chair at some college
1169
01:24:04,200 --> 01:24:06,760
But it seems that the world’s not impressed
1170
01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:08,440
What’s the use?
1171
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:10,200
What’s the use?
1172
01:24:10,640 --> 01:24:12,600
This injustice so shakes me
1173
01:24:12,720 --> 01:24:14,400
that sometimes it makes me
1174
01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:16,680
cry out, seized by doubt
1175
01:24:17,040 --> 01:24:21,000
What on earth is this world all about?
1176
01:24:27,280 --> 01:24:30,080
You are all feeling hurt and dejected
1177
01:24:30,480 --> 01:24:33,360
and you say you’ve been treated amiss
1178
01:24:33,680 --> 01:24:36,600
may I ask what the hell you expected
1179
01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:39,360
in a hellish creation like this
1180
01:24:39,600 --> 01:24:40,960
a creation like this?
1181
01:24:41,880 --> 01:24:45,000
Our existence is cruel and terrible
1182
01:24:45,200 --> 01:24:48,000
but it’s full of misfortune and pain
1183
01:24:48,440 --> 01:24:51,440
but the one thing that makes it unbearable
1184
01:24:51,640 --> 01:24:54,600
is to listen to people complain
1185
01:24:55,000 --> 01:24:56,000
What’s the use?
1186
01:24:56,240 --> 01:24:57,560
What’s the use?
1187
01:24:58,160 --> 01:25:00,080
It affects me like rabies
1188
01:25:00,200 --> 01:25:01,640
when men act like babies
1189
01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:04,320
and pout, scream and shout
1190
01:25:04,880 --> 01:25:07,360
what on earth is this world all about?
1191
01:25:08,640 --> 01:25:11,920
What does it mean?
1192
01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:19,200
Oh what ...
1193
01:25:19,360 --> 01:25:20,960
Oh what’s the use?
1194
01:25:21,240 --> 01:25:22,560
What’s the use?
1195
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:24,880
Will you please stop complaining?
1196
01:25:25,120 --> 01:25:26,680
This world needs explaining!
1197
01:25:26,840 --> 01:25:29,280
For things don’t work out
1198
01:25:29,840 --> 01:25:35,720
what on earth is this world all about?
1199
01:25:51,200 --> 01:25:54,120
As Dr Pangloss gambles merrily in one corner,
1200
01:25:54,360 --> 01:25:56,880
Cunegonde and the Old Woman, still masked,
1201
01:25:57,280 --> 01:26:00,080
attempt to bamboozle a similarly masked
1202
01:26:00,240 --> 01:26:02,040
Candide out of his riches.
1203
01:26:02,840 --> 01:26:05,200
They have had strict orders from the Casino’s
1204
01:26:05,320 --> 01:26:07,400
owner, who is determined to get his
1205
01:26:07,520 --> 01:26:11,800
hands on Candide’s remaining golden sheep.
1206
01:26:19,960 --> 01:26:24,840
I’ve got troubles as I said
1207
01:26:25,400 --> 01:26:28,880
mother’s dying, father’s dead
1208
01:26:29,320 --> 01:26:32,920
all my uncles are in jail
1209
01:26:33,600 --> 01:26:37,160
It’s a very moving tale
1210
01:26:37,800 --> 01:26:41,720
Though our name, I say again is
1211
01:26:41,920 --> 01:26:44,320
quite the proudest name in Venice
1212
01:26:44,480 --> 01:26:46,360
our afflictions are so many
1213
01:26:46,520 --> 01:26:48,920
and we haven’t got a penny
1214
01:26:50,240 --> 01:26:54,400
Madam, I am desolate
1215
01:26:54,680 --> 01:26:58,400
at your family’s tragic state
1216
01:26:58,800 --> 01:27:02,760
any help that I can give
1217
01:27:02,960 --> 01:27:07,280
please do tell me where they live
1218
01:27:07,760 --> 01:27:11,480
I shall look them up tomorrow
1219
01:27:11,680 --> 01:27:14,520
and alleviate their sorrow
1220
01:27:14,640 --> 01:27:16,800
with a check made out to bearer
1221
01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:19,360
in the meantime, buona sera
1222
01:27:26,560 --> 01:27:30,040
We’ve got troubles, as she said
1223
01:27:30,880 --> 01:27:34,160
mother’s dying, father’s dead
1224
01:27:34,520 --> 01:27:37,840
all her uncles are in jail
1225
01:27:38,640 --> 01:27:41,880
It’s a very moving tale
1226
01:27:42,360 --> 01:27:46,240
Although our name I say again is
1227
01:27:46,800 --> 01:27:49,920
quite the proudest name in Venice
1228
01:27:50,080 --> 01:27:53,440
all our uncles are in jail
1229
01:27:54,320 --> 01:27:57,080
it is a very moving tale ...
1230
01:27:57,440 --> 01:27:59,280
Ah, what a tale!
1231
01:28:00,560 --> 01:28:05,680
... A moving tale!
1232
01:28:09,280 --> 01:28:11,080
Millions of rubles and lire and francs
1233
01:28:11,840 --> 01:28:13,160
broke the bank
1234
01:28:13,720 --> 01:28:14,920
broke the bank
1235
01:28:15,240 --> 01:28:17,000
broke the best of all possible banks
1236
01:28:18,160 --> 01:28:20,280
Pieces of gold to the ladies I throw
1237
01:28:21,080 --> 01:28:22,240
easy come
1238
01:28:22,720 --> 01:28:23,480
easy go
1239
01:28:24,080 --> 01:28:26,280
Shining gold to the ladies I throw
1240
01:28:27,000 --> 01:28:29,720
see them on their knees before me
1241
01:28:30,080 --> 01:28:33,040
If they love me, can you blame them?
1242
01:28:33,240 --> 01:28:35,800
Little wonder they adore me
1243
01:28:36,320 --> 01:28:40,120
watch them woo me as I name them
1244
01:28:43,120 --> 01:28:44,720
lady frilly, lady silly
1245
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:46,600
pretty lady willy-nilly
1246
01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:48,440
lady lightly, lady brightly
1247
01:28:48,560 --> 01:28:50,480
charming lady fly-by-nightly
1248
01:28:50,640 --> 01:28:52,360
my lady fortune found me
1249
01:28:52,480 --> 01:28:54,160
what a joy to have around me
1250
01:28:54,280 --> 01:28:55,920
lovely ladies, six or seven
1251
01:28:56,040 --> 01:28:58,280
this is my idea of heaven
1252
01:28:58,440 --> 01:29:02,040
Fortune keep the wheel a-spinning, spinning
1253
01:29:02,320 --> 01:29:05,240
they adore me while I’m winning!
1254
01:29:06,240 --> 01:29:07,840
lady frilly, lady silly
1255
01:29:08,000 --> 01:29:09,760
pretty lady willy-nilly
1256
01:29:09,920 --> 01:29:11,600
lady lightly, lady brightly
1257
01:29:11,760 --> 01:29:13,680
charming lady fly-by-nightly
1258
01:29:14,200 --> 01:29:16,480
Fools love only one or two
1259
01:29:17,400 --> 01:29:20,040
ladies, I love all of you
1260
01:29:20,440 --> 01:29:23,800
We’ve got troubles as she/I said
1261
01:29:24,720 --> 01:29:27,080
Mothers dying, fathers dead
1262
01:29:27,200 --> 01:29:29,120
lady frilly, lady silly
1263
01:29:29,240 --> 01:29:30,920
Pretty lady willy-nilly
1264
01:29:47,680 --> 01:29:52,040
It is a very moving tale.
1265
01:30:06,640 --> 01:30:10,600
Candide tears off Cunegonde’s mask
1266
01:30:11,080 --> 01:30:12,720
and then tears off his own.
1267
01:30:13,760 --> 01:30:14,520
Cunegonde!
1268
01:30:15,480 --> 01:30:16,160
Candide!
1269
01:30:16,960 --> 01:30:21,640
He was unable to believe that this cold,
1270
01:30:22,360 --> 01:30:26,400
hardened, greedy, grasping woman
1271
01:30:26,920 --> 01:30:30,920
could also be his one true love.
1272
01:30:36,360 --> 01:30:43,920
Is it this, the meaning of my life
1273
01:30:44,880 --> 01:30:50,480
the sacred trust I treasured
1274
01:30:50,920 --> 01:30:53,480
nothing more than this?
1275
01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:59,680
All of my hope and pleasure
1276
01:31:01,040 --> 01:31:03,840
no more than this?
1277
01:31:09,360 --> 01:31:15,320
The love I dreamed and cried for
1278
01:31:15,480 --> 01:31:19,200
nothing more than this?
1279
01:31:19,560 --> 01:31:24,120
All that I killed and died for
1280
01:31:25,920 --> 01:31:28,320
no more than this?
1281
01:31:31,320 --> 01:31:34,280
That smile, that face
1282
01:31:35,200 --> 01:31:37,680
a halo round it
1283
01:31:38,400 --> 01:31:40,800
that youth, that charm, that grace
1284
01:31:41,760 --> 01:31:45,880
Behold I have found it
1285
01:31:46,120 --> 01:31:49,800
Nothing more than this
1286
01:31:49,920 --> 01:31:52,720
no more than this?
1287
01:31:53,080 --> 01:31:57,320
What did you dream
1288
01:31:57,520 --> 01:32:01,080
angel face with flaxen hair
1289
01:32:01,240 --> 01:32:05,120
soul as dead as face was fair?
1290
01:32:05,960 --> 01:32:11,120
Did you ever care?
1291
01:32:17,720 --> 01:32:25,160
yes, you cared for what these purses hold
1292
01:32:25,920 --> 01:32:28,720
you cared for gold
1293
01:32:28,880 --> 01:32:36,920
you cared for gold
1294
01:32:37,640 --> 01:32:41,160
Take it for my kiss
1295
01:32:41,520 --> 01:32:44,720
my bitter kiss
1296
01:32:46,320 --> 01:32:52,480
since it was this you wanted
1297
01:32:54,920 --> 01:33:00,120
no more than this
1298
01:33:31,600 --> 01:33:35,240
For days, Candide does not speak.
1299
01:33:36,280 --> 01:33:39,080
With his one remaining sheep, he buys
1300
01:33:39,200 --> 01:33:41,680
a small farm outside Venice,
1301
01:33:42,560 --> 01:33:44,200
generously allowing Paquette,
1302
01:33:45,080 --> 01:33:48,080
Maximilian, Cacambo, Dr. Pangloss,
1303
01:33:48,240 --> 01:33:52,040
the Old Lady and even Cunegonde to live
1304
01:33:52,200 --> 01:33:56,640
with him there. As the days pass,
1305
01:33:57,560 --> 01:34:01,600
Candide remains silent, the tiny wheels
1306
01:34:01,720 --> 01:34:06,440
of his mind slowly, but finally,
1307
01:34:07,480 --> 01:34:13,440
turning and turning and turning ...
1308
01:34:18,240 --> 01:34:25,320
Life is neither good nor bad
1309
01:34:26,960 --> 01:34:34,240
Life is life, and all we know
1310
01:34:35,800 --> 01:34:42,000
good and bad and joy and woe
1311
01:34:43,160 --> 01:34:46,920
are woven fine
1312
01:34:47,440 --> 01:34:54,480
are woven fine
1313
01:34:56,080 --> 01:35:04,240
All the travels we have made
1314
01:35:05,840 --> 01:35:14,400
all the evils we have known
1315
01:35:16,160 --> 01:35:23,880
even paradise itself
1316
01:35:25,120 --> 01:35:29,720
are nothing now
1317
01:35:31,240 --> 01:35:40,240
are nothing now
1318
01:35:45,960 --> 01:35:47,160
Cunegonde.
1319
01:35:49,280 --> 01:35:50,920
We are not what we were,
1320
01:35:52,200 --> 01:35:56,360
nor do we wish to be. What we wanted
1321
01:35:57,400 --> 01:35:58,760
we will not have.
1322
01:35:59,800 --> 01:36:01,440
The way we have loved
1323
01:36:02,760 --> 01:36:04,080
we will not love again.
1324
01:36:05,800 --> 01:36:09,520
We love now for what we are.
1325
01:36:29,000 --> 01:36:35,640
You’ve been a fool and so have I
1326
01:36:36,160 --> 01:36:41,600
but come and be my wife
1327
01:36:42,480 --> 01:36:48,440
and let us try before we die
1328
01:36:48,720 --> 01:36:55,240
to make some sense of life.
1329
01:36:55,920 --> 01:37:03,320
We’re neither pure nor wise nor good
1330
01:37:03,840 --> 01:37:10,080
we’ll do the best we know
1331
01:37:11,560 --> 01:37:18,120
we’ll build our house and chop our wood
1332
01:37:18,600 --> 01:37:24,840
and make our garden grow
1333
01:37:25,520 --> 01:37:36,120
and make our garden grow
1334
01:37:47,000 --> 01:37:53,520
I thought the world was sugar-cake
1335
01:37:54,160 --> 01:37:59,240
or so our master said
1336
01:37:59,800 --> 01:38:06,120
but now I’ll teach my hands to bake
1337
01:38:06,320 --> 01:38:12,520
our loaf of daily bread
1338
01:38:13,120 --> 01:38:20,000
We’re neither pure nor wise nor good
1339
01:38:20,640 --> 01:38:26,360
we’ll do the best we know
1340
01:38:27,920 --> 01:38:34,040
we’ll build our house and chop our wood
1341
01:38:34,360 --> 01:38:41,320
and make our garden grow
1342
01:38:41,920 --> 01:38:51,520
and make our garden grow
1343
01:38:53,840 --> 01:38:59,720
Let dreamers dream what worlds they please
1344
01:39:00,080 --> 01:39:04,920
those Edens can’t be found
1345
01:39:05,240 --> 01:39:11,120
the sweetest flow’rs, the fairest trees
1346
01:39:11,440 --> 01:39:16,720
are grown in solid ground
1347
01:39:18,200 --> 01:39:25,840
We’re neither pure nor wise nor good
1348
01:39:26,000 --> 01:39:31,200
we’ll do the best we know
1349
01:39:31,600 --> 01:39:38,480
we’ll build our house and chop our wood
1350
01:39:38,920 --> 01:39:46,480
and make our garden grow
1351
01:39:47,800 --> 01:40:02,200
and make our garden grow
1352
01:40:13,480 --> 01:40:15,400
Any questions?
1353
01:43:07,720 --> 01:43:11,280
Let us review lesson eleven
1354
01:43:11,640 --> 01:43:14,960
paragraph two, axiom seven
1355
01:43:15,160 --> 01:43:16,600
once one dismisses
1356
01:43:16,720 --> 01:43:18,480
the rest of all possible worlds
1357
01:43:18,720 --> 01:43:20,120
one finds that this is
1358
01:43:20,320 --> 01:43:22,080
the best of all possible worlds
1359
01:43:22,240 --> 01:43:23,720
once one dismisses
1360
01:43:23,880 --> 01:43:25,560
the rest of all possible worlds
1361
01:43:25,720 --> 01:43:27,160
one finds that this is
1362
01:43:27,320 --> 01:43:29,360
the best of all possible worlds
1363
01:43:29,880 --> 01:43:31,320
any questions?
1364
01:43:32,000 --> 01:43:32,960
what about war?
1365
01:43:34,040 --> 01:43:35,000
War ...
1366
01:43:35,800 --> 01:43:37,240
Though war may seem a bloody curse
1367
01:43:37,400 --> 01:43:39,000
it is a blessing in reverse
1368
01:43:39,160 --> 01:43:39,880
when canons roar
1369
01:43:40,040 --> 01:43:40,800
both rich and poor
1370
01:43:40,960 --> 01:43:42,480
by danger are united
1371
01:43:42,680 --> 01:43:44,280
’til ev’ry wrong is righted
1372
01:43:44,680 --> 01:43:46,120
Philosophers make evident
1373
01:43:46,280 --> 01:43:47,840
the point that I have cited
1374
01:43:48,000 --> 01:43:49,760
’Tis war makes equal, as it were
1375
01:43:49,920 --> 01:43:51,720
the noble and the commoner
1376
01:43:51,880 --> 01:43:53,160
thus war improves relations
1377
01:43:53,400 --> 01:43:55,040
now on to conjugations
1378
01:43:56,400 --> 01:43:59,680
amo, amas, amat, amamus
1379
01:43:59,840 --> 01:44:03,120
amo, amas, amat, amamus
1380
01:44:03,320 --> 01:44:04,920
Proving that this is
1381
01:44:05,080 --> 01:44:06,880
the best of all possible worlds
1382
01:44:07,080 --> 01:44:08,360
with love and kisses
1383
01:44:08,520 --> 01:44:10,360
the best of all possible worlds
1384
01:44:10,560 --> 01:44:11,960
quod erat demonstrandum!
1385
01:44:12,080 --> 01:44:13,640
Q.E.D.
1386
01:44:13,880 --> 01:44:15,520
quod erat demonstrandum!
1387
01:44:15,760 --> 01:44:17,280
Q.E.D.
1388
01:44:17,560 --> 01:44:21,000
Amo, amas, amat, amamus
1389
01:44:21,160 --> 01:44:23,200
Quod erat demonstrandum
1390
01:44:23,200 --> 01:44:28,960
In this best of all possible worlds!
1391
01:44:29,120 --> 01:44:30,840
Quod erat demonstrandum!
1392
01:44:31,160 --> 01:44:37,640
Q! E! D!
87289
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