Original subtitles

TED FLETCHER: Little guy's going to college.

EVE FLETCHER: I'm trying to shove our kid's life into the back of my car.

-(BIKE BELL RINGS) -BECCA: Morning, Mrs. Fletcher.

Oh, please don't call me that.

JULIAN: You know you're gonna get to college

and everybody's gonna see what you are, right?

-Fucking asshole! -(LAUGHTER)

EVE: Let's get you unpacked.

Is there anything else I can do for you guys?

I'll walk you to the elevator.

We finally get to do what we wanna do.

We're free from our kids.

Think about opening up to new things.

(MOANING FROM COMPUTER)

I don't-- I don't think my parents

were this upset when I went away for college. (CHUCKLES)

I just think they kinda just went on with their lives.

-Yeah. -I just don't think they cared.

That's because they were-- They were not as close with us

-as we are with our kids. -Yeah, right.

God, I-- It's so weird. I went-- I--

I went to the grocery store and I-- I still bought...

cereal. Like, those-- that-- those huge boxes

-of junk cereal. -(EMILY LAUGHS)

I brought 'em home and then I was like, "Oh, right,

I don't need to buy this anymore."

Claire used to practice the cello every night

for an hour. And now it's just...

dead silence.

Just pure, dead silence. It's awful.

♪ (PORN MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Eve? Are you dating anyone?

Um... No.

It's okay. She just has higher standards than the rest of us.

(PORN ACTRESS MOANING)

No, no, no. I just asked because there's this great guy

who I think you should meet. My husband's boss...

-Peter's divorced? -Oh, yeah. Six months ago.

But, I mean, this was a long time coming.

(EVE MOANS)

-(PORN ACTRESSES MOANING) -(EVE GROANS)

Okay, thank you, but I'm-- I th...

Really? He's... Why not?

(SIGHS) I will give it-- Let me just...

I'll think about it.

Don't wait too long, or someone's gonna snap him up.

-I agree. I agree with her. -EMILY: Thank you. That's it.

♪ (PORN MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

-Roy? -Mrs. Fletcher.

-Hi. -You look so lovely today.

Thank you, Roy. That's very sweet.

Uh-- Uh... Are you going to water aerobics?

Yes. It's my favorite class. (CHUCKLES)

Well, why don't I take you there?

-Thank you. -Sure.

Do you like oatmeal?

It's okay.

My son makes it every day for breakfast.

I can't even look at it.

Well, why don't you ask him to make you something else?

Oh, no, I don't eat that crap.

I have bacon and eggs.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, good for you, Roy.

AMANDA ONLEY: Come on, divas, you own this. All of this is yours! And back--

Mr. Rafferty!

Hey! Hey, what's up? Come on, get in.

AMANDA: All right, dip it low,

-and right, and left... -You know, Amanda.

-Okay, easy. -AMANDA: Woo! Right...

and left, to the side, and right...

And left, keep going. Right...

and left. Ooh! Grab it low. You're doing it! Yes, Roy, yes!

Work it, divas!

All right, let me see you shake it out. Shake it out!

And front... Ooh! And back! And front! Back!

Come on now, oh!

♪ (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

And now give the butt a lift. And down, and right!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(KNOCKING)

Brendan, come on in.

So...

Why are you here?

Because you sent me an email.

You told me to come to your office.

(SCOFFS) Not here in the room.

I mean, why did you choose BSU?

-(PHONE VIBRATES) -BRENDAN FLETCHER: Um...

Uh... Sorry. What were you saying?

Why are you attending this college?

-'Cause I got in. -You sure did.

-Yeah. -Brendan...

What I'm trying to ask you is what do you want to get

out of your undergraduate experience?

Uh... A job.

Fine.

A job. What kind of job?

Like, a good one.

Like, something that pays, like, you know, like,

six figures or something.

Any particular area for this six-figure job?

Uh... Well, you're my advisor.

So, aren't you supposed to be... advising me?

That's actually what's happening right now.

-(CELL PHONE VIBRATES) -DEVIN TORBORG: Um...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Sorry, it's, uh, it's... It's my mom.

Yeah, of course, it is.

I'm sorry. Look...

I have a job to do here.

So, let's find out a little more about you, say.

How about extracurriculars?

Well, I'm hoping to go Greek.

But I have to wait til next year

'cause they don't allow freshman to rush.

Well, I wouldn't know anything about that.

Where I did my undergrad work, um, we didn't have frats.

Vassar.

-That must have sucked. -It didn't suck.

-Hm. -Brendan, do you realize

that in college every single minute of your existence is...

entirely up to you.

You have vast swaths of time

that you have to fill under your own steam.

Mommy isn't gonna be around to tell you what to do.

Okay.

So...

-Mm... We done? -Do you wanna be done?

Yeah, I wanna be done.

-Yes, we're done. -Great.

Good luck to you, Brendan.

(WHISPERS) Yes, thank you.

-Door closed, please. -Mm.

Good luck to you too, dipshit.

Uh-oh. Did we get a dud?

Uh... Yeah.

-Kind of sucks. -We haven't officially met yet.

I'm Sanjay.

I live across the hall from you.

-Brendan. -Nice.

Well, into the fray!

See you on the hall.

-(KNOCK ON DOOR) -SANJAY: Uh... Cool office.

-Is that a map of the world? -All four corners.

SANJAY: Uh... All four awesome corners.

-(BOTH LAUGHING) -DEVIN: Come on in.

SANJAY: I am a junior cartographer.

-DEVIN: You must be Sanjay. -SANJAY: Yeah, yeah.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS OVER PA) ♪

Hello. Wanna try an organic popsicle?

-Uh... Okay. -Yes.

-Maybe not that one. -(SAMPLE LADY CHUCKLES)

Sure. Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

SAMPLE LADY: You like that?

(WHISPERS) Yeah.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY, GASPING)

-(EVE GROANS) -Say you like it.

Did you like it?

Uh... It's okay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Eve?

This is so weird.

I haven't seen you in forever, and now twice in one week.

Uh...

Yeah, this is so-- This is so weird. Emily, hi.

Just don't buy any cereal though, right?

-Right. Right. (SIGHS) -(CHUCKLES)

You know that guy that-- that you mentioned.

-Pe-- Uh... Peter? -Mm-hm.

I could-- You could totally give him my number.

Or I-- You-- I could-- You know, you could give me his.

-Or whatever. -Oh, my G-- Yes.

Oh, I'm so excited. You guys are gonna love each other.

Looking at who we really are or what we really want

can be terrifying.

It should be.

But that terror is what tells us that we've stumbled onto

something real. Something worth writing about.

So, I'm gonna go around the room,

and let's talk about what scares us.

Whatever comes to mind.

Curtis...

Uh... Off the top of my head I'd say...

black holes.

(CHUCKLES) They freak me out.

(CHUCKLES) The idea of being sucked into nothingness.

Well, now, that scares me too.

-Julian. -Um...

I'm scared of my anti-depressants

not working anymore.

I'm on anti-depressants. I guess I'm telling everybody that.

(EXHALES)

MARGO: Thank you, Julian.

Barry?

Don't love a nuclear Iran.

Okay.

Eve... what scares you?

You know that f-- feeling where you... are convinced

that you left the oven on, even though you know you haven't?

Um... Been having that feeling a lot

since my son went to college.

(INHALES DEEPLY) And I know it's not about the oven.

Then what is it about?

I don't know.

That's what scares me. (SCOFFS)

♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)

Hello.

MAN: (CLEARS THROAT) Uh... Hi.

Uh... Yes. Is this Eve?

Mm-hm.

Uh... This is Peter. Uh... I got your number from Emily.

Oh, hi.

Uh... I hope you don't mind that I called.

Um... I'm not big on texting, and...

No, no, I'm gla-- No. No, me neither.

No, I'm just-- I'm so glad you called.

-Hi. -PETER: Well it's...

-nice to hear your voice. -Yes!

-(CHUCKLES) Hi. -(PETER CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) Um...

Well, uh, so Emily tells me that you're, um,

in real estate.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've been at Olive Branch Realty

for the last 12 years, if you've ever heard of it.

I-- I think I have. Wait, Olive...

-Olive... -PETER: Olive Branch...

(WOMAN MOANING)

-Uh...Olive Branch? -PETER: Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's the place, uh-- That's downtown, right?

-PETER: Exactly. -Oh, yeah.

-Got a good reputation. -It does.

So, you have a son in college?

I do. He just started.

Uh... He's the best. We're really, really close.

Aw, nice. I have a daughter, she just finished up in May.

Oh, where'd she go?

Brown.

Where's your boy?

Uh... Broder State. He's a-- a pre-med.

Wow, I'm jealous.

I love my daughter, but I'm pretty sure I just spent

half my life savings on her poetry degree.

-(PETER CHUCKLES) -(CHUCKLES) Oh...

So, what do you think? You, uh...

wanna meet up and do this in person?

Yeah, I'd... Yeah. I'd love to.

PETER: Great.

Fantastic.

-♪ ("HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!" BY BODEGA PLAYS) ♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

♪ It's new world now don't discriminate ♪

Look at the hula hoop girl.

Yo, what is Latinx?

Uh... It's "Latin-X."

It's, um... the way the Latin community

wants you to spell it now. It's like a...

way of being more inclusive, I guess.

-No, thank you. -(TUTS) Okay.

Um... I think I'm gonna go check out the Robotics Club.

Hm? Okay, yeah, well, I'll catch you for dinner.

-Yeah. Yeah. -All right.

-See you later, man. -Nice.

-Hey. -No.

-No, I was gonna ask you-- -Uh-uh.

About your club.

Hi, guys. Are you interested in joining Vegan Club?

(BRENDAN GROANS)

Wow, she hated you.

Nah, she's... busy.

I don't know. It seemed a lot like deep hate.

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

I'm Chloe.

Brendan.

This your thing here?

Yeah, I stand here and ask people

if they have any family members with autism.

But a lot of people don't, so...

BRENDAN: Mm.

I actually do.

-Who? -My father's son.

-So, your brother? (CHUCKLES) -Uh... No, he's...

I guess. He's like-- He's... uh... my half-brother.

Okay, well, that counts.

You should come to our support group.

We meet every Thursday.

Yeah. I'll, uh...

think about it.

And don't worry. You can stop by without knowing yet

if you think I'm hot enough to fuck.

Oh, no. I wasn't-- I wasn't-- I wasn't doing that.

-That's crazy. -Hi. -STUDENT: Hi there.

-Do you have a family member with autism? -STUDENT: Yeah, I do.

Here's a pamphlet. What's your name?

STUDENT: Mike. So... What's this club all about?

Any hot weekend plans?

Uh... No.

-Nothing really. -Yeah.

Actually, I, um... (CLEARS THROAT)

I-- I am going on a... a date.

Tonight.

It's my first in a really long time.

That's cool, right?

Do you wanna see his pic?

D-- Do you want me to see it?

-(CHUCKLES) I don't know. -I wanna see it.

-Okay. Okay. -Yes, I wanna see it. Yes.

-Th-- That's a normal thing. -Okay, here. Just...

Okay. He looks good!

-Really? -Yeah, he looks nice.

What do you mean, he's nice?

-I don't know-- I-- -I think he looks solid.

You know, like a...

You know what he looks like? He looks like that thing

that's on the top of, like, wedding cakes.

A cake topper?

Yeah, he looks like a cake topper.

-He does? -That's not bad.

-Well... -That's like ideal.

Right? Just like...

He-- He looks good. And, you know what?

No one's ever had a bad experience

-with a cake topper. -(CHUCKLES) Well...

I mean, some people might have.

I-- I don't know how. And, you know what?

He could be the one, right?

(MURMURS) I don't know.

-♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(FIREWORKS EXPLODING)

-MAN: Thank you. -(AUDIENCE GIGGLES)

(WHOOSHING)

-(SHATTERING SOUND EFFECT) -Yeah, well, I didn't consent

to being bored out of my fucking skull.

(CHUCKLES) I don't feel safe.

-(CHUCKLES) -(WHISPERS) Stop.

-(KISSING SOUND EFFECT) -(AUDIENCE TITTERS)

Okay. I'd love to have two volunteers help me out.

Oh shit.

Thank you. Come on up.

Anyone else?

Fuck, that's harassment.

-You over there. -(BRENDAN SNORTS, LAUGHS)

The one forcing his friends hand up.

Come up here.

(AUDIENCE MURMURS)

We're gonna do a little role-play about consent.

Okay?

You are Max.

You are Sam.

We're both guys?

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS) -That's up to you.

All that matters is that Max and Sam

have been hooking up this semester.

But on this particular night Max doesn't feel like it.

The question is, does Sam have the right to expect sex?

-(AUDIENCE MUTTERS) -No.

No.

-No. -No, dude.

-BRENDAN: No. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHS, GROANS)

(DOOR OPENS)

Hey, girl.

-What you doing? -I'm studying.

(LAUGHTER)

-You look fucking hot. -(LAUGHS)

-I wanna hook up. -I told you, I have to study.

-(LAUGHTER) -Come on.

(BOOK CLOSES)

Hey. (CHUCKLES) No means no. Don't pressure me.

I know you want it.

Okay. You don't have to do that for this.

BRENDAN: Hm? Oh.

I'm not renewing my consent.

You need to leave.

FARAH: Fine. Enjoy your stupid book.

(LAUGHTER)

-(IN DEEP VOICE) Bitch. -(CHUCKLES)

-Okay, that's enough. -(LAUGHTER)

ROGER ADAMS: (ON TV) ...socially prominent young couple

plan to take a trip around the world.

-The paper's sending you? -No, I've quit the paper.

We're gonna have a last fling before we settle down

-and become good old American parents. -(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)

JULIE GARDINER ADAMS: But, Roger, you just didn't give up your job

on the paper for no reason at all?

ROGER: Oh, darling, this trip's an inspiration.

Do you remember the honeymoon I promised you?

Well, we're gonna have it.

JULIE: But things are different now.

-We've got to think about the baby. -ROGER: Well, that's just it.

As soon as the baby comes we won't be able to go anywhere.

Besides, I want our baby born in the USA.

Maybe we can get to work and start that little paper.

-JULIE: Oh, but a trip like this costs a fortune. -(ROY BREATHES HEAVILY)

-Did you get more than the 20,000? -Oh, shit.

(ROY GROANS)

ROGER: Well, no. As a matter of fact, we didn't get the 20,000.

-(ROY PANTS, GROANS) -ROGER: We sold the property for cash

-and got 13,500. -(ROY GROANS)

-JULIE: Well, can you take a trip and buy a paper... -(MAN CHUCKLES)

-...and all that on 13,500? -Roy...

-(ROY GROANS) -ROGER: Don't forget there's still lawyers' fees,

deductions, stuff like that.

JULIE: Just how much did you get, Roger?

ROGER: I'm trying to tell you...

-EVE FLETCHER: Roy... -ROGER: After the deductions, we got 10,000.

JULIE: 10,000?

♪ ("STILL" BY BOOTS PLAYS) ♪

(CLEARS THROAT) George. This is Eve Fletcher.

Um...

I feel terrible, uh, leaving this on a voicemail,

but your father...

had another incident today,

and we are gonna need you to come pick him up.

I hope you know how much we all love your father here.

Um... But at this point

he-- he needs more help than we can provide.

I'm so sorry.

♪ Slow while you go ♪

♪ Food for birds ♪

(PUTS PHONE DOWN)

♪ Move Wait, don't move ♪

♪ Still as a stone ♪

♪ Float with the breeze ♪

♪ Back to home ♪

Thought you might like these.

You happy now?

-Hi. -ROY: Hi.

You all set, Roy?

-Yeah. -EVE: Okay.

-ROY: I'm all set. -Okay.

(ENGINE STARTS)

-I'm sorry. -I'll see you soon.

♪ They treat you like a child with a bug ♪

♪ They'll keep pulling off your wings ♪

WOMAN: (THROUGH LAPTOP) All I'm doing is adding heat

-so that, uh... -(HAIR DRYER WHIRRING)

And the fact that this is warm now

means that...

...no weight to the hair.

But in order to give it even more of that luxurious glamor

is we do have to add some shine...

♪ ("LEMON" BY N.E.R.D AND RIHANNA PLAYS) ♪

♪ I live it how I get it ♪

♪ Count the mothafuckin' digits ♪

Dude, you took those Jell-O shots like a champ.

-I-- I-- I love Jell-O. -Man, that was fucking badass.

-'Cause you know it's just-- -ZACK: That was sick.

SANJAY: It's just sucrose, baby.

ZACK: It's basically just gelatine.

SANJAY: It's just jelly, and-- Don't be jelly...

ZACK: Don't be jel-- (LAUGHS)

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

FARAH: Hey Max.

Sam!

I've been looking all over for you.

-Yeah? -Uh-huh.

-Here I am. -Mm-hm.

How'd you like that stupid book?

(INHALES SHARPLY)

It was, uh...

-It was kinda boring. -Told you.

Oh, yes! Oh! Oh!

-(MOANING) -Fuck, yeah.

(BOTH GROANING)

-Yeah, you like that fat cock? -(MOANS) Yeah.

Oh, Daddy! Oh! Give it to me, Daddy!

(BOTH GRUNTING, MOANING)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

Hey, Pop, come in.

Let's watch the game.

I don't feel like it.

Nobody's mad at you.

Right, well, you come in when you're ready.

I got us some ice cream.

Okay. (SIGHS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-♪ (LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-(SIGHS) Hi. -PETER: Hi.

-Peter? -Yes.

Hi.

-So nice to meet you. (CHUCKLES) -Hi. (LAUGHS) Nice to meet you.

-Thanks for coming. -(CHUCKLES) Of course.

Please, have a seat.

You know, the second I saw you I was hoping it was you.

You never know if someone's gonna look like their picture.

Well, this is-- This is me.

-Well, you look great. -Aw. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, I hope you like this place.

It's one of my, uh, Haddington faves.

Mm.

Steaks-- I mean, that ribeye, oh, my God.

And I-- I actually live not too far from here, so...

yeah, I'll tend to show up here more often than maybe I need to.

But, uh, everyone knows me here,

so it feels like, kind of, my local place, and...

yeah.

(VOICE FADING) It's just, kind of, a classic feel to it.

Not too formal, but, uh...

-♪ (DRONING MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(PETER TALKS INDISTINCTLY)

PETER: Can I get you a drink? Would you like some wine?

There's some great wines. Have you been here before or...?

-Mm. Mm-hm. -(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

PETER: Um...

Is something wrong?

I'm so sorry. I think I left...

-something on at home. -Really?

Yeah.

-I'll wait for you. -Oh, no, please don't.

Oh, sorry! Excuse me, I-- No, no, no.

(STUTTERS) You don't have to wait, I--

Sorry.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(SIGHS)

♪ ("RUN (IT'S NEVER TOO LATE)" BY CLASSIC FICTION PLAYS) ♪

♪ Gone are the days ♪

-♪ Of the world we used to know ♪ -(KEYS DROP)

♪ How many times ♪

♪ Did we try to Save tomorrow? ♪

♪ But the tides are a-changing, love ♪

♪ Spaces that held us once Drift away ♪

♪ And all that we have lost Sinks into the past ♪

♪ And decays ♪

♪ So I run ♪

♪ And every bone is broken ♪

♪ Say goodbye To the world we know ♪

♪ Tides pull me out into the open race ♪

♪ And I will surrender love ♪

♪ Into the deeper waters and away ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

(EVE GASPS)

(PANTS) Roy!

I like it here.

(EVE SIGHS)

I like it, too.

♪ Sinking like lonely souls ♪

♪ To the bottom of the ocean ♪

♪ And all that we have lost Will sink into the past ♪

♪ And decay ♪

♪ So I run ♪

♪ And every bone is broken ♪

♪ Circling around an empty world ♪

♪ I'm stuck inside of my emotions ♪

♪ Say goodbye to the world we know ♪

♪ Tides pull me out into the open race ♪

♪ And I will surrender love ♪

♪ Into the deeper waters and away ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

♪ It's never too late ♪

MARGO FAIRCHILD: When you think about your lives,

who's the conductor? Anyone?

Okay, what if we move class to a bar?

-Yes. -Oh.

♪ (SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

TED FLETCHER: So what do you think?

Brendan seems to be finding his footing.

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

BRENDAN FLETCHER: So, you wanna hang out?

You trying to run game on me

while I'm giving you a comfort hug?

Do you like this class?

EVE FLETCHER: Yeah, do you?

Sometimes, I'm like, what am I doing here?

-But... -What are you doing here?

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪